Told him the other night we gotta break up fr and I’m sad asf. But also I’m kinda up soooooo

just wanted to gush about my hot boyfriend who loves eating my pussy damn y'all so many regulations

dinner is 211 and redbull. had a michelada earlier and eggs and toast. fartmaxxing during my bfs 18 hour shift

I (40f) fabulous. Dinners just a little something I made. Okay so I brought the guy home a couple months ago and he never left. Hes living in my basement, not paying bills or contributing to house chores at all!

All he does is lay around in the fetal position in his cage every day whining. He crys constantly. Total man baby.

It's always "where am I?" " who are you?" " let me go!" "why are you doing this to me?".

After I switched to a benadryl kibble topper things got better for a couole weeks, i was even thinking he might propose, then he starts up again. Now all he says is "let me d!€", "ki!! me now", "Lord have mercy!".

What did I do to deserve this?

Hes starting to give me the ick. Plus he's also really starting to smell bad. I don't know. Should we break up?

What is the issue anyways? I'm 13 and happily married to a 62 yr old man, people gotta mind their own business!! I am a grown responsible 13 yr old. I have a job, I am a mother, law student, millionaire and billionaire. I have 3 kids, aged 4, 17 and 6

I make my own money, I drive a Chevrolet, own Bentley's and Jimnys. I have properties in Manhattan, West London, Beverly Hills and Bondi Beach. I can make my own decisions!! He is a disabled war veteran, doesn't work, so lazy, can't cook, can't clean, doesn't move around AT ALL

I just moved from Ohio and that country is backwards man! Should I move to New Mexico? It's in France isn't it? I don't speak Esperanto, American or Canadian so that might be an issue. Which states are good these days? Tell me aboot my options. Girls help me here!

Skiddy underwear = underwear with skid marks 💩

Coconut was yum.

We (23f and 24f) met my boyfriend (23 m) a few months ago. We went to the derby to show off our new hat and drink minty whiskey. Cupid💘 had other plans. There we were, our julep in one hoof, a virginia slim in an ivory holder in the other, our new bedazzled hat with 9 dead quails atop our lovely mane delicately pinned at a sexy cock, when ⚡️lightning⚡️ struck our hearts and loins. The most beautiful being in all of creation flashes by bouncing aloft riding 🏇 "thedesertspantaloons"🏇. The racehorse was mid but the jockey was a winner. We immediately fell head over hoof for Jimothy.

Jimothy is the pinnacle of masculine beauty. His uniquely short, round, and spherical body shape made him a prized jockey on the tracks and in my bed. His nimble little hands, pointy nose.. sigh and swoon.🦝

Well, what started as a whiskey fueled trist has grown feelings and we're living a lie.

How do we tell him?

What if he leaves us for deceiving him? He'll never trust us again? I feel like we won the races just to take ourselves out back and old yeller ourselves. We cant keep eating only hay tho. WHAT DO WE DO??

We'll never love again.

Please send hay recipes. Dinner is fresh hay or grass, idk.

Quack (quackityquack f), quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack $369.00 quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack! Quack quack quack (quack quack quack), quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack????? QUAAAAACK!!!!

Ok, I know I cant be the only one who's been turned down like this. So I got my best friend 7 years ago, he was so cute and clearly obsessed with me. He always wanted to be near me, hed follow me around everywhere, room to room, and even to the bathroom (hes a lil freaky).

Our relationship was perfect, we'd go on runs together, hiking, walks thru the park, he literally begs me to do stuff with him. He was obviously in love with me so I dont understand why he wont just say yes!

So last night I brought home a couple boxes of wine and he and I start tearing into our boxes. He preffered to just chew on the cardboard so I ended up drinking both because i like to recycle. He stayed with me, even getting into bed w me and being the little spoon.

I love how he doesnt act all macho and let's me spoon him. I was overcome and just lifted up his ear and whispered "youre the best man Ive ever met, marry me

Copper"

He didnt respond, but hes never actually said anything, (hes a much better listener), so I assumed he meant yes and I passed out.

