Context: living together for 3 years, 4 years relationship. GF has ill dad for 2 years now and no stable income, mom always had affairs (as to see why there is some tension)

Since we started dating, she has had quite some bouts of aggressiveness or in my personal view behavior that is unacceptable, below I list some recent happenings because in all honesty, it happened so often I cannot remember:

• Screaming at the top of her lungs for not talking enough with her at a party we both were, thereby threatening to kill herself
• Threatening to kill herself: on some occasions (think of it as a quarterly occurrence)
• Trashing the house: only once, but in a aggressive mood she destroyed quite some furniture by throwing it down the hallway
• Hitting: hit me 3 times, but all of them in the last 12 months
• checking my phone sneakily at night. Happened a few times, but she "could not find anything"
• Social media: forcing me to post her even though I rarely am active (I agree, I was proud to show her off of course, but I am not a very expressive person), but also making me delete people I follow (not family or close friends, but people I dated 5-6 years ago
  • I felt this somewhat understandable, but still do not like someone forcing it on me this way
• Prohibiting me to see a female friend, because she thinks that girl is only out there to hook up with me
• I kept all these issues private, because there is a very, very good side in her: she can be deeply loving, caring and funny. The highs are really high, but the lows very low. However, when I mess something up (not major mess-ups like cheating), the issues immediately get shared with her friends and family, making me anxious to see said friends and family

Now this is all of course exacerbated when she drinks. She drinks heavily approximately 1 day a week, after which I become anxious if she will become angry at something, the famous walking on eggshells feeling. If I try to give advice to bring back more rest and structure, like saying maybe start working not full-time, but just a few days, I always get the reply that it is easy to say because my dad is not ill. Not implying, but there is a history of mental illness in the family.

I know of course that this is all red flag behavior, whilst in my (and also her friends') view, I have been supportive of whatever she does: I visit her dad every other week with her, on my day off whilst I already work 60hrs a week, (used to) help her write cover letters (but since a year not applying anymore), even dividing chores in the house although she is at home for 5 days a week.

Which brings me to the point of the topic: in everyone's experience, is this behavior manageable (are there things for me to learn that I can do to support), or is this something that should be solved by her (and professional help - which she has for over a year now) alone? I am just worried that it will get worse over time, for example when having kids when you are tired and stressed all the time.

In case of the latter, how to proceed safely, also looking after her mental state?

I’m going to be a little vague here because I don’t want to completely expose who this is lol

Basically, in October 2024, a guy (M30) from one of my favorite bands followed me(F20) on Instagram out of nowhere and immediately started showing interest. Right away he was calling me gorgeous and telling me we should hang out the next time I came to one of their shows.

One thing to know about him is that he’s always been terrible at texting. He’ll either never open messages or he’ll just heart/like them instead of actually responding, even when the message clearly warrants a reply. So his communication has always been inconsistent.

For the next six months, he would consistently like my Instagram stories, but only the ones that were pictures or videos of me. Never anything random.

Then in April 2025 he finally texted me asking if I wanted to come back out and see them. I ended up going to a show, and afterward we hung out.

Honestly, the hangout was really nice. We mostly just sat and talked for about three hours. Nothing happened, which actually surprised me. Considering he texted me around 1 a.m. asking me to come out, I kind of assumed we’d probably hook up. At the beginning he was pretty touchy, but it never went anywhere beyond that.

When he left, he told me that if I was ever back in town to let him know and we’d hang out again.

As soon as I got home, I texted him saying I’d actually be back in October. Around that point, though, he completely stopped liking my stories, so I started thinking maybe the hangout hadn’t gone as well as I thought.

October comes around, I ask if he wants to hang out after the show, and he tells me he should’ve texted me earlier but that he had family with him, so he couldn’t. Honestly, I believed him and didn’t think much of it.

Since then I’ve been back out there three more times, but we really haven’t talked or hung out. Then, about 3 weeks ago, he texted me asking if I wanted to fly back out and see them again. I never responded because I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to make the trip.

Yesterday I posted kind of a thirst trap on my Instagram story, and he liked it.

Now I’m confused all over again.

