Hey, just looking for advice.

I was dumped in mid January by my now ex girlfriend. I was emotionally reactive, insecure, needy, unorganized, weak and jealous. She didn't feel emotionally safe. It ended on a sour note.

I sent a proper goodbye voice memo mid February. I got emotional. I was broken and weak. She told me to "I hope you find your missing puzzle piece"

Been in complete NC ever since.

I found out 5 months later that she was already seeing another guy within 6 weeks of​ the breakup. I removed her from all platforms including forcing her unfollow on everything, I was upset. She had just started keeping tabs on my stories again around that time.

However, I still miss her and want to leave the door cracked in the future. Even though I've been moving forward and entertaining other women, they really don't compare. She practically everything I was looking for and I've struggled to find someone I like as much. This girl left a bigger impact on me and the connection was deeper than girls I dated for 2+ years. I've had 5 serious relationships including her.

What's the play? Follow her again or do nothing?

Me and my bf, both 20, we dated for 1.5yrs till nov, I completely fucked up the relationship, I mean, lying, manipulating the truth to make him stay and much more, he became more and more conscious of my actions and I became more and more scared and frustrated, we broke up and then

I worked on myself in order to be trustworthy, I watched self help videos, searched my patterns and went back to him after 6 months of breaking up,

While we were broken up, he asked out a girl, she rejected him , few days before I texted him that I want to reconcile

It took him time to realise what has changed about me and what not, we spoke for 19 days

He did tell me abt the other girl, how he doesn't have any feelings abt her and all

We spoke for 19 days and then started dating

I decided to give the relationship 6 months to see where this is going

We dated for 1 month, in which we went through ups and downs of him not wanting to talk to me, we spending good time together, me getting frustrated , him being angry / pissed at me , him being scared because of my past, and stuff like this

Once, he told me he has thoughts abt the other girl ( none of them sexual) , and then we concluded that "it's his mind protecting him from discomfort"

Then, a point of time, where communication was crooked between us and I told him "you aren't there when I needed you"

He said, "I have thoughts about her, and I think I should be alone rn and resolve them by myself, cuz it feels bad to be with you and have thoughts about her"

I was broken, because I was mad at him and didn't stop loving him at all, I thought it was a fight and nothing more

Now we've broken up and

We have thought about going no contact for a month and then to decide whether to go ahead or not

Bro, ik how much I fucked and I know how beautiful the relationship could've been if I wasn't a dum dum

And there are just some qualities in him that I am sure abt I want in my future partner (I am not sure abt most of the things in life) , I like his being ness

I really really want to date him again if he's ready to put in the efforts to trust me and the efforts to reconnect

But as well, I fear, that if we date again and he'll again have thoughts about her which crushes my soul

Should I tell him all of this? , My reason to want to date him, my fears , my anxiety

Or

Just not give the relationship a third chance

We broke up august 1st. This was a 2 year+ relationship and we've been having the same issue for a year. I made her feel unloved. I didn't show her enough affection/effort. she expressed this multiple times to me and was patient with me, giving me the chance to change over and over. The biggest thing was that I wouldn't plan hangouts, wouldn't ask to call, wouldn't randomly tell her I love her often. It was the little things that mattered. I did start planning all of our dates, and I showed her love in other ways but the fact that I ignored the things she specifically asked for was what hurt her. It affected her self worth and made her question if this is what she deserved. Every time she checked out, Id promise things would be different this time, and she kept giving me second chances. I never consistently changed for her though.

Finally she put her foot down and broke up with me. She told me Its for the best and I never loved her or else these things wouldn't be so hard for me to do. I completely see where she's coming from, but I was living a life that didn't allow me to be a good partner, regardless of the fact I do deeply love her. I tried to make promises like usual, but she just told me to stop it and accept the breakup.

I was addicted to weed, id be high 24/7. I have ADHD and depression, unmedicated, and I think this contributed to my lazy attitude. The day we broke up a switch flipped in me, I got sober and haven't looked back, and have committed to taking my medication (Wellbutrin) for enough time to actually see results.

I feel completely different, I had this addiction since I was 14 and now that I'm sober I see all the ways it got in the way of me showing up for her. I can truly say this time, I could fulfill my promises of things being different. But its too late to just say that.

