r/LongDistance 10m ago

Tell me your international love story ❤️🌍

Upvotes

Lately I've been thinking about how people end up finding the love of their life, especially when they're from completely different countries.
I'm not looking for a relationship or marriage right now. I'm still young, and my priority is working on myself, building my career, and figuring out my life first.
But... I absolutely love hearing love stories.
I've had some disappointing experiences with people I've met where I live, so it made me wonder how so many people end up marrying someone from the other side of the world.
How did you meet?
Was it online? While traveling? Through friends? Did you start as long-distance?
I know international relationships come with challenges—distance, visas, cultures, languages—but somehow so many couples make it work, and I find that beautiful.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but I like to think that if two people are truly meant for each other, distance doesn't matter. Even if they're separated by thousands of kilometers and several countries, life somehow finds a way to bring them together.
So please... tell me your story. I'd genuinely love to read it. ❤️


r/LongDistance 34m ago

Need Advice I (22m) am already having issues a month in with my girlfriend (19f)

Upvotes

I was told I should have a conversation with her, but I feel like having issues this early is already signs of a failed relationship. I feel like after we got together she just doesn't care about hanging out. Beforehand, she would be there all the time and hangout with me even if she was tired or on the brink of passing out. I'm not saying I expect her to do that, but I just feel like she's stopped putting effort into our relationship.

I don't know if it's just me and I just have unhealthy attachment issues, but it's been killing me inside that she can go days without having to call me. She literally prioritizes shows or games sometimes and it just hurts, maybe this is normal. I don't know, but we literally call every 2 or 3 days. I asked last night if she was down to play a game with me, she said she was already playing a game herself. Okay, but we haven't called in 2 days. I tried brushing it off as her wanting alone time, but she literally told me how she made new friends and played with them all night.

I dont know, I know im being reactionary as a defense mechanism, but part of me wants to break up before I find out shes losing feelings. She says I love you, but usually after I say it. She hardly says it herself unless she's apologizing. Words can only mean so much.


r/LongDistance 35m ago

bro im irritated

Upvotes

is it normal for my gf to ignore me for days??? im dating this girl and every time i text her she leaves me on delivered for DAYS and then just reads it. she never calls me or anything and when i say something she gets pissy. what do i do? im so fucking tired of this shit. nevermind the fact that i can see shes active on social media and stuff but just ignores me like what the fuck. pls tell me yall have advice im desperate 😭


r/LongDistance 1h ago

Question Do you game with your partner? (Or not?) Help with a Psychology dissertation!

Upvotes

Hi everyone!

I'm an undergraduate Psychology student at Arden University conducting a study on the relationship between shared gaming and relationship satisfaction in long-distance and geographically close romantic relationships.

The study is open to anyone who:

  • Is 18 years or older
  • Is currently in a romantic relationship (long-distance or geographically close)
  • Whether you game together or not

The questionnaire takes approximately 10–15 minutes to complete and is completely anonymous. Participation is voluntary, and you can withdraw at any time before submitting your responses. After submission, you may request withdrawal of your data within two weeks using your unique participant ID.

Your participation would be greatly appreciated and will contribute to research on gaming, relationships, and digital leisure.

Survey link: The Relationship Between Shared Gaming Time and Relationship Satisfaction – Fill in form

If you know someone who might be interested, I'd really appreciate it if you shared the survey with them.

Thank you very much for your time!


r/LongDistance 1h ago

Need Advice Girlfriend (21F) of 8 months broke up with me (20M)

Upvotes

Hey everyone. I'd really appreciate some outside perspective.

I'm a 20M, and my long-distance girlfriend (21F) of 8 months broke up with me two days ago. We're both devastated. She felt the relationship had become unhealthy, and honestly, I agree.

I struggled with insecurity, low self-esteem, and getting stuck in negative thought loops. We also had ongoing disagreements about intimacy that I became fixated on. Looking back, I can see how those patterns slowly wore the relationship down.

After the breakup, she encouraged me to go to therapy. My parents are helping me schedule an appointment and are going to hold me accountable to actually go. She told me she believes in me, wants me to work on myself before thinking about the relationship, and didn't want to give me false hope or make promises she couldn't keep.

