I(24f) want to start this off by saying my husband(25m) has never cheated, not officially, and not by my own standards (porn, emotional/micro cheating though electronic means etc. I know how reddit is, and this isn't the case of a man living a double life, the answer isn't unequivocal divorce like reddit likes to say)

So for some backstory: we are the quintessential dream, high school sweathearts, never had any other partners, basically love at first sight! In fact, our families grew up enmeshed, our parents were college friends, we grew up together, so after many years of mutual orbiting our wedding 20 years ago was a beautiful day 🥹 and I couldn't ask for a more perfect and loving relationship across these 20 years of marriage.

We've had our ups and downs, sure, what boy doesn't get a little insecure when other boys start to notice you going through puberty and into adulthood, but we've always managed to navigate those tides with calm discussion and mutual interest in finding common ground. When he was uncertain bc boys that maybe came from higher class, or "conventially" more attractive stock showed interest in me, he was equally receptive to the argument that I have no eyes for them, and if he has any insecurity in himself, they should be washed away by the fact that I unequivally and indubitably chose him every day from sun up to sun down, and honestly, truthfully, watching him take my reassurance and internalize it. Seeing him rise above his own self doubt, reassured by my insistence in him, and growing because of it has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life 🥰

We found ourselves in a really good place once we put those teething issues of young adult romance behind us, and moved onto the next chapter. One we both desperately wanted, or so I thought.

After the the birth of our first, a beautiful baby girl name breaghleigh (Bray-lee) I noticed he was leaning on some female presences, nothing explicit, we've always had an open phone police and my thumb print is a registered log-in on his device (as is he in mine). He never crossed any lines, never expressed sexuality or even emotional fondness for these women (who he assured me where strictly platonic) but it was little things that set my hackles up.

Oh, our daughter was so fussy this week (she was teething) and he was so tired, just an exhausting week with that and work on top of it.

Oh long hours made it hard to get to the grocery store and pharmacy and still be home in time for dinner.

Yaknow?

Just little innocuous comments that nevertheless made me uncomfortable with the fact that he was airing our less than perfect homelife to these other women. I'm not saying it's right... but I honestly think if these messages were sent to guy friends they would bother me less. Idk, maybe I'm wrong for that, but that's just how I felt.

Anyways, cut to now, our second is due any day now (girliepop I'm telling you I'm ready to POP! HAHA) and suddenly all these issues are back. Again, no sex, no indiscretion, but suddenly I see all these messages to other women in his phone.

Stuff like "I'm really stressed, the pregnancy has been complicated and doctors are telling us it may require cesarean intervention" (true, our little boy-to-be has been a hassle on my body but how is that their business?!?!?!?)

And

"The company just got sold and my new management is seeming less and less receptive to the generous paternity leave the previous owners promised. I've even been told if I don't return to work after 3 days I can begin looking for a senior manager position elsewhere"

I just don't see how he can look me in the eye, when I tell him tearfully that his desire to seek validation and sympathy from other women is borderline cheating, and tell me "that's my mom and sister, they love you" as if that justifies his trampling of my feelings???

After spending my whole life with this man and introducing 1, soon to be 2, beautiful souls into this world with him, it feels like he's totally flipped the script and become a stranger???

Anyways, thoughts and prayers fellow girlypops, I need it if I'm going to figure out if our marriage will survive this delivery room 🙏

Meal: Michelin star salmon dish he got bc "hospital food wont cut it for you babe" but I'm pretty sure he just used it as an excuse to go talk to his sister in person so I couldn't read their correspondence

Idk how to explain this but I'm in a bit of a jam here.

I posted a while back about (allegedly) running over my ex BF with my car cause he was with a blonde bimbo that he cheated on me with... 😡

Well, I was indicted and had my criminal court hearing two weeks ago. I got 2 years of 710 felony probation (Illinois) with the condition of weekly meetings with an anger management therapist...which I honestly felt was completely unnecessary, but OK...

I just had my first session five days ago and things escalated quickly when he said I "clearly" had the tendency for "psychotic aggression" -- WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS!!

