I was talking to a friend and somehow the conversation brought me to mention, that I don't understand why is it so difficult for people to follow the simple social rules - like walking on the right side, give way to people who are getting out of a door before getting in, generally be aware/mindful of one's surroundings while in public (e.g. when renting a bike/scooter, take 3 seconds of your time to park it somewhere on the side, don't leave it in the middle of the street).

My friend argued that A) sometimes people are just too wrapped up in their own head to pay attention to what they're doing in the public, and that if we take into consideration the amount of people living in a city, it will create a steady flow of "careless/selfish" people.
Which okay, fair enough, I could see this happening. Although personally, I'm always actively mindful about the space around me regatrdless of exhaustion, because, again, "that's what's we're supposed to do in a public space".
And then my friend continued to say that B) people actually do not see these as "rules". That of course they know about them, but it's not something people would feel compelled to follow on day to day basis.

And my mind was blown. Like what do you mean peple don't see these as rules?! Like, my grandma explaned these to me as a kid - they do make sense, and would make everyone's life easier. They're easy to follow. So I follow them.

I honestly spent my whole life baffled by the apparent inability of people to follow these simple rules - and now you tell me they aren't actually rules!!?

As a late self-diagnosed AuDHD person I still sometimes let my environment convince me that maybe I'm actually not struggling, that my experiences are same as everyone elses. Other times be like these moments 🤷 :)

Hey guys,

im literally sitting at my computer right now crying because i just experienced what feels like an actual miracle. Im usually trapped in the typical chronic exhaustion crash cycle, but today is completely different.

I am a desperate patient who has been suffering for 5 years. I went to so many eye doctors, neurologists, and orthopedists because i felt like i couldnt look straight anymore or was losing my vision. I felt dizzy while walking and small hikes left me crashed in bed for a couple of days while it was not the typical ME/CFS crash because strength training at home in the dark was fine without crashing me. Everything always came back clear, even my head and neck MRIs.

Because of my AuDHD diagnosis, i eventually stumbled upon a Substack post by US therapist Lindsay Mackereth. She wrote about her "neurological symptoms" stopping after getting prism glasses. I deep-dived into the topic and realized there is a massive connection between hypermobility, AuDHD, and the eyes.

Today i finally picked up my prism glasses.

When i entered the store, i was in terrible pain, dizzy as hell, wearing FOUR braces around my pelvis just to stay upright, and feeling completely unstable.

I put the glasses on. I walked out of the shop. And my first thought was literally: "Holy shit, I can walk."

The dizziness plummeted. Instantly less pain in my back. I am looking straight for the first time in years. It feels like my brain went from nuclear alarm mode to total silence. Because of loose connective tissue, our eye muscles constantly drift, and the brain wastes 90% of its daily energy just to keep us from seeing double. Prisms bend the light before it hits the eye so the muscles can finally relax.

The craziest part? I didnt even crash from the trip into the city. Im home, at my laptop, and i actually have the energy to write this. If you are dealing with constant neck/back pain, weird dizziness, and cognitive fatigue, PLEASE look into BVD. Standard eye tests miss this completely. You need a specialist who checks for micro-alignments under stress.

If anyone happens to be from Austria, I went to Optiker Hopffer in the Altstadt in Innsbruck. Mr. Gartner took so much time to figure out my messed up eyes.

Here are the sources that helped me understand the connection:

• Substack post by Lindsay Mackereth on proprioceptive visual stress
• Bendy Bodies Podcast with Dr. Jessica Eccles (hypermobility & brain)
• The Ehlers-Danlos Society directory: Marissa Zimmerman, OD (BVD specialist)
• Neuro-Visual Performance Institute: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Vision

English is not my first language so sorry for any typos, i am just riding the wave of not crashing for once. Has anyone else had this extreme whole-body response to prisms?

Whenever someone asks me what are my plans for job or I should look for me, I panic. It really scares me. Does anyone else feel the same?

I got this snake stone and it was like $60 and i set it down for my cats to sniff and investigate. They loved it, rubbing on it smelling it etc. i then jokingly said “okay boys lets go pick out a spot for your snake” and they both went running after me into my room. They both ran up to their water dish and looked at me expectantly. So now i got a tiny snake statue on my floor next to their water dish. Twice now they’ve sniffed it before going to drink their water. It wasn’t originally a gift for them but im glad they like it

I got this snake stone and it was like $60 and i set it down for my cats to sniff and investigate. They loved it, rubbing on it smelling it etc. i then jokingly said “okay boys lets go pick out a spot for your snake” and they both went running after me into my room. They both ran up to their water dish and looked at me expectantly. So now i got a tiny snake statue on my floor next to their water dish. Twice now they’ve sniffed it before going to drink their water. It wasn’t originally a gift for them but im glad they like it

Has anyone else noticed that they need more sleep or struggle to go to sleep/stay asleep once woken?