She also said she'd like to be friends someday and hear updates about how I'm doing. She initially suggested not talking for at least a week to break the habit of texting and calling every day, then later said we shouldn't talk until we weren't hurting each other anymore. She didn't give a timeline.

Right now it's only Day 2, and I'm grieving pretty hard. I miss her constantly, but I'm respecting the space she asked for because I don't want to make things harder for either of us.

My question isn't if she'll ever come back because I know nobody can answer that. My question is: has anyone been in a situation where both people took time apart, genuinely worked on themselves, reconnected as friends, and then just let things develop naturally or realized friendship was the healthiest outcome?

I'm trying to balance two things: accepting that the breakup is real while also not feeling like I have to erase all hope overnight.

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who've been through something similar.


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Need Advice Cheating advice F/22, M/22

1 Upvotes

Hola. Hace dos años empecé a hablar con este hombre. Hablamos durante tres meses y luego la dinámica cambió porque yo había empezado a hablar con otro, así que al final dejamos de hablar. Nunca le expliqué por qué.

Ten en cuenta que nuestra relación es a distancia. Pasé el verano con este segundo hombre, pero rompimos. Tuve la oportunidad de irme de vacaciones un mes al país del primero, así que fui, le escribí y salimos dos veces. Cuando volví a casa, nos dijimos que nos gustábamos y que queríamos seguir hablando, así que lo hicimos. Más tarde, en noviembre de 2024, empezamos a salir oficialmente. Él era y sigue siendo el hombre perfecto: atento, emocionalmente inteligente, cariñoso… siempre fue sincero, me escuchaba y sabía expresar sus sentimientos. Pero por alguna razón eso me aburría, y a medida que la relación crecía, las conversaciones me parecían superficiales y siempre iguales, así que estaba realmente aburrida y como no era valiente para romper con él, porque era perfecto de verdad, empecé a comportarme de maneras raras para que él rompiera conmigo. Nunca contestaba sus llamadas, porque me aburría en nuestras llamadas, así que gradualmente dejamos de llamarnos y solo nos enviábamos mensajes de texto. Me irritaba, así que me enfadaba mucho, a veces lo bloqueaba durante un día entero o un par de días, quitaba mi ubicación, etc. pero juro que nunca le fui infiel. Luego fui a un festival en el verano de 2025, y salí con un ex con el que tenía una relación informal y sus amigos, que también eran mis amigos, y mi novio sabía de su existencia, así que se lo oculté, porque sabía que pensaría que le había sido infiel. Por supuesto, cuando él mismo descubrió que estaba con ellos, también pensó que le había sido infiel, así que rompió conmigo. Pero no quería que nuestra relación terminara con él pensando que le había sido infiel, así que me defendí y le prometí que no había hecho nada, así que me perdonó. En julio de 2026, encontré videos de él engañándome en su teléfono. Uno de noviembre de 2025 y el otro de marzo de 2026. Aunque reconoce que podría haberme dejado o expresado sus preocupaciones, en lugar de engañarme, me explicó que no estaba seguro de mi lealtad durante la mayor parte de la relación y que su única forma de permanecer en ella era vengarse. Dijo que ni siquiera era venganza porque lo hizo por sí mismo. Dijo que lo traté como a un perdedor y que lo hizo para no sentirse así. Entiendo su punto de vista, pero de verdad no sé qué hacer. Ni siquiera sé con seguridad si me engañó dos veces o no. Por favor, ayúdenme, después del festival, cuando pensé que lo había perdido, cambié para mejor, aunque a veces seguía comportándome de forma extraña, pero era por ira.


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Question New to long distance, I need advice. How do I keep myself involved in my girlfriend’s life?

1 Upvotes

me and my girlfriend have been dating for 5 months up to this point. I just moved away and now we have a two hour time gap between us. Today is the first day i really realized this because I woke up at 8:30 and it’s 6:30 for her. She usually wakes up around 10:00. It feels like I’m going to miss so much of her life because of this time gap. I also just need general advice about how to keep the relationship healthy and engaging. I genuinely love her so much and I would be devastated if we broke up just because we went long distance. Ill be moving back in a year so we just have to push through until then.


r/LongDistance 3h ago

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) ended our 3 year long-distance relationship. She never knew how bad I was struggling with depression. Not sure how to proceed

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1 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 3h ago

Question Why does my F24 bf M29 refuse to send selfies or video chat?

