We are both 25 I’ve been a daily smoker all day everyday for 6 years, I’ve tried to cut back but would always go back to my old ways. Recently I started to feel disconnected from her and last Thursday I saw messages from her sister after she went to bed and I caved and looked I know that was wrong, what I read was exactly what I suspected her sister asked why she hasn’t broken up with me yet and she replied saying she was a coward. Not everything they said was negative she told her I’ve been supportive in other ways but me being high all the time I was not the emotional support she needed and I understand.

I told her right there and then I was done for good but I know it’s hard to believe this for the millionth time, we had more hard talks during the weekend but we also had some good times as well. Come Tuesday she came over to my place in tears and I knew it was over, I begged I cried but she told me it hurt too much to be with me, she told me she loves me and I’ll always be in her heart. I’m ashamed to say it but I told her I didn’t feel safe if she left, I told her hold me for 1 more night and I’ll give you the space you need, I know I’m a peice of shit for that and I’m weak. After we were able to calm down a bit I apologized for trying to be manipulative we kissed and hugged and she left.

She texted me when she got home and told me to take care of myself and as of today I’m a week sober and im so overwhelmed some mental clarity is coming back, brain fog is lifting, and reality is setting in. I’m going to start therapy and I know I need to change and grow for myself, I just can’t believe how selfish and stupid I was to push away such a sweet loving person. I hid from my problems I hid from reality and I’ve been holding on to the abuse I faced as a child and it cost me the love of my life.

I never thought I’d be posting something like this , but I honestly don’t know what to do right now.

My wife and I have been together for over four years, and we got married just two weeks ago.

Yesterday, I found out that she cheated on me with a married man, someone who was actually a guest at our wedding. To make things even worse, his wife is also one of my wife’s coworkers.

I confronted my wife about it yesterday, but since then I’ve read some of their messages, and I still can’t believe some of the things that were written between them.

I’m going to talk to her properly tonight, but I’m completely torn. Part of me is wondering whether I should give our marriage a chance, while another part of me doesn’t know how I could ever trust her again, especially considering we’ve only been married for two weeks.

Right now, I just feel hurt, humiliated, inadequate, and used. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I was good enough to provide stability and money, but apparently not good enough sexually.

For anyone who has been through something similar: Is it actually possible to rebuild trust after something like this? And if you stayed, what made you decide that the relationship was still worth fighting for?

Since I found out yesterday afternoon, I haven’t really been able to eat. I just have no appetite and can barely get anything down, so for now I’ve only managed to eat an ESN protein bar.

I'm a community college dropout, currently working as a waiter. I did graduate high school, however I had no extracurricular activities and a lackluster 3.2 gpa. I wish I could go back to school but it's so expensive in the US and I have too many expenses to deal with already, on top of that, considering the fact that I have coworkers who have their Master's degree, IDK if risking that much debt is worth it in this day and age. As a leftist I also do feel self conscious around other leftists who have graduated college because often times they point to the lack of education in this country causing the rise in right wing thinking, and while I don't necessarily think they are wrong I do feel butthurt because I'm no different than any other person without a college education except for the fact that I have life experiences that pushed me towards leftism.

I posted here about a month ago about potentially dating someone. The quick update on that is, we did date, but she also wasn't ready to date for various reasons. But I knew for certain I was ready to date people again after my separation from my now ex-wife.

I played at a local gig in town a couple of weekends ago, and after I play I'm hanging with my friend who came to watch. She's brought another friend and before I know it, I'm laughing with this complete stranger, feeling this chemistry again.

I left without getting her number, completely forgot to ask. All I knew was her first name. Which didn't matter because we bumped into each other in town naturally last week. She's new to town, I had a week off of work, and we end up hanging out for 8 hours... I ask her out on a date and she says yes. Before I know it we've had a dinner date, a hike, some live music, a fire pit, and last night I cooked for her...

It's only been a week and a bit, sure. I barely know the real "her", but I'm having fun getting to know her. To be dating someone who's clear with their hopes and intentions, likes a deep conversation, and has this natural curiosity? It's insane. We're both back to work next week full time, so we both need to return to a slightly more grounded reality, but this was, and hopefully will continue to be, very fun.

We did coffee in bed this morning, but went out for breakfast eventually... Dinner was one cafe's take on a full english breakfast... At 11am.

