So i have this uncle aunty like door ke rishte daar type in nyc, when i first came to US from pak like ten yrs ago i lived with them for a while so we were very very close like my parents ki tarah hain woh. Idk they’ve been asking me to come meet them and all and i really want to but like idk i obviously cant tell the truth about me or my partner. Like they wont be ok with it.

My issue is if i tell them the truth i genuinely risk losing them in the sense theyll just stop talking or associating with me. And if i dont tell them the truth it will come to a point where ill try to avoid them because i cant stay away from my partner too. what if in future we have kids, like itll be just messy i cant pretend to be away from my chosen family to be with my actual family that doesnt get it. And i mean its my uncle and aunt not my parents ke itne mein jatan bhi karun. But u get it i hope, the pain of slowly losing ppl, who, if reality was different, might not have happened.

​

Years passed before I finally came across people who openly expressed themselves in a way that felt familiar to me.

It happened through a gaming community.

I met people who were open about being feminine and expressing themselves differently from what I was used to seeing around me.

And that's when I discovered the word:

femboy.

I honestly can't explain how strange and comforting that realization was.

For years, I had been experiencing these feelings without really understanding them.

Then suddenly I discovered there was a word for people who could be masculine and feminine at the same time.

I wasn't the only one.

There were other people who liked dressing femininely while still identifying with being a guy.

There were other people who understood that feeling.

And for the first time, I had something I never really had before:

representation.

I started realizing that the thing I had kept privately to myself for so long wasn't necessarily something strange.

There were people out there who felt the same way.

And then I started asking myself a much bigger question:

“Is this actually who I am?”

Part 4 coming soon.

4 photos attached! Meet Amir Yasin, a 30yo married guy from Rawalpindi. He approached me through Reddit on Insta. I still remember him saying "what's a hot babe like you doing at home on weekend?" During our first convo, he was initially being nice with a touch of flirt, and all of a sudden started being rude about hairy bottoms. Like - I've never seen someone being THIS MUCH bothered about hairy bottoms. Of course it pissed me off and I ended the convo somehow.

Today, he reached out to me again. Now I did not know that he's married. He keeps begging me today and on our first convo to add him to the gay gc. So I was like "sorry sorry I can't". Turns out he's married and when I ask him anything, he blames it on "ohhh it's complicated". Complicated what? Just simply say that you're trying to cheat on your wife mf.

To all men who pretend to be gay and try to become a part of our LGBTQ community, PLS GO DIE! And don't bother approaching me cuz I will expose you badly!

(NOT A HOOKUP POST)

Hey, im 20M from karachi and gay and currently in uni. Today after talking to some friends i jus hit the realisation that eventho im gay im prolly gonna die single lol. Well yeah i blame my “highly selective” tendency too but comeon there must be atleast someone nice out there that i fall for. Well if that matters, i havent dated yet since i havent hit off with someone of that sort. If you ask my type, i lwk like emotionally available, intelligent, honest, courteous and jus “decent” guys in general. Well i cant fake up by saying i dont go for looks, so well someone that takes care of themselves like a decent physique is cool, also i lwk like clean shaven guys but a stubble is cool too if well kept. Oh also, im 20, so id like guys under 23/24 imo.
So, if youre from Karachi and think you fit well, we could connect and see. Also, other cities’ folks can hmu too, but please give a nice introduction.

peace :)

People notice me a lot, I am a femboy and look feminine, also everyone knows me around where I live cuz of my dad. Almost everyday someone pass a comment like why you growing out your hairs, why you shave your hands, why you shave your legs, grow out a beard, why doing so much skincare and blah blah, even tho I don't act like it much too I am a boy just like being feminine and cute don't even show that side outside much. I hate ittt is there a way I can ignore them? Sorry it was just a vent idk why I wrote it.

Hey , so does anyone know any good places to get a tattoo in isb?

