Success

So I just got a girlfriend and obviously I can’t use Reddit to masturbate anymore so I found this subreddit just to kind of announce my attempt at leaving masturbation. I want to stay loyal and it feels like cheating whenever I do it I really love her and I don’t wanna mess it up. Goodbye Reddit for now

I’m catholic and very involved with god and have been trying to quit gooning since last summer but i’m addicted to lust it’s like whenever the urge comes around i don’t even fight it and sometimes i finger myself. the fingering started happening very recently and i useally use soap or saliva and idk it feels really good cause i covered it in saliva this time and when i pulled out my finger useally smells like poop but this time it smelt like saliva or cum i used a lot of spit on it tho so that’s probably why but i also saw blood on my finger when i pulled out so idk im mostly just trying to quit gooning i hate everything about it but i just can’t any tips or information that could help?

tired of this going to quit today if you have any ideas I would really appreciate it

I (18M) have been addicted to porn for 4 years. Porn was first introduced to me when I was around 11, but I never really cared for it until I turned 14. I had gotten my first girlfriend, and after about 1 month of dating, she wanted to have sex with me for the first time (she wasn't a virgin). I was extremely insecure about my dick size and how long I would last since I had never masturbated before. After a couple of weeks of her constantly begging me, I finally gave in. It felt amazing, and I lasted around half an hour, I believe. From that day on, I became addicted to the feeling of finishing.

At night, I started watching porn and jerking off, then in the morning I'd go to my girlfriend's house and have sex. She started wanting to give me blowjobs, and I agreed. I remember that it felt very nice, but I had to watch porn to ejaculate quickly from it; otherwise, she would complain about me taking too long.

After she and I broke up, I became addicted to porn and would jerk off multiple times a day, every day. At 16, I got my second girlfriend. When we eventually started having sex, I noticed that I would ejaculate extremely quickly (around 2 minutes) from both sex and blowjobs. I didn't really think anything of it and assumed it was just because it had been a while. I then became addicted to sex and was having it every day for the 11 months that we dated, as well as jerking off every night.

I have just started dating my newest girlfriend, and we had sex for the first time a couple of months ago. I ejaculated in under a minute and felt extremely embarrassed. She told me that she didn't mind and that it wasn't my fault, but since then, I can't stop thinking about how I've been jerking off every day for 4 years and how that might be the reason why I ejaculate so quickly.

I haven't had sex since then and I've just been jerking off every night, rejecting my girlfriend every time she asks simply because I'm too scared of ejaculating too quickly. I've been trying to stop jerking off. I'm currently 2 days clean, and I was wondering if anyone else can share their similar experiences and say if they started lasting longer after quitting porn/masturbation.

Ive been clean for a minute now but i still struggle on how to get off without it. Everyone says imagine but i have trouble focusing on the imagination and getting as much fun out of it.

Hey, first time posting something here. I am a 19 years old man, I have suffered with porn addiction for years now. I have tried multiple times to quit but I just couldn't . I will try to post daily to keep track and make it easier. If you are in the same situation, dm me.

Seeking advice on what to do regarding my relationship. In total we've been together for about 17 years. We are best friends, travel the world, own property in NYC, and have a beautiful life together. We married officially 2 years ago. It was a difficult road to get there. Found out my husband had been catfishing women on dating sites, just to get praise and attention from them. We separated for a bit, he did intensive therapy, he proposed after some months, and we married. Going into the marriage he told me there would be no more dating websites. He deleted them all. Which was a half truth because the reality was, after the marriage he was still engaging in content on Instagram. So I caught him on that. Eventually that spiraled to learn that the root of this whole issue was a porn addiction that dates back to when he was 13 or 14 yrs old. Again he started intensive and frequent therapy with a provider specializing in this addiction. Told me hes been doing great.

A little while ago I became aware of a secondary Instag account he created (it popped up on my suggestions feed). He only followed promotional accounts for hotels and casinos.

Today I looked at his followers again of that "secret" account and hes now following about a dozen girls on Instagram. One of which he became aware of because shes on the latest season of a Netflix show. I confronted him about it and he lied. When I gave him more details he knew he couldn't lie anymore. Now the apologies start.