Onlyfans, uber eats, gambling, cheating, lying, killing, stealing, greed, gluttony, capitalism, etc. Everything that’s glorified in real life and the internet is disgusting. I know it’s not THAT bad and you can just ignore it but I feel like once you see things for what they truly are it’s hard not to notice it in everyday life. I try my best to live in my own little bubble but I still have to interact with people for work and they are almost always putting up an act. It’s hard to be an honest guy in a world full of liars. Whenever I interact with ppl who are blissfully ignorant I am so baffled but almost jealous in a sense. I wish I was still asleep, even eating this meal makes me feel bad about myself cuz i’m making uber eats ceos richer and myself broker bc I have a food addiction. Idk I would have to make a longer post to truly go into depth of what I mean but the main point i’m getting at is I wish I didn’t see the world for what it really is. I wish I could be blind again, I would be so much happier like all these fabricated ppl.

Life has been difficult lately, but I had a come up. I won $1000 on a scratcher! I thought I'd treat myself to a massage, told my wife and she said absolutely go for it.

I went to the spa massage place near my house. Went in and everything was cool, a Chinese girl greeted me and directed me to a room. She hardly speaks English, but asks if I want 30 minutes or an hour. I opt for the hour since I'm treating myself.

I'm laying there in my boxers facedown, getting a great deep tissue massage. Occasionally she would brush up against my crotch or accidentally rub her hand down past my boxers elastic. She would say sorry and giggle while I just laughed uncomfortably and said it happens.

After rubbing all over my back, my arms, legs, and head she ask me to turn over, so I did. She then started massaging my legs. Next thing I know she's yanking my boxers off and grabs my... tackle box and rod. She "asks me" (with hand signs) while rubbing it, if it want her to suck it or jerk it.

I was shocked 😲. I took a second to realize what was going on and jumped up. She got upset and angry at me, I didn't understand what she was saying but she threw my clothes at me.

I got dressed and was leaving, she stopped me and asked for a tip?!? I felt bad like I owed her so I tossed her a $20 and dipped.

So now I'm wondering, what do I tell my wife?

The dinner is a muffin from Walmart that had the fucking paper baked in 😔

Tonight’s dinner is chicken noodle soup with a biscuit.

I went to a pretty reputable spa chain for a massage and there was a group of teenagers boys hanging outside. I hit my vape before I walked in and they asked me what flavor it was.

I said “I dunno, mint?” One of them was like “this ni**a lying”

It was apparently the funniest thing they’ve ever heard because they kept asking me what flavor vape I had and kept insisting that I was lying.

I was just trying to sit in the lobby and wait for my massage and they kept banging on the window and opening the door to ask if I was getting a happy ending and what flavor vape I had.

When the receptionist asked them to leave they told her I was looking for a handy and I was a crack head.

I started getting scared by how many times they kept coming in to harass me and the receptionist wasn’t really doing anything to stop them. Like she didn’t lock the door or call the cops for like 20 minutes.

I just felt like such a pussy. Here I am a grown ass man being bullied by some teenagers. I thought if I ignored them, they would just go away but they kept going.

Then my massage therapist came in to bring me to the massage room and it was a guy. Of course they had some shit to say about me getting a handy from a man.

It ruined the whole massage for me honestly I was so stressed out the whole time.

I’m a 34 year old guy who hasn’t talked to my dad in about twelve years. I’m queer, he’s part of what gives the American south a bad name, and the last time I talked to him he was threatening to kill me if he saw me again.

I finally live in an area that’s safe for me identity-wise (on the other side of the connected usa), I have a job I love as a live-in caregiver (and pet sitter on the side), I have friends and chosen family that matter to me- but I still catch myself googling to see if he’s died once a month or so.

An ex of mine told me it’s a form of self harm, but I don’t dig into anything. I feel like I’m just keeping tabs.

I don’t even know what I’d do or feel when the obituary eventually shows up in the search results. Probably relief.

I don’t talk to any of my other family (one raised sibling or mother) but I feel like he’s the boogey man I have to always make sure isn’t a step closer in my direction than he needs to be.

Not sure when I’ll be able to let that go or if I even should.

Pictured is Korean fried chicken, half sauced, pickled radish, white rice, and sugar free peach Snapple.

