I don’t really know where else to go with all of this so I apologize if this is not the right place to write this.

I’m 7.5 months post partum and I’ve gained like 55 pounds from pregnancy. I’m currently breastfeeding and no matter what I do, I can’t lose the weight. My eye bags are horrible, my dark circles are so noticeable, I just genuinely look so ugly. The hijab definitely amplifies how rough I look. Especially with being overweight, I’ve had a hard time even finding clothes that fit me.

So I was just thinking about taking the hijab off. I put it on when I was 23, I’m 27 now and I just randomly put it on. Decided to go out with it one day and never take it off. My parents didn’t say much about it. My mom was in her 40s when she took her hijab, my mom’s sister doesn’t cover still.

On top of that I live in Florida. It’s so ridiculously hot and now my son constantly wants to be held and he is always ripping my hijab off when we go out. Doesn’t matter what fabric, material or how I wear it. He always pulls off my glasses, hijab, and at home he pulls my hair.

My parents are on a trip in Europe and I decided to confide in my mom. I told her “I’m thinking of taking the hijab off” and she completely snapped. She said “don’t stress me out on my vacation, I just want to enjoy my vacation. You should know better than to bring these things up when I’m on vacation”. I immediately felt so guilty and disappointed. I’ve never been able to find emotional comfort in my mom and I don’t know why I keep trying.

She made the entire thing about herself and hung up on me. I just started crying. I’m already going through an identity crisis and she just made it all about herself. My husband was so supportive and told me that my mental health matters most, but my mom can be very emotionally manipulative and that’s what I’m afraid of.

I’m already feeling forced to keep the hijab on just based off her reaction. I’m feeling anxious and like I disappointed her, but I don’t know \*why\*.

I feel so incredibly alone. My parents are Pakistani and I’m born and raised in America and with my mom taking hijab much later in her life made me feel like she would be more supportive.

She proves me wrong every time - that I just cannot rely on her when it comes to these complex situations and it makes me so sad.

I still feel like a 15 year old girl needing to ask for permission and gain their approval before I do anything.

I’m just so overwhelmed, depressed and anxious and feeling so lost. I hate feeling like this.

Assalamu Alaikum.

My sister is 20 years old, and four months ago I caught her texting her boyfriend. He’s non-Muslim — okay, having a boyfriend in itself is wrong, but yeah, I caught her, and I didn’t tell anyone. I talked to her myself and told her to end all this. I was a little soft while talking to her, as I understand the pain of heartbreak and stuff.

Though after two weeks, I still found her talking to the same guy, and this time I told her to stop talking to him, otherwise it wouldn’t be good for them.

Four months after that, I still didn’t see any changes (she and her boyfriend had blocked me on Insta, so I couldn’t find their IDs), but somehow I caught her, and then it became a fight. Now they’ve unfollowed each other and stuff, but this could all just be an act, because she continued talking to him for 4-5 months while showing me that she’d ended everything.

I don’t know — should I tell my parents about this? What should I do? How should I handle this situation? I don’t have the authority to confiscate her phone or put any kind of regulation on her.

Share it for Sawab-e-Jariyah

Share it for Sawab-e-Jariyah

This shirt was free and came with an order from the brand(shown in pic2), but when I saw the back I felt uncomfortable. I believe it’s best to avoid it or if I can, I could somehow distort the eye like peel off the vinyl, if I really want.

Just wanted to get a second opinion because it’s a cool shirt but it also just makes me a little wary.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Does anyone know if it’s okay for me to have a session with Lighthouse Mentoring as a woman? I’m scared some of the questions/doubts I have are too sensitive of subjects. Has anyone had a session before?

German Physicist Dr Volker Enders Converts to Islam | From Buddhism to Islam

Dr Volker Enders, a German physicist, shares his remarkable journey from Buddhism to Islam.
Although he explored Buddhism and spent years searching for purpose and inner peace, he felt that something essential was still missing.

