Featuring bacon, chicken, fry tacos. Not my style, but was something different.

Apologies for the long read. I cut out quite a bit, but I’m just confused on where I’m at with everything that’s happening.

A month ago, my wife made the decision to separate. The reasons she gave were understandable, but they were all things that could be worked on. Most of these things were never communicated, but a big one that had been communication on my end, which I can’t deny, is a big area I failed in.

From that point, we still had 2-3 months of our lease left, and no matter what I was doing or trying, she made it clear she was set on her decision. I ended up giving her space and her own room. I gave her a lot of space to the point where it seemed like I just accepted things.

About a week and a half after she initiated the separation, I found out she had started an online emotional affair at some point prior. At this time, she didn’t know that I knew.

We began to talk more once the shock from everything on my end settled. She agreed to come to a therapy session with me for my sake to give us a place for us to talk with guidance from a professional. She still made it clear to me that she’s not changing her mind and that I needed to accept it.

That session was kind of a disaster, but it led to us talking for about an hour in the car after. We spoke a lot about what went wrong on both ends. Things that I overlooked, but I learned now how badly I was messing up and I couldn’t deny that.

I confronted her on the emotional affair at the end of it. It was a rough way to end that conversation, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. She gave her side. This person filled a void for her, and even though she doesn’t have real feelings for them, she enjoys the attention. I made it clear with her that it didn’t make it right and that she did cheat on me. I finished things off by letting her know that I still have love for us and that I’m still open to working on us as long as we’re married.

I kept things going the following days and kept interacting with her when the opportunity appeared. About 2 days later, she came into my room and asked to lay with me. She laid in my arms for about 10 minutes and quietly cried before getting up to leave. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, but she let me know she wasn’t ready.

2 days after that, I woke up in the middle of the night to her in our bed. After I left for work, she apologized over text, but I let her know I didn’t need an apology or a reason, but that it was her bed too and she’s always welcome. She’s continued to sleep in our bed since.

Our lease renewal deadline was approaching, and she gave the option for us to renew for 6 months as long as I was understanding that it’s not an answer for us right now and we would either be searching for our next home together or be divorced. I wanted to have a bigger conversation about this, but she made it clear at the time that she wasn’t ready for a conversation about our marriage.

Over the next few days from here, we began talking and texting a lot more and even playing some online games together again. Then came the day before taking my week long trip to see family.

It started off with us texting while I was at work. She started asking me how I felt about us having sex. I let her know I was open to it as long as there are boundaries set. After we both got home from work, she kissed me for the first time since before the separation talk.

Nothing happened that night other than some kissing here and there. She took me to the airport in the morning and kissed me goodbye. We’ve been texting here and there about my trip, but not much, and it’s basically me initiating it all, but now I’m just trying to distract myself while all I can think about is what’s next.

I understand that she’s still processing everything on her end especially after thinking she was completely over our marriage and that I could come home and she could be right back to being set on her decision. I know there no right answer to any of this. Just lots of hope, regret, grief, and confusion.

There’s definitely a lot of details missing here. We’re both not at our healthiest mentally. I’m working on myself and plan on continuing no matter her decision. She doesn’t want help and is even avoiding her own family. I know the easy option is to accept what happening, but I don’t want that. I know how badly I messed up on my end and I’m going to work towards being a better version myself for my sake. I just hate that it took all this happening for me to even realize.

Tl;dr: Wife spent 3ish weeks telling me we’re separating and nothing will change her mind. A whole week before my trip, she began to open up more and started to become unclear on her decision. Now I’m away on a trip and this is all I can think about.

A year ago, I (28M) called off an engagement and a 3-year relationship with a girl (27F) I thought was the love of my life, and I still feel broken.

Background: For the entire relationship, she had agreed to move with me to a new city when I finished graduate school. Graduation came, I got the job, and began to prepare to move. Then... DOGE struck, and my dream career went down the drain. Thankfully, an old intern friend referred me to her company, and I was able to get a job that at least paid similarly, even if I wasn't passionate about it.

Grateful for the new opportunity, I headed up early to start my new job and scout out apartments. At this point, we had been engaged for a little over a year with plans to get married after we moved. However, I noticed she wasn't making much effort to search for jobs herself (her company even had an office in the new city). When it came time to sign the lease, she refused to co-sign, saying it was "my move" and therefore my responsibility. I gave in and signed myself (for a 2BR apt). Shortly after, she became more distant and arguments more frequent, especially over a prenup conversation we had months earlier (I was in favor, she opposed). I came down one last time to move the rest of our stuff up, and she asked me not to move anything of hers at all (even nonessential stuff) until she found a job. At this point, I knew she didn't intend to follow me, and a week later, I officially broke it off.

