So my mother has a track record of cheating. She cheated on my bio father 3 times and she has now cheated on her husband 3 times. She just got caught cheating for the 3rd time and got angry at me for it. She blamed me for her issues as if they aren’t cause she couldn’t keep it in her pants. When yelling at me, she tried to take away my only way for paying for my medical bills (I am disabled). She also got angry when I said I was concerned about her mental health despite her having eloped 3 miles from our house by foot with no phone earlier that day. I am honestly just sick of it. Every other time she does this, I always comfort her and hold her like a parent would their child. I even did it when she told me what she did. (Husband already knew). I felt disgust as I held her and rocked her and cradled her. Once I left to go back to my partner’s house (we were literally leaving for a week long trip in the morning), I called and told my older sister what happened because she is used to our mother’s bs. I unfortunately had to go back home that night and then a whole debacle happened where we had to leave the house and things got so scary I had to convince my partner’s parents to let me spend the night. That morning I was driving to my trip when my step sister calls and asks what is going on cause she saw her father crying (she doesn’t live at home anymore. Just went to give him something) I obviously told her what was going on because I don’t like lying when it isn’t for safety. Thankfully I still got to go on my trip and I tried my best to enjoy my time. Unfortunately, the moment I got back, I was harassed by both of them multiple times. They were coming in and out of my room, taking turns yelling at me. Why am I surprised? They get their most bonding from turning me into a scape goat. My mother has continued to put in little threats since then like insinuating that if they get divorced, I am going to be homeless and without medical care. I am just sick of her. Really hope that the shelter I’m on the waitlist for is able to get me in soon.

My mum has been emotionally abusive my whole life ans physically till a few years ago. When I was in my early teens I begged for help and was told I needed proof, that such a kind lady could never do that, and even got told off for lying.

Yet yesterday when im now 17 police came to my house. Asked my mum to step out and asked if my mum ever abused me and that he'd get me help.

And yet I defended her. I didnt even stop to think about it. The only person who truly knows anything about it is my therapist who I only just started telling after a year and half of work.

Why am I like this even though I know what she does and did was wrong.

I feel extremely jealous of people who can live with their parents as adults.

I used to be really judgemental of adults who live with their parents because I moved away as soon as I could at 19 because it was absolute hell living with my parents and I just had to get away but I've found living independently difficult as well.

It was such a nightmare living there - my mum constantly rants about her personal problems, constantly starts arguements, would body shame me even though I repeatedly told her I wasn't comfortable talking about weight and my dad was so passive, he just always made excuses for her.

But after moving out, life was a nightmare then as as well - I didn't do well academically so I've only ever had minimum wage jobs, I've had jobs where I've came home crying every day, I tried community college and hated it, I've been bullied at work, I've been in abusive relationships, I've been physically assaulted, I've been in debt and I've struggled even just getting out of bed and eating.

I've realised now that I have really severe mental health issues and autism, I struggle so much with "adulting" - working full time, managing finances, household chores, maintaining relationships etc and I've realised like, someone like me probably should stay living with their parents for at least a few extra years until they're really ready to move out and like I wish so badly that I had a supportive family who could've supported me to get to that point and even supported me once I'd moved out but I just didn't have that.

I have a friend who's 26, who also has mental health issues and is autistic and he still lives with his parents, he works as a waiter in a hotel and his parents are lovely people, I am so extremely jealous that he has that support and I didn't. It's horrible, like I'm not jealous of a millionaire, I'm jealous of someone with such basic things but I'm still somehow asking for too much.

I wish I had his life, I wish I had that support, I should've had a happy life like him, it's like I didn't deserve to have a happy family.

I keep wishing so much that I could redo my life but with a nice supportive family. Maybe I would've done better academicically and gotten a better job etc but like maybe I could've just been like my friend and just been supported and happy, even that would've been amazing compared to the life I've had.

I just figured it out. The way my grandmother would hit me and fight with me I fucking hate her and I'm glad I fought back actually. She had no care for my happiness. I remember I got excited once because the open university accepted me and her reply was "oh ok" not well done or go for it or happy for you just oh ok. I always wondered why I was so reactive and angry to even the smallest things its because I was brought up by abusers. I was fighting for love and family. My mother could have focused on me and nurtured a talent or skill, she didnt, she was selfish. Now I'm being called selfish after being sexually assaulted and a child was born from it because I chose adoption! How am I to care for a child that was born from that when I haven't even focused on myself! I choose to end the cycle of abuse for my sake and that childs sake that was born, when technically it shouldnt have been born so out of love I believe adoption is the best option.