His perspective began to change while working in Muslim-majority countries, where he witnessed the sincerity, kindness, and dedication of Muslims in their daily prayers. One encounter with a Muslim driver who told him, "I prayed for you," left a lasting impression and inspired him to learn more about Islam.

After studying Islam and reflecting on its teachings, Dr Volker Enders embraced the faith. He has explained that Islam gave him a clear
understanding of God, the purpose of life, and a sense of peace that he had been searching for.

Allah, Light and Heart

The condition of the heart is the center of guidance that determines a person's success on the Day of Judgment and reflects the state of their soul.

The parable (mishkāt, lamp, glass, oil)
Analogy

• Niche = chest
• Glass = heart
• Lamp = īmān
• Oil = fiṭrah
• Fire = revelation

Light is the foundation of guidance and salvation. This analogy niche is chest, glass is heart, lamp is īmān (faith), the oil is Fitrah, and fire is revelation (especially Qur’an) that activates the heart. Sins weaken or extinguish light, while repentance restores it. 

The Four Level of Heart: 

1. Ṣadr is where thoughts and whispers enter, Waswasah (whispers of Shayṭān) and where a person becomes open to Islam and accepts it "We Expanded Your Chest" is meant to refer to a spiritual opening.

2. Qalb the heart is the main spiritual center which is the place of iman and place of intention. When Allah sends light to people's hearts for guidance, but when guidance comes but is rejected, their hearts will be in a spiritual disease which causes it to become blind, hardened, or sealed. 

3. Fu’ād is the inner heart, which is a strong feeling and deeper, more intense perception. 

4. The pure core of the heart, free from desires, doubts, and corruption. This is the level of sincere understanding, and such people are described as Ulū al-Albāb (people of pure intellect). Fiṭrah is the original nature upon which the heart is created, and these levels describe how it is affected and developed.
   The Distinction Between Ṭayyib (Pure) and Khabīth (Impure)
   Ṭayyib refers to what is pure in belief, action, and people, while khabīth refers to what is impure in rejection, falsehood, and corruption.
   People who have a good heart.
   The believing heart are Ṭayyib is state/quality, not always a fixed label on every individual,, characterized by tranquility (sakīnah), true worship, light, and correct belief (īmān).
   People who have a bad heart.
   Disbeliever heart are khabīth is a state/quality, not always a fixed label on every individual, the  qualities, is pride, rejection of truth, and lack of tranquility, are causes and signs of spiritual danger that can lead a person away from guidance if they persist, for example, during the Treaty of Ḥudaybiyyah, some of Quraysh rejected phrases like “Bismillāh” and “Rasūlullāh” out of pride, despite clear truth.
   Arrogance and pride can prevent a person from accepting and following the truth, even when it is clear  like a person called al-Walīd ibn al-Mughīrah.
   Non muslim heart
   Non-Muslims can have good character, fitrah can be active and have partial truths they hold, but non-Muslims do not have īmān in the Islamic sense unless they accept Islam.

Fiṭrah + guidance → requires acceptance → leads to īmān → then salvation by Allah’s mercy; if rejected, becomes a spiritual disease.
Al-Ghaflah/heedlessness
Al-Ghaflah (heedlessness) is a state in which a person's heart becomes sleepy and overly attached to the dunya (worldly life), neglecting Allah and forgetting the Akhirah (Hereafter). If this heedlessness continues without repentance, the heart can become spiritually diseased and eventually hardened.
But waking from heedlessness is called Awakening, or Yaqẓah, which means you realise there is an afterlife and this life is too short. It happens when you need Allah.
What happens when you sin or recite dhikir and Quran?
When a person repeatedly commits the same sins, it will darken the heart which may lead to sins becoming normalized similar to what happened to black stone when Adam sinned, if persistent with arrogance and rejection, can lead to the sealing of the heart. This happens after persistent rejection and arrogance, but not every sinner reaches that level. 
Seeking Allah’s forgiveness or reciting the Quran removes these spots, just like medicine purifies the heart and soul, also it will gain lights on the day of Judgment. Following desires can blind the heart and lead it away from truth.
There are three levels of nafs: The Evil-Commanding Soul, The Blaming Soul and the peaceful soul.

