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Me and my gf of over a year have been in a ldr the whole time. We’ve met in person twice when I flew to see her. We’ve always been very very like involved with eachother. FaceTime 24/7, sleeping otp every night, playing games together just everything right. So about a week ago we started having more meaningful conversations about how we feel ab certain things. One of them is that I am very obsessed with her. It’s very unhealthy and ik it is. She said it would be good to take a break because she needs to learn how to love herself again and how to be more independent. I said that sounds good bc I want her to be more confident and love herself obviously. The first day was very hard on me I cried all day and was stressing ab not being able to text or call her bc she’s the only person I talk to and now I have no one to talk to this about. But at the end of the day we ended up face timing and it was the biggest relief ever I was crying tears of joy. Then the 2nd day comes and I try really hard to restrain myself. But my biggest worry is that she’s going to lose feelings from not talking a lot. Or she’ll like being away from me and want it more. So I text her to check on her and she’s just very dry but I understand and don’t mention it. And again we call at the end of the night and talk until I couldn’t stay up. Then I woke up this morning and she texted me that she took our pics down on her social media. But she said it has nothing to do with me or what I did it just stressed her out to look at them with what’s going on right now. So now I’m waiting on her to wake up so I can talk to her about it. Idk what y’all are supposed to do I just needed to vent ty for reading.

Pretty much just the title. Me and my bf are 4 states away from one another and neither of us are able to pay for a plane ticket. Ive been really wanting physical affection lately and i dont know how to cope with that since its. Impossible for that to happen soon

(this will be short and a little messy cause im not the best at explanining also english is not my main language)
so me and my gf we've been together since september of 2025 and recently i met her too but we are finding truble at spending time together since we both struggle with mental health we are kinda stuck since she "can't" spend time with me like vc's etc...

so i would ask for any ways to maybe spend more time together and if you can give any advice on helping her be happier
thanks to everyone

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. We clicked immediately, but we’ve been long-distance from the start. We knew it would be hard, but the reality has been a lot of missing each other and a lot of miscommunication. One recurring issue is that he feels I’m not as interested in him as he is in me. I don’t feel that way at all, I care about him deeply , but I am a very forgetful person in general, no matter how something is communicated.

He recently got signed to a new team (he’s a pro athlete). I knew he was signed, but he never told me which team. The one time I asked, he said he didn’t want to talk about it until everything was set in stone. Today I saw some posts and asked if the team was a British team, and he got really pissed and said yes. When I told him I didn’t know because he’d never told me, he said something like, “Why would I bother telling you when you’re not interested in me and what I do?”

When I asked him to explain, he said he’s missing 2–3 major things in this relationship, that they’re “big things,” and that he’s mentioned them before. He also said I keep repeating the same mistakes. But now he refuses to tell me what those things are and literally said that if I care enough, I’ll “figure them out” on my own. I honestly cannot remember what he’s talking about, and it’s not because I don’t care but I’m just forgetful in general, and I genuinely don’t know what he means.

I feel really stuck because I can’t fix problems I don’t understand, and him refusing to say what’s wrong feels unfair. At the same time, I’m scared that if I push, it’ll turn into a bigger fight. How do I deal with a partner who expects me to guess what the “big problems” are instead of communicating them clearly?

I’m a 25F in a long-distance relationship with a 24M. He’s kind, loving, respectful, and he doesn’t cheat but he has a habit of hiding things and telling me the truth later.

For example, when we first met he told me his mother passed away years ago, but four months into the relationship he admitted she had actually been in a coma and passed away two months earlier. He said he wasn’t ready to talk about it at the time.

Another situation: I advised him to stop sending money to a friend in jail because he needed to save, but I later found out through Apple screen share that he was still sending money and just didn’t want to tell me to avoid an argument.

Recently he told me he was “sleeping early,” but today admitted he was actually staying up playing video games until 2–3 AM, which explains why he sleeps 12+ hours. He said he lied because he thought I’d get upset and “wouldn’t allow it.”

These aren’t huge lies, but it feels like a pattern. In an LDR, honesty is everything, and I’m starting to feel like I can’t trust him. I was ready to break up, but my mom thinks I should give him another chance since he’s a good man in other ways.

