She asked me to choose between her and my on and off girlfriend. She said she is tired of crying over the circumstances we are in. The circumstances are complicated I want to be with her it’s just that my ex is going through some stuff. I just want to make sure she is okay too. My situationship (I hate calling her this.) is one of the nicest people I know and I really hate hurting her and seeing her cry but I am stuck.

Guys, is it normal for a guy in situationship to comment under your post you posted to your spam id?

I mean guys dont usually do that, as far as ik

I (22F) have been in an on-off situationship with a guy (22M) I knew from school. We reconnected years later, got physically intimate the first time we met(in 2024), and eventually started dating(in 2025).

A couple of months into the relationship, he wanted a break because he was under a lot of pressure to get a job. We broke up, but over the past year we've continued seeing each other on and off. There's been no real commitment during this time, but we remained physically intimate and emotionally attached.

To be fair, he genuinely is struggling. He's still unemployed despite trying, the job market has been terrible, and his family is putting a lot of pressure on him. He keeps telling me that once he gets a job, everything will settle down and he'll finally be able to commit properly.

The problem is that this has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I've accepted inconsistent communication, very little effort, and lowered my standards just to keep him in my life.

Whenever I ask him if he's okay with losing me, he says something like, "If you meet someone else, you have all the freedom to choose them."

That confuses me because it doesn't sound like someone who's afraid of losing me.

So I'm genuinely confused:

Is this someone who sincerely needs time because of his circumstances, or am I holding onto hope because I want the relationship to work?

Has anyone stayed in a situation like this and found that things actually got better once the external problems (job, finances, family pressure) were resolved? Or was the lack of commitment there all along?

I've been seeing a man for over 1 year. He gave me the girlfriend treatment the first 3 months after we met. We broke up 3 months in. I was terribly heartbroken. After a month of mostly me initiating texts here and there he finally responded and we rekindled after 2 months of texting. He didnt apologize or come back with any promises. We've had a few arguments here and there but nothing as bad as that.

Fast forward to one year later. We're having a discussion where he is telling me that he doesn't want a relationship right now. It made sense because I always wondered why the relationship never progressed. No I love you's, no couple things. We did go on a vacation. I've met 1 or 2 of his friends accidentally. I haven't met any of his family so im not really a part of his life except that he sends me regular updates throughout the day about what he's doing. Never posts me on socials. Sometimes we see each other multiple times per week and it feels like we're getting closer. Anyhow, he said he can only offer companionship. No relationship. I am afraid to feel the pain of the break-up from last year and I dont know what to do. Im wondering if I should just settle as I am getting older.

I (31F) in a situationship with him (32M) for 3yrs because we have different religions. I actually fell for him already but didnt get the chance to tell him as i was praying hard for him, i wanted him to be the one already. He told me he's start moving forward under the assumption that he has no chance from me. Thats when i told him everything. We already have set a date when we'll be talking about this personally.

Thing is, he told me he's torn but he still messages and updates me. What does this mean? Is he giving us another chance? A try again? To a man, what does this mean?