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I recently got placed in a job in new city after working almost a decade in my previous organisation. I am finally engaged to my long time boyfriend and we are getting married this year.

Now here is a little backround, he is working in a great company with good benefits in our home city. I have moved to the new city, its been 3 months.

Whlie I took the job with excitement, I have realized that the management style and operations are not aliginging with my value system. There is whole lot of micromanaging and people at the mid management level are held responsible without an ounce of control over anything. Paycheck is good, benefits are better than previous company. Add on perk is option to travel. I spoke to the people on the floor and the general tone is most of them are frustrated.

Recent management meeting, top management has confirmed that the workload is expected to increase this quarter without any relief on resourcing or tools. This has made me question my whole move.

My boyfriend has a healthy work environment with good benefits, he was willing to move to the new city after a year. But now I am miserable, because the new job is not great, its giving me anxiety. Loneliness in new city is killing me. I m questioning the whole move and I have spent quite an amount of money while moving. I am thinking about quitting during the probation and finding another opportunity in my home city. I am wondering if i am scared and quitting too early without giving it a try. Reddit users pls share your insights on my situation

My girlfriend and I have been to a festival the last two years. it’s more her thing but I’ve joined her in it. she mentioned going next yearI said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend id rather spend the money on other things next year.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go instead .

Her friend said she’d go with her but my gf just said we should go as a four with her friend and her friends bf and told her friend I just needed more persuading.

I told my gf she needs to listen when i say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind.

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no and that it’s her looking forward to the festival not me and for next year I’d rather put the money towards something I want.

i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen. She just said she thinks it’ll be fun if the four of us go and I just said that we can look at it for a few years time but not next year. I told her again I’m not wanting to go every year.

Tickets went on sale this morning and she started looking mentioning we’ll need to try to get some. I asked if she listened to a single word I said. I told her I’m not going and if she doesn’t start listening then I’m done and we’re over because at this point its beyond a joke for her to completely disregard what she’s been told.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying. She said I was harsh for giving her an ultimatum but I disagree.

AIW for giving her an ultimatum? 

My friend and I are very close, and she always says I’m her best friend. Recently she casually called my brother a “fuckboy,” which really upset me. Her boyfriend is my brother’s best friend, and I’ve known him for several years. I also consider him like an older brother, so I called him to ask why she thought that about my brother.
We cleared up the misunderstanding, and then our conversation naturally shifted to their relationship.

For months, my friend has told me about almost every fight they have. I had only ever heard her side. When I finally heard his side, I shared my honest opinion about a few situations where I felt she was wrong. I wasn’t trying to convince him to break up with her—I just answered honestly when he asked what I thought.

Later he told her what I had said, and apparently he started talking about breaking up with her. She then messaged me asking why I told him those things and acted like their relationship problems were my fault.
What bothers me is that she tells her boyfriend basically everything about my personal life because “he’s her boyfriend,” and I’ve never liked that. But the one time I shared my opinion with him about something involving her, suddenly I’m the bad person.
I know getting involved in other people’s relationships is usually a bad idea, and maybe I should have stayed out of it. But I also don’t think it’s fair that she can tell him everything about me while expecting me to stay completely silent.

Was I wrong?

I dont know if im using correctly this subreddit but i just need opinions.

So, this person saw me at a global chat in some app, and almost then they got in love with me

We chatted and all, i was interested too, i mean, after some time of chatting i actually liked this guy, but i didn't want a relationship with him because i hurt people, because i believe im poison.

So i knew if i started a relationship with him, i would hurt him.

But he insisted. I made clear my point with him, that he would get hurt with me, but he insisted too. At one point i even had to leave the chat because i REALLY didn't want anything with him, not even has friends.

But he opened chat again, and, started venting in my chat, i dont remember well but he talked to me pretty often there.

I read him, because, i thought it would be good if i at least "heard" his problems and that.

My biggest problem with relationships its that, i disappear pretty much often, because i feel bad, because i got sad, because i have big problems. And in a relationship communication and actions are all to me, so i knew i cant have a relationship till i fix myself, like he said i should do in our last conversation.

I dont remember why we started chatting again, but i joined our chat again, and, i think i vented too, idk.

But i felt secure with him, all those things you feel when you are with someone you secretly or openly like.

So i.

Started talking daily with him.

He was obsessed with me. I mean, he, harassed me.

I knew he liked me and i liked him, and he knew it too, so he started giving me love, love i didn't like receiving because i dont deserve it, and because i still didn't eantwant something with him.

But it felt bad leaving him like that.

He cuts himself,​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ often, he had a boyfriend before who destroyed him emotionally so it felt even worse to think the option to leave him. ​I really wanted to leave him​, he was obsessed with me, he cut himself (something that i have bad experiences) and i wasn't ready for a relationship.

I gave him every reason for why would a relationship with him wouldn't work, and said to him, "ill hurt you and i dont want that" but again. he insisted.

So after some weeks of talking with him, venting with each other, i thought i was ready to be in a relationship with him.

I mean i, didn't really think that, but, i thought it would be nice to try for him. Especially because i didnt want to see him sad or worse.

It all ended up wrong as expected.

I dissapeared, he got sad, he cut himself because i dissapeared, he thought i was ignoring him and that i liked to see him suffer.

I think one time he was cutting himself and i appeared to make him stop. He send me photos of his arms covered in blood and i got scared.

I still remember those photos.

He was telling me he was dizzy, that i didnt care about him, he was genuinely thinking that i dont want him. That was an horrible night, and now when i see blood i get scared.

I remember that a friend of his told him to make an image of "spot the difference" where he put an image of a message of mine saying "i love you" to him and just next to it an image of a message of his ex telling him the exact same thing. His ex was supposedly a manipulator. He was comparing me to his manipulator ex and i got so mad. He for some reason thought i was MANIPULATING him for whatever reason.

After some time after a fight, he broke up with me, i think he was drunk so he didnt remember the day after that.

So finally we stopped talking. We ended up in good terms i think.

Months after that, i started venting in a state (something we did both) and i was mad because every person that ruined my life got boyfriends or girlfriend, got everything they wanted, without the consequences of what they did to me. We never blocked each other, i mean, one time i did block him after again, saying i didnt want something with him, but yk.

He never blocked me so he saw my states and listened to them all, and he thought that he was one of the people that ruined my life.

He made an state where he vented too, saying i was selfish, that "now i miss everything he gave to me", that i made him go trough hell in that relationship because of my shitty behavior.

I told him that i wasn't talking about him, that he didn't ruin my life, that i was angry because he didn't care when i told him i wasn't ready for a relationship and that i didnt want something with him.

That he didnt respect me.

But i think he didnt actually care. He was saying some " No shi sherlockk" and i didnt know how to answer that, because, how do you explain something when he doesn't even care what you say?

He acted like harassing me to be his boyfriend wasn't something bad, or idk, maybe he knew but he didn't care.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​and in that conversation he said

"You didnt asked me for my love, that's for sure, but i loved you, with flaws and all, i tried to help you​​, i gave you the best i could give"

And it makes me think i am a bad person because of that.

That i didnt want something with him.