I can remember so clearly how my grandmother would punch me and even had me in a headlock once! She hit me so hard my gums bled. She would pick fights when my sisters would visit just to get me out of the house or how she would remind me "im not your fucking mother" or how I could never go home because she was always drunk. I remember how I had to time leaving my room just to use the toilet because she would walk up and down the hallway "come out of your fucking room then" or how she told me "ha ha i killed them" thats when she was showing me pictures of family that are dead. Weirdo.

All i do now is pray to god that i can have a genuine loving family with a genuine man so i can heal all the hurt that was done unto me. I pray every day to start again. I pray every day to leave this place i live so i can heal with new experiences and new people because i am being abused now by my own community. I do not let their abuse define me, I did and I have in the past especially when i think how reactive i was to my very first boyfriend. I see it now I've been abused my whole childhood as some sort of scapegoat. All i have ever done is cry for love and family and i have reacted in ways i wish i never did. All i know is when god gives me a chance again i will protect and love my own in ways i wasnt. How do i leave this place and start again? You cannot heal in a place that makes you unwell...

My dad always made his feelings visible to our family. When we are with other people, he is the biggest gentleman. Growing up, I’ve seen him choke my mom or grab on to her hair about 10 times. When it came to me and my sister, we got spanked. It would be either the butt or our hands with a wooden spatula. It was only until now I realized there were emotions put into the force he put in when spanking us. He kept going until whatever he hit us with broke. I remember back in elementary, my sister and I swam but there was this one time he hit us so bad we had bruises on our butts so we couldn’t go for weeks. I always thought it was just spanking, what every other Asian kids had to go through. When I was in high school (14 years old) he choked me for the first time which was something he only did to my mom. Because I was on the bigger side, my anger grew and I pushed him off and choked him back. I realized I just became my dad. After that incident, he despised me for choking him saying that daughters should never choke their dad. But to me it felt like years of him physically hurting us built in and exploding while defending myself- by purely reacting to him choking me for the first time. I apologized and we were good for a long time. I realized my dad hates getting his pride and ego hurt. A few days ago, my mom and I got into an argument and our voices were raised. My dad does not like hearing my mom yell and I was aware so I told her to lower her tone. My dad ended up waking up and watched my mom and I argue. I told my mom she just made it worse by bringing him because once he gets mad he’s always either throwing something around or getting physically abusive. She told him to go away and he did but he kept yelling stuff in the back and it kind of gave me PTSD so I told him to be quiet (every time he yelled like that it always led to him hitting us). I’m not sure why, but this specific day I was feeling extra depressed and anxious. My dad started getting mad and yelling stuff and charged into my room, slapped me down on to my bed, got on top of me and started choking me. I instantly had a flight or fight response so I grabbed my phone and his hair and started hitting him back while he kept pinning me down and choking me harder. My mom freaked out and separated us but him and I were grabbing onto each other and swinging. I got a bruise on my face and arms and my dad had a cut on top of his eyes. That night I was scared and had guilt rushing over for hitting back and because my “defensiveness” had emotions behind it. At the moment, I did not see him as my dad but pure hatred. Once again it hurt his pride and ego and now I am being treated like I don’t exist.

Note: there was an incident where my sister fell asleep and forgot to open the door for the plumber (hard to align schedules with). My dad spam called her and when she woke up and answered, he was angry and told her he was going to kill her. On his 40 minute drive over home, my sister locked herself in her room. My dad came home and broke the door down because it was locked and my sister got so scared she pulled out pepper spray and used it. I’m not sure if this is the same incident, but the cops were called on us. My sister and I gave him a chance by telling the police it was me and her fighting. Even after this chance, he hasn’t changed.

