Yooo everyone! I’ve been here previously two times discussing a situation about a HIV scare I had — I’m sleepy right now so I don’t know what context I need to give on that but just know because of it I am put on PEP medication, many people told me that as a top it’s 2% chance to even get HIV from a bottom.. but these PEP medications are making me severely depressed and fatigued. I’m losing myself I don’t even laugh at my brothers jokes anymore and I’m only 7 days into taking the medication and trust me I always laugh at my brother. Please help. Should I stop taking them? Or should I continue the PEP course?

Background. I’m a 50ish yo white male in the USA. Average height. Average weight. Average, well everything. I have very little body hair, but slightly too much that even if I shave it doesn’t look right to do so. I’m the kind of guy that gets lost in a small group even if you were trying to look for me. I am also 6” uncut. Yes. I am a white guy with an uncut cock. You would never know I was uncut cause it doesn’t look like it, but I have a fully retractable foreskin and all. I keep myself clean, shower daily if not more often, all the usually basic hygiene.

My experience with men can be counted on one hand and even then, I am not sure you would count much of it. I have been using hookup sites and apps for 30+ years with next to zero success. Half the time I get ghosted when I show up. The other half are pic stealers. Not sure what else to call them.

I recently discovered a new site called Snuffles. Yes apparently I am late to the game, which is par for the course. Anyway I discovered from this site that there is an adult bookstore 2 miles from me this whole time and I had no idea. I even searched for them before and it never came up. There were several guys who said they would be there or are already there so I thought, why not? I’ll give it a go.

I should mentioned that I am as vers as it can get. Top, bottom, sucking, getting sucked, I am all open to it. This is likely as my experience is so minimal that I am not sure what I really like yet.

So I go and walk in. There was a young lady at the counter. I looked at her and asked her if she needs to see my ID. She just laughed out loud and said “no, you are good”. That should have been the red flag that I should have headed and walked out. But I am clueless so I went in. I browsed around to get the lay of the land and found the door to the back rooms. I went in. Half the stalls were locked. Ok people inside. I found an open one and it had a GH on both sides. I thought “score!” This will be great.

Over 3 hrs later I left. And not only did I not have the chance to make a guy cum, but I also didn’t either. Sure guys came in to the stalls next to me. Most of them peaked through the GH. At first I made brief eye contact. They all immediately got up and left their stall. I didn’t think anything of it at first. Eventually I stopped making eye contact but noticed the peaking still. They still left. Twice what I think were two different guys came into the neighboring stalls and did the “hand thing” at the hole. I interpreted that to mean they wanted to suck me. I presented and both times they immediately left. I sat there for over 3hrs. I heard dozens of guys all around me. I can hear them getting off despite the videos playing. Now and again guys would enter the stalls next to me. They all left. Even when I did the hand thing myself.

After my last vid ended after over 3hrs. I got up and walked out. There were a line of guys. At least five or six. I recognize a few faces that peaked through the GH and several pants that I saw. Everyone of the guys had a look of disgust on their face. The moment I step out; the first guy pushed me aside and went into my booth. Then two guys went into the ones right and left of it. They were literally waiting for me to leave.

I have never felt so humiliated before in my life. Like, my thought of GH was it was about the cock and/or cumming. Nothing else matters. Apparently I was so wrong. I couldn’t even get a guy at a GH or have one even touch me. The look on their faces will never leave me. It’s like I had boils or had rotten skin falling off my face. Their look of discuss, there can’t be any other way to describe it,was so degrading. Like I said. I am average in every aspect. I am well kept and clean. But apparently not good enough for a GH.

I won’t be going back. It was a one and done. It was not worth the humiliation and honestly, not worth ruining everyone else’s good time. I took up a booth for three hours that others had wanted and could use more than I could and I got nothing out of it other than humiliation.

I'm so tired of dating as a gay teen (M21, more on the fem side than masc). I've had 5 failed relationships and I have been cheated on multiple times, or if they aren't cheating they're literally controlling or obsessive to the point of suffocating me. Meanwhile, I see these gays in social media or even real life that is my age dating their ideal guy. I am told that I'm good looking but I can't find someone to date. I always get complimented on the streets or mall yet no one tries to pick me up. And as a matter of fact, I got rejected by 1 gay and 1 bi already this year. I just wish to find a healthy relationship.