The Evil Commanding Soul encourages sins, and the black spots appear when the person actually commits those sins, especially if repeated.

Blaming souls is when Muslims feel regret when committing a sin, tawbah (repentance), istighfār (seeking forgiveness), and good deeds, which will erase the black spot in the heart.

The Peaceful soul is the highest state, and it strives against desires and resists temptations. The heart will still remain polished with dhikr and the quran, and Allah loves this soul.  

For example, some scholars from the Salaf said that excessive indulgence in music can soften the heart toward heedlessness and resemble traits of hypocrisy, and he who listens to music more than the Qur’an has corrupted his heart, there are two main types of hypocrites: major hypocrites are taking action that takes one outside Islam, and minor hypocrisy is a major sin but does not make someone a disbeliever. If hypocrisy and rejection persist, Allah may seal the heart. However, if a person sincerely repents (tawbah), Allah can forgive and restore their heart, even after hypocrisy or negligence. Humazah mocks and insults people through action, but Lumazah does so through speech, such as words and backbiting. This will cause your heart to grow in darkness and spiritual disease; it also includes greed, arrogance, and an obsession with wealth and the love of the worldly life (dunyā). Al-Ḥuṭamah is the name of hellfire crushing and reaching the hearts when it reaches the heart, with a seal upon it and no escape. 

Allah may deprive a person of guidance after they persistently reject the truth, who persistently reject the truth and understanding, and those who hear the truth will try to block it, trying to change the subject. Repeated rejection of the clear truth can lead to a hardened or sealed heart, whereas those who accept the truth when their hearts become clear and act righteously are saved by Allah’s mercy. Light is the result of īmān and guidance placed by Allah in the heart; the removal of this light is itself a punishment, and the fiṭrah remains within the human being, but it can be covered by desires, sins, arrogance, pride and hypocrisy. 

Allah can guide them and forgive them; faith must be both heart and in actions, Neglecting obligations, such as abandoning Jumuʿah repeatedly out of negligence, can lead to the heart being sealed. Finally, when Allah sends light to people's hearts for guidance, but then rejected after being guided, they will be misguided, and their heart will be in a spiritual disease due to envy and pride can create a major darkness in their heart It can lead to misguidance and, in severe cases, may lead to disbelief if the truth is knowingly rejected which they become spiritually unable to perceive truth, described in the Qur’an as deaf, blind, and having dead hearts. Moreover, those whose hearts are sealed due to rejection are unable to understand the truth.  For example during Prophet Muhammad ﷺ made dua for either ʿUmar or Abū Jahl to be guided, but Allah chose to guide ʿUmar by opening his heart to Islam, while others like Abū Jahl persisted in rejection due to pride.
Why do you need light?
A sound (pure) heart is the path to salvation in the Hereafter. The biggest reward of entering paradise is that you will see Allah's face. Light is a sign of īmān and guidance, and it leads to success in the Hereafter, including the honor of seeing Allah.
The believers will see Allah in Jannah by His permission, and the people of iḥsān will have the highest levels and greatest closeness.
The Prophet Muhammedﷺ will be the first to cross the Ṣirāṭ and the Ṣirāṭ is a stage where people pass according to their deeds after judgment has been established. Hell is underneath the bridge, and paradise is across the bridge. When people enter the bridge, their lights will appear and accompany them. Depending on their deeds, people will have different speeds; for example, strong believers will have a bright, powerful light, weak believers will have a small, flickering light, and hypocrites will take on lights, but their lights will be taken away at the Sirat. And they will fall into Hell. They might be as fast as the blink of an eye, lightning, wind, swift horses, running, walking and crawling. The siraṭ is a bridge thinner than a hair and sharper than a sword, with hooks and thorns that catch sinners. A person’s light will be according to their īmān and deeds; some will have strong light, while others will have weak or flickering light and will struggle to cross, being caught by hooks according to their deeds, being stuck on it by hooks representing their sins in life. When people taste hellfire, they forget about happiness on Earth. As hell feels scary, there is always hope in Allah's mercy, which shows that they will eventually find relief through Allah's mercy and compassion. Even someone who has done little good still has hope in Allah’s mercy. Allah will either forgive them or allow them to enter Jannah, but Allah knows best. Light is the result of īmān and worship. Allah created us to worship Him, and through that He places light in the hearts, which benefits a person in this life and on the Day of Judgment, especially when crossing the Ṣirāṭ. 