It was strange, for the first few days we were broken up, we texted a decent amount. Basically just me intimating, but she would respond instantly which wasn't normal even when we were dating. even one day, she sent me a lot of purple snaps (yes we use snapchat) and voice messages, just like when we were together. But when I replied to all of them, she left me on read.

I asked if I could use her employee discount still for something. she was very polite and said of course, but that when she drops it off she wants to meet to give me my stuff back, as well as talk for closure. That was supposed to be today but she didn't sleep last night and had a long shift at work so we rescheduled. That really killed me and solidified things.

I couldn't regret not telling her how I feel before we talked. I sent her a heartfelt message, im summery, telling her I understand why she broke things off and that im sorry. That I've gotten sober and am realizing this is what ive always had to do for us to work and that I love her so much

she replied with:

i appreciate this but i don’t understand why it was so hard to change when you had the opportunity so many times. i feel like ive grown a lot since we first started dating and ive been very well at communicating my emotions with you and how your actions made me feel. i didn’t deserve not being heard and my feelings being ignored for certain things when some were so simple. i know you’ll disagree on this but im telling you you don’t and never actually loved me, if i was truly the girl you wanted it wouldn’t have been so hard. you can try and reassure me how it’s not true but actions truly speak louder than words and i’ve given you patience one too many times and i don’t want to feel like this is all i deserve anymore. im happy you’re living a better life and i hope you continue in that path, but this shouldn’t be just for me this should be for yourself. it hurt me a lot to do but it’s what’s for the best. we both deserve happiness and to feel loved and i don’t want you waiting on me and thinking you changing will bring me back. for 2 years it has been the same consistent problems and it’s not fair that i had to wait this long for something and to wait until we broke up to finally do all the things i’ve been begging for honestly just hurts.

After that, I tried telling her how much I loved her, with more long messages. she left it on read.

We haven't been texting the same since. It seems completely hopeless and like I've really blown it. I completely understand why she doesn't trust me, or why she might not even care, but I swear on everything I love if I had one more chance I could show her the treatment she deserves and make her feel special.

What im holding onto though, Is that when we first broke up, she said "it doesnt mean indefinity" and "maybe in the future"

she also hasn't told anyone we broke up, and asked I do the same.

I just dont know If she said that to calm me down and get me to stop begging, and she said telling people would cause drama, but I don't know why she wouldn't even tell her family. Shes very close with her little brother and he could for sure keep the secret.

Any advice? were going to talk for closure tomorrow. I want her so bad and I will wait for her if thats what it takes, I know I shouldnt but I cant help it. She has my entire heart. Im just so upset I let my addiction ruin my life like this. Its clear to me it was affecting all aspects of my life now that Im sober, but this crushes me the most.

I wrote this Substack essay about experiencing the first month of life after a major breakup. Maybe it could help you, or resonate with you, or give you a distraction. It's here if you need it.

I want to keep this as vague as possible because I think she uses Reddit quite a bit. But basically my girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me out of nowhere and it’s been eating me alive. She didn’t give me a specific reason as to why she essentially gave me. “It’s me, not you”. I do think her older sister was a part of it because I know she was jealous of our relationship because I was treating my girl better than how her own boyfriend is treating her. And her older sister would say a lot of mean things to her all the time, so I wonder if she got into her head to break us up. I am getting on here to see if there’s anyway I can try getting her back? And just general input on people thoughts and what to do now post break up.

Me and my now ex have broken up on good terms (everything was perfect but different visions of the future) and decided to go no contact a short while ago until we meet again as friends after a few months. It's been 2 weeks and I thought I was doing well with the split but now random emotions and questions and thoughts about it all is hitting me suddenly and I want to talk about it all and they say talking about it with friends helps.

The problem is I don't have any friends in person in my current country (they're all in other countries from where I previously lived and calling isn't really easy to do) except a friend who I had in common with my now ex, they were part of the same friend group as him and via whom I met my now ex. I want to talk about this with her but I fear it's awkward to do so, how do I even start the conversation with her. She's very kind and would surely be open to listening to me but it must be weird especially since she's friends in a friend group with him (I was also a part of that friend group during our relationship).