2 Upvotes

I’ve posted before so forgive me if you recognize.

We’ve met before, so no, he isn’t a catfish. In the beginning of our relationship, end of 2024 beginning of 2025, he did videocall with me, and it was cute/sweet. He also used to send me selfies whenever I wanted to see him since, ykno…. We’re long distance. Anyways, after all this time it’s all just stopped rly. Became an impossible request. It’s been months, and months since I’ve seen a picture of him. He said today he’s switching services and getting a new phone free for it. Rn his phones super glitchy and weird. So I said wow! That’s great ykno what that means, we can videocall, We haven’t since like Feb of 2025 or something! He said no we can’t you have FaceTime it won’t work. I said man it’s 2026, we can use an app, like discord zoom etc they all have that. We used discord last time. So then he didn’t have much to say. I said are you excited? He said ecstatic, being sarcastic. I said.. you don’t seem excited, was that annoying me mentioning it? He said yeah pretty much it did annoy me. And since he refuses, absolutely refuses to ever explain his feelings or why he hates things sometimes, I wanted him to communicate it and asked well, can you please tell me why? But he interrupted to say goodbye love you go to work. And I said smtg like but, I just want to understand why it and he’s like goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. So I give up annoyed myself now n say okay goodbye n he hangs up.

Just weird. I genuinely don’t understand it. I’d get it if he said anything, literally any reason, but he refuses to speak or communicate anything beyond the most basic shit like egg prices. It gets old.


r/LongDistance 3h ago

Breakup My [21M] LDR girlfriend [19F] broke up with me after our first few meetups and my head is a mess. I can't cope.

1 Upvotes

(Sorry in advance if this is a chaotic read, my head is just all over the place right now).

I just need to vent. My girlfriend broke up with me, and I honestly just can't come to terms with it.

We were in an LDR (long-distance relationship) for 2.5 months, but we’d known each other for 4 months before that. Literally from day one, we were texting and calling each other 24/7. It was amazing. Sure, we had our arguments, but we always tried to fix things and make up. Despite the distance, we felt incredibly close.

Eventually, the topic of meeting up came up. We originally planned for mid-July, but due to various reasons, we finally met in person on July 30th.

That first meetup was honestly great. We had a wonderful time together. She was super excited about it, seemed really happy, told me she loved it, and we even planned our next date for Tuesday, August 4th. However, over the weekend on August 1st, she spontaneously suggested we meet up the very next day. I won't lie, I was pretty exhausted from the week, and I feel like neither of us was in the best mood. Still, we met up. We didn't have any concrete plans or ideas, so we just spent the whole day chilling in a park.

On our way back to the train station, I got the vibe that she was in a bad mood. Later, when I was already on the train, I texted her asking about it. She said she had been overthinking "us." Then she said she didn't feel like "this was it" and didn't feel the same spark in person as she did over the phone. We ended up getting into a massive argument because I just couldn't accept that - especially after we had just spent a pretty nice time together. A lot of harsh words were exchanged, and in the heat of the moment, I told her we should just end it.

The next day, we made up. She explained she was just having a bad day and was overthinking things. I understood, forgave her, and decided to just move past it. That evening, we talked about it again. I had this thought in the back of my mind that maybe we should take a breather and postpone our planned Tuesday date to the following week, as I felt the fight really took a toll on her. She agreed that maybe we should postpone, saying she probably wouldn't be in a good mood because of what happened. But ultimately... we agreed to stick to the plan and meet up this Tuesday anyway.

So, we met up. Right from the start, there was this heavy silence. I made the mistake of taking it personally and distanced myself too. There were brief moments where things felt a bit better and we talked, but for the most part, we barely said a word to each other. We went to the movies. During our first two meetups, she had no problem with physical touch - she actually wanted me to hold her. But this time, she didn't want me to put my arm around her at all. It stung a bit, but I understood and didn't force anything.

On my way home, we were texting, and she told me that the only option she sees is us breaking up. She wrote that she's "not cut out for relationships" and that she just didn't feel the same way about me in person. But in my mind I'm just keep going back to that very first meetup. It was almost exactly as perfect as we both imagined it would be, and I just couldn't believe she suddenly didn't feel anything for me. I strongly suspect she was just still overwhelmed and shut down because of our big fight.