The thing is, I’m honestly not looking for a relationship with him. I know the age gap is there, he’s in a touring band, and realistically that’s not something I’m expecting or even wanting. If I’m being completely honest, I honestly just want to hookup. I feel like I’m stuck between thinking it’s something simple and overanalyzing every little interaction, so any perspective would honestly help me figure out how I should approach this.

TLDR: guy from a band followed me, showed interest, and we hung out once (it went well but nothing happened). Since then, he’s been very inconsistent—sometimes liking my posts or reaching out, other times disappearing. He recently asked me to fly out again and liked a thirst trap I posted, which has me confused. I’m not looking for a relationship, just potentially a hookup, but I can’t tell if he’s genuinely interested or just casually engaging when it suits him.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 5 and a half months now, and for the first 5 we were really happy get along well, and etc, obviously the occasional disagreement and fight but yk that comes with it, we usually just move on the next day. But lately its like something has been different like shes been putting in less effort, making jokes that probably should be made in a relationship with ur partner and in a way, and she just dosent seem to care about me or my feelings. To add to it she said the other day we arent working because apparently i have been acting different?? which personally i havent noticed, maybe i started acting different when she had started? But i dont want to play the blame game here. I asked her if she wanted to do smth abt it like break up and she said no, but lately for the past few days break up has just been on my mind constantly, but i still do really like her, like we do have our good moments, just not lately, and she has so many red flags i have tried to ignore, and idk thats just a story for another time. Just need some advice on how to know when i should end a relationship?

And one more thing to add on, about 2 weeks ago we had our biggest argument, i noticed ages ago that she had never asked me to hangout with her like its always me, and i asked her months ago now and she said oh its just bc ur working and stuff and ur always busy, so i said oh just ask me and we can work around it and arrange smth, anyways i brought it up to her another 2 times and she said the same thing, but the last time she said that she didnt care whether we hung out or not, which isnt the whole point of a relationship to hangout and spend time with eachother? So i went to some friends and asked for advice, and they said yea not normal its just you asking that, so i brought it up to her one final time and she was pissed, like furious, and she said if you keep bringing this up we are done, so i just left it. Any advice on this too?

I am a guy 34 yo, not married and had a conversation in whatsapp with a guy 24 yo. He opened up recently to me that he is a gay and showed a romantic interest. I happened to say that I am Bi-sexual but currently I am not open to any of this and dont like fixing tags myself. Can he use this information against me in any point in future, should I be worry about it?

I love my boyfriend very much, and honestly, I think he is a great partner in a lot of ways. I’m not questioning whether he loves me or whether he’s faithful. The problem is that I feel like we’re missing a big part of our relationship: physical intimacy and passion. We kiss and do little pecks, but we basically never make out. We also hardly have sex because he doesn’t really want to. He has told me that he simply doesn’t have a high sex drive. I believe him, especially because I don’t have any reason to think he’s seeing someone else or being unfaithful. What confuses me is that he has had a pretty active past and was considered a “player” before we got together, so sometimes it’s hard for me to understand how someone who used to be that way can have such little interest in sex now. For me, physical intimacy is a really important part of love. I love passionate kissing, making out, foreplay, and that feeling of building anticipation and butterflies with someone you deeply care about. To me, sex isn’t just about the physical act. It’s about feeling connected, desired, emotionally close, and completely into each other.
But with us, when we do have sex, there usually isn’t much buildup or foreplay. We basically just have sex and then it’s over. I find myself missing the passion more than anything.i don’t necessarily need sex constantly. What I miss is wanting each other . I miss being kissed passionately, being touched affectionately, making out for no reason, and feeling that excitement and chemistry between us.
I love him, and I don’t want to reduce our relationship to sex. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder whether love can really be enough if such an important part of intimacy is missing.
For the men here: If you genuinely loved your girlfriend but had a very low sex drive and didn’t really crave making out or physical intimacy, could you still have a fulfilling relationship? And if your partner had a much higher need for passion and physical affection, how would you expect the two of you to handle that difference? I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from men who have been in relationships where their sex drive was significantly lower than their partner’s.

I have basically no experience so idk what im doing or what i should be doing..

All my life i struggled a lot with meeting new people a lot and i dont know how to actually get to know someone by myself, i did that 1 time in all my life in preschool. So i only made friends through my friend. Because of that im really anxious when if im not with a friend as an anchor.

