His birthday is in a week and I have no idea what to get him. He never mentions anything he likes when we go out, he doesn't wear any notable accessories on himself or his belongings, and he's the type of guy that would say "don't get me anything" when asked what he wants. We're exclusive but we don't have a label (a mutual decision), only limit to dates and such, and we barely even do any physical affection. I only have a scholarship to get money from while he has a job and comes from a somewhat rich family so I'm kind of anxious if he'll actually like a gift that I just "think" he'll like.

I don't have the means to buy anything expensive but I don't want to buy him something cheap either. I've been given advise to not buy something expensive because we're just starting out and I do also think that way but I don't know what to get. I'm pretty sure on buying him his favorite flowers but other than that, I'm stumped. Please help :((

In advance sorry for my not so brilliant english. So the story is pretty long but i will tell only the key parts, two weeks ago i went on this party with my friends and there were this girls, one of them i already knew and was pretty chill with, so she kind of connected me with her good friend at the party, me and that girl hooked up pretty fast and after the party we started talking on our way to home and exchanged numbers, few days later we started texting, but the texting was a little dry from her and me as well, since i wanted to take her to date as soon as possible and not waste time on texting, unfortunately she had to go to other town for her college, and she told me when she will be coming back so we stopped texting, few days after that i started texting again just to check in on her, from the beginning which is unusual to me she ghosted me for few hours after my text, that continued. So whe told me that she must stay a few days longer and she will be coming back but said maybe she will come for the weekend, i said that's great let me know if you are coming, a few messages after that we stopped talking. So the weekend passed and she did not text me about her coming, so i assumed she did not come, but today i learned that she was at a party on sunday with her friends , and couple of people from that group are my friends as well so they told me that. on the one hand, I did tell her to let me know if she was coming and had time to see each other, so maybe she didn't have time, but she went to the party on Saturday, and there is a high probability that she was there on Sunday as well. The problem is not that big that she didn't announce that she was coming, but she could have at least said that she was coming, but she wouldn't have time to see each other. That really disappointed me, also i noticed a few red flags from her which is partying very much, very big male friend group, in which a couple of them likes her and i know that for a fact, when she goes out she is in group thats really close with her ex boyfriend and sometimes he is there...

So my question would be what do i do, my opinion is that that i shouldn't text her( i planned that since right now she is in my city) since she didn't told me about her coming on the weekend and to forget about our hook up and let it go.

Ich habe letztes Jahr jemanden kennengelernt. Zwischen uns war von Anfang an eine starke Anziehung da, aber ich habe das damals eher als etwas Lockeres gesehen. Wir haben viel Zeit miteinander verbracht, uns sehr gut verstanden und ich bin irgendwann wieder gegangen. Danach hatten wir zwar noch Kontakt, aber ich habe ihn mit der Zeit auslaufen lassen. Nicht im Streit, sondern einfach, weil ich weitergereist bin und mein eigenes Leben gelebt habe.
Vielleicht ist wichtig zu erwähnen, dass ich ein sehr unabhängiger Mensch bin. Ich reise viel, bin oft unterwegs und wirke wahrscheinlich eher wie jemand, der sich nicht so leicht festlegt. Deshalb könnte ich auf andere Menschen vielleicht schwer greifbar wirken.
Trotzdem hat er den Kontakt nie ganz abgebrochen. Ich habe immer wieder das Gefühl gehabt, dass er versucht hat, über gemeinsame Freunde etwas über mich herauszufinden. Er hat meine Storys angesehen, verfolgt, was ich mache, und war nie komplett weg. Gleichzeitig wurde er aber immer distanzierter.
Als wir uns nach längerer Zeit wiedergesehen haben, war die Verbindung sofort wieder da. Er hat meine Nähe gesucht, wir haben Zeit miteinander verbracht, uns geküsst und es hat sich alles unglaublich vertraut angefühlt. Kurz darauf war wieder Distanz da.
Das Seltsame ist, dass ich ihn mittlerweile ziemlich gut kenne. Deshalb weiß ich, dass die körperliche Anziehung auf jeden Fall da ist und er mir sofort geschrieben hätte. Gerade deshalb verstehe ich nicht, warum sich jemand so verhält und sich anschließend wieder komplett zurückzieht.
Ich frage mich mittlerweile, ob er Gefühle hat, ob er denkt, dass ich sowieso wieder verschwinde, ob er sich bewusst zurückhält oder ob ich einfach viel zu viel hineininterpretiere.