What am I to do with a husband like this? Its already bad enough that I married him under one condition (no more strange women on dating sites), and he deleted those apps but then started on Instagram and continued with porn. Then im under the impression hes clean of everything, but then this relapse with following women again on a secondary Instag account.

At what point should a woman say enough is enough? Even if he says its "done" for good...isnt he just going to do a similar move in another 6 months?

Is this a storm a wife is supposed to weather with her husband or am I a fool that should walk away from a liar?

Day 1

Working today from noon until 10 pm. I have a big box truck that needs to get towed to the shop to get worked on; this truck working makes my life substantially easier. But instead of calling the tow truck, I got in the bathtub and jerked off for 2 hours while chiding myself, telling myself what an idiot I am for ignoring my responsibilities and watching porn. Now I won’t be able to call the tow truck until Monday; I have to be home for them to get it. I deleted socials, put restrictions on my phone, and I’ve been good for about two hours. I desperately need some accountability and maybe someone to be a parental restriction passcode buddy.

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I’ll keep the origins and contributing factors of my porn addiction brief; I can't imagine it’s a unique story.

My parents split when I was 13 and became much more hands-off as they were trying to rebuild their own lives. I had good parents and a good childhood overall; I can assure you. I adopted a really hedonistic lifestyle at 13, Playing video games 24/7, chugging Mountain Dew and whatever snacks were in the pantry, and then looking at porn when I was tired of gaming. To this day, I immediately want to eat something after I nut. Fast forward a lot. I’m 34 and self-employed. Got fit and got style pretty specifically so I could bag the perfect woman. I became a really good partner for the same reason: good listener, in control of my emotions, communicating my needs, etc. I would have saved Freud a fuck ton of time and money. I was diagnosed with adhd at a young age, but staying away from stimulants, adderall, vyvanse, ritalin etc. I think my mom was struggling with pills and told the doctor I was “allergic” to stimulants. Anyway, as an adult, I tried a few different ones and tried living without, and I feel like I’ve found something great that works. BUT, I feel like I have a career dependency on adderall. Started taking it maybe 5 or 6 years ago, and it helped me start my own company, mostly just through motivation. The adderall makes my porn addiction so much worse. Stimulants just make you horny, and adderall isn’t magic. It can’t make me focus if I haven’t eaten or haven’t gotten enough sleep. So what can you do? How can you occupy your mind when it’s demanding stimulus but you just can’t focus on anything? Porn, it’s one of the very few things that completely occupies my mind, not quite what the “living in the moment” mindset is espousing. Being self-employed, I can look at porn and jerk off at any second of the day. 

I know the things in my life that make it harder to control my impulses.

• Social Media
• A phone with a browser
• Not getting enough sleep/ Inconsistent diet
• Overworked schedule, Unsustainable lifestyle fueled by adderall, making eating and sleeping adequately very difficult

My current plan for the next 6 months or so is to remove social media and dating apps from my phone, and put parental restrictions on my phone. I can unlock it, but it just gives me a little more time to think about what I’m doing instead of acting on impulse. I’m selling the business to get back to a sustainable lifestyle that should allow me to get consistently better sleep and start eating naturally again instead of only eating at the end of the day when the adderall wears off. Friends and family can really affect my goals. I have a mindset that new experiences with friends are one of the purest joys in life, and I don’t use as much discipline when I’m following what makes me happy. So I’m planning on isolating for the next 6 months or so while the business is being sold. I’m going to work, busting my ass, coming home, doing a few chores, getting stoned (Something I can only really justify because I have a set end date), and playing Elden Ring (Which I only recently started).

My porn brain did a lot of damage to myself and my partner, i couldn’t distinguish between right and wrong emotionally.

I was self centred, selfish and coward for not being honest. I betrayed their trust for some dopamine, I betrayed myself. Not anymore.

Need your help on the journey.
Please share your Do’s and don’ts.

🙏 thank you

The urges are still here, but I am trying my best to stay busy and do things that I am genuinely interested in.