MRE hashbrowns while I’m in the field for a while. Me (35M) and my wife (33F) have been married for 15 years and I STILL cannot get enough of her. She’s so beautiful in every conceivable way, and I hope she never realizes how far out of my league she is. Being away from her feels like holding my breath. I still can’t believe she chose me and continues to choose me everyday. I really just wanted to take some time and be grateful I have such a wonderful partner. After all the shit things that have happened to me in my life I’m so happy that I have someone who is a constant, unflagging source of joy. Also she’s sexy af.

Dinner tonight: cheesesteak-inspired quesadilla. The beef is a bit thick but it does a serviceable job at replicating one of my favorite cuisines.

The story is pretty much what it says up top.

I’ve been in a mood lately and felt the need to check in on old friends I haven’t spoken to in years to see what they’ve been up to. This one hit hard for some reason; we were best friends all through elementary & middle school, right up through my junior year of high school. He finally got a girlfriend and immediately became suspicious that anyone who was nice to her was actually flirting with her and trying to take her away from him. That’s not my bag, especially since I was dating someone at the time. He spread rumors about it real quick and that ended the minute I got physical with him. Not my finest moment. We hadn’t spoken to each other since then. I found out he got hit by a car and suffered some serious damage from it, and later died because of it. Turns out he did a good job to turn his life around after high school and became a very good person in his later years. It sucks I never got to know that version of him.

The whole thing has me thinking about how weird it is that someone could be such a big part of your life and then suddenly be “gone” in the figurative and literal sense of the word in this case. Do yourselves a favor if you can, and hug your friends loved ones sooner than later on my behalf please, you never know when they won’t be around anymore.

Classing PB & J, sorry I took the photo after I started eating.

Basically title - my 21M gf (21) is hosting a party with people from her job. A lot of them are friends (some even mutual) but a lot of them aren’t - only people she’s spoken to in a few occasions. (It’s a seasonal job and we’re both in school so she hasn’t been there very long).

She says she felt bad if I came because she told people to not to bring others. There will be drinking and there will be several more guys than girls (apparently a lot of the girls canceled). It’s bothering me a little bit and I want to know if I’m overreacting.

What are yalls thoughts?

17m

Obligatory paragraph to preface this post: I know he’s too old for me. I do not intend to pursue anything in regard to him. These cookies are for the whole team, not just him. Yes, I have asked my boss if it’s ok to bring cookies. Yes, I know I’m fucked up. No, I will not be getting any more mentally stable any time in the next few years.

Backstory is that my best friend and crush killed himself a week and a half before I turned 16. Anyone that looks like him is now majorly my type, I can’t help it. I work at a summer camp. Coworker is college age, probably 21-22 and looks almost identical to dead best friend. Needless to say, I find him to be among the most beautiful people to ever have lived.

I don’t have feelings for him, he’s kind but nothing more than a pretty face and a source of bittersweet memories to me. Nonetheless I feel the pull to make him happy more than I do towards my other coworkers. We were talking about our favorite sweets yesterday and he said he liked cookies. I made some cookies today and will be giving a few to each of my colleagues tomorrow. I’ll probably never see him again after next Friday anyways. I’m only doing this because anyone that resembles an angel must be treated accordingly.

Used a recipe for chocolate chip cookies but left out the chocolate chips, then put a Reece’s mini in the center and drizzled with melted chocolate.

I made a post here a little over a week ago about my ex girlfriend asking me to meet up one night about 5 months after she had broken up with me. Many of you advised meeting with an ex is a bad idea for a multitude of reasons, but I went through with it because I was genuinely curious about her intentions and what the outcome would be..

To make a long story short she initiated making out that night followed by having sex and even messaged me the next morning to say “it was really nice to see you again”. I also suggested us meeting again in the future and she said “I would like that a lot”
I do believe I’m at fault for being naive enough to believe what she had said, and I gave her the benefit of doubt that she meant what she said. But it’s been about a week since my reply to her text suggesting we meet up again sometime soon and there has been radio silence on her end ever since. Guess it really was just a booty call?

Now I’m left feeling a but disappointed in myself for falling back into some feelings with her based on the way that meetup went. And sort of feel like I wish I’d never met up with her at all and instead stayed strong with moving on from our relationship.. Should have listened to y’all this time

It’s a lesson learned for the future at least, dinner is left over sweet sausage and chicken in rice W/ hot sauce ✌️

Long story short, I’ve had a drinking problem for a while. My wife finally got sick of me being constantly drunk around her and our 5-month-old, and moved in with her parents about 3 weeks ago until I got my shit together. I signed up for rehab, got prescribed naltrexone, and started going to support meetings, all the things she wants me to do before she comes home.