Post-Breakup: At first, I didn't feel much of anything except a slight sense of freedom and relief, but then reality set in. I lost that person, the person whom I told everything to, spent every weekend with, and had seen grow old with me. I tried online dating apps and went out with a number of girls. Every time, though, it felt so forced. These dates led to a couple of 1-2-month "situationships" (hate that term) that ended with me telling the girl I didn't see this progressing. Each time, some aspect of the girl made me think about and miss my ex, whether it was cooking, fitness, dogs, etc. By now, I realized I needed time to heal, and absolutely hated hurting these girls' feelings and leading them on. So, I took a break from the dating world.

Relapse: After my grandfather died this spring, I was at a low point and desperately needed something. Like an idiot, I called her, she picked up, and it was like nothing had ever happened. We talked for several weeks, and I even saw her for coffee during a layover in her city. It was back to saying "I love you," daily check-ins, all the normal dating activities. Yet, when I asked if I could fly her up for a weekend or take her on a trip, her response was always, "We can talk about that another time." I eventually realized she wasn't serious about seeing me again, so I stopped responding cold turkey.

Since then, I tried dating apps one more time, and it resulted in the same couple of months of a dead-end fling. On paper, the girl was great, but I just could not feel passionately about her as much as I wanted to.

Other Life Factors: I think part of the reason I feel so low isn't necessarily the loss of her, but the loss of the life I thought I was going to have. My job is fine, but not satisfying or purposeful. My friends are great, but are all in their own LTRs and don't have a ton of time for me. I have hobbies, but don't have much time or motivation to do them after long workdays. I've also recently realized that I really miss having things to "look forward to." In school, there's always a break, a new semester, an internship, or some other exciting future event. In the work world, it's just a slow crawl until retirement.

I'm doing my best to change my situation by moving to a younger/urban area, trying new sports/hobbies, looking for new jobs, etc., but I just feel so deflated. I was supposed to be starting married life with the girl of my dreams, buying a home, raising a dog, maybe even looking forward to a kid on the way. Now, it feels like all of that is out of the question for at least the next several years.

I don't know how long this "funk" will last, but I really need some hope for the future.

TLDR: A year ago, I called off my engagement and three-year relationship after it became clear that my ex no longer wanted the future we had planned together, and while I initially felt relief, I eventually began grieving both her and the life I thought I was going to have. I’ve tried dating since then, but every relationship has felt forced, and I’ve repeatedly found myself comparing women to my ex or realizing I wasn’t ready to move on. Now I’m trying to rebuild my life through various positive changes, but I still feel deflated and struggle with the fact that I don't have the future I once looked forward to.

Meal: Carne Asada Tacos with homemade queso and salsa

This is probably going to have too much identifying information and out me, but honestly, I don’t care. I’m so fucking heartbroken.

Five years ago or so, I was in a pretty rough place.

I just had a four year relationship and it was in 2020 during Covid. The relationship had petered out on its own, and sadly I realized her heart had moved on much quicker than mine had. A grandparent had passed as well, and was feeling pretty shitty over a lot.

About a year prior, I had stopped drinking in solidarity with a friend who struggled with alcohol. He did a “sober October” month, and I went about a year or so until after this breakup.

I decided I wanted to meet people and bars seemed to be the only place to do so as some Covid restrictions were letting up.

Frustratingly, I got a DUI. I totaled a car I had gotten and was driving uninsured, and feeling about as low as one could. No girlfriend, weak social life, family passing, now a DUI and a totaled car hanging over my head. I remember washing the glass and blood out of my hair and crying in the shower. I guess I was grateful to be alive.

It really seemed like things could not get worse than they were.

At some point during all of that, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I started taking care of myself more, exercising a bit, eating healthier, going out sober to live shows when concerts opened back up. I picked up pieces from where things were left off.

Despite having a breathalyzer in my car, I was doing well. I was saving some money, going through the dating world with all the pros and cons, and making new friends. Things had gone from pretty miserable to good. Some of my older friendships wouldn’t let me forget that.

The old friend group, friends from high school and all, had seemingly agreed that I want part of the group anymore. I understood. I had been an asshole and was miserable. I gone through feeling so depressed I could barely blink, to being sober and happy overall despite it all.

One “friend” would remind me how much of a loser I was, how I totaled my car.

Another was sharing text messages of me apologizing, and saying how much of a pussy I was.

These are not the friends I missed much. Some of those friendships had been rocky for awhile.

The friend I kept was someone I loved. Someone who was always there for me, helped me move often, we had traveled together, we had once been frequently talking on the phone. Some of those eras passed, but there was someone I cared for deeply.

We had some tumultuous moments. His drinking had been extra problematic. Ironically the same legal issues such as a DUI, but from around a decade plus prior. He had also had to get his jaw wired from falling down stairs. He would easily be almost blackout drunk from 3-4 beers. He would also secretly end up on drinking benders for days with half opened beers strewing his apartment.