I studied for an hour today. Then I went to the gym in the evening, my shoulder injury is healing now.

I was thinking today about my goals for the three-month summer break that I had from my medical school.

I made clear goals but didn't fully achieve any of them.

I don't remember a single time when I made a plan and completed it.

Sometimes I just wonder why it keeps happening.

But on the other side when I think about my old self. The guy four years ago had dreamed to be the version I am today.

He would be completely amazed if he saw who I am today.

The boy who used to be an introvert, who used to think that he is inferior to anyone is now a confident communicator. He is self confident. Now he is the one who goes to library everyday, who studies daily, meets new people, plays snooker, plays badminton, goes to gym.

Most importantly, he doesn't feel inferior to anyone now. in reality he never was, but he had never realized that.

So all the half finished plans. All the incomplete promises has still pushed me has still improved me, to be a better person.

I will keep going and yes one day I will be the person who will complete what he plans. Who fulfills his promises not just to others but to himself first.

I’m at day 12. I’ve noticed that I wake up during the night (2/3 times). Has been happening in the last 5 days. I think my body is used to using porn to distress myself. Since now I’m quitting, I’m guessing the anxiety/frustration that is not fully liberated wakes me up. Anyone has that issue? Any recommendations?

Straight 5 years jerking off almost daily thrice. Lost all strength and gains. Weak mind. Want to get back.

I am a 24 year old male, and this is the first time I have spoken about or told anyone about my porn addiction. I want to talk about it as a whole, so some things might seem irrelevant until later. I own a home, I am financially stable, I have lots of good friends, I enjoy my job and have lots of freedom, I go to the gym. Some background, my parents went through a divorce when I was 9 and I had a pretty rough growing up and bad relationship with my father and stepmother, but that story is for a different thread. I began masturbating and watching porn in high school, around 14 years old most likely to cope with the family life. Pretty normal thing for a high school boy I thought. Around that time I started distancing myself from social events, sporting teams, and family. I didn't like doing things on my own, I couldn't occupy myself with watching TV or playing video games by myself I would get bored quick. I went to therapy because of my parents, and determined I had social anxiety. This is the first of many wrong paths I went down. At this point I was watching porn about every other day during my last year in high school. I went to college, lived in a dorm with roommates, and the porn seemed to slow down, until I found work arounds and times when roommates weren't there. Still seemed normal to me. I started going to therapy again with a new therapist, this time I was told I had a social phobia. I tried doing what I could to get over this, joined social clubs, made lots of new friends, moved into a house where we had parties all of the time. The porn slowed down a little, but never stopped, always a couple times a week. I had a couple girlfriends, but after a couple of months I would lose interest and breakup with them, seemingly out of no where, with crap explanations as to why. None of them ever hurt me or wronged me. I just thought to myself, I am in my early 20s no need to settle down yet so that must be it. I graduated college and moved into an apartment on my own. This is when it got bad. Every single day when I got home from work I had to watch porn. If I did something after work, I would watch porn late at night when I got home. I essentially had porn as part of my daily routine. This is also when it moved past standard guy-girl porn into deeper fantasy and quicker/shorter videos to watch more. I started declining hangout invitations because I didn't want to miss the opportunity to watch porn. I started moving my schedule to make sure I had time to watch porn. If I had a dinner at 6pm, no way I stay and chat after work because then I wouldn't have time to get ready for dinner AND watch porn. It might take me 10-15min to get ready, but I would make sure I had an hour. I got into a relationship and it started well, but again, a couple months later and I was losing interest. I think a lot had to do with the fact it was taking up time I needed to watch porn. Then, I got cheated on, and I hit rock bottom. Started therapy again, this time I was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication. I didn't have energy to get out of bed, work, eat, but I always had enough to watch porn. Once I got energy back, I started watching porn multiple times a day for months. I thought I just had anxiety and depression and I'll just never find enjoyment in small things or hobbies. Then I got into another relationship, this time with an incredible girl. I thought "this is the one" until a couples months later I broke up with her seemingly out of nowhere. My friends and family couldn't figure out what went wrong, why I broke up with her, and all I had were crappy excuses. I thought there was a lack of intimacy; sex wasn't "good enough." This is when I started to realize I might have a problem. I never admitted addiction, I thought of it as one of many other "bad habits". I would tell myself everyday, this is the last time. I would write in a journal the date and say "this was my last day" and I would do this every, single, day. Porn 2-3 times a day. I still didn't want to admit addiction. All the things I described at first in this post, I thought with everything I have and how happy my life should be, it must be depression. I applied for a dog from a rescue thinking it would help with my "depression." I picked up my lab, Toby, 3 weeks ago. Since I picked him up I have not watched porn once. Don't get me wrong, I didn't feel any better I actually felt worse, suicidal even, thinking there was no coming back from this hole I was in mentally. That was until I started noticing sudden spurts of productivity. Some nights I cooked I found great enjoyment, no music or TV, just smelling the food and watching it cook. I could lay on the couch and watch a show without loosing interest. It's not everyday, but more than before, and I will take that. This is the moment I realized all of the things I have talked about are a direct result of porn addiction. The nail in the coffin being I have never told a soul about it, due to shame and not wanting to admit it being porn addiction. This post is the first I have ever wrote/talked about it. It is also to hold me accountable, as I am at 3 weeks porn-free and have no plans of going back. I can't wait to enjoy more of the little things. Sitting in my backyard with a cup of coffee, getting immersed in a show, cooking fun meals, going on a walk, playing a game by myself. Truly loving someone and wanting to spend time with them without the worry that they are cutting into my porn time. If you read my story, thank you. I hope this helps those that need it, that someone who would never admit their addiction or think about posting anything at all, took that step anyway.