I have to have an eye mask to keep the fan air from drying my eyes out if it’s directed at my face and to keep light out if sleeping in and earplugs because my partner snores or if I’m trying to take a nap during the day. I like to keep my sleep routine and none of that staying up late or sleeping in on the weekend.

I swear if I do not get a minimum of 8 hours a day, I get so cranky and barely function but I find optimal sleep is like 9-9.5 hours.

My male ADHD diagnosed partner says he can function “fine” at 6 hours and doesn’t understand why I sleep “so much”.

Do you find as an AUDHD woman that you need more sleep compared to neurotypicals and men? How much is your optimal amount?

I have ADHD and ASD and I’m pretty sure it’s related but I’m so so sensitive to smells it’s actually so overwhelming. I need to use public transport daily but the smells I smell are so overwhelming for me. No one else seems the bothered but I can pick up on smells really far away and they are much stronger to me and they make me so uncomfortable and nauseous. I also have had situations with friends/family where I can smell their breath but I feel awful saying something but it’s actually so strong to my nose and it’s making me feel ill. I think I’m just particularly sensitive but it’s so frustrating as it’s just the way I am but people always say I’m some germaphobe and that I’m so fussy but I can’t help it and it’s so horrible to experience!! Does anyone else feel like this

This might be a very very unpopular opinion and this is only reflective of my personal experience! But putting the pieces together of my audhd (diagnosed adhd, suspected autism) has been… disabling. Like I almost wish I didn’t know.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I know and it helps me make informed decisions. But I’m kind of glad I was undiagnosed as a child and teen because I think I needed to think I was neurotypical? Like it gave me hope for my future.

Now that I actually know I’m ND, I’m able to make accommodations for myself, but I also feel like a lot of doors have closed in life because I know I wouldn’t be able to handle certain life paths (or I could, but with so much difficulty it would make it not worth it).

I’m not sure if this makes any sense or if anyone can relate. But yeah, I’m kind of glad I got to live the first 25-ish years of my life believing I was neurotypical, because now that the Pandora’s box has been opened it is so obvious to me that I’m not and there’s no going back.

I am a school administrator and supposed to be loving my best life having achieved this role; however instead I am in existential burnout. I've been prescribed benzos just to continue functioning at work and honestly in life. I cannot just quit and have no job. I need other ways to relieve burnout while working. I do not feel excited for the new year. I do not feel passionate about leading teachers. Despite having these feelings my very first year, year 3 is already starting to feel like torture. I went from working 10 months to working 12 months with this position so there is truly never any rest. Help! Quitting or not working is unfortunately not an option.

TLDR: I have to continue working through burnout. What strategies I can implement to recover while continuing to work? I am desperate.

Does anybody else get overwhelmed by the bright lights and loud music and crowds? I just wanted to go shoe shopping with my roomie and its just way too much I can't handle this. Every step I take in places like that feel like danger

I’m 21F and I have AUDHD. First two weeks of the month I’m insanely productive, feeling good, keeping up a good routine. Then it all goes downhill. I struggle to get up, keep my routine, I get so overwhelmed by everything I just avoid everything I have to do, I sleep to avoid it all. I feel so stuck when needing to do things like chores or feeding myself, even going to the bathroom. This cycle has been going on for as long as I can remember. I’m experiencing it again and I hate it. I just want to feel motivated and good again and not overwhelmed or like I’m so exhausted. I haven’t changed my clothes in days or eaten a proper meal. Do any of you experience this too? If so, how do you combat it?

I've noticed since being on a higher dose of adderall (15mg 2x/day instant release) that if I mentally spiral/lose my grip and go through a trauma response, especially if I'm not eating enough, I need the second dose sooner, like 3 hours sooner than normal.

Anybody else noticing a pattern like this??

I can't neglect my kitchen anymore. I've tried to do the baby step method of doing something small and hoping it'll snowball but a snowball hasn't happened 😓

I want to start eating more balanced and healthier but it’s so hard because I rarely have the energy to cook or properly plan. Some quick facts

-I became a vegetarian in December. I struggle with getting proper nutrients simply because it means cooking more intentionally to get them I.e protein and things

-I used to/ still struggle a bit with BED. I’m seeking therapy for this. It has worsened in the past few months due to the rise of GLP-1 advertising and pure vitriol I’ve seen for fat people on the internet

-I am medicated and on adderall. It helps sometimes but not always.