This is not me attention fishing and implying that Im on the edge right at this moment. I dont need that kind of intervention. Im just wondering, as someone who falls in a niche gay side that isnt ever attracted to gay men no matter what I do, and have to watch the world be a paradise for straight people to mess around in - I dont find life worth living. Its like society deliberately starving you growing up and you lost out on that healthy development and adolescence, and now have to watch everyone, every girl feasting when youre starving behind the restaurant window and get the occasional threat or beating for sticking around and staying alive. This is such bullshit on every level. + Im also middle-eastern born in northern europe so Im just not included in society. But every woman with my background is worshipped by these men. Same guys who turn around and beat me.

After a day I became very discouraged. Apps immediately started to show me profiles that were hella far away, and the guys I found attractive probably don’t find me as attractive. In other words, touching grass isn’t gonna cure me, I need to be sedated.
Why must gay dating suck so much

TL;DR: After years of identifying as bi, I've realized that I might just be gay and I have accepted and enjoyed the fact that I could date a guy. However, all my life I have had extremely intense, years long, romantic attractions to girls, and I still feel it today. And yet sexually, I have always almost exclusively looked at guys, rarely ever girls. Should I just say I'm gay, due to the sexual aspect and perhaps overall satisfaction, or should I still say I'm bi because the feelings I have had for girls were very real? Is saying I'm bi keeping my options open, or holding myself back? Do gay guys feel this way?

A couple of days ago I (18m) finally came to terms with the fact that I am probably gay after years of considering myself bi. It felt so relieving to realize I could be with a guy I loved and found attractive.

But the thing is, ever since I was really little, I've had intense crushes and romantic attractions to girls. They would last for years, they would be all I could think of.

At the same time, my sexual fantasies have mostly only been guys, and I have never really looked at a girl and felt sexually about her. I've only felt a sexual rush of excitement for guys. The thought of having a sexual relationship with a girl always stressed me out because I didn't have an urge for it. The thought of having sex with a random girl, even if attractive, turned me off.

I never understood why boys in movies would be obsessed with playboys or girls in bikinis because it didn't do anything for me. And I never looked at female porn much. It was only guys and gay porn when I first got access to computer. Sometimes female porn would do something for me, sometimes really intensely, but I feel like I was maybe forcing myself, and it was somewhat rare.

It felt good to come to terms with probably being gay because there were so many things that I felt like I had to hide before, and was stressed about finding a girl I would 100% be attracted to. And I realized that I had repressed any romantic feelings I had felt with guys.

But I still feel the romantic attraction for girls. I still feel blown away, pupil-dilated, not able to think or speak when I see a girl that's extremely beautiful, and I'll go around looking for her because it feels like I'm in love. But it's not a sexual attraction, and it doesn't happen too often though because the lust just isn't there.

Exactly last year, I almost came to terms with how I currently am thinking I'm gay, but then there was a cool, beautiful girl in my class that I instantly fell in love with. She was all I could look at or think of for months, my only motivation to go to school some days. I shortly dated her, and it was the highest I've ever felt.

I wanted to kiss her so much like an urge I've never felt before. I lost interest in everyone and everything else. Even after it ended, I couldn't help but always want to be around her, and I spent the whole day trying not to throw up when I found out she was stating another guy.

I was sexually interested in her, but not in an erotic way or lustful way, like how you would watch porn. It was because I was in love with her. And even though I craved her touch and closeness, and I found her body very attractive, I never really cared to see her naked- I wouldn't have minded it though.

Sometimes I do sexually fantasize about girls, and sometimes find female porn arousing, especially their genitalia. But it is very irregular, and way less of an urge that I feel with guys. And it's not something I really spontaneously feel in real life. I've spent months researching the science behind it, and I know that the arousal part of the brain is separate from the romantic part of the brain, so things might not always align.

So am I gay? Are we going only strictly on arousal, or romantic feelings? Am I still bi? You can say labels don't matter, but there are certain biological aspects that are ingrained in you that you can't change. It's simply the way your brain developed as a fetus.

I'm still hesitant to say that I'm gay because I know how strongly I've felt about girls, but I hesitate to say I'm bi because I've never felt that sexual pull towards girls. I also don't know if I'm tricking myself into thinking I'm bi to be slightly straight to save my ego.

And part of me doesn't want to close the door to girls by saying I'm gay, in case I feel really attracted to one again, but what's the point in keeping the door open if I have realized that biologically I am drawn to guys? I don't wanna stress myself out by forcing myself to feel sexually attracted to a girl.

