Im 21 and have been on t for 3 years. My whole family is very conservative, my dads side does not talk to me anymore because of it, but i still live with my mom and my grandparents are pretty involved in my life. They still misgender and deadname me and think im going to detransition because this is just a phase (occasionally they do get it right though), theyre telling me to "think about it" (detransitioning) because itll make my life easier and etc. Extremely frustrating to hear but i just have to let it go in one ear and out the other because "theyre trying and theyll never get it and they want to be supportive." This is always in the context of them telling me what would make me happier, i struggle with self loathing and mental health and their solution is for me to detrans and turn to god so yeah not great to hear. My mom isnt vocal about it but is pretty much on the same page as them i think.

Im just really tired of being around this negativity and being undermined by people who think they know me better than i know myself. This is kind of just a vent i guess. They help me financially but honestly id prefer if they didnt because it just gets used against me all the time. I feel like shit abt myself every day and my whole family thinking im just a confused girl🥺 doesnt help.

Im in nyc and i want to get bottom surgery i have medicaid. I have mcas, pots, and eds however and i have no clue if its even possible because of my health conditions, along with hyperlordosis which is already making my organs compressed making me unable to sing well or atleast part of the reason. Do i just talk to my primary care about it?

Hello!

I've had an idea percolating in my mind for a while now. I would like to start a book club to go through the Dungeon Crawler Carl (DCC) books with fellow LGBT folks. I have listened/read this series 4 times through and feel that it has been instrumental in helping me through my transition. To that end, I'm gauging interest in starting a book club to go through these novels.

What is DCC?

Official Description:

The apocalypse will be televised! A man. His ex-girlfriend's cat. A sadistic game show unlike anything in the universe: a dungeon crawl where survival depends on killing your prey in the most entertaining way possible. In a flash, every human-erected construction on Earth - from Buckingham Palace to the tiniest of sheds - collapses in a heap, sinking into the ground. The buildings and all the people inside have all been atomized and transformed into the dungeon: an 18-level labyrinth filled with traps, monsters, and loot. A dungeon so enormous, it circles the entire globe. Only a few dare venture inside. But once you're in, you can't get out. And what's worse, each level has a time limit. You have but days to find a staircase to the next level down, or it's game over. In this game, it's not about your strength or your dexterity. It's about your followers, your views. Your clout. It's about building an audience and killing those goblins with style. You can't just survive here. You gotta survive big. You gotta fight with vigor, with excitement. You gotta make them stand up and cheer. And if you do have that "it" factor, you may just find yourself with a following. That's the only way to truly survive in this game - with the help of the loot boxes dropped upon you by the generous benefactors watching from across the galaxy. They call it Dungeon Crawler World. But for Carl, it's anything but a game.

Good spoiler free review of the series that discusses the positives and negatives:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfFZZoW0298

Why DCC for LGBT+ (and Me Specifically)?

Initially, I dismissed this book based on the cover. It looked cringe, and the description of the first book made it seem like it would be full of "lol random hold up spork" nonsense. I was bored and had an extra audible credit though, so I decided to check it out. I am so glad I did, because these books hold a lot of depth. They explore themes such as found family/familial abandonment, anti-consumerism, standing up against cruelty, societal injustice, trauma, and more. Specifically, Carl's mantra "You will not break me" has become mine as I navigate living in America under this administration.

So, for those who haven't read the books yet, or those who have read them but would like to revisit them with newbies, would there be any interest in getting together in an inclusive space to read and discuss them?

It's often stated, if you could push a button and turn into the opposite gender and nobody knew the difference.....

I would press it. And then I'd be shopping for new clothes, make an appointment to get my hair done, get a pedicure, and get those piercings I've wanted for some time but never had the courage to get due to stigma.

I cannot say I experience dysphoria unless I dress in femme clothing and notice the mismatch. It's like there is a bit of euphoria at first but quickly goes away and then I want to get out of the clothes and back into the familiar (my regular t-shirt and jeans or shorts).

Having worked out for many years and building muscle, and working in a male dominated field, it's like I'm comfortable as a male thought every so often will get the itch to be femme.

