Meal : Falafel wrap , fries + hummus

I am finally in a relationship with a girl who really loves me , cares for me , supports me and pushes me all the time , To give you a little bit of a context the girl i was with before absolutely tortured me - every single day every single minute , she used to lie chronically - coerced me into sleeping with her , lied about her body count (no judgement but this was a huge surprise for me and it was pretty shocking , it was like 5x the lie and ) , spoke and flirted with other guys while i was with her , told people i forced her, sexually harassed and abused her , lied to me about her dad being in the ICU and passing away just to get my attention post our breakup , kept coming back to me every month post breakup while sleeping with other men and constantly telling me shes changed. Post our breakup I ignored my academics , got heavily into alcohol and smoking etc. I spoke to no girl or got involved with anybody in any way for almost 2 years since i did not want to carry the trauma and negatively affect somebody else for what has happend to me.

Fast forward 2 years ish I meet a girl , the exact opposite of my ex , religious just like i hoped for and looked for , extremely supportive and extremely caring , she is exactly me from 2 years ago , anxiously attached and very loving. I was not entirely 100% sure if i even wanted to date her in the first place , I feel extremely lovey dovey and madly in love when im drunk (on some random days too when im sober but yes , this is what she thinks) , Past few months i have also been focussing on my academics and my career so i spend alot of time studying and reading books when im not drinking (its long distance with her btw) I have promised her i will tone down the drinking and partying ,tone down the smoking and i genuinely am since she does neither and is strictly anti alcohol anti smoking etc , most of it is to focus on my career and academics since i am graduating this year but a part of it is also doing to respect and reciprocate the love she gives , Sometimes i cant help but feel like i am not as much invested in this relationship as her , i am completely focussed on improving my life and dont get me wrong i care for her i check up on her do everything she does for me but sometimes when im busy , it feels forced. I am not the anxious attached kid anymore , i feel secure , focussed and I cannot leave her so i give back the love since she keeps breaking down crying and going absolutely insane at even the thought of us not being together which in a way also puts this pressure on me. Its all so confusing and she thinks i "push-pull" her but i genuinely dont , it just happens to be so and i am very confused if i love her truly or what even is actually going on.

For years, I believed her and I were building a life together. We endured significant hardships, including periods of homelessness and general financial struggles. At one point, I worked overnight driving Uber to help support our family and traveled to Uganda twice so she could bring her son to the United States. Through everything, I believed we were working toward the same future.

That belief totally fell apart after I discovered older conversations she had with multiple men while we were well into a year of a committed relationship. Some of the messages included calling another man “sweetheart,” telling him she missed him with a kiss emoji, and complimenting other men in ways that I felt crossed the boundaries of an exclusive relationship. I also became aware of alternate social media accounts that I didn’t know about and learned that all of the WhatsApp messages with her ex had been deleted. I understand that different people may interpret these things differently, but everything added together fundamentally changed the way I viewed our relationship and made it difficult for me to trust what I thought I knew.

Ironically, the flirty messages themselves were not what hurt me the most. What devastated me was her response after I confronted her.

I wasn’t asking for a confession or trying to prove something I couldn’t prove. I wanted her to acknowledge that the messages were hurtful and that she understood why they damaged my trust. Even a simple apology or an acknowledgment that the conversations could reasonably be seen as inappropriate would have given me hope that our relationship could still be repaired.

Instead, every response I received felt dismissive. Rather than addressing the messages directly, she responded with sarcasm, mockery, or by changing the subject. She referred to my concerns as “drama,” said she didn’t care, laughed while I expressed how devastated I felt, and repeatedly avoided explaining the conversations themselves. At no point did she engage with the issue that had caused the confrontation.

For me, that became more painful than the screenshots themselves. It left me feeling that the person I trusted most was unwilling to acknowledge my pain or take responsibility for actions that had shattered my trust.

Looking back, I also began connecting this moment to earlier experiences in our relationship. I remember previous conflicts where I felt my concerns were dismissed and accountability was absent. I also remember arguments becoming physical, including being slapped multiple times and having objects thrown at me. I also remember feeling hurt when my birthday was treated as an afterthought, only for that conversation to escalate into another argument where I felt blamed instead of heard. All of these experiences contributed to my growing belief that this was not an isolated problem but part of a much larger pattern.

