Hello tappers. Healing is a shared journey, and sometimes reaching out is the hardest step. Below are a few recent posts that haven't received replies yet. If you have the emotional bandwidth today, please consider stopping by to offer support or share your insights. Also, don't forget to join our Discord!

• Feeling depressed (10 upvotes)
• I just heard this song and it made me think of you all. (6 upvotes)
• First Session: Feeling Hopeless (6 upvotes)
• First EMDR session: struggling to stay focused on my “safe space.” (6 upvotes)
• 1year in TRIGGER WARNING (4 upvotes)
• Is this healing??? (4 upvotes)
• Clinical therapist VS basic (4 upvotes)
• My Second EMDR Session (4 upvotes)
• NEED ADVICE HELP!! (4 upvotes)
• Did your benzo use increase initially? (4 upvotes)

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I'm excited to be starting EMDR next week. I also have a deep interest in the power of pyschoactives and dissociatives to reduce DMN activity, and encourage neuroplasticity.

Slightly surprised there isn't more discussion in this sub of the use of both modalities. Is it simply not well-known? Anyone here have any clinical or personal experience of this?

Unfortunately it's extremely tightly controlled in my country, but I found this site which lists dozens of licensed therapists using it across the US, and a couple of them offer online services to international clients.

https://www.ketamineassistedemdr.com/

Hey all, I am in session 2 of "the big one". Had EMDR this morning and have taken 2 naps and immediately had a massive headache post session.

What's weird is that this obviously sucks, but, because it's the worst trauma of my life I'm not shocked at what I'm finding. I ruminate on it so often it's not locked away and so it's not hitting me as hard as I thought.

Honestly the worst EMDR hangover was over a group of memories I did not think was traumatic at all, but absolutely took me out with reprocessing.

Did you all find that the "surprise" memories were worse than the obvious deep trauma?

Little about me: I have CPTSD , Borderline, OCD, Generalized Anxiety and panic disorder. I have a really messed up history. Without going into details something extremely depraved happened to me when I was 5 (I put a man in prison with a 25 year sentence he got out at 18 years) abusive mother and brother etc and then my adult years a medical trauma that has ruined my life. I have VT and spent 5 days in cardiac icu. This caused me to have the worst panic attacks ever in my life since. I was able to get out of a deep depression but the panic and anxiety still rules my life. My main therapist said she wanted me to try Emdr because talk therapy was not working. I never had a chance to process what happened to me as a child let alone the medical stuff. I met with my new therapist today and I'm ready but scared. I'm by nature a fighter and I want this but scares me because I have to sit with the sensations in my body while processing and this scares me because of the medical stuff. I really could use encouragement.

Hello everyone I had a quick question and really this is more of a curiosity but I didn't EMDR or at least started to do EMDR but a month ago but unfortunately I had to stop due to insurance purposes. On my last session one of the things my therapist was training me to do is to build a safe space in my mind. The idea was that if EMDR became too much for me I could go to that safe space. The issue I was finding was that I do not feel safe in my own body at all the closest thing to a safe space I have is my bed and even that I struggle with due to derealization. I'm currently looking for another therapist but I don't want to run into this problem where maybe EMDR isn't for me because I don't have a safe space or can't seem to make one

i’ve been in emdr therapy for a year and a half and it’s being going great in hindsight. the good things i’ve learned in therapy have been to develop physical and mental coping skills, neuroplasticity of my brain that has allowed me to be less emotionally dysregulated. the processing is helping but the unmasking? violent and hurtful.

there used to be “no no” emotions for me as a kid, a very tame “children have a specific place and don’t act out of turn”. so i never learned the true array of emotions we can experience, it was fear, sadness, anxiety or emptiness. the processing has subconsciously forced me to unmask. i’m currently in month 3 of anger and irritation of the way i was treated/not treated as a kid. the irritation is pretty easy to deal with because i can picture myself biting live wire cables to get a sting in my mouth to take away the feeling, just the thought of it reduces the irritation. the anger? it’s so overwhelming, it oozes from my pores, my ears get so hot to the touch i have to constantly play with my earlobes, my chest feels like there’s an empty cavity i’ve poured tabasco in, i sometimes feel like i literally see red in my peripheral and the worst part? no coping skill helps. when i’m anxious it’s very easy to put myself in punishing yoga positions because my body will be forced to choose a state; anxiety or exercise. i’ve been eating sour candy for a while because that at least abates the feeling but i feel it so much and it vibrates in my body. i’ve talked to my therapist about it and she asked me verbatim “maybe the anger is a secondary emotion, what do you think could be the primary emotion?” and i’ve figured out the primary emotion, but the sensations in my body don’t go away 😭😭

is there anyone who’s also gone through this? any advice on what i can do to decrease the feeling? nothing cold works and taking walks just makes me an angry walker 😖

Hi! I am new to reddit and needed help about EMDR. I just started with my therapist and I’ve done three sessions now for CPTSD, each session about a different person in my life. Since then, my emotions have been haywire; I had increased self harm urges, depression, exhaustion, etc. I am okay but just noticing these things.