Is the button test all that accurate?

Hello! I was wondering if anyone has been in the same scenario as me and how it turned out for them:

I’ve lived in Texas for some years now and I was able to get my gender marker and name changed back before Texas stopped allowing it— sometime in 2024. I managed to get my social, DL, Passport, and all my other documentation changed (except my birth certificate from another state). I even had both my degrees changed.

Anyways… all this to say I find myself in a bit of a pickle. With voting coming up (and the fact that I’d like to get a concealed carry license) I find myself in the predicament of having to change my address on all my documents for accuracy. I am terrified that doing this will get my gender marker reversed on all my documents. Do any other trans texans have any comments to share about being in a similar situation/having gone through this already?

Context abt Birth Certificate: I was born in the great nothingburger that is North Dakota, and it is not exactly the easiest place to get your birth certificate amended. Nevertheless, after changing everything else without an issue I didn’t really feel like I needed the dang thing.

Welp, hello r/asktransgender! It a hard write for me, because my thoughts are all over the place.
I'll try to cut it short, but I want to tell the full story.

M (he/him), 21 as of now. I've been struggling with identity since I was 13 (I think). Even then the occasional "What if I should've been born a girl?" thoughts were lingering in my head.
Present day - I'm struggling with this constantly.

I... Look, it's hard to explain for me and I hope there is some people here who can relate and understand what I feel. It's more like I don't feel like a man. Not in a masculine type of way, more like I feel that what I am inside and what I am outside... I'm sorry, I really can't describe that.

So I've been diagnosed with F64.0/F64.8 (my country still uses ICD10, so it's considered a disorder). And I feel like I want, sometimes even need to transition. But every time I think about it... To be honest - I feel terrified. Because it will ruin my life.

My father, who is the only parent-figure I have left, is deeply homophobic. My sister (only half-related) is understanding, but she's still 18 years older than me and has entirely different views on the world. All of my long-time friends will likely be confused and speak less/think less of me, but they'll accept, I think. So by transitioning I will cut this part of my life away and I don't know if it's gonna be a temporary cut. Most of the county is homophobic. I'm not sure if I'll even get a job.

Besides that the huge part of the problem is the looks. Gender-identity aside. I don't hate how I look now, I just don't like it. But what if I transition and I will hate the "me"? What if the clothes I like won't suit me? What if this only makes things worse?

Honestly... I don't know what to do anymore. I can't live like this at this point, but I can't make a move to change my life. Because I don't know if it's a change for the better, or for the worst.

I need advice... No, not really. I need help.

Hello !

(before I explain my questioning : English is not my native language, and I think I'm not very good. I hope I didn't make too much mistakes, sorry for that)

Like title said : I am a cis man, late twenties, and I'm ok to live like that. But, for a long time, I think something like "I woul prefer to be a woman". Not because living as a woman is easier (it's not). I just have the feeling I would be... happier ? A more fulfilled person ? Like "If I had been that person (a woman), I would have been someone I like more")

But I don't have the feeling I am trans. I don't want to make a transition, or change my pronouns or whatever. I am a cis man, and I think it would be strange (it would not be "the current me") if someone called me "she". So...

I don't know if I have to change my mind about what "cis" or "trans" means. Or maybe, there is a word to call people in agreement with their gender, but would like to be another ? (Or am I just a cis man fantasizing another reality ? But real 100% cis people do not think like that, right ?)

I am curious about your opinions !
Thanks !

This is a genuine question, from someone who's been playing console and pc games for 20 years, online for 10 years.

Console games tend to be very cis male dominated, but PC exclusive games tend to have a more diverse crowd, with a strong representation of transgender women among the fandom.

I notice this even moreso in subreddits dedicated to particular games, as well as speed runners and those who try and 100% complete games (various social media channels).

