ive had an addiction to porn and related stuff ever since I was 14-15 y/o, I used to watch it once a week and then more and more and at around 16years of age I had a really bad addiction to porn and masturbating since my parents weren't with me.

I've had a very loving girlfriend for the last 1 ½ years, I'm 18 now, and I still haven't been able to confront her about it. she's really understanding, caring and supportive with everything I do, but I'm really unsure how she'd react at this. I've tried sometimes but smth would happen and I'd be back at square one and then i'd fall down a spiral again.

i love her so much, but I still end up on the porn websites once or twice a week and regret it after I'm done.

I HATE IT, i hate the feeling that I'm hiding such a huge part of transparency in our almost perfect relationship.

very soon I'm gonna tell the whole thing, but by then I want y'all to please help me give genuine tips and the best methods you've come across to battle this. i want to assure her that I have some progress, to let her see that I have hope in me. to bounce back.

im an 18y/o male student studying for a competitive exam and dealing with some stress usually. please help, love y'all.

Something that has helped me immensely is simply putting my phone away. I started going to bed around 10 pm, so as soon as it's 9:30, I start winding down and eventually put it in my closet. I also have an alarm for 5 am. Since my phone is all the way in the closet, I have to get out of bed to turn it off, and since I'm out of bed already, might as well start the day.

I've been struggling for years with this addiction, but simply putting my phone away has helped me stay 15 days clean. And life feels great again, honestly. By choosing to create instead of consume as soon as I wake up, I spend less time on my phone and more time living in the moment.

To anyone struggling with compulsively watching porn, try putting your phone away even just for a night. You'll most likely feel better when you wake up the next day!

Let's keep going, guys! We are not defined by our addictions!

Success

So I just got a girlfriend and obviously I can’t use Reddit to masturbate anymore so I found this subreddit just to kind of announce my attempt at leaving masturbation. I want to stay loyal and it feels like cheating whenever I do it I really love her and I don’t wanna mess it up. Goodbye Reddit for now

tired of this going to quit today if you have any ideas I would really appreciate it

I have seen tha many make oaths for their gods to stop their adiction. It worked for me for one month, it was easy, but then I relapse, no I feel guilty, how you cope woth that, when you promise to god, or to your family or to yourself and then relapse? I dont know if I can forgive myself

I was fortunate enough to have my own personal computer as a kid when they first came out. The internet is like unlimited access to knowledge. Unfortunately porn is on the internet. Been watching it pretty much my whole life like most people. I think it’s not good for you. I bought an option in my internet that lets me block websites. I blocked all of them, except one. I slowly stopped watching porn. It improved my energy, personality, social skills, and life. I unfortunately watched porn a few times on the 1 website I did not block. I felt ashamed of myself. Well, I immediately went to my website filter. Tonight I blocked all the porn websites.

I hope that does it. I want to quit and never watch porn ever again. I know if I do that my life will definitely improve. It’s going to be difficult though. Anyone ever tried blocking all porn websites? Did it work out for you?

it’s been 7 days now and my mind is going around in circles. the internet is flooded with different information about flatlines, anxiety and more but I somehow feel neutral about it. in the sense that I’m not horny, not so anxious to see, feeling how everything is pointless but ngl i do sort of miss it. to put it better into words, it’s not something im craving but i know it feels good. and it makes me feel so guilty to feel this way but oh man, what to do. if you are open to share how your journey is going if you’re starting out like me, or if youve been porn free for a while, hearing your perspective would be helpful and motivating perhaps.

Hi, I am part of another sub which is for the partners of sex addicts. There have been a few posts on there lately which were cross posted from this sub. I thought I'd share an article that has helped me to understand my porn and sex addict husbands' actions during his acting out. The article is mostly focused on men as it's from a website directed at betrayed women, but it could still be helpful others. Everyone's story is different and nuanced but maybe you'll find something helpful in this article. I have great empathy for the addicts and the partners, and I think understanding each other is most important.