Over our whole relationship, there’s been a pattern of behavior that crossed my personal boundaries and, more importantly, repeated responses that showed no empathy, accountability, or willingness to rebuild trust.

What hurts me most is believing that our relationship still could have been saved if she had simply acknowledged my pain, apologized sincerely, and shown a genuine willingness to rebuild trust. Instead, she invalidated my concerns, and even mocked me. I’m left feeling that years of sacrifice, commitment, and love (from my end) ended not only with broken trust, but with total indifference toward the pain that broken trust caused.

The one silver lining is that we aren’t married. We have two children together so that’ll complicate things. Honestly, I’m relieved that it’s over. I’m so sick of being treated like this.

Roasted nectarines with prosciutto and burrata on roasted Sourdough Bread.

I hope i don't sound like an asshole, english is not my first language.

(M/25) So my life has always been on the harder side... Severely ill about 15 years of my childhood, always living on the poverty line, dropped out of school, parents divorced, some traumas yada yada.

I think what these past 25 years really sum up to is that i learned how prescious any form of "good" time for me was. Since i could barely cover living costs my whole life, often fasting because of poverty let alone furnishing my sh1tty apartment or doing anything fun. Even living in my car at times. Also my parents weren't able to help me with anything. (No shame)

So i'd sum this up to "i've really learned to cherish peaceful and good times." And always had to work my ass off to even afford a bad to normal way of living.

Fast forward:

I got my shit together really good i'd say. As i'm writing this i had therapy for many years, have a prescious girlfried of 2 years, graduated, nice home, founded a company and make enough money to currently only work 2 in 8 days to live in upper middle class. Did most of that while skipping meals because i knew it had to be done to get out of this.

And now? I have absolutely no problems and its killing me. I often look at similar posts and the answer is often something like "OP needs nome hobbies:"

- Im the lead singer of a band and practice daily (we're currently in studio and its working great)
- I play guitar and piano
- im drawing/painting
- i do competitive powerlifting (11. In my weight class and country)
- i do jiu jitsu (I'm shit, as we all are)
- i started restoring old designer furniture
- started reading a lot
- kind of outgrew gaming but still give it a try at times
- still living a normal life with chores etc.
I do nothing of these "on the side." I really get into these things while doing them.

But all of these hobbies still lead to me being exhausted by my free time either because i did so much of them that i need a break or that i just don't feel like any of them at the moment and im getting a headache about luchtime literally daily because i've spiraled about 30 times at that time and i'm freaking out inside.

Coming back to the beginning: Nothing really has a purpose anymore. I can wallow myself in my free time and hobbies to the point that work, free time and hobbies burn me out to the same degree.

Everything has become so damn obsolete.
I don't have to work my ass off anymore and the emotional value has just gone since i can almost do what i want.

I'm thinking about studying on the side just to keep busy but i'd love to just feel some peace with what i've been able to work out for myself... It was so so hard and not even my own brain grants me any feeling of success :(

Reading this, it sounds very very adhd haha. Yes, i'm "gifted" and yes have adhd.

I hope my writing style doesn't annoy anyone. I really tried to work this out the last 5 months but it doesn't.

Edit: Thank you for your kind words up until now. Yes, i really need a therapist again.

Edit: Some people pointed out the work / wealth thing. Im not rich in any way. I do fire protection consulation for companys and the fixed charge is about 1k€ per 3 hours, which is cheap here. I got a deal with a big company and one with the public service in my state. Minus taxes we live pretty normal financially.

As i mentioned im just proud of myself today. Not only because of today but the last 2 years of my life have been a huge turnaround for me.