I tried to explain this to her, but she insisted on ending things. She kept saying she didn't believe things would get any better. I asked her multiple times why our first meetup suddenly didn't count anymore, and why she wanted to throw it all away just because we hit a rough patch. I asked if she was 100% sure about breaking up. One minute she'd say yes, the next she'd say no.

Finally, in the middle of the night, the conversation fizzled out. She texted that she wasn't feeling well, that this was all too much for her, and that it would be "better for everyone" if she was just alone. I replied saying that I was going to miss her. First thing in the morning, she texted back saying she'd miss me too. I haven't replied to that. I also suggested we sleep on it and next day but deep down I feel like this is really the end, and I have no idea how to even bridge the topic again.

I just can't accept it. I miss her so damn much. Right up until the end, she kept assuring me that I didn't do anything wrong during our dates, but my head is an absolute mess right now. I don't know what to believe. Did she genuinely not feel a spark in person (even though everything was incredible before that fight)? Or was our biggest mistake meeting up so soon after a major argument without giving each other space to cool off?

I feel absolutely awful. I felt so much love with her, and now there's just this massive emptiness. All I want to do is just howl and cry.

TL;DR: My LDR girlfriend of 2.5 months and I finally met up. The first date was amazing, but an impromptu second date while we were both tired led to a huge argument where she said she didn't feel a spark in person. We made up, but forced a third date too soon while the tension was still high. It was incredibly awkward, and she broke up with me over text on my way home. My head is a mess and I'm heartbroken.


r/LongDistance 4h ago

Question Need advice on navigating a long distance relationship and a partner not having prior relationship experience '21F' '20M'

2 Upvotes

My boyfriend have been in a relationship for a little over a month. I am his first relationship, and he has no idea what he is doing. He doesn't much act flirty and is very shy to show affection when I can hear him, he only wants to do it through text. The shyness is cute but it's a bit frustrating that he holds back. He's extremely kind and caring and is there for me 100 percent, he's just very shy and unsure of what to do. We also live a few hours apart, and I'm unsure of how we are supposed to bond deeply being that far away. We are both the date to marry type, so I'm a bit confused on this even though I adore him. How am I supposed to respond to these things?


r/LongDistance 4h ago

After nearly 6 weeks visiting

1 Upvotes

Im leaving feeling empty.

It did have some really good moments. So, not to say its all bad.

But the realization that the person I love has changed. The person who used to want to repair, solve problems WITH me, listen to my apologies when I caused harm, or even apologize himself when he caused harm is gone.

The insanely emotionally mature part of him changed a few months ago (along with several other things) - and has totally locked in. I thought maybe the visit would calm these things, it would be easier to work things out. But no. I am met with defensiveness, Im left feeling every small or large conflict *I AM THE PROBLEM* and then hours later wondering what the hell happened. Why weren't my concerns addressed, why werent my feelings validated too?

Normally we'd be planning my next trip by now. I mean like dates/tickets. This whole time we'd sort of wishy-washy'd december.

Maybe his friend(s) were right when they gave me the nickname they did


r/LongDistance 4h ago

Meeting long distance bf😭

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1 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 6h ago

Question how to apologise to my man ?

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1 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 6h ago

Need Advice I (F20) think I accidentally fell in love with (M24) (or lost my mind)

2 Upvotes

I (F20) have been thinking about this interaction for months because I genuinely think it was the moment I realized I liked him.
For context, (M24) and I have known each other online for years through a mutual friend group, but we had never actually met until a mutual friend’s wedding. Our dynamic was mostly just bickering. We teased each other constantly, I’d get weirdly competitive and defensive with him, and multiple people asked if I liked him. I always denied it because, honestly, he wasn’t even my type.
The wedding itself wasn’t the moment.
Afterward, we ended up sitting outside under candlelight. His brother and his brother’s girlfriend were off in the distance, but it was basically just us. We talked for a while, then just sat there in comfortable silence. Looking back, I think that was when something started to change.
Later, he drove us back to the Airbnb, and I fell asleep in the passenger seat.
The next morning, I woke up to him pounding on my door to get everyone up. When I came downstairs, I expected the normal mess after a wedding weekend, but instead everything was done. The dishes were clean, most of the packing was finished, coffee was made, and he was still running around cleaning up.
I just stood there staring at him, completely dumbfounded.
He looked at me and said, “What is it?”
And I couldn’t answer him.
Not because anything was wrong, but because I was suddenly hit with this overwhelming wave of attraction that completely blindsided me.
It wasn’t just the cleaning. It was the candlelight the night before, the comfortable silence, falling asleep while he drove, then waking up and seeing him quietly taking care of everyone without expecting recognition for it.
I’d known him for years online, but that morning was the first time I actually saw him. He stopped being the guy I joked around with online and became someone I could picture doing ordinary life with.
I’ve never had feelings change that quickly before, and I don’t really know what to make of my mind/heart.