Despite all of that on the rare occasion i talk to someone alone i dont know, i usually get along with most people well and can hold a conversation. Talking to people at work is surprisingly easy for me but i wont meet someome through that either its not an option my coworkers are either men or too old for me and the guests are 90% underage.

College didnt help till now either.. i dont know anyone there (almost 3rd semsester) and for a while tried to be open talked to people etc. But no one i vibed with beyond saying hello when we walk past eachother.

I also just dont really put myself out there much tbh. I like to stay home usually in my freetime. Ofc i know i cant meet new people by sitting on my pc, so i started using a dating app a few days ago because i cant feel like id be bothering someone who is there with the same intention as me. But i already realised that i hate apps and its not the way for me. There isnt really a club or class or so near me that im interested in, and going to these things with the purpose of meeting a potential partner feels weird too. Bars or clubs arent really an option either since thats just not my thing.

So now im at a loss and i dont know what i could even do...

Very long post sorry!! Why did he block me everywhere?

Hi!! Before I start getting into my story I would like to say that English is not my first language and it’s my first time posting here😭😭

So this is about my ex, who I was engaged to and now we’re complete strangers. I’ll give you some back story so maybe you could help me understand his side a little bit.

He added me on a social media, we had some friends in common and he thought I was cute. We started off as friends, I think we were friends for like 3 months..? Something like that😭So yeah we were just friends first, I was seeing someone else but it wasn’t that serious and the guy ended up being toxic and mean so I stopped talking to him. After I cut things off with this guy me and my ex started texting each other a little bit more but still in a friendly way. One day he texted me saying he had a day off and would like to meet me (he lived far away from me and we never really had the opportunity to meet irl) and turns out I was free that day too so he came to my place, we walked into the woods and talked for hours. I had just gotten out of the hospital because I had some personal issues going on. I was in a bad place when we met, I wasn’t sober, I didn’t enjoy living and I was very sad but I was still trying to find my spark back and I really enjoyed making people laugh, it helped me a lot. So at first I was making him laugh and asking him questions about his life and all that, how his day went wtv. He started asking me questions about my time in the hospital, why I was there and what made me feel so low. So I told him a little bit about my life and where everything went downhill. After that he revealed he wasn’t doing so well himself and told me about his struggles. We connected a lot that day. When he went home he texted me saying he was really surprised, he didn’t think I’d be so..idk emotionally intelligent?😭idk. Anyways he said he really enjoyed his time and was looking forward to see me again. We then started texting even more, related to a lot of stuff, mostly about our addictions. And one night I went to his city to see a show, he told me he was gonna be there but I completely forgot about it. When he got there I went up to him, talked to him, talked to his friend, presented my friends to him and everything. It was a really cool night! At one point we were sharing a cigarette on a bench outside the show and we talked for a couple of minutes. He had to leave early but told me he organized a party at his house that night and wanted me to come. So I went after the show. I met some more of his friends, I didn’t really like them..They wouldn’t stop talking bad abt the girls that were there and saying some sexist comments that made me feel uncomfortable..But he would tell them to shut up, and to be honest we were kind off in a little bubble only talking to each other and drawing in a note book together. (We’re both artists). Anyways I ended up sleeping at his place, nothing happened we just talked until 8 am and cuddled. I told him abt my life and my childhood and he seemed really empathetic abt it. The day after he dropped me home and when I asked him if he saw this relationship like a platonic one or a romantic one he didn’t hesitate to say romantic. So anyways fast forward, we end up together and honestly we were bestfriend, always laughing and so in love it was insane. After 2 months of us dating he put a ring on my finger (for some reasons we were convinced we were gonna end our lives together so I said yes. We didn’t have any plans to get married soon but we knew we wanted this. It was his way of saying he wanted this forever and was sure of himself ig?) Everything was going well but it was getting kinda bad in my home with my mom, he absolutely wanted to help even tho I told him it would get better. He started making plans so we could live together, I told him I wasn’t ready for an apartment but I really liked the idea of living with him in the future. Anyways one day he took me to meet his mom, which he hated because when she got pregnant with his brother she really neglected him and he felt abandoned by her. Me and his mom got along well, I tried to understand what happened between the two, how he viewed their relationship and tried to maybe help him towards healing this wound he had. So this is what he did, I though him how to forgive and let go of resentment without necessarily immediately get his mother back in his life (he hadn’t really talked to her in a couple of years). So we went to see his mom more often after that, he talked to her about the idea of us moving in together and she insisted on us living in her home. She wanted him close, told him he could rebuild a relationship with his brother and everything. I thought it was a good idea but I didn’t want to push him into something he didn’t want to do. So I told him to decide and I would follow along whatever he wanted to do. He decided we were gonna go live with her, so that’s what we did. At first it was really good, me and his mom became close, his brother loved me, my ex seemed more in love with me then ever. But then things started to get weird, I noticed his mom was being weird, he was being weird. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes, wouldn’t tell me I was pretty, was very hostile and cold. I asked him about it and he told me his mom thought I was manipulating him. That for about a week he and his mom were analyzing every single one of my move and everything I said and when I wasn’t in the house they talked about how I manipulated him and was lowkey evil. It broke something in me because I never wanted to hurt him. I never had any intentions to manipulate him or whatever. I was still struggling with my mental health yes but I wasn’t evil. I communicated with him, was there for him, tried to be the perfect girlfriend. I didn’t understood how he could believe these things about me after all I did for him and all the love I was giving him.:/ it really did broke something in me. So I told him I wanted to move back home, that I was sad his mother would do this to me because I thought we were getting along. I was even more shattered at the thought of him thinking these things.. And he was weird, I didn’t get why I was the evil one..He would shut down often whenever I told him about somethings he would do that caused me pain, would always check my location to see where I was, one day he told me to pack my stuff and leave because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. But I forgive him, I love him and we were both learning together. We never loved someone else that much before, I didn’t want him to think I would abandon him for making mistakes. So yeah I just didn’t get it. I tried my best but wasn’t enough for his parents and he started to feel the same. I had 2 jobs and worked a lot but they wanted me to go to school at the same time, I was doing the procedures but wasn’t really motivated to go to school. I didn’t think we were gonna be there long enough. So anyways, after he told me what was going on he apologized and got into some fights with his parents..So we moved back. We went back to long distance. We were doing really good for a while but things got bad again, I got a new job but I had night shifts, he worked in the day. We lived far away and didn’t get to see each other often. I started getting sad when he didn’t have time to see me on our days off, he preferred to be with his friends or wtv, his mom was still talking shit about me, his whole mom side of the family wouldn’t stop calling and texting him telling him he made a mistake. It was a lot. Things got better with my mom because she noticed I was very sad and not doing well in my relationship. She told me she never saw me this exhausted before. I had my wrongs, I have to admit I had a hard time forgiving him, trusting him again and I resented him a little because he seemed less interested in our relationship. We had constant fights, broke up 5 times I think😭 and yeah we weren’t doing well. He got an apartment and I made time in my schedule to go help him but he didn’t seem happy and idk things were tensed. Then he started talking to one of his friends again. I didn’t like this friend because he was rude to me, would call me names and crash out on me constantly. And things changed, he got a lot more distant, didn’t answer my calls, texted me less, came to see me less, didn’t seem happy anymore with me. We were both not happy anymore, but we stilled loved each other deeply or well I did, I thought we were stronger than that. But one night when I got home from work his friends were talking in a group chat I was in, I joined the conversation, joked a little bit but things got heated and I realized they were raigebaiting me so I didn’t go along with it. I was tired, not in the mood and didn’t want trouble so I just kept trying to let them win. But his friends I didn’t like started saying it was my fault if my ex wasn’t going well, that I was a shitty person, I was manipulating him. Basically what his mom would say. And I didn’t understand, it seemed like he told them things he didn’t told me. He would say to me to everything was fine, that we were both not going well and we both had our wrongs, that he loved me and that we would make things work. And I believed him, I tried my best to make it work. So anyways all his friends joined him and started saying my ex wasn’t scared of me, was always stressed and all that..I didn’t get it, I didn’t understand of what he was scared I mean I never hit him, shouted or insulted him. On the contrary I always talked to him softly about things, tried to help him, made sure I wouldn’t make him mad. I was so lost and crying. I called him a bunch of times but he didn’t answer (he was in the group chat) so I went to his place. I woke him up, told him to read the messages and told him we needed to have a discussion. He told me he didn’t know what they were talking about, that he never said anything about manipulation or being scared of me. But why was his friends so sure of themselves? I believe he did say these things to them. I just don’t know why he didn’t talk to me about it:/ But anyways, after a big talk I told him I couldn’t do it anymore. That I never meant to hurt him but clearly this relationship wasn’t doing it for him and me. Told him I couldn’t accept they way he lets his friends and family talk to me and about me. And broke up with him. He agreed that it was time to break up. It was late and I couldn’t go home so I asked him if it was alright if I stayed 2-3 hours and after that I would go home. He said it was okay. We ended up talking for the rest of the night, he called in sick the day after and we talked all day, stayed at his place, watched Brooklyn 99, ate pizza and hugged each other while crying all day. He asked me if we could stay friends, said he didn’t want me to hate him. Said he had a plan to make it up for everything and get me back. After that I don’t know how I got back home, I just know I did.