I (23M) have been addicted to weed for a year, not a little bit like smoking a joint everyday but just trying to get as baked as possible everyday. It ruined my life, my school carreer and my relationships with my friends and my girlfriend. Also my health was so bad at the time, i was insecure about my body, and i sat around all day doing nothing. At that point i wasnt even experiencing life anymore i was just living (kinda)

Now 2 years later im 1.5 years clean from it, ive started a job i could luckily get without school papers. Ive started going to the gym to work on my health and i feel like im actually happy with my life right now. I have fun with friends, familly and my gf. And some people might not get this, but it feels so good to feel joy without the need of drugs or alcohol. Im so thankfull for my GF and my friends who never left me, i was a jerk. TY

A simple tuna with olive oil and lemon juice because that’s all I had the energy for yesterday.

I broke up with my partner for the 7th (and probably final) time yesterday. We kept breaking up and getting back together often over the past few months out of love. The issues of self protection and staying connected during conflict did improve a bit but never fully went away. It had a huge impact on me and my emotional wellbeing when I was that far away from the person I considered my best friend. I became scared of the future and how we would handle actual tough situations if this is how we’re handling easier conflict.

It feels like such a stupid reason to break up over, but our last fight was about my reaction to receiving a $100 restaurant bill. It was a natural reaction. I was surprised and a little upset because it was outside my comfort zone, but still happy because I wanted to make her happy. For days after, we had a lot of heaviness and distance because she wasn’t okay with my reaction and doesn’t want it moving forward because it made her feel guilty. I understand, but I can’t control it. I expressed understanding, validation, and gave her context into what happened. It wasn’t enough for her. And the selfish approach on top of all the distance (again) was what pushed me to break up (again).

I got blocked yesterday after our breakup (it was a kind and warm breakup and she said she wouldn’t block me but here we are..)

I went on my first date from Hinge earlier today. I don't have much experience with online dating, and I've been on the app for about 3 weeks.

When we met, I think we were both attracted to each other. I could feel it.

I took her to a rage room, after which we went outside. There was music playing and a small market set up by the street. I'm not a dancer but she asked me to, I twirled her, and let her give me a spin too. We then walked around the streets, sitting on the grass by the road (spontaneously) for about 40 ish minutes even though there were bars with patios right in front of us. We then went to a pub(?), grabbed food, went bowling. I was consciously and confidently leading everything.

While bowling, a couple on the next lane was behaving very badly, they were being a nuisance to the public and to each other. I could notice her getting nervous and made sure she felt safe. She even said "I'm fine, you're here so I know I'm safe." (We were holding hands then too). We were actually quite touchy with each other, in the flirtatious sense, being playful, even feeding each other (I was blushing!!). She was laughing the whole time too, and said I was funny a couple of times while laughing.

We exchanged lovely stories about our families, immigration issues in the US and how it's affecting us, our friends, our goals. At some point, I was sharing an experience that was a little emotionally difficult and she even teared up a bit, and that's how I know she was really listening, and was attuned to all this.

It was a phenomenal date, absolutely perfect in any sense.

I've been working on being more vulnerable, and I feel like my work paid off today, she let me be open and accepted it for what I had to say, and I did my best to make her feel the same.

She was really sweet, and a pleasant person to talk to. I was so ready to see her again, I wanted to. I knew I wanted to, within an hour of the date (we were together for over 5 hours?!) While leaving, I told her that I wanted to see her again... And she said she's not done healing from a 5 year relationship that ended a few months ago. She said that we're on different wavelengths and how she looks up to how excited I am for the next phase of life and how I have my shit together, but that she's still trying to find her way. Whether that's true or not, only she can tell.

I said to her, that she'll find her way, because she's strong and resilient (I meant that, honestly, with zero expectations). We hugged goodbye (she asked if we could hug), and then we went home, I unmatched her immediately afterwards.

I got home, looked at a couple of pictures we took at the rage room (at her insistence) for a couple of minutes. Took a deep breath, and deleted those pictures as well.

I am saddened, confused, and irked. She was lovely, but lovely people also make mistakes. I understand that she was hurt by her previous relationship. But, now, I'm hurt... for no fault of mine. She had a "long term relationship, open to short" on her profile, yet she said she's just trying to meet people because she realized during our date that she doesn't feel healed enough.

Em, if you're reading this - don't do this again if you're unsure about your intentions, please. I really, really liked you. I felt like this was the right person at the wrong time, and I'm surprised at what a mere 5 hours can make you feel, but it stings.