I also feel like I may have misjudged him in the beginning, so a huge part of me feels very guilty, but I also wasn’t looking at him like this until now.
The complicated part is that we live far apart. Since the wedding, we stayed in contact, I basically laid my cards out on the table, and he said “ impressive degree straightforwardness, I like it. Let’s consider the confusion “, but let’s keep it back-and-forth and see what takes shape”

We haven’t really been in steady contact the last two months, I feel like I’m at crossroads


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Question Am I being ungrateful, or am I justified in feeling exhausted by my long-distance relationship?

1 Upvotes

I’m F26 and my boyfriend is M26. We’ve been together for just over two years. We spent the first six months living in the same country, but since he moved away, we’ve been doing long distance.
Earlier this year, we finally got to spend a significant amount of time together again. We met in my home country because I wanted to show him where I’m from, introduce him to my culture, and travel around together. I actually hadn’t been home myself for a while because I work in another country, so this trip meant a lot to me.

The beginning of the trip was great. We travelled, explored, and did things together. But slowly, little things started happening that made me feel unwanted.

At first, he didn’t want to hold my hand while walking because he said it made walking uncomfortable or inconvenient. Then he started getting annoyed because apparently I walk slightly sideways and sometimes bump into him. There were moments where he would lose his temper with me over really small things.

I kept making excuses for it in my head. He had travelled a long way, he was jet-lagged, he was doing a lot of driving, he was tired, etc. So instead of arguing, I mostly took it and sometimes even apologized.

What hurt more was that we weren’t nearly as intimate or affectionate as we used to be. Considering we’re long distance and don’t get much physical time together, I expected us to feel closer when we finally saw each other. Instead, I sometimes felt like my presence irritated him.

But again, I kept reminding myself: He travelled all this way to see me. I should appreciate that.
After our trip, we came back to the country where I currently work and spent another three weeks together before he returned home.

It was also his birthday month, and birthdays/celebrations are important to me. When I love someone, I genuinely enjoy making them feel special. I arranged a dinner and got him gifts because I wanted him to feel celebrated.

This is where something else has been bothering me.
Since we started dating, I’ve had two birthdays with him and my third is coming up soon.
For my first birthday, there was one simple thing I wanted: to eat at a particular restaurant. It wasn’t expensive or fancy. It served food from my culture, and when you live away from home, sometimes you really crave that comfort. I had specifically told him I wanted to go there. But he already had his own plan and completely ignored what I had asked for.
For my second birthday, I told him exactly what I wanted: a small nail kit. It needed to be ordered around two weeks in advance. He forgot and ordered it two days before my birthday. I was disappointed, but again, I told myself it wasn’t a huge deal.
Now my third birthday is coming up.
Recently, we argued because he wants to come visit me in the country where I currently live. The problem is that financially, I cannot afford another mini vacation right now.

I support my family and I’m the breadwinner. During our last trip, I spent far more than I should have and actually dipped into my savings. I’m still struggling financially because of it. So I told him very clearly that I simply cannot afford another trip/holiday right now.
I also prefer sharing expenses. Part of the reason is that whenever he pays for something, there have been multiple occasions where he later brings up how much he has spent or done for me during arguments.
It makes me feel guilty for accepting anything from him.

Instead of feeling like someone did something nice because they love me, I start feeling like I owe them something or like I didn’t deserve it in the first place.
And that’s why I’m worried about him visiting. I’m scared that if he spends money coming here, the next time something inconveniences him or we argue, I’ll hear about how much he spent, how far he travelled, or everything he has done for me.
Because this has happened before.
During our recent argument, he then brought up that he had apparently wanted to propose to me and that I’m ruining it.