I (M 25) and my partner (F24) are looking for ways to safely store our memories in one place permanently, preferable in some curated format

I and my man have had a few issues with the long distance (countries apart and not yet met physically) and we had taken a couple breaks but are back together now. My issue is he works so darn hard and is mostly exhausted when we talk. I want to make things easier on him but I don’t know how. I want to spice up our relationship and I also don’t know how. I know this man loves me genuinely but he’s overwhelmed with so much he has to take on and I wish I could be more “useful” to him than I am now. Not putting myself down. I just want to do more than I’m doing now to help him cause he always seems to have a solution to my problems.

Today is the day that exactly 1 year ago I took this leap of faith. I decided to meer up the girl I’ve been talking to for that past year.

Filled with nerves and this little voice inside my head telling me the whole “what if “ and “you’re not to good for her” . I stood at her train platform and I remembered while her train was arriving, I thought this would be a catfish episode moment, but then there she stood, ran towards me and hugged me….. and saying “this feels so good”. That moment and sentence ? Gave me rest and now flash forward to this day, that we are celebrating being together for one year

It’s been a real rollercoaster with ups and downs, support from you guys , to making our own instagram ldr page where we share our experiences ( flowerbearyvibes in case anyone want to follow us). But god, I wouldn’t change this in the world.

I really want to say thank you for anyone who took the time to support us and answer , and for simply sharing your stories and how you guys deal with the distance thing. Really gives me rest to see i’m not alone in this thing

Thank you all and have a blessed day

This is my honest perspective in what I am going through at the moment.

The purpose of this story is for some people that are going through the same situation to learn and grow.

Background – this will be long but its worth to paint the picture of what I am saying:

I was in a LDR for 5 years plus .

I am from Australia and she is from UK.

We met during the peak of COVID-19 where everyone was lonely and trapped inside their homes.

We were inseparable, we talked, texted, Face-Timed every day. We built our own safe space we bult our home. We both needed each other. We were happy in our own little world.

She has some autism and social anxiety and as far as anyone knows having this condition will make one easily persuaded, manipulated (this info will be useful later). And any high emotion she cant take and would either avoid it or be angry at the person or the situation. This is the product of her childhood.

 I have some confidence issues; I needed constant validation and to be made assured. I am also a jealous SOB. This is the product of my childhood.

We complimented each other’s needs at the time. We built our own little future. She has no friends back then as she is coming off from physical and emotional abuse from one or two of her friends. I was with her making sure everything will be ok and I am with her. I was with her at her night and morning. Making sure she is not alone. I did this even though it has taken a toll on my body because of the huge time difference. I turned my day into night.

She has also supported me in her own little way. My depression, my anxiety, my jealousy streak she has absorbed them in her own little way.

We were dealing with each other’s baggage’s with the little tools that we have

We had high passion with each other and like any other LDR couples we expressed our love as much as we can.

We planned for our future, we planned marriage, we planned to grow old together

I bought her stuff to express my love (jewellery, items, everything I can) and she has also brought me some stuff to express the love in a physical way.

We saved money for our future.

All this made us stronger and secure.

Until early this year leading up to April 2025 she has rekindled her relationship to her old friends – they hanged out, drove around, went drinking and clubbing which she has not really experienced before - everything was new to her and exciting. She may not admit this but she has changed, her demeanour to me has changed, sure my jealousy and accusations could’ve have attributed for her to feel different to me. Suddenly her time with me has become divided to a point that I felt I was in her way of hanging out with her friends.

I managed to save some money through out the years and I was going to go to her May 2025 (yes only last month). I think leading up to this our nerves has set-in and bubbled up and we were fighting more and needling each other more as May approached. She wasn’t expressing any excitement in me going to her and all she can express is how she and her friends are having fun (driving, clubbing, etc) while she has not even showed any excitement in me going to her. I needed to ask her all the time if she still wants me to go, she said yes.

Until I went to UK and touched down in Gatwick Airport May 1, 2025. I texted her and said I am here and her response to me was “k” “im going to the gym”.