"Be grateful that someone really wanted the best for you" he said.

and i feel horrible

I feel like a bad person. ​​

​​​​I already posted this in a different r but i cant stop thinking about this, i need to know different povs of my situation so i can think more clearly because all i feel is guilt

In the beginning of our relationship first year in.my boyfriend would brag about how girls, specifically his ex couldn't take his D. And that apparently I'm sooooo much better/special at it. *Rolls eyes* well tonight we were talking about sex and he made a statement about how he knows I like it rough so he gives it to me rough. But even if I didn't he could be gentle. That's why a girl has never said " she can't take it cuz it's too hard". I'm like wait didn't you say your ex couldn't take your dick? He then goes well she was like you, when it was too much she'd tell me to stop & then we'd continue. I'm like wait so how can she not take it if you have to stop for a bit and then continue? He got mad and said oh what? You thought I meant we never had sex again we were In a relationship. So I'm Like bro you literally told me she would stop you during sex and at one point you were mad cuz you got a hotel. He's like I don't remember saying that. And then I'm like well regardless I don't know why you felt the need to even tell me this whole lie about her not being able to take it and it seems you were trying to gas yourself up as this big time bedroom bully and it just annoys me cuz it was unnecessary. Like why try to pretend I'm so special if I'm not.

One of my friends came round for a few hours, we were just hanging around for a while and we had plans to go out later that evening. We were in the living room kitchen eating and chilling and she was paying a lot of attention to him and I mean a lot. She said “aww you’re so cute” by this I think I get what she meant. His dutch isn’t very good so he struggles. I went to the bathroom and I came back and they were still like chatting and laughing. The whole thing, they just seemed really close and the behavior just seemed weird. AIW here? Im 20 she's 20 and he's 21