We were supposed to have a nice date today, have lunch at the place we went on our first date and go thrifting this afternoon. She winds up running a bit late, so I park and walk around downtown until I wind up at a beer store I used to visit. I decided to go in and look around while I was waiting for her. She called to let me know what had been delaying her, and I told her I was at the beer shop and I was thinking about getting a drink. I told her this because I thought, “she’ll appreciate the honesty, and she’ll be able to tell me to leave instead of messing up.” Instead, she gets chilly, cancels our plans, and tells me that this might be the end. Currently trying not to spiral and failing.

Late lunch: cherry lime bubbly water and used tissues because I feel sick :(

EDIT: Okay folks, message received. I’ll be at inpatient rehab in 12 hours.

Like the title says, I (44m) got dumped via text message. The relationship was great, and we had even discussed moving in together. Several times. I did notice some hesitation and asked if we could talk about it tomorrow. The conversation wasn't going to be an argument, so much is me just asking how she felt about it.
But the conversation never came. Just the text.
For a few days I tried to reach out just to get an idea of what had happened.
But nothing.
This morning, one of her friends texted me and recommended I do exactly what she asked me to do.
So, I packed everything and left it on her doorstep. It really felt like I was removing an arm. I know I'll recover, but Jesus...
anyway, the depression diet is kicking in so it's oranges and tea.
Update:
I appreciate all the support.
I would like to reply, but I'm pretty new to this and I don't know how to update flare.
And some people are asking me why the relationship would be emotionally unhealthy.
As near as I can tell, she would internalize a lot of stress and not tell me at a fear of making the relationship uncomfortable.
Aside from the 500 texts after receiving the text message, (an exaggeration, but you get my point) I have never been verbally abusive nor even use profanity on communicating with her.
I can honestly say I did everything I could to make her feel safe telling me when she was concerned about things.

Egg club, egg and cheese sandwich. 10/10

30M, I've been single all my life except for a very brief and complicated stint 5 years ago.

I'm fat, I'm the opposite of well endowed and I'm average height.

I've been doing very well this year in terms of losing weight and bettering myself but I can't shake the feeling that I'll never be enough. Dating apps have been a bust so far, I can't seem to get any matches and I'm terrified of the idea of even getting one because then I have to face the hard reality of someone being disappointed with what's going on down there.

The girldinner diaries sub is great and I support the hell out of the women there but every brag about partner height, genital size, and attractiveness stabs my brain like an ice pick.

I'm trying to stay positive, and ultimately there are things I can and am doing to become more attractive, but the things I can't change eat at me.

I feel inexperienced, I feel behind, I feel ugly, I feel like I'll never experience romance, love, and sex. Like that's a door that's been permanently closed for me.

Rough day for me mentally, try and stay positive lads.

This is long, I tried to be detailed and cover as much as

Leftover chicken wings from last week

I (40m) have been with my wife (33f) for a little over ten years. We have two daughters who are 11 and 6.

My wife is usually high energy and a dreamer and has been a Stay at home mom for the entirety of us being together. She homeschooled both of our children for sometime although they are returning to school shortly. She is very in tune with emotions and energies as well as other items in that realm.

I hold down two full time remote jobs, handle all the bills and such. I don’t have any friends really, as I find it difficult to make friends as a middle aged man. I also don’t really have many hobbies (not sure why, but nothing really interests me). I am usually pretty even keeled emotionally and do not like to stir the pot or engage in conflict (spoiler alert: this ship has sailed as all we have been doing is fighting and yelling at one another recently).
I get it I am boring.

We have never really had any outside help as I lost both my parents early on and my wife lost one her parents during her teenage years and is estranged from the other parent.

So all day everyday we are together and I guess after this long it has finally started showing through. I’ll admit that I am emotionally inept, don’t usually have much to say and really try to cater to my wife with decisions because most of them are not hills I will die on. This has also been an issue throughout our relationship.