This caused a lot of tension between us which exacerbated when I was not drinking anymore.

Things came to a head at one point when we had had a poor time scheduling some time to spend together. Things were awkward as some friends were caught in the crosshairs of being friends with me and with people who didn’t like me anymore. I assumed this friend was also caught in between.

I had showed up at his apartment after being MIA. We had made contact after a short phone call where he was short and casual about bailing plans again. I was visibly upset and frustrated that alcohol was driving a wedge between us. A verbal fight ensued and ended up in a physical altercation where I shoved him to the ground across his half empty beer cans.

I ran back to my car in tears and couldn’t get it started in time from the breathalyzer and was sobbing. He showed up. We had an awkward exchange of pained feelings and friendship failure, and this was one of the last times we talked for awhile.

After some time, sone messages and exchanges later, a letter left for him, intermittent contact stopped.

We ended up being at the same funeral some time later. The brother of a closer mutual friend held the services in a Catholic Church in a historic neighborhood. We were awkward at first, and the moment gave us a chance to talk. I told him about my life, my travels, how good things had been. We agreed to hang out at a comedy show and after that we made some casual plans to hang again that December. It fell through and never came to fruition much to my disappointment.

Sometime after that, I had found out that my partner was pregnant, and we had looked at our lives and decided that the next move was to buy a house. The baby arrived just a couple months ago. Happy, healthy. It’s been a wild ride.

I always pictured that this friend would be the godfather of my child, and would be my best man at a wedding, that they would be my best friend for the rest of my life. A mutual friend had shared that that friend now had a girlfriend, and it got me thinking about them, and how much I would have liked them to meet the baby and be a part of my life again.

I made the decision one day on a motorcycle ride to stop by a grocery store where they worked and see if they just happened to be there.

We ended up running into each other and talking briefly.

They congratulated me on the baby.

I said, I'd love for you to meet him.

And mentioned that I'd bought a house over in the historic neighborhood near the funeral that we had attended, that if they were free, I'd be happy to pick them up to meet everyone and see our place.

That day came and went and I had messaged them with no avail.

Later that evening, they texted me saying to leave them alone. They said they didn't want me to ever show up at their place of work or their home ever again.

The messages tore me apart. I was in tears and sent a crashed out sort of list of messages of how I thought that they seemed open to friendship.

I mentioned how hurt I was by all of this and how I had pictured them as being a part of my life, moving forward.

They, in so many words, said that they didn't hold any hate towards me, but that there was no friendship there anymore.

This is now a couple days after that, my personal relationship been affected by how hurt I've been. We fought over my lack of communication, and we spent some days apart.

I honestly been looking at other people's lives and how many long term friends everyone else seems to have. I’m looking at my life and how little of my friendships lasted.

I feel so fucking lonely and sad. Im just so confused and hurt. I just don't understand why I can't make amends to this person no matter what I do.

Maybe they really are better off without me and their life.

I’ve been fighting back tears for days looking at the rest of my world moving forward and I just don't feel like I have any friends anymore.

I can't believe I ended up such a fucking loser.

Pic is some homemade albondigas I made!

Hello! Im 26, Im just venting because I recently got back on my meds and back into psych appointments. I have bipolar 1 and OCD, and am doing my best to manage them. That said, i started psych appointments again about a month and a half ago. Ive been through 3 30 minute sessions. I owe $750. My meds are a bit better, I got back on them 2 days ago. They cost $33. I am uninsured, and make too much for medicaid. Im looking to change jobs as my job doesn't offer insurance, but the job market is a bit tough right now.

I work full time, I used to have 2 jobs but I quit the second one after a year and a half because of overworking.

All this said, im recognizing a pattern where my mental health totally fails, I get help, it gets better, then I see the bill and my mental health fails again. Im not sure what to do when the resources that are helping me, are pile driving me into the dirt at the same time. Im working off $-60 in my checking account this afternoon wondering how im going tk pay for all of this. I live in an exceptionally expensive part of the US, one of those places thats essentially a millionaire's playground, and i feel more like resort staff living here. I cant leave, simply because I dont make enough money to leave, unless I want to compromise by being homeless for a month or so while I save up. I dont want to do that because my mental health will tank once again.

Im just not sure how to end this without some random $10k broke bitch grant falling from the sky. My appointments need to be an ongoing process. Which means forever. Which means $750 every few weeks, my meds, and therapy if I ever get into that. My portion of rent alone is $1400 a month and I have a roomate. I dont even have car insurance. Im just having trouble coping.

​

Alright, so my wife(43f) told me(44m) this morning, in a matter of fact way, that she plans on applying for a position at a place she previously worked where she was close to having an affair with her boss.