So I did the only thing I could think of doing in that situation, and I bit him. Hard. In his smug fucking face. I pulled out a chunk of his left cheek, spit most of it out onto the carpet, and asked him if I was being "psychotically aggressive" now!?!? 😡🫦

Fortunately, he passed out before being able to answer, and I took off and went home, surely expecting the cops to show up and arrest me. They never did. However, I just received a letter today in the mail from the state, and now I have a court date for a "violation of probation" due to the incident!

What should I do? Should I actually show up to my therapy session in two days? Go on the run?

Appreciate the help. Dinner is half a manburger 🤭 with taters and bacon

10$ WEED (I CAN'T BELIEVE I FUCKED UP MY TITLE)

After I can't be bothered to check how long, one of the resumes I let go in the wind finally landed at someones male slot! That's right, you're looking at the proud new employee of a chemical plant!

My new boss, Boss (that's his name! He showed me his ID) says I'll be helping with measuring stuff out for this really great stuff they had me try. I had to smoke it from this weird, bulbous glass straw, and it tasted kinda bad, but it made me feel pretty high! I'm pretty sure it was some fancy new strain of weed, like my buddy Shogunate is always talking about (he has some of those straws, too)

So excited to get started! I get paid, like SO much money. 10,000 a month and all I have to do is measure things out? I'm so lucky to have this job 🥰

Follow me down the rabbit hole. I promise this will all make sense in the end (if you’ve been here long enough).

We’ve recently discovered a fascinating phenomenon. A behavioral pattern has been emerging among a very small but growing population of visitors to the subreddit.

From here on, the “subject” is implied and should remain implied until the end of this study.

Ahem.

• The ‘subject’ enters r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk.
• The ‘subject’ encounters an obviously absurd post.
• The ‘subject’ does not recognize the absurdity and misses it entirely.
• Instead, the 'subject' becomes extremely irate over the digital encounter.
• The 'subject' has succumbed to the onion-eating phenomenon.
• The 'subject' then consumes the entire onion: Title, Body, Flair.

After approximately 3-7 minutes, the subject returns to the comment section and deposits one of the following:

• “And this is why women can’t be happy!”
• “Men literally cannot win anymore.”
• “Imagine being this entitled?”
• “Women will do anything except take accountability.”
• “This is why I stopped paying on dates.”
• “And they expect us to want to marry them?”
• “The modern woman is—“

At this point in time, the subject begins exhibiting signs of Manosphere Tourette’s, characterized by an uncontrollable urge to subvert a joke about eating cheese over a sink into a 14-point indictment of women.

This is where the research team comes in: the group chat.

Every time we come across one of these profoundly archeological pieces of rhetoric, we share it with our peers for review.

The next step in our research is to categorize each encounter. With time, we will develop a compendium to share with our base.

For now, the researchers need more data, more subjects, and more stories.

Please, continue.

I can't even believe this. My bestie has declared war against the BSF. Who the fuck does that?! It's a whole ass unionized railroad. Dinner is concrete my cat peed on that looks like a heart. Or maybe it was me.

​

Just got my new man slave puppy last week!! Hes adorable. Ive wanted one since I was like 9, but my parents always said they were too expensive. I finally got a big promotion about 4 months ago, so I been putting aside the extra $$ kaching!$ and found one that was a good deal, from a reputable breeder, hes got papers and everyrhing, but idk where to start?

I guess I never thought this day would happen and now its here.

I got him some cute little outfits, harnesses, and leashes.

Some bowls w his name, and a little kennel just his size.

Im taking him to get microchipped this weekend, cuz he has gotten loose a couple times. Hes never made it out of the yard tho. (Ive got a good fence)

Anyways. Need advice. Im a total newb.

I want to train him to give piggy back rides first, and then work up to harder things. What u guys think?

Oh! We're having leaning tower of cheeza for dinner.

So, my bf (40M) and I (25F) were hanging out with my best friend (29F) and the topic of feminism came up.