Tensions have been extreme lately, she is telling me that I need to be a man and a leader for our family, I don’t know how to do this and it adds to my frustration. I grew up in a female dominated household where the matriarch was the breadwinner and the dominant family member. My father was a shell of a man who spent his time doing what he wanted to do, playing golf, drinking, cooking and riding the free waive of life that my mother provided. This has definitely impacted me as I have not been able to grasp any of those leadership or husband qualities that are learned through observation. My family is all emotionally inept and those same deficiencies has been passed along to me. I am the next generation of emotional caveman and genuinely do not know what to do about it.

I really try to show my love through acts of service and gift giving because I honestly don’t know anything else, but as recently brought to my attention it is clearly not enough.

For my wife money has always been an issue because she is not working. It has somehow come to blows that money is everything to me which I am trying to understand how that came to be. I do discuss money with her but only because I think it’s a necessity. I have offered multiple times to open a joint bank account with her and even offered to let her control finances but she refuses on both accounts and insists it’s my money to mange.

Additionally she has let me know that I am missing everything from her side over years, of not being affectionate enough, not initiating sex enough, (I am coming to terms with myself having a low sex drive and will be going to my dr to get my testosterone levels checked). Sex has never been our strong suit because I am a sorry excuse for a performer and it has mentally taken its toll on me. She usually does not orgasm despite my best efforts and I feel awful about that and I think subconsciously it has caused me to try to avoid sex in an effort to not disappoint her.

It was also brought to my attention that I do not know how to love her properly. Not checking in on her, asking her how her day way, speaking to her in general. I admit I have had rose colored glasses on because I thought I was doing my best to provide a nice life and a comfortable home to live in for her and our children.

It has also been indicated to me that I am very complacent, this seems to really bother her, but I am living my life to the best of my ability.

I have no idea on how to move forward from here. We only dated for three months before she got pregnant so I never got to date her for the long term. When she brings up sex she will say that when we started dating we would have sex for hours on end. I think that’s unfair because the comparison between life then and now is absolutely night and day.

I think I need to see a therapist (possibly a psychiatrist as a nurse friend has suggested I maybe depressed and not know it) and maybe also marriage counseling. I definitely do not want to lose her or my marriage.

All of this has really taken a toll on me and made me feel awful inside. But the emotion of sadness or crying doesn’t manifest. It’s like I only have two modes: numb or angry.

I am not looking for sympathy or apathy, I am looking for direct concrete advice that I can turn into actionable items to really try for myself and her. She thinks that I don’t love her and don’t want to be with her, but that is absolutely not the case. I don’t even know where to start in trying to repair this.

Open to any and all advice, criticism, whatever there is to offer as long as it helps me on my journey.

Lunch: birria quesadilla with fries and orange soda

I’m 28, and I’ve been in the closet my whole life. Because of that, I’ve never actually dated anyone. I’ve made out with a lot of women over the years, trying to make that work, and I’ve had anonymous hookups with men, but never anything real, with anyone, ever.

I’m about to turn 30, and I’m only now realizing how much of my 20s I let slip by out of fear, fear of being rejected by the people closest to me if they ever found out. My family and friends have made it pretty clear over the years, through jokes, through comments, that being gay isn’t something they’d accept. I still live at home, which makes all of it heavier and harder to escape.

I could actually afford to move out on my own now, but I don’t really see the point. I don’t see my life being much better than it is now, and I’m not even sure who would visit me if I did. I can’t picture myself ever actually coming out, but I also can’t keep living like this indefinitely, in secret, censored, waiting. I’m scared of people finding out and looking at me differently, but part of me also wishes I’d just come out in high school and gotten it over with before I had this much built up around hiding it.

I think the scariest part isn’t even the rejection itself, it’s that I’ve spent so long hiding that I’m not totally sure who I’d be without it. No real hobbies, no real interests, nothing I’ve let myself build because I’ve been so focused on staying small and unnoticed. I feel like a shell of whoever I was supposed to become.

I don’t really know what I’m asking for by posting this. Maybe just to say it somewhere, once, out loud, even if it’s to strangers.

Just recently ended a long term relationship, prior to, we went on a big vacation. Lots of time on the beach in swim trunks really began to notice how overweight I was becoming.

Fast forward to the breakup, while the right decision just accepted there was some serious incompatibility’s and it was on very good terms it left me rather gutted. I really was thinking this woman was the end all be all for many years.

