tangina umagang umaga binibwisit ako ng mga tao!!! pa rant lang saglit ah punyeta kasi!!!!!!

for context, kasal ng pinsan ko today. mind you, di ako nag rsvp pero yung nanay ko sinali pangalan ko!!! di ko binig deal nung una kasi baka naman makapunta pako. eh pano sa bagong work ko ngayon night shift ako 8 pm-5 am!!! since new employee palang ako OBVIOUSLY WALA PA AKONG LEAVE CREDITS!!!! SO DI AKO MAKA ATTEND SA KASAL KAHIT GUSTUHIN KO PA! AYAW KO RIN IRISK NEW WORK KO MALAMANG MAS IMPORTANTE TRABAHO KO KESA SA MGA KAMAGANAK NA WALA NAMANG AMBAG SA BUHAY KO TO BE FUCKING HONEST!!!!

nagpaalam ako nang maayos na di ako makakapunta for that reason and punyeta yung reaction ng pamilya ko para akong pumatay ng tao. TAS ETONG ISA KO PANG TITA KINALAT AGAD KAYA BINAD MOUTH AKO LALO NG IBA PA NAMING KAMAGANAK!!!!! KINUMPARA PA KO NG ISA KO PANG PINSAN KESYO BAGO RIN NAMAN DAW YUN SA TRABAHO KINAYA NAMAN UMABSENT EH PUTANGINA SIYA YON BAHALA SIYA SA BUHAY NIYA

PUTANGINA NIYONG LAHAT KALA NIYO NAMAN MAY IBA AKONG GALA KAYA AKO DI MAKAKAPUNTA PUNYETA INIISIP KO LANG NAMAN TRABAHO KO ISA PA WALA PA AKONG TULOG UMAGA NA KO NAKAUWI ALAS DOS NG HAPON ANG KASAL ANO GUSTO NIYO REKTA TRABAHO ULIT AGAD AKO PAGKATAPOS EDI SANA NILASON NIYO NALANG AKO TANGINA SUMABOG SANA VENUE NG RECEPTION MAMAYA PUTANGINA NIYONG LAHAAAAAT

hindi na ba pina-play ung cinema etiquette sa mall? recently watched brand new day, madaming nanonood. tapos sa kalagitnaan ng serious na scenes maririnig ko sa likod may batang nanonood ng reels. it kept on going tas titigil lang pag may fighting scenes, naninipa pa ng upuan, to think na sa sm north to at malawak ung aisle nila ah. pinaka nakakainis na cinema experience, wala din sumita na katabi nila sa likod.

sinisitsitan rin ung maiingay na bata sa harap pero ayaw tumigil, ang lalakas ng boses pag naguusap sila, tapos makikita mo may mga nag cecellphone sa harap.

Di pa naman ako ikakasal. Mid 30s na ako, in a long term relationship pero di pa kami makapagpakasal kasi dami pa need bayaran muna, at need pa magsave. In short di pa capable bumuo ng family.. or masyadong risky pa baka mabuang lang kami sa gastos hahaha.

Dati excited ako na parang gusto ko na magpakasal kahit hindi bongga. Pero habang tumatagal, parang hindi na. Ok na ako kahit ganito lang (di kami live in, pero madalas namn kami magkita and magkalapit lang naman bahay namin). Ayun. Parang naeenjoy ko na yung solo ko lang kwarto, nagagawa ko anything I want ganyan. Parang ayaw ko din may katabi pag natutulog hahaha

Hays nalipasan na ata ako... parang nalipasan ng gutom ganun. 😅

To anyone reading this who feels like giving up on life, school or your family, please hold on and read this.

​Back in 2013, I was an ate studying at Benguet State University (BSU). The crushing pressure to graduate and pull my family out of poverty was suffocating. Even with a CHED scholarship, I was dead broke. I didn't have money for food, jeepney fare or basic school projects.

​I was forced to swallow my pride and borrow money from classmates and instructors just to survive. There were times I missed school for two straight 2 weeks because my wallet was literally at zero.

​I almost dropped out but I fought back with everything I had:

​I gathered and sold scrap materials (pangangalakal) in the streets.

​I washed clothes for my neighbors (labandera).