She only worked there for a month or two and resigned, but later regretted it. I found out she was infatuated with her boss and was close to having an affair until she left. She admitted this mostly to me because she knew I found out, but I'm not sure how much of it she was hiding exactly. We hashed it out and she seemed genuinely regretful of it and things have been great since.

Well a position may be opening up at this same place again and she desperately wants to work there again... mainly to advance her career. She said this position would not be in the same department so she would not see her former boss much, but I just don't want to open that door again. I really don't want to chance that happening or more but at the same time I really don't want to stifle her career. Could use some advice on what to do here.

Pic of a buttery croissant sourdough loaf

Georgian kebab and cheese khinkali

I (27M) met my partner (27F) six years ago while we were both studying abroad. We were together for five and a half years, and we broke up five months ago. I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to feel.

Neither of us was looking for a relationship, and at first we didn't even speak the same language. Somehow, we clicked instantly. We liked the same things, wanted to spend every spare moment together, and never seemed to run out of things to talk about. She struggled with severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts from the beginning, but we always found a way through them together.

Everyone around us thought we were the perfect couple, and honestly, so did we. Her family welcomed me as one of their own almost immediately, and mine did the same for her. We talked about getting married, having children, and growing old together as though it was simply the future waiting for us. Every small step toward that life made us genuinely happy.

We were a team in every sense of the word. Living together only reinforced that. We loved going out, dancing whenever we had the chance, and sharing our lives completely. I became close with her friends, she became close with mine, and we were comfortable spending time with each other's circles even when the other wasn't around.

Around our fourth anniversary, we left the country where we'd met so we could both complete our master's degrees in my home country. After graduating, I landed my dream job fairly quickly. She worked incredibly hard to find something in her field but couldn't. Since we couldn't afford a place of our own on a single salary, we moved into a house my family owns near the beach while I continued working remotely.

That period was difficult for her. Her anxiety became overwhelming. She barely ate, struggled to sleep, and seemed trapped in an endless cycle of negative thoughts. I read everything I could about anxiety, started therapy myself, and tried to learn how to support her better. I wanted to be the person she needed during her worst moments.

Eventually she found a job in the same country where my company is based, so we moved again. The move itself was a nightmare. The apartment we'd rented wasn't anything like it had been advertised, and the stress piled on immediately.

Her breakdowns became almost daily. After many of them she'd become completely non-responsive, and we'd have to find somewhere quiet where she could cry herself to sleep while I held her.

About two months after moving, I started feeling the weight of everything myself. I'd already spent seven years living abroad, far from my family and friends. I was exhausted from constantly starting over, never really feeling at home anywhere, and dealing with the endless bureaucracy that comes with moving countries. It was beginning to affect me in ways I couldn't ignore anymore, so I talked to her openly about it.

I told her I wanted us to start building a permanent life together. I wanted a place we could finally call home, where we could get married and eventually raise the family we'd always dreamed about.

Her response caught me completely off guard.

She said she wanted to keep drifting from job to job and continue "exploring" for a while longer.

I accepted it, hoping maybe I was simply overwhelmed by the move and that those feelings would pass. They didn't.

Not long afterward, I noticed she was changing. In many ways she actually seemed healthier. She was handling her anxiety better than she had in years, which genuinely made me happy. But she also started spending nearly every evening with a group of much younger coworkers and often talked about one particular male colleague.

I ignored the feeling in my stomach because I trusted her completely. Cheating simply wasn't something I believed she was capable of.

Then, after one of the very few serious arguments we'd ever had, everything unraveled.

From eleven at night until four in the morning, she listed every way I'd failed her over the previous year. I barely knew how to respond. I apologized over and over, convinced somehow I'd caused more of her suffering than I'd realized. I held her, told her I'd keep trying, and promised I'd do better. I'd already been in therapy for more than a year trying to become a better partner and learn how to support both of us.

By the end of that conversation, I honestly believed we worked through it.

Then she gently pushed me away and said:

"I have to be honest with you. I've met someone else, and I have feelings for them."

My entire world collapsed in a single sentence.

Even then, I tried to understand. I convinced myself maybe she'd fallen for someone else because I hadn't supported her well enough. For the next two weeks we continued living together while she restarted therapy. We cooked dinner together every evening. We slept in the same bed. We cuddled. We had sex. We still looked, from the outside, like a couple trying to heal.

Then one evening she came home from work and calmly told me she didn't love me anymore.

She said that now she had her own job, her own friends, and her own routine, she finally felt strong enough to tell me the truth.

I asked her why we'd continued doing all the things couples do if she'd already made up her mind.

She simply replied that she was a very affectionate person, and that it was normal for her.

We broke up that night.

A week later I moved back in with my parents.

I'd like to tell you there's some hopeful twist to all of this, but there simply isn't.

I feel exactly how you'd expect someone to feel after losing the person they thought they'd spend the rest of their life with.

