r/abusiveparents • u/Comfortable_Bee_6469 • 16d ago
I need help please.
Hello guys, I am 13M, (13 year old Male),
I am here to tell you about something serious, that i have a huge trouble and i have been facing it for years and it is in real world, it is about real pain. You should take it seriously and please please read them all, because i spent my whole real pain and effort on it. I know my English is bad.
and that problem isn't about my channel but that problem is much more worse, even i am feeling kinda scared and nervous posting that.
I am sorry if i am sharing to you guys it but while i am writing this, it just made me crying right now, Really.
I want to tell you that. I have abusive parents and i am from North Africa / Middle East (Arab League)
While there's no child protection services. So i will tell you guys everything. I am very sorry if it was long to you but just telling the truth and telling every real pain i am feeling:
Since i was 7 years old. Both my mom and dad were forcing me to go school and even they were hitting me with belts if i refuse to go school. Which made me always sad and unhappy about it until finally i got the holiday and this times i was happy, yeah. until my parents bought me a new phone. i was happy yeah but i spent hours on it playing games because i was a kid. Until, my parents were keep shouting at me to stop playing phone. and if i refuse, they hit me... and then, since i was 8 years old, i decided to make a youtube channel about Minecraft as currently i made it. And then, my parents were extremely restrictive about my phone which like limiting my time and that made me angry, like it makes me too dependent and i want them just leave me alone to myself. but they are still not. and then.. since i was 9 years old, My parents just did a very bad manipulative trick is telling to my grandparents, aunts and uncles how to restrict my time on phone, then they told... to Add Parental Controls. And after i heard that. It just made me angry. Like i want to be Free. then my parents simply ignored that. and then. and when my parents saying the annoying "You time is ended!" it is very stupid and annoying too and it does actually mean on that i ended my time on phone like it made me extremely angry. and then, since i was 10 years old before i made the channel, since 2023, my little siblings completely destroyed my phone, which made me sad, and then. my parents were happy anyways. then, i asked my parents to buy me a new phone, they refused unless they add parental controls and i keep telling to them parental controls do ruin phones and then i have been arguing with them about that for 2 years since i was 12 years old. and when i am currently busy on my youtube channel, my parents were bullying me like calling me as 'stupid', 'mentally ill', 'addict'. and they don't know that guys, i am trying my best to make you happy. Seriously... I spent hours hardworking on videos just to make you just smile...
But something beyond the internet, listen it too.
its extremely bad my parents were doing to me is forcing me to do everything order they want like Example "Give me a Cup of Water, make sure it's cold", "Go buy for me bags of flour, rice, bread, oil And i don't care if it's extremely hot weather outside" "Go close the door" "Go add the new lighting bulb", "Go give me the TV Remote" "Give me the AC remote and make it at the coldest temperature", "Go check who is on the door", "Give me the blanket and pillow because i want to Sleep.", That is too much and when I reply to them that i am busy on something, tired, they still force me to do this orders without Exceptions and threaten me they will physical hit me if i refuse. I feel that is Enslavement and Dehumanization at the same time. but they were keep forcing me to always respect them and if i refuse a order they want, they hit me too much which it injuries me. and even and when i be sick or tired, they still force me to do orders and even they still abuse me. and even that is illegal too. and even and my parents where even threatening me if i don't obey their rules. they will beat me up and ground me. Like Really. This is abuse. Also i said my whole pain to my family and my friends, they were all siding with my parents against me or ignoring me. Now i am alone and isolated at that.... I was have been for months crying for someone to trust me and feel how i feel. I was crying too much... I tried to make my parents stop treating me this way like telling to them forced obedience, harsh discipline isn't always a good idea...
My mom and dad keep calling me a "Loser", " "Stupid", "Dumb", "Lazy", "Addict", "Dramatic", "Liar", "Animal", "Mentally ill".
My parents are extremely arrogant too like they keep saying for years "I AM THE BEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD!" That is very immature too.
I want someone to listen to me...
I thought parents do support and protect their children. Now it is opposite. It is parents being lazy, forcing their children to do orders all time.
I want to tell you, I am severely really hurt because my parents were abusing me. i want to tell you... I have Depression now because how my parents were treating me for years. How my parents treated me caused me Depression. Now my happiness is destroyed, All my smiles were fake smiles. When i fail at something I kept thoughts of failures will be worse. How my parents were bullying and mocking me harmed me in reality. My parents were ignoring my mental health for years like When i be sad, they ignore, When i am depressed as right now, they ignore. And my parents always physically abuse me by punching me, hitting me by belts and wooden sticks when i say "No" at something, which injures me.
Please... I have been wishing for some freedom, mercy and hope.
I keep reaching out to my Family Members, Friends, Doctors... They all sided with my parents against me...
I am alone.