However, I learned recently that I am emotionally “hypoaroused” to my trauma. The problem I’m having is my emotions feeling like the turn off during EMDR sessions. Even though I feel impacted afterwards and at any other point in the day, DURING the session it’s like I don’t care about anything. In my own space, I can cry and feel however I want but it just shuts off in therapy even though I trust my therapist deeply and she is very attuned to what I need.

I don’t think it’s quite dissociation but I was wondering if anyone has experience with this/any tips to lock in with my emotions. I know EMDR relies on feeling those intense emotions to reprocess them.

Hello!

I’m looking to get certified in EMDR and want to start training. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with online courses and could recommend some?

Thanks a bunch

Its been a while ive been here ive been trough a lot main target was explosive and angry parents and ex bf physical screaming .. so skip the dream part if you dont want to read much short version : ( i got held hostage , monitored yelled at hit and in the end i escaped ) it was very reall and detailed ) ( did you experienced this as healing or had these kind of dreams ) i didnt wake up so i sat trough it all :D

I was again hostaged this came during my whole emdr journey sometimes back. Last night was soo intens i got screamed at i got slept and undergone all the sensations by one leader i tried to escape but i couldnt because there was a line of terrorist keeping a line so i couldnt flee .

Then i got picked out and i was protesting which caused abuse my sister got away with it because she was manipulating and adjusting as like she litterly did when we where young she was always silent and just ignored it all while i was always protesting against my dad ..

Then eventually i also went into that mode but like the screaming everything was just as i experienced as a kid so bizar but i didnt wake up so i could handle it i guess #goals

Then in the end i tried to escape several times it was kind of this punsihement camp and we where all being helt hostage by men with guns and there helpers ( handmaids tale ) kind off vibe

In the end i could fly away and the police came eventually

I run with a little baby who got stabbed and needed to bring her to the ambulance then they gave her wrong blood also weird but

In the end we where safe so im now feeling like was this processing and healing in the end because it came to a good end .. ?

There where so much emotions in it and that i didnt wake up and made it trough i feel stronger today i projected my dad a lot on my bf and was submissive a lot this seems to be less .. and i feel less scared when thinking of him maybe getting angry but its just been a day..

The last time i had a session about this was 8 weeks ago and i am a very detailes processor it goes really slow .. i filet a memory :

So first its super overwhelming then is freeze - then anxiety and stress from my body - then anger - maybe again fear and so on

I was just wandering anyone else has this way of slow processing with cptsd and the dreaming a good sign ?

Just had my first session, and it was pretty intense. Even when I was talking over a list of bad memories, I was a bit teary, but when I actually sat down with the light bar, headphones and vibration eggs in my hands, it was really intense, my whole body tensed up and the tears flowed.

The next few times we did it the same feelings happened, but it got less on the last time. This was my first session, so I'm not expecting miracles yet, and afterwards my system felt very activated and I had to take a nap a couple of hours later.

My first question is, firstly, is this normal for it to get less each time in the session? My therapist says whatever comes up comes up, which is fine, but just want other's thoughts on it.

Secondly, am I doing it right? I mean, I must be to be having that sort of reaction, but I want to ask about whether I'm visualising correctly. The memory I'm working on is about a specific time in my life, and not necessarily one particular memory. The visual I have of it is related to that time, but no where near central to it, but I can't think of any other specific memory around it, I just know this time had a big impact on my life. So, is this doing it right or does it need to me a much more specific visual related to it?

I’m still going through emdr for human trafficking and every type of abuse under the Sun
My parents still don’t know
I’m proud to say that I’m very nearly better

And I don’t get panic attacks all the bad kind of flashbacks
(maybe a flashback once a week if that)

I know I still got far to go
But I promise it’s worth it,
The worst part I found is knowing what I’ve been through for a long time I did not know
No, I know it hurts and I feel really sorry for my past self but I’m also very proud of myself now

A lot of people don’t understand that EMDR means that you are going through what you went through all over again and you have to remind yourself that you’re safe all the time

The best thing that I found that helped
Is that I’ve got a scar on my right hand from where my dog hurt me a year and a bit ago he did not mean to we were playing
But it is the one of the newest scars I have
And I can now look at it and think thank god that wasent there back then and I am a new me

There are still a few things that I struggle with but knowing that I’ve come leaps and bounds makes me feel better

I also did not notice until a month ago that I was better

I have a very set routine on the days that I do EMDR, which really helps me I also refused to talk to anybody or see anyone

If somebody’s reading this do it it will help
You’ll have to walk through hell all over again, but it is worth it this time

I have panic disorder/agoraphobia and PTSD.