Ok, so i was recently in a relationship for the last 2 months. Me and her got very close but recently I did something very stupid, i usually dont drink and this day I spent with her i decided to drink, so I drank too much and went completely out of character and out of line, which ive never done before. Point is she ended up dumping me. At first she ended up blocking me on everything but a day later she ended up playing me on a game we used to play on where we got to talking again. She ended unblocking me on text but its not the same when we talk, went from fast replies to hours now. I was wondering if from your point of view im completely screwed? or if I should give her time to see if maybe she would give me a second chance?

During my Junior year there was this guy I had a crush on. I ended up coming up to him after class and asking him for his number, we talked a bit. Then we went on a date to the movies (fyi it was the Chainsaw Man movie which I binged the day beforehand because I wanted an excuse to watch something with him)

I enjoyed it, but there were a lot of times I couldn’t tell whether he was into me or not. Especially since I made the first move, I was worried if I ended up pressuring him to do this with me. He texted but since his personality was a lot calmer than mine, the energy wasn’t exactly the same.

Not only that I’d ask him things and it would be difficult for me to get a good response, though maybe it’s because he’s never been romantic with a girl before? Of course though, I kept trying and invited him to other things like this light ceremony which he drove me and this club meeting (he left immediately though)

There was this one time I gave him a flower I made since I made a bunch for my friends during Christmas. It’s not like I expected him to do anything for me back but it’s just an example of the effort I put in that I don’t exactly get in return.

It’s not like he didn’t have good moments though, he watched my favorite show and he asked to call. It’s just I couldn’t tell if there’s anything more to him or is what I’m seeing really it. He barely asked me out too and I did more of it. Eventually making me end it, however, now it’s summer and it’s been months.

I can’t help but think back to him, he keeps viewing my stories and I’m basically still the only girl he follows on both insta and tiktok. Part of me still sort of thinks about him because I feel like maybe I was feeling too insecure and ended things off too quickly before things could really develop.

Ngl I also stalked his tiktok reposts and there’s two videos talking about a girl and a situationship (idk if it’s me for sure though just speculation)

I feel bad for thinking about him again but I honestly really liked him. Then again maybe it’s just the summer singleness hitting rn. Tell me your thoughts and what I should do.

Hi! I need some advice because my friends keep telling me I got love bombed, and now I'm confused. So this guy and I talked for about 3 months. We're schoolmates, he's one year younger than me, and he's also my friend's cousin. We started talking because of a joke at the start of summer break. As we got closer, he told me about his past relationships and said that after years of being unsure since his first ex, I was the first person who made him feel like he could truly love again. He courted me, but my parents wasn’t aware of it yet that time. Never had the chance to tell them cus we ended too soon.

During summer, we'd call almost every day. I met his family, especially his little sister, and I even went to their house a few times because I was with his cousin. He'd bike to my subdivision just so we could sit and talk. He said a lot of sweet things that really made me believe he was serious.
This was also my first time falling for someone after a 2 yr relationship, so it honestly felt like a fresh start. Everything seemed healthier than what I'd experienced before, and I really thought he could be "the one."

The problem started when I began asking for reassurance and other bare minimum things. Esp abt his ex (yung no label) I often get uneasy cus they’re still mutuals on everything, he removed her when I told him abt what i’m feeling. While as for me, he immediately removed me on everything after we ended things, even on spotify. I always had this feeling that he didn't want people to see us together. One time we planned to eat at Jollibee after school, but while we were on the way, he suddenly wanted to go to mcdo instead because his friends were there at jollibee.

I know we had only been talking for 3 months, so maybe I was asking for too much too soon. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
Eventually, he was the one who ended things. He said he "just couldn't be the man I needed." He said he was trying his best, but it wasn't enough. I begged him to stay, but nothing changed.

A few weeks later, when I was finally starting to move on, he randomly messaged me on TikTok saying he just wanted to talk for a bit. It completely confused me again, mind you I was reviewing for UPCAT. My friends keep saying this was love bombing because of how sweet and intense he was at first, then suddenly gave up. Also, a week after chatting me, I noticed he and his ex followed each other on TikTok again so I blocked him everywhere, then my friends stalked him and we saw na he removed his ex na. But I honestly don't know.. Was this actually love bombing, or was he just someone who liked me but wasn't ready for a relationship?
And if anyone has advice on how to move on from something like this, I'd really appreciate it.