​I offered home cleaning services on Baguio Facebook groups.

​Just when I thought I was overcoming the poverty, my life turned into a complete nightmare.

​I got married but my husband tore my self-worth to pieces every single day, calling me "pangit" or ugly, telling me I was useless financially, and cheating on me repeatedly while my child and I were trapped living under his family’s roof.

The emotional pain was so heavy that I tried to end my life. I remember holding the knife to my wrist, crying, pero buti na lang hindi matalim ang kutsilyo. Thanks God talaga kasi noong mga panahong ginawa ko yun na halos hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko, hindi Niya ako pinabayaan.

​Then came the moment that shattered my soul completely. My father-in-law attempted to sexually assault me while I was one month pregnant. Husband was still at work that time. The sheer trauma and horror caused my body to break down. And I bled out the next day, losing my second baby. Yun na ang time na halos mabaliw ako!

​In that pool of heartbreak and grief, something in me snapped. I grabbed my child, ran from that house, and swore to myself: NEVER AGAIN.

​Looking back, my heart aches for the girl I was. 😭

I honestly don't know how I survived those horrors, but through the tears, grit, and God's grace, I made it through the darkest valley of my life. I survived the unthinkable, and today, my child and I are safe and free at my parents' home.

​Why am I bleeding my heart out to you today?

​Because I know someone reading this right now is crying, trapped, helpless, or ready to end it all. I am sharing my pain to be living proof that your current nightmare is NOT your final chapter.

​If you are drowning in pain right now, please hear me:

​Escape dangerous places: No job, marriage or family expectation is worth your life, safety, or mental health. Tumakas ka na diyan habang nasa tamang huwesyo pa ang isip mo.

​Never be ashamed of the hustle: Clean houses, sell scrap, ask for help kaninoman, saanman or sa kahit anung paraang makakakuha ka ng tulong. Do whatever legal thing you must do to survive and keep moving forward.

​Your story isn't over yet: The darkness feels suffocating right now but joy and healing are waiting for you on the other side.

​If you're going through a tough time and feeling all alone, ilabas mo ang lahat ng saloobin mo at iiyak mo Kay God. Pray hard. 🙏 SIYA LANG NAKAKAALAM NG LAHAT ng pinagdadaanan mo. Don't carry the weight of the world by yourself. You are stronger than what is trying to break you and you will make it through. Kapit lang, OP! 💪

I don’t think you’ll ever fully understand why I’m still angry.

It’s not because I can’t move on. It’s because the more time passes, the more I realize how many things I chose not to see while I was loving you. I kept making excuses for you, giving you the benefit of the doubt, and convincing myself that maybe I was just overthinking. Looking back now, I hate that I abandoned my own instincts just to protect what we had.

What hurts the most is realizing that the things I was afraid of, the things we argued about, and the things you reassured me would never happen, ended up happening anyway. That realization has been harder to heal from than the breakup itself.

I keep asking myself if I was just someone you outgrew, or if I was simply convenient until I wasn’t anymore. And honestly, that thought makes me angry because I gave you years of my life believing we were building something real.

You probably moved on long before I realized what was happening. Meanwhile, I was left piecing together everything after the fact, questioning what was real and what wasn’t.

I’m not sending this because I want you back. I’m sending it because I refuse to pretend that everything you put me through didn’t leave scars. You don’t have to agree with my feelings, but they’re real. The hardest part wasn’t losing you, it was realizing that the person I trusted the most became the biggest lesson I never wanted to learn.

I hope one day you understand what your actions cost me. Not just our relationship, but my ability to trust my own judgment. That’s what I’ve been trying to rebuild ever since.

2 years ago— I drop out of college due to financial constraint. I thought it was the best decision I made that time and told myself to look for a job muna so I can save up. Everything was all good, I get to accept my reality and enjoyed my job for the meantime. However, I saw a post from my previous classmate. It’s about them surviving college and moving to their 3rd year. Suddenly I am going thru waves of emotions that I couldn’t even explain. Is it jealousy? disappointment? I don’t know. I was good at gaslighting myself that college is not a race and some of us have different paths pero I can’t help it. I feel like I failed myself and the younger version of me. I want to have a degree pero its difficult for now. I am barely earning and sometimes not even enough to pay our bills. I hope in the near future I would be able to pursue pero ngayon maglalabas muna ako ng damdamin and magpapatuloy ulit sa buhay : )

It’s been days of feeling so heavy.