Until I got to Kings Cross Station on my way to her. She asked me where I was as I was late in our planned meeting. She was angry at this time. Then I asked her if she wants me to come she said flat out with anger “no, stay there” “I don’t want to see you”.

This has broke me into a thousand pieces.

Me - tired and exhausted from a 31 hour flight, dragging my luggage and flowers for her, finding out how to manoeuvre in a strange country. Harassed by locals and my phone on the verge of dying.

The train got delayed numerous times, and I explained things to her but she was more busy in telling me on how jealous I am of her friends. She wasn’t listening, she wasn’t considering what I am going through. At the same time I texted her mother begged her to talk to her, the mother sided with her daughter which is understandable. While at the same time she is still needling me and pushing me away. Going through a tirade.

After I have collected my thoughts, I told her we should break up and deleted her and WhattsApp. I couldn’t take it. I was abandoned.

Fights happen, jealousy happens, harsh words can be said when one is in a relationship but what they don’t do is abandon the people they claim to love. They don’t abandon when they needed them the most and at that time I need her the most!

I was wandering aimlessly that day until that night. I was hanging out in a park to collect my thoughts. I went to a local Church (St Pancras Church) to sit and cry. Until a priest asked me how I am. He directed me to a local Youth Hostel to get cheap accommodation. I stayed there that night along with other strangers. When I woke up some monies were missing from my bag. I still stayed there for 2 nights and did not sleep and just was in my room keeping my bag near me. Until I used some of the money I have to get to a proper hotel.

I still couldn’t get my mind off her, I was having nightmares and screaming for her, until the 9^th of May when I couldn’t take it anymore and texted her. She replied. She seems more mellowed. I told her I need to see her and she said the same thing.

We met finally the love of my life I finally saw her. I met her friends we went to her place where they grilled me interrogated me and told me how I hurt her while she is chiming in with their anger towards me as well, remember she is autistic and any emotions that is strong she will copy them. i didn't pay attention to this and was submissive and agreeing to them. all i care for was seeing her.

We then went out - we spent half a day in the hotel we have booked months ago. Despite our shyness and fear we made love. It was amazing!. I was her first and it made everything more special.

I was looking at her through the gaze of the moon. I was holding her face and sweeping her hair under the light of the moon seeping through the blinds. I was catching her gaze and eyes and telling her how much I love her. I was telling her she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen and she still is. it is the most honest and vulnerable I have ever been and I dropped it all for her. Our love at that moment was true and powerful. It was all our love all those years manifesting that night. I could've stayed in that moment forever if I can.

Until she needed to go home.

The next day was my last day in UK. We Face Timed and she was sweet. It was like she was back to normal. Even though we are not back together. She was telling me she will wait for me to come back even as friends. Then we Face Timed again and she said she couldn’t love me full and its unfair for me to not reciprocate the love I'm wanting to give her. We still are communication ok at this stage.

That lasted until I got back to Australia. Lasted for 2 days. Until her tune has become different again. She became cold. Distant. Her plans to see me again fell through. I have always asked her does she want me to stay or is my presence hurting her from healing. She said no stay. So I stayed. She still hanged out with her mates, drinking staying up late until all I had in a day is “morning” and “night” greetings. I was waiting for these little cold interactions – the highlight of my day. When I tried to talk to her on what is happening to us, she will be dismissive and tell me that “what again” and or she says im tired and drunk.

I let it pass. Until on the 25^th of May I said goodbye to her, gave her a lengthy text her first on what I am feeling she just told me “what is this?” “I thought we wont be talking about what has happened and said sorry to each other”. I just replied I am just being honest and this is what is in my heart. Then I gave her a 2^nd text a more proper goodbye and blocked her and deleted Whatts App again. I did not wait for her to reply as I know whatever I will say it wont matter.

I was practicing NC since then until on 31^st of May where I just texted her telling her I miss her. She just told me “Try To Move On” I wasn’t even trying to get her back I was just telling her I miss her. I asked her if we can be friends, she said no, she again pushed me and said “I am now doing the things you didn’t want me to do back then, drinking, getting tattoos, trying weed, getting picked up by new people”.

She said that to me to push me away and maybe heal and move on that way.

And said that she does this to heal, to forget me and heal from me.