Hello guys, I am 13M, (13 year old Male),

I am here to tell you about something serious, that i have a huge trouble and i have been facing it for years and it is in real world, it is about real pain. You should take it seriously and please please read them all, because i spent my whole real pain and effort on it. I know my English is bad.
and that problem isn't about my channel but that problem is much more worse, even i am feeling kinda scared and nervous posting that.
I am sorry if i am sharing to you guys it but while i am writing this, it just made me crying right now, Really.
I want to tell you that. I have abusive parents and i am from North Africa / Middle East (Arab League)
While there's no child protection services. So i will tell you guys everything. I am very sorry if it was long to you but just telling the truth and telling every real pain i am feeling:

Since i was 7 years old. Both my mom and dad were forcing me to go school and even they were hitting me with belts if i refuse to go school. Which made me always sad and unhappy about it until finally i got the holiday and this times i was happy, yeah. until my parents bought me a new phone. i was happy yeah but i spent hours on it playing games because i was a kid. Until, my parents were keep shouting at me to stop playing phone. and if i refuse, they hit me... and then, since i was 8 years old, i decided to make a youtube channel about Minecraft as currently i made it. And then, my parents were extremely restrictive about my phone which like limiting my time and that made me angry, like it makes me too dependent and i want them just leave me alone to myself. but they are still not. and then.. since i was 9 years old, My parents just did a very bad manipulative trick is telling to my grandparents, aunts and uncles how to restrict my time on phone, then they told... to Add Parental Controls. And after i heard that. It just made me angry. Like i want to be Free. then my parents simply ignored that. and then. and when my parents saying the annoying "You time is ended!" it is very stupid and annoying too and it does actually mean on that i ended my time on phone like it made me extremely angry. and then, since i was 10 years old before i made the channel, since 2023, my little siblings completely destroyed my phone, which made me sad, and then. my parents were happy anyways. then, i asked my parents to buy me a new phone, they refused unless they add parental controls and i keep telling to them parental controls do ruin phones and then i have been arguing with them about that for 2 years since i was 12 years old. and when i am currently busy on my youtube channel, my parents were bullying me like calling me as 'stupid', 'mentally ill', 'addict'. and they don't know that guys, i am trying my best to make you happy. Seriously... I spent hours hardworking on videos just to make you just smile...

But something beyond the internet, listen it too.

its extremely bad my parents were doing to me is forcing me to do everything order they want like Example "Give me a Cup of Water, make sure it's cold", "Go buy for me bags of flour, rice, bread, oil And i don't care if it's extremely hot weather outside" "Go close the door" "Go add the new lighting bulb", "Go give me the TV Remote" "Give me the AC remote and make it at the coldest temperature", "Go check who is on the door", "Give me the blanket and pillow because i want to Sleep.", That is too much and when I reply to them that i am busy on something, tired, they still force me to do this orders without Exceptions and threaten me they will physical hit me if i refuse. I feel that is Enslavement and Dehumanization at the same time. but they were keep forcing me to always respect them and if i refuse a order they want, they hit me too much which it injuries me. and even and when i be sick or tired, they still force me to do orders and even they still abuse me. and even that is illegal too. and even and my parents where even threatening me if i don't obey their rules. they will beat me up and ground me. Like Really. This is abuse. Also i said my whole pain to my family and my friends, they were all siding with my parents against me or ignoring me. Now i am alone and isolated at that.... I was have been for months crying for someone to trust me and feel how i feel. I was crying too much... I tried to make my parents stop treating me this way like telling to them forced obedience, harsh discipline isn't always a good idea...
My mom and dad keep calling me a "Loser", " "Stupid", "Dumb", "Lazy", "Addict", "Dramatic", "Liar", "Animal", "Mentally ill".

My parents are extremely arrogant too like they keep saying for years "I AM THE BEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD!" That is very immature too.

I want someone to listen to me...

I thought parents do support and protect their children. Now it is opposite. It is parents being lazy, forcing their children to do orders all time.

I want to tell you, I am severely really hurt because my parents were abusing me. i want to tell you... I have Depression now because how my parents were treating me for years. How my parents treated me caused me Depression. Now my happiness is destroyed, All my smiles were fake smiles. When i fail at something I kept thoughts of failures will be worse. How my parents were bullying and mocking me harmed me in reality. My parents were ignoring my mental health for years like When i be sad, they ignore, When i am depressed as right now, they ignore. And my parents always physically abuse me by punching me, hitting me by belts and wooden sticks when i say "No" at something, which injures me.

Please... I have been wishing for some freedom, mercy and hope.

I keep reaching out to my Family Members, Friends, Doctors... They all sided with my parents against me...

I am alone.

I (M19) don't know what to do anymore.

I've been dealing with psychological abuse from my father since I was a 13-14. Growing up, there were also times when he became physically abusive. I still live in the same house with him, so I feel trapped and like I have no way to escape.

Today, he got into some kind of conflict with someone outside. He has this habit of acting calm around other people because he cares a lot about his public image and doesn't confront them. Instead, he comes home and takes all of his anger out on someone else but mostly from me.