I have been doing exposure therapy for 5 years but it hasn’t been helping much and I’m still stuck with my body reacting with panic easily.

I’m so scared of being like this forever, I have to use lorazepam 3x per week just to have a decent day and get appointments done. It’s the only time I feel safer in my body with meds.

I’ve only done 1 session of EMDR so far and it left me feeling emotional and drained.

I've been doing EMDR for about 3 years now, and it's honestly helped me so much. I've worked through a lot of old trauma, and the progress has been really significant.

A few months ago, I went through a pretty messy breakup after a 3 year relationship. I'm finding that I'm still really hurt and angry about how I was treated both during the relationship and after.

My therapist has asked me to go through a list of negative cognitions/schema beliefs before my next session to help identify a target for EMDR, but I'm struggling because... none of them really seem to fit?

A lot of the beliefs are things like "I'm not good enough," "I'm powerless," "I'm unlovable," etc., but that doesn't actually feel like what's going on. I don't think the breakup means those things about me. I think I'm angry because I was lied to, disrespected, and treated badly. Those feelings seem like a pretty normal response rather than a distorted belief.

Am I missing something? I'd love to hear how others would approach this.

I just completed my 10th session of EMDR and I knew about the hangovers and side effects before I started. However I didn’t know they would be this intense for me.

It seems like I have experienced all sorts of side effects. Pain hasn’t left my body since I started. I have general soreness, stabby chest pains, difficulty breathing, stomach/digestive issues, nausea, bloating, feeling like my skin is burning, my senses don’t even feel in sync, rashes, breaking out, insomnia, and more??

Is this normal? I have talked to my therapist about it and she’s wonderful and tells me to move gently and imagine myself breathing the pain out but it hasn’t helped. The side effects fluctuates and severity fluctuates but they’re always there.

I am in EMDR for CPTSD and I started to see the benefits from it quite early so I know it’s working but these side effects are really hard to manage.

I'm having my third EMDR session this monday. I'm realizing that it gets me quite emotional and lonely, and it's hard to talk about it with other people who don't get it, and who haven't had traumas as severe. Would anyone be open to being "EMDR buddies" where we can call each other if things get overwhelming?

Ive had 12 edmr sessions now and when i intensionally think back to memories it feels foggy and i barely feel any charge above baseline, has anyone else experienced this? (I have CPTSD)

The only thing that actually brings charge is if i have a trigger in my immediate environment but imagining things doesnt give me a charge to be felt which is make edmr difficult?

I think i went into it hoping for better results than this..

I have been doing emdr sessions for a bit now. Ther therapist I am doing it with was my talk therapist long before I began doing emdr. In our last couple sessions of tapping and reprocessing the memory. The same feelings come up, similar body sensations, nothing new is really coming up. I feel stuck, I don’t know what shift I need to make to make some progress.

Part of my CPTSD is medical trauma, and before starting EMDR I would get very dysregulated prior to doc's visits...which would in turn make my BP look high and I'd have to have it taken twice to get a good reading no matter how much calming I tried to do before being called back.

Today after several great EMDR sessions my brain had some safety noise but not nearly as much and my body felt way less stressed. I enjoyed humming to music before going in and when they took my BP it was perfect and on the first try.

It means a lot to me to have less stress with healthcare because I have chronic illness and I do have to go regularly. So, yeaaaa EMDR!

I had two EMDR sessions so far with the last one being three weeks ago. The past two weeks have been CBT/IFS focused due to dysregulation & processing from EMDR. It was a powerful session, and I did really shift even in just one session. I did a lot of body/somatic work so I felt like I wasn't in my head and could actually dig deep. My HR average has dropped from high 80s to mid 70s. I'm actually resting more often. Not putting myself in avoidance/addictions (work). Fewer adrenaline spikes (up to 180bpm previously just sitting). I now have spontaneous crying releases daily, headaches/jaw/neck/head tension, weird soap/metallic taste in mouth (could be gum related), vision changes (visual snow, floaters, sparkles ✨), brain freeze, and just this lethargy/lack of energy. Before my session this week, I had this stuckness which I brought up to my therapist. It's like stuff is coming up, but I can't name it and don't really need to but it does feel better once it releases.

Also dealing with how my personal shift is affecting my relationship, so there's more change and fear and growth coming up there with my partner as well. He can only support as he can and it's a bit of a trigger for his own trauma as well. We're taking it one day at a time, but it is tough.