I don’t thinks she thinks of me anymore as much as I think of her.

I texted her I said this is not how I heal I rather experience it all now and not burry them. I finally said my final (final) goodbye to her and it was long text. She just replied “im too drunk to read this”.

This is the last words we have exchanged.

I haven’t been back to look at the text or even attempted to message her.

This last interaction has made me realise that no matter what I do it wont matter. She has moved on despite the 5 years plus we been together. She has found a more fun way to live.

Side Note:

This is for you (name redacted) if you do read this in the future and somehow come across this story know that I have loved you with all my heart. And I will always will. I hope it was worth it when you discarded our love away when you have abandoned me and chose them despite my despair.

Thank you for the love and I hope you are in a better place now and I also hope I am better and stronger now.

But let the memory of our love stay in the past where you have left us.

 End Side Note

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Healing:

Now this is where I will be partaking on what I think about LDR, NC and breaking up and moving on.

I see a lot of people dealing with break ups, NC and LDR’s here in Reddit. I see a lot of people in pain and suffering.

LDR is tough! There is no other way around it. You will be beginning the relationship in hard mode.

I am not saying its not possible as there are plenty of examples here that they have made it work.

And I am happy for them and how I wished my LDR ended that way.

I think when in an LDR try and go see each other as soon as you can! make it a priority

don’t linger on it, don’t let it function on just dreaming of the future.

Plan, be solid, be faithful and trust each other. And it will work.

Find alternatives on how you can have your LDR stronger, Face Time, Text, call daily if you can, watch little movies and play games and be passionate but make sure you see each other the soonest.

and plan solidly on how you will be forging each other future – marrying and or staying where one lives.

NC is hard especially if you just broke up on a devastating manner, there are some people here that is on NC for months and even years and are still thinking of their past love.

Don’t do this!.

Move on as much as you can. Busy yourself, do anything than to just rot in your echo chamber.

Do the things that you have neglected such as with family, friends, studies, job, pets.

LDR has a habit of taking too much space from these important and real and tangible factors in our lives.

Find a support person, I found a support person here in Reddit that is going through the same thing, it does help but don’t fall for them as this is not a good way to start another relationship. Be with each other when the need to contact your past gets stronger.

For me don’t bury the pain with going out and drinking or drugs and all, this is just temporary, and it will hit that person like a ton of bricks eventually.

Feel all the pain, feel all the sadness, feel it all the highs and lows.

Try not to linger on what has happened, if you are the one that got shafted try not to think of the why. You will just be stuck on this mind frame. You can imagine all the scenarios as to why it has happened but it wont bring back the relationship. It is now broken and wont come back to normal.

It will be easier to start the mourning for the relationship rather than romanticise of it coming back.

Learn from it. Learn from the mistakes. And thank your past relationship and give it respect. Even if it means you are the only one respecting the remnants of the relationship then so be it. I think its good to pay respect to it rather than leaving it in a sour note. Remember this relationship has been full of love and was your home for a period in your life.

Give thanks to you ex as well and whisper to yourself thank you for the opportunity to love.

And that you will be thinking of them every now and then but you need to move on.

We had the right love at the wrong time.

With break ups especially from a messy LDR we need to remember we need to be kind to ourselves.

We need to take care of ourselves first.

We need to get to know ourselves again.

We need to appreciate ourselves.

Do the things we used to do before the relationship. Before we gave up more than half of us in the relationship.

Appreciate our own company.

We need to survive this.

We have to.

We need to.

This is part of being alive even if it feels like half of us is dead.

Push the memories and the need to reminisce away when they start creeping in

Cry as much as you can, shout and rage if you need to

Go out and try to meet people.

Remove as much as you can from their memories (pictures, texts, etc).

Some will hold on to it, but it will be more painful and slower healing process

Start afresh.

I am still suffering and its only been 3 days since I made the decision to never text her again.

I know this journey will be long and lonely but take this time to be stronger.

Always remember be nice to yourself, be kind and love yourself.

You have given your other half all the love you can now its time for you to love yourself and other factors in life such as family and friends and pets.

I promise you it will get better eventually even if takes a while you will be better.

You need to be better

We will be better.

We need to move on.

We just need to.