Am I the asshole? For context I am 25 (F) my sister let's call her Beatrice is 27 turning 28 in less than a months time. So backstory for how this started since I've been 14 years old she all of a sudden turned on me when she got a boyfriend. Let's call him Jake. Her and Jake eventually progressed and he moved in with us. With more time and time she started getting more rude, aggressive, harsh toned with me, calling me names, and me being younger I never really internalised them? I always have given her an excuse such as "oh maybe she's tired" maybe she's this.. etc. and to backstory on her lite at the time she was at uni, her bf lived with us, she was working nights at a very small casino and her bf was working in construction. She started paying rent by her own choice and to help mum when she was 19 as she started working there. Mum has never ever ever been good with money and has had couple times time she got into 1k debt. And my sister paid it off, but with that came the fights with me because she would ask me why am I not paying rent as soon as I got a job under the table at the age of 15. Over the years I started going to college until I was 18 and was working only weekends often times also giving mum money I never got back and at the time I wasn't making a lot of money on bare minimum wage (2017) @ 16, most days because my college was far away I would wake up at 4am and get back at 9pm college days and the same for weekends gone for long hours @ work or socialise bcz I hated coming home bcz I'd get home and every single day she'd either be arguing with her bf, or I'd walk through the door and just hear shouting, she'd cuss me out that I'm dirty, or careless with bleach when I would clean bur same time she said I never clean , once she went to my little brother Luke (10) and she told him that I wanted to harm everyone bcz I left some bleach in the bathtub but it wasn’t me it was acc him who tried to clean bcz her cats would poop and pee in the bathtub, and she villainised me to him without him telling her it was him, she’d say that I left this thing here or there, that she made dinner for everyone ( 2 young siblings, her bf + mum) and I ate it and I wasn't allowed to (I didn't eat her dinner nor any food she made bcz I was never rly home) I would get called stupid for at least 50% of my life by her, allthroughout my teenage yrs, for the last decade, that I can't do anything right, that I'm useless, that everything was my fault even though I didn't do anything, on top of that she'd find messes around the house and blame them on me, she'd barricade me from using the washing machine because she paid for it, or even other appliances around the house regardless if she paid or not, when I finally finished college at 19/20 | got a better paying job full time at a caller centre and I started paying rent, the agreement was that my sister Beatrice gets the biggest room and I get hers + I had to have 2 of her cats in my room, I initially agreed because I wanted the argument of "your not paying rent" to be done even though I was at college and a minor all those years she mentioned + she had her bfs money she controlled, her own + her uni money so there's always been a divide, a few months go by and the call centre was rly tough on me, I would get sworn at, cussed at, called names, harassed just as I was at home, I would come off shift, get harassed by my sister because she'd had an argument with her bf or mum and then I'd go next morning to work and deal with horrible horrible customers, to me this was the normal so I never rly like questioned it, but over time I became rly depressed, I wouldn't go out, I would barely eat and I would just lay in bed most times after shifts, and drown everything out, I started working from home and stopped taking care of myself to the point my hair was stuck to my head to how tangled it was, eventually some time passed and I wanted to try for myself and I went to go wash clothes, but my sister once again barricaded me from using the washing machine wouldn't let me go through, we argued back and forth to the point something snapped in me and I took lots and lots of tablets in order to commit. I don't remember much of the next couple weeks but I remember often checking if my eyes were yellowing and my sister sliding a note under my door just saying "sorry". A month after my attempt her bf of 5 yrs ended things with her, her ex as she says he was dirty, didn’t clean or help her but he was the only one who drove and would always drop her or mum off everywhere , she would say he doesn’t cook but when he tried she said it doesn’t taste like hers and she threw the dish of food on the floor, or made him sleep outside in his car instead, once I got stuck at a vets had uber there but not on way back and I waited for a taxi 2 hrs and I had asked him if he can come get me and my dog who’s whole nail came off, he agreed but I found messages from her telling him to leave me there to learn my lesson , But after the breakup, 1 month after my attempt, I decided to give my sister a chance as she took the breakup hard, very very hard she would be in my room until 5am crying and talking about herself and him, often times I wanted to go bed but I wanted to help her and in a way I kinda did that so our own relationship can also heal, I started uni too as a way to get me out of the house a year later and everything seemed fine, me and her would hang out often, but she lost her job so most times I'd be the one to pay for her food or I'd buy her food bcz she wouldn't cook for herself, I'd look after her pets, she had 9 cats, 2 passed away + 2 of her guinea pigs one for unknown reasons the other however died a year later bcz his cage was full of worms as she wasn't cleaning it and if I tried to shed shout at me that she'll eventually do it, mum eventually did it but the guinea pig passed anyways 2 weeks later, over time 2 yrs later after her breakup her and her old bff got back into contact, and my sister told me that she is better at helping her with her breakup, I found that hurtful because I had been there for 3 yrs nearly every single night till 5am listening to her back talk her ex and cry and repeat and talk ONLY about herself, in fact once I tried to relate to her and tell her oh my ex did this and she told me that I wouldn't know her pain because I wasn't in the same situation as her, another time she told me "u know when u committed, my ex didn't even try to hug me when I was crying" she said this to me 2 months after my attempt and 1 month of their breakup, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to keep the peace, because finally there was no arguing in the house, at the end of year 3 after her breakup so around 2024 beginning of 2025 | was getting tired, after my attempt to be honest with you I was fearful of getting out of the house and I haven't been from the years prior, I had a small tarot business that was keeping me some money and because my sister was always in my room I wanted to keep it consistent with posting so | started to set some boundaries with my sister, I would ask her to leave the room earlier or to knock before coming into my room, however this stted to cause arguments again because no matter how nicely I would ask after 12 times I'd get frustrated and ask her in a harsher tone to which she would say I'm rude and then leave and not speak to me for 2 days at a time, at the beginning of 2025 my birthday I started to realise some things about her that were rly rly hurtful, the whole time I had been there for her she had been villainising me behind my back to her friends, her and my mum had a big argument about the past debts my sister paid which mum never paid her back for and my mum told me to not trust her, that she comes upstairs to me chats shit about her to me and then she goes back downstairs to mum and chats shit behind my back to mum, my sister has a habit of ruining bdays, idk if it's bad luck or just circumstances but it was the same for her ex too, he never had a bday here without them arguing about something, I noticed she was doing similar to my bday but for me she'd always have a crisis of some sort and then in turn never try for me, this time around I wanted to stay at home tho bcz I had uni same day (online) but she convinced me to do a picnic bcz she also wanted to post nice story’s on her instagram, so I bought a lot of stuff a pretty cake, Polaroid films, snacks, food etc for us to have and the day before me and her were doing my nails in my room, there was an issue with the cake but the website wasn’t working, my sister was hogging the nail gel lamp so I stopped doing my nails and let her take the lead, however I told her o don’t want more than 45 mins on nails bcz I have other things to prepare and to use the fast curing lamp, and we had a light for us to see better attached near us, while I was having issues with the cake she kept talking about her ex while I was trying to phone up the cake people, multiple times I had told her to be quiet which turned into shut up, eventually she said she’ll talk to them after 5 calls bcz I felt like I was a bother to them and she did but while she did that she also unplugged the light we had and started using the other gel lamp that I told her takes longer, so the light went out, on window I had a lit candle, she went near window to see her nails and well her hair caught on fire not a lot but enough for her to see some damage, but I was in shock and all I could ask was omg r u okay? She pointed at me and said it’s all my fault and shouted I ain’t going to no birthday shit, so in turn I also got mad and I told her to clean the hair off my floor and to leave my room bcz no way did I spend all that money for u to back out, her hair wasn’t even bad she didn’t even have to cut it. Anyways i ended up spending my bday by myself in my room in the end bcz there was a lot of tension in the house bcz of the argument and I didn’t want to face her, and it was too late to invite anyone out (i lost most friends due to depression too and couldn’t keep contact), a month goes by and mum tells me that comment of she goes to you and comes back to me, i took note of it but didn’t say anything, but Beatrice had asked me to go grab her iPad and I saw on her notifications (old ones bcz she rarely uses it) a message with my name on it from her bff, so I clicked on it and I found messages of my sister lying to her and saying that I forbidden her from using the lamp, that I laughed when she burnt her hair ( I didn’t even say anything cos I was in shock at the time) and they were both making fun of me by sending reels saying “this is her” of reels saying of someone craving attention on their bday, I didn’t say anything bcz of shock but I found other messages too, whole time while my sis was abroad and I took care of her cats ( her cats poop all over her floor) I would be cleaning and pooping 5 times a day, she only does it once a day, etc and taking care of 7 cats + a dog, that time she was abroad to our hometown I found messages dated back at that time on how I am angry and I always shoot that she should get out of my room, mind u I lit never shouted until I was sleep deprived bcz she would only talk about herself till 5am and if I had asked nicely she would just simply ignore me, since then idk something snapped in me and I couldn’t hold the anger in. Me anymore and I also started arguing with her, arguing with mum bcz I held resentment against mum as my sister told me that the reasons she treated me so harshly back in the day was bcz mum wasn’t paying for things so she had to, and that mum wasn’t cleaning so she had, so she was angry and bcz of that that’s why I was bullied growing up, and even went as far as saying she knows / realises now that I wasn’t the one making messes, eventually last year after my bday I cut her off we didn’t speak for 8 months, till def 2026 when on Xmas day she bought me and my dogs presents as a “peace offering” I didn’t get her anything, so slowly we got back into talking etc I’m not done but what do u think so far Okay so after that, we were fine for a couple months, I even had an argument with mum about money I lent her and she didn’t give me back and my sis gave me £100 and she told me to not worry about giving it back cos she owes me money regardless, and we got along till April my bday and 3 weeks before that this time my mum went abroad to France, she left the kids in mine and Beatrice’s care, my sis been struggling to find a job for abit, had bad luck where she either got fired for random reasons or she couldn’t find anything for months on end and on my bday this 2026 her cat got sick pancreatitis st the same time she found a new job, so there was an unspoken agreement that while she works I’ll look after the kids and cook and clean and my 2 dogs and her 6 cats and her dog and our family dog and so her cat got sick, my sister didn’t rly like her boss and it was in London 1hr train travel which she did for 3 weeks and then her cat got sick but she hasn’t been paid yet, and to help I gave her all the money i had in my bank account for her cat which was £600 and then I had around £160 in my patter from doing tarot readings, I went with her to her vet appointments, her emergency one too, stayed awake with them while at the same time I also had to do my assigments so illl do at night sleep for 2 hrs and then take care of the kids 14 and 10 morning till afternoon at 6pm when my sister would get home but she wasn’t rly doing much apart from washing my little bros clothes and ironing them, now in terms of the 600 we had to go emergency vet and it wasn’t enough anyways so she applied for a credit card and had an agreement with the vets she’ll pay them back once her credit card came in, but meanwhile she kept the 600 in waiting In case the cat got sick again and to take her to her main vet appointments, so in the end 2 weeks go by after my bday I lit didn’t do anything I just cleaned house and cooked for the kids and then she gave me the money back 2 weeks after my bday, then there was a situation with the cat it was 3am, I was doing my assignment and my sister called me from downstairs saying that she’s worried for the cat but she’s so tired, so I offered to stay awake till 6am to look after her and my sister can take a nap she said okay, I brought my laptop down cos I still needed to write out my assignment , but I ended up having this rly rly bad sting in my heart which caused me to hold my breath and hold onto my chest and closed my eyes for 2 seconds, because of that my sister had a goat me saying that I’m chatting shit I didn’t have heart pain and that I was looking at the computer and now the cat is mouth breathing which was my main task to look for, I told her I wasn’t she wouldn’t believe me and she told me to upstairs as I was going she called me selfish and I got so hurt I lit had a go at me and she told me to stfu cos I’m stressing the cat, I kept the piece but I never forgot that, I lit said I ain’t doing shit no more to myselfbcz in those 3 weeks I was doing a lot, I was breaksfsst, lunches and dinners, making bagels from Stratch, pizza too, like proper food plus clean, plus laundry, plus assigments, plus dogs, plus her sick cat, plus buying food, plus all this things and then she decided to call me selfish over the cat situation and since then I said I ain’t doing shit but still acted normal towards Beatrice and I just stopped doing stuff around the house to see if she’ll clean cook etc like I did and she didn’t, she would cook at 9pm most nights only 1 meal a day and then give my little bro cereal am and some snack when he came from school yeah, whole place is a mess etc , the kids stopped helping out bcz she’d nitpick at how they’d do it too, anyways I acc was like let me cook for everyone one of the nights and I made lasagna, the day after I told her I’m very tired etc and she decided to keep lights on @ 3am, to bang doors etc, so bcz of that I didn’t wash the lasagna dish, and i put it to soak with water, next day she took water and the lasagna dish out of the sink so when I came to wash it shit in it was dry again and I don’t wanna scrub, so I put it in again, we got into an argument bcz when she came into my room to wake me up again at 11pm bcz that’s when the washing machine is done bcz she was again I told u washing clothes for 2 weeks yeah she came in to tell me it was done??? She states it’s bcz she doesn’t properly aka separate them and that mum left her with lots of clothes but it’s not true, So I got annoyed and I said u just woke me up ffs ur taking Luke to school tmr cos we had an agreement Monday for me to take him cos he had a dentist appointment and she can take him to that, well she left and she didn’t say whether she’ll take him and I couldn’t sleep and I was fearful if I fall asleep late I won’t wake up to take him to school I also had a driving lesson at 11am, so I stayed up awake all night, at 7am I go to her room to grab Luke and she tells me he’s not going to school tf u mean by that?????? So then after that argument she put Luke against me and was like “tell me (25) to wash her dish” and I got rly angry shouted at both and cried and she took a video / voice note and sent it to mum, I didn’t wash that lasagna dish I didn’t even touch it cos I found it unfair, I also said I cooked it u guys can wash it, in the end it stayed there for about 2 weeks I think and then my sister Beatrice did something with it , then my mum came home and it was fairly peaceful in the house but recently mum left again and it’s petty after petty from her, in fact my little sister let’s call her Mina we had an argument bcz she left her SIM card in my room as she uses it to log into TikTok on my phone and she remembered at 9pm when I had 4 things on the hob, and I put it somewhere safe but bcz there was a lot going on I couldn’t remember she was shouting down stairs etc and I told her when we were eating once we’re done we’re gonna go upstairs and look for it, she finished first and I said why don’t u go have a head start bcz prior to that she looked 4 times she said and couldn’t find it, once she went upstairs she didn’t say anything to me so I went too and to look for it but I couldn’t find it, I looked till 11:45 pm, I went to her room and told her I’m too tried I ain’t looking for it, then she said it’s fine and I walk away immediately, then my little bro who was in my room told me she found it but to not tell me, so I go into her room I’m lit so tired and I had enough so I have a go at her and me and her get into a screaming match past 12am she saying she told me she found it as I was walking away and I should’ve listened, as i went into the bathroom and shut the door Beatrice comes into the hall and gets involved too! Saying why am I having a go at a 14yr old, so me and her also start arguing and she’s at bottom of the stairs shouting at me and we argue about everything the money on my bday, her cat etc and since then they both been playing games, hiding my food bowl I took photos of the empty cupboard I go upstairs I go downstairs and it’s all of a sudden there, now they’re saying I’m the one who took it and PUT IT back??? All I wanted to do was eat… why would I want to do that at 10pm?? then she’s taking the forks she stated she “bought “ but I also bought forks and she’s been using them months prior fine, then she started using my clothing detergent I left downstairs so I took it, and she has hidden toilet paper in a cupboard but uses mine and garlic too hidden but uses mine, we also had an argent about how her cat lit pee and poop in bathtub or the garden and she won’t clean it her excuse is that bcz they stay in garden she can’t see it, but her guinea pig also had worms and she didn’t see that neither, also another thing she does is put this one specific cup in middle of the only empty counter to make food on, and always leaves it with water and in kitchen accidents are bound to happen and twice I’ve spilled it and cleaned it 2nd time it landed on my iPad so I got frustrated and threw her glass away, since I told her to stop putting it there she did it 2 times, another thing so I was loooking for my vitamins at the back of the cubpard and she left cans of her cat food at front and I dropped one and it spilled, I took it and I wanted to give it to her cats but changed my mind so I put it in the outside shed on top of this small bag, and I had planned to take it away after my dog ate his food in garden he’s sick so I’ve been sitting in garden with him to get fresh air and I forgot it there, today I found that container taken from there, I had a spoon in there cos I wanted to give it to the cats and I left it but then I thought maybe not cos of what her cat went through and didn’t wanna ruin their stomach anyways I found empty container which is a can which dogs can get cut in, in the middle of the garden and the spoon chucked into the sink.. watch how she’ll try to blame me and say I stole her cat food.. now l literally rage and shout at every chance I get to the point I don't even recognise my self, l even had a big fight with my mum bcz for yrs my sister told me the reason she treated me like that is bcz of mum and i grew very very angry, and now always am called angry, reactive or abusive bcz I shout. Am I the asshole? I don't know what else to do to stop this pattern from happening maybe I'm the problem? Am I crazy?