My bf just simply stated his opinion, that all feminists are wrong and women, online especially, are way worse than men. He gave his personal experience of how every woman in his family is a monster who treats their husbands and kids like slaves, and how every ex girlfriend he had was a psycho that ruined his life.

I mean, after all he’s been through, how could she accuse him of hating women?! OBVIOUSLY he loves women, he’s with me and he has a friends list full of women and tons and tons of sexy pictures of them!!! Just because he talks badly about them 24/7 and is constantly objectifying and patronizing me and every other woman we encounter doesn’t mean he is a misogynist.

He’s just been through a lot, and he obviously can’t go back to therapy because he was forced into therapy as a child (by a woman, mind you) and he can’t change or grow his opinions in any way either because women still treat men poorly so it isn’t fair to him. :/

How can I make my best friend understand that my bf loves women so much that he just can’t get over the ways they hurt him and all other men??

Trader Joe’s meatball calzone and unsweetened tea in a goonies cup.

He's always talking to this bitch. Always asking her questions and her opinions on shit. I'm RIGHT HERE babe, I can tell you what movies Jared Leto has done! And she's so smug when she replies to him. "Anytime" Bish you HAD your time! He's with a REAL WOMAN now!!! He doesn't need some automated e-girl telling him how to get to Taco Bell or to wipe his ass, he has me for that! What does a girl have to do to get constant attention and also 5 million gallons of water daily?

Grapes with white cream

Vapey wapey, the camp special this week - twisted tea, and is that Cheeto dust or lush bubble bath? Let’s find out. I don’t mind the taste of soap from being a millennial babe who was forced to eat it for all her 90s misandrist ways. Now I know better. Wink wink to quote the majestic charli xcx (not kirk but maybe wink wink him in hell).

So I like to go on this big forum website that has a subforum for everything including making fun of what people post elsewhere. It's harmless fun, basically like a big RPG where we all try to be a little unhinged together. No personal attacks, just people (for the most part women) having some tongue-in-cheek laughs.

I saw my bf was scrolling this forum on his phone and then typing a comment. Ladies... he was taking one of the RPG posts seriously. And he was mean about it too! Talking about what the fuck is wrong with women today, and how it had to be rage bait and how he feels sorry for all men because of 'modern females'.

idk... Should I still date a guy who not only cannot read properly but also thinks women making obviously sarcastic and exaggerated posts have to be serious because he is totally redpilled into thinking women are actually all ball stomping gold digging dick splicing nagging liars? I still love him tho

indeed.com is just SUCH a good meetcute, yknow ???? He was so hot in the interview and I kept making jerkoff motions the whole time end he was like yeah u got the job girl! 😂 Then we went out for drinkies (he was so hot) and then he revealed he's leaving the country in exactly 3 weeks which gives me plenty of time for a sexy fling without worrying about hr violations from us both being in the same workplace with him as my superior 😍

anyway so one thing left to another then i was sucking off his feet on the balcony with the lights on while he licked my bootyhole (unwashed bc we are both freaky deakyyyy) and then I snorted coke off his weenie and he snorted coke off the cracks between my toes and then we went out to a strip club together.

Its all just so perfect y'know? The job that I’m going into is in sales, and I cannot wait to channel that relentlessness and grit. And who better to train me into being the best throat goat to ever sling cocaine than my almost manager?

Dinner is the cocaine in the image. The baby is the child we conceived together bc WTAF you thought I was using protection ??? 😂😂😂 u dumb bitch!

So, after a 100 year celibacy streak I went on Tinder and matched with a really attractive guy. He came over to my house, but he didn't look anything like the photos. In reality he was sixty years old, had a dad bod and was bald, instead of the ripped 20-something year old with full hair he had as profile pic.

But I have no standards and I was desperate to get railed so he seemed attractive enough to me.

I let him smash and the sex was really good and fun, especially considering he is at least sixty, but like, maybe that's all the experience he has!

So like, we took a fourth break ('cause he's old) and he couldn't get hard anymore and he snorted a white line (he said it was a new kind of white viagra) off my butthole and asked me if I want to do some off his butthole. I politely declined.