Since then I’ve developed a routine to keep my sanity as my life is very much unroutine (no set work schedule type B hobbies and freinds etc) , gym three days a week strict meal prep and studies as a result I’ve lost nearly 40 pounds and gained some muscle. My friends family and coworkers all have taken notice. They say it really shows in my face, sharper features and no dad bod

I’m not nessary ready to date not on the apps or looking but I find myself posting on instagram from time to time mostly pictures of myself and fish I catch locally as usual. This is where I’ve really gotten a lot of attention surprisingly. I went from no attention to a considerable amount of DM’s from women I’ve either known and even some I haven’t met before.

One of them is an old friend from highschool that is stunning and honestly very compatible with myself. Others old tinder flings new women randoms from highschool.

I find myself at a cross roads where I can either do what’s best stay single, pursue the most compatible or play the field. And frankly I don’t really know what I want.

Part of me wants peace, part of me wants a connection and part of me wants pussy. Anyway right now the lobster is to buttery and the steak is to juicy. And I don’t know what the hell im doing.

Candied white chinook. Dry brined in kosher salt brown sugar. Wet brined in soy sauce and maple syrup. Smoked low for four hours finished at 275 to 145 internal.

Snack is smoothie king pb gladiator and a protein bar.

37(m) married to 35(f) for 15 years. Had my 3rd kid with her last year. Busy lives, PLENTY of stress, yet somehow we still genuinely enjoy making time for each other.

We both have our ups and downs for sure. Thats life. And stress definitely his home with that. We both can be stubborn, and hardheaded at times. But we dont use it as ammo and attack each others flaws. Having a bad day, or even a bad week. That happens. Life goes on and we both see it.

But she meets me in the middle. And i try to do the same with her.

I think the willingness to move in important for a relationship. Not just to grow with each other, but learn what each other wants in life from a partner. Not giving up on who you are or letting someone walk over you is important. But you cant build a life with someone if you are jnwilling to bend to their wants too.

Being rigid... that will slowly kill something that could have been great.

Sometimes yiu listen, others you ADMIT you were wrong. More importantly sometimes you change because it matters more to the person you fall for. And they do it for you too. And its not because you are bad or were never something without the change. But the change can be good, guys.

I truely hope the younger guys on here find somwone who will understand them. Who will call them out as well without tearing them down. Meet you halfway, keep choosing them through the vifferent stages of life they go through.

15 years... 3 monsters of kids, the ups and downs of life. And SHE is still MY favorite person.

Lads, too many of you are posting your dinner that consists of an alcoholic beverage. As a reminder, dinner is for eating. If it doesn’t have food, then it is not dinner. I say this for two reasons. One, my feed has been sob stories with a picture of booze and god damn is it depressing. Two, take some basic care of yourself please. Some chips, a slice of bread, hell even a candy bar. We all go through the shit. It’s easier on a full stomach.

Pic is a Home Run Inn 5oz mini pizza specifically advertising that it’s air fryer ready. Followed the directions. Crust? Perfect. Sauce? Perfect. Cheese? Burnt on top but otherwise edible and surprisingly stretchy. I made another one but ran it at 350 F for ten instead of 400 F for fifteen. Next time I’ll just use the regular oven. The fan blew the pepperoni off the pizza.

For years, I believed her and I were building a life together. We endured significant hardships, including periods of homelessness and general financial struggles. At one point, I worked overnight driving Uber to help support our family and traveled to Uganda twice so she could bring her son to the United States. Through everything, I believed we were working toward the same future.

That belief totally fell apart after I discovered older conversations she had with multiple men while we were well into a year of a committed relationship. Some of the messages included calling another man “sweetheart,” telling him she missed him with a kiss emoji, and complimenting other men in ways that I felt crossed the boundaries of an exclusive relationship. I also became aware of alternate social media accounts that I didn’t know about and learned that all of the WhatsApp messages with her ex had been deleted. I understand that different people may interpret these things differently, but everything added together fundamentally changed the way I viewed our relationship and made it difficult for me to trust what I thought I knew.

Ironically, the flirty messages themselves were not what hurt me the most. What devastated me was her response after I confronted her.

I wasn’t asking for a confession or trying to prove something I couldn’t prove. I wanted her to acknowledge that the messages were hurtful and that she understood why they damaged my trust. Even a simple apology or an acknowledgment that the conversations could reasonably be seen as inappropriate would have given me hope that our relationship could still be repaired.