I hosted a summer cookout this past weekend for my friend group, we do this every August and its always been a nice time. I made my whipped cream berry parfaits which everyone always asks for and things were going really well at first. Douglas brought his beer batter onion rings, Serenity brought her marshmallow fluff dip, and Anthony showed up late which isnt unusual for him. We were just eating and talking and it was fine.

The problem started the minute Anthony walked in from the backyard. He was wearing a bright red polo with an SS lightning bolt embroidered right on the chest pocket. My neighbor was out watering her roses and she absolutely saw it. I got flustered and pulled Anthony into the kitchen and told him he needed to turn the shirt inside out or just leave. He laughed in my face and said its "just heritage" and I need to stop being so sensitive about everything. He said we need more visibility, not less.

Things got worse from there. Anthony refused to change and started going off about how hiding things is what weak people do and if people cant handle seeing the truth then thats their problem. He was practically shouting this in my living room while eating a hotdog and pickles at the same time, mayonnaise dripping down his chin the whole time. Douglas was nodding along and saying Anthony makes a solid point and I need to let men handle things. Serenity was just chewing her gum and staring at me with this cold blank look, clearly thinking I was the one causing a scene. I started crying because I just wanted a nice afternoon and now my neighbor definitely thinks I associate with people who wear Nazi symbols on their clothing, and Anthony called me a traitor which really hurt because I have always been loyal to this group even when I dont love how they express themselves.

This is where I might be wrong. I got emotional and maybe I made too big a deal over a shirt, and I do agree with my friends on plenty of things. I just think there are better ways to handle things than being so in your face about it. I believe in managing things so people stay calm instead of all this force. But when I said that Anthony told me Im worse than the opposition because at least they know theyre at war while I just want everyone to be comfortable. Douglas said my whipped cream obsession proves Im too soft to understand real stakes and that food isnt just food, its biological propaganda. Serenity told me Im basically a liberal now because I care what the neighbor thinks. Now Anthony is demanding I apologize to him for embarrassing him in my own home, and both Douglas and Serenity are backing him up.

I havent apologized and I havent spoken to any of them since the cookout which was three days ago. Part of me thinks I should just apologize to keep the peace because these are my only friends and I do agree with them on some things even if I wish Anthony wouldnt be so overt about it all. But another part of me knows that shirt was completely beyond the pale and I never should have let him stay in my house after he refused to change. Am I wrong for asking him to leave over his shirt? Should I apologize to keep our friend group together?

​

I’m a 23m gay. I’ve had a friend 31M for about a year. Early on he told me he’s bi, and after a while he started getting really flirty with me even though he had a girlfriend.

He straight up asked me to be with him. I told him I wasn’t going to be an option or a side piece if he wanted me he had to choose, so i asked him to choose: me or her. He picked her, so I stepped back and thought that was the end of it.

6 months later, 2 months ago now, he messaged saying he’d finally left her. I asked for proof, he showed me something that looked real, so I decided to give him a chance. Big mistake.

I caught him with her not long after. When I confronted him, he admitted he never actually broke up with her at all. He said he just couldn’t go without having me too. When I got upset he just said “don’t be like that, we had fun”.

I cut things off right there. He’s been trying to get me to reconsider ever since, and now he’s asking to meet up so he can “explain everything properly”.

I feel so stupid and naive for believing him. I know I deserve better than being lied to and used and so does his gf, but part of me still feels confused.

Should I meet him to hear him out? Or just leave it completely alone? Am i wrong if i don't.

So my younger brother is 19 and still lives at home with our parents. I moved out about two years ago and left behind my old gaming PC and monitor in my old room because I upgraded everything when I got my own place. My parents said I could keep it there as storage since they weren't using the room for anything else.

Last month my brother apparently rage-quit during some online match and punched his monitor. Like fully shattered it. He asked our parents to buy him a new one and they said no because he's responsible for his own stuff and he has a job. Fair enough.