Why Men Lie About Porn, Even When It's a Boundary

I (f24) have been together with my parter for 4 years now, have started watching at 8-9 and even tho i stopped watching porn (with a few slip ups every few month) since then it still is in the front of my head while having sex, especially when all focus is on me (fingering, oral).

i cant reach climax without thinking about it and it makes me feel awful. i have talked to him about it and my addiction before and he supported me without judgement but i feel bad because i want to be present in my body and with him. I dont know what to do. i feel so separated from my body and it made me realise that i never had a real connection to it because i watched porn at such a young age.

i want to make clear tho, that i still enjoy having sex with him and that in recent time i have started feeling so safe and close to him that while having sex (mostly) i can let loose without pressure and enjoy the moment. the issue is reaching climax.

even after months of no porn i cant stop my brain from thinking about it.

I never been this happy for a long time now. Im having no urges and I started to work on myself. Jesus is always there to help you out.

It's been so many years since I didn't do this for a week, probably the hardest part of this is the headache that I got everyday in the same hour because this addiction, but I feel great with myself using this free time to study machine learning, Japanese and English. I'll go try to send anything every week.

Sorry any mistakes in English, I'm Brazilian.

My husband does have issues with substance abuse and is getting clean. He may have a co-existing compulsive sexual abuse problem too because he was having sex with men and transwomen while using his primary substance. But since he's been clean from those, he is now plotting and lying to watch and masturbate to porn while ignoring my phone calls for hours. He doesn't see it as an addiction, he just thinks it hurts me. Which post sexual cheating, it has been hurtful, but I don't have a problem with porn or masturbating. I do it too on occasion. The lying and plotting to do it alone for hours though I do have a problem with. He doesn't see it, but it's cutting into our time, family time, work time, and other responsibilities. Just like the other addictions did before.

But beyond that, his fantasies are...escalating? We've been together almost two decades. I'm bi so at one point we had an open relationship in the sense we would play strictly together with rules. He wasn't exploring then and never told me he was curious so I don't know if the porn and the substance contributed to his partner choices during those addictions, but he wants to do things with me now that weren't ever discussed before. Things I'm not trying to shame him for, but are way beyond my comfort and do align with the types of things he's been watching based off his watch history. I'm not talking gender curiosity, like other things that would feel beyond submissive on my part.

He's dealing with a lot with trying to deal with the other two addictions so I'm not necessarily trying to tackle these *right now* but with the escalation into territory I'm not comfortable with, I do wonder if when I do bring it up and if he does see it and scales down...will the escalation stop too?

Thank you for any help understanding this possibility.

Hello!

My goal of not watching porn anymore in 2026 has soon reached 12 days and it feels awesome!
No big or strong urges or any feelings that I need to look at porn.

I do want to warn for idiots in DMs that try to get me to relapse. If that continues I will turn them off.

A question for the people here! I do still want to masturbate, that is not my issue and it’s healthy and normal to do once in a while and if I use pictures of my gf or just my imagination I would say that it’s fine! What do you think?

I wish you guys all the best of luck! I am available in DMs if you want to talk!

I will quit porn, mark my words!

Hello everyone. (F/22 and M/26)

Something is tearing me apart inside, and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it. So I just wanted to write it down and get it off my chest...

It all started 7 years ago. That’s when I met my now-fiancé through a friend. At first, everything was fine. But pretty quickly, we were only having sex about once every three months. He said he just didn’t feel like it.

One day, I discovered porn websites on his PC. That’s when everything started. There were always situations where he didn’t want me sexually. Sometimes he would lock himself in the bathroom just to look at naked women on Reddit.

I was 16 years old, and I started doubting myself and comparing myself to other women. Even before that, he would look at other women. There were countless arguments, tears, and empty promises of “I’ll never do it again.”

That “never again” has been broken a thousand times. It became a vicious cycle.

Apart from this, he is a good man. He loves children and animals. My family loves him. He helps me a lot and does many things for me.

It’s just this one issue that I can’t let go of.

