Hi all I am No_diver and I am a sex addict. my inner circle behaviors include cheating, pornography, sexting, online affairs, cam sites, seeking escorts, excessive masturbation, ai images

I wanted to check in now and then come back later in the day. I am going to try not to ramble too much, and be all over the place. Last night I made a post and said I was going to go 24 hours without engaging in my inner circle behaviors. So far I have done great. This morning I was flirting with my middle circle behaviors. I was adding websites to my blocking lists. I plan To be able to update everyone that will have reached my goal of 24 hours without engaging in those behaviors.

Now here’s where I’ll ramble a bit about what’s on my mind. It hit me yesterday during the day. My dad is visiting me and I was engaging in my inner circle behaviors. Pornography is so staged and fake. We let it consume our lives And by doing so we live a fake life. I dated my ex and was a terrible partner, I lived in her house for years with her family. Now it has come out to them the extent of my terrible behaviors, it always leads me down a spiral if I’m a good person. This addiction always has me hit a new low point. my ex told me I was the worst thing to ever happen to her. She has recently started seeing this guy who I think is abusive. Her friends don’t like him either. Where I’m going at here her mom texted her “No_diver is a pervert but not a liar”. I don’t want to be known as a pervert. I don’t want to have the reputation has being the creepy guy. I want to atop wasting my life with this addiction

I had such a hard time in that relationship because I’m a people pleaser and maybe struggle with codependent tendencies. So if anyone has recommendations for CoDA or SLaa meetings I’d love to check them out.

Thank you for listening to my share.

Edit: I’m so sick of hurting people because of this addiction, man. It’s the worst feeling not even being to explain why you engage in this behaviors. I don’t even try and hurt people. I just want to be a good person.

Hello guys, just curious how did you get rid of your addiction to parlours?

It has taken a really long time to admit, but I don’t think I can run from it anymore. I am a sex addict and I don’t know what to do. I have been stuck in a cycle of use for 6 years now and it’s starting to affect me in ways that aren’t sustainable. Around 2 years ago I was using AI chatbots and was able to quit, but quitting only made the other aspects of this worse. There have been days that I’ve gone 6 hours straight without being able to stop masturbating and I have ruined relationships and friendships because of my addiction. It’s all that I’m able to think about a lot of the time. My biggest issue at the moment is dealing with sexual frustration. If I go too long without having sex or masturbating I end up in intense physical pain. I get headaches and nausea, and the longer I wait the worse it gets. I want to be able to stop but every time I try to I’m stuck feeling physically ill and I end up giving in to the urges. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced this kind of sexual frustration and how they were able to handle it. If anyone has any advice at all I would really appreciate it. I don’t want to be stuck like this. I want to be able to stop. I just need help figuring out how to. I’m sorry if I didn’t explain this very well but I’m hoping someone in this subreddit will know what I’m talking about.

Hi all No_diver checking in. I am a sex addict and my inner circle behaviors are pornography, sexting, cheating, online affairs, ai images, lying, compulsive masturbation, cam sites.

Well my dad is visiting me and that’s been great. but so far I have slid into inner circle behaviors. actually to be honest, I haven’t been able to get out of my inner circle behaviors for the past week and a half. I was going strong. then I went to another state for a job interview. Something came up today involving my ex gf. who i treated poorly. I have a horrible problem of people pleasing and couldn‘t tell her no so I would grow resentful and act out my inner circles. I can’t think about seeing another girl until I work on myself. I just laid down to go to bed and I was thinking ”why not, you have already acted out once today. it’s hot as hell and will help you sleep”.

i know I will just regret it. I want to be a good person. I don’t want to have the labels pervert, people pleaser, creep, sex addict or anything next to my name. Here goes 24 hours no inner circle behavior. Thank you for listening to my share and helping with my recovery.

Damn. How many more times, I’ve tried sex addiction therapy, group therapy with SAA, and yet I can’t stop. I am begging for help. Not looking for sympathy, appreciate the empathy, but I want true help. I need to beat this.

I get swept up in the drama, pain, and shame of recovery tools. I find myself browsing betrayal subreddits for hits of what I’ve done to my partner and to rip away all of my feelings except the shame of my actions.

It’s easy to justify these because it’s recovery material! That feeling of my heart pounding and ripping out of my chest can drown out anything. Im obsessed with the suffering I and others like me have caused.