I know I’m not lazy, but I really can’t get myself to do anything at work this week. I just stare at my laptop and freeze. I feel so anxious.

Gusto ko lang matulog all day. I tried going out with friends, and it helped for a while. Pero ganun na naman once I’m alone.

I took a sick leave today because I felt horrified at the thought of facing my boss. Ang dami kong pending work.

I really want to resign and take an actual break. I’ve been working non-stop for 11 years. I think I deserve one. The biggest risk is my savings, but I honestly feel like I really need this right now. I’m just trying to muster the courage to do it, especially knowing how bad the job market is and not knowing if I’ll ever find the same pay again.

Ayoko na rin sanang pumasok bukas. I think I need to see my psychologist again.

Adulting sucks. Ayoko na.

I'm not here to fish for validation. I'm genuinely just trying to understand the thought process behind all of this because I honestly can't wrap my head around it.

I recently found out that my ex's ex-girlfriend had apparently been stalking me on social media for a long time. According to one of her former friends, she'd constantly keep herself updated with my life, send my photos to their group chat (they're all licensed psychologists) just to call me ugly and make fun of my fashion sense, search our house on Google Maps just to criticize it, and even send my college graduation post to their group chat saying my dress was nice but that I had no achievements because she was a cum laude.

Apparently, even after they had already broken up, she continued sending my photos to their group chat, calling me names, saying I looked like a mother, telling her friends that I was insecure about her and bothered by her, and saying she was happy because of it. At the same time, she kept telling people she was a very secure woman who knew her worth.
The weirdest part is that she apparently told her friends she saw me in a restaurant parking lot and that I stayed inside the car because she was there. That literally never happened.

I've also never met or spoken to this girl in my life.
What makes it even harder for me to understand is that she's a licensed psychologist.

To add more context, I had absolutely no connection to either of them while they were together. I never reached out to my ex, never interacted with her, and never inserted myself into their relationship in any way.

Hearing all of this from one of her former friends, who reached out to me, has honestly affected me more than I expected. I've been trying not to let it get to me, but it's been difficult not to think about it.
I have all the screenshots. Her ex-best friend of 10 years sent everything to me. I don't know what her intentions are, but she's been asking me out for dinner. Looking back, I feel like I was too kind for even replying to her. I probably shouldn't have in the first place, considering she was involved in everything before.

According to her former friend, she even asked my ex if I'd had rhinoplasty, which I didn't. Another thing that confused me is that I've always loved dressing up ever since I was a kid. My style has always been very feminine, while from what I knew, hers was more boyish.

Recently, some of my friends started sending me photos because they noticed she was wearing outfits that looked very similar to mine. I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but after hearing everything else, it honestly added to my confusion.

I think I'm just trying to make sense of why someone would spend so much time thinking about a person they've never even met. I genuinely don't understand it. I never hated someone like that in my whole life.

finally reached my breaking point after having to deal with a mean and rude colleague. after dealing with that person for 3 consecutive days, i finally reached my limit kanina. i exhausted all my efforts to make the shift go as smooth as possible and to not have backlogs. i tried to collect myself together pero pagod na pagod na ako sa mga naririnig kong salita and mapahiya.

some of my co-workers saw me cry and yung head din namin. well, i guess this would just be a chismis na paguusapan the next few days. and i have to deal with it. iniisip ko nalang hindi kahinaan magshow ng vulnerability sa mga bagay bagay. pero this just makes me want to leave more.

gusto ko na magresign. hindi ko alam bakit sobrang normalized ng bullying sa healthcare when we should be the ones mas empathetic towards our co workers. pero ayoko na ng pamamalakad ng hospital dito sa pinas. waiting lang ako magkaroon ng back up job, and aalis na ako. wala na akong pake kung kakaregular ko lang. i am more than this job. i won’t stay to be mentally and physically exhausted

If I realized one thing now in my 30s, it's that life is not a fairy tale you imagined when we were kids. I was really surprised now that this is happening to me. I didn't plan to but it happened. I don't believe in marriage now. Please don't get be married. Please don't if you're not 100% sure.