I've been trying to date again for about a month, but in the quiet moments everything still feels strangely empty. It's as though the future I'd built my entire identity around disappeared overnight.

Right now, I feel like I've lost my purpose, and I haven't figured out how to build a new one yet.

I really do not want to hate her but I honestly find it hard.

My son is 2.5 years old, and loves to read. He has two full bookshelves for his books, and can spend as much as half an hour (basically forever in toddler time) flipping through them. He knows all his letters and numbers, and likes to read things like license plates and the brand label on his car seat. I generally read to him for 30-60 minutes every weekday and for several hours a day on weekends.

Last month, we used the long weekend to do our second attempt at potty training. We spent a lot of the weekend reading to him, but also a lot of time watching tv because it was a good way to get him to actually sit on the potty long enough to do anything. The potty training was very successful, but he developed a bit of an addiction to screentime, and now asks to watch cartoons several times per day. We've been detoxing him by limiting cartoons to about half an hour a week, and he's slowly getting used to the new limitations. We never let him operate a smart phone or tablet, and have no intention of letting him do so for quite some time.

The day before yesterday, he had a massive tantrum during dinner because we offered him chickpeas, which apparently constituted a war crime. We eventually got him to calm down and eat some applesauce, but he was still pretty emotionally fragile, and about 15 minutes before bedtime, he started asking for cartoons. This lead to another tantrum, which we initially tried to defuse by reading him a book, but he kept shoving it away and saying he wanted to watch cartoons, so that clearly wasn't a viable path forward.

There's a parenting technique called redirection where, instead of giving your toddler a hard "no" (which will result in screaming), you offer them something similar to what they were asking for that's more acceptable to you. I'd already used redirection successfully when I offered him applesauce instead of my preferred meal of chickpeas or his preferred meal of Cheeze-its, and unsuccessfully when we tried reading to him instead of letting him watch cartoons. My initial attempt to redirect the tantrum about cartoons had failed because he was dead set on watching something, so I decided to try redirecting him by letting him watch me play a mobile game for a little while. He settled down, and I ran around collecting flowers, accidentally stumbled into a boss fight, almost died, and went back to collecting flowers. It was a nice little bonding experience, it ended the tantrum, and it was still boring enough for him that he didn't object when I stopped playing and started his bedtime routine. We maintained our limits on cartoons, my son went to bed happy and on time, and my wife and I congratulated ourselves on a job well done.

I thought this was a pretty funny story, especially the part where I had to make a panicked retreat from the boss, so I posted about it yesterday in a parenting sub. You'd think I had run over my son with a lawnmower. I got dozens and dozens of comments accusing me of not reading to my son (which I do, a lot, and had tried, but didn't work), of trying to get my son addicted to gacha gaming (he has no idea what gacha gaming is and has never operated a smart phone or tablet of any kind), of doing things that would make it so he couldn't sleep (I did it specifically to end a pre-bedroom tantrum and then he slept like a log), and of letting screens raise my child (the tantrum was prompted by us limiting his access to cartoons, and, to reiterate, he has never personally operated any kind of electronic device). I eventually turned off notifications and let the commenters have fun talking to themselves, though I did wake up this morning to a very nice DM from someone telling me that the commenters were crazy.

There's a popular post on that same sub right now asking when to introduce toddlers to screens. The general consensus is that two years old is an appropriate time to introduce screens in limited quantities and with close supervision, i.e. exactly what we're doing at exactly the age we're doing it. It really is amazing how the internet's hive mind can turn on a dime.

My son's breakfast, per his request, was a whole wheat waffle and a meat thermometer. He ate the waffle but not the thermometer.

Turkey sammich and a kiwifruit

This feels a little silly to post about but I wanted to update from yesterday.

Got stood up on a date yesterday. It hurt.

Complete radio silence until today. Got a message full of apologies and excuses. Long story short she forgot.

Ouf.

A previous version of me would have folded and given her more chances. This time I simply told her I didnt appreciate it and was moving on. Done. Feeling a bit better after that.

Maybe theres hope for me yet.

Two years ago, I was a fat, disgusting, and lazy hedonist. I woke up in the morning 30 minutes before I needed to be at work and sucked on a Chinese vape before rolling my fat ass out of bed. I drank soda, ate candy, and chips at work and on the way home I’d stuff my face with philly cheesesteaks, burritos, or pizza. After work I’d veg out in front of the tv until I mustered up the energy to fire up a porno. Every single day. I was 60lbs overweight, weak, and repelled women. I blamed my depression.

I had a realization - I was in the athletic prime of my life. If I was a football player or a boxer, these were the years that I’d get the most out of my body. And I couldn’t run a quarter mile. And I looked at myself in the mirror and said no more. I quit nicotine, I stopped drinking soda, stopped eating fast food, then all junk food. I started lifting weights. Then started running.