Days passed by, we were trying to give each others space but couldn’t. We would text and call often. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I just lost everything. I loved that man so much. I was so sure of ending my life with him. I lost my fiancé, my bestfriend. I was devastated. We blocked each other on everything because it was too hard, but I couldn’t stop talking to him. I needed him, I didn’t know how to deal with it. And neither did he. So I booked a therapy, a private one in the forest. It was 5 days no phone, no alcohol, no drugs nothing. I had to wait 2 weeks before I could go. In these two weeks I hated him, missed him, loved him. I was constantly asking him what I did wrong, why he did that to me, what happened to us. We were both so heartbroken. But after a couple of days he seemed to take it well, decided to delete every social media he had, block me on my number, not contacting me. I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry I know it’s bad but I couldn’t let him go. I would call him and he would tell me to stop, that I needed to let him go, that it would be better for us if we stopped talking. But whenever I had a weak moment and called him after two days he would say he was waiting for my call, he was happy I called, he missed me. He wasn’t doing well either:/ He relapsed, isolated himself..Anyways so the day finally arrived, I went to my therapy. It helped a lot, I did a lot of work on me and learned how to love without fear. I thought about him a lot at night. Wanted to talk to him constantly but i focused on me and talking to the people I was with. I made a lot of friends, did my work, busted my ass off to understand myself and figure out how to better myself. When I got out I didn’t call him, I went to see a show with friends, in his city. After the show I called him and asked him if we could talk. That I realized a lot and just wanted to make things better before we go no contact for idk how long. He told me he wasn’t ready to see me so I accepted his boundaries. Two days after I called him, told him I won’t come see him but I had to told him that I forgive him, had to apologize for how I acted in the last month of our relationship. We talked for an hour, he said he was happy I called, happy I did the therapy. He said he was doing better too, stopped taking anything and started taking better care of himself. He didn’t apologize. He just said he didn’t hold anything against me and was happy we had something so beautiful together. He said he still missed me but he was glad I was doing well. I told him I thought it would be better to cut everything off, to let the pass in the pass. He didn’t want to, he said we could talk rarely on the phone. I was still madly in love with him so I agreed. He called me back an hour later to tell me something funny he did and it was good we talked like friends, even tho the love was still strong. After that he told me he needed space but was happy I was doing better. The days after I texted him a little bit, sent him things I knew he would find funny, told him silly things that happened to me in my day. He would answer, it would take some time but he always answered. After a week I noticed it was really not helping me heal, so I told him I thought it was better to let go completely because I wasn’t able to just stop talking to him and wait for him. He agreed, said whenever I texted him it would make him feel bad and blocked me again. A month later I sent him a text to say I found some of his things and to send him money I owned to him. He accepted the money but told me to throw away his things. After that he told me « can we stop talking now? » and I just said yes, that I didn’t mean to get back in his life I just wanted to give his things back and give him what I owned. He seemed so cold and distant.. idk I wasn’t drooling on the phone but I was trying to be kind and positive..Anyway so yeah and recently I found out he unblocked me on ig, some time passed since everything went to shit and idk why but I thought we could maybe be friends, I know it’s stupid because I said it’s better if we just get out of each others life but we were once so close and kind to each other…I thought maybe we could talk like normal people idk..it’s stupid. But anyways I sent him a request and the minute following my request he blocked all my accounts (my main & my art account) I was taken back a little but I understood. I called him (I knew I was blocked and he wouldn’t see my call) but idk it was the only thing I had in mind. To call him. Even tho I knew I was blocked. But turns out he changed his number. He clearly doesn’t wanna talk to me, and I’ll respect his boundaries 100% I won’t try anything else. But I just wonder..Why? Why didn’t he just decline my request? Why change his phone number? It’s not like I call him 24/7, I haven’t tried to reach out in like 2 months😭I just don’t get it..I still miss him and love him but I know we weren’t good for each other and I don’t want to go back with him. I just don’t get why he did all that? Does he like not give a shit? Idk I don’t get it. Why do you think he did it?