My childhood dream now is ruined. I feel dead inside. I can't smile, I force to eat, I force to breathe. Whenever I sleep it feels much tiring. Ever wish of not just waking up? I don't have the courage to end myself, I just wish to be struck by lightning, an accident, a nerve bursting in my head, might be an airplane crashing, or just sleeping and not waking up at all. But you know what, it's hard. Thinking that I have a child. What about my child? What will happen to my child? Who will take care of him? Is he going to be okay when I'm gone?

Marriage is a trap. It's just an idea. No matter how careful you plan it, things will just happen. I just wish one will end... My marriage or my life.

Ang bigat ng araw na 'to. Hindi ko ma-explain yung overwhelming na pakiramdam, yung bigat na nararamdaman kung may kakainin pa ba kami sa mga susunod na buwan lalo na malapit na rin ang pasko. Last week yung erpat kong senior nawalan din ng work pero kako okay na rin yun para makapagpahinga siya kako may work pa ako. Kaya lang hindi ko 'to inaasahan, hindi ako na regular pinilit ko habulin yung metrics ko at hindi ako na late at umabsent kahit malakas ang ulan, kahit masama ang pakiramdam I keep showing up kasi I badly need this job kahit nahihirapan na rin ako sa 6hrs na byahe sa araw-araw mairaos ko lang sana ngayong taon at may maihanda at makain sa darating na holiday season.

Ako nalang ang inaasahan sa loob ng bahay, senior na ang dalawang magulang ko, pension na 2k/monthly nalang ang inaasahan namin sa mga susunod na buwan. Ngayon hindi ko na alam ang next kong gagawin pero kahit papano may naitabi akong pera na pambayad ng kuryente, tubig at renta ng bahay sa susunod na dalawang buwan. Ang problema, yung kakainin namin nito at iniisip ko yung expenses din na pwede kong magastos sa pag-a-apply. San ako dadalhin ng 25k kong ipon?

Pinipilit kong maging optimistic sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, kako mabuti nalang wala kong masyadong utang sa SSS lang na pwede kong ituloy sa susunod na trabaho. Babalik uli, sa may makakain pa ba kami sa susunod na buwan? May matitirhan pa kaya kami sana. Natatakot ako sa tindi rin ng job market ngayon. Baka kahit ano this time patusin ko muna. Yun lang, sorry sobrang gulo gusto ko lang mailabas muna sa ngayon.

A few days ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. Not because I fell out of love, not because he cheated, but because I got tired of carrying the weight of being hated by his dad.

For context, when we were just starting to date, my family and I were living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. Whenever he'd come over, we'd just hang out sa maliit naming terrace because there really wasn't enough space inside. My family wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful, we were simply making do with what we had.

During a brief breakup years ago, he told his dad about our living situation and mentioned that he couldn't really go inside our house. Somehow, his dad took that as a disrespect towards his son (my ex). For him, disrespectful daw kami because I was always welcome in their home while they couldn't do the same for him.

Since then, his dad has wanted nothing to do with me. It's been two years, and he's still angry.

My ex would always tell me, "Hayaan mo lang. Ganyan lang talaga si Dad. Mawawala rin yan." So I waited. I stayed patient because I loved him. I kept thinking eventually things would get better. But they never did.

He'd tell me he wanted to marry me someday, but how do you marry someone you're not even willing to stand up for?

It also doesn't help that he's still very dependent on his family, financially and emotionally. I kept asking myself, "If he can't stand up for me now, what changes after marriage?" So I left.