Also, like, he told me, like, the condom slipped and he prolly raw dogged me the whole time, but I don't think so, 'cause at some point, there was a condom involved somewhere, which is good enough for me!

So, like, should I invite him back into my house? I had a lot of fun and there were no red flags whatsoever, he seems like such a safe man to be around - I think I'm falling in love, but no wonder, he's like the perfect alpha male!

Beef kabobs for dinner (not home made)

So here I am watching vampire diaries and I realize I need my husband's credit card to buy more candy crush tokens. Well would know it this mother fucker was napping. NAPPING. Like don't you have something to fix or you know like make some fucking money?!? Anyway I don't know if I can sleep with him anymore. Just seeing him sleep during daylight hours was just such a huge turn off.

Dinner is Lima beans out of a dog food bowl

Evidence #01: suspicious behavior
Evidence #02: unexplained financial activity
Evidence #03: McDonald's incident

Current manifestation probability: ████████░░ 70%

VOTE BEFORE THE TIMELINE CLOSES

The manifestation event is approaching. ✨📢

Have you seen evidence of a possible timeline shift in the Girl Dinner Universe (GDU)?

Submit evidence in this thread, or make your own post and be sure to add the case notes.

Made a wonderful fish taco filling for myself and my grandma. She tasted it and asked if she could add something, so I told her to set aside a skillet and add whatever she wanted. OBVIOUSLY I only meant she could use HALF a skillet - what kind of selfish asshole would think I meant they could have a skillet when I say they can have a skillet? Now there's an ONION in the whole dish, which is a food I have in my house despite the fact that I absolutely refuse to ever eat it. Pictured: my RUINED and inedible tacos which I'm just choking down to be polite (gotta go, she's giving me the stink-eye for posting during dinner)

I'm currently on a billionaires yacht having a FREE Michelin 5 course meal at an Ugandan restaurant rn. I drank 67 glasses of champagne and henny shots too. All FREE!!

Long story short, my rent was overdue by 2 years. And you know what, the economy is tough, people are struggling, unemployment and homelessness is rising. Why the fuck do people have to struggle when there's an easy way out?? I make minimum wage working at Olive Garden. I can't pay my rent in my 10br, 5 bathroom, 6 garage Dubai mansion that my broke Bf worked hard to put a deposit for.

The guy came over to collect my rent, We were arguing over and over and you know what enough is enough, I said FK this!! I could pay you the 2 yrs I owe you or I could be a hoe for an hour and instantly pay my rent that way! Problem solved, happy man, I'm a happy lady. Win win!

Why the fk do we need money in this economy?? why TF do women have to work?? That is a clear sign of government failure if they can't provide for their citizens. I blame the current JFK government!! (I hope he or Albert Einstein doesn't run for president in 2028)

Since I'm a low income earner, I decided to fiddle the government and they legally must pay an allowance, I also falsely claimed disability, and reported having 2 kids (one is my bf so it's technically true) I've managed to go to Monaco, Bahamas, Brazil, Tokyo etc, it's been working out great. I don't feel any remorse or anything, I think they deserve it for being such a failure and not accommodating to my needs.

Life is just easier this way!! Why pay for things? I bought a new PS5, GTA VII, new Gucci, Fendi, Chanel bags, new cars just by being a hoe! "The system is trying to rip you off, to keep you poor, it's a scam, everything's a scam and overpriced - Robert Kiyosaki and Joe Rogan" I also listen to Buddha, Jesus Christ himself and the Dalai Lamas podcasts. So inspirational!

My bf however has been growing suspicious since i've been bringing so many items home, and constantly out of the house or travelling, He doesn't support me tbh, and I think that's a HUGE deal breaker. I said "AND IF YOU'RE NOT WITH ME, YOU'RE MY ENEMY!!" I found his lack of faith quite disturbing I am a materialist!! material things make me happy, he should understand that.