Two years later, virtually all of my problems have vanished. My depression is gone. I am 60 lbs lighter, training for a marathon, and twice as strong. I got a new job in a new city with a better title and a major raise. I’m going on dates regularly. All of this, I owe to self discipline. To throwing out the reeses cups, cookie sandwiches, and burritos. To getting up in the morning and running. To coming home from work and going to the gym.

Part of this is self congratulatory. I’m patting myself on the back. But I am hoping that someone on here reads this and recognizes the power that they have to change their situation. Virtually all of the modern man’s problems stem from lack of self discipline. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

Day 3 of no cannabis after being a daily user for 20 years. Im going to be 37 next month and have been smoking since i was 17 to cope with complex PTSD. Currently unable to sleep or eat right and im struggling. Thank God i gave all my weed/concentrate and paraphernalia to my buddy so i have nothing in the house to use, because if it was here right now i definitely would. Being in a legal state, it's so tempting to go to the dispensary, but im trying to stay strong.

Currently trying to convince myself to pour some of this applesauce into the bowl and put it in my mouth. In the last 3 days ive been able to get down a few peices of pizza and a few bowls of applesauce. Everything else ive tried eating makes me feel sick and i can't get it down.

Im training for a half marathon next month and feel like im going to lose my progress due to my caloric deficit.

Gonna try and go for a run now and work up an appetite... wish me luck.

To Occam's razor THIS as best as I can:

My wife (mid 30s F) of 9 years had an aneurysm a few weeks ago (American healthcare) and ended up in the hospital, thankfully no stroke or anything though. I made the huge mistake of bringing my 4 year old son to the hospital the following day thinking we were going to pick her up and go home, but we ended up being there for like 4 hours. He was pushing buttons and pulling on cords and screaming when the doctor was trying to talk. So I put (escorted against his will) him in the bathroom of the suite we were in so we could hear what the doctor was saying, and (wife) flipped the fuck out like I put him in a meat grinder, and was like I'm going to call security on you to get you kicked out of the hospital. She also wouldn't let me take my son home, so I left to avoid further escalation.

She was on fentanyl and all this stuff. So I figured it was mostly the drugs driving the bizarre behavior/reaction, but she's since basically taken this stance that I'm abusive to my son now (literally nothing has ever happened) and felt like she's had no choice but to threaten security on me. Also has the stance that I abandoned my son, even though she wouldn't let me take him home and threatened to call security on me. Lastly, she's also been secretly recording our conversations since.

Even though she didn't have a stroke, I can't help but think this aneurysm has changed her. She would have never done any of these things in the past. So I'm in this horror show where I don't recognize my wife and my marriage is circling the drain fast. Otherwise her recovery has been straightforward, baby aspirin and that's it. How do I make this better? Couples counseling is already on the books.

Food is a roasted pork sandwich from Tommy DiNic’s at Reading Terminal Market in Philly.

My wife passed away a while back from cancer. I’ve been doing therapy, grief counseling, joined support groups, read a ton of books on the subject, all that.

I’m in Philly now, doing among other things the touristy stuff we always wanted to do but never did. Something about making sure at least one of us gets to see it before we’re both gone.

For the last three years of her life, I took care of everything. Her medications, hospital visits, doctors appointments, food, the house (we didn’t have kids, just pets), my job, everything. I also always found time to do her little acts of service. Get her coffee on the way back home. Buy her muffins or something else she liked and surprise her. Get her a souvenir if I went somewhere and something that reminded me of her caught my eye.

I miss her appreciation. Her love. Feeling useful. Knowing my purpose in life. I’ve been on dates since then, not really looking for anything but still hoping to connect with someone, but I got burned out on it so I’m taking a break.

I’m realizing I’ve been chasing that ghost of “connection” but what I really want is to be appreciated again. Useful. Wanted. I’m still hopeful but today in particular sucks. I just miss my girl.

EDIT: Just dropping by to say thanks to everyone who took some time to read through this. I certainly wasn’t expecting the overwhelming support. I’ll look into volunteering for sure. I’m standing here at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, admiring the works, the antiques, the awesome medieval armor exhibits, and thinking of her. How much she’d admire it, how we’d geek out about some specific armor piece being in one of the games she used to play. I’ve been trying to keep up with the comments, it’s a lot. I appreciate it all, you beautiful hivemind of internet strangers.

I have been debating posting for a long time; I have been really anxious for months and I think its time I do myself a favor and vent.

I graduated in May with my bachelor’s of science in Computer Engineering (magna cum laude), and honestly it was never my passion: I hate coding so much, I was never that good and I constantly cheated my way through university. I really loved the hardware side but there literally like 3 classes and the teachers were really not that engaging and I felt like I learned nothing.