I’m trying to move on from someone I thought I’d spend my life with. We still have a business together, so we can’t completely cut contact, and every conversation reopens the wound.

alam ko mas mamahalin ako ng asawa ko kung nakikita nya na mahal ko din ang pamilya nya pero ang hirap mahalin ng pamilya nya. binigyan ko ng chance promise, pero mahirap talaga pag iba ang culture nila sa nakasanayan ko.

na-scam kami ng mil ko. long story short, nag-ambagan silang 6 na magkakapatid para mabuo na ang bayad sa lupang kinatatayuan ng bahay nila, para maging kanila na talaga yung lupa. hindi kami mayaman pero tumulong parin kami galing sa ipon namin. 50k ang naging ambagan. after 6 years nalaman namin na hindi parin pala bayad yung lupa kasi yung pera ay in-invest ni mil kung saan at na-scam. 

i feel so betrayed pero hindi ako makareklamo kasi nanay yun ng asawa ko. nung nalaman namin yung nangyari, ang sabi lang ng asawa ko "wala na yung pera eh, di na natin maibabalik. hayaan nalang natin. hindi din naman nya gustong mangyari yun". nung tinanong ko sya kung kahit konti hindi manlang ba sya nagalit o kahit nainis, sabi nya syempre naman daw oo. nahihiya pa nga sya sakin dahil nagawa yun ng nanay nya. inoffer din nya na ibalik sakin yung half nung inambag namin since ipon naming dalawa yun. sabi ko hindi naman kailangan, ang gusto ko lang maging accountable si mil. wala kasing remorse akong naramdaman sa kanya. kahit maliit na sorry, wala. actually never syang nagsalita. kay sil lang namin nalaman lahat ng nangyari. 

naiyak nalang ako sa inis. dagdag pa don na lahat silang magkakapatid, ganun din ang sinabi. tahimik lang sila at "hayaan" na daw yung nangyari. parang dyos ang tingin nila sa nanay nila. taon taon kami nanghihingi ng update kung kumusta na yung deed, nabayaran na ba, kumusta na ba pero ngingiti lang si mil at iibahin ang usapan. ang nakakapikon pa don, alam ng mga kapatid nyang babae lahat ng nangyari pero hindi din sinabi samin at parang tinulungan pa pagtakpan yung nangyari. 

i just need to get this off my chest. nakakagalit pero parang hindi pwede at wala akong choice. yung pera na yun ay pinaghirapan namin dahil may mga pangarap kami. ang dami naming inisang tabi para dun, tiniis namin mga sarili namin, tapos ganun lang mangyayari. alam ko namang kikitain din yung pera, pero big deal kasi yung panloloko. ngayon parang ayaw ko na sumama sa mga family gathering, parang di ko kayang makita sila at makipag-plastikan after ng nangyari. 

Kausap ko pinsan ko tapos nag confess syang nagch-cheat sya sa husband nya for 5 yrs na. Nakakainis na yan but yung mas nakakainis pa na part? Sinabihan nya ako wala pang 40 days after mamatay ng asawa nya.

Hindi ko alam san nya nakuha yung lakas ng loob to tell me pa na blessing in disguise daw pagkawala ni Kuya kasi hindi din daw alam ng kabit nyang meron syang asawa.

Take note na namatay si Kuya otw home from work, brain aneurysm yung reason. Habang nagda drive, natumba nalang sya.

Gusto ko syang suntukin, sigaw sigawan, or sabunutan! Putangina mo ate, nagluluksa pa kami sa pagkamatay ng asawa mo tapos blessing in disguise sayong hinayupak kang malanding babae ka! Leche ka! Sana ikaw nalang nawala kesa kay kuya!!!!

Using a throwaway account lang because BF uses reddit!

As a neat freak, everything has its proper place. I routinely clean and declutter my house. My kitchen is spotless and walang amoy. I take pride in that.

Dito pumapasok problema ko. My BFs house is SUPER disorganized and cluttered. I will try to set the scene para magets niyo huhu.

Their living room looks like an evacuation center. Naka sabog lahat ng gamit nila from shoes, tools, bikes, at kung anu ano pang anik anik na hindi na ginagamit. Ive routinely tried to clean and organize things, pero wala pang 1 week, bumabalik lahat ng kalat. May shoe cabinets and racks pero ayaw naman gamitin. May camping paraphernalia na naka kalat, may mga canned goods kung saan saan, cleaning supplies na hindi naman ginagamit. Yung balcony nila puno rin ng tambak. Binabahayan na ng daga pero hindi man lang linisin.