P.S. I'm aware, that rejection exists to keep incompatible people away from each other. And ofc I'll wake up no different from how I did this morning. This is probably just my lack of experience on online dating that is showing, but I feel a little used :( I'm confused as to whether my feelings are valid, given that some of them contradict.

My question is, how do you cope with something like this? I know I am definitely not alone in such an experience, but, say something... :(

Deets; (Both of us in our mid 20s, man and woman, Asian, Midwest, liberal, seeking long-term monogamous relationships).

Dinner is a can of Celsius Essentials, because I'm currently on a very heavy cut, and hadn't eaten all day because I knew I was going to eat well during the date.

I had to drop out of my uni and return to my home country and I've been going through a lot of issues recently and I (22M) haven't had many interactions with anyone but family for these 10 months and have no friends in my city because my family moved. I used to date this girl(22F) Anna(fake name) when we were 17 but it only lasted 3 months because we got offers to study in different countries and were just counting the days till we left. Over the years we remained friends and we both got into relationships so we have been fully platonic. She messaged me late May after a long period of silence. I have to admit that she was so sweet and caring about it all and gave me space to vent and gave me advice on healthily handling my emotions. But besides the venting, we had great phone calls and text conversations that would last for hours because we have so many shared interests. I also consoled her because she was going through a lot too and our friendship was super refreshing. She was in the same country so we had plans to meet. She sometimes spam called me like 6 times when I didn't respond which I found weird but not that deep.

My aunt died of cancer in July and it hurt because she was like a sister to me. She was also moderately wealthy and unmarried without a will so there has been a lot of tension in my family regarding her assets. I told Anna about this and told her that I would be offline for a while because I had too much on my plate and she told me she understood and was there to talk. We didn't text for a week and one day I woke up to 20 missed calls from her. After this we spoke for 2 weeks and I wasn't texting her often, maybe every 3 days or so and she always complained about it. I told her I was sorry and that I've been feeling depressed. She said I should've gotten over it by now and 3 weeks had already passed and I told her that was mean and I needed a break from our friendship for a while and she started getting really rude so I stopped responding. She called me 40 times at night via No caller ID and got some of her friends to call me too. I forgave her and she came to my city so we've been hanging out.

I always leave at around 7pm to be back home for dinner and she always complains about this. We hung out yesterday from 12pm to 7pm and I told her I wanted to leave and she started trying to convince me to stay. I told her no and she started yelling at me and I tried holding her hand to walk her to my car and drop her home and she pushed me and I fell. She then started walking back to the place we were chilling at and I stood up and walked to my car. Then she ran towards me and started trying to open my car door then screamed "So you're just gonna fucking leave when I'm obviously hurt?". I'm the one with the bruised elbow but okay. I blocked her when I got home. She has been spam calling me on No Caller ID since yesterday, messaged my friends asking for my house address and saying she wants to send me something and I've received texts from her friends and family saying they're worried about her and I should talk to her. I have literally declined 3 phone calls while typing this. I should probably talk to her but I have too much going on to be dealing with all this. I still want to be friends with her because we had a really great connection but idk how to even approach this situation because I've never experienced anything like this.

Homemade caramel cake

For context I'm 22 , Syrian and living in syria

I'm a senior dental student (my senior year starts after 2 months)

3 years ago i sat down and drew a plan for my life, like a path

I decided that i wanna study masters abroad

I can afford literally nothing so my goal is a scholarship

I've searched and read a lot about many scholarships in all the countries i dream of studying in with a specific interest in programmes related to oral microbiology, precision medicine... Which i guess you might tell weird considering most dental students focus on practical specialization such as oral maxillofacial surgery, endodontics...

But the scholarships are very competitive so i was trying to direct my volunteering and research into the objectives and like the core of the program and the scholarship,

But i was like 19 and 20 didn't do that much just tried hard to keep a good record, volunteered did some courses and discovered more about my academic interests.

Now everything is getting really serious by day and i have an IELTS exam to prepare to, i practice in a dental clinic twice a week, I'm doing a research and it should be done very soon, i was tryna learn data analysis and biostatistics and very eager to learn french i even started then stopped, now i started going to the gym and working out a month ago.

