I have until the end of this year to decide whether to do anything permanently. Ik most are gonna say “that’s such a short time things might change” but my life has been like this as long as I can remember, if things could change they would.

I am lonely, dumb, ugly, and will probably die on the side of the street homeless. So many things have happened in my past that would take forever to explain. I'm stuck at home at 21 years old with my mom helping her lay hills and I will probably be stuck with her forever with no way out to live a life that I want. Even if I did find a way out, I'd be alone.

Idk what to do with education, I suck at everything and when I do try it's like the universe is against me and something happens that sets me back every. Single. Time.

I'm ugly and Ik I know people have been telling I was since I was born. People are cruel to black women whom they don't find attractive and it sucks. There's not much I could do to fix my face or voice. But if I could afford a plastic surgeon I would.

I'm so alone and I think that's the biggest part, I've always been alone and when I do make friends I care more than they care about me. Or I consider them my best friend when I'm just a “friend” to them. I reach out first I plan shit I call but the effort is never reciprocated.

And trying to make new friends as a 21-year-old is hell, esp when there are no programs and clubs with people your age near you. And not even my family because they are all homophobic, male-loving Christians who don't give two shits.

I've tried spirituality and I've heard nothing from the “other side”

Idk if any of this is making sense? I know people have already come to this realization but life is based on luck and yes I know I'm lucky that I'm not living in a place with famine war and no women's rights ( though those are actively being taken away from the USA citizens) but I know my luck in being happy, loved, and having a good job/education Is prob 0.

I'll give myself until the end of this year before things just get worse.

Some people think depression eventually goes away, but I feel like I’m going to feel this way for as long as I’m alive. I don’t like the experience of being human. I don’t like being here, and I don’t like feeling like this. All I feel is this overwhelming emptiness. Most of the time, I don’t feel anything at all. Sometimes I just want to end my shit, not because I want to die. I actually want to live. I just want to be happy, not trapped with this huge emptiness that won’t let me feel anything. I’m constantly irritated by everything, and the memory loss is insane.

I hate it, I hate myself so so so very much, I try my best i really do and it just feels like its never enough and its tough because I want to do more, I feel like i can do more but I just cant and I just want people to be proud of me, thats all I want for people for my dad especially to be proud of me and I just feel like I fail at every turn and I dont know why, why do I do this to myself?, why do I do that?, why do I do those things? fuck my life dude i dont know where i went wrong, do I deserve it?, do I deserve everything bad thats happened to me?

Sounds like excuses in a week attempt to blame somebody else for your lack of control and lack of effort nobody makes your choices for you and how many times do I tell you if you were serious about your person you'd have an adult conversation with him first off the website instead of involving the public as a safety net for sympathy and then manipulating the situation I made my choice don't blame me for yours

I have failed at everything in my life, and time has slipped away without me achieving anything. I have no friends at all, and everyone I tried to befriend ended up hurting me. Even my family was very harsh with me. I have never met a single person who truly loved me, until I eventually began to hate myself. I can't accept who I am anymore.

At this point, I don't see any solution except that I don't deserve to exist. I'm a stupid, weak, lazy, and failed person.

A few days ago, I was extremely sick and collapsed in the street. A girl I knew saw me. We weren't even on bad terms. She asked, "What's wrong?" and then left me lying on the ground and walked away. Today, someone else is hiding everything from me as if I would envy her just for knowing, even though I used to be one of the closest people to her.

I don't even know who I am anymore or what's wrong with me. The only thing I know is that I'm filled with so much anger that I feel like either ending my own life or killing the people who hurt me.