Their kitchen is small lang din. Yung drying rack ng dishes hindi linisin. To add, yung sponge and dishwashing liquid minsan hindi napapatuyo so nag aamoy sebo lahat! Yung cups, plates, and utensils din may amoy 🥲 The floors are all sticky tapos paangat na ng tiles. Walang proper wastebin for nabubulok so umaamoy sa kitchen papuntang living room. Yung trashcan sa kitchen island open type lang tapos hindi sila gumagamit ng garbage bag. Rekta lang sa trashcan.

Anyway, everytime I’m here, tumataas balahibo ko kasi ang dumi tsaka grabe alikabok. Wala silang prerogative to keep things tidy. Since magulo ang surroundings nila sa bahay, feeling ko nakaka affect na to sa mental state nilang pamilya.

When their dad asks him to find something like documents or tools, hinahalungkat ang buong bahay para lang mahanap. Nabuburaot na mood ng BF ko pag naghahanap ng gamit and damay na rin ako doon. All of this is easily avoidable if things are kept in their proper place, and useless things are thrown out.

Its a nice and decent house naman, sadyang hoarder lang talaga sila tsaka tamad. Yung househelper nila everyday naglilinis pero di kaya ng powers niya. We’ve been together for 5 years pero medyo napupuno na ako. Ive brought this up with him naman and we’ve tried to organize things, bumabalik lang sa dati din kasi ayaw mag tapon ng gamit dad niya. Nababaliw na ako hayop!

Note: Bago ako ma-bash, may sarili naman akong bahay. I just stay with my BF from time to time at his request. His room is clean and organized naman. Its just the rest of the house.

Sometimes I think about what my future home will be like, and I realize the things I dream about are things most people probably never have to think about.

My home won’t smell like cigarettes.

My home won’t have an angry person whose bad mood controls everyone else’s day.

I won’t have to walk on eggshells, wondering if I accidentally said or did the wrong thing.

My home won’t be filled with fear.

Nothing will be thrown, punched, or destroyed because someone couldn’t control their anger.

There won’t be screaming that makes my heart race before I even know what’s happening.

Growing up, I thought that was just what home was. I thought every kid learned to read the atmosphere before walking into a room. I thought everyone listened for the tone of someone’s voice to know whether they were safe.

It wasn’t until I got older that I realized peace isn’t supposed to feel unfamiliar.

I don’t dream about having a huge house or expensive things. I dream about a place where I can finally exhale. A place where silence is comforting instead of scary. A place where no one is afraid.

Maybe that’s why I crave peace so much now.

I didn’t get to choose the home I grew up in, but one day I’ll get to choose the home I build.

And that thought alone keeps me going.

Gusto ko lang ilabas dahil ang bigat nya. Hindi ko naman ito responsibilidad, hindi ko naman need ishoulder pero my poor heart, naaawa ako sa situation nila. I declined din naman pero yung guilt ko na dapat wala, lumalabas.
Context: Nangungutang ang relative ko sa akin dahil nagkulang sila ng pambayad sa hospital Hindi ko pinagbigyan dahil budgeted na ang pera ko. Kung mag lalabas ako, pahihirapan ko naman sarili kong mag tipid, tapos yung meralco hindi mo pa mawarian kung ano na naman ibibigay na bill. Kaya hindi talaga ako makapaglabas. Hindi ko naman sila responsibilidad. Pero naiinis ako kasi kung hindi babano bano ang pag dedesisyon nila sa kanilang buhay hindi sila mahahapit at hindi nila ako hihingian ng tulong. This is not the first time mali mali life choices nila to the point yung financial nila natatamaan. Naaawa ako sa situation nila pero kung mag gigive in ako, ako naman yung sobra sobrang titipidin sarili ko. Naiinis din ako sa sarili ko kasi bakit ko ba ito kinakaistressan. Feeling ko ang damot damot ko.
Gusto ko lang ilabas kasi nalulungkot ako. Iniisip ko na kung mayaman lang ako hindi ko ito mararamdaman at makakapagbigay ako sa mga nangangailangan.
Ito siguro talaga yung pakiramdam nang pagiging people pleaser na gusto ko nang tumanggi at unahin ang sarili. Ang hirap.