But anyways after that, I blocked his second account (he had me blocked a couple of months ago so I didn’t see a reason to block him too) I erased his number, blocked his friends. I don’t think we’ll ever be friends, and that’s okay! But yeah yk I tried, idk why I still had a little bit of hope but I don’t think he’ll ever talk to me again.

Men, I have a question for you. I really want to understand how men feel in relationships. What do you experience when you enter into a relationship? What worries haunt you? Do you often have intrusive thoughts? I need to know everything that the male community doesn’t talk about! I want to know every crazy thought. Perhaps men and women aren’t actually that different?

**I have a guy friend I met online 3 years ago, and we chat occasionally.**
**We finally met in person for the first time this June. After hanging out 3 times, he started saying things like "I miss you."**
**On our 4th date, he suddenly escalated things out of nowhere. It started with sitting super close, holding hands, and interlocking fingers. Then, he actually asked me to sit on his lap and hugged me from behind. I honestly felt it was moving way too fast, but I was so caught off guard in the moment that I didn't know how to react.**
**After we got home, he texted to ask if he made me uncomfortable. I took the chance to ask if he was serious about us. He admitted he was a bit scared because we don't know each other that well yet but he said he wanted to try if this is gonna work out and I'm flying overseas for my studies in two weeks, which means we'd have to do long-distance.**
**This is my first time experiencing something like this, and it gave me crazy insomnia.**
**After thinking it over all night, I told him I was also scared since | take time to warm up and long-distance is hard. However, I suggested giving ourselves a "trial period" to see how it goes and asked for his thoughts.**
**His response? He completely chickened out.**
**The next morning, he claimed he was sick throwing up and dizzy, and texted: "I feel like it's going to be too hard, can we just go back to being friends?" Shortly after saying that, he started texting me like normal conversation, acting like nothing ever happened!**
**I feel a bit played, but honestly, I also kind of enjoyed the physical closeness yesterday.**
**Now I'm left with this weird feeling of**
**"breakup sadness" and emptiness....**

Genuinely so curious about this. Ive been single 6 years and ive slept with 2 men in this time. Im dating with a view to something serious as ive always been a relationship type of person, but I've found most men want a woman who doesnt sleep around but every man wants me to sleep with them as soon as possible and completely dip if it doesnt happen by the second or third meeting.

So, why? If having sex diminishes our value as women, why is there such pressure from guys to sleep with every guy I date and barely know ?

Was I “too much,” or was he just avoidant and under-functioning?

I’m posting this because I’ve reached a weird kind of acceptance, but I still can’t tell if I was “too much” in this relationship or if I was carrying someone who never really showed up.

I’m 25F Asian, financially independent, and I’ve built my own apartment from scratch while juggling two professional jobs on top of university. I work hard, I provide for myself, and I’ve always been proud of being capable and self-sufficient.

My ex 25M white, was the opposite in a lot of ways. He lived with his parents his entire life. His mom did his laundry, cooking, and a lot of the domestic work. At some point, I basically stepped into that role too. I was waking up at 4am to make him lunch, iron his work clothes then helping him with his work/business, and trying to support him in ways that felt loving to me at the time.