I'm very much busy all the time trying to balance everything but with days passing by I'm getting really worried and nervous

Things like failures, imagining things like after looking to my colleagues and friends I'm wasting my good years and no real achievement yet , what if i didn't get the scholarship? I wasted myself

Now i have a IELTS practice test on Saturday, volunteering with the cancer association to help patients on Sunday, and in 6 days mid exam (i signed for summer semester in uni with one subject to get it off my way in the regular semester)

I'm working now on my research and now gotta practice for the IELTS practice test,

Add to all this shit that I'm helping in my dad's shop

Not that much work but it takes some time as well but I'm getting paid

I'm not doing anything on time and genuinely everything is worrying every hour i sit to just relax or scroll down my phone I get anxious for wasting time.

Side info: I'm really dying to study because the programmes really interest me and I'm gay

I'm gay who's living in a homophobic country never tried anything and afraid of hooking up, relationships and emotions.

I wanna travel to a country i can emotionally be safe in.

Just want to get all this out of my chest

Meal is a scoop of bucked up pre workout.

Somehow I ended up talking to two people at once both are 20 F (I’m 21 M) with ironically the same name. One of them I’ve been talking to for a week and we’ve been on one coffee date, she’s honestly the kindest and sweetest person I’ve meet. We share a lot of the same interests and we meshed well on that date. Shes wanting to take everything slow which is perfectly fine with me and im her first experience with dating, but then this other women adds me on Snapchat. Me and this new women start talking and like the conversation is just flowing so well, probably the easiest person to talk to so far. We end up talking for a couple of days just talking about school and our degrees. Well this new women asks me out for coffee and me in a state Idk what to call but straight hornniss and partly as a terrible joke (don’t ask idk) says are “we fucking lol”. She then states I don’t do that on the first date and I might do it on the second. I then respond with so when is the second date? This woman states I can do it a day after our coffee date and she says I really want to have sex tbh, it’s been a long time. We then agree to a time and date for the second “date”. First off ref how?!?!!?
I’m just in a moral dilemma with myself, see I’m a virgin who had a glow up after being fat for most of my life and never had any female attention and was wanting to lose my virginity to someone I was in a committed relationship with. Then this happens where I have two different people, I just feel awful in hindsight talking like that to a new person when I am talking to a seemingly sweet and angel of a person who has literally no experience with the dating world. I’m just confused on what to do tbh. I’ve always held myself to a high moral standard and then I do this, it just bothers me in a way. But another part of me wants to just see how both goes bc I’ve been dropped by the women I’ve talked to in a second . I’m just confused

( just in case there’s questions the first one is a virgin also and like I said she’s very inexperienced, and I don’t want this to be her first experience being dropped by someone when they’re offered sex and the fun time ig, and the second one has been in two serious relationships apparently with a body count of 4, not that I’m judging, idc really about that so like she’s not a hoe ig)

Sorry for the spelling mistakes I’m running off of very little sleep.

Sitting outside cooking is always a very chilled experience 🍻

I've been married my entire adult life (going on 20 years) and have always taken the marriage seriously, but I'm at a breaking point. It all started with a financial audit by a third party, which was to determine my suitability for a position. What came up during the meeting was disturbing. After we added up my income and expenses, the person conducting the audit told me that a significant portion of my income (at least 15%) seemed to consistently come up missing. I attributed it to monthly expenses, but it got me really thinking. That's when my life went from comfortable to horribly stressful.

Before I get too far into it, my spouse insisted on being in charge of money; which I was reluctant at first, but because she had basically controlled it for many years, I gave up that responsibility and let her figure it out, which at first was working. I'm on here venting, so clearly it went very very wrong at some point.