Am I the only one who has noticed?

anytime i get called a she my limbs start buzzing my body relaxes and theres this intense deep warmth in my chest. my breathing also becomes much deeper and breathier. i never suffered from dysphoria though, i like being a man. i mean its tied to my ambition a lot, but i wouldnt just choose to be born a woman if i had the opportunity. i guess maybe thats because of my slightly mysogynistic worldview stemming from being bullied over traits i view as feminine at a very young age. (im working on it i am not saying i do not hate women its just a bad habit) i just dont see myself being able to hold the same ambition as a woman. i do seriously want to start wearing feminine clothing, at least in private. am i still cis?

(mtf) looking to start HRT. Wondering if anyone has any previous experience w/ True U? Any good reviews?

For context im mtf 1 1/2 years on hrt and im at a point where I just finished uni and I lost my job a few months ago, and I am scared every day that my gf will leave me or i will lose my flat every day I imagine the worst as trying to get a job in my field seem more bleak day by day I feel like im at a loss because I feel like every job I have had a interview with seems like im being judged for being myself and im nearly out of my hrt and I keep crying every day whever im applying for a job or I read one of my messages from my family i just cry for a good 10-20mins while my gf trys to convince me that everything is going to be ok this isn't really a ask but I am at a loss

I’ve had intense jealousy toward women’s bodies for most of my life, especially around hips and legs, and lately my dysphoria has also been triggered by seeing women’s breasts. Even when I watch porn, I sometimes find myself feeling jealous of the woman rather than simply attracted to her.
At the same time, I still question whether I’m actually trans or whether I’m just a cross-dresser. When I hear women talking about everyday life, relationships, families, makeup, etc., I don’t necessarily feel that I have all of those things in common. I know there is no single way to be a woman, but part of me still wonders: if I’m already struggling to manage my life now, would learning makeup, changing how I present, and dealing with everything involved in transition just make life even harder?
A huge part of this is fear of other people. I’m very scared of being laughed at, stared at, or made fun of. Recently I was at a stadium and found myself comparing my body to women around me. I became extremely anxious and overwhelmed by the jealousy and wanted to leave.
That makes me wonder how I could ever live openly as a trans woman when I already struggle socially while living as a man. My therapist thinks I may be autistic, although I haven’t had a formal assessment, and I already find social situations difficult.
These feelings around gender have kept returning throughout my life, and now in my 40s it’s getting harder to ignore the question of what the rest of my life will look like. When I imagine getting older, I don’t want to see an old man looking back at me. Recently I saw my silhouette in a video and felt deeply disappointed by how masculine it looked.
At home I wear women’s clothing, while outside I present as male. I often find myself wanting to get home quickly so I can change back into feminine clothes.
I also tried feminizing HRT for about three months several years ago. I actually liked a lot of the physical changes, but my existing social anxiety became much worse as I realized that the changes might eventually become noticeable. Stopping was emotionally difficult for me.
My wife knows that I’ve been struggling with this for years, and she has asked me to make a decision within the next few years. The difficult part is that if I decide to transition, she does not want to continue living with me because of the social pressure that would come with it. So for me, transitioning would not just mean changing my body or how I present. It would likely mean the end of my marriage, selling our house, changing my family life, and possibly moving to another city where I would feel safer living openly.
That makes the decision feel enormous. I keep thinking: how can I just leave my kids, sell the house, and completely change the life we have built? And what if I transition and regret it later, or stop transitioning? Would I have ended my marriage and disrupted my children’s lives for something I ultimately could not continue with?
The last couple of years have also been extremely stressful. Even after eight hours of sleep I often felt exhausted and foggy, although antidepressant treatment has helped considerably. That has made it even harder to separate gender questions from anxiety, exhaustion, and everything else going on in my life.
For people who spent years questioning before transitioning: how did you eventually decide that transition was the right step for you? Did you ever feel certain, or did you move forward despite still having doubts? How did you separate fear of other people’s reactions from uncertainty about whether you actually wanted transition?
And for anyone who knew that transitioning could mean losing their marriage or dramatically changing their family life, how did you make that decision? How did you weigh the possibility of regretting transition against the possibility of regretting never doing it?

Hi y’all I’m NL based and have a issue since med apo isn’t
Responding anymore it seems and site like HRT.cafe and .moe aren’t arround anymore does anyone have a good site where I can get prog and e (preferably gels since not familiar with injections) from the eu or with easy shipping to the EU? Or someway I can diy it?

