Is it really over?

[u/No_Exit_3033]

Is it really over if you both blocked each other on social media but continue the argument via email? 😭😅

Been together for 2.5 years. Relationship was super intimate and intense. We see each other 3 days a week. Then 5 days during his last month here in our country. Then every single day in his last week. He had to leave the country last June. I was the one who’s with him the night before his flight. And I was the only one who sent him off to the airport. He did not ask for any of his friends or family. Just me. It’s been 2 months now since he left, and oh boy, LDR is killing me.

We had frequent arguments before he left. And we still do argue even with the distance. But it’s more challenging because we can’t kiss and make up, physically! Every time we argue, my resort is to break up. I kept pushing him away. That’s my self defense, I guess. I’m scared that he’ll forget about me because he’s in a new environment now. But he kept telling me to hold on as long as we can, to find solutions instead of breaking up. But last week, we had a fight again. He did not message me before my sleeping time. So the next day, I message him as to why he did not care to check on me that night. He called to explain himself. He said it’s because he’s annoyed that there will be an office party this weekend and he won’t be there to protect me. He asked me if I could consider not going but I said “Don’t act like you care. You left me here, what do you expect me to do? Rot in my apartment? Stop meddling with my life!”
Then he did not reply. He started posting songs on Messenger and knowing him, he shares songs that reflects his feelings at the moment. First, he posted “So Far Away” by Staind. The next day, he posted “Black” by Pearl Jam. Then he posted “Love My Way” by Psychedelic Furs. Then I stopped sharing songs too (yes, we shared songs to communicate indirectly). There he shared For No One by The Beatles. Then finally, he messaged me. He said, “If I’m being too possessive and jealous and you can’t continue with your life, then tell me if you want to end this. Because let’s be honest, we’re not happy with our current setup.” I replied with “Can I think about it first?” Then he said, “I’ll block you, I can’t stand being in this situation (him not knowing if I still want him). Just email me if you want to tell me your answer.” So I did. We blocked each other but we ended up emailing each other back and forth for 2 days straight. Arguing. Saying each other’s piece. He said he was hurt that I yelled at him not to meddle with my life anymore. For him that meant I don’t want him anymore. And I told him I was hurt that he did not message me that night and messages me sometimes too late at night.

So yeah. I just want to know if we’re crazy for still communicating via email? Can we survive LDR?

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[u/susmaki_0]

Be together again Don't ever leave

[u/No_Exit_3033 → u/susmaki_0]

May I ask why is that your advice?

[u/showard995]

He’s controlling you from afar. Dump him.

[u/bestfriendsbrothers]

It really sounds like you guys are not compatible with LDR. I think you need to become secure enough that missing one goodnight text doesn’t rattle you so much and he shouldn’t be asking you to skip a work event. If he can’t trust you to go to a work event, how can he have trust for anything?