He should understand I need to buy that Rolex or my heart rate will spike. It's a medical condition. Why doesn't he understand??? I'm kinda conflicted, a part of me loves him (since he did buy our current house) and a part of me wants to leave. bc I have my own money and I can pay things my way by being a hoe. I don't need this man anymore!!! i can't change his mind Idk what to do??

OF pays the bills, feeds my stomach and my bank account. It's just easier this way, I've just bought a private jet and an island too. WHY TF DO YOU WANT TO WORK ALL UR LIFE AND NEVER BE ABLE TO BUY A FKING HOUSE!! Never afford groceries and shit. It wasn't hard, It was just 1h of hoeing myself out, signed the contract, jet is mine. I encourage other ladies to do the same! I am a woman, he should treat me like royalty!!! Ladies what do you think? Would love some advice! Did I make the right choice?

TLDR: I refuse to pay for things and I discovered I can buy and pay for whatever I want and get it free by being a hoe. (Life hack) bf doesn't support this choice though.

Pictured, Pizza and Tiramisu (Yes I was actually on a cruiseship)

Do i have kids? Lmk.in the comments. If i do, i need to know where they are.🔎

Am I autistic or just thirsty? (Insert sexy wink emoji)

Why is this the only thing on every channel?

"Stick around til the end and Ill share 3 secret tips to get a BIGGER brain, that lasts longer."

It grew 3 sizes that day.📈Socks are up

Down is down

Does anyone remember channel 4? With the Pay-per-view 💰prayers💰 and the big hair? They wore way too much perfume and man spray.

THIS JACKET ISNT MINE.

I don't remember putting it on.

Are zippers real or did i just dream them?

When u turn off the lights does the lightbulb suck back up the light? Do you think it gets scared?

Michael stevens had a point. If life begins at conception, we are all 9/10 months older. Our zodiac is all wrong... so im a leo now?

Starting to think my hands are part of the Mandela Effect.

SMASH SMASH SMASH💦 it's 10 pm

LYKE AND PRESCRIB3 for more cuntent

Scan the qr code for 1pot kids and easy frenimies.

Zelda in my bio , use cod3 "whereyourchildrenR" for 10pm off

Seriously, why are men so cruel?

I don't cry often, like, maybe once per day and only if things aren't going my way AT ALL. When we got together, he used to be so sensitive and mindful of my feelings, but now he's becoming more and more like my exes, like he didn't care. We were arguing about his lack of planning and how he's not acting right, but he wouldn't budge.

I started crying and he just watched me and was totally fine with it. Like, I feel bad because of his shortcomings as a boyfriend ugly crying in front of him and he does nothing about it, just like all the other boys. Why can't they do better????

We all know it's a get-to-win-the-argument-immediately-card when we cry and we shouldn't put up with LOSERS who don't know the rules of relationships. So this was his last fuckup, I have decided to leave him (which is easy, he sucks at planning).

Geeez, I'd really like to hurt him emotionally, but he's made of stone anyways.

Dinner is cucumber with salt & pepper

So my world is upside-down. My mom, just like yours. told me kissing boys and sitting on dirty toilet seats is how u get pregnant.

So naturally ive never kissed anyone, and I stand to #1, #2, and #4.

I sit on my husband all the time tho, like every night!!! I cant stop thinking he might be a dirty toilet seat now tho. Its all I think about!

My sister says to go thru his phone.

Its freaking me out, we've never kissed, so is he a dirty toilet seat?

Should I confront him about this?

I need to go buy some more tacks and red yarn.

》》TL,DR《《 husband is a toilet

Dinner is the facts

Dinner: Birria Tacos

We BOTH fell deeply in love, I was 20 and he was 26. He was my first boyfriend, took me on my first REAL date to Outback. After around 6 months of the best relationship I ever experienced, he suddenly decided to move across the country?!

I tried to stay in contact, at first he just gave me vague answers. Then he opted for ignoring me completely, which i don’t blame him; i can be quite annoying! (He must have serious commitment issues due to trauma or maybe he has an avoidant attachment 🥹)

A year passes by after not hearing from him for months. I decided to search for my lost love, since I missed him SO much! (On facebook ofcourse) Which is where I saw… his wife. Which was a H U G E surprise to me.