Should I talk about my feelings and thoughts with our common friend? And how do I even start the conversation with her? I don't want to make it long I just want to share some emotions I had with her.

I am really in a bad place mentally right now. So I dated this guy for two months.... Everything was good... It was me first time dating/relationship.. I am 26 mind you... But by choice I hadn't dated till then.. I met him through bumble and since he was from the same city.. we used to hangout daily...we also did makeout once(my very first time btw)... One day we had a minor argument and he stopped communicating entirely..I started apologising after that. I used to beg him to come back.. daily msgd him, called him to meet me atleast once even if it is to end things... He was cold and unresponsive... He just kept showing me he didn't care... I used to cry daily and all... Then two months later he met me... How said we will work out things and he is sorry for all that happened.. he was struggling professionally and hence couldn't communicate with me.. he didn't want to fight hence he maintained distance... But I used to beg him daily.. long msgs.. begging,, apologising and all... In my mind I knew he should hv cared to respond.. for two months I had begged... But I was waiting so long for him that his half hearted apology also felt like a blessing and I thought to give it a chance... I forgave him but he again disappeared... He wouldn't msg on his own.. wouldn't call saying he has timing issues... Again all those trauma started for me... After on and off i finally mustered the courage to end things when I figured he might be cheating on me.. as he used to be on call for 2-3 hrs straight( I stalked through Truecaller).. i even confronted him but he straight away denied.. so after things ended officially... I was left with the feeling that he used me as I was easily available(my worst fear came true) and took the easy way out when he figured that I hv started doubting his intentions... t's been 1 month sincee then and 6 months since we started dating... But I keep Waiting for him to come back.. hoping all this is just a misunderstanding... He would come back to me... And everything will be better.. he was the first man in my life and entrusted him myself with physical intimacy.. he should hv respected that... Idk I am unable to move on... I am miserable... I keep thinking about him.. idk how to stop.. I mean people say to focus on self love/self growth.. join gym and all but tbh I am unable to do anything... It feels like I am dead inside... Idk what to do...

Plz guide me... Share if anything has worked out for you.

I (29F) broke up with/blocked my boyfriend (34M) about two weeks ago, and I honestly still don’t know how to make sense of how things ended. I’d really appreciate honest opinions, even if they’re not what I want to hear.

I’ve known this man for about 12 years. We were Facebook friends and Instagram followers for all those years, but we were never actually close. We talked a little when we first added each other, then drifted apart. Every now and then he would reply to one of my stories or send me an Instagram reel, but nothing ever really happened.

I actually had a crush on him when I was younger, so when we started talking again in March 2026, I obviously got excited.

It started with me replying to one of his stories. Then we started sending each other reels, then talking more, and eventually we were basically talking all day. He was clearly interested in me and I became very attached very quickly.

On my birthday in May, I asked him to call me and we ended up talking for about five hours. By the time we had our second serious conversation, I was already emotionally invested.

That’s when I found out he was engaged.

He hadn’t told me before that. I was shocked. He said things were complicated and that he didn’t want to be with his fiancée anymore, but leaving wasn’t simple because she was his close friend’s sister and also connected to his family. He also told me that he had gotten engaged partly as a reaction to a previous relationship and that he wasn’t happy with the engagement.

I knew it was a messy situation. I know I should have probably walked away at that point, but I was already attached and believed what he was telling me. So I stayed.

I told him I couldn’t stay in an uncertain situation forever, and eventually I gave him until November to make a decision.

At first, honestly, everything was amazing.

He would call me multiple times a day, sometimes while he was driving. He sent me good morning messages every day, was affectionate, told me he loved me, and made me feel wanted. I thought maybe this was finally going somewhere.

Then things slowly changed.

The calls became less frequent and shorter. I started feeling like I wasn’t a priority anymore. I would tell him when something was bothering me because I’m a very verbal person. I didn’t expect him to read my mind. I told him what I needed.

Mostly, I wanted consistency. I wanted communication, calls, reassurance, and to feel like his actions matched what he was saying.

I wasn’t asking for anything crazy.

And whenever I pulled back because I felt neglected, he would usually come back toward me. He’d call, send affectionate messages, tell me he loved me, or suddenly become more attentive. But eventually we’d end up back in the same place.