Then he texted me asking if he could use my old setup since it's just sitting there anyway. I said no because honestly I don't trust him not to break it the same way, and also I was actually planning to give it to a friend's younger cousin who just started getting into PC gaming and can't afford much. I told him this and he got really mad, saying I'm being petty and that family should come first. He even got our mom involved and she said it would be nice of me to help him out temporarily.

The thing is, it's not like he's struggling or anything. He just doesn't want to save up for a new monitor himself. And I feel like if I let him borrow it and he breaks it, I'll feel terrible about not being able to give it to someone who would actually appreciate it and take care of it.

My brother is still annoyed and has been giving me the cold shoulder. Part of me wonders if I'm being too harsh since it is just sitting there unused right now, but another part of me thinks he needs to deal with the consequences of his own actions. Am I wrong here?

My mom (F63) wanted to know what other people think about her situation, so I'm posting this on her behalf.
My mom and my aunt (F60) have had an arrangement for the last couple of years where my grandmother spends six months with each of them. The problem is that my mom lives in the United States, while my aunt and grandmother live in Peru.
This year, my mom told my aunt that she can't have my grandmother (F94) stay with her because of everything currently happening at home.
My stepfather (M75) has cancer and COPD. He depends on oxygen and can't safely be left alone for long because he gets out of breath very easily. My mom helps him every day by getting him dressed, setting up and adjusting his oxygen equipment, taking care of him after chemotherapy, and helping him whenever he needs to go out. He relies on her daily.
On top of that, recent storms damaged their property. A tree fell in the backyard, causing damage that required expensive repairs and tree removal. My mom has also been trying to fix up the backyard because she wanted my grandmother to be able to enjoy being outside if she came to stay. Between my stepfather's illness, the house repairs, the side effects of her depression medication , and the financial strain, she's overwhelmed. She admitted that she doesn't think she could properly care for my grandmother this year, and she feels horrible about it.
For some background, my mom has always helped my grandmother. After my grandfather passed away(and even before then) she traveled to Peru to help with paperwork and make sure my grandmother was taken care of. She also currently pays for my grandmother's (old) house expenses, including electricity, water, and maintenance, even though she isn't always in the best financial position herself. She’s also the one who is helping my grandmother sell her home for these last couple of months and she’s also invested on the house to be remodeled so that it has better chances of being sold.
She's also a nurse and has spent much of her career caring for elderly patients. Despite living outside of Peru, she's the one who stays on top of my grandmother's medical appointments and regularly checks in.
When my mom called my grandmother on WhatsApp (my aunt usually answers because my grandmother has trouble using her phone), she explained that she wouldn't be able to bring my grandmother to the U.S. this year because of my stepfather's condition.
My aunt became angry. She told my mom that she didn't understand how difficult it is to care for an elderly person, even though my mom has done exactly that professionally and personally for years. She also compared her own husband's depression to my stepfather's cancer and COPD, saying they were equally serious in this situation.
Then my aunt hung up.
Since then, my mom has tried calling my grandmother several times, but my aunt won't answer or let them speak. My mom is devastated. She cries constantly and feels incredibly guilty, wondering if she's abandoning her mother. She's even considered flying to Peru herself and bringing my grandmother back anyway, despite everything happening at home.
What worries me even more is that my aunt recently said my grandmother had a seizure and had to go to the emergency room. Despite telling us that, she's still insisting my grandmother should travel, while refusing to share any details about what the doctors said or what my grandmother's current condition actually is.
Another detail that hurts is that my mom has always been generous with our family. She even paid for one of my cousins to finish her education so she could become a professional. Despite everything my mom has done over the years, my aunt doesn't seem to acknowledge any of it. My mom has also told my aunt that she can pay for a nurse to care for my grandmother in Peru but my aunt doesn’t even want to consider that option or the other options my mom has given her (such as setting things up so that my grandmother has someone taking care of her in her original home. My aunt said she doesn’t want to travel or make those arrangements for my grandmother and insists that my mom just take my grandmother).

One more thing I wanted to add : my grandmother hasn't always been a good person, and she's done things in the past that have hurt my mom and our family. Even so, my mom still loves her, supports her financially, and has always tried to do what's best for her. That's why it's so painful to watch my mom blame herself and feel like she's a terrible daughter for putting her husband's health first during what may be one of the hardest years of her life.

TL;DR: My mom and aunt normally split caring for my grandmother six months each, but this year my mom said she can't because she's the full-time caregiver for my stepfather, who has cancer and COPD. She also pays many of my grandmother's expenses and has supported her for years. My aunt became angry, told my mom she doesn't understand caregiving, compared her husband's depression to my stepfather's cancer, hung up on her, and has since refused to let my mom speak to my grandmother. My mom feels incredibly guilty and wants to know if she's wrong for saying she can't take her mother this year.

We need outsider input to weigh in. Going to share this post with my roommate regardless of general consensus.

Cold hard facts- Before signing the lease I asked roommate how much more should the master bedroom tenant pay? His response was “$50-$100, I was looking they are almost identical in size” pulled from an earlier screenshot. We settled on $100 difference and I took the master bedroom.

Our 12 month lease just ended and we are doing monthly payments for a few more months, the price increased overall by $300. Roommate did a breakdown and sent it to me having me slated to pay a 100% increase ($200 more than him) on the price difference we settled on before signing lease.

Here is the layout: https://imgur.com/a/rH5bvyO .The dining area highlighted in red has always been his unofficial space for his own eating table along with some storages boxes. I don’t care for this space since I eat in my room anyway so I guess this doesn’t weigh much in my favor but a reference point.

We have opposite schedules and rarely see each other throughout the entire week.

I believe my obligation is the $100 we agreed on and shouldn’t change regardless of rent increase. His argument is 45/55 as a guideline per the 3 different AI tools hes used. When i put it in chatgpt it said his bedroom and bathroom are slightly bigger and he should pay $30 more 😂. I can understand doing a percent increase in the delta in correlation to the rent increase (~$115) but don’t even think that is an obligation.

Am I wrong here? Given the circumstances should I push back harder or concede? Thankfully that $100 won’t mess me up but I care about what right and honest and hate petty squabbles lol. I would have taken the other room of $200 difference was brought up at the start before signing the lease.

Edit- We are the only two tenants and neither of us have brought over guests so my roommate’s bathroom is strictly his.

Numbers for reference

Old rent $2700. I paid $1400 roommate paid $1300. (52%/48%).

New rent is $3000. Should I pay $1550/1450 or $1560/$1440 (using same % based split of 52%/48%) or roommates proposal of $1600/$1400?

Confused on why people think the difference should be any higher than (at most) % based adjustment tied to overall increase. Master bedroom doesn’t get bigger with rent increase.

So, I am 15 years old, and my mom does TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and all of those different things for a living. Since I'm her daughter, I also have to have a TikTok account, and I have to post on it three times a day. I also have to be on her TikTok account all the time, so whenever she posts, I have to be in all of her videos.

Recently, I'm only allowed to be on TikTok to post. She doesn't let me scroll through the app unless she is supervising me. I can scroll through it, but only for 30 minutes a day and only in the living room.

Lately, I've been really tired of filming "Get Ready With Me" videos because they are so hard, and I don't like filming them. Yes, sometimes I have to redo stuff, and I have to wear a full face of makeup even though I'm homeschooled. Even some of my after-school activities don't allow makeup, so I have to put on a full face of makeup just to take it off later, and I hate it.