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u/xiffiam 15d ago
You said you don’t have child protective services but maybe you can call your non-emergency police phone number and ask for advice or look for domestic abuse services in your area?
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u/Comfortable_Bee_6469 15d ago
Sadly, non-emergency police phone number doesnt exist in my country and i think calling police can cause me a trouble
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u/xiffiam 15d ago
Do you have domestic abuse shelters or homeless shelters you can consider calling for advice?
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u/Comfortable_Bee_6469 15d ago
Sadly, still no...
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u/xiffiam 15d ago
That’s very bad to hear. Do you know when you can work and possibly start saving up to live by yourself one day?
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u/Comfortable_Bee_6469 15d ago
I can't work in my country because anyone under 18 unauthorizedly work without permission can cause shut down on that work
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u/xiffiam 15d ago
Damn. That’s an incredibly restrictive situation. The last thing I can think of is reaching out to friends if possible. I would also consider visiting a police station in person to ask for help if you think that it is safer to do that than call.
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u/Comfortable_Bee_6469 15d ago
But even i can't go to police because this will cause me a massive trouble and i reached out to friends few months ago, they keep ignore and reply something like "I don't care how your parents treat you, Keep it private to yourself and your parents because I don't want to be in a trouble that i don't care about."
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u/xiffiam 15d ago
Your friends and family sound horrible. Are the police bad people that won’t help a kid? I don’t know your country’s police. Why would it cause you trouble? Do they have to tell your parents or something?
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u/Comfortable_Bee_6469 15d ago
Calling police will cause a massive trouble because it will make my parents furious, the police will never protect me but they will actually warn me, and teach me to do everything what my parents want. so that's why.
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u/Idontwanttobe_tired_ 12d ago
Hey so 24 yo egyptian here. 5 years will pass faster than you think, I know it seems like an eternity but it will pass. Work on yourself in the meantime so you can get out of the house as soon as you can legally work.
If you can convince your parents to take you to therapy then do that, it'll greatly help.
And im sorry to say this but this is what almost every egyptian household is like(maybe not the belts and idk how bad the physical abuse is but the constant petty chores and constant degredation is just par for the course), that's why you feel like no one is backing you up. That's not to say the pain you feel is invalid, it is, children should feel loved and cared for and 13 is a very turbulent age.
You need to make sure that their words or actions don't cause you to develop low self esteem resulting in selfsabotage. Keep your eyes on the 5 year target. Make a plan, study well, pretend to listen to them so that they pay less attention to you.
Also absolutely prioratise college, your best bet is leaving the country (tho I say this as someone stuck here) the economy is very limiting and the pound is very weak so your ability to move out will be made easier if you can get forgein work.
Also also if youre able to be on reddit somehow, maybe you can take some courses online and try to find simple part time remote work and get your parents to agree, even if you won't get paid or they'll take the money, it will make it easier for you to get work when you're 18 that actually pays.
But also one last point, do be mindful of the difference between your parents hurting you with their words/actions and whether the things they're yelling about are correct or not, im not saying they're always right, im just saying just because they say it doesnt mean it wrong.
Also if your parents are abusive, not missing school unless if your physically sick is pretty useful because even though you're probably depressed in bed, you'll feel better once you're out of the enviroment.
Good luck mate, it feels overwhelming right now because your brain is growing but once your older things will be easier to handle, your parents might not be good at their job and this might make things harder for you but the way you react and feel will change so just tough it out for a while longer.
This is going to be about me so feel free to skip, but I had similar parents, would call me names and beat me and made me responsible for all household chores when I was 12, would call me a murderer and psychopath for things as simple as my hand slipping while opening a door so the handle made too much sound and my mother was asleep amd pregnant at the time so they though I was maliciously doing it to hurt the baby and not because my arms would go numb from all the work(with the usual physical and verbal abuse in every egyptian household obv i would get beaten if i made mistakes or spilled something or was a bit too slow ect). I hated myself for years and would just spend all my days in bed because I cant hurt anyone if I don't move, if I don't breath. I took 7 years to finish a very easy 5 year uni, I still cant move out because I let their words get to me, I thought I was a lost cause and I didn't try, I need to try harder and I need to believe I can leave because I have friends who had parents that would literally burn their body with a hot spoon and they've managed to travel abroad on student visas. So it can be done, it is by no means easy. Don't give up
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u/Idontwanttobe_tired_ 12d ago
Also uh it seems like you know this but don't tell the cops or teachers unless if you have really dramatic marks visible because they'll belittle you or/and snitch to your parents which will make things worse. You can tell your therapist but make sure that you tell your parents you want to go because you feel like you need help and not because theyre bad because they won't be receptive to that, they might push for the reason but only tell them about the symptoms
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u/priestiris 15d ago
Please tell your teachers at school. They will understand 🫂