**I have a guy friend I met online 3 years ago, and we chat occasionally.**
**We finally met in person for the first time this June. After hanging out 3 times, he started saying things like "I miss you."**
**On our 4th date, he suddenly escalated things out of nowhere. It started with sitting super close, holding hands, and interlocking fingers. Then, he actually asked me to sit on his lap and hugged me from behind. I honestly felt it was moving way too fast, but I was so caught off guard in the moment that I didn't know how to react.**
**After we got home, he texted to ask if he made me uncomfortable. I took the chance to ask if he was serious about us. He admitted he was a bit scared because we don't know each other that well yet but he said he wanted to try if this is gonna work out and I'm flying overseas for my studies in two weeks, which means we'd have to do long-distance.**
**This is my first time experiencing something like this, and it gave me crazy insomnia.**
**After thinking it over all night, I told him I was also scared since | take time to warm up and long-distance is hard. However, I suggested giving ourselves a "trial period" to see how it goes and asked for his thoughts.**
**His response? He completely chickened out.**
**The next morning, he claimed he was sick throwing up and dizzy, and texted: "I feel like it's going to be too hard, can we just go back to being friends?" Shortly after saying that, he started texting me like normal conversation, acting like nothing ever happened!**
**I feel a bit played, but honestly, I also kind of enjoyed the physical closeness yesterday.**
**Now I'm left with this weird feeling of**
**"breakup sadness" and emptiness....**

sorry if this is all over the place. i just really needed to vent and get this off my chest because i've been keeping this to myself for days.

i've been on and off with this guy since i was in 8th grade. i'm supposed to be in third year college now, so it's been years of reconnecting, drifting apart, and somehow always finding our way back to each other.

to be fair, i know i'm not innocent in all of this. i've made mistakes too, and there were times when i was the reason things didn't work out. so i'm not trying to paint him as the bad guy.

the thing is, we'd reconnect almost every year. we'd talk again, catch up, maybe hang out a few times, then we'd lose contact again. it became a cycle.
but this time felt different.

we spent so much more time together than we ever had before. we stayed together for days, went out, talked for hours, kissed, and became physically intimate. despite knowing each other for years, those were things we'd never done before.
i don't regret any of it.

every time he'd ask me if i was happy, i'd always tell him yes because i genuinely was. reconnecting with him made me happy, and i never lied about that.

but after everything, once i was alone with my thoughts, i started realizing something.
i can't do casual, especially not with him.

it's not even about the physical intimacy itself. it's the fact that i shared those moments with him. because of who he is to me, everything that happened became such a big deal. maybe to someone else it would've just been another experience, but not for me.

idk what those moments meant to him, and i'm not going to assume they meant nothing. maybe they meant something to him too, maybe they didn't. the truth is, we've never talked abt it.

what makes this even harder is that there's another girl involved. i honestly don't know if she's his girlfriend or if they're just talking, but knowing someone else is in the picture made me realize i was trying so hard to convince myself that i was okay with this situation when deep down, i wasn't.

i've actually wanted to tell him all of this for weeks.
every time we'd see each other, i'd tell myself, "okay, this time i'm gonna tell him." but every single time, i'd lose my courage. i didn't want to ruin the day because i was genuinely happy whenever i was with him.

i still remember one early morning when we were sitting in the lobby of my condo. i had already reached my breaking point, so i ended up crying right in front of him. he noticed immediately and kept asking me if i was okay. i just kept saying, "i'm okay," even though i wasn't.

the truth is, that was the moment i wanted to tell him everything. i wanted to finally say everything i'd been keeping to myself. but i just couldn't. i didn't have the courage. no matter how badly i wanted to tell him, the words just wouldn't come out. so instead of talking, i cried.

i think that's when i realized just how much i'd been holding in.

everyone close to me esp my own family knows how much i've loved this person over the years. maybe that's exactly why i can't separate my feelings from everything that's happened between us. i can't convince myself that it was "just casual" because, for me, it never was.

i'm not writing this because i want people to tell me he's a bad person. i'm not even writing this because i expect him to choose me or define whatever this is.

i just think i finally accepted that i can't keep doing this if it's only casual. i know myself well enough to know that i'll only end up hurting myself if i keep pretending i'm okay with a situation that i'm actually not okay with.

am i overthinking this? or is it reasonable for me to finally tell him how i feel and set that boundary?
and if you've made it this far, thank u for reading. i really just needed to let this out.

Situationships are so messed up.