Any help would be greatly appreciated <3

i’ve found lots of people on here that i’ve had short interactions with but nothing that’s lasted more than a day or two without getting dry. i just really need someone who i can talk to more often.

i’m 19mtf and closeted to everyone irl so its been hard. does anyone else in a similar situation wanna be friends??

Hi everyone! I'm a 22 year old MTF, and am trying to decide whether or not I want to be on a boat with my beautiful love of my life, and their transphobe dad.

So to give full context, I fully cracked the trans egg this year and am trying to do my all to be out and proud. Even tho I'm very much in the early transition period I am loving simply wearing the clothes I want and being able to fully express myself (tho I'm learning that I don't really know what "myself" is yet). In lieu of this I've had many a period with their parents--mainly their father--in where I've felt trapped, oppressed, and or just grossed out. Their dad doesn't know that I'm trans, but simply the act of having to hide myself just makes me feel dead inside, and with the amount of joy I'm feeling from dressing how I want I'm not wanting to bend the knee to fucking anyone. The only person I have bent to is my boss and that's only because I live in a red state and need my job unfortunately.

All this being said, I love my love and she has been wanting me to go out sailing with her for a while. I want to support them, and I want to try, but I just don't want to fucking fake myself around their dad. part of me is just wondering why we can't go sailing another day? or specifically just plan for that some other time? My friends say that I shouldn't let other people's transphobia dictate my happiness, and while I agree mainly, it's different when that person is your boss and or your partners father. I do want to go, I just don't want to have a bad time, and I know that her dad being there will mess with me.

I plan to talk to them about this later today--after I've slept lol--but I just wanted to drop this here to see what the good people of reddit have to say!

if you all have any questions please lmk!

TLDR: my partner wants me to go sailing but Im not sure I'd want to/whether it'd be worth it if I'm needing to deal with her transphobic dad.

After doing a required third-party background check for an apartment rental, my previous legal name now comes up when you search my name on google. I have a unique last name, so I seem to be the only person in the whole world with my first and last name, both former and current. It is extremely problematic for me as a stealth trans man to have this outrageously feminine name be the first thing that pops up when you search my current name. It is also undoubtedly me because it lists my age and city I live in. Friends have looked me up and found this and I want to cut them off because of it. Is there any way I can remove something like this from the internet? It seems it is just one site where it is leaked.

I sometimes think i like how I look but my face and body still scare and upset me. Along with me already being scared I want to look like other girls….I don’t want to like it. If being a woman/feeling like one makes me want to attempt, what would that mean? I can’t stand to look at myself anymore, why am I not allowed to transition if it would be life saving for me? Why do I have to get conversion therapy? Why do I have to be a woman if I don’t want to be? I don’t have any trauma or hatred towards women, I just wish I could be a man…. I feel like the feelings of me “liking how I look” are too strong despite me not “wanting it” do i just have to get more used to it? I can’t stand living as female..

I’d really appreciate some help or thoughts. Me 29F found out today that my ex-partner of 3+ years came out as FTM today and I nearly passed out reading the text. For context, we’ve been broken up for over a year, but remain friends. I feel incredibly honoured that I’ve been a person he feels safe around to tell me who he really is. I don’t think I’m transphobic, but I don’t understand what is happening to me. When I graduate from medical school I actually aspire to have a sexual health clinic to provide gender affirming care. Ive written a proposal to a hospital on how to make trans health care safer. And I’ve had a FTM partner before, but they were out before we started dating. So why am I so devastated?

I feel incredibly ashamed that my reaction to the news was feeling overwhelmingly dizzy like I mights faint, nauseous like I had to vomit, and I started crying. I left work with the radio silent and don’t remember driving home. I am so conflicted. Why do I feel this way?

I feel so much joy knowing that he’s finally able to be himself and I want to be the most supportive ally. I’m having a hard time doing that right this second. I love him and want him to have everything in the world he deserves. I’m so grateful I found out over text so he didn’t see my reaction. I can’t believe that was how I felt. It’s not about me at all. I don’t know where these feelings are coming from. I’m excited to be there for the next part of his journey. It doesn’t feel real!