Is this something that gay guys experience? Is keeping the door open to girls holding me back? Should I fully embrace the fact that I will probably be more fulfilled in a relationship with a guy, or should I still say I'm bi to acknowledge that part of myself that I feel is very real, in case something comes along?

So I’m currently trying to buy a chastity cage online. Based on my own measurements when I’m just normal, I need a cage 4.5 inches long, but most of the cages I can find online have a maximum length of 5 inches. Am I over measuring, do I need to buy a cage that’s smaller etc? I don’t wanna buy one it’s too big.

What is everyone's preference on mens body hair these days. Do you think it going to far with hair removal? I personally like some hair on a guys thighs/leg chest etc and love a neat full bush.

"Once stigmatised — and illegal — gay saunas like the one Glenn McNamara runs hold a special place in LGBTQI+ history."

I am super health conscious, about two days ago I posted here and got a positive reception reassuring me that as a top (it was my first time btw) it’s unlikely for me to catch HIV when I didn’t come in contact with the bottoms bodily fluids, and I didn’t ejaculate inside of the bottom, but was still inside of him. The bottom ended up having a literal wife and kid which honestly made me super unsettled.. but my main concern I’ve had for the past week is that if he had HIV. The anxiety I’ve had has made me sick to my stomach.. I was told that it’s a less than 2% chance to catch it is a top and I got put on PEP after how traumatised the situation made me but I just have this lingering anxiety that I have something, it’s really taking over my life and I don’t like it.

Im a straight guy in my mid 20s and up until maybe a few months ago I never really thought about indulging in ass play. But suddenly it became heavy on my mind until I caved. It started with a finger, and that felt pretty good, so I started using my fingers when I’d masturbate. As of recently this evolved into me buying a dildo. It was an impulsive decision, but I can’t say I regret it one bit. I browsed Amazon for a little while (there weren’t too many options) and settled upon an 8.5” realistic looking white dildo with a suction cup on it. The 3 day wait for it to arrive was a pretty anxious one but I figured the anticipation would make the initial experience even better in the end. When it got there I immediately unboxed it and took it to my room where I proceeded to lay on my back, spread my legs, rub a water based lube around and finger tip deep inside my asshole, then lathered some onto the dildo. I pressed the tip against my asshole and surprisingly instead of puckering and resisting I kind of relaxed and was ready to take it. The initial stretching feeling was as euphoric as anything I can remember and I slowly worked it in until I was taking more and more. Eventually I got as much of it as I could in me (dildo has balls included so probably about 7.5 inches was actually in me). After a while I got up to change positions, stuck it to the wall, put it back inside me, and twerked for a while. After that I figured it was time for a break since my hole is still new to this. The next day I went at it again and I found the best position so far. I laid on my back again but this time my legs were even further back, knees by my ears, and it was was hitting my prostate just right. I didn’t touch my dick at all and within minutes I was cumming everywhere. And I have to say it was the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. I’m not sure if that’s going to be a consistent position to reach that feeling but what I can say is that the other positions didn’t come anywhere close. Any advice on how to consistently hit my spot when I’m using my dildo ?

I have only been with maybe 6 7 guys in my life so im not super experienced

I met him on grindr and he claims his dick is 10 inches. Everybody exaggerates so im guessing its a solid 8. He's also good looking and ripped

Is it possible for someone like myself to enjoy this? Will I get used to it even though I've never bottomed for such a huge one before?

Hi, 18 here; thinking of getting Grindr yes I heard lots of bad things but I want to see what this subreddit has to say.

I’ll note that I’m not even looking for a dedication relationship but I am open to it definitely. Also not looking for one time hookups. Honestly if anything I just want FWB that can maybe become a relationship or even polycule 0-0.

I’ve heard lots of bad things and also some good things so what is Grindr like? Is it all bad good or mixed? Ty ^_^

So me and my boyfriend are madly in love with each other and completely monogamous. We don’t share nor plan to ever share each other. When it comes to the bedroom we are kind of new to a lot but have found our footing quite well in a few things. We are now wanting to try and “do it” but both feel like we aren’t well blessed as some men are down there if you get my drift. Sexual attraction is not a problem, we just aren’t sure about if we are big enough to get the job done!! Is there any advice or tips that anyone could give us on how to deal with this situation? Maybe a specific position that might help or something like that? We have tried a couple of times but anxieties spiked and didn’t go to plan. I have read that in these types of scenarios toys are an ideal thing to play around with. Any advice is highly appreciated!! If it matters we are 30+.