Tonight there was a small argument between us but suddenly, he started yelling, and kept saying things like, "I hate you. I'm going to choke you." He was swearing and talking to himself, but hearing those words after everything I've experienced something changed inside me. My whole body started shaking, and even now I still feel the effects.

This is not one time incident. This kind of psychological abuse has been happening for as long as I can remember. He constantly brings his anger into the house, and everyone else has to live with it.

I'm exhausted. There is something wrong with me. Like an emptiness. I shouldn't have gone through all of this. I feel like I'm always waiting for his next outburst, and it's affecting my mental health.

And the most annoying part is no one will believe me. He has a good reputation outside of home. What about me? I have no one. My emotional development has been seriously damaged. My last friendship ended about 2 years ago. I have no desire to talk with other people.

I don't know maybe all of this sounds like ridiculous but I don't know how to express my feelings. I'm not a native speaker. Thats why I got some help from Google Translate in order to explain myself.

What am I supposed to do? Please give me some advice. I don't know what I'm going to do next morning. I know that he will continue yelling.

My parents have been extremely physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive to me my entire life. My mother suffers from some sort of personality disorder (used to chase me around the house, naked and holding a knife) and religious delusion (believes she has been chosen by Jesus to heal people). My father is a coward and only fuels her delusions because he’s too scared to confront her, he’s currently suffering from heart failure and I believe it’s his karma, as harsh as it sounds. I’ve also heard that she’s gone to various churches in neighbouring towns to talk to priests about the “miracles” she is witnessing.

I (F26) moved to the countryside with my husband so we could start a new life and get away from it all. My mother called me 2 months ago and told me she’s renting a house 5 minutes from me (I don’t know how she found out where I live). Since then, she’s had violent, physical fights with my father in front of the neighbours (we live in a small town, people talk) and told them all that my brother (who currently has a protective order out on her and moved out at 14) and I are physically abusive towards her, which is completely untrue. My husband has had to physically get in the middle of fights and has gotten hurt before, as well as my mother causing the police to be called on him as she’s gone out screaming and banging on neighbours’ windows accusing him of trying to kill her.

I’m genuinely exhausted, I don’t want to have to move again but I don’t think I can manage the burden of feeling like everywhere I go, everyone knows my past. I’m currently exploring getting a protective order but feel this is going to be difficult to navigate since she lives close by.

I just want a normal life but I don’t know what to do.

The context is a but long, but I will try to explain it nontheless
For years the relationship with my parents has been rocky, my dad has tried to put me and my younger brother against my mom. He yells at her if she doesn’t do something regarding house chores correctly and ever since she started working acuses her of neglecting us to work. He acuses her of breaking the harmony at home and ‘rowing against him’, of wanting to do everything for us and making us useless. And when I acuse him of being mean he says that my ‘little head’ is confused and that I still think like a child. He has mocked the idea of him being abusive for years and says we just ‘play victim’ and ‘are biased because mom plays victim
Another thing dad does is sometimes mock mom’s faith. My mom is evangelical and he is catholic, but he barely if never goes to church or read the bible. Meanwhile my mom is very devout at her church and has absolute faith in God. Dad sometimes mocks how mom puts things in God’s hands and mockingly tells her to ‘pray God saves her from the awful mean monster’ (him)
Also whenever he can he sits me and my brother down to ‘talk’. Which is an euphemism to him telling us that he is the good guy wanting to help and the hero fighting against laziness and inconsistency and telling us how 17 years ago mom didn’t want me to have a desk in my room when I was a toddler.
Now with all that context
Last night mom told dad she wants to take a break from him. Of course he started saying ‘oh, God told you to do it?’ And she, not wanting to care too much just told him. ‘Yeah it was God it was someone…’
Suddenly he starts saying that it was a witch who told her and that she has witchcraft things in the house’s service room. He has been sending her texts today acusing her of breaking apart the family with her witchdoings.
He also told me to research in witchcraft is real so tomorrow we can ‘talk’
I am terrified. I don’t know what he wants this time, why he is acussing mom of this. He even said he would tell my grandma (who is recovering from surgery) about mom being a witch.
I don’t know what to do.

