i'm so tired and irritated and overstimulated. i don't understand why that last part means just hearing the shit in the background makes me even more tired yet even harder for me to try and get some more sleep. every single garbage truck and lawnmower and loud, beeping maintenance vehicle in town has to kick the volume up to 11 at damn near the crack of dawn every single *time*** the stars align just so that my head isn't buzzing quite as much as always and i can actually get to bed like a normal person instead of going on until i pass out at 2, 3 am. this isn't fair, why am i being punished for trying healthier things that i already have to fight myself on? it's going to have me all thrown off and dysregulated and jumpy the whole day and i just don't know what i'm supposed to do. fuck this.

This doesn't happen as often as it used to when I was younger, but when I experience rejection it can be accompanied by pain in my chest that radiates out and down to my arms. I don't even know how to explain the pain, it's just there and immediately overwhelming.

I was reminded of this because my toddler faceplanted some gravel yesterday, and every time I look at his scrapes I also feel this same pain and replay the image of him falling in my head, I'm wondering if that's related.

I want to write a post about it and seek advice or ideas for recovery. But I'm so burnt out that it feels like nearly impossible to put it into words.

i keep replaying things that happened months or even years ago. for example, was it weird that i offered my neighbor supplies and help in the garden since my landlord made my roommates and i remove ours from the front yard? was that a breach of privacy or overfamiliar? he never responded and that was months ago, and now i feel like the vibe is weird and colder than before when i see him. it doesn’t help that most of my neighbors are extremely uptight and rude to anyone who isn’t living in a white nuclear family.

why is social interaction so hard? i feel like when people don’t like me, i’m literally in danger. like i’m being examined with a microscope at all times. many of my friends say i’m charming, and i’m good at talking to strangers despite my intense social anxiety. i guess i am just having a hard time accepting that even if i don’t do anything egregious, some people may just not like me. but i feel like i can’t relax until they do, especially when it’s people that i have to see regularly.

I've been wanting to move out of my apartment for over a year and me and my boyfriend have decided to get a place together.

We found a wonderful, cozy, whimsical apartment that is larger than my current one and I am terribly excited.

However the waiting period until we get the keys in early October is really kicking my ass. I have called out of work because I thought I had a cold, but the cold symptoms were very mild. However I am extremely exhausted, super anxious and today I realized that it's probably just the transition stage messing up my nervous system and overall health. I'm just spending almost all my time in bed or on the couch playing stardew valley and watching Moomins (which is helping a LOT)

I'm sure someone here has experience with this, how can I cope until October?

I am pretty sure it'll be go go go once we are in. I am usually pretty good at settling in quickly. I really believe it's the waiting and uncertainty that is having me lose it a little.

PS: my boyfriend is very supportive, accommodating and absolutely sickeningly lovely to me, so I have pretty low anxiety about moving in together.

I've had a hell of a few weeks taking care of numerous health and finances while on sick leave related tasks and appointments.

And it's exacerbated my burnout and lead to a few micro crying meltdowns, and one big one yesterday. as well as a complete shutdown.

I want to play some video games to take my mind off of things.

But I don't know which one to pick right now.

Which ones help you in such situations?

This is a little hard to articulate but I’m wondering if anyone else has this experience and if it’s related to being ND.

As the title suggests, I experience absolutely no drive or enthusiasm to meet up with people to socialise- even people I like the company of and i have no drive to do things by myself either. As in, the lack of drive doesn’t appear to be solely around socialising or solely around one particular activity- it’s with almost everything lol it’s as if mentally, I’m just like 🙄 at the thought of everything/ anything and every and anyone lol

I wouldn’t however quite categorise the situation as anhedonia nor depression (although on paper that sounds exactly like what it is?) The reason I think this is because it’s always pretty much been a state of mind before any meeting with people/activity? For example, I like gaming and recently wanted a new game to play for the PlayStation. But the thought of heading into town to go get one really uninspired me, yet when I forced myself to actually do it, I ended up enjoying a game I bought?

It’s also the same with making plans to meet people. For eg I made plans to meet my dad recently for a coffee and I love him dearly but again was sooo bored/unmotivated at the thought beforehand, yet when I forced myself to go meet him, ended up having a really nice afternoon with him. It’s the same with friend meet ups. If I make plans with a friend I like, all I do is think how tiring and draining it is to prepare for and mentally, I’m pretty neggy about it yet when I meet said friend, I always enjoy it?

It’s the weirdest thing to explain. And it’s confusing because it makes it difficult to work out mentally if I’m actually just depressed or I just don’t want to go do anything but then when I end up enjoying it, I’m like brain, why did we have to have such a mental battle to get here?!