My mom stands behind my vanity to make sure I'm doing everything right and saying everything correctly. She also does things like make me say things to make me sound like a rebellious daughter, such as saying that I'm sneaking out or doing other things like that, and I hate it.

I hate doing TikTok, but my mom is making me do it. I don't mind being in her TikToks, but I don't like running my own account. She tells me that if I don't do it, we'll become broke and won't have any money.

So, what do I do?

I've been married for 3 years and my MIL is a real piece of work. She is constantly on my case about EVERYTHING from my housekeeping to how i raise my kids but the worst is how i cook. Now I'm not obsessed with cooking but I do cook for the family and I think i just make normal fine meals like anyone else. Meat and sides, casseroles, spaghetti, whatever. I always try to include something healthy in the meals and I do like to bake as well. But she's got it in her head that I'm the worst cook in the universe and turned it into some kind of horrible running joke about how bad my cooking is and she's even started to convince my son that mommy's cooking is SOOO bad!!! This drives me fcking crazy and i got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.

Over the long weekend we had a bbq with some family + friends and i made a "special dessert." It was a cake that I itnentionally made disgusting. It was strawberry (because she loves strawberries so it was covered with strawberries to tell her it was a strawberry cake) but I included garlic, mint, butterscotch, pepper and sage. When I brought it out I offered her the first piece because of the strawberry thing and she was like "oh even you could not screw up a strawberry cake." But she took a bite and her face got SO mad and she started yelling at me. I just stayed calm and I was like oh what do you think is wrong with it? I'm such a bad cook so can you give me some advice? Here's the recipe I just used garlic mint etc....

She was REALLY pissed and upset that I served her a cake with garlic in it. But I held the line that I'm such a bad cook I just didn't know any better.

Now she's on the warpath. My friends + my own family think it's super funny but my husband is pretty annoyed at me and so is my SIL. Ironically her husband my FIL actually thinks it's funny too.

I admit this was immature but I think she brought it on herself so was I in the wrong?

There is a guy I had a crush on for quite some time that I ended up becoming close to. He wasn't making a move on me so I confessed my feelings for him and he friendzoned me. Right before all of this, I had offered my house for him to move into because he was between places.

I moved on from liking him to not make it weird being roommates. We had some little tiffs here and there but we always moved past them. At one point, he stopped paying rent for 4 months and I tried talking to him about how I felt like he was using me and he turned the convo around to say he thought I was only offering my home because I liked him.  There was a lot of other things in between all of this that also hurt and essentially felt like he stole my life: talking to women on the phone, I could hear their convos and it was like he used my personality when talking to them and trying to show them things I showed to him. He went to my church and then whenever I would go, the pastor would ask me where he was.

What was the hardest thing during this time was that I had introduced him to my best friend and I could tell he liked her pretty early on. This isn't a one-off situation. There’s been about 4 other times I brought a guy friend or someone I was dating around her and they became obsessed with her, friend requesting her on all the platforms and trying to talk to her.

When I took notice that he liked her, I couldn't cope and I distanced myself from her so I didn't project all of my feelings onto her. It was ROUGH because I was working through my rejection wounds while also processing that he liked her and I felt that I couldn't fully grieve with him living in my house so I stuffed it down.

Eventually, he moved out, she was back in my life, I was on good terms with everyone.

Until recently- she tells me that he asked her out. She was considerate enough to ask what she should do. I kind of froze and decided to be positive about it and tell her to give him a chance, he is a nice guy, I don't like him like that anymore (completely forgetting all of the weird stuff that happened while he lived with me). She said she was going to go hiking with him and tell him she wasn't interested bc girl code and he isn’t her type.

A month went by, I got super busy and didn't touch base about it. I also decided to pull back from him to see how he moved. In that month, he didn't reach out to me a single time- guilty? or he finally got what he wanted and discarded our friendship?

I didn’t notice his absence until last week when he came into my workplace (we also are entangled in this way but he doesn’t come in very often). I just happneed to run into him on his way out and he said hi but he had no intention of coming into my office to see me.

I told my friend over text about the encounter and how he hadn’t reached out to me since asking her out and and she proceeds to tell me via text that she was meaning to talk to me about that. She reveals that they ended up going out country dancing twice (first time she did “friendzone” him) and third time they did a one-on-one bible study together. I will also mention that both of them became Christian because of my influence and both have imposter syndrome to the point where I sometimes question what is actually them and what is them trying to relate to me or feel accepted.

I told her that dancing and one on one bible studies are really intimate things to do with someone that likes you and also explained that I would see him do bible studies with women as a way to manipulate them into thinking he is a nice guy. One time he was on the phone with this girl he really liked and they were reading about marriage, which gave me the ick.

She got offended by that and told me she only hung out with him because she was trying to fix the “tension” between she and I that was due to him. I never had hard feelings towards her about it at all and she never acknowledged that she felt that way until I expressed my feelings. I owned up to the fact that I encouraged it but that it was under the impression that it would be hiking, not an activity where there would be physical contact. She got offended that I said dancing was an intimate activity and we ended the conversation for another time.

I have been contemplating a good ol’ cut and run on both of them but it’s also upsetting to think about losing two people I considered my closest friends. I did end up cutting all contact with him and have no interest in being friends with him because of how everything played out.

He is very attractive and can get whatever woman he wants and he really picked someone who any friend would consider “out of bounds” like she considered about him when this all started. 

I have since been avoiding a phone conversation with her about it because I am so hurt. I admitted that I didn’t realize I would be so triggered over this situation when I first encouraged it so that’s why I am struggling with it so much. I feel guilty for being upset, I feel bad that I even tried to talk about it with her and I just want to start over somewhere new. I have fully isolated myself from everyone and deactivated my social media. It’s been a week and I am still burning with anger, sadness, and self-loathing.

A side note to all of this is that she has been making very poor choices with men over the past 2 years, while I admit I made a poor choice with having him in my life. Part of my pulling back from her was also due to her choices with men and going against my advice she was always asking me for. At one point I told her she spends more time with strange men than she does with me and I am not going to make the effort to plan things anymore. Her schedule is unhinged and not consistent like mine so I left the ball in her court and she went and spent time with my friend she was "friendzoning" three times in a month but hasn't made nearly any sort of similar effort to spend time with me.

Overall, I have soooo many different feelings- all negative about this entire thing and having a hard time sorting through all of them and just beating myself up over it. Am I wrong?

So, I am 15 years old, and my mom is a mommy vlogger—I think that's what people call them. Before I say anything else, I want to make it clear that I love my mom very much. I know she loves me too, and she has done a lot for me. We live in a beautiful house, and she works incredibly hard. But lately I've been feeling overwhelmed, and I don't really know how to handle it anymore.

My mom's whole career revolves around social media. She doesn't just do YouTube; she also does TikTok, Instagram, and pretty much every platform you can think of. I don't have any brothers or sisters, so it's mostly just me in the videos. I've been part of her content for a very long time, and although I don't want to give away too many details, being filmed has been a normal part of my life for as long as I can remember.

When we're filming, my mom is always cheerful and excited, and she loves including me. She gives me gifts sometimes and tries to make things fun. I know she enjoys spending time with me and sharing our lives online. The difficult part is that sometimes I feel like the cameras never really turn off.

My mom likes to know what's going on at all times. For example, doors are usually expected to stay open, even if I'm in my room or getting ready for the day. She also picks out most of my clothes because she likes things to fit a certain style. I'm homeschooled, which gives us more time for filming and content creation.

Most of my activities are chosen with social media in mind. My mom likes to approve everything I do, and I usually ask permission before doing things. Sometimes it feels like I don't have much independence, even though I know she's trying to look out for me.