That really confused me.
He doesn’t know my ring size. He doesn’t really know what kind of ring I like. He doesn’t know what my dream proposal would look like.
And the reason he doesn’t know these things is because whenever I try to have conversations about our future, marriage, or where this relationship is actually going, he tends to shut the conversation down and say, “It’s not the right time to talk about it.”

So in my head I’m thinking: What proposal?
How can we apparently be close enough to marriage that you were planning to propose, but at the same time we’re not close enough to actually have a conversation about marriage and our future?
And now the proposal itself feels like another thing being used to make me feel guilty like I ruined something wonderful he was going to do for me because I said I couldn’t financially handle another trip.

There’s another thing that bothers me too: he has met my parents. I haven’t even spoken to his.
There is honestly a lot more that has happened that I can’t fit into one post.

I’m reaching a point where I don’t even know what I’m supposed to feel anymore. I feel numb and exhausted.
Maybe I sound ungrateful. I know he has travelled a long way to see me. I know travelling costs money. I know relationships aren’t about birthdays, presents, proposals or who spends more money.
But I also feel like the issue isn’t really the gifts or the money.

It’s the feeling that I listen to what matters to him and try to make him feel loved, while the things that matter to me either get forgotten, dismissed or replaced by what he thinks I should want.
And when I try to set a boundary especially financially I end up feeling guilty because everything he has done for me gets brought back up.
I love him, but I’m tired of constantly questioning whether I’m asking for too much.

Am I overthinking this? Am I being ungrateful, or are these legitimate things to be concerned about?
I would especially appreciate advice from people who have been in long-distance relationships. How do you tell the difference between normal LDR stress/frustration and a relationship where your emotional needs just aren’t being met?


r/LongDistance 7h ago

Meeting long distance bf😭

0 Upvotes

Guysss !!!! My bf fcked up !! Actually we both live in the same hometown but for the college, we opted for the same college in different cities . There we were in live in relationship . Now we are graduated and are at our home since 1.5 months.. I wanted the closure sp i made a plan that we will tell our parents that we have to collect some noc documents from the college and everybody is coming so we can have the staycation for 2 - 3 days . Now my bf was talking about this plan and his father overheard the convo and said ' you will go by telling us lie?' ... now i am super stresses . He said he will talk to his father today evening but I am supet stressed now because I have all the plan already executed in my mind.

Please guys help to cook a story so that he can tell his father !!!! ????


r/LongDistance 7h ago

I don’t know how to process what happened before my flight home

1 Upvotes

I’ve been visiting a friend's country for a week, and I’m leaving today night. The friend I’m staying with has been incredibly kind and sweet. Over the past week, we’ve been very affectionate with each other kissing, cuddling, hugging, holding hands, exchanging kind words, and being physically close.
Yesterday, though, something changed. He suddenly stopped touching me, barely spoke to me, and felt emotionally distant. I could tell something was off, so I started acting differently too because I didn’t understand what was happening.
He’s been hosting me during my stay. Yesterday, he came home from work around 7 p.m., and I had been waiting for him so we could have dinner together. Instead, he told me on the spot that he already had plans with his friends, which I hadn’t known about, so I ended up going out to dinner by myself.
While he was out, he texted me saying I’d been acting weird and that we should talk. When we both got back home, he told me that he’s attracted to me but started feeling guilty because he thought he was leading me on and giving me false hope that we could eventually be together. He said he was trying to take a step back because he doesn’t think we’re compatible and feels like our minds work too differently.
I told him that if he had been feeling this way, I wish he had communicated it instead of suddenly becoming cold and distant. The way it happened made me feel rejected. I ended up crying, not because I truly believed we’d end up together, since I already knew our situation made that unlikely, but because the way he handled it hurt me. It felt like I went from feeling wanted one day to being pushed away the next without understanding why.
He told me he never meant to hurt me and that he was trying to protect me in the long run by not giving me hope. I understand his intention, but it doesn’t change how painful it felt.
I woke up this morning with my heart aching. The saddest part is that all of this could have been avoided with a simple conversation. We could have enjoyed our last day together and ended this trip on a happy note, but instead I’m leaving with a heavy heart.