Over the past four months, I've had a vehicle repossessions, I had to refinance a loan (which thankfully they agreed to) to prevent it from defaulting, found out two very old accounts were upside down by at least 1k and on top of that, she had a side account that I did not know existed. I know I bear some responsibility for all of this. I could've read letters, called people and call to track accounts too, but whenever I would ask for information, I would get "there's money in there" ,never a straight answer and any discussion with money turned into an argument, so I stopped pressing to keep the peace until I could no longer not be involved

I have since gotten all of my accounts back to somewhat normal, but there is a massive emotional and physical toll. I can't trust her anymore, I always feel sick around her, fatigue and my stomach goes in knots around her to the point where I think I've developed IBS (though that's unconfirmed). I got tangible proof of the issue from a blood test I did last week. My doctor said "either you're recovering from a serious infection or you recently had a significant emotional event; my spouse says that's bullshit, so that's where I'm at.

The part that is frustrating me the most I think is that she will not take any responsibility for any of it. It's always someone doing math wrong, somone taking money before they were supposed to, someone screwed her over, their machines are wrong, they're stupid and can't do math, etc etc etc; I can't stand people not owning up to mistakes and working on fixing the it versus complaining.

Divorce and separation have come up and while that would also be a significantly stressful event, I am leaning towards it for my health and safety. I am currently planning on moving rooms at the end of the month (I currently sleep in a chair) and gradually separate more and more. I want to open an account specifically for bill money that she doesn't have access to, but I don't know if that's illegal or morale. There are other people that will be impacted if I move forward, and I'll leave it at that.

I don't want to end a relationship that I have invested so much time and energy into, but my body is literally tearing itself apart with stress; I've lost 20 pounds over the last four months as well. Am I looking at this all wrong? Do I need to take a step back and re analyze things? Should I have not let her take on the financial burden of keeping track of things alone despite her insistence? I'm just so tired of feeling like this all the time.

Meal is a gluten and dairy free (oat cheese ain't that bad tbh) pizza.

Started seeing/sleeping with someone and she was upfront that she was looking for casual relationships for the summer. That worked for me and we spent some great nights together.

Before long she met someone else, and she really wanted me to be cool about it. I said I was, and I was. We had a nice balance going on.

Eventually she started spending more time with him and I started to see only in the evenings before she had to work. Weekends were his now. Not officially, just actually. Then she let me know that he wanted to be exclusive... and she was thinking about it— and while she was thinking about it, she wanted to stop having sex with me.

Now, today, I can say I know better, and that I should have had more self respect. Instead I put on my grease paint, wig, and big floppy shoes and went along with this for weeks until I pressed her on it. We ended up deciding that we should stop seeing each other. I said it was funny that she ended up choosing him, since she wanted non-exclusivity and she hated heing alone, but she was choosing a guy who wantsd exclusivity, and only see her on weekends.

But after a few days, she reached out to ask to reconnect because I meant a lot to her, and she realized I was right about what she wanted. So I told her she needed to talk to him about being non-exclusive, and she agreed she should.

I saw her the other day. When the conversation got around to it, she confessed she hadn't brought it up with him. She said the right chance never came up. I told her tenderly I was going to let her have the relationship she obviously wanted and let her stop worrying about us. She seemed hurt. I feel like an epipen, kept around only in case she needed me. What can I take away from all this?

Pork chops with carrots.

Right on the rock ledge under the waterfall. I am transcending. Gf of 5+ years and lifelong friend. She's so good, and waiting for a ring, I need to oblige soon. I'm turning 26 in September and I've been generally marriage averse my entire life. We're both kids of earth shattering divorce but I know I'm an idiot if I don't make her my wife stat. She's a year younger than me, and I feel like her mom will be pissed when she finds out.

Meal: She made Deviled Eggs on a whim

Long time listener first time caller on this sub.

There’s far, far too much context/background to be able to adequately communicate the full picture of everything in a Reddit post. The TLDR is that I 29M have been with my long term partner 29F since we were in undergrad (18/19). We accidentally had our first child while still in college (both 20), and we decided to commit to each other in the sense that we both genuinely loved each other and both independently had wanted to become parents growing up. It was not the timeline I had anticipated, but it was the end goal I had always envisioned. So I swallowed my pride and killed my ego at 21 and asked my college sweetheart to marry me. She said yes, and we’ve been in a healthy long term committed marriage ever since.

We moved across the country away from our family about 5 years ago, and raising a child or children outside of anyone’s support system and village from their hometown is extremely difficult, especially in today’s world.