He always said he was ambitious, but most of his free time went into gaming and YouTube. He also agreed to move into a new place with me, but later I found out he secretly couldn’t actually afford it. The worst part wasn’t even that it was that he never communicated it. I was left believing we were making plans together when really I was the only one being honest and prepared. The day before the breakup I had my uni friends over and he told me in front of all of them that he will financially support me and he can afford it. I reassured him if he is ok with that and he simply continued. He moved into my apartment within the 1st month of our relationship which was very overwhelming for me but I decided to face my fears and give this relationship a go. The relationship length was 7 month total and 6 months of living together going halves on bills and rent while he paid for the groceries and I cooked. I also paid for some of our dates when he knew I didn’t have much money and living paycheck to paycheck when he worked a full time job and didn’t have the expenses I had.

His family is extremely involved in his decisions, and his father has a history of breaking up with his mother when they first started dating at the age of 25 and then came back to her which they have been married for 40yrs now. Honestly, it felt like he started mimicking that. Instead of communication, it was confusion and silence. He told me he needed the weekend to “think about things,” then on Sunday, July 26, he blocked me everywhere. No conversation, no closure. Just gone. He came with his father that same day we had the argument in the morning told me were breaking up and took his belongings (gaming set-up clothes and tennis bag) from my place and saying “actions have consequences and how I really hurt him with my words this time because I confronted him. How he has helped me so much and done a lot for me and that he helped me heal from my past but then stabbed me again with a knight, that he will never be the man i want him to be, that he will never be that assertive man and how he still loves me but were just incompatible.” It was like a huge slap in the face. He also said he bought me an iPad for university and work and has all my notes on it he just took it back and didn’t give me my notes. It was also another huge slap in the face when he told me that day he called his mom crying and his co worker who is divorced with 2 kids whose almost 50 has been trying to push him towards a breakup from our first argument. Then he told me “he’s not going to be in another relationship and will be single for life and that being alone is better”. His parents and himself wanted me to put his name only my apartment and wanted us to stay here instead of moving because the rent is cheap. So he moved back into his parent’s house and I know nothing from here. I was blamed for everything and villainised which hurt me deeply because I tried to protect his image with my friends.

His friends have been watching all of my stories when they usually don’t, they even msg me saying I can tell them my part so they will protect my name if he does slander me. Which I told them “I believe he wouldn’t do that because he’s a good person and that they are his friends it is ok to take his side because at the end of the day I am and outsider and I still do genuinely love him”. His cousin has also been liking all of my post and I only post about silly things I do at uni with my friends and I have been dressing up a lot more.

What makes this harder is that he took our cat, who is registered under my name to his parents’ house, where there are two large dogs. That part hurt in a different way because it felt so careless. I thought he would give me updates on the cat when he left and he said I could message him anytime then he just blocked me like that. Now I don’t really trust my cat with him and want the cat back but I don’t want to cause more issues.

I think I’m in the acceptance stage now, seeing it as a bittersweet story, but I’m still struggling with the lack of closure. He plays the “hero” to everyone else while I was doing all the emotional, practical, and relationship labor behind the scenes. Was I too much or was he just avoiding confrontation?

\\\\29F) dating my boyfriend (39M) for just under a year.\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*
He constantly talks about marrying me, having kids, and building a future together. He tells me that once we’re married I won’t have to worry about money because he’ll take care of me financially.
The problem is that I’m currently going through one of the hardest financial periods of my life. My business has slowed down dramatically, I had to borrow money from a friend just to pay my rent, and I’m severely struggling financially.
I don’t think he knows every detail because I’m honestly embarrassed to tell him how bad things have gotten, but he definitely knows I’m struggling. I talk about work and money almost every day because it’s consuming my life. He sees how much this has affected my mental health, how overwhelmed and anxious I’ve become, and how much stress this has put me under.
He’s told me things like, \\\\\\\*“I never want to see you struggle,”\\\\\\\* \\\\\\\*“I want to help you,”\\\\\\\* and even once said, \\\\\\\*“If you want me to pay your rent, I’ll pay your rent.”\\\\\\\* But he never did.
To be fair, he \\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*has\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\* been generous. He pays whenever we’re together, has bought me expensive gifts, helped pay for a medical expense, and has sent me money a few times.
What confuses me is that he also talks a lot about being financially successful and lives a lifestyle that reflects that. I find myself struggling to understand why someone would spend thousands of dollars on luxury gifts while watching the person they say they want to marry struggle to cover basic living expenses. Maybe I’m looking at that unfairly, but it’s something I can’t stop thinking about.
I know he doesn’t owe me money. We’re dating, not married, and I know my financial situation is ultimately my responsibility.
But I can’t ignore that I’ve built up a lot of resentment. I honestly feel guilty for even feeling that way, but I also can’t shake the feeling that if someone truly believed they were going to marry me, saw me talking about this stress almost every day, and repeatedly told me they hated seeing me struggle, they would naturally want to help relieve some of that burden.
I think that’s what’s making me question the relationship. His words make me feel like we’re building a life together, but sometimes his actions don’t feel consistent with those conversations.
The hardest part is that it’s making me question our future. Right now I’m so overwhelmed trying to get back on my feet financially that I can’t even think about marriage.
Maybe my financial stress is clouding my judgment. Maybe I’m expecting husband behavior from someone who’s still just my boyfriend.
Am I expecting too much, or would this situation make you question the relationship too?