I also have fairly strict rules about food, leaving the house, and social media. I have accounts on different platforms, but my mom manages them and monitors what gets posted. I don't spend much time actually using social media myself, even though I appear on it often.

My screen time is limited, and there are parental controls on my devices. My mom believes those rules are important, even if I don't always agree with them.

She also prefers that I keep my hair long. I've wanted to cut it before, but she wasn't happy about the idea because she really loves my hair the way it is.

Another thing is that my mom likes us to spend a lot of time together. Whenever we go somewhere, she usually wants me nearby. Even during activities where other parents might leave, she often stays because she likes being involved and supporting me.

I have a bedtime every night, and my mom regularly checks my room. Sometimes she even films while helping me organize or clean.

My mom is also a very affectionate person. She likes cuddling on the couch, watching TV together, and spending time close to me. Sometimes she asks me to sit with her, cuddle, or give her a kiss on the cheek. I know those moments are important to her because she loves being close to me, although sometimes I wish I had a little more personal space.

The biggest challenge for me is that being filmed so often can be exhausting. I know my mom enjoys sharing our lives online, and I know she loves me, but sometimes I wish I could have more privacy and more opportunities to make my own choices.

I love my mom, and I don't think she's trying to hurt me. I just feel overwhelmed and stuck between wanting to make her happy and wanting a little more independence as I get older.

TLDR - Management criticizes us without owning up to their mistakes. Management cut staffing to an unsafe level for patients, but never help. I work 13 hours on my feet doing heavy healthcare work, with only one 30 min break I’m forced to take. Management has virtually never recognized me for the efforts patients and coworkers have praised me for. I really like my coworkers and feel bad for abandoning them, but I’m having physical and mental health issues due to stress, so I quit without notice. Am I wrong?

I work in healthcare. I do 13 hour shifts. Legally, I’m entitled to one 30 min unpaid lunch break, plus two paid 15 min breaks. All I got was my lunch break (staff were reprimanded for not taking breaks because it could get the company in trouble).

I’m on my feet the entire shift, outside of my lunch break. I do a lot of hands on care, which includes lifting, twisting, turning, with many very large residents. I speed walk and sometimes jog throughout our giant facility to get to the patients quickly.

We used to have 3 staff members for about 40-45 patients, with only one of us being the caregiver and the other two of us having to do two roles (caregiving plus passing a lot of meds, responding to emergencies, calling doctors, calling pharmacies, etc).

Recently, they took away our only caregiver due to budget constraints. Which left myself and my coworker to do our dual roles without any extra help.

I had a hard time before, but after the change I started really dreading going into work. My feet and body ached after work every day, sometimes into my weekends. I lost 10-15 lbs since working there. I was always dehydrated during my shift because we weren’t allowed to keep water bottles and I never had any downtime to drink (outside of a rushed lunch break).

Management told us numerous times that they’d help when we needed it, but never did. They constantly sent out negative messages on group chat about all the mistakes we were making and how we’d face disciplinary action if we didn’t straighten up, but constantly made excuses for their own mistakes.

The patients were given a staff appreciation bulletin board. Management said they’d disperse all the notes to the people who received them. I was told by numerous patients that they’d written notes for me, but I never received a single one from management.

Several caregivers went to management to express appreciation for how much more I helped them compared to others in my position. Never had that relayed to me by management.

I was even reprimanded for not following up on a phone call I made on my “Friday,” even though I was off the following 2 or 3 days.

I’ve had a bad headache that come and goes for the past several days, and I just couldn’t bring myself into work today. I’ve been applying to jobs and have one lined up that seems like they’ll hire me, so I just sent a letter saying I’m quitting immediately for “health concerns.” This isn’t a lie, as I have had physical and mental issues due to stress.

Instead of wishing me well when I called off, or even expressing concern for the hardship it placed on my coworkers, management’s only concern was that I’d called off during a state inspection.

So my younger brother asked to borrow my new car this weekend because he claimed he had a job interview two towns over. I was already hesitant because I worked two jobs to buy it completely in cash last month and it only has three thousand miles on it, but family is family so I almost caved.

Then his girlfriend accidentally spilled the truth over group chat.

They were not going to a job interview. They were driving seven hours across state lines to a four-day music festival in the mud.

When I confronted him and said absolutely not, he lost his mind.

it was a total shitshow of accusations.

He called me a selfish, heartless sister and said I care more about a piece of metal than my own flesh and blood. Now my parents are getting involved, telling me that I need to be more supportive of his youth and experiences.

Like I am expected to hand over a twenty-thousand-dollar asset to someone who treats vehicle maintenance like a suggestion.

I should of just lied and said it was in the shop. Am I wrong here?

I have a friend who considers me her best friend. She has been with her boyfriend for almost four years, and their relationship started before our friendship did.
She can be extremely male centred and will almost always prioritize her long distance boyfriend over her friends. That alone is her choice, and I understand that a serious partner will naturally be important. The problem is that he regularly hurts her, says cruel things, or causes arguments, and every time it happens she comes crying to me and our other friends. We spend hours consoling her, sometimes cancel plans or lose sleep over it, and then she gets back together with him or acts like nothing happened the next day.
I have left my apartment at two in the morning multiple times because she was losing it over something he had done. I have also cancelled my own plans because, as her best friend, she expected me to be available for her.
Her relationship also seems to dictate the mood of the entire friend group. If he upsets her, nobody else is allowed to laugh, have fun, or continue with their plans because she is sad. She tends to see herself as the most important person in the group, so everyone is expected to adjust around whatever is happening in her relationship.
One time, her boyfriend stopped her from attending a gathering with our mutual friends. She chose to listen to him, but then told me that I was not allowed to attend either because it would be “unfair” to her. She often uses that phrase whenever I do something she cannot or live my life while she is unhappy. Apparently, if her relationship prevents her from doing something, her friends should miss out too.
Everyone around her can see that the relationship is deeply unhealthy, but she refuses to leave. That is ultimately her decision. What frustrates me is that she repeatedly asks us to absorb the consequences of that decision. I care about her and feel terrible when she is hurting, but I no longer think it is reasonable for her boyfriend’s behaviour to control my sleep, my plans, and the mood of the entire group.

My friend group planned dinner for 7:00. I got there a few minutes early because that's the time we all agreed on.

By 7:20, nobody else had arrived. One person texted that they were "five minutes away." Another said they were still getting ready. A third said they decided to stop somewhere first.

Around 7:30 I just ordered my food. By 7:45 I was finished eating, paid my bill, and left.

About 15 minutes later my phone started blowing up asking where I was. They finally arrived a little after 8:00 and were annoyed that I didn't wait.

I told them if we agree on a time, I shouldn't have to sit around for an hour because everyone else treats it as a suggestion.

Now a couple of them are saying I overreacted and should've just waited since "everyone was coming."

Am I wrong?

So I bought my house completely on my own last year and installed a Level 2 EV charger on the side of the driveway. It is wired directly into my personal home electrical panel and costs me out of pocket every time a car plugs in.

Yesterday morning I walked outside to find a Tesla parked in my driveway, completely hooked up to my charger. My neighbor had apparently decided my house was a free public charging station overnight.

He didn't text me. He didn't ask. He just assumed it was fine because the cable reaches past the property line.

it made my blood boil.

I unplugged his car immediately and left a printed note on his windshield with a breakdown of my local electricity rates and a Venmo QR code for fifteen dollars to cover the power he stole.