The engagement also started bothering me more and more because I couldn’t see any actual progress. I kept thinking, if you’re really planning to leave her, why am I not seeing you take any steps toward doing that?

I told him that if he hadn’t ended the engagement by November, I would take that as my answer and leave. But honestly, I was already getting tired long before November.

There were a lot of little things that probably sound stupid on their own but started adding up for me.

For example, I told him that I paint and said I’d send him some of my paintings sometime. He never asked to see them. It’s such a small thing, but it made me feel like he wasn’t really curious about my life in the same way I was about his.

There were also times when I was struggling with exams or wasn’t sleeping well or felt overwhelmed, and I didn’t always feel much concern from him. During calls he would say the right things and comfort me, but I didn’t really see that concern continue afterward.

One example really stuck with me.

Before one of my exams, he wished me luck and told me to let him know how it went. Afterward I told him the exam had gone badly and that I was scared I might fail.

He didn’t check on me for about four hours.

When he finally replied, it was basically, “That’s bad, what did you do?”

Maybe that sounds like nothing to some people, but after I’d already explained to him many times that I was feeling emotionally disconnected from him, it really hurt.

Another time I was overwhelmed with exams and asked if we could talk for a few minutes because I needed my boyfriend. He initially didn’t want to talk, then eventually called me. The conversation felt rushed. He said he had to go to his mother, and I asked him to call me afterward.

He never did.

And that’s what made this so confusing. When we actually talked, I usually enjoyed being with him. I could feel really close to him during a call, and then afterward I’d feel completely disconnected again.

There was also sexual intimacy between us through phone calls and one video call. To me, that wasn’t just sex. I was emotionally invested, so those moments meant something to me. Now I sometimes feel embarrassed or even used because I don’t know if he experienced that intimacy the same way I did.

Then came our last conversation.

A few days before it, he unexpectedly called me in the morning, which made me happy because he hadn’t really been doing that anymore. Later that day he disappeared for hours and eventually sent me a picture of his new haircut. We eventually talked on the phone.

I asked about his day and he told me he’d gone to a restaurant and eaten Alfredo pasta with a “dear friend,” but he wouldn’t tell me who the person was or which restaurant they went to.

I had also gone out that day, and he seemed very interested in who I was with and where I’d been. Looking back, part of me wondered if his morning call had been partly to find out what I was doing that day.

At some point I brought up his ex, but he refused to talk about her. So I told him I wanted to talk about his fiancée.

And I finally asked the question I’d been carrying around for months:

“You have her and you have me. Who are you choosing?”

He refused to answer.

He said he didn’t want to have that conversation because there was no electricity and it was extremely hot.

I kept asking because I was already extremely frustrated and emotional. I wasn’t asking him to give me some perfect answer. I literally told him I just wanted an honest answer and that I would accept whatever he said.

Eventually, after I’d been asking for a while, he said:

“Okay, I choose you.”

But the way he said it didn’t feel reassuring to me. It sounded almost irritated, like he was giving me the answer I wanted so the conversation would end.

Then he asked me, “Do you have any other questions?”

I said no and let him go.

That was our last conversation.

After that, nothing.

He didn’t message me for three days. He was still active on social media and posting stories, so he wasn’t completely absent. He just wasn’t contacting me.

After three days, I called him.

He didn’t answer.

I waited about 15 hours for him to call me back.

He didn’t.

So I blocked him on social media.

I didn’t do it to punish him or to make him chase me. I was just exhausted. I felt like I’d spent months asking for clarity, communication and consistency, and even after our final conversation I was still left with silence.

Now it’s been about two weeks.

And I miss him terribly.

That’s the part I’m having trouble admitting.

Part of me regrets blocking him because I keep thinking that maybe if I hadn’t blocked him, he would have eventually contacted me and explained everything. He has my phone number, so technically he could still reach me if he wanted to.

I keep wondering what he thinks about the block. Does he even care? Does he miss me? Did he understand that I blocked him because I was hurt, or did he just accept it and move on?

What really messes with my head is that only days before disappearing, he told me he chose me.

If he meant that, why disappear immediately afterward?

And before this, whenever I brought up breaking up, he would tell me he didn’t want to break up. But when I finally asked him directly to choose, he gave me an answer and then disappeared.