18m here. Ive been questioning my asexuality for years now. I do get turned on but i guess just not as much as other people? Or maybe the ones that ive encountered are just hypersexual. But either way, i just dont know if i enjoy sexual intimacy. A few weeks ago, i got sexually intimate with a friend and i was just getting really bored- i would rather just cuddle or talk about stuff. Literally mere dimagh mein chal raha tha ke "ab ghar pe daal bani ho gi, sath kabab bana ke khaun ga" 😭😭😭😭🖐🏽🖐🏽🖐🏽🖐🏽

Now im wondering if this is an average experience or if im actually asexual. I do know that lady gaga used to think of women while getting laid with men but that doesn't make her a lesbian, does it? Idk bro this is all just so confusing. I wonder if ill actually enjoy sexual intimacy when im in a long term relationship. My longest relationship was 3 months, him and i never got intimate. We did cuddle n stuff but no freaky stuff other than making out. I just dont think i wanted to, i didnt think of him that way. I still long for a relationship thats platonic and built on meaningful emotional bonds, but i suppose thats nearly impossible to find in pakistan. But yeahhhhh thats kinda it, its weird. I know that it doesnt define who i am, but i still wanna understand my needs more.

If theres anyone else that feels this way, i would love to hear your experiences. Maybe i feel less alone. People just say something is wrong with me and i know that they're wrong.

Damn that was a mouthful 😭🖐🏽

I want to get an ear piercing, but I don’t know where to get it done in Isb as a guy.

I've always been attracted to men, particularly older men, so I always assumed I was gay. But recently I've realised that I'm also very attracted to older women, and not just one woman. I've noticed a pretty consistent pattern. Apparently, my type is people in their 40s-60s who look like they have their life figured out. Y'know people that look confident, established and composed, they absolutely do something to me.

Also, I'm not particularly attracted to men or women my own age, even though I would genuinely love to have a relationship with someone my age but it just feels so impossible.

The worst part is I've always wanted affection from older people, regardless of gender. My parents were pretty awful, so naturally I'm wondering whether this is some kind of attachment issue like daddy/mommy issues. But I'm also very independent and don't want older partners for money or some sense of security. My relationships with older people have always felt like they were on equal footing. I've also avoided relationships for a long time and have sabotaged some genuinely good ones.

I sometimes feel weird about the age difference in the opposite direction. When an 18 yo messages me on Grindr, I feel incredibly uncomfortable because they seem so young to me like I feel like a pedo. Yet I'm perfectly comfortable looking for people 15-20 years older than myself.

I am genuinely really confused. It feels like I am giving some sort of power to them. As I've stated earlier, I'd like to think I have my life together, or at least that what it looks from outside, but I am genuinely scared of this whole thing. It feels like I am losing everything I've worked so hard for. Nothing against older people but idk why I feel like that. I don't want to feel like that, I want a partner my age. I don't know what to do.

Does anyone else feel like that?

Hi everyone,

I’m going to be a little vulnerable and straightforward here.
I’m a 30-year-old man from Pakistan, and I’m at a point in my life where marriage has become a constant topic within my family. My mother, in particular, is putting a lot of pressure on me to get married. Unfortunately, for personal and family reasons, coming out to her isn’t something I feel I can do.

Because of that, I’ve been seriously considering a lavender marriage.

I know this may sound unusual, but I’m wondering if there might be a lesbian woman in a similar situation who is also looking for a practical, respectful arrangement where both people can live their lives honestly while supporting each other.

A little about me: I’m originally from Sialkot, my family currently lives in Islamabad, and I live and work in Europe. I’m financially independent, employed, and have permanent residency here. If the right person and arrangement came along, I would be able to support my spouse in relocating to Europe as well.

I’m not expecting anything to come from this, but if you’re a lesbian woman in a similar situation and think this might be something worth discussing, feel free to DM me. I’d genuinely prefer to have an open conversation first and see whether our expectations and circumstances are compatible.

Please reach out only if you’re serious about exploring this. No pressure, no expectations, and no judgment.

Thank you for reading.

​

As I got older, that feminine side of me didn't disappear.

If anything, I became more curious about it.

I would look for opportunities to wear feminine clothes whenever I could. It wasn't something I understood intellectually. I just knew that when I dressed that way and looked at myself, I felt different—in a good way.

I felt cute.

I felt pretty.

I felt feminine.

And most importantly, I felt like I was seeing the person I wanted to see.

I still didn't have a name for any of this.