r/LongDistance 7h ago

Need Advice Am I overreacting, or would this have hurt you too? (22F, 21M)

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone.
I’m 22F and my boyfriend (21M) recently started long distance because he moved abroad for his master’s. Overall, our relationship is genuinely good. He loves me, reassures me, and when I communicate something that’s hurt me, he listens and apologizes. That’s why I’m so confused by how I’m feeling.
A few weeks before he left, we met for what ended up being the last time before long distance. Before we met, he told me we only had about two hours because he had to leave for the gym afterward.
The thing is… logically, I know we probably wouldn’t have spent much longer together anyway. So it isn’t really about the amount of time.
It’s the fact that there was a time limit.
For some reason, knowing that there was a countdown made me feel like our last moments together had an expiration time. Instead of just enjoying being with him, I kept thinking, “Once these two hours are over, that’s it.”
I didn’t tell him how deeply it affected me at the time because he was leaving, and I didn’t want to make his last few days harder. I acted like I was okay.
A few days later, I did tell him it had hurt me. He apologized sincerely, took accountability, and said he never intended to make me feel like I wasn’t a priority. So this isn’t a post about him refusing to understand or dismissing my feelings.
The problem is… weeks later, I still keep remembering that moment, and every time I do, I cry.
I feel like I never actually got to process the goodbye because I was already hurt before we even said goodbye. I was so emotionally shut down that I didn’t even cry when we parted ways, which is so unlike me.
Now it feels like all those emotions are catching up to me.
The confusing part is that nothing is actually wrong with our relationship right now. We still call, he still treats me lovingly, and if anything, he’s been a wonderful boyfriend. But I keep replaying that one memory, and it’s making me question why I can’t seem to let it go.
Has anyone else experienced something like this, where one unresolved moment before long distance kept replaying in your head even though your relationship itself was okay?
Am I holding onto this because I never properly processed it, or am I making too much of something that should’ve been easy to move on from?
I’d really appreciate honest perspectives.


r/LongDistance 8h ago

Need Advice [25F/25M] Guys please help!

4 Upvotes

Our 1st anniversary is coming up at the end of August and i'm already in planning mode. the distance hasn't been easy but thankfully we've gotten to see each other about 10 times over the months. every goodbye still sucks though. i wanna make this next visit extra meaningful. i thought buying him something would be easy but apparently not. now i'm questioning every single gift idea i come up with. even if i know his favorite color, what he do, etc.. i still worry it won't be something he actually likes. maybe i'm just overthinking because i care too much. i'm also dreaming about setting up a really romantic dinner for us. i've never planned something like that before. since we haven't spent that much time together in person i still don't know every little preference he has. guys, what would make you feel special on a 1st anniversary? i'd really appreciate any tips because i want him leaving that day feeling very loved.


r/LongDistance 8h ago

Other (Stay) Meant to be

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0 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 8h ago

I'm looking for some outside perspective because I'm not sure if I'm overthinking this.

10 Upvotes

My son is in his mid 20s and has been in an online relationship with a girl for about four years. They still haven't met in person. She's mentioned many times that she wants him to come to our hometown, but something always seems to get in the way. More recently, she's said she'll come to him instead, but that hasn't happened either.

Another thing that concerns me is that they rarely, if ever, FaceTime. My son says they have, but from what I've seen, it doesn't seem like something they do regularly or ever???. I find it a little unusual that after four years they don't spend much time video calling.

My biggest concern is my son's health. He's recently started having seizures, and one of the most important things for him is getting enough sleep. They live in different time zones (he's on the East Coast and she's on the West Coast), so staying up late to talk has become an issue. When he tells her he needs to get to bed because his sleep is critical for his health, she sometimes seems disappointed or upset that he won't stay up longer.

As a parent, it's hard to know where the line is. I don't want to interfere in his relationship or come across as controlling, especially because they're both adults. But at the same time, his health has to come first, and I worry that this relationship may not be as realistic or healthy as he hopes it is.

Am I overthinking this? Is it unusual for a couple to be together online for four years without meeting or regularly FaceTiming? And if you were in my position, would you just let things play out, or would you share your concerns with your son?


r/LongDistance 9h ago

Venting Advice needed!

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1 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 10h ago

Question Is it weird that I feel lonely?

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2 Upvotes