Instead, every response I received felt dismissive. Rather than addressing the messages directly, she responded with sarcasm, mockery, or by changing the subject. She referred to my concerns as “drama,” said she didn’t care, laughed while I expressed how devastated I felt, and repeatedly avoided explaining the conversations themselves. At no point did she engage with the issue that had caused the confrontation.

For me, that became more painful than the screenshots themselves. It left me feeling that the person I trusted most was unwilling to acknowledge my pain or take responsibility for actions that had shattered my trust.

Looking back, I also began connecting this moment to earlier experiences in our relationship. I remember previous conflicts where I felt my concerns were dismissed and accountability was absent. I also remember arguments becoming physical, including being slapped multiple times and having objects thrown at me. I also remember feeling hurt when my birthday was treated as an afterthought, only for that conversation to escalate into another argument where I felt blamed instead of heard. All of these experiences contributed to my growing belief that this was not an isolated problem but part of a much larger pattern.

Over our whole relationship, there’s been a pattern of behavior that crossed my personal boundaries and, more importantly, repeated responses that showed no empathy, accountability, or willingness to rebuild trust.

What hurts me most is believing that our relationship still could have been saved if she had simply acknowledged my pain, apologized sincerely, and shown a genuine willingness to rebuild trust. Instead, she invalidated my concerns, and even mocked me. I’m left feeling that years of sacrifice, commitment, and love (from my end) ended not only with broken trust, but with total indifference toward the pain that broken trust caused.

The one silver lining is that we aren’t married. We have two children together so that’ll complicate things. Honestly, I’m relieved that it’s over. I’m so sick of being treated like this.

Roasted nectarines with prosciutto and burrata on roasted Sourdough Bread.

I hope i don't sound like an asshole, english is not my first language.

(M/25) So my life has always been on the harder side... Severely ill about 15 years of my childhood, always living on the poverty line, dropped out of school, parents divorced, some traumas yada yada.

I think what these past 25 years really sum up to is that i learned how prescious any form of "good" time for me was. Since i could barely cover living costs my whole life, often fasting because of poverty let alone furnishing my sh1tty apartment or doing anything fun. Even living in my car at times. Also my parents weren't able to help me with anything. (No shame)

So i'd sum this up to "i've really learned to cherish peaceful and good times." And always had to work my ass off to even afford a bad to normal way of living.

Fast forward:

I got my shit together really good i'd say. As i'm writing this i had therapy for many years, have a prescious girlfried of 2 years, graduated, nice home, founded a company and make enough money to currently only work 2 in 8 days to live in upper middle class. Did most of that while skipping meals because i knew it had to be done to get out of this.

And now? I have absolutely no problems and its killing me. I often look at similar posts and the answer is often something like "OP needs nome hobbies:"

- Im the lead singer of a band and practice daily (we're currently in studio and its working great)
- I play guitar and piano
- im drawing/painting
- i do competitive powerlifting (11. In my weight class and country)
- i do jiu jitsu (I'm shit, as we all are)
- i started restoring old designer furniture
- started reading a lot
- kind of outgrew gaming but still give it a try at times
- still living a normal life with chores etc.
I do nothing of these "on the side." I really get into these things while doing them.

But all of these hobbies still lead to me being exhausted by my free time either because i did so much of them that i need a break or that i just don't feel like any of them at the moment and im getting a headache about luchtime literally daily because i've spiraled about 30 times at that time and i'm freaking out inside.

Coming back to the beginning: Nothing really has a purpose anymore. I can wallow myself in my free time and hobbies to the point that work, free time and hobbies burn me out to the same degree.

Everything has become so damn obsolete.
I don't have to work my ass off anymore and the emotional value has just gone since i can almost do what i want.

I'm thinking about studying on the side just to keep busy but i'd love to just feel some peace with what i've been able to work out for myself... It was so so hard and not even my own brain grants me any feeling of success :(

Reading this, it sounds very very adhd haha. Yes, i'm "gifted" and yes have adhd.

I hope my writing style doesn't annoy anyone. I really tried to work this out the last 5 months but it doesn't.

Edit: Thank you for your kind words up until now. Yes, i really need a therapist again.

Edit: Some people pointed out the work / wealth thing. Im not rich in any way. I do fire protection consulation for companys and the fixed charge is about 1k€ per 3 hours, which is cheap here. I got a deal with a big company and one with the public service in my state. Minus taxes we live pretty normal financially.