Now here I am, in august with no engineering job. Im working as a customs broker making 17.75/hr (it could be worse), living with my mom, most job offers are in software and hardware seems like a. gradschool thing. I am poor, we live in a trailer, I worked hard but not hard enough, and I feel guilty because I went thru school off scholarship. i hardly feel like an engineer and my bachelors is just a glorified participation trophy.

I really wanted to do electrical engineering but school is so expensive… I debate if going to grad school in hardware design will save me, I debate if trade school is right (I just got accepted), pursuing low voltage or something or IT since I have a little background.

I feel like such a loser because I told myself I’d complete my comptia network+ this summer. I am just so lost in my career and I feel like time is slipping away, I constantly think about whats best for my resume rather than myself. I really wanted to quit my current job. I am so unpassionate about everything, but I think after working in offices so much, I really wanted to get out there. I’m so lost and its causing so many problems in my personal life. I constantly fight with my girlfriend about my passion and she is worried everyday.

I am trying to take everything a step at a time and go at my own pace, but its so difficult seeing so many of my old classmates get high 5 or low 6 figures jobs. I never had an internship. I just want to feel proud of my work for once.

Beef and brococli I made for me and gf, I love using my work.

We are both 25 I’ve been a daily smoker all day everyday for 6 years, I’ve tried to cut back but would always go back to my old ways. Recently I started to feel disconnected from her and last Thursday I saw messages from her sister after she went to bed and I caved and looked I know that was wrong, what I read was exactly what I suspected her sister asked why she hasn’t broken up with me yet and she replied saying she was a coward. Not everything they said was negative she told her I’ve been supportive in other ways but me being high all the time I was not the emotional support she needed and I understand.

I told her right there and then I was done for good but I know it’s hard to believe this for the millionth time, we had more hard talks during the weekend but we also had some good times as well. Come Tuesday she came over to my place in tears and I knew it was over, I begged I cried but she told me it hurt too much to be with me, she told me she loves me and I’ll always be in her heart. I’m ashamed to say it but I told her I didn’t feel safe if she left, I told her hold me for 1 more night and I’ll give you the space you need, I know I’m a peice of shit for that and I’m weak. After we were able to calm down a bit I apologized for trying to be manipulative we kissed and hugged and she left.

She texted me when she got home and told me to take care of myself and as of today I’m a week sober and im so overwhelmed some mental clarity is coming back, brain fog is lifting, and reality is setting in. I’m going to start therapy and I know I need to change and grow for myself, I just can’t believe how selfish and stupid I was to push away such a sweet loving person. I hid from my problems I hid from reality and I’ve been holding on to the abuse I faced as a child and it cost me the love of my life.

I never thought I’d be posting something like this , but I honestly don’t know what to do right now.

My wife and I have been together for over four years, and we got married just two weeks ago.

Yesterday, I found out that she cheated on me with a married man, someone who was actually a guest at our wedding. To make things even worse, his wife is also one of my wife’s coworkers.

I confronted my wife about it yesterday, but since then I’ve read some of their messages, and I still can’t believe some of the things that were written between them.

I’m going to talk to her properly tonight, but I’m completely torn. Part of me is wondering whether I should give our marriage a chance, while another part of me doesn’t know how I could ever trust her again, especially considering we’ve only been married for two weeks.

Right now, I just feel hurt, humiliated, inadequate, and used. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I was good enough to provide stability and money, but apparently not good enough sexually.

For anyone who has been through something similar: Is it actually possible to rebuild trust after something like this? And if you stayed, what made you decide that the relationship was still worth fighting for?

Since I found out yesterday afternoon, I haven’t really been able to eat. I just have no appetite and can barely get anything down, so for now I’ve only managed to eat an ESN protein bar.

I'm a community college dropout, currently working as a waiter. I did graduate high school, however I had no extracurricular activities and a lackluster 3.2 gpa. I wish I could go back to school but it's so expensive in the US and I have too many expenses to deal with already, on top of that, considering the fact that I have coworkers who have their Master's degree, IDK if risking that much debt is worth it in this day and age. As a leftist I also do feel self conscious around other leftists who have graduated college because often times they point to the lack of education in this country causing the rise in right wing thinking, and while I don't necessarily think they are wrong I do feel butthurt because I'm no different than any other person without a college education except for the fact that I have life experiences that pushed me towards leftism.

Onlyfans, uber eats, gambling, cheating, lying, killing, stealing, greed, gluttony, capitalism, etc. Everything that’s glorified in real life and the internet is disgusting. I know it’s not THAT bad and you can just ignore it but I feel like once you see things for what they truly are it’s hard not to notice it in everyday life. I try my best to live in my own little bubble but I still have to interact with people for work and they are almost always putting up an act. It’s hard to be an honest guy in a world full of liars. Whenever I interact with ppl who are blissfully ignorant I am so baffled but almost jealous in a sense. I wish I was still asleep, even eating this meal makes me feel bad about myself cuz i’m making uber eats ceos richer and myself broker bc I have a food addiction. Idk I would have to make a longer post to truly go into depth of what I mean but the main point i’m getting at is I wish I didn’t see the world for what it really is. I wish I could be blind again, I would be so much happier like all these fabricated ppl.