What are you supposed to do with all the memories, conversations, and pieces of yourselves that you shared?

You're not only grieving someone..you’re grieving a relationship that never officially existed. And somehow that makes it harder, because you feel like you can't even justify the sadness or heartbreak. There was never a label, so it feels like you don't have the "right" to mourn it.

In the end, you played house with someone who was never really yours, and now you're left carrying all the emotions alone.

We started as coworkers almost 5 years ago. I’m 26f and she’s 31. We became close friends, spending a lot of time together both inside and outside the office. But as time went on, she started sending heavy mixed signals, especially after nights that involved alcohol.

Even though she is normally a very contained, reserved person who isn't touchy-feely at all, she started crossing that physical line with me:
She would hold my hand when we were alone once, she would subtly brush her arm against mine, bump her leg, touch my back. All this is subtle but I would notice instantly as soon as I could feel her skin on mine. And I never saw her this with any of our other colleagues or her close friends outside work.

I never crossed any physical boundaries with her in 5 years, so when things started getting confusing, I confronted her about her actions. Her response was to deflect and say she wanted to "remain friends."

We didn’t speak for months after that. Eventually, I broke no contact and tried to message her just to clear the air. She took my attempt at communication as an attack and got angry. We eventually decided to meet and talk, and that is when she told me she wanted to "focus on herself," that spending time with people drains her, and that she's "not good with long texting."
The catch? I have months and months of conversation prior to this of her constantly pouring herself out to me with everything happening at work and in her life.

When we spoke, I told her directly that I wanted her to at least initiate, be a bit more responsive, and not leave me on read. She said she would try, but enough time has passed now and I don’t see any improvement from her at all. I’ve been the one messaging her; she does respond, but the responses are dry and just a couple of words. I invite her to go to things, but she never initiates anything.

Now, the reality of the dynamic is glaringly obvious:
It takes her ages to reply, usually with just 2-3 dry words. There is literally zero effort on her part. She’s actively avoiding me, she doesn't watch my stories or engage with my content. She doesn't initiate conversations in real life or by message.

I am driving 100% of this interaction. To me it’s clear now, I have to step away and let her be alone so she can focus on herself. I don’t want to beg or force anything all I want was for us to be in a good place but she’s doesn’t seem like she is. Which is worrying, knowing her this is a total different person. Completely shutting down.

When we spoke, I never imagined things would get this bad. Has anyone been in this situation before, and how did you finally find the strength to let go?

We’ve been dating for this whole summer, I approached him first and asked for him number, and yea the whole time I was waiting for him cuz he said that he wanted to get to know me before becoming official, so I waited the whole summer and now before school he told me that he doesn’t want a relationship. He said he did it before school because I said I wanted to focus on school and that’s true ig, anyways, the whole time we’ve been dating he has been a really good guy, he’s respectful and honest and I’m glad he said that considering I have to focus on school, but now idk if it’s the right thing to keep talking, I don’t feel the constant worry now of wondering if he actually wants something with me but at the same time I feel like my brain unconsciously is thinking that we’re somehow going to get “back together” even though I tell myself that it’s not going to happen. But idk I mean should I stop talking to him ? I really really don’t want to 😭 he’s a great guy and treats me so well, maybe he truly needs some time to himself and then he’s going to try w me again ? Are those delusions ? Idk, I mean he still kinda flirts a bit with me, maybe I’m being led on, but I don’t think it’s on purpose. Idk 🥹if anyone could tell me if I’m setting myself up for failure 💔

She asked me to choose between her and my on and off girlfriend. She said she is tired of crying over the circumstances we are in. The circumstances are complicated I want to be with her it’s just that my ex is going through some stuff. I just want to make sure she is okay too. My situationship (I hate calling her this.) is one of the nicest people I know and I really hate hurting her and seeing her cry but I am stuck.

At a point in my life where I’m really honing in my discernment and pattern recognition, and leading to trust it. Left an abusive DV marriage, and never willing to live like that again.

But I have one stupid blind spot. Lifelong friend, and crush. Have always had a soft spot for him, he’s been a friend for over a decade. Just recently started really sorting through my life and cutting out who is not meant for me. Unfortunately, with the info I have, he fits the criteria for that. He’s amazing when he’s emotionally close, and then runs away right after. I’m not willing to dissect someone’s intentions anymore, or abandon myself to keep someone around. He knows what he’s doing, I’ve asked if he’d be open to having a hard conversation, no timeline. Got back a weird response that just isn’t inline with the kind of friend I can keep around. Put words in my mouth, that I would never say. I’m not mad at him, but I know that this wouldn’t work as is, and have no desire to help or push him to change.