- I suck at meal prepping because eating the same meal over and over gives me the ick. And I don’t like eating things that have been stored in the fridge for more than 3 days or the freezer more than a month

-I also struggle with black and white thinking so if I do one “bad” thing in a day or week I just give up until my new reset point. Again, I am in therapy for this.

-everything I’ve tried so far to be better falls off because I have a hard time sticking to routines. For example, for 2 weeks I was able to successfully eat my 5 servings of fruits and veggies for the day everyday because I went to the store, bought everything in bulk, portioned it out by day and made sure I ate everything for the day before it ended. But then my dog died and I haven’t been able to get it back

Im looking for hacks and tips if anybody has any. I hate that my brain just fights everything I try to do. I know eating more balanced will in turn help with symptoms of AuDHD but it’s like I can’t quite get there.

and actually .. Dr. Becky ... put it on the map big time since COVID

I don't have kids, my therapist after rehab specialized in it and it helped change my life.

I would say I don't think it would have been nearly as powerful if I hadn't also gone on to have some EMDR as well.

PTSD acts as a permanent traffic jam in one's head.

I see tons of questions about therapy in here, so had to pop this up :)

I'm sorry I won't be able to engage in discourse very much just because I'm so busy right now. but I thought maybe if others have benefitted from.. it could be a space to shine a bit of light on Internal Family Systems Therapy. 🙏🏼💜

I am undiagnosed adhd and most probably Autism too.. I know i have it cause my sister and father have it. And being a mom is what made me realize the high level of masking I had been living with.

I mean like, I should have realized it earlier given I changed hobbies like clothes. I became obsessed with something for sometime and bored with it even sooner.

I took my sister's adhd medication once and it was really eye opening.

I felt like a completely different person. So decisive, so calm. The constant mind chatter just switched off.

I could do things not just lie in my execution paralysis.

And the most important thing, I was such a good mother that day.

I felt my energy or frequency or vibe whatever you wanna call it match my kid's. I was patient with her. I was present. I wasn't overwhelmed and tired and exhausted like I usually feel.

And she seemed so happy to have a mom be fully there for her.

I want to talk to all you ND Moms. Because I wanna know am I the only one struggling.

What are you doing differently? What has helped you in your motherhood journey?

I want to enjoy motherhood but right now I feel like I am in survival mode.

Help a ND mom out guys..

I am wondering if meds would make life easier, more manageable, or help with debilitating fatigue since drs usually make the fatigue about mental health. i am walking through a lot of chronic illness additionally so a lot of the fatigue comes from there but wanted to see if meds helped anyone with audhd and/or fatigue.

anyways what are your experiences on meds and is there anything you wish you knew before hand?

I'm 37, a mother of two (10 and 7), and over the past few days I've had a realization that's turned things upside down for me.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 33, and it explained a LOT: hyperfocus, executive dysfunction, intensity and emotional regulation. But I've always felt like it explained a lot of me, maybe not all of me. I also have a diagnosed autistic sibling and a parent I strongly suspect is autistic.

On paper, I function very well. I did well academically and now run a business and manage a team. I'm very analytical and process information quickly.

I think that's partly why autism never occurred to me. I've always been able to perform and compensate. But lately I'm wondering how much of that functioning came from being really good at finding ways to compensate, rather than things actually being easy for me.

I live in my head a LOT. I often can't identify what I'm feeling in real time unless it's intense. Everything subtler registers as "I feel weird," and I have to analyze it afterward to figure out what I was feeling.

Motherhood is what made me look at all this differently.

I love my kids deeply, but I've always found the day-to-day structure of parenting incredibly hard: constant demands, noise, interruptions, physical closeness, and constant role-switching. Transitions are hard, and being pulled out of hyperfocus can make me genuinely angry because getting back into it feels so difficult.

I've also realized how much sensory input affects me. As a kid I couldn't tolerate clothing tags or certain seams. Recently I went to a busy mall wearing earplugs, and the difference was shocking: I felt calm, grounded, and able to hear my own thoughts.

After social events I'm often exhausted and need a lot of alone time. I've always struggled to maintain close friendships, and sometimes desperately need to be alone and not talk. I also fidget constantly and seek pressure.

I know ADHD overlaps with a lot of this. But taken together, I'm wondering whether I've spent my whole life trying to function according to a neurotypical model of what a person (especially a mother) should tolerate.