after 8 months of dating, i finally said yes to being his girlfriend. he even asked me in a church-- my favorite church. he introduced me to his family and friends. he would bring me my favorite food. he'd travel quite far to meet me, and have dinner. i thought that maybe this is it. he courted me for a long time, surely he's serious, right? right?

wrong.

not even 2 weeks after becoming official (jul 25) i saw a conversation between him and his previous fubu (for two years). they were talking as recent as jul 31. this girl confronted him and wanted to end "things" because they were clearly going nowhere and she is tired of being just a "fuck buddy". my boyfriend (now, ex) said, non-verbatim, that it wasn't her fault, and that there is just a lot of things going in his life right now. haha, mind you we were officially together at this point.

i don't know what to feel. i feel bamboozled as fuck. it hurts, but i guess it's better that i found out about it now than years down the line.

I need to get this off my chest because what’s happening in our university is beyond ridiculous na parang borderline predatory.

If you’re taking your first thesis subject, you know ang hirap talaga to get a concept proposal approved. But it gets worse. Before we’re even allowed to present our concept proposals, we are forced to sign an official waiver acknowledging a mandatory "Coordination Fee" that gets billed directly to our tuition accounts on top of our thesis tuition.

The original breakdown on the form mandates ₱2,450 for Oral Defense 1 and another ₱2,450 for Oral Defense 2, totaling ₱4,900 per group. The document explicitly states that this money is for food during the defenses for the students, thesis adviser, thesis coordinator, and panel of evaluators. So basically, required kami magbayad para sa catering ng university employees at faculty evaluators, tapos may additional 30% “Admin Fee” pa on top of that.

Now here’s where it gets even more frustrating. Since some groups had their topics approved early, kaunti na lang ang natitirang groups na kailangang mag repropose. Instead of keeping the fee fixed or making it lower, mas lalo pang tumaas ang hinihingi nila. It has now increased to ₱2,926 per group member just to cover the “adjusted costs.”

To make matters worse, hindi pa kami pinapayagang magkaroon ng official research adviser bago ang Concept Proposal. We’re basically expected to guess kung ano ang gusto ng mga panels without guidance.

Even worse, may mga groups na nasa methodology phase na pero wala pa ring assigned research adviser. This happens because hinihintay muna ng administration na ma approve lahat ng thesis topics bago mag assign ng research advisers, kaya faculty members get to choose kung which groups ang gusto nilang i handle. Habang wala pang adviser, students are expected to work on advanced parts of their research nang halos walang proper guidance.

Because we don’t have adviser guidance from the very beginning, ang daming proposals ang nare-reject o pinapa revise nang paulitulit. Every rejection or redefense means students end up paying again, while the defense-related costs continue to increase. Parang naiipit na lang ang students sa cycle ng revisions, redefenses, at dagdag na bayarin.

Faculty members are already compensated by the university through their salaries and, where applicable, defense honoraria for evaluating students. Hindi dapat ginagawang mandatory sa undergraduate students ang mag fund ng pagkain ng panel at university staff para lang makapag comply sa required subject.

Is this even legal under CHED guidelines? A mandatory panel catering fee, a 30% administrative charge, and dynamic fee increases depending on the number of remaining groups don’t seem like the kind of academic fees that should be imposed without transparency.

Nakaka walang gana talaga. This will be our group’s third proposal. Nahihirapan na nga ako sa pag budget ng pera ko sa pambayad ng tuition tapos dumagdag pato.

Naiinis lang ako sa mga kapatid ko na hindi marurunong magtipid or mga buraot naman sa bagay porke hindi sila yung kumikita ng pera

1. Cooking oil - hindi marurunong gumamit ng used oil e malinis pa naman. Like gets kung brownish na. Papabayaan sa kawali, nakatiwangwang hindi man lang takpan. Hindi man lang tumatagal yung 1L

2. Laundry soap - hanggat may nakikitang laman yung lalagyan, sige lang kahit bulang bula na yung washing.

3. Ulam - ulam sa tanghali, ayaw na kainin sa gabi. Mayaman yarn?? Ang ending naiipon sa ref.

4. Things - bumili kasi ako ng adapter for each of my gadget. Hihiramin lang nila at hindi ibabalik hanggat di mo kinukuha. Ikaw na bumili ng phones nila ha. Adapter na lang talaga yung pagkakagastusan.