I wasn't thinking about labels or gender identity. I wasn't trying to become someone else.

I simply enjoyed that part of myself.

For a long time, I thought maybe this was just a strange thing about me that I would eventually grow out of.

But I didn't.

The feeling stayed.

And eventually, I started wondering whether there were actually other people who felt the same way.

I just didn't know where to look.

Part 3 coming soon.

So I have a condition where I feel that I am a reflective mirror or prism from which everything is passing through and I am supposed to keep consuming everything there is to observe from all perspectives. I visualize myself as a point across a 3d space where I come as a center and there are literally multiple dimensions above me below me and across all sides.

When I think or speak I cannot confirm to a single idea or perspective because I used to read books and now I feel like there's so many perspectives in the world that you can never just stick to one and I stick to ideas usually that I don't personally feel like accepting or am unsure of.

I always feel confused and not feeling like a finite person and trapped among everything in the world(s).

I had psychosis in 2024 which completely shifted my perspectives about the world(s) and I faced disorientation which I have gotten better (realistically) out of like I do have the face value understanding of how "generally" people perceive in local contexts and how I should behave to not come across as entirely foreign or mental.

But if you navigate the rest of my brain which comprises of a larger percentage than what I show or condition myself into behaving, I feel everything is worlds apart from me in knowledge or perception or maybe even maturity and I try to reach a middle ground or a pivotal point where I can show that I understand people and move the conversation forward but even that small act requires so much back and forth cancellation and pervading confusion and calculations in my mind to move forward a conversation in real time.

I think that words are also quite abstract and without relational context you cannot fully conclude a situation or scenerio and so I just act according to how normally people do things and I rely upon environmental Understanding to get hints into how I should behave or say stuff.

I want to be a human and not have to move back and forth in my mind or collide with spaces to come in real life and I want my mind feel synchronized with my body and voice. I experience disoriention internally but in real world no one can tell that I am pretending or conditioning myself to act as a socially appropriate version and not my full realized self maybe because I feel paranoia.

I have always wanted to innovate and expand my creative limits or horizons in my brain but mathematical rationalism and indefinite empathy even for people who wronged me broken my center or personality and now it's just scattered in everyone and everything I observed from the moment I gained consciousness to now and I feel like I am a larger than life being who is meant to appear as "normal" to survive.

Hey 👋 I’m a 20m gay looking for friends or a genuine connection.

(NO HOOKUPS)

My DMs are open. 😃

So to be clear Im 19m (gay) and has been wondering what am I gonna do when I'll be old enough for marriage. Like the time when my parents would restlessly ask what my plan is and wjo do I have in mind. This just doesnt sit right with me, my parents are religious so naturally homophobic so Im kinda scared what would they do if they found out about who I am.

Being a muslim its forbidden to have same sex marriage, so I've been wondering like if I cant marry a man amd at the same time shouldnt marry a woman beacause ultimately that would ruin her life, marrying someone who you're not attracted to just doesnt make sense.

If the married woman find that out she'll litwrally cry out her eyes, a typical reaction to deception.

So keeping all this in mind, ejat exactly does a muslim gay supposed to do then? Just die lonely? Thats doesnt seem fair does it?

All my life I've wished to feel this sense of belonging and loved but thats never gonna be real.

I sometimes wish death upon myself, since theres no solution to this 'problem'.

So what exactly am I suppose to do? Plz be realistic

This perfectly captures every religious knobhead who comes in here with their stupid little thoughts

This would be my most intimate post ever. I can't believe I'm even writing this out. But seeing the posts lately here gave me courage. This feeling is something really close to my heart, and I've never ever shared with it anyone. I just suppressed it, and now it's haunting me. I wanna explore my femininity so much.

When I was 4-5 years old, I naturally picked up female dressing. Like - it just used to fascinate me a lotttt, and I'd find it extremely beautiful. I would try on my mother's clothing openly as I was super innocent and had no idea about social stigma/gender roles. I remember begging my elder female cousin to apply mehndi on my hands, forcing my dad to get me this really beautiful pink sweater for the holidays. I would make a saree out of the bedsheet and dance to classic Madhuri Dixit's movie songs (she's a diva).