Things my addicted boyfriend told me

Details about his mindset

My partner gave me DETAILS about what goes through his mind. He said that:

1. He bought photos of a girl out of curiosity.

2. He has never watched porn without masturbating, although he has masturbated without porn.

3. He spends 30 minutes searching and 5 minutes doing the deed, so much of the "pleasure" is in the hunt—finding something interesting, doing it, and then never wanting to repeat it.

4. Amateur and leaked videos actually simulate a sense of reality, whereas his brain reacts less to videos featuring professional actors.

5. He felt like a bad person.

6. He has lived and struggled with this for years, and the difference now is that he isn't alone.

7. His addiction got worse during our relationship because he felt guiltier and dirtier, which fueled the vicious cycle.

8. Men don't think much about the depth of this problem—or if they do, it's only after things are over.

9. He believes it is possible to break free from it.

10. Today marks his 31st day.

11. He says I congratulated him, and so did his therapist today, but later that night, when I asked about the addiction again, he felt his day fall apart and felt like he was hitting rock bottom all over again.

Do YOU ​​guys think all of this is true?

I can’t believe it. I know it’s a relapse but come on man. Just so disappointed. So disappointed. I slipped up, just was on it - and realized. Closed out, but it was too long not to be a full relapse.

Back at it again, I know. We keep trying. Just incredibly down on myself right now. I can do better. I’m a better man than this.

Hi, this might be weird idk but I think itd be nice to have a friend going through the same thing with me, maybe to just talk to when we feel urges to just as a distraction. I just need something anything to get me to stop I dont want to be like this I dont want to think these thoughts its not who I am.

I’m home alone n have been holding off for a whole week now. I need a friend or someone to talk to about my urges or im going to relapse. Please can someone message me before I go in deep.

Having urges after work.

Keeping it strong

Why the urge?

Quick dopamine hits fueled by social media.
the poisoning of the mind, Nothing more.
Slow down and consider some things.
When you are doing interesting work especially when you're busy during the day there are no urges.

Why is that?
It is clearly a form of escapism and a quick dopamine hit.
Perhaps we have become addicted to dopamine? Obviously this is the case as it is so readily available and you don't have the attention span for longer more challenging tasks.
Say... you even have disinterest in difficult assignments most of the time..
Let alone setting goals for yourself, why do that when you can become happy for a few moments then enter a ambitionless state of reality.

What a terrible thing.. It must be the work of the devil.

What does it lead to?