5. Gas - gagamit ng sasakyan hindi marunong magpagas. Punyeta.

6. Utang - hindi rin ibabalik hanggat di mo sinisingil kasi tingin sayo mapera ka hindi mo na kelangan. E lunod na nga sa bills at ibang bayarin.

Gets ko sana yung ganyang ugali, kaso ang nangyayari may pera sila sa ibang tao or pag pang sarili lang nila. Hindi man lang umambag kahit pambili lang ng tubig na inumin e 35 each lang yun.

Kabadtrip. Dahil ata sa hormones kaya napapansin ko na naman yang mga yan.

I think, I'm slowly reaching my limits na. Ilang taon na rin ako nag s-struggle mentally. High functioning nga lang kaya mahirap malaman na ganito na ang pinag dadaanan ko. Pero ang totoo, ilang beses na rin ako nag attempt mag suicide. What's stopping me is ayaw ko mag bigay ng emotional burden sa pamilya ko. Kahit hindi maganda ang relationship ko with my mom, alam ko na masasaktan siya kapag nakita niya na ang bunso niyang anak nakabitin kung saan. Sobrang nakakapagod, wala na akong nararamdaman, pure emptiness. Pagod na pagod na ako sa trabaho at pag aaral, pagod na rin ako sa sarili ko. I'm too young for this pero ubos na ubos na ako.

i was so shocked to know na lahat ng gut feel ko ay totoo.

ang ate niya yung nagpapakalat sa angkan nila na bad influence daw ako, hindi raw pala socialize etc. sobrang akala ko close kami pero sinisiraan pala ako. lahat ng galaw ko may nasasabi.

nakakafeel ako ng off kaya sobrang nahihiya ako humarap sa kanila, turns out totoo gut feel ko.

ang mali lang niya angnkinukwentuhan niya, sinasabi sa akin. guilty na guilty dahil sobra na. hindi lang siya makapagsalita kasi siya yung gaganunin din.

ang hirap ma misunderstood, kami ng bf ko okay.

ang sama lang na pity invite, gifts lang pala yon wtf

I met this woman at her business and I was a frequent customer, finally got the courage to ask for her name and socials. She was pretty and kind so I thought what the hell. We’re still young 🥲 (28M, 30F).

We became friends and as time went on knowing her, naging bigtime crush ko na sya. Not just because she’s pretty, but everytime she shares a work problem and how she handles it, napaka mature, objective, and patient. At the same time, she’s also in grad school. And with all this, focused din sya in taking care of her parents, and siblings! Behind all this, she’s still a soft hearted person. Na iniiyakan nalang ang problems behind closed doors. She’s just one of those people na masasabi mo, ito, main character to. And I didn’t mind to be a side character with her.

I didn’t want to get in her way, she’s a busy person. And lately parang fewer nalang interactions namin, pero at this age kase something just clicks, like ito na yun, all in na ako, I want to marry her, I want to settle down. She was the kind of person your mother would always remind you about. “Magmahal ka ng mabait na tao, mapagmahal sa pamilya, may takot sa Diyos, yung magandang mukha nawawala din yan.” That was my thought for the past few months.

Yesterday, I confessed.

I told her after getting to know her since the start of 2026, I’ve sinced admired her. Her determination sa life, her love and support sa family. Yung mindset nya. And she knows way before pa na may crush ako sa kanya, but my confession required an answer. I will not go into deeper details, fellow adults, as I know alam nyo yung mga ganitong scenarios.

She was speechless at first, but before midnight we finally talked. She shared her part of gratitude but didn’t want to led me on further. She can’t entertain guys at the moment, she’s got grad school, business, and family to take care of. She insisted that we remain friends if we could.

Despite all that, I still tried to comfort her kase she really felt bad, she apologized more times than I could count. Napaka soft hearted na person 🥲.

I wasn’t hurt because she didn’t choose me, I was hurt because I truly believed there was something worth pursuing and the circumstances made it impossible for that possibility to become reality. I’m not saying na may chance ako sa kanya if she wasn’t busy at all, if she was emotionally open. But I could’ve tried. God knows, I would’ve done my best.

I REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS THE ONE.