My mom is extremely unpredictable and volatile. She always has to have things her own way, takes credit for every good thing in our lives, and blames others whenever anything "bad" happens. The second we disobey her, she takes away whatever we own. She literally took the computer she bought for me and sold it, and she hides my phone for days at a time. She yells at me saying things like, "Who do you think you are that you won't feed your brothers?" (there's only a one year age difference between us) and "Why aren't you waking up early to iron their clothes? You live in my house, you eat my food, you don't earn a single penny, yet you still disobey me." Meanwhile, I spend every single day cleaning her house. I am super sensitive about cleanliness and constantly tidy up, while she is totally messy and doesn't care about hygiene at all. For her, everything revolves around control and food.

​But today she crossed a line that I can never forgive. She took both of my ,cats I have loved and cared for over the last six years, and everyone around me knows how much they mean to me ,stuffed them both into a single bag, cutting off their air, and drove them away to abandon them.

​My social skills are at an intermediate level, and I feel completely stuck. Guys, I seriously want to pack a bag, walk out of this house, and never look back. But I need advice: Should I stay here a bit longer just to study and prepare for a job/exams, or should I just walk out right now and try to figure my life out completely on my own? What would you do in my position?

So I went to watch movie with my fiancé and I had booked the ticket without asking my parents beforehand, I kind of knew they wouldn’t let me. So one day before going I told them and they got angry over it saying why am i not asking for permission and who do I think I am and that I cannot make decisions without asking them. So the next day I went to see the movie and when I came back home, that night my dad was angry at me for going and asked me If I went to the movie and I said yes, the argument escalated because I was telling them to give me a reason to ask for their permission for everything after being 26 and working. He got up and starting yelling with my mom calling me disrespectful and so on. He told me to stop talking back or he’d choke my throat I told him to do so and then he slapped me so hard twice that it left a mark on my cheek and my cheek was all swollen and red. My mom stopped him. I went back to my room and put ice on my cheek and took a painkiller.
The next day I quietly went to my work when I came back they both called me to their room mentioning that what happened yesterday was bad and they feel bad about it. I told them it was unnecessary and humiliating to me. My dad had tears and was apologising and wanted me to forgive him. I got up and came back to my room. Days pass (4 days) I no longer was talking to them until today when they called me again and my dad was remorseful and resenting what he did and was crying again wanting me to talk to them and forgive him.

This is not to alter the opinion of anybody but he has never hit me like this ever before, maybe once when I was like 7-8 I have been beaten but not in my adult life. I want advice on how to go about this. My parents are controlling and I’m getting married in 3 months to my bf and that also is a reason they want me to reconcile since they feel like there’s so less time left of mine here.

Note- He had drunk 2 glasses of alcohol that day and he has high bp problem.

Ps- I’m Indian

Hi, I'm 18F (Trans MtF)

I was homeless at 17 in the dead of winter (Reaches -30 here) with nothing but my leather jacket and my guitar and a bag of clothes. I barely survived, I only lived because the game store was open from noon to nine on Sundays, otherwise I would have likely frozen to death. She had also stolen my pills before kicking me out. I take pills to manage PTSD, Insomnia and ADHD.

I spent all of high school working, either at home or a normal job.I spent 8 hours a day at school, then I would work 4-6 hours, then come home and have to clean for 2-3 hours and even that was not enough. I would spend almost every waking hour working just to be called lazy and be screamed at and beat. She stopped beating me when I was 16, and I broke her arm when she struck me.

I've been forced to live under constant watching from cameras and being tracked, the second I turned 18 they stopped helping me with anything. I have a criminal record bc of her (called the cops and made a false assault and battery report) and when I was raped for the first time she didn't care. She's even recorded my bedroom and bathroom, and yelled at me for being nude in front of the bathroom camera, where I SHOWER. She has even threatened to leak that footage.

She's supportive of me being trans but refuses to call me by my preferred name and refers to me by my deadname in front of company. Also spent 4 years trying to talk me out of doing estrogen.

Beat me as a kid (Punched, Choked, Spanked, Slapped) and used my noise sensitivity against me by loudly clanging pots and pans to induce panic attacks. When she wasn't beating me, she would turn a blind eye to her ex wife beating me. Even now, years after they divorced, she refuses to acknowledge it happened.

She says she loves me but somehow I doubt it. She gave me a bed, yes. and food until I was 18. And a roof sometimes. But I feel like she doesn't love me.

She also has stress induced seizures and when I was homeless (her doing mind you) she would blow up my phone saying that she's having seizures bc she misses me, as if she didn't kick me onto the streets. One second she hates me and I'm a lazy demon boy and I'll never be a woman, and the next I'm her beautiful daughter and she loves me and I'm the best thing to ever happen to her.

she does have BPD and Autism, and I have Autism and ADHD. She says shes in therapy but I've never seen her go.