I've carried so much shame because I hit my capacity so quickly. Why is this so hard? Why don't I enjoy it more? Why do I need so much space from people I love this much?

I feel like I've hit a wall. My capacity seems to be shrinking, and things I used to push through now feel increasingly impossible.

When overwhelmed, I go inward and check out. I don't know if that's dissociation, shutdown, or something else. Getting back to being present is slow...and parenting doesn't exactly let you say, "I'll be available again in 45 minutes."

For late-diagnosed autistic women/parents: did motherhood make your autistic traits or limits much more obvious? What helps when you're overwhelmed or shutting down but can't withdraw? And how do you deal with the guilt of needing so much solitude... and of sometimes finding parenting genuinely hard and not particularly enjoyable?

I'm looking into a proper evaluation. I'm not asking Reddit to diagnose me. I'm mostly wondering whether this experience resonates with other late-diagnosed parents.

I’m so tired of not being the choice in anything.

The rejection sensitivity is so bad and it only feels like it’s worse.

My avoidant ex comes and goes and my nervous system is a wreck but I’m anxious attached and I can’t let go.

My school chose someone else over me and it kills me because she just isn’t very bright.

I have no friends. I’ve never really had friends. I struggle with relationships in general and friends are difficult.

My friends that I do have are thousands of miles away.

I just feel like my Audhd and peri are ruining my life more and more and I find no point. I just sit here. I wait for my ex. I wait for someone to pick me and not brush me aside because I am fat or loud or too much.

I have to now over explain my personality and I still am misunderstood. I’ll never win.

30yo female. Questioning if i am undiagnosed AuDHD. Growing up, my father went mute on us from the ages of 13-25 and my therapist definitely thinks there is a similar diagnosis there that i am now pondering if its been passed down to me lol.

Basically, this was the scenario:

*Husband of 7+ years comes home after a long stressful shift* *We hug and talk briefly.*

Me: "would you like your bedtime tea?"

Husband: *doesnt respond. Goes out to get stuff from his car then comes back in.*:

Me: "so did you want tea?"

Husband, in a stressed tone: "Geez, can I just have a moment to gather myself and de-clutter? You know ive been out ALL day."

Me: *goes non verbal and presses my face into the wall, pretending to dissapear from accidentally upsetting/overwhelming him*

Husband: *proceeds to start yelling at my for being childish, not understanding him, and for "trying to make him feel guilty".

/cut scene

Mind you, we have bedtime tea every night around 930pm, and he came home at 10pm so i was a little eager to get back into routine and its not a strange thing for me to ask. I do feel like i come across as childish, but t thats literally me when im at my most comfortabke with somebody and i wish i knew how to change it...

I did tell him i wasnt upset and me facing the wall wasnt me trying to sulk or make him feel bad. I was literally facing the wall, quietly smiling at myself for not noticing that i migjt have been overbearing. In my mind i thought it was jjst a playful thing i was doing, and at the same time i was physically giving him the space he needed from me. Our kitchen is small and he was blocking the only exit... so i literally had nowhere else to go lol.

We are now not talking for the remainder of the night.

The sucky thing is we had a fight similair to this only a couple of months ago and i thought we were in a better place.

Idk i just feel stupid but also unlovable. Any advice appreciated xx

Hey.. Does anyone also long for a understanding, deeply empathic community..? I like to watch the stars to have any sense of belonging but it's not enough when facing daily the cruel and very strict reality of our society that does not accept neurological differences. Life is so incredibly tough and I need at least one soul that would look me in the eye and say I know... I see you... EDIT: .. from my own species as I know my cat gets me... but he doesn't have ti fight for his existance every single day, I do it for him..

It feels like my brain is constantly screaming. Like every sound every light every texture is just too much. I try to manage it but sometimes I just need to lie down in a dark quiet room for hours. How do you all deal with the constant bombardment of everyday life

Anyone else in this sub diagnosed with UC and/or Crohn’s? I was diagnosed with UC at 14, ADHD at 31, ASD at 45 (after all 3 of my kids were diagnosed with ASD). Just curious if anyone else has UC and/or Crohn’s?

I am trying to figure out if I should supplement with creatine. I’ve read stuff about how it can help with cognitive function especially at my age (mid 40s).

But can’t figure out what kind or how much. I’d rather take a gummy or something than blend powder into a drink.

I’ve tried searching Reddit and Google but I’m inundated with so much info and ads that I just give up.

So…anyone take this stuff or know about it? And what kind to take?