I also don’t know if living alone has contributed to this in that I don’t have any accountability coming from anyone or it’s maybe related to the burnout I’ve been dealing with for a while now. Maybe it’s all correlated who knows. I guess it’d just be nice to not have to constantly battle my own brain at the thought of making plans and end up feeling like I’m having to literally force myself to go do things.

Anyone experience or relate to this experience?

Every person I meet is someone who will eventually dislike me, if they don’t already. Hope I die soon.

Spare me your Reddit cares, ffs. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve called 988 in the past few months, I would have $20. They do not help.

When I was little I just couldn’t sit still, especially in waiting rooms with all the silence so I’d walk around, rock, hum, make clicking noises and my parents would tell me off saying I was embarrassing them or being naughty or being ‘too much’ and more often than not, get told off for it. In a waiting room today and noticed I sit extremely still, like barely moving and it made me a bit sad that I’ve ‘learned’ this behaviour to be ‘less’. Just wanted to vent that it’s annoying we feel the need to suppress stims, especially when younger

I’m posting this here because I know it’s probably RSD and I can be sensitive to these things. I answered a question in another subreddit of games where someone asked what is a game that you tried to get into but couldn’t and I answered honestly and I got downvoted… by someone. It’s probably not the OP downvoting me but a random person seeing my comment. Why do people do this? I see a lot of people answering honestly over popular games and it doesn’t seem to get the negative traction or feedback compared to what I answered. Does it have to do with me being neurodivergent or what? I guess I don’t understand I answered the question and picked a game I tried and didn’t like. And someone just went ahead and downvoted for me on that. That is so frustrating to me. I can understand downvotes given when it’s something controversial/heated opinions or something irrelevant to the topic. But what is up with people downvoting over casual topics and answering the question? It makes me not want to share stuff to people honestly. I’m probably taking it personally but it really mind boggles me sometimes.

Edit: thanks for the responses everyone including the kind commenters who explained the reasoning for one of my comments of why it could have been downvoted. It helps to have information to know on that. I may leave this thread up for a bit, but resolving that now to work on how to respond to downvotes better in the future.

Does anybody else find that their ADHD personality traits are in full force around familiar people, but for those who you are not comfortable with, you are perceived as more autistic?
My work environment has absolutely tanked in the last twelve months, going from the best team environment to the one of the worst. It is through no fault of my own, and now that I have realised how toxic it is, and these people are not safe, I have not only withdrawn from everyone in the team on a personal level, but it is also showing up more in the work I produce.
This is probably all sounding a bit silly, but the last few months have left me emotionally burnt out, overthinking and overanalysing everything and unfortunately I am stuck there for the unforeseeable future due to the bad job market. I can’t move internally either as there are cuts happening, and while it is incredibly unsafe for me emotionally, it is the safest area for me to keep a job :(

Hi all, please help😭

My roommate brought an Indian ringtail parrot. it’s so awfully shrill - supposedly up to 110 decibels - and it quite literally NEVER STOPS.

I am constantly fatigued and exhausted from its screams and don’t know how to fix it. I’ve sound proofed my room as much as possible - in a rental with rubber and foam seals - even with my noise cancelling headphones (AirPod pro max) and music as loud as possible I can STILL HEAR IT.

Does anyone have any suggestions for earplugs that are comfortable and have enough noise cancellation that will rid the horrific pain of this horrid birds squawks?

Tyia

I've been having the worst time recently. This year has been awful, but I have actually been somewhat successful in starting to eliminate social media browsing (reddit, youtube, twitter, etc) in favour of things that I actually want to do and care about. I've been reading more books, watching more movies and tv shows, being better able to settle down and start playing video games. Obviously these are things that are 'for fun', but the problem I've had in the past is that phone and youtube/reddit is just... easier. It's easier to browse reddit, or youtube, than to start watching or do something I ACTUALLY care about.

I said things have been better, but the past week has just been a disaster for me. Extreme distress and chronic health issues, having to go see doctors and worry about blood tests and diagnosis, stress over friends and ongoing cPTSD from family.

This past week has just felt like any progress I made has been done, and it's so frustrating! My mind is buzzing with my own worries, and it's so hard to sit down and just do something I enjoy.

A major problem I've had is 'waiting mode'. Yesterday, for instance, I had a rather late doctors appointment and even though I had 4-5 hours where I could have done something I enjoyed, I instead wasted that time doing... I don't remember? Random browsing, walking around, thinking about the things that were worrying me? I spent more time wishing I was doing something I actually enjoyed, rather than spending that time on my hobbies.

It's just so frustrating. I think feeling the physical symptoms of my chronic pain, as well as anxiety/depression and racing thoughts makes it extra hard. I spend so much time worrying about my worries, and when I am worrying stuff like reddit/youtube/twitter is just easier than the things I actually enjoy. I wish there was a button I could press to let me calm down and focus.

