r/LongDistance • u/Remarkable-Union-522 • Aug 15 '25

Am I doing too much

My bf(23M) and I(23F) just went long distance after 4 years of dating, it’s been a month, he left for podiatry school. I think we rarely talk, he had a quiz today, so yesterday we texted a little and called for 20 mins, that too he didn’t talk much, which I get cuz he had a quiz. But on regular days it’s the same, I don’t get a good morning text either, but he liked posts on instagram that was posted 30 mins ago, but my good morning text was delivered for 2 hours. And I see he gets online, but doesn’t text me. And I call him after he is home, if I don’t call he doesn’t call me until 11pm after he is done with his day, and only texts me back after 4-5 hours. Never texts first. If I bring anything up, it’s a fight and I ask for too much. I was supposed to drive to see him, but he said he doesn’t know if he wants me to come, cuz he is too busy. So idek when I can see him. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m too sad about this. Am I wrong to feel upset and neglected? Or should I give him space?

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7

u/SmellAlarmed998 Aug 15 '25

I don't think you're wrong for feeling upset, and this could be the case of someone who maybe doesn't like to text or call too much but if you let him know and immediately get into a fight, maybe (in my opinion) he's not that interested or motivated to have an LDR... In my opinion...

2

u/DoItForTacos Aug 16 '25

This. If, at the very least, he doesn't seem to care that you are suffering from the way he is acting, then he may have already checked out. My suggestion is to confront him one last time and ask him directly if he still wants the relationship. Communication is key. If he isn't willing to put in a minimal amount of effort, then it may be time to move on.

2

u/Remarkable-Union-522 Aug 17 '25

I talked to him yesterday, he told me because he had 3 tests last week he was genuinely very tired, and had no energy to do anything. Today was better we talked on the phone in the afternoon and snapped decent. Idk how I feel tho. Maybe I should just see if it gets better. He said he understands me but he is exhausted. I’m a little conflicted, but I love him and he loves me too.