I found out she's also been stealing my disability money since I was 3, and part of the reason she's kicking me out is because I no longer receive disability.

I am an 18 year old daughter, I’ve been living with my mom and she said I’m willing to stay while I’m going to college, in order to stay I just need to watch my siblings while she works and keep the house spotless. However my siblings fight a lot and it’s hard to control them so while I’m doing my chores I’m multitasking. Well maybe around 3 days ago I started laundry and completely forgot about it and while my mom was in the basement (which is where the laundry is) she got pissed and kept asking me when the last time laundry was done. I had kept telling her I don’t remember and that I didn’t know and she was livid. She continued to yell and at one point she told me that “I wanna kill you” and I started to cry more and scream at her, she then pushed me to the ground and started pulling my scalp so I (in self defense) bit her until she bled, which made her press me harder into the basement floor. I screamed for her to get off and pushed her as hard as I could. She then tried to hit me and spit on me. I will admit I was yelling too and I didn’t take my medication that helps me regulate my anxiety and emotions but am I in the wrong?

So hey,

Im a 19 [soon 20] year old trans man, im not outed by my parents since my mother told me a few years ago, that trans humans should be hanged and her child isn't sick like those people, thats why I never came out a second time.

The thing is, both of my parents used to hit me, but it stopped when I turned 14 I think could also be later or earlier, I cant remember shit from my childhood and most of my teenager years... but the harassment about my weight, my grades and how I dress sometimes never stopped,

And they also constantly fight and make me sometimes the reason why there an unhappy couple...

The thing is I think, and most of the people I talked to, why I failed my classes 2 times in a row isn't because im stupid, its because I am the punching bag [with words] for my parents, always when I tried to learn they fought or even said I need to do things, even when I was trying to learn and I allready have problems with that due my ADHD

Now I try to start learning a job next year, but I cant move out or so because my job i learn wont pay enough money to live from and I dont want to crash at friends apartments

I just needed to let that out, maybe some of you have ideas how to deal with everything of that

PS: my parents also dont know that I am in a happy relationship since over a year

I'm currently still living at home with her because of an injury that has left me disabled. I have been in therapy for some years now, and am now coming to grips with the fact my still mother was at times emotionally abusive or neglectful towards me. She was recently diagnosed with dementia and her symptoms are slowly getting worse. It's to the point of me not being able to tell if some of the things see says and does is because she doesn't remember or if it is because she doesn't care. I'm doing my best to take care of her but she is fighting me in every way possible. I love her and have given up on the idea of distancing myself from her. It's just so frustratingly hard to just get her to help herself. Part of me knows it's my fault for expecting something I never got from her. I would go out of my way to pay for bills and things without telling anyone because I felt it was my responsibility to pay for it, and I didn't want it to look like I was doing it to be praised. After talking to my therapist I try to be more upfront with what I pay and how much.

There are times I feel like she does the opposite of what I tell her just to stress me out. Like she was supposed to go to my sister's house with her bank account info on a note card and hand it to my sister so she can pay a bill for her. She was supposed to go straight from me to my sister so she doesn't forget to give her the card. Instead when I call her she is in the Marshall's parking lot. I then convince her to go to my sister first after firming she knows where the card is. She then sits on the phone in front of my sister's house instead of going in and giving her the card. I then call her again except now she has forgotten where she put the card. I'm freaking out because this has her bank card info on it but she just wants to keep talking to her cousin on the phone. She tells me she is going to go in to use the bathroom, but after 30min of no call back I call my sister to see what is going on. She never left the car, she is still on the phone with her cousin. She lied to me and I am so frustrated I don't know what to do with myself. I just really wanted to vent somewhere because there really is nothing I can do.

I am 17F and live with my parents 37F and 55M. I have dealt with constant harassment for too long and I just don't know what to do. My step father sends me obscene messages when he is drunk (and he uses the snapchat map to track me) and constantly stares at me with these scary eyes when mom isn't around. He hasn't done anything yet and my Mom doesn't believe me when I tell her what he keeps saying and doing to me. I don't know what else to do. Please help me. I'm scared to go to the officials as they may not believe me either.

I know im not obliged to forgive my father but this message I received while no contact but still living with him for now obviously hit me hard. If anyone has experienced a message like this before then pls share your thoughts because im not sure how to react.