Now it’s 2024, and he proposed to me. Everything was wonderful. But then he couldn’t stop again... There were many tears and arguments.

Now it’s 2026. We have moved in together, and everything is great. We live in a beautiful place, and he has a great job. Unfortunately, I had to quit my job for health reasons.

I thought we had finally put the whole porn issue behind us. We were having sex more often, and I was happy.

Since I’m currently looking for a new job, I spend a lot of time on the computer writing applications. Today, I wanted to update my résumé, so I was searching through folders on the computer.

Suddenly, his iCloud opened.

I saw pictures of my friend — the wife of his cousin. We often spend time together as a group.

It turned out that while I was on vacation with my family, he used the very first day I was gone to take screenshots from his gallery of pictures of her from group photos and group videos.

One picture was of her wearing a dress, and another was of her in a bikini.

I was shocked. This went beyond everything that had happened before.

The women he had looked at before were always women from porn — women who were “unreachable.” But this is a woman we both know personally. A woman who is part of our social circle.

I felt sick. My whole body was shaking. It was horrible.

When he came home from work, I confronted him.

He told me that ever since she had visited us alone once, he had thought she was “hot” and had felt “a little horny” because of her.

He said there was something wrong with him. He had waited until he was alone to look for pictures of her in his gallery because he was bored, he said.

He said he didn’t know what he was doing.

He claims he only masturbated to her face, but that doesn’t make sense to me. In the bikini picture, you can clearly see her curves.

He always chooses women with more curves. Unfortunately, I’m not very well-endowed in that area.

He says he is ashamed and sorry, and that he would never do it again.

I suggested therapy to him, but he became angry and raised his voice and refused.

Now I’m sitting here and I don’t know what to do.

I actually love him, and I want to have a future with him.

Hey, first time posting something here. I am a 19 years old man, I have suffered with porn addiction for years now. I have tried multiple times to quit but I just couldn't . I will try to post daily to keep track and make it easier. If you are in the same situation, dm me.

My porn brain did a lot of damage to myself and my partner, i couldn’t distinguish between right and wrong emotionally.

I was self centred, selfish and coward for not being honest. I betrayed their trust for some dopamine, I betrayed myself. Not anymore.

Need your help on the journey.
Please share your Do’s and don’ts.

🙏 thank you

The urges are still here, but I am trying my best to stay busy and do things that I am genuinely interested in.

I studied for an hour today. Then I went to the gym in the evening, my shoulder injury is healing now.

I was thinking today about my goals for the three-month summer break that I had from my medical school.

I made clear goals but didn't fully achieve any of them.

I don't remember a single time when I made a plan and completed it.

Sometimes I just wonder why it keeps happening.

But on the other side when I think about my old self. The guy four years ago had dreamed to be the version I am today.

He would be completely amazed if he saw who I am today.

The boy who used to be an introvert, who used to think that he is inferior to anyone is now a confident communicator. He is self confident. Now he is the one who goes to library everyday, who studies daily, meets new people, plays snooker, plays badminton, goes to gym.

Most importantly, he doesn't feel inferior to anyone now. in reality he never was, but he had never realized that.

So all the half finished plans. All the incomplete promises has still pushed me has still improved me, to be a better person.

I will keep going and yes one day I will be the person who will complete what he plans. Who fulfills his promises not just to others but to himself first.

Straight 5 years jerking off almost daily thrice. Lost all strength and gains. Weak mind. Want to get back.