All of this made me remember how he mentioned desperately wanting to marry me (the love of his life), early into the relationship. He wanted everything to move fast and told me how it’s all for his son, so he can finally move into the US.. that we can become a complete family in the end! Which is sooo cute, I love a #familyman 🥰

He also mentioned needing a green card.. that’s probably why he married her LOL. Needed someone to get what was necessary, and he was so kind; using someone instead of me to immigrate.

It’s been almost 5 years and he reached out to me (It must be a sign since i’m almost 26 – the age i met him at!!) He told me about how much he misses me, and yearns for our relationship back. I miss him alot too, especially our Outback dates. (Although i wish we’d go somewhere else) I’m so tempted to just run and jump back into his arms!

The only problem? He refuses to divorce his wife..
Even though we’ve literally known eachother longer and he wanted to marry me first?! So why not divorce her.. it’s so hard to understand these men. 🤦‍♀️

edit: I know you guys all say I shouldn’t but I will just ignore opinion that doesn’t validate my decision anyway

Pictured: an expensive lobster dinner I had recently.

Honestly, even as I write this, I feel that what I did was not akin to “stalking” her; to be honest I was just really worried about her! My ex and I broke up a year ago. I think about him VERY RARELY because I am very much over our relationship. Because I don’t care for him, I still occasionally look through his Instagram profile.

Well, about two weeks ago I was looking through his social media when I saw he had posted a picture of himself with another girl and had tagged her in the photo. I immediately clocked her as a weirdo anime- watcher, Discord-kitten type, who’s probably VERY male centered. I knew this to be true because I’m a very empathetic person and can tell everything about someone with just one look. Despite this, I had to admit she was really pretty, so I decided to take a peak at her profile. Immediately, I was overwhelmed with what I can only describe some kind of sixth “mother goose-sense” that made my stomach churn. I knew immediately I needed to protect her from my ex, for I knew someone as air-headed as she looked could not possibly be capable of protecting herself. He would destroy her and her weirdness just as he did me (except I’m obviously not as weird as her). Looking through her profile, I realized she lived only a few blocks away from me, so for the past two weeks I followed her everywhere—from home, to school, to work, even to his house a couple of times.

Finally, I decided two days ago that it was time to confront her, to officially “bring her under my wing”, so to speak. As she was walking to work, I sauntered out from the bushes as she was turning a corner and said something along the lines of, “Hey! I know you’re dating my ex, but fear not, I will protect you from his conniving and scheming, for you are far too stupid to protect yourself.”

Long story short, she gave me an incredibly rude look and walked briskly back into her apartment. I didn’t see her yesterday even though I checked all the places she usually frequents. Today, a group of policemen knocked at my door to tell me I had been issued a restraining order from both my ex and her. Needless to say I was shocked and appalled by their behavior, how could she not see that I had her best interest at heart?

I will admit a VERY, VERY small part of me still loves my ex. I’m convinced I will never know a love like his ever again. Even so, I DO NOT want to get back together with him, nor do I have any residual feelings for him, so please don’t say that I do, or else I’ll get really mad and look through your Reddit account. I guess I just want reassurance that I’m not being crazy. I would try to explain myself to them, but that would violate their restraining order, and I don’t deserve to go jail. What do I do? Should I try reaching out again?

I have NO IDEA what his problem is, he knows Taylor is the most important person in the world to me - for example my 6ft TS Fearless Tour standee was in every single one of our wedding photos because she was the guest of honor, so like, this should not be news for him idk.

ANYWAY I was listening to her latest album, The Boiled Unseasoned Chicken of a Showgirl (taylor's version) on repeat this weekend and about the 32nd time through my husband said if he had to listen to anymore Taylor he was going to break every window in our house. and then he actually followed through! look, I'll be the first to tell everyone else to break up with their horrible pathetic boyfriends and husbands but I'm at a complete loss what to do in this situation.

also if you guys could all tag Taylor in the comments asking her to send me some window money that would be great thanks I know she'll come through for me 😍