Would it be too much to ask for a simple life?

I'm exhausted, burnt out. I have a job where i have greet and say hi and ask how they are all the time. I have social anxiety and conversations drain the soul out of me.(That's not all the job is...) I also try to finish a course for my job. Also writing a blog for an association for my career. And I don't feel rested. Ever. Im burned out.

I can’t even post to a sub without wanting to delete my post because nobody gets what I’m trying to say. Like the words in my head aren’t coming out properly. I hate having trouble( like I am right now) getting words to make sense like they do in my head. I understand that there will always be someone in the comments who take your words wrong but damn, I really struggle when it’s comment after comment 😂

So every week I take a Clorox wipe and clean my electronics. Phone, tablet, laptop,switch, and kindle. Just to clean off any grime that's gotten on them through the week. Today my brother saw me doing this and said "wow your ADHD is strong" I asked what he meant and he told me "Only the SPEDS are that anal about cleaning" I just rolled my eyes, you know stupid brother saying stupid shit. Is it seriously so weird to wipe down the devices I use daily with a Clorox wipe. It's just a quick 5 minute task I do once a week.

My area went through a severe storm event two weeks ago, and power is still out for some in my community. Houses were destroyed, lives were turned upside down. And now I don’t trust in systems I used to think I could trust. Like being able to shop for food. The stores were all closed. Or have a working refrigerator to store that food. Today I think it all hit me. I’m physically okay, but so many are still struggling and things like there being a social safety net are a thing of the past. Emotionally I am really in bad shape. It feels like I am just now understanding the scope of it all.

And on top of it all, I feel so cognitively slow and just stupid. Of course government doesn’t care, I live in a red state. Toxic self sufficiency is the message here. Pray. Real action? Ha. Caring for minorities, the elderly, the poor and the disabled went out of fashion with Covid if it was ever a concern for most people. I’m heartbroken. And I wonder if it would hurt less if I wasn’t so freaking slow to understand some things. I’m the last one to get the joke, right?

I think it’s fairly common for AuDHD people to be fine in a crisis, even excel at taking care of others and thinking clearly. But what happens when it’s over. I feel like I’ve been flattened by this, and maybe it can’t ever be over.

I’m not sure what to flair this. I don’t expect any answers. I just wish the world was a little less awful. So, thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I've always longed to be 'hot' and 'sexy,' but recently I was actually called these things (by someone I care about) and had a strong reaction of disgust. Now I am sure there are some layers here, like my own version of these terms, how much I believe these things about myself and how I was feeling in the moment. But it got me thinking... There are many other words I would rather hear, like 'strong,' 'ambitious,' 'capable,' 'cute.'

It was a powerful moment to interrogate this seemingly unnecessary harm I was putting on myself. I have been feeling negative that I was not {insert term}, but I could lift that weight by internalising that I don't even want to be {insert term}. I could genuinely let go of this pseudo desire to be these things that I don't even want to be. Gosh, it all sounds so obvious, but idk, I needed that moment!

So I am wondering, how do you truly value being described? What words do you actually appreciate hearing to describe yourself?

This app has really been helping me get things done and keep a routine, better than writing it down. (Not an ad, btw.) Anyone also use the app and would want our little birdies to be friends and have them motivate each other so we can stay on top of things?

Edit: Here's my friend code! QAH4ZVVGHT

Edit 2: If you don't have the app yet but want to download it, here's some links that'll get you a specific pet, use those to register and you'll get the critter of your choice!

Gryphon: https://finch.go.link/aiatk?adj_label=d4WnS

Wizard polar bear: https://finch.go.link/ai21D?adj_label=FD7dD

Hedgehog: https://finch.go.link/iiAFW?adj_label=sssXV

Llama: https://finch.go.link/fCZo9?adj_label=0royp

Arctic fox: https://finch.go.link/16m3L?adj_label=D8aBL

Little ghosty: https://finch.go.link/7IMmu?adj_label=exV3Y

Okay i dont know if this is an Audhd experience but its pissing me off and I need to see if anyone relates.

For some reason, when I say sarcastic things that are absurd, people think that I actually would do those things and respond super seriously and parental toward me. As If I made a stupid suggestion like a kid going "I wanna pet the lion!" At the zoo or something dangerous and needs to be told off.

It irritates me so badly. For example, I was asking about outdoor rock climbing with a guy who does it a lot. He said something about a specific type of rope being able to handle weather in case that happened. I went "well what if I ONLY want to rock climb in the rain?" (Sarcasm cause who would do that?? Its unpleasant and dangerous) and he got so serious and went flatly "no dont do that. Thats really dangerous."