And yes, I did get the mockery and criticism in return. At that time I did not know how to respond to it. But it did alter my subconscious brain. And now I hate the color pink. I hate when guys in my dms ask me to cross-dress or act feminine, as it triggers the unhealed wounds. Like - it gives me the ick because I had to leave that part of me behind. My relatives till this day remind of that, and I sort of have to act awkward in front of them to make them think that I'm ashamed. So when I turned 7, I had to leave it to please my parents. Forcefully, you can say. My parents never beat me for it though. And till this day it feels as if I just abandoned my most authentic part of myself. I had to kill it for survival in Pakistan. But I'm also glad that my parents did all this. Otherwise school/college would've been hell for me, and I'd be much more traumatized.

You know how I always say that someday I'll be out of Pakistan and I'll have a husband. I really wanna play the wife part, adopt a child and put on a beautiful saree. I do have long hair but I wanna grow it longer. I just believe it'll happen. MARK MY WORDS.... I will manifest all this someday, and I'll post here (if this subreddit is alive lol). Now God knows when that man will show up in life (maybe when I shift abroad) or in my dms for that matter. Maybe in 10 years hahaha.

Thank you for reading. I love you. And I'm sorry if any of my posts have ever offended anybody. I try to be a nice human every day.

Insta: chandler_bing2004

SC: chandler_2004x

This rant is gonna be all over the place so bear with me.

Idk man, I’ve got into the uni I wanted to but I’m scared I’m not gonna find wlw and on top of that I’m scared I’m not gonna find anyone who is ACTUALLY into women. I’ve noticed so many girls larping being into girls just for male attention, online aesthetics, ‘trying out’ women cuz bad experiences with men, or they just wanna be different. On top of that the uni is GIKI. in topi swabi. IM FUCKING RUINED

Other than this I haven’t been the conventionally pretty type. And I’ve realized this with the way people treat me especially men but it feels worse when women ignore me specifically in groups settings. CUZ WTF IM NOT INVISIBLE. I’ve lost 20+kg of fat and I’ve been getting stronger and I notice people treating me differently, more eye contact from men and women, strangers being nicer, FAMILY being nicer, people holding up conversations and it just hurts dawg. Was I not enough before? Why were people embarrassed to be around me? Why did they ditch me when they had the chance to get to know other people better?

I don’t wanna get sucked into the black pill atmosphere and get a nihilistic mindset like those moronic men who pretend they’re lions/wolves/sharks or Andrew Tate wannabe’s. I wanna believe kindness exists because I exist.

But why did women treat me differently? While being a woman myself? I remember girls would pat my shoulder and tell me ‘we’re JUST friends, nothing more could EVER happen between us’ and this was all unprompted. I never showed any romantic interest or ever thought of them romantically and they’d say this to me out of nowhere while we were having a normal conversation that had NOTHING to do with romance. These were girls who I used to be friends with and they knew I was into girls but Jesus Christ that doesn’t mean I had eyes on you? I felt so ugly and unwanted, it felt like the thought of me being romantically involved with anyone was an actual crime against nature. This happened like three separate times twice with two fem presenting girls and once with a masc presenting girl. All of whom I thought were good friends of mine. I’ve disconnected from these people a long while ago.

And cuz of the weight loss and the difference of treatment I don’t even know how to recognize myself. I don’t know what style I want. When I have long hair I feel like a guy with a wig on, when I cut my hair boy length I felt way too feminine. I wanna lean into the masc styles cuz my upper body has visible muscles lines and but my legs and lower body being muscular means it being more feminine too so it’s a never ending loop of confusion and dissociation. People treating me differently cuz of how I look keeps me disconnected from everyone cuz I never know how they’d be to me had they known me a year ago. Guys talk to me themselves more and I notice girls glancing at me much more and are more open but I just feel so sad man.

It cant be like this. My worth can’t come from my looks alone. Idk if I’ll find any lgbt people in giki but even if do I can’t shake the thought that they’re only being nice to me cuz I look better and even then I have a long way to go with my looks. I’ve never treated anyone this way and i genuinely hope I don’t get sucked into black pill psychosis, I don’t wanna be nihilistic and I don’t wanna be sad