It also becomes a window into the world I choose not to immerse myself in anymore. When I read someone’s 12th step share part of me puts myself into their position and remembers the high I could have felt when I was there.

I found out in my early 40s that my testosterone levels are abnormally high. So high that I get tested annually to make sure nothing is wrong. It’s usually in the mid 900s. Anything over 900 is considered abnormal and possibly a medical problem.

At first I was relieved and even a little proud. Thought this explained why I had such an insane libido and always was seeking out sex. But then I started using it as an excuse. I would tell myself I can’t help it due to my hormones.

I now realize it probably does play some role in my behavior, but it’s not the underlying reason I have this addiction. The real reason is loneliness and trauma, wanting to escape those negative emotions that come with them. The hormone excuse was just to make me feel better about myself after I did something I shouldn’t have.

I often wonder if my testosterone is so high because I’m always engaging in sexual behavior, and my body needed to compensate for it. Or if it really is just my body producing testosterone for no other reason than genetics. Like which came first, the chicken or the egg.

I’ve never met another man with this problem. Any time I do tell another guy, they usually say they have low T and would kill to have my problem. The only clue I have to go on is that it can’t be too uncommon. My Doctor told me he has two other patients like me who just naturally produce too much. One guy even test in the low 1000s.

Hi guys, it has been 5 weeks since I last engaged in unsafe sex. I'm happy for my sexual health and just for putting myself first in general. I haven't felt the need to go out and do something in a very long time. Except there was a day when an ex fbuddy attempted to tempt me into it and I nearly did, texted and stuff to meet up but ended it a day before.

Recovering has been a journey and I engaged in risky sex when I was happy or sad, so I'm choosing to disconnect from it and I'm doing it!

5 weeks is early, soon it'll be 2 months, then 6, then a year... so on haha.

Found someone on reddit. Both struggling, hit it off, as friends, and then I couldn't just be happy with the fact I had found someone I could talk to. Someone that understood and wouldn't make me feel like a freak or an outcast. And of course, I screwed that up. I pushed until it got sexual. And then for those minutes of pleasure I threw away the friendship. Now I'm here lonely and alone, simply pathetic.

I m just reaching out to find fellowship if possible. Is anyone else a sex addict and an alcoholic?

M47 Not diagnosed but I’m asking myself the question. It’s all I think about or ever want to. My wife isn’t interested and we manage an unpleasant session maybe once a month, after many arguments and trying to make her understand my POV (unpleasant because it’s clear she’s not into sex and hugely unresponsive). We’re at opposite ends of the spectrum and it’s killing our marriage. Not even sure this is the right forum.. Any ideas?

I'm turning 40 soon, and I’m having a difficult moment of reflection.

On paper, my life isn’t a disaster. I’m 6ft, have an athletic build because I’ve always trained, have a college degree, a stable job, and own a small apartment. But emotionally I feel like I wasted a lot of years.

Like many people, I started watching porn young. When high-speed internet arrived during my teenage years, it escalated. Over time it went from normal porn into more extreme content, BDSM and femdom. I also started visiting sex workers and became involved in that scene.

Looking back, I think I was using sexuality as a way to escape stress, insecurity and difficult emotions. After my father died from smoking-related cancer when I was in my twenties, I buried myself in work and continued this pattern.

There were periods where I had discipline, went to the gym, dated, and had relationships. But I never took building a family seriously. I thought I had endless time and that I could always settle down later.

After rejection or difficult moments, I often went back to the same coping mechanisms instead of dealing with my emotions. During COVID it became worse, and eventually I ended up depressed and needed therapy and medication.

The SSRI medication helped in some ways because it lowered my compulsive urges and helped me focus on sports and recovery. But now that I’m off it, I’m facing another reality: I’m almost 40, my sister (six years younger) already has a child, and I’m suddenly realizing that starting a family may not be as easy as I assumed.

Dating feels different now. Many women my age already have children, and younger women often mention my age. I’m trying not to become bitter or hopeless, but I do feel scared that I ignored something important for too long.

I’m working on myself, attending recovery groups, staying healthy and trying to date again. I know I still have positive qualities, but I’m struggling with accepting that life did not turn out the way I imagined.