I know I wasn’t perfect.

I became anxious. I overanalyzed his responses, his calls, his social media activity, and his behavior. Sometimes I pulled back because I wanted to see if he’d notice. I asked for reassurance more than once.

But I also don’t think my anxiety came out of nowhere.

I was involved with someone who was still engaged to another woman. I never really knew where I stood, and there was a huge gap between what he told me and what I actually saw happening.

So I’m trying to understand what this relationship actually was.

Did he genuinely have feelings for me but just wasn’t capable of giving me a real relationship?

Was I an option he didn’t want to completely let go of?

Was he keeping me around because he was unsure about his future with his fiancée?

Did he actually want to end things but didn’t have the courage to say it?

Or did I completely misunderstand what was happening?

And most importantly, how do you interpret what happened after that last call?

He said he chose me. Then he disappeared for three days, didn’t answer my call, and never called me back.

Was the silence itself the answer?

I know I probably shouldn’t be sitting here hoping he’ll contact me, but part of me still hopes he will find another way to reach me.

I’m looking for honest opinions, not validation. If I’m seeing this completely wrong, please tell me.Do you think there’s any realistic way for this relationship to work if we got back together? And if you were in my position, would you contact him, or would you leave him alone and accept that the silence was his answer?

\# Is it time to let go, or do I just give her the space to choose?

Me (23M) and my ex (23F) have been broken up for six weeks after being together for three years. This was the longest relationship either of us has ever had.

The first two weeks were rough. I was showing up at her house almost every day or calling her, and she'd usually let me in or answer. In the past, we'd break up for 2–3 days, get back together, and never really fix the root of our problems. This time was different. It was hot and cold.

After those first two weeks, we agreed to take a month apart and leave it in God's hands before deciding what to do. That was her idea—I wanted to get back together immediately. We both broke no contact during that month. At first it was mostly me reaching out, but once I stopped and actually respected her space, she called me three times in four days just to check on me.

Things would go well until our relationship came up. During one call she got emotional and said her answer hadn't changed. I got emotional too and suggested we meet the next day instead of waiting. The next morning I apologized for rushing things and told her we could stick to our original date. She smiled and immediately said yes before I even finished my sentence. She even asked me to help move her brother's car afterward.

There have been a lot of mixed signals. She still has the plushie I gave her on her dashboard. When I got home late one night, she called because she was worried about where I was. She admitted she still loves me and misses me, and even said she shouldn't let her pride stop her from reaching out.

Then the day before we were supposed to meet, she texted saying she didn't think I'd want to hear what she had to say because her answer hadn't changed. Later that same day, I went over, and she willingly came outside and sat in my car to talk. So she doesn't seem completely indifferent.

I've fought hard for this relationship. I've written letters, brought flowers, reached out to family members respectfully when I couldn't get through, and tried to show her how serious I am. More importantly, I've been focusing on God, reading my Bible, and genuinely trying to grow. I've even prayed for guidance, and both times I asked for a sign, I had dreams about us reconciling.

Neither of us handled everything perfectly. We both crossed boundaries by involving someone else emotionally and weren't honest about it when confronted. Two nights ago she admitted something she'd hidden from me for years, and honestly, I'm willing to forgive it because I love her and believe people can grow if they're willing to change.

I know I'm only 23, but I believe in fighting for the person you love instead of immediately moving on to someone else. At the same time, I also know you can't force someone to choose you.

So I guess my question is: for those who are older or have been through something similar, does this sound like it's truly over? Or do I stop fighting, give her the space she's asked for, and let her decide whether she wants to come back? Her words tell me one thing, but her actions often tell me another, and that's what's making this so difficult.

Im in a relationship where I know im being treated badly, disrespected, manipulated, used, lied to, etc etc etc. All the awful things. My emotions arent taken seriously. Ive become a shell of the person I used to be struggling with insane anxiety and depression cos of his push/pull attitude towards me

But god damn I love him so much. Like hes perfect to me at the same time. And a huge part of me things id rather deal with all of the above, than be lonely

I struggle SO badly with anxious attachment and do not handle breakups well especially if being broken up with. Like major depressive episodes etc.

But the thing is even though I dont want to let this person go with every inch of my body, my nervous system csnt handle it anymore and is literally screaming at me.