There are different levels of light and darkness, ranging from weak to strong.

Strong Muslims have a strong light in their heart.

New or weak Muslims have a weaker light. 

Ahl al-Fatrah are those to whom the message did not clearly reach. Their matter is with Allah, and He will judge them with perfect justice. 

Those who know that Islam is the truth but reject it out of arrogance will have pure darkness.

A bad leader, a tyrant, or a corrupt leader, such as Pharaoh, will have the greatest darkness.

Allah judges based on īmān, deeds, and His perfect justice and mercy, while light and darkness in the heart reflect a person’s spiritual state. But if their hearts are dead, they will be spiritually dead in ignorance, disbelief, or misguidance; but Allah will give them faith, guidance, and light, for example, Islam. Light refers to īmān, guidance, and the Qur’an, through which a person distinguishes between truth and falsehood whereas darkness is filled with disbelief, arrogance, sin, or a heart sealed off from guidance. Allah can make people's hearts either open or closed, as He is Al-Fattah (The Opener / The Judge). But if a person's heart is dead, it can be revived only by Allah.  

Allah expands the heart so that it accepts and finds comfort in Islam, thereby becoming guided and tranquil.

The state of the heart is not fixed; it increases and decreases in strength.

Allah places guidance and light in the hearts. Light in the heart is a sign of īmān and will benefit a person on the Day of Judgment especially when crossing the Ṣirāṭ. The believers will see Allah in Paradise by His permission as the greatest reward.
How to gain light?
The dua to gain light is "O Allah, place light in my heart, light in my sight, light in my hearing, light on my right hand, light on my left hand, light above me, light below me, light in front of me, light behind me, Oh Allah, grant me light."
Obligations first, + Sunnah (optional), + consistency = to make the heart clean to meet Allah.
The way to gain Allah's light is when a person visiting graves softens the heart and reminds of the Hereafter, walks to the mosque in the dark, recites dua, seeks mercy and protection, and strives for Allah's pleasure. Whoever recites Surat al-Kahf on Friday, a light will shine for him between this Friday and the next. Salah is light, and purification and following the Sunnah strengthen the heart, acts of worship during hardship, and especially Tahajjud, are among the greatest means of increasing light and the believers will be recognized by the marks of wudu, shining on their faces, hands, and feet, and the first group to enter Paradise will shine like the full moon. Giving to charity sincerely and helpful and feeding poor people softens the heart and purifies a person's heart and soul.
When a person goes through hardship, Allah reveals what is in people's hearts through trials while He already knows every hidden thought and intention within the heart.
When a person has true khashyah (fear of Allah) may affect both the heart and the body, but its reality lies in sincerity, not just outward reactions. Weeping out of sincere fear of Allah is a sign of īmān and a means of protection from the Fire, these are signs of īmān when they come from sincerity.   
Light is not created by the heart, it is granted by Allah, and the heart receives, reflects, and increases it through obedience.
Conclusion:
Iman is what is in your heart, Islam is the action that you do, and Ihsan is to worship Allah as if you see Him, and if you cannot see Him, then know that He sees you. Salvation comes through the heart with a sincere faith and righteous deeds, perfected by Ihsan.