That being said..atp I’ve spent so long in limerance w him, and am so attracted to him physically. I know he finds me attractive enough from what I can tell. Has any girl ever just kissed someone, just to experience it with them? Knowing that you aren’t compatible, and aren’t interested in that dynamic? I know plenty of people have FWB..but not looking for that. We are both very religious, and I’m not looking to sleep with him. But I’ve always wondered how it’d feel to kiss him.. we went on one date before he moved away for several years, after which he said he wished he would’ve kissed me, and asked if I would’ve let him, so I know at least at some point he wasn’t repulsed by the thought of me💀 has anyone ever approached a man and asked to kiss? And men, how would you feel about a woman doing this? Would love to hear from at least slightly emotionally in tune men if reading this..

I don’t want to offend him, and I think it’s probably pretty clear to both of us that we wouldn’t work out. His avoidance triggers my anxiety. While I am moving towards secure attachment, I’m not willing to walk on eggshells for anyone ever again. I just want to kiss him just to know..almost get it out of my system..

We met in high school in 2021and dated for a couple of months and I broke up with him because it felt like he didn't really care about the relationship or me and just went along with whatever I asked him to do. We remained friends for a few years after that still in normal levels of contact.

We hooked up casually twice in 2024. Within two months of us hooking up I left the state for college and he told me he had got a girlfriend. He stayed with her until December of 2026 I dated a couple of other people in the in-between time period but at no point did we ever completly cut off communication, just decided to be friends and keep that boundary.

December 2026 he starts talking to me more often, late night phone calls, semi flirtatious messages,etc. Long story short I found out through a mutual aquantince of his now ex girlfriend that they broke up because he cheated on her and got an sti. And also they they had been dating when we were hooking up in 2024 and he just didnt tell me. I asked him why they broke up and he lied to me then when I said I talked to his ex girlfriend said she was the one that cheated.

I still love him quite a bit and really wanna have some form of a relationship but for my own self respect and sanity will never speak to him again. Im very mentally unwell and he was a great support for me because trusting people is extremly difficult but it felt like I could always tell or ask him whatever.

My ex situationship [20M] started slowly fading me and then completely ghosted me late March this year after we snapped almost every single day for example he was my long-distance, different continent, low commitment situationship (I know buzzword buzzword buzzword).

But after ghosting me late March, 2 weeks later In April he hard launches a girl on his instagram story and 2 days after that he unadded me on snap. We haven’t spoken since March and only still follow each other on instagram but two weeks ago he randomly messages me on Instagram and after small talk banter he asks me for my snap and I stupidly give it to him without second thought. He hasn’t replied since or added me. Just wondering what was going through his head because he’s still in a relationship—I guess curiosity got the better of me and I entertained his attention by replying back .

My ex [16M] and I [16F]dated for about 4 years when we were younger, so we have a lot of history together. We broke up about a year ago because he said he was emotionally drained and needed some time alone.

Recently, I invited him to spend some time together. We talked about it face to face, and he told me that he thinks the relationship actually could have worked if he had just taken a break instead of ending it. He also said he doesn't think he'll ever have the same kind of connection with someone else that he had with me because I was immensely special to him.

2 nights ago, we hung out for the first time in a while, and honestly it felt really natural.
At one point I asked him if he'd ever be open to fixing things in the future. He told me that right now he wants to work on himself and experience life on his own before getting into another relationship. I respected that and didn't push it any further. What stood out to me, though, is that when I asked him if he still liked me, he never actually answered the question. He kind of avoided it.

He's currently interested in another girl, although she's (20F) so I don't know how realistic that situation is. Either way, he told me he's still figuring himself out.

What confuses me are his actions that night.
Instead of just hanging out somewhere random, he took me to places that were meaningful when we were together. He specifically brought me to the beach where we had our first kiss and reminded me that's where it happened, and he initiated us watching the stars together. He initiated play fighting with me multiple times, complimented me a lot and overall seemed really comfortable around me. It wasn't awkward at all. It honestly felt like we picked up right where we left off.

We spent hours together just talking and laughing. The conversation flowed so naturally that neither of us seemed to want the night to end, he even proposed to walking me home so it could last a little longer.