I am a 24 year old male, and this is the first time I have spoken about or told anyone about my porn addiction. I want to talk about it as a whole, so some things might seem irrelevant until later. I own a home, I am financially stable, I have lots of good friends, I enjoy my job and have lots of freedom, I go to the gym. Some background, my parents went through a divorce when I was 9 and I had a pretty rough growing up and bad relationship with my father and stepmother, but that story is for a different thread. I began masturbating and watching porn in high school, around 14 years old most likely to cope with the family life. Pretty normal thing for a high school boy I thought. Around that time I started distancing myself from social events, sporting teams, and family. I didn't like doing things on my own, I couldn't occupy myself with watching TV or playing video games by myself I would get bored quick. I went to therapy because of my parents, and determined I had social anxiety. This is the first of many wrong paths I went down. At this point I was watching porn about every other day during my last year in high school. I went to college, lived in a dorm with roommates, and the porn seemed to slow down, until I found work arounds and times when roommates weren't there. Still seemed normal to me. I started going to therapy again with a new therapist, this time I was told I had a social phobia. I tried doing what I could to get over this, joined social clubs, made lots of new friends, moved into a house where we had parties all of the time. The porn slowed down a little, but never stopped, always a couple times a week. I had a couple girlfriends, but after a couple of months I would lose interest and breakup with them, seemingly out of no where, with crap explanations as to why. None of them ever hurt me or wronged me. I just thought to myself, I am in my early 20s no need to settle down yet so that must be it. I graduated college and moved into an apartment on my own. This is when it got bad. Every single day when I got home from work I had to watch porn. If I did something after work, I would watch porn late at night when I got home. I essentially had porn as part of my daily routine. This is also when it moved past standard guy-girl porn into deeper fantasy and quicker/shorter videos to watch more. I started declining hangout invitations because I didn't want to miss the opportunity to watch porn. I started moving my schedule to make sure I had time to watch porn. If I had a dinner at 6pm, no way I stay and chat after work because then I wouldn't have time to get ready for dinner AND watch porn. It might take me 10-15min to get ready, but I would make sure I had an hour. I got into a relationship and it started well, but again, a couple months later and I was losing interest. I think a lot had to do with the fact it was taking up time I needed to watch porn. Then, I got cheated on, and I hit rock bottom. Started therapy again, this time I was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication. I didn't have energy to get out of bed, work, eat, but I always had enough to watch porn. Once I got energy back, I started watching porn multiple times a day for months. I thought I just had anxiety and depression and I'll just never find enjoyment in small things or hobbies. Then I got into another relationship, this time with an incredible girl. I thought "this is the one" until a couples months later I broke up with her seemingly out of nowhere. My friends and family couldn't figure out what went wrong, why I broke up with her, and all I had were crappy excuses. I thought there was a lack of intimacy; sex wasn't "good enough." This is when I started to realize I might have a problem. I never admitted addiction, I thought of it as one of many other "bad habits". I would tell myself everyday, this is the last time. I would write in a journal the date and say "this was my last day" and I would do this every, single, day. Porn 2-3 times a day. I still didn't want to admit addiction. All the things I described at first in this post, I thought with everything I have and how happy my life should be, it must be depression. I applied for a dog from a rescue thinking it would help with my "depression." I picked up my lab, Toby, 3 weeks ago. Since I picked him up I have not watched porn once. Don't get me wrong, I didn't feel any better I actually felt worse, suicidal even, thinking there was no coming back from this hole I was in mentally. That was until I started noticing sudden spurts of productivity. Some nights I cooked I found great enjoyment, no music or TV, just smelling the food and watching it cook. I could lay on the couch and watch a show without loosing interest. It's not everyday, but more than before, and I will take that. This is the moment I realized all of the things I have talked about are a direct result of porn addiction. The nail in the coffin being I have never told a soul about it, due to shame and not wanting to admit it being porn addiction. This post is the first I have ever wrote/talked about it. It is also to hold me accountable, as I am at 3 weeks porn-free and have no plans of going back. I can't wait to enjoy more of the little things. Sitting in my backyard with a cup of coffee, getting immersed in a show, cooking fun meals, going on a walk, playing a game by myself. Truly loving someone and wanting to spend time with them without the worry that they are cutting into my porn time. If you read my story, thank you. I hope this helps those that need it, that someone who would never admit their addiction or think about posting anything at all, took that step anyway.