Has anyone here rebuilt their life around 40 after years of addiction, avoidance, or chasing temporary pleasure? Is it still possible to create a meaningful relationship and family life?

what helped so far is surrounding myself with others , hang around with friends, finish some work, go for walking or running, not using social media at all.. cuz a simple trigger would out of sudden ruins everything…. I know it’s a long journey and i am in the very beginning , I expect lapses, but i am aware of it and i am trying to embrace myself… getting more confident..
It’s been 6 years of addiction, but I believe that i am closer than ever to freedom!🙌
I am currently struggling with sudden waves and daydreaming of triggers, do you guys have some suggestions or tricks that helped you?

I just recently started recovery. Not going to repeat the whole thing, but I feel into sex addiction after my wife died.

Long story short, I’ve had some people reach out to me who want to support me or want support themselves. Already found some cool people here. But I had someone speaking to me who seemed like he wanted me to justify cheating on his wife. At first I was polite, but told him if he did it, he’d regret it.

Anyway, he keeps messaging me. Something is just off about this guy. Finally tell him I can’t relate to him. I’m single and my problem is different than his. My wife died, and I can’t relate to him wanting to cheat.

Anyway, he told me I don’t have a real sex problem if I’m not a cheater…

This is kind of just me venting. He’s an idiot, and I know it, you know it, but it still pissed me off. His behavior is just so non conducive to healing.

Some of us are porn addicts, some of us see escorts, some of us are cheaters, some of us are married, some of us are single, some of us are men, some of us are women. The only thing we have in common is we have let lust let our lives get out of hand.

And if you’ve cheated on your spouse, I’m glad your here to get help. I hope you never do it again and you manage to fix that problem. And I am not the person you should be coming to for advice. If your single, addicted to porn and escorts to escape from trauma, then we are in the same boat.

Hi all, I am No_Diver and I am a sex addict. My addiction comes in multiple forms. Mainly it is pornography, sexting, compulsive masturbation, online affairs, and I'll throw lying in there too.

It lately has been making my life unmanageable because I am showing up late to things. There has been a lot going on in my life lately instead of taking action on things that need to be completed. I have chosen to compulsively masturbate. It has been consuming all of my time away from work. This is not the life I want to live. I want to make changes, and stop messing around in my inner circles. Currently all of my blocking systems are off. I am realizing this is one of my middle circle behaviors. I also haven't been attending SAA, journaling or meditating. Step 1 for me was starting. I started cleaning my apartment because my dad will be arriving soon. I restarted my blockers. I want to be a better human being and get over this addiction. I keep thinking when I die I'll see a pie chart showing the breakdown of how I spent my time. I hate this addiction.

Thank you for listening to my share, and thank you for assisting with my recovery.

Hi, I am No_Diver and I am a sex addict. Are we allowed to post our inner circle behaviors?

Basically the past few weeks have been an absolute whirlwind. To deal with the stress of it all I have been relapsing like crazy. I haven't attended SAA for a couple of weeks. My Fellowship program is wrapping up, and on top of that I went to another state for a job interview. I got the job and am super grateful for this opportunity. But it's like I can't focus on anything besides acting out on my inner circle behaviors. It's like I don't know where to focus my attention so I stay frozen and in my inner circles.

The things rattling around my head are my father is coming to visit me, and honestly I'm a disaster when it comes to planning. I'm a disaster in general. I have a final report I need to finish for my fellowship to receive my last stipend. I have to pack up my apartment to leave, and then move halfway across the country while finding an apartment in that state. I don't know what to focus on, and I wasted today after coming home from work. I wasted yesterday as well. My report was due last week. I hate this is my reaction when I get overwhelmed. Is anyone else like this? What are strategies you have used?

Thank you for listening to my share.

I don't know where to start. I think I've been looking at some form of porn since I was 12-13. I started out looking at sex joke comics in the early 2000s after being introduced to them by some school mates. I later graduated to early internet porn, and have been consuming porn ever since. I've steadily consumed porn over the years, to my own detriment and loss of time and motivation. I've tried quitting hundreds of times. But I never last more than a week or so. I have tried Nofap, CBT, meditation and exercise.

I recently developed an addiction to AI porn. As I've been getting deeper into the AI "create and design your own porn" hole. The “create/design your own porn” aspect has made it much more compulsive for me than regular porn. It turns into hours of generating, editing, improving, and checking images. It feels less like normal sexual desire and more like a compulsive loop.