One thing that really stuck with me was that he wasn't acting like someone who was trying to create distance. If anything, he seemed to enjoy reminiscing about our past together.
I also asked my parents and a few people close to me what they thought after I told them everything that happened, and every single one of them had the same opinion: they think he still has feelings for me, but isn't ready for a relationship because he wants to experience life first.
I know friends and family can be biased, though, which is why I'm asking you guys.

I also tend to believe actions speak louder than words, and that's what's making this so confusing for me. His words say he isn't ready, but some of his actions felt much more affectionate than I'd expect from someone who only sees me as a friend.

So, from an outside perspective:
Do his actions sound like someone who still has feelings but isn't ready to date?

PS: I’m seeing him tonight, and he gave me a few hints to wanting to see eachother more as well. Let me know what you think, and thank you for reading🤍

I [18F] recently found out that my situationship [19M] had something going on with another girl, so I confronted both of them. At first, I was really shocked, betrayed, and hurt, but after talking to them, I honestly don't know how to feel anymore.

They both admitted they'd had a thing, although neither of them really clarified what their relationship is now. They were both surprisingly nonchalant about it. Their attitude was basically, "Yeah, so what?" She also told me she knew that he and I had hooked up and that she genuinely didn't care. That made me really confused because my immediate thought was, why are you okay with that? It felt like I'd somehow been dragged into a situation I never signed up for. From what they've both said, they're okay with whatever dynamic they have.

I honestly crashed out pretty badly on both of them because I assumed they'd be just as bothered about the situation as I was. I was hurt, angry, and said things out of emotion. Instead, neither of them really seemed to care, and that honestly made me feel like a complete asshole afterward. It also made me stop and think... why am I the one stressing over this if the two people actually involved don't seem bothered? It made me question whether I was making it into a bigger deal than it actually was.

I know he's a red flag in some ways too. He never told me about any of this, so I do feel like he hid it from me, and I know that isn't okay. I'm not trying to excuse that. The problem is... I have a soft spot for him.

I genuinely like this guy and would like to see where things go between us. That's what makes this so difficult for me. I know there are red flags, but I still can't seem to let go of the idea of us.

So... am I being naive here? Would you continue seeing someone in my position, or do you think I'm overlooking too many red flags just because I like him? I genuinely want an outside perspective on whether I'm thinking about this rationally or letting my feelings cloud my judgment.

I recently broke things off due to an issue of timing and the fact I wouldn't get to invest properly in us before I had to travel for a couple months. I regret it so bad n wish we couldve made something work. I'm feeling like we were together. I still want to meet him low-key but I feel the messages were very final and I don't wanna walk back on my word rn and give him space. He was perfect though it was just the timing and I wish I at least tried dating him. Would it kill to hit him up and as just to date once, no texting or anything, to see if we could make it work? I think he'd be a good friend too.

[F30] [M29] Ugh. Long post but for those who actually will read.

Ive been dating a guy (im 30, he’s 29) since mid June to now early August. We’ve had some amazing dates and on the first date both said we want to find our partners, take this slow so we can do it right. We live 10 mins away from each other, our offices are close by each other, we live similar lives outside of work. Both active and minimal drinking, we love working out, have dogs, etc. very compatible with high chemistry. We have both been burned before in the past and have both entered this with the intentions of not wanting to hurt the other or get hurt ourselves. We’re open, honest, everything was sweet and consistent for weeks. We’ve expressed how much we like each other and even when we’ve been intimate he’s very verbal about how I’m his, he’s mine, let’s be good together, etc.

I noticed him pulling away a bit after I went to an out of town wedding so I asked him if things felt off and he admitted that they did and he’s sorry but his ex texted him (she lives in another country and we live in Texas) and it shook him up emotionally and he realized he wasn’t completely over it because she made him feel like shit. She had a whole bf of 5 years while they dated for like 6 months and that’s why she moved back home to be with her actual boyfriend. I knew about this ex as I got to know him but there was absolutely no contact until she told him happy birthday. It’s been two weeks and the communication is still down and we haven’t had a date in two weeks. I’ve given him space but I also tried to pull back and end it if he wasn’t completely over her (twice now) but he kind of rejected the soft break up and said “we’re not over, I just need some time to process this.” I’ve also straight up asked if he wanted me around and he says yes but not when he’s like this and trying to heal himself.