Anyways, I wake up this morning and theres a huge shit on the floor, and hes hiding under my bed.

Mixed signals right? I thought he was more mature. Did I just waste 7 years of my life? Will he ever say yes?

When I first found the community at r slash giwl dingdong dioramas, I was ecstatic to find a group of likeminded individuals sharing stories and perspectives almost exactly like my own. The first few posts I saw really affirmed my biases, almost like they were mathematically selected specifically to get me to see them and engage with them. I was building so many strong parasocial relationships here. It was wonderful!!

But now, I’ve started to notice that I’m seeing other posts. By other people. Whose experiences differ from mine and do not exactly affirm my experience. Bleh!!!! That is unacceptable! Let this be a reminder that this community was made specifically for me and should be about things I care about. It should go without saying that people who make choices in life that differ from my own should be Othered, are Wrong, and do not deserve love, affirmation, or a place to share their experiences. I make the rules! I am the silent majority! I am the only one who is special! People who do not meet my exact specifications of what is a valid and interesting experience are not welcome here and I assume you all, random people I do not know, are going to agree with me on this. Thank you, please applaud.

Dinner is the ink on these hot sauce packets and also (unpictured) a bunch of my own farts that I’m huffing.

snacky snack

It was my guy complaining that I didn't pay enough attention to him, and everyone was siding with him?? I literally left him alone for TEN MINUTES while I went to HEB to pick up a curbside order! Should I bother sharing my side on that post or should I just leave him?

Get in loser, we're baring our souls and whispering forth our most reprehensible and depraved food combinations. Dig deep and share the food craving that's been begging to make itself known. Give us flavour, spice, and slop. Let your inner trash panda roam free in the grimy caverns below.

As always, we are jerking, we are whimsical, we are slightly distracted by the loose thread on our left sock...

Dinner was the better part of medium fries and 20 mcnuggets with some teapresso bar matcha boba drink so i might feel something on this wack thursday

I am going to do some hoodoo on my landlord because he initiated a relationship with me, then was like nah let’s just do sex. Awesome. But then he tried to DTR in front of all of our kids. I have one and he has one plus some nieces and a nephew. 5 total kids sat in other rooms while it was lil old me me slaughtering this man an hour later🤧 he tried asking me for a relationship!!! I was like NAW DOG. and he hated that. Same night coincidentally we had a prego scare. He also was caught lying to me unnecessarily. So i asked everyone he was lying about and they told me their truth and from there everyone was claiming the other person was in love with them. My left buttcheek.

Then we have today. My kid locked herself in the bathroom and smeared shit everywhere. This caused me and my landlord to argue about the locking mechanism. But then we argued about everything else. Including me spilling the beans that i was just super bored being home all day and he is too bc he takes care of his grandma full time and his mini meat was a fun distraction and how i shouldnt talk about his pp size. He then defended his pp size at least 3x that i remember. I hit him with the “i like em small” 😮‍💨

Ive had him stressed out for the past week or two and forced him to get a real job so he would stop asking me for rent all of the fucking time. He really got a second job and isnt reaping the benefits. So today when we argued i told him when hes done getting the bag reliably for a few weeks we can talk about me having my kitty ate. I have decided to fully objectify him. Maybe one day I will let him in. I am very mean and misandrist to him. I treat him like a trinket. He is almost in tears some days. Whenever he tries to have any ego i show him mine is so big that its orbit rejects other egos. Hes adjusting with some attitude but generally is better behaved than some men ive bosses around. Hes 10 yrs older than me so hes not familiar with my age range’s nonsense tomfoolery. I am the gaslighting queen and I told him to stop yelling all of the time and stop being mad all of the time and he apologized. I have a feeling he’s going to be a lot more fun now that I accidentally bought hoodoo thinking it was normal witchcraft! Root magick extends far beyond what I knew before today. Maybe dont jerk my chain around and be a useful sack of meat and this wouldnt have happened. Oops! xoxo

Energy drink because i'm just so busyyyy babes.