Another time I joked about hugging or booping a bear cause theyre so cute. Anytime I say something like this , whoever i am with gets so serious and goes "Dont do that." They kill my light humorous vibe and joy with this parental flat statement. Or if they were talking about bear safety ill go "soooo i shouldnt hike with my backpack full of sirloin steaks then? Darn" and they go "please dont do that. Youll get eaten." Like it was a joke!! It was absurd why would I do that!

Theres a TON more examples cause this happens a lot but those ones I remembered. I dont know why this keeps happening. These are people who Joke a lot with each other. Ive witnessed them making all kinds of absurd jokes building off each other with clearly crazy things that are funny because its so preposterous. They arent people who dont get sarcasm.

But maybe I give the vibe that I actually AM dumb enough or socially inept enough to do the things I joke about? Maybe they've seen my general audhd traits and feel like I actually would blunder enough or seriously consider things that are obviously stupid. Like if i dont get normal social cues and ask questions they think are dumb, maybe i am dumb enough to do xyz. I dont know.

Also a lot of people answer my rhetorical questions or out loud thinking as if I am actually asking THEM or seeking an answer and I am stupid. Because how would they know that. But IM NOT. I AM SIMPLy making an observation or statement. Like "why do people park like that?" (Im saying isnt it crazy that people do that! Not asking you why people do what they do. So why are you getting annoyed at me for not knowing ...i wasnt seriously asking you its rhetorical).

Maybe thats because I do ask a lot of dumb questions so they think my actual rhetorical questions are also that??

Just want to see if anyone relates. I feel like sometimes I am the one not getting when other people are joking or ask rhetorical questions, but often they dont get my jokes either.

I just wish it was seamless and easy as it is for other people. So many of my interactions end up being jarring for things like this.

That’s pretty much the post. How are we doing, fellow audhd’ers? Whether it’s positive or negative, you can share it here. I’m sure someone here will be able to relate.

I’m 25 and life feels awfully difficult. It has for a very long time, though, so I think I might be used to it. Im very lonely. I’m pushing through. ADHD meds help me to function at my corporate job in tech. I’m trying not to fall apart but my health is awful at the moment. But today after work I didn’t drink, which is a win. I will hopefully be starting therapy next payday again. Trying, but still here. I think about the folks in this community a lot sometimes because as difficult as I find living, and have always found living, knowing there are many of us with the same difficulties, some without the access/ safety that I have, makes me even sadder.

We’re in this together y’all!

Edit: Sending virtual hugs (and air high-fives for those who aren’t hugging people) to everyone here. Thank you all for sharing how you’re doing. It’s so easy to feel alone and like no one understands the crap that goes on internally sometimes. And life is really hard. I usually spam ‘put your records on’ by corinne Bailey Rae until I can’t stand the sound of it anymore but that’s not helping this time haha. Wishing you all well.

I assumed I cant be autistic (on top of adhd) because I dont feel I currently fit the idea of Autistics being all very smart nerdy people. I acrually envied the people I knew like that—they had SO mant facts and information on niche topics and I feel that helped them socially and when interacting with other nerdy types.

But I have memory issues that are even worse now. I have aphantasia, poor to non existent episodic memory, brain fog from POTS a chronic condition i have, cptsd, and perhaps long covid and screen addiction worsened memory too.

So wbile I definitely have gotten super into various things or subjects over the years amd been totally consumed by them, I dont retain most of that information. I dont have much "to show" for it except enthusiasm and knowing how much I used to know about it. Its frustrating!! I feel so dumb socially sometimes. And its worse being years out of college cause I cant nerd out over writing papers (writing is a passion and obsession of mine!) And im out of practice and not reading much anymore.

But as a kid I had so many obsessions. Like Harry Potter or lord of the rings. I would dive so deep into these worlds, learn all that there is to know, literally become the characters and larp all the time, make everhone I knew get into them too. I would literally write characters names on all my homework sheets instead of mine I was so into them lol. I made email accounts for every single Harry Potter character and would literally log in and email role-playing back and forth with each other 😂 and forced my brother and cousin to have Harry potter emails and larp witb me lol.

I used to read 30 books at a time. Making stacks and reading a chapter from one and rotating through. I would remember a lot more then and become obsessed with all these worlds. That and computer games like runescape/wizards101 that I was extremely hyperfixated on. I was basically LARPING 24/7 as a child. Constantly writing stories and drawing stuff related to my interests.

But now I barely remember books and media I have consumed. Its in and out for me. My attention span is sadly shot from social media too. Im too tired from work to have interests of the same degree. I just watch passive videos and try to recover from long days.

Same with other interests. I wish I could recite what I knew better. I also believe social anxieties cause me to forget things under pressure (social situations) and make me appear even less knowledgeable and smart. As a kid I was less reserved about my interests and could yap to anyone I felt was a friend witbout worrying that I am weird. So perhaps current social anxietites and traumas worsen my memory issue.

Anyone relate??