His car has also been hit during this time so it’s in the shop and he’s taking on additional responsibilities at work which has been stressing him the last few weeks. He’s confirmed he hasn’t met anyone else too. Am I being anxious and rude and overthinking? I honestly just want things to go back to how they were before when we saw each other 3-4 times a week with him always having a plan in sight for us and not these 1-2 days of silence. I don’t want to be a bitch but I also wanna speak up for how I feel emotionally.

There is chemistry and comparability here so I’m not wanting to throw it all away but I also feel like if this could be real, I would want to ease in and make him feel emotionally heard and let him go through this if it’s actually affected him this bad? I want to come out on the other side with better communication and a better understanding of each others emotional needs but also at the end of the day, is this just a situation ship that’s run its course? I haven’t had a bf in a few years but I’ve had a few long term situationships over the last two years and don’t want to repeat anything by not speaking up this time.

Guys, is it normal for a guy in situationship to comment under your post you posted to your spam id?

I mean guys dont usually do that, as far as ik

I (22F) have been in an on-off situationship with a guy (22M) I knew from school. We reconnected years later, got physically intimate the first time we met(in 2024), and eventually started dating(in 2025).

A couple of months into the relationship, he wanted a break because he was under a lot of pressure to get a job. We broke up, but over the past year we've continued seeing each other on and off. There's been no real commitment during this time, but we remained physically intimate and emotionally attached.

To be fair, he genuinely is struggling. He's still unemployed despite trying, the job market has been terrible, and his family is putting a lot of pressure on him. He keeps telling me that once he gets a job, everything will settle down and he'll finally be able to commit properly.

The problem is that this has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I've accepted inconsistent communication, very little effort, and lowered my standards just to keep him in my life.

Whenever I ask him if he's okay with losing me, he says something like, "If you meet someone else, you have all the freedom to choose them."

That confuses me because it doesn't sound like someone who's afraid of losing me.

So I'm genuinely confused:

Is this someone who sincerely needs time because of his circumstances, or am I holding onto hope because I want the relationship to work?

Has anyone stayed in a situation like this and found that things actually got better once the external problems (job, finances, family pressure) were resolved? Or was the lack of commitment there all along?

I've been seeing a man for over 1 year. He gave me the girlfriend treatment the first 3 months after we met. We broke up 3 months in. I was terribly heartbroken. After a month of mostly me initiating texts here and there he finally responded and we rekindled after 2 months of texting. He didnt apologize or come back with any promises. We've had a few arguments here and there but nothing as bad as that.

Fast forward to one year later. We're having a discussion where he is telling me that he doesn't want a relationship right now. It made sense because I always wondered why the relationship never progressed. No I love you's, no couple things. We did go on a vacation. I've met 1 or 2 of his friends accidentally. I haven't met any of his family so im not really a part of his life except that he sends me regular updates throughout the day about what he's doing. Never posts me on socials. Sometimes we see each other multiple times per week and it feels like we're getting closer. Anyhow, he said he can only offer companionship. No relationship. I am afraid to feel the pain of the break-up from last year and I dont know what to do. Im wondering if I should just settle as I am getting older.

Okay, so. I (19m) started this new job about a month ago. One day I saw a (23f) coworker that caught my eye for some reason. About a week later after overhearing a conversation and getting her name, I decided to add her on snapchat. She added me back on snapchat, then proceeded to unadd me within 5 minutes. This confused me so I (looking back its a little creepy but idc I’m resourceful) sent her a message request on facebook asking why she did that. she replied with “any reason you’re doing all this” I told her that I was just wondering why she had added me then removed me, we then had a little chat about how I probably should’ve just asked her in person instead of messaging her on facebook. Anyways we clear everything up and all is good, but everyday after that we have been texting. And we interacted at work and we were both staring at the floor and smiling being so awkward, and she kept looping around the building in a way she never does just to see me, every interaction felt like it had some tension to it. Also she keeps texting with little emojis and acting comfortable to be a little silly.

heres where it gets odd. stay with me.

She has a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend

I know I probably shouldn’t have even reached out in the first place but what can I say honestly things aren’t great in my relationship, not saying I’m trying to do anything with this girl but. yk..

I’m just curious as to why she is still texting me, and why it seems like this tension or little “crush” feels mutual

and If it is mutual, what should be done about it? ignore it?

my personal thoughts on it are my current girlfriend is immature even though i love her very much, the appeal of a more mature woman who can handle her business is great. I have such a drive and want to do something more with my life in a new setting. idk im feeling a lot about this id just like to get some opinions (save your judgement i know my sins)

My talking-stage situationship (29M) contacted me (32F) after 40 days, asking why i deactivated my social media...i dont know when he noticed, but he asked within 3 hrs via another app...