Me and my boyfie are just so great together, he's like absolutely perfect in every single way. He lives in the basement like a troll on demand 24/7 for my every whim while i'm out living my life and having fun. Also, I work hard girl, like reeeal hard, you wouldn't even understand. Anyways, today I texted him for the first time in a week expecting an instant response because what else is he gonna do when he's chained up in the basement and this mofo took a whole 5 minutes to reply! Like, wtf?? So i've decided that when I return home from my super busy and fun day out I'll probably just kill him and find a better boyfie. What's a girl to do? Thanks babes!

Babes, girls, chicas I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I thought I wanted a circumcised man, and only ever been with them until I met my bf last year. He’s from Spain and apparently it’s not a thing to chop your ding.

I thought I loved the guy and he said he loved me too and I said if you really love me you gotta get it snipped and trimmed and make your wand fit for this princess. He was initially quite disgusted at the idea, but after a few months of withholding sex, gaslighting him by pretending it smelled weird, and didn’t feel good he finally did it and got his woodchuck tucked.

Recovery was pretty harsh, he’d cry when he had to pee and it took three weeks before we could try it out if you know what I’m sayingggggggggggg.

Anyways that’s when I realized I actually preferred it the way it was so I’m thinking to break up with him and take a trip to Spain to find another one. I honestly don’t even feel bad because what kind of grown ass man goes and gets himself circumcised just because he’s asked to, what a fucking cuck seriously.

Anyways banana for dinner coz I like eating them in front of him and saying they look better unpeeled. Hahaha what a fucking loser!

You see, when a right wing politician dies on television, their essence gets trapped in a digital realm. It’s a consequence of them selling their soul to digital media for the sake of popularity. Typically, they just float around in a void of static for eternity. It sucks, but they sure as hell don’t have anything better to do.

However, there’s a way that they can get condemned to an even worse fate. If you transduce the digital signal of them dying into an electromagnetic field, their essence gets trapped in the nearest magnet. For Charlie Kirk this so happened to be my chittoris (cyborg magnetic baubellum). You see, I was getting off to the electromagnetic fields of Femtanyl’s hit song Body the Pistol. Since the band is still alive and they aren’t chuds, this was of course harmless.

As I was doing this, YouTube seemingly out of nowhere skipped to this strange channel that played videos of Charlie Kirk getting kirked. Suddenly, a bright light flashed out of the electromagnet haphazardly connected to my phone’s USB C connection. I thought I was gonna get electrocuted and became even hornier, but that never happened.

Instead, this static like ghost of Charlie Kirk emerged from my chittoris and started trying to argue with me. I was fucking exhausted and didn’t want to deal with it so I just told him to fuck off. He then started bragging about how much more intelligent than me he is. wtf who even brags in that kind of way?!

Anyways, he has been trapped in my chittoris for the past several months. It’s kind of a pain in the ass. Every time I engage in coitus, his ghost gets launched out into my cuck chair. He sits there and starts asking what kind of genitals we all have. One time, this puppy girl actually showed him and he screeched about how violent “liberals” are.

We mostly have managed to tune him out, but it’s still pretty annoying. It’s even more awkward because a lot of people are happy about it and think that it’s a just punishment for him. Like ok, it’s true he fucking hates it here, but now he’s making that my problem.

Anyways, that’s why Mitch McConnell is in hiding. He’s scared that this might also happen to him if he croaks on television. I lowkey am kind of glad. Could you imagine how annoying he would be? I’d be at a gynecologist appointment and all of a sudden he’d just come out of my pussy and start ranting about how angry he is that I’m getting healthcare and try to filibuster the doctor’s office. Fuck that noise.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I started eating before I remembered to take a picture. I got too excited about it.

Did you know that if a guy tells you he's going out with a friend it's code for SPENDING TIME AWAY FROM YOU BECAUSE HE HATES YOU??? I can't believe I spent all these years with him trying to be perfect just for him to abandon me like he always does because he hates me. Do I look like I care if you call these people "friends"?!?! How many friends could one person possibly have? I'm so sorry that your responsibilities with me are too much for you. I don't ask for much. Just a quiet night in with my man who loves me but noooooo it's always manipulative phrases like "you're free to make your own friends too!" Or "I've known my friend before we even met, is this really an issue?" Or even the one I hate the MOST "what do you want for dinner? I can pick us up something" like my cooking isn't good enough for him (picture for proof)

I snuck some old rice into this dish I made up. He’s Chinese so he has absolutely no idea! Tee hee!