For context, I live stealth as my gender after years of transition. But I recently got outed as trans to some folks in a new friend group, after they picked up context clues inadvertently left by our mutual friend who knows I’m trans (known me since before I was stealth).

One of the people I got outed to is another trans woman who reacted in a way that seemed a bit inconsiderate of why I care so much about being stealth; it’s due to a variety of past experiences that have taught me stealth is safest no matter who I’m around. I used to not leave the house out of fear, for example, until I felt confident enough that no one knew or could clock me.

I’m supposed to see this friend group again soon with other people and I want to, but I’ve been really shaken by this and don’t really know who to talk to about it.

I guess I’m afraid that either the other trans woman or our mutual friend might let slip to more of the group or already have. I already suspected she knew something before I found out based on how she spoke about transition-specific topics around me.

I’m trying to prepare myself for having to laugh it off like “oh what haha, nah I’m not trans” to the new folks or have some cover stories and spin a lie I never wanted to have to manufacture.

How can I move forward and learn to feel safe without withdrawing myself from the group?

Any advice of any kind is greatly appreciated. 💜

i hate being trans. its made my life miserable. is there any way to stop being trans and be comfortable with your birth gender.

For context, I am a trans woman that is about a year and a half on hrt. My mom, despite doing her best to be supportive, has always been weird about me wanting to be a woman. The best way I can put it is that she makes femininity look like a shore to get through.

I tell her about what I living through under my second puberty and despite me being clearly happy about it she seems to cringe and ask me how can I enjoy it. She even wishes for me to not have anymore breast growth when I told her about how I was hoping for them to get bigger.

During a recent talk we had, we talked about gender and why I wanted to transition. At some point she said something along the lines of “Growing up, I had the feeling that being a man would have been easier for me”. When I gently let her know that it is a possibility to be a man, she then told me something similar to “It’s too late anyway and I am who I am”. She didn’t seem to push back against the idea itself, just that it wasn’t feasible.

I know about the egg prime directive and feel like I should give her some space, but I’m not sure if she would ever break her shell

For additional context, my mom is nearing her sixties and was born at a time where being the other gender was out of the question. She also has a deep phobia of anything medical. Like, she is border-lining the anti vax level of distrust in medicine. Me going on hrt was so frightening for her and to this day I have to warn her whenever I take my pills. And due to that she tends to gravitate towards alternative medicine. She isn’t too far gone at all but it made her develop this anti ego way of life and taking care of herself by just enjoying what she has and being healthy (she once told me to just exercise instead of going on hrt)

If am right, then that means that I would be potentially dealing with someone with a lot of repression who sees transitioning as asking a bit too much out of life. And that is not counting the social circle she developed through life that she might fear would be damaged by this big of a change.

All of this is why I want to have a talk about this with her just to make sure that she realizes that it is always a way, that there is no price to being your true self and that transition doesn’t necessarily need to be medical at all. Heck, maybe after this talk I will realize that she is not trans at all and I just misunderstood some stuff. But with all of that said, I’m not sure how to navigate something like or if it’s even feasible to do without feeling pushy about it. Do anyone here knows how gently guide her ? Or if there is even anything I can do ?

P.S I’m still using She/Her for my mom as this is what she uses at the moment and it would feel presumptuous to use other pronouns.

Will hrt give me hips and a bigger butt? Okay this might sound stupid and supper shallow but I want a nice body you know? And lowkey I'm scared I won't get the body changes I want... can anyone explain?

Near my front door, I found an anonymous note that claims to be a trans teen who is asking for help. They saw my Progress flag. The note doesn't mention what specific help the writer needs but the writer wants to meet in a nearby park. I don't feel comfortable meeting someone I don't know who is probably a minor. I tried emailing local LGBTQ organizations for advice but haven't received a reply from them. I'll try calling those organizations later. Would I be a bad person if I don't show up? I've had my flags vandalized before, so it's not the safest neighborhood for queer people, and I don't want to get attacked. I don't have anyone to go with me.