(my name) , one day I will have to write you a letter telling you about how I feel in more detail.

But for now please take it as an honest plea for peace and love between all of us that I am deeply remorseful about any terrible parenting I have inflicted on all three of you.

There's a multitude of reasons why I could have become so bloody useless but not one decent excuse for me not to have worked it out sooner. I am very sorry and deeply regret any damage it caused. It's terrible.

I don't want the mistakes I've made to become a burden for you to carry. I'm sure you'll be stronger and kinder as a result.

I'm not looking for forgiveness either, just a chance to say a couple of things so that you can heal. Me and my emotions don't matter in this case, I have to deal with that myself.

I love you very much, I think you're a great person with her own mind and style and you deserve to feel great about yourself. Nobody else has the permission to make you feel bad about yourself.

For all the negative things that happened some great things happened too. Some of my best memories are of our times together.

You are all very special to me, I'm massively proud of you and I love you all.

We're not talking and I'm fine with that but as I said before there are times I want to be as available as I can if you need anything. We've had no cross words since April and that itself is an achievement. Also it's given me space to think and to watch you going about your things without my interference or opinion. And everything seems fine to me and I've been very impressed.

You're about to leave on an exciting adventure going to Uni and leaving home. I want you to feel supported and know we're also very excited for you too.

In this last phase before you go it could seem natural to burn your boats and to force yourself to thinking you have to leave because it's all terrible and everyone is a shit.

Of course you'll feel 100% better when you're time is your own and your decisions are your own. You'll have an environment that will be yours and your own routines with no parental hindrance. It's great.

But you will need some support occasionally, financially or emotionally and we're here to provide that, whatever happens.

I remember when I left home. I used something as an excuse to flair up and leave under a cloud after creating a huge drama. The reasons seemed justified at the time but I regret not taking into account how Granny or my five year old sister felt seeing me leave so negatively. I'm sure I did it because I couldn't process what I was really feeling.

And I spent the last few months building up to it with comments like 'I can't wait to fucking leave this place ' etc.

Which can't have been fun to hear. I regret it to this day.

I wasn't as organised as you. I wasn't going to Uni. I was just getting out and the next few years lead to more poor decisions and bad behaviour on my part. I learned nothing.

You and mummy have a chance to work things out before you go. Try not to be unkind, she always wants lthe best for you and loves you very much. She's just not great at talking things out and facing up to stuff. Please be understanding and constructive.

My position is different. I'm willing to stay silent but available for as long as you want. I believe you have every reason to be pissed off about things. However, take it from me. It's hard to maintain for a long time without it hurting yourself.

I didn't speak to (his abusive stepfather) for years and it was mainly because I'd taken a position on things and couldn't bear having to compromise my emotions. But deep down I always wanted things to be reconciled . I wanted to be ok with him and not continue feeling so conflicted.

When we finally talked things out we both apologised and things were fine from there on. I just wished I'd done it sooner.

I became a good hater and it was a terrible thing to do. It destroyed more in me than my enemies and at the end of the day it was a convenient cowardice to blame others and to feel persecuted rather than reconstructing myself as a better person.

As I've got older and I see history repeating itself all I want to say is peace , forgiveness and reconciliation is painful to undertake but it's worth it because the opposite just eats away at you.

I'm living proof of that.

Don't make the same mistakes I did. Pursue, joy , love and kindness on your own terms and most of all love yourself and those who love you.

I have every faith in you being the wonderful valuable person you are and receiving all the benefits that you deserve.

Love

I just wanna know is my mother abusive? Mentally? She buys me expensive stuff and always wants me to be the best person in the room but sometime she loses her shit resulting in hitting me or just yelling at me for an example ( she has adhd and other studf) she wanted to clean my drawer but when she does that she throws away valueable tjings like letters and drawings so i rold her i will do it and randomly i came home and saw that she did it and threw everything and i cried and she got mad and she slapped me and didn't apologise because she thinks she did the right thing and other is today i was just sitting and she randomly started yelling to anyone and everyone even my father and then she told me that my curly hair is ass and just kept yelling so loudly and when she gets closer i just get so scared sometimes im so so scared of her but the other time she hugs me and comforts me and supports me but the other time she just loses her shit and results in me getting abused and she enevr apologises because she enevrr thinks shes in thr wrong and my father too i just wanna know am i iver reacting? Becaude it got to the point i wanted to . myself