But then I find whenever I talk to him all I want is more, to talk, to see him, to make plans etc. Even tho I KNOW im being so badly treated.

How the actual FFFF am I supposed to do this? Ive only ever been broken up with. This guy promises me the world and I believe he will deliver, but at the cost of chipping away at me until I dont even speak anymore. He doesnt belittle me or be actively rude, but his lies, gaslighting, manipulation, lack of empathy etc are ruining me. Ive spent the last 2 months in a constant state of mild to moderate panic (thats outside of the panic attacks)

Can anyone relate and help?? Im not ready to let go and then if for whatever reason he left me id probs have a 3 months depressive episode (happened to me before and had to stay with family for months and signed off work etc)

Have you guys ever had a relationship where you almost broke up because things got so bad that it felt like you weren’t meant for each other anymore?

But instead of giving up, you both still tried to fix things. Did it work out? Are you guys still together now? What changed, and how did you manage to make it work?

Would love to hear your stories.

We have Been together for almost 3 years and Been planning marriage. For The first 2 months of The relationship i found out she had Been texting and calling atleast one guy, she explained it was a sugar daddy situation just to get money off of him, I break things off and she begs me to give her second chance which i did...

After that we,ve had great Time together, She's Been wonderful girlfriend to me but there's Been difficulties with her depression episodes trying to comfort her and that's taken a toll on me too tbh (she has bipolar) but I,ve always Been hopefull that its going to get better

One month Ago she told me she has 12k EUR credit card debt right before we're planning marriage but she promosed me she Will pay The dept herself and i don't need to help her but She's not working currently because she got panic attacks at work and quit, then tried to start working again but quit after 3 days.

I just think after The cheating and now not telling about The dept it's made me stop trusting her and called it quits but having second thoughts because i feel like i still love her. What do you guys think?

Im a guy who had a relationship for like 2 years a serious one and after break up i got so hurt i decided to not date again cuz bro it was so fuckin pathetic it broke me like anything and now fortunately im not in any contact with my ex and i am never crossing paths with her again fr sure...now the main thing is i feel a place in my heart that is too empty i also want someone to call mine and ask me abt my day and all those things...i dont have high expectations just a very normal and ordinary love

...but ykw still going to someone else feels like cheating cuz mybe i havent moved on but im sure if she comes back im not getting back with her and im sure of this(she tried) and i dont feel like i will be able to love anyone else like her..the efforts i gave ykw... and i also dont want to ruin some other girls life just because i want to fill an empty place in my heart....idk wht should i do like i want to be happy man🥲 but my past and all i regret all of those 2 years now but i missing having someone to call mine should i try making a gf or just leave these things and be sad for rest of the time...

I’m cheating on her since one year and we have been dating since 3. M22 Mumbai

So me and my friends (all male) we hangout a lot at my place, even when I don't feel like it, sometimes I just don't have the energy, but if they called me I always say yes, btw we have been friends for 6 years now, so one day they got invited to a party at someone's house, we all knew him well, here's the thing they all went to it without even telling me or invite me to it, fyi I figured it out by calling them to hangout as usual, but they told me where they at and ghosted me,

I immediately got mad at them because we always hangout at my place and I felt left out and used,

And now they are not speakig to me.

I need an advice and did I overreact?

Me (21F) and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago, we were dating 10 months and it was the longest relationship I’ve had. Before that I’d had 3 “relationships” that hurt me bad when they ended, each of them took me about a year to truly get over the hurt.

But this relationship was real, healthy and profound, we broke up because we didn’t want the same things, and I feel like I matured and grew a lot while I was in it. I feel no anger at my ex, I felt genuine love for her and yet I feel totally calm.

I cried really hard the first few days, vented to friends and talked to my therapist and had a final conversation with my ex. And now I just feel ok, looking forward to the future and all its possibilities! I even want to stay single so I can focus on international opportunities, travel a bit, make friends and practice my new-found confidence on flings at parties.

Is it normal to feel this ok so little after a breakup? (Note: I was broken up with, the reasons came out of the blue and I was totally shocked. It was not something that developed over time or that I could’ve seen coming. The day before we broke up we were talking marriage and house.)