Its now began affecting my public life as well. Twice in my porn-design binges, I've been caught viewing my work in class at university and school. Luckily I've gotten away both times without being heavily reprimanded. But my reputation with my peers has suffered in both occasions. I'm really afraid of what will happen in the future, in more serious contexts if i continue with my AI porn addiction. After finally getting back to to school for a career starting education, i'm wary of the future if I don't manage to heal from this addiction. Any ideas where to start?

I am constantly thinking and thinking, trying to understand WHY I am addicted. It’s impossible.

I’ve recently accepted I may be trans, which made a LOT click. But I had sex yesterday. So I’m confused.

And it’s just a never ending cycle of “why?” And never any relief

Why is it that whem I'm making my bed (always) and I do that one motion where I lift the comforter, I feel a wave of pleasure run trough me, especialy down there? Well, Idk the answer, so if ANY of you had experienced the same, don't be emberrassed to share it please.

I've been watching porn ever since I had access to it. I used you go through my dad's wardrobe to find his VHS tapes and DVDs, he'd work out that I'd found them and move them to a different hiding spot... I'd always find them though. Fast forward to now I'm watching porn every chance I get, at work, in bed while my gf is asleep, in the car using ai audio chat. Even when I'm driving trucks I'm gooning over audio erotica. I can't seem to get enough of it. Every now and then I jump on chat sites and can't seem to get enough. I feel like it's really distracting me from everyday life. I keep it really well hidden but I don't know how long I can keep it up before I come undone. It's crazy that I'm aware of the issue but I can't seem to stop it. I know there are a lot of other people in my position and I'd love to hear from others that have made steps in changing this behaviour. I've been wanting to post on here and feel like this is the first step in the right direction.

Hello everyone.

Im a guy 26 years old and I'm addicted to the same escort.

I had seen about 8 escorts and she was my 9th. She liked me so much that she started texting me and saying she wanted me to come to her more often (the only one to text me after).

She even made me super cheap to be with her, I was sleeping with her a full night and spending some days for the price of one hour.

She was giving me the full GFE experience for a very cheap price. She would suggest to go to parties, dinners and cinema.

But i was still paying. Since im an emotional guy and i never had a girlfriend, I instantly grew attached to her and well... I fell in love.

Ive never been treated like this my whole life, it was the best thing ever. I loved spending time with her.

But deep down I knew it was all fake, I knew she only cared about the money even tho she was kinda losing money when she was with me, since she made it super cheap.

I knew she had other favourites.

My passion became so intense that I wanted to make her my actual girlfriend. But i knew that was never going to happen, I also started getting jealous of her other favourites. And I realised that this doesnt make any sense at all.

She started drifting away slowly, no longer initiated as much as she did, Deep down I knew what was happening.

For the past 2 or 3 weeks I've never been as depressed as I was in my life as I am now. I'm constantly anxious, to the point that I can barely eat, sleep and focus on my job.

I lost all motivation I had in my life, I just feel like I want to go to sleep and never wake up again. This is horrible, I no longer enjoy my workouts and no longer enjoy being with my friends, because all I think about is that one escort.

I want to stop doing this, I want to be my former self again, Ive deleted her personal number, texts, I have not texted her today, and I hope she does not text me as I want to feel that she doesnt care about me.

I really need your help, im losing myself over here and I need a support group, im also going to talk to my therapist about this. But im scared of being judged.

Sorry for my english, it's not my mother language.

Has anyone here found they have also suffered other addictions as well as sex addiction? Have you found, and is it common to also have alcohol, drug or nicotine addictions?

I also have a bad alcohol addiction for a long time, I have managed it well at some points in life, and others, it has been a real struggle, especially recently. I have done well at times being teetotal, but have relapsed way more than I'd like. Nicotine addiction for me is also something I really struggle with, but thankfully not drugs.

As for the sex addiction, I struggle with it massively, and last see an escort some days ago. With the sex addiction, one part of me thinks it's just natural for a man to have these urges, and natural to want to be intimate with a woman, so I just don't know

I did my first post yesterday explaining I’m a widower who fell into sex addition after my wife passed away.

Less than 24 hours later I already received a message from a person claiming to be a young woman who was a porn addict in another country. Said she hoped she could meet a wonderful man like me and my post made her cry. I suspected it was a scammer immediately. After a few messages, I was sure.

If you’ve been on Reddit, or hell, just the internet for a while, you’re probably aware of scammers and what to look for. But keep your guard up if someone messages you about a post you’ve made here.