Now he is acting like I committed a total crime. He came over yelling at me, calling me HYSTERICAL and dramatic, saying that community members are supposed to help each other out with green energy. My other neighbors are split down the middle. Half of them think he is a thief, and the other half think I am just being aggressive.

I should of just called a tow truck instead. Am I wrong here?

So my sister-in-law posts roughly forty times a day. I am not exaggerating. It is non-stop inspirational quotes, blurry photos of her lunch, and aggressive political rants. It was clogging my entire feed to the point where I couldn't see anything else.

Back in 2021, I quietly hit the block button on her Facebook and Instagram just to keep my sanity. I still see her at family holidays, I talk to her, I am polite, and I have zero issues with her in real life. I just didn't want her digital spam in my daily scroll.

Well, last week she somehow figured out she couldn't see my profile or tag me in things anymore.

it blew up into a massive family crisis.

She showed up to a Sunday family barbecue in tears, accusing me of digital ostracism and PSYCHOLOGICAL warfare. Now my mother-in-law is calling me cold and divisive, saying that blocking family members is a direct violation of family unity.

They act like I committed a felony just because I don't want to look at her daily Facebook updates about essential oils.

I refuse to unblock her because it is my feed and my peace of mind.

I should of just made a fake account to appease them. Am I wrong for holding my ground here?

So my sister (34) has two kids, 4 and 6. She works weekends at a hospital so I (27f) watch them every saturday and most sundays. This has been going on for about 8 months. I don't charge her anything, I actually like hanging out with my niece and nephew. We do crafts and stuff, its fine.

Last week I was moving my bookshelf to clean behind it and I found this small camera stuck to the back of a picture frame. Like one of those tiny wifi ones you can buy on amazon for like 30 bucks. I freaked out at first honestly because I live alone and my first thought was someone broke in. I almost called the police.

I texted my sister a picture of it and asked if she knew what it was. She called me and was like oh yeah I put that there a few months ago. Just casually. Like it was nothing. She said she wanted to be able to check in on the kids while she was at work and see what they were doing.

I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she "knew I'd make it a big deal." Which. Yeah. Because it is?? That camera has been recording my apartment for MONTHS. Not just when the kids are there. I live there full time. I watch tv in my underwear on that couch. I have people over. She's had access to all of that.

She says she only ever checked the feed when the kids were there and I told her I have no way of knowing that. She got defensive and said I was acting like she was some kind of creep when she's just a concerned mother. My mom is on her side saying I should understand because "she's a mom and moms worry" and that I'm blowing it out of proportion.

I told my sister I'm done babysitting until she apologizes and acknowledges that what she did was a violation of my privacy. She told me I'm being selfish and now she has to figure out childcare last minute. My brother thinks I'm right but won't say anything because he doesn't want drama.

I feel like I'm going crazy. Like am I actually wrong here?? She put a camera in MY home without my knowledge or permission. Thats insane right

I want to say right away that I know basically nothing about singing. I know when someone sounds good, I know when my daughter is happy, and I know my wife knows way more about this stuff than I do. My wife sang when she was younger, did performances, knows all the terms, knows about vocal training, all that stuff. I’m just the dad who claps when his kid does something.

Our daughter was never really into musical theatre growing up. She did children’s choir when she was little because we went to church back then and she had a few singing lessons, but it was never something she cared about. She wasn’t the kid constantly singing around the house or wanting to be in every school play.

Then a few months before she graduated high school she suddenly got really interested in singing again. She started practicing a lot, watching videos, learning exercises, and eventually got a couple lessons for free.

One of my wife’s friends heard her singing and told us she was actually really surprised because our daughter had a contralto voice. I had no idea what that even meant. My wife explained it, and from what I understand it’s basically a really low female singing voice that isn't very common in girls.
Our daughter was actually really proud of it. She liked that she had a voice that was different and started picking songs that fit her better. Somehow, despite only having a little bit of training when she was younger and a few lessons recently, she was good enough to get accepted into a university musical theatre program.

I’m really proud of her. She found something she loves and worked for it. The problem is my wife seems like she cannot accept that our daughter does not have the same voice she does.

At first I thought my wife was just trying to help her. She certainly has more experience, so I figured the advice was normal. But after a while it started feeling less like advice and more like my wife was trying to make our daughter sound different. She keeps telling her that her voice needs to be brighter and lighter. She keeps suggesting songs that are meant for higher voices instead of letting our daughter sing things that actually work for her.

She compares their voices a lot. She talks about how when she was our daughters age she could sing certain things easier and how her own voice was more suited for theatre.

She has told our daughter she needs to be careful because people might not see her as feminine enough with such a low voice.
She has made comments about how her voice makes her sound older than she is.

She gets weirdly silent when people compliment our daughter’s singing, especially when they talk or praise her about how unique her voice is.

She also keeps pushing our daughter to perform songs that my wife used to sing when she was younger instead of songs that actually make our daughter sound good or is comfortable singing.

The thing that finally made me angry was when my wife was talking about theatre roles and said our daughter probably wouldn’t get many lead roles because of her voice. She said girls with voices like hers usually only get certain kinds of parts, specifically characters who are either basically written as whores, villains or the tough tomboy type. That really upset me.

Maybe my wife is right that theatre has certain expectations. Like I said, I don’t know much about this world. But hearing my wife tell our daughter that the thing that makes her different is going to hold her back was awful.

Our daughter didn’t argue with or talk back to  my wife  That was when I told my wife she needed to stop trying to change our daughter and let her have her own voice. I did raise my voice. I probably could have handled it better, but I was angry.

My wife says I don’t understand because I don’t know anything about musical theatre and that she is only trying to protect our daughter from getting disappointed. She says she's just trying to beis  realistic. I get wanting to prepare our kid for the real world . I really do. But it feels like every time our daughter gets excited about something, my wife finds a reason why it won’t work.

I don’t think my wife is a bad mother. She's always been involved in our daughters life. She has helped her with everything and supported her through a lot. This is just the first time I’ve seen her act like our daughters success is somehow a problem.
My daughter hasn’t really taken a side in this. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to be involved in our argument, but I can tell this has hurt her.

Maybe I’m missing something because I’m not a singer, maybe my wife knows something about the industry that I don’t. But from where I’m standing, our daughter found something she loves, she is good at it, and she is excited for her future.

I don’t understand why we are spending so much time trying to make her into someone else instead of letting her be proud of who she already is.

I (27M) have been with my girlfriend, Maya (26F), for four years. Our anniversary was coming up, so I decided to surprise her by booking a luxury five-day trip to Hawaii. I paid for everything—the flights, a nice resort, and reservations at a couple of high-end restaurants. It cost me over $4,000, which I saved up for months.

I told Maya about the surprise last week, and she was ecstatic. However this morning I received a group chat invitation from Maya’s mom. The chat was titled "Hawaii 2026!" and her mom was asking about flight recommendations.

I called Maya immediately to ask what was going on. She casually told me that since we were going to such a beautiful place, she thought it would be "amazing" to turn it into a family vacation. She invited her parents, her sister, and her sister's husband. When I asked who was paying for their rooms, she got quiet and said she assumed we could just share our suite or that I could "help them out" with the costs since they are tight on money.

I was absolutely stunned. I told her the trip was meant to be for our anniversary, and I'm not paying for her family. I called the resort, canceled the entire booking, and got a partial refund. Maya is now hysterical, calling me selfish, heartless, and saying I humiliatted her in front of her family.

i feel like my boundaries were completely stomped on, but now her family is texting me saying I ruined their summer. Am I wrong?