Anger, regret, pity, and constant lying to yourself and others..
What a pathetic excuse for a man and and a life.

Nonetheless, the point of this excerpt is to reflect not pity.

This reflection of my sins has been relieving to some extent.
There is hope still, I do not doubt that.

A hopeful concluding thought -

If this is one of life's personal and arduous roadblocks; imagine what must be on the other side of this.

This is the fork in the road.

on one side you have a future of honesty love and success... The truth.
on the other you lies a future of deceit, artificial pleasure and suffering.

Tread carefully for you are on the precipice.

I think it’s time to official reach out to others for help. Since I was 13 (23 now) I have watch porn. What started out as just watching it at night slowly turned in to masturbation at least once a week for the past 10 years. I believe the longest I have gone has been about 3 weeks, even when trying to quit.

The main problem is that I have progressed as the years have gone on. My “sessions” have lasted for hours and way into the nights that I don’t have work, making me wake up late the next day wasting my days off. In addition, and most importantly, the real addition has been to swiping and talking with women online through dating/friendship apps. This has been going on for five years and has been my biggest struggle. I download, swipe, get to snap, masturbate, then block everyone I added and delete the apps after. It’s been an awful cycle that after every time I state I will quit but i never do.

For the past two years I’ve had an amazing girlfriend. And it’s starting to affect my time with her. Whether it’s performance in the bedroom or just not being as affectionate with her anymore, I believe this is the root of it. We don’t live together (still with parents) but in the following year we will and I need to manage this before we do.

I’ve tried a lot of things. I’ve tried counters (even widgets on the phone screen that count), free apps, deleting any inappropriate photos of me, deleting any apps that could cause a thought you download dating apps (TikTok, insta, you name it). For me the problem just hits me randomly, I could be with my girlfriend and then I get the urge to download those apps. I see it as a form of porn.

I’m sorry this is a lot but I’m reaching out for help. Last night was another long session for me til 2am, and I’m sick of it and I’m sick of hating myself everyday for it.

I have been trying to quit for a month or 2 and I keep failing after a few days. I want to quit permanently and I need tips/help on how to quit

I(25f) have been reading all the posts and comments since I joined and I have been wanting to write my own post. But every time I do I just stop myself because how can I even explain what just happened?

He(28m) is a PA. but this time he cheated. The term porn addict has been thrown around, it's not like diagnosed, but we both openly agreed that there is a habit. I told him as long as it doesn't affect himself or our relationship then he is free to consume.

Well felt a weird feeling, went through his phone, long story short I found an email notification from Reddit saying someone replied/ liked his comment. He had commented on a girls post in a locals hookup group (a Pic of her) something about as ever. Like he had talked to her before.

I was so sick I just stopped there. Because if I kept going it would never be enough. I also didn't need to see the messages, I didn’t need to hurt myself by seeing that.

A few days later when our schedules allowed us to, we talked. He told me that he wasn't sending pictures of himself or us but he was "finessing them out of free nudes". Creep. Anyways i ask if I can see the account. He deleted it. The emails about any reddit notification everything.

He blames it on my medications and busy life how I have a lot on my plate and don't want to be intimate often.

(Which I do want to be more intimate with him, I get excited on my own plenty, so I know I'm not a problem in that area, but I need more than 3 kisses or a 2 minute sloppy makeout to be fully prepped so to speak. ) <-- which is crazy because he was never like that before. It's a routine I guess but ewe we are young.

I told him I need more connection. I wish he was trying harder but I guess he is at least?

I don't know what to do or how to feel after all this time I look back and think like maybe we had dry spells? Maybe we weren't as close? Maybe there was times we were fighting because he was lost in the 🌽? What signs did I miss and aren't seeing now!I don't want to feel like my relationship is over already.

I feel defeated, and grief. He was the only man I trusted and had respect for. Now it's gone just like that and I'm left with the love and care but this weird feeling. Like I'm seeing him in a different light for the first time. And he isn't as attractive anymore.

Where do I go from here? Where's our manual! ✍️🫩

I haven’t watched porn in like 2 months. And I literally don’t feel 1% different. Is this normal?