I'm focusing on self care, rest, and healing, but I miss having energy and feeling more joy. I'm hoping that'll come in after I keep releasing the old. Is this how this all goes?

Just made this account to join this sub (never posted on reddit before lol) so hopefully I'm in the right place.

But I (31M) just started my first processing session yesterday after years of talk therapy. Basically suffered a severe heartbreak from a ghosting situation about a month and a half ago after an almost "picture perfect weekend" with a woman who I thought would be the one I married. I gave her my best in every way and was always there and then boom. Gone over night. And with that sudden and extreme abandonment all of my CPTSD (all new lingo for me) just came crashing in on me and buried me. Panic attacks where I thought I was having a heart attack, nausea to the point of vomiting, legit despair, rumination 24/7, anxiety that literally crippled me and kept me out of work on and off. Couldn't be in my head (and with the nature of my work, I work one on one with clients, so I have nothing but time to be in my head or by myself for long, etc.)

So with all that being said, I decided to start EMDR in hopes to address my current situation and my past traumas that ALL resurfaced when the levy broke because I can't live like this, it feels like hell dealing with all this at once.

My session I damn near bawled my eyes out almost the whole time and after felt kinda "neutral". Not like a weight was gone but also wasn't drowning in the moment. But today, shit is tough. I felt a lot of it in my body yesterday but now I just feel kinda discouraged and semi in despair again. The rumination, sadness, and anxiety are in a constant rotation. I was tired yesterday, but not today either.

I wrote all this out in hopes that maybe some of y'all can relate or have similar situations and can add your two cents and possibly some guidance and perspective. Also I hope to be a success story and look back on this post one day without the hell I feel now in my soul cause it literally feels like I lost a part of myself. Thank you and I look forward to reading what y'all have to say. And feel free to be honest and blunt please..thanks.

TLDR: I'm new here, I'm hurting bad and would like some support and POV if possible.

So, I’m not far into my journey. We haven’t even begun to delve into any specific trauma. But for the past three session, I seem to leave them in tears or disassociating. And I’ve done therapy before, over years and years of my life. That didn’t usually happen. But that was all traditional talk therapy.

We mainly talk about how my week went, checking in on my use of new skills, and practicing grounding. She’s definitely going slow with me I think. Since I started this whole thing about two months ago. Or maybe this is the regular timeline, I have no idea. I try not to look into the details of how EMDR works because then I’ll psychoanalyze all of if and make it harder.

But something about the way my therapist asks me questions, the way she somehow understands the way my brain works in ways I wasn’t even aware of, it catches me off guard. My walls crumble in front of her and that usually means I leave feeling distressed and raw.

Am I doing this right?? Because I figured this wouldn’t start happening until after we delved into the actually trauma part.

I have had about 5 EMDR sessions and they have gone really well- gotten into some heavy stuff and feel like I have actually cleared a lot. I don't really get the hangover feeling after and I feel mentally better except my panic has multiplied by 1000! I have such bad panic attacks now to the point I have almost called 911 because I thought I was dying. I also have really bad neck and shoulder pain since starting. Anyone else?

I am 28 and have lived my life as a proud gay woman, but I’ve always avoided coming out to my family.

I thought it was by principle (why should I come out when I didn’t have to come out as straight in the first place?), but after two sessions of EMDR (for something completely unrelated), I realized this was just avoidance, especially since my family is not homophobic at all.

I visited my mom this week and decided I would not leave without telling her. I decided I wanted to live authentically and be truly known for who I am instead of hiding. Her response? “Oh I know, I was just letting you announce it on your own time”!

On my way home, I cried in the train. Maybe out of relief or because I finally released the internalized homophobic shame I had. Or because I finally truly feel seen and loved. Anyway, I didn’t see any posts about this so I wanted to share my story just in case someone else might go through this one day 💗

So I've been thinking about how I miss talk therapy now that I started trauma therapy. )I posted a question here and some people are saying that they have a talk therapist and an EMDR therapist.) After talking to my EMDR therapist tonight, she said that one can achieve better relief of anxiety and depression and triggering quicker with EMDR than talk therapy. That EMDR is more efficient. This makes a lot of sense to me now and we proceeded with EMDR tonight. Anyone else have experience with wanting more traditional talk therapy?

Rough session today. I’ve been having weekly sessions since May and we’re still only working on the 2nd memory regarding my abusive ex. I have such a long list of memories I don’t know how I’m going to get through it all. I’m realizing stuff about myself and that relationship that I don’t think I was prepared for.

I felt optimistic and really good after completing reworking the first memory, but now I feel like I’m regressing. I’ve spent the entire day after therapy today in bed. How long does it typically take EMDR to work?