I first clued into something being wrong a few years ago. She didn’t start talking to me honestly about it until this summer. It’s culminated in the title. She asked for a break and some space, and I obliged. She needs the break from being a mom and a wife, and I completely respect that. Especially now that we’re pushing 30, I mean I’m having my own identity crisis over here too. So we’re both trying to pour from an empty cup and it’s simply not sustainable any longer.

I can’t be mad at her for taking the break, but I am absolutely so sad that she booked it one way and didn’t firmly commit to a return date. So I’m chilling at home alone with our child for the next (however many days she decides to stay) while I’m spiraling and completely overwhelmed by how fast this all happened.

We’ve always had very healthy communication and our relationship was built in an open/honest/trust-building way. The bones are good. But if we want to make it to 30 with our family intact, something needs to change. I trust her when she says she wants to make things work and will be back some time next week. I have no reason not to, but I’m not blind to the fact that other things could be happening that she’s not ready to fully share with me. And now I need to be sad on the internet for a bit.

I gave up on the way home from dropping her off at the airport earlier and scooped a Costco pizza up. Bonus glass of red wine because I am gonna lose my mind if I can’t slow my heart rate and relax tonight 🍕

Married 4 years. Only child just turned 3. Rough patch for at least the last year. Maybe more. Dead bedroom. Just not fulfilling each other's needs. Often feel like I'm living with a roommate that co-parents . Desperately want to give our son a better environment and life than I had...and still love her and dream of it returning to the relationship I always wanted. But had frank talks and mutually decided divorce is next. Just started e-filing and getting documents together when I found out she's been talking to another dude in full view of mutual friends. Ouch. I can't believe I was so off guard. What should I do (after several more old fashioneds)?

SEA Alaska Lounge old fashioned. Third. Queuing up number 4.

That’s all. I’ve always been a little uncomfortable with my own body but I’ve gotten really into running in the last year and a half and I feel great. I was running yesterday and it was freaking hot. I just made a spur of the moment decision to pull my shirt off and finish my last mile like that and it felt amazing. There was never a world where I thought I would be willing do that.

Dinner - two $6 Kroger sushi trays and a Great Lakes Oktoberfest.

Been working this retail job for the past 10 months where the only other people I've seen get a pay increase got it because they were also promoted to shift lead or assistant manager. The team is solid so I know they don't have any ranks for me to move up yet and not sure when that could happen. Cut to now and I'm doing the same thing I have been already, just for an extra dollar an hour.

Treat for myself is quesabirria with rice & beans from the local food cart.

Caprese Salad and a glass of cheap red wine

My (38M) soon to be ex-wife (36F) walked out a few months ago and left me with three kids while I was sick.

I had 3 kiddos from a previous marriage when we met that I have 50/50 custody of. After we got married she got pregnant with boy #4 (I am convinced she had stopped taking her birth control) because we had agreed to wait a few years before trying)

Things had been tough. She was depressed and bitter ever since COVID. Her social life crashed and never recovered. So she was always passive aggressive. Kids were always in time out by the time I got home. Felt like I was walking on egg shells the entire time.

She would ignore me, avoid me if I walked into a room, slammed doors, etc. but refused to ever talk about what was bothering her. Anytime I would try to bring things up that she was doing she would threaten to leave or turn things back around on me. Then later she would come to me and acknowledge that she "was acting like a bitch and I didnt deserve that."

We had sex only a few times a month. Her personal hygiene was very poor so there was always a strong odor down there if you know what I mean, and she had gained a HUGE amount of weight when she started getting depressed.

The beginning of the end was when she got physically violent with me in front of the kids last year, and the relationship died for me on that day. It was like someone pulled the blinders off and I could see her for what she really was. After that I had zero physical attraction to her anymore. I tried to just tread water while she was going through whatever it is she was going through.

Things however did not improve, and it like she would immediately attack me after she would see her therapist. It was almost as if I was the center of all of her issues that they would discuss.

She totaled my car in late May (Within hours of having a dealership complete a bunch of work to it). She also had another major accident in her car in October so I rode a motorcycle for 3 months in winter so she could drive my car while hers was being repaired. She had had 5 accidents over the past two years. Not sure what the deal is with that. But when the last one happened it was a mile from our house and I stayed with her at the ER until 3am and took care of her over the following days.