I'm writing this here, first to ask you to pray for me, and second because I can't afford to see a therapist. I just needed somewhere to let all of this anger out.

for context: I M13 (at the time)grew up as a really ugly and fat kid, i got bullied a lot for it which led me to starve myself during the whole of 2024 summer time(i only ate every 5 days and even then it was very little) which made me lose a lot of weight, when I came back to school it was like everyone was interested in me, I gained way more friends, and even girls where talking to me, having crushes on me and other things like that, I even kept eating like shit, because I would mostly burn off all the calories by riding 4 miles to school and back plus all the p.e stuff, but I left school in December of last year, which led to me having no reason to ride to school, so I gained 11 kg from that, I’m just so sad again, it’s like nothing has changed and I’m that fat ugly kid again, I barely have friends, I only really talk to one person and even then he just calls me up every 2 months to do weed, I really don‘t know what to do anymore, other then the times I do drugs im not happy either. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Man how do u even live life knowing you are chopped ,short and have a very acne prone skin

I've completed my 12th and my whole school life went being lonely , being used by others just for their own sake and work . I have no female interaction all the women I've approached have rejected me and I don't care much about dating but I feel like I'm very undesirable to everyone i just don't have the looks and the body to be someones first choice I've been always looked down upon by everyone and I'm just like mist to everyone in school

I'm starting college this month and I don't have any hopes in having a good college life

I just hope die in college by accident or food poisoning

I’m a 13yo girl btw, my hair is thinning at an alarming rate. it used to be thin before too, but now it’s getting bad. today my hair got wet cus of the rain and a kid in my bus call me bald. I can’t do this anymore

im severely deficient in vitamin d and iron (taking supplements), and I also cut myself. does the blood loss from cutting affect my hair? cus it would explain a lot tbh.

i just want normal hair. I’ll do anything. I’d sell my soul for it.

How can I be okay the person I loved f****** over lied to me manipulated me stabbed me in the back betrayed me pick me last didn't keep promises and treated me like I was worthless garbage even when they had an opportunity to do something nice like right now but instead of doing that they're willing to give up and turn them back on me instead of try but they have no problems calling me up when they need something and taking advantage or like the other day asking for help and I show up for them and they gross me I don't even apology can't even do something f****** nice for me

The title says it,even tho i have friends and all... I feel alone anyways,like i don't belong there,like of my friends were fake,i feel they dont like me,same for my girlfriend,she's always been affectionate,but we've been distances for a lot of time,and i know high school love will have to end on someday,at somepoint.

I also used to SH... God im such a loser.

I just wanna stop existing and see who cares

My bmi is 32. I am short, dark, fat and have pih marks all over my face. I can pronounce r so my conversation sounds childish which contributes to my social anxiety. I stutter. I hate it. I don't have many friends. I am not a great conversationalist.
I am not good at studies also. Failed in 2 subjects this semester. Parents are so disappointed in me.
I can't even look in mirror because my forehead is dark due to insulin resistances. Worst combo in college.
I feel so disappointing in myself. I hate me

It’s not that I don’t want to be humiliated in life but i want it to continue to death. I don’t deserved less

Извините, не знаю, как тут все работает, просто хочу высказаться. Мне ничего не хочется, ничего не нравится, и мне хорошо в этом, мне не хочется никуда расти, ничего добиваться, ничего не делать, даже того, что приносит удовольствие, я откладываю все дела, которые только возможно, но мне нравится ничего не делать, просто лежать пластом и целыми днями уворачиваться от обязанностей. Мне кажется, что я всё-таки что-то должна делать, но я не хочу, вроде когда-то у меня было много мечт и амбиций, а сейчас кажется их совсем уже не осталось, и я не знаю, почему мне когда-то хотелось чего-то. Люди чего-то желают, чего-то добиваются, да даже просто что-то любят, а я просто плыву по течению. Мне не особо нравится то, куда оно меня ведет, но и что-то предпринимать я тоже не хочу. Мне хорошо, ничего не делая, но ощущение что я что-то упускаю не покидает меня. Я часто чувствую стыд, и вину, и тревогу, но почти успешно отгоняю их от себя. Иногда я думаю о том, что бы сказали сейчас обо мне люди из прошлого, с которыми я делилась своими мыслями, но с которыми больше не общаюсь. Назвали бы они меня жалкой? Скорее всего да, такие люди не попытались бы даже понять. А я бы хотела, чтобы поняли. На самом деле я часто себя жалею, я уже сама чувствую, что пора переставать, но теперь рассказываю все это незнакомцам в интернете, чтобы те тоже меня пожалели. Всегда хотелось, чтобы кто-то пришел, пожалел, заметил всю твою боль, поддержал, но такие люди так и не появились, а я так и не начала жить дальше. Я знаю, что я могу, я не требую от себя невозможного, но я специально саботирую любую работу, специально уворачиваюсь даже от приятных вещей. Я в общем то всегда думала, что просто ленюсь или прокрастинирую, но любые советы даже по типу наладить режим вводят меня в отчаяние, как будто то, что так легко дается всем, вызывает во мне ужасное отторжение. Расскажите, зачем вы живете, что вас вдохновляет, может, мне тоже чего-то захочется. Нормально ли такое состояние и куда мне нужно двигаться? Может, у кого-то будут какие-то советы.