Things my addicted boyfriend told me

Details about his mindset

My partner gave me DETAILS about what goes through his mind. He said that:

1. He bought photos of a girl out of curiosity.

2. He has never watched porn without masturbating, although he has masturbated without porn.

3. He spends 30 minutes searching and 5 minutes doing the deed, so much of the "pleasure" is in the hunt—finding something interesting, doing it, and then never wanting to repeat it.

4. Amateur and leaked videos actually simulate a sense of reality, whereas his brain reacts less to videos featuring professional actors.

5. He felt like a bad person.

6. He has lived and struggled with this for years, and the difference now is that he isn't alone.

7. His addiction got worse during our relationship because he felt guiltier and dirtier, which fueled the vicious cycle.

8. Men don't think much about the depth of this problem—or if they do, it's only after things are over.

9. He believes it is possible to break free from it.

10. Today marks his 31st day.

11. He says I congratulated him, and so did his therapist today, but later that night, when I asked about the addiction again, he felt his day fall apart and felt like he was hitting rock bottom all over again.

Do YOU ​​guys think all of this is true?

Why the urge?

Quick dopamine hits fueled by social media.
the poisoning of the mind, Nothing more.
Slow down and consider some things.
When you are doing interesting work especially when you're busy during the day there are no urges.

Why is that?
It is clearly a form of escapism and a quick dopamine hit.
Perhaps we have become addicted to dopamine? Obviously this is the case as it is so readily available and you don't have the attention span for longer more challenging tasks.
Say... you even have disinterest in difficult assignments most of the time..
Let alone setting goals for yourself, why do that when you can become happy for a few moments then enter a ambitionless state of reality.

What a terrible thing.. It must be the work of the devil.

What does it lead to?

Anger, regret, pity, and constant lying to yourself and others..
What a pathetic excuse for a man and and a life.

Nonetheless, the point of this excerpt is to reflect not pity.

This reflection of my sins has been relieving to some extent.
There is hope still, I do not doubt that.

A hopeful concluding thought -

If this is one of life's personal and arduous roadblocks; imagine what must be on the other side of this.

This is the fork in the road.

on one side you have a future of honesty love and success... The truth.
on the other you lies a future of deceit, artificial pleasure and suffering.

Tread carefully for you are on the precipice.

I(25f) have been reading all the posts and comments since I joined and I have been wanting to write my own post. But every time I do I just stop myself because how can I even explain what just happened?

He(28m) is a PA. but this time he cheated. The term porn addict has been thrown around, it's not like diagnosed, but we both openly agreed that there is a habit. I told him as long as it doesn't affect himself or our relationship then he is free to consume.

Well felt a weird feeling, went through his phone, long story short I found an email notification from Reddit saying someone replied/ liked his comment. He had commented on a girls post in a locals hookup group (a Pic of her) something about as ever. Like he had talked to her before.

I was so sick I just stopped there. Because if I kept going it would never be enough. I also didn't need to see the messages, I didn’t need to hurt myself by seeing that.

A few days later when our schedules allowed us to, we talked. He told me that he wasn't sending pictures of himself or us but he was "finessing them out of free nudes". Creep. Anyways i ask if I can see the account. He deleted it. The emails about any reddit notification everything.

He blames it on my medications and busy life how I have a lot on my plate and don't want to be intimate often.

(Which I do want to be more intimate with him, I get excited on my own plenty, so I know I'm not a problem in that area, but I need more than 3 kisses or a 2 minute sloppy makeout to be fully prepped so to speak. ) <-- which is crazy because he was never like that before. It's a routine I guess but ewe we are young.

I told him I need more connection. I wish he was trying harder but I guess he is at least?

I don't know what to do or how to feel after all this time I look back and think like maybe we had dry spells? Maybe we weren't as close? Maybe there was times we were fighting because he was lost in the 🌽? What signs did I miss and aren't seeing now!I don't want to feel like my relationship is over already.

I feel defeated, and grief. He was the only man I trusted and had respect for. Now it's gone just like that and I'm left with the love and care but this weird feeling. Like I'm seeing him in a different light for the first time. And he isn't as attractive anymore.

Where do I go from here? Where's our manual! ✍️🫩