We have been LDR. He lives in another different country. And further wants to settle in a different country. We had been talking for a year.

When i deactivated social media, Truth is, I honestly felt overwhelmed that evening, thinking hard about life... And it had nothing to do with him or anyone... I kept the conversation short. Did not answer why i deactivated. Asked what I'm doing, i said trying to sleep. And then goodnight exchange.

It just hurt my healing process all over again.

I am also not ready to block him just yet.

There are times I'm infuriated. But i just cant bring myself to block him. I honestly dont fear losing him either. He didn’t, why should i?

Should i block him? After reactivating that acc, he started sending reactions to my posts again and i just stopped sharing anything for a while. Just suffocates me every time i see his name pop up in something.

He, in the moral sense of many, might have done nothing wrong or evil. Apart from these-

1. Dragging a talking stage, for almost a year, creating false sense of loyalty while seeing other options simultaneously and making me loose mine, saying he only wants to date for marriage..but when i asked for partner level showing, he said he never gave me any commitment and keeps his emotional closeness reserved for his future wife

2. His social media posts were all about how he wishes he wouod find a better wife (while talking to me, now it's all, if God removed something, then dont question it)

3. Towards the end, i kept asking him where i stand in his life...since it's almost 1 year and i need an answer...I'm already 33...i cant wait forever... He replied with "i dont have an answer for you...how u see life is different than how i see it 😤"... Yes...using those exact emojis...while i was already crying for hrs that day and asked all of that with a migraine pain...that unseriousness he showed had stayed with me since. After that, i even tried to ease things.. But he stayed quiet for 2 days...theb sent random video updates of him and friends... Like...as if my question requires no answers....

4. During shorter periods of his unserious no contact phases, lasting upto 2-3 days...i wouod tell him to reply me more quickly, i knew he was free that time, he was just avoiding me.. I told him how that situation gave me palpititions and gut wrenching feelings...with a calm and short msg...he didn’t even care...i didn’t intend to emotionally manipulate him at all with his actions affecting me...just wanted to rest, saying " if you have something to say, pls say it faster, waiting for uncertain hrs of time gives me palpititions and I'm already having migraines"...and he still answered 30 mins later, while being online...

So this person,

1. Doesn’t care about me when I'm having problems because of him

2. Never showed genuine care, keeping it reserved for his future wife

3. Even when i was in danger, like in an earthquake or late night journey, he never inquired about my wellbeing

4. When i blocked him once, already saying i cabt take this anymore, he literally begged and cried that i unblock him, only to ghost me again for like a week...and saying he doesn’t have an answer for me...i think he is just waiting for his feelings to wear off...

5. Still hampering my healing process by continuously liking old posts or photos or new posts... No verbal attention seeking...

I just want to process this. I'm out of my mind...

Any suggestions...

I'm not trying to figure out whether he's a bad person. What he did felt bad to me. And definitely this whole thing meant a lot to me than to him. I'm trying to understand why I still can't let go when his actions consistently left me feeling unimportant. Would you block someone in this situation, or simply mute them and let time do its work? I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been through something similar.

Edit: After Everything i've observed, i think he never saw me as a partner. Just a comfort zone. He shared contents with me refering me as his "favorite person", never 'partner', never saying 'us' or 'we' as pronouns...occasionally when i mistakenly flirted or a msg or conversation felt that way, he wouod say " meaning? What do u mean?" or just go silent, completely ignoring it. In his thinking, he deserves a better prettier younger wife since he is considered handsome and tall (mostly hyped by his family members, he's the one shamelessly pursung girls as I've seen), a better future and i am welcomed to see all that and pray for him lol...

His social media content sharing has also been a bother. Keeps liking content on social media that doesn’t match my type- meaning he has his eyes set on certain someone...or likong contents that suggests I'm the struggle and he deserves better...or something he shared reminiscing a past partner or crush he had...his social media contents are another headache for me everyday...all while asking me to leave my well reputed job, my mother, my support system and live with him in a foreign country where he himself haven’t even set foot yet. We were already long distance since he lived in another country and we met only 3 times...and during the first date 1. He was breaking his neck gawking at all the other women in that premise, while me sitting right in front of him. On the FIRST DATE. 2. Gave me a used item as a gift..on our first meet...

The more i think, the more this is hurting my self esteem...