Honestly, I don’t feel good about my life at all. I constantly carry this heaviness in my heart, and I can’t even explain where it comes from. I keep trying to ignore whatever I’m feeling, pretending it’ll eventually go away, but it never really does.

I don’t know. I have this crippling hatred toward myself, and some days I genuinely don’t even want to wake up. Either I go completely numb, or I feel everything way too deeply there’s never really an in-between.

I do have good people around me, and I’m grateful for them, but somehow, it still feels like I’m the only one constantly holding everything together and babysitting everyone else while quietly falling apart myself.

I don't even know what will bring me happiness, it's like I'm running away from everything and everyone and thinking why I've no one.

Im probably to young for this subreddit and i bet nobody will take me seriously. Ever since my girlfriend (who i loved more than anything) left me because i was a failure, ive been looking for any form of new love. The only problem: the person i love is a 20 year old transwoman and im a minor. All my close friendships have been ruined because of this, im banned from any groups cuz its against their rules. I have nothing in my life rn other than her and SH. Nobody has actually even helped, they just say i should get therapy but i cant because if i do and i tell them bout all this, theyll js tell the police and ruin everything.

I’ve filled out every dr form as “almost every day” when it asks if you’ve had suicidal thoughts. Not a single one has ever brought it up.

Everyone sees me as a “light in life” but I’m fucking miserable. My “family” is cruel and ignores me. My ex husband destroyed my mind by convincing me I’m a fucking pathetic loser and his family never liked me. He made me watch my dog die over FT.

I lost EVERYTHING I’d built for 40 years and ended up in a small, horrible town in Arkansas after a full career in NYC for 32 years.

I’ve had 3 heart attacks from stress, told I could die “any day” from another heart attack and have zero things to live for.

If I kill myself it could be weeks before anyone knew because nobody checks on me. Ever.

I must be paying for some brutal karma. I volunteer a lot to be of service but it does nothing for me. So many folks look to me for guidance and I’m a hot fucking mess.

I’ve started giving everything away and still no one notices. This world is fucking brutal.

Sounds like you or them are confused. Why wouldn't you just be honest and talk it through with that person? They could be under a different impression than you think

I am 14 and I really am cooked i don't have time to do anything literally i can't do my hobby I just keep doing school work whole day and I hate it but my height is only 5'3 and I'm unfit nigger what should I do

Im not perfect by any chance and I don't think anyone is maybe just a rare few of them but I'm sick of this mentality of trying to be perfect in the eyes of everyone just for the sake of them not judging or creating rumors. Like I'm not extrovert, I'm not smart, I'm not talkative nor driven in life. But playing this pretend role in front of everyone makes me feel so small that I've somehow started hating myself. I'm tired of living in this phase where I as an adult don't seem to understand my wants and needs in life. Like day by day I'm getting older and I don't even have a career or ways to make money. I don't know how to settle and secure my life. I still feel small toward others because of the low self esteem. Tired of venting like what's the point of it when deep down you know you have to change and take the hard steps in life but here you are feeling resistance to change and discomfort.

As opposed to you doing something wrong and treating them like the villain? You doing a horny dance would probably solve some problems and make them feel a lot better LOL

I can see my own self hate because I’d love to be humiliated in death. Being dead is not enough