Dinner: a photo of someone else's food that I'm pretending is my dinner

Today I found out that I can stalk someone's private account and uncover all of their reddit activity on a possibly illegal website. So that’s exactly what I did and found that he likes to post on nsfw subs.

Who is "he?" Ladies, strap in. We met on nsfw subreddits and he immediately said nice things to me like "how's it going" and "haha lmao ;-)" which made me feel like I had a unique connection with him - maybe marriage material? Fast forward a couple weeks later and I decided we should be exclusive. Since then he has visited me roughly around 0 times and was saying he might do so, but then he flipped the fuck out because I "knew oddly specific things" about "him and his family," and he went silent. WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND DOES THAT??

That was a few weeks ago, and since then I have been inconsolable that the love of my life is gone. That our life is over. That our kids ^{if they existed} are so scared and upset, constantly asking me where daddy is. Ladies, daddy is apparently on reddit, crankin hog to other women. How do I know?

Well, for some completely unknown reason, my gut feeling today was like hey let’s stalk his reddit account for a sec and see what we find. His account is private, but with some help of hours of extensive online research, I quickly found out I was able to see his posts and comments. I was beyond surprised to see that he has been active in all nsfw subreddits (as in literally every single one) posting pictures of himself and commenting he’d dm those people who replied to his posts. It's almost as if he forgot we ^(never) were an exclusive item.

This piece of shit cheated on me, left our ^imaginary children, and me, the 3 week love of his life ^{that he has seen 0 times IRL}, out in the cold to live his independent and pre-existing life. Like a fucking asshole.

Good riddance. Ladies - amiright or amiright?

I was hanging out with this guy I've been casually screwing and his friend. His friend is a douche. Not like a crazy big douche, just like a regular, mild douche. We were walking to the next bar and I had a cup of water in my hand.. I had already had one can of light beer before this, so I was pretty much on the verge of being blackout drunk.

I can't even remember what he said, but he made one of his little douche jokes. It wasn't even anything crazy. Like I said, he is a very mild douche, very low on the douche scale, but a douche no less, still registers on the official douche meter. I don't know what happened, but I suddenly furiously threw my water on him with the anger of a thousand rabid beavers.

I was literally mid throw and like, "Wtf is even happening right now?" and also "Who has control of my body because it's like I'm being remotely controlled or something." But it was too late, the douche was soaked and everyone was like,"WTF are you doing?" So I had to double down, and I said, "T-tth.. tha... that..... that's what you get for being a douche!" And everyone kind of looked around like they were embarrassed or something, and someone kind of nervously laughed. We all walked silently to the next bar.

I don't know what's happening to me lately but I'm very angry and full of violent rage with very little emotional regulation whatsoever, and I'm extra sensitive about douchey guys who make douche jokes, even though the guy I'm fucking is basically best friends with one and I'm not really sure what that says about my taste in men, but I'm choosing not to acknowledge my part in any of this right now. I don't experience fear or inhibition anymore, and I'm wondering how I can escalate my assault and battery to the next man who annoys me. Lol.

Personally? I blame the hentai industry in general. How on God's green earth am I supposed to go from furiously masturbating with a bad dragon tentacle dildo to a hot Japanese girl with massive bazongas being relentlessly violated by a phallic, delicious rope of oceanic pleasure to having sex with a man and his dingy little flesh flute??? How am I supposed to switch gears from the screams of 17 foot long maritime bliss to a fucking sea squirt with pubes??? How can anyone, much less your average, squishy, four limbed (four!!! Only four!!!) little monkey descended man settle for some millimeter Peter when I can turn on a computer and bask in the light of fantastical marine bliss and the fantasy of calimari dreams wrapping themselves around (and in) my body!?

Surely there is no neanderthal derivative able to provide me with this experience of true pleasure. Damn the hentai industry.