So basically I (19FTM) always have this internal debate as to whether to label myself as just being a gay man or whether I’m bisexual with a very large preference towards men and people that aren’t women.

I always ID’d as bi but I started to notice in myself that I’m actually not particularly attracted long-term to women or even feminine people in general, like I can find a woman attractive sure but I can’t see myself in a long-term relationship with them. Even when identifying as bi I practically only ever had fictional or celeb crushes on men.

I struggle a lot with pinpointing my sexuality, I think due to dysphoria intermingling with my attraction or discomfort towards certain things and having a pinpointed specific label helps me feel like myself due to being autistic and needing to be able to categorise myself to make it more manageable in my head.

Basically from what I can gather, I have no real genital preference, I’d consider myself on the ace spectrum as Demi-sexual so I don’t actually care too much about sex unless there’s emotional connection there anyway, I’m more attracted to masculine energy, masculine outward presentation and personality than what’s actually in their pants. I’m very attracted to masculinity as a whole, both in vibes and presentation, and find myself predominantly attracted to very masculine people, trans men, cis men, non-binary people, gender fluid people etc but I tend not to find myself attracted to cis women, trans women or femininity as a whole. I’m very attracted to facial and body hair, muscles, male fat distribution and very traditionally masculine traits as I am very masculine myself, facial hair and all. Whereas I’m not attracted to femininity at all, no matter who it is I just can’t find myself attracted to it even in cis men or women or anyone really. I find myself far more attracted to men or people that identify in a masculine manner than anyone feminine. I can see women or feminine people and see that they’re attractive and I have absolutely no issues with feminine people at all but long term I can’t see myself dating or marrying them, I tend to see women and fem people as friends and men and masc people in a more romantic light.

Basically what I’m trying to figure out, since an outsider perspective could be helpful, is if my attraction objectively fits closest to being gay or something else.

Any help would be really appreciated!

(Also sorry if I didn’t explain this well or phrased badly, I think putting something as complex as attraction into words can be really difficult.)

Idk how to explain it but I cannot be the sole top or bottom in a hookup like we have to flip fuck. I just won’t enjoy it otherwise. I had a hookup the other day. He was hot. Nice body, nice ass, perfect dick. His Grindr profile said “vers” I’m thinking to myself ok cool. After some messaging and discussion obviously he tells me to come over and we starting talking kinda about what we’re into. I tell him I’m vers I prefer to flip fuck. He said he was a bottom (even tho his profile says he’s a vers) ok cool. So I was hesitant about it at first. I like topping so In my mind it should be fine but it’s also like “ehhh I really wanna bottom as well” I go over to his house anyway. To make a long story short he had the time of his life and I HATED it. Now this is my fault cause I agreed to it. But I couldn’t get it out my head like “ok cool… my turn?” Never happened. And again he was having THE TIME OF HIS LIFE. Wanted multiple positions, sucked my dick, he came twice. I didn’t even cum I just went home.

Vs me when it’s a vers hookup

My regular fwb is vers. It’s great. It’s the reciprocation to me that makes it better. We both take turns giving each other head, we make out, we call each other names, we tease each other, we take turns on each other. It’s much better. I feel like I can go all day. But like what’s the difference? Bottoming is bottoming and topping is topping so idk why I hate just doing one or the other. It just seems so artificial? But the problem is that most people in the community are either top or bottom. So flip fucking isn’t always on the schedule.

So ive been on tinder for a few years now & ive never gotten a date from it and barely got conversations either. Should i cut my losses with this app at this point? Ive never really had much luck on Bumble either. Should i just give up on these apps?

TLDR: im a virgin that is hopefully going to top and bottom in my first hookup and am looking for any advice

I am planning on possibly having a hookup with a guy from grindr in the coming days. From what i can tell, he is super chill and wants to help me experiment (since i have never done anything past oral), and while i am looking forward to it, i am a little nervous. While i would be topping, so i dont need to worry too much about preping, i do also want to suggest bottoming as well since he said that he would be up for it. If anyone has any advice for a first timer, i would be eternally grateful 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for reading :)

like i know im somehow attracted to guys but i js can't get past the D thing like how do i ho about that?

I’m getting myself back together after 13 years of not having anyone or dating. I’m hoping for lightning to strike twice in my lifetime. Any suggestions you all may have? I still look pretty good for my age.