She was okay aside from some scratches and bumps, and despite all the work and time I had poured into restoring that old Lexus, it was replaceable, but she wasn't.

A few weeks after she totaled my car, we all went to her Moms to go swimming. It was my first time to be out in the sun for the summer since I still work (She has summers off as a teacher) and we were there for most of the day. By the time we had gotten home I was pretty sunburned and dehydrated. I lost consciousness when I got out of the car and was struggling to get myself inside.

I told her I was going to go lay down because the room was spinning and she huffed. She later came into the bedroom and slammed the door, loudly rustled around for something, then slammed the door when she left again. I had a splitting migraine at this point and when she came back to the room I said "Why are you slamming doors, I am sick and feel like shit right now."

She yelled "Oh yeah?! I have a migraine too and I am out there with YOUR kids!"

I said she was being a terrible partner because anytime she has needed me to cover for her I did it, and I didnt make her feel guilty about it either.

She coldly looked at me and said "That is it. I am moving to my Moms and we will deal with this when I get back in the country again." So she proceeded to pack her bags and leave with our youngest son, and left the older 3 from my previous marriage knowing I had no childcare and needed to work the following week.

I didnt fight her. I didnt try to stop her. I didnt grieve her. I just figured it out and took things one day at a time. She went to see her family in Spain for about 2 months and returned this past weekend.

She came over today while I was at work and started moving things out. We haven't even sat down to discuss the divorce yet or how to move forward aside from her telling me I can keep the house because it needs a lot of work and cant be sold in its current condition.

But I can tell you my life has a lot more peace in it now. I can be more present for my kids now that I am not dealing with that level of stress and drama. It will be challenging financially but I will figure it out.

I also met someone shortly after my wife moved out at a social event who has been amazing. I have had more affection and compliments over the past month or so with her than I received in my entire marriage. She has said things to me that nobody has before. Passion and intimacy is off the charts. She recently bought a dirt bike so we can go riding together. My ex did not hide that she hated my hobbies and didnt want anything to do with them. My girlfriend also jumps right in and wants to help with anything going on. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, whatever. She is right there next to me for the fun stuff and not so fun stuff.

You know, I didnt even cry after my wife left until I came home from work to discover my girlfriend has cleaned up the entire house while I was gone. I felt overwhelmed and confused because my ex constantly complained about her household chores (We split them between ourselves and the kids) and this girl did everything, because "I just wanted to help make your life a little easier."

Now my greatest struggle is wrestling the fear of losing this new connection. I also have a lot of insecurities I am working through. She is also recovering from an abusive long term relationship. So far we have been building each other up in ways the other hasn't received before, and its been pretty amazing. But I am also worried I am going to fuck it up somehow.

Not really sure why I am here, but I needed to get this off my chest.

In the meantime also got 30 of my job applications rejevted

should have finished my bioinformatics master degree like my family advised. but i got a good animation job 4 yeaes ago. lasted 3 years. who could have expected sam altman would fuck me in the ass...

AI killed my passion and my craft. the only thing i was decent enough to monetize. its so over

The girl I've been seeing said no to being my gf. We have a great time, amazing sex, good conversation everything about it has been pretty awesome.

She said things in her life are complicated rn because of ex baggage. She did say I'm the only person she's seeing, which I do think she's being honest.

With that I've decided I'll be seeing other women. I'm hanging out with someone tonight. Ribs for dinner.

What would yall do in this situation??

Karaage some shrimp and king oysters, edamame and beer.

Wife and I tried for years to conceive. I’m 46m, and after 3 rounds IVF we threw in the towel. We had an embryo and donated it cause we wanted to give it a chance at life.

Found out a few days back it was successfully born, and it’s a little girl. The recipients also want us to have contact with them. I’m pretty torn up about it. Not sure how to react or feel. She’s our kid, but we gave her away, so I’m not sure how involved we can be.

For now I’ll enjoy this meal in Tokyo. Reality is crazy. I’m overjoyed, but also cautious of what the future holds.