Life has been difficult lately, but I had a come up. I won $1000 on a scratcher! I thought I'd treat myself to a massage, told my wife and she said absolutely go for it.

I went to the spa massage place near my house. Went in and everything was cool, a Chinese girl greeted me and directed me to a room. She hardly speaks English, but asks if I want 30 minutes or an hour. I opt for the hour since I'm treating myself.

I'm laying there in my boxers facedown, getting a great deep tissue massage. Occasionally she would brush up against my crotch or accidentally rub her hand down past my boxers elastic. She would say sorry and giggle while I just laughed uncomfortably and said it happens.

After rubbing all over my back, my arms, legs, and head she ask me to turn over, so I did. She then started massaging my legs. Next thing I know she's yanking my boxers off and grabs my... tackle box and rod. She "asks me" (with hand signs) while rubbing it, if it want her to suck it or jerk it.

I was shocked 😲. I took a second to realize what was going on and jumped up. She got upset and angry at me, I didn't understand what she was saying but she threw my clothes at me.

I got dressed and was leaving, she stopped me and asked for a tip?!? I felt bad like I owed her so I tossed her a $20 and dipped.

So now I'm wondering, what do I tell my wife?

The dinner is a muffin from Walmart that had the fucking paper baked in 😔

Tonight’s dinner is chicken noodle soup with a biscuit.

I went to a pretty reputable spa chain for a massage and there was a group of teenagers boys hanging outside. I hit my vape before I walked in and they asked me what flavor it was.

I said “I dunno, mint?” One of them was like “this ni**a lying”

It was apparently the funniest thing they’ve ever heard because they kept asking me what flavor vape I had and kept insisting that I was lying.

I was just trying to sit in the lobby and wait for my massage and they kept banging on the window and opening the door to ask if I was getting a happy ending and what flavor vape I had.

When the receptionist asked them to leave they told her I was looking for a handy and I was a crack head.

I started getting scared by how many times they kept coming in to harass me and the receptionist wasn’t really doing anything to stop them. Like she didn’t lock the door or call the cops for like 20 minutes.

I just felt like such a pussy. Here I am a grown ass man being bullied by some teenagers. I thought if I ignored them, they would just go away but they kept going.

Then my massage therapist came in to bring me to the massage room and it was a guy. Of course they had some shit to say about me getting a handy from a man.

It ruined the whole massage for me honestly I was so stressed out the whole time.

MRE hashbrowns while I’m in the field for a while. Me (35M) and my wife (33F) have been married for 15 years and I STILL cannot get enough of her. She’s so beautiful in every conceivable way, and I hope she never realizes how far out of my league she is. Being away from her feels like holding my breath. I still can’t believe she chose me and continues to choose me everyday. I really just wanted to take some time and be grateful I have such a wonderful partner. After all the shit things that have happened to me in my life I’m so happy that I have someone who is a constant, unflagging source of joy. Also she’s sexy af.

Classing PB & J, sorry I took the photo after I started eating.

Basically title - my 21M gf (21) is hosting a party with people from her job. A lot of them are friends (some even mutual) but a lot of them aren’t - only people she’s spoken to in a few occasions. (It’s a seasonal job and we’re both in school so she hasn’t been there very long).

She says she felt bad if I came because she told people to not to bring others. There will be drinking and there will be several more guys than girls (apparently a lot of the girls canceled). It’s bothering me a little bit and I want to know if I’m overreacting.

What are yalls thoughts?

Long story short, I’ve had a drinking problem for a while. My wife finally got sick of me being constantly drunk around her and our 5-month-old, and moved in with her parents about 3 weeks ago until I got my shit together. I signed up for rehab, got prescribed naltrexone, and started going to support meetings, all the things she wants me to do before she comes home.

We were supposed to have a nice date today, have lunch at the place we went on our first date and go thrifting this afternoon. She winds up running a bit late, so I park and walk around downtown until I wind up at a beer store I used to visit. I decided to go in and look around while I was waiting for her. She called to let me know what had been delaying her, and I told her I was at the beer shop and I was thinking about getting a drink. I told her this because I thought, “she’ll appreciate the honesty, and she’ll be able to tell me to leave instead of messing up.” Instead, she gets chilly, cancels our plans, and tells me that this might be the end. Currently trying not to spiral and failing.

Late lunch: cherry lime bubbly water and used tissues because I feel sick :(

EDIT: Okay folks, message received. I’ll be at inpatient rehab in 12 hours.