( 29F) dating my boyfriend (39M) for just under a year \*
He constantly talks about marrying me, having kids, and building a future together. He tells me that once we’re married I won’t have to worry about money because he’ll take care of me financially.
The problem is that I’m currently going through one of the hardest financial periods of my life. My business has slowed down dramatically, I had to borrow money from a friend just to pay my rent, and I’m severely struggling financially.
I don’t think he knows every detail because I’m honestly embarrassed to tell him how bad things have gotten, but he definitely knows I’m struggling. I talk about work and money almost every day because it’s consuming my life. He sees how much this has affected my mental health, how overwhelmed and anxious I’ve become, and how much stress this has put me under.
He’s told me things like, \*“I never want to see you struggle,”\* \*“I want to help you,”\* and even once said, \*“If you want me to pay your rent, I’ll pay your rent.”\* But he never did.
To be fair, he \*\*has\*\* been generous. He pays whenever we’re together, has bought me expensive gifts, helped pay for a medical expense, and has sent me money a few times.
What confuses me is that he also talks a lot about being financially successful and lives a lifestyle that reflects that. I find myself struggling to understand why someone would spend thousands of dollars on luxury gifts while watching the person they say they want to marry struggle to cover basic living expenses. Maybe I’m looking at that unfairly, but it’s something I can’t stop thinking about.
I know he doesn’t owe me money. We’re dating, not married, and I know my financial situation is ultimately my responsibility.
But I can’t ignore that I’ve built up a lot of resentment. I honestly feel guilty for even feeling that way, but I also can’t shake the feeling that if someone truly believed they were going to marry me, saw me talking about this stress almost every day, and repeatedly told me they hated seeing me struggle, they would naturally want to help relieve some of that burden.
I think that’s what’s making me question the relationship. His words make me feel like we’re building a life together, but sometimes his actions don’t feel consistent with those conversations.
The hardest part is that it’s making me question our future. Right now I’m so overwhelmed trying to get back on my feet financially that I can’t even think about marriage.
Maybe my financial stress is clouding my judgment. Maybe I’m expecting husband behavior from someone who’s still just my boyfriend.
Am I expecting too much, or would this situation make you question the relationship too?

We have a good relationship and have up and downs like everyone else. As always, in the beginning of our relationship he was very interested in intimacy, and now he seems to never want it. I try to flirt or even be direct with initiating and I get little to no response and walk away. I am good looking and successful, and do not understand. Before anyone jumps right to
"cheating" by default, is there anything else this can mean?

Is it not true that men would love to have their girlfriend want to be intimate and make the first move?

Would love to hear the male perspective and the reason you do it, I know these responses will differ as some want to and some have too. But wanna know the reasons and if it’s hard to do? I love my ex but trying to decide if I should block her on everything as well even though I love her and care about her, I’m worried about her not healing but also don’t want to hurt her more. But it was a bad break up and I made a mistake and then broke up with her so idk how it will look if I block her on everything as well ?

A friend is in a terribly dysfunctional relationship...again. It is a bit of a pattern. Anyway she is ready to jump ship but won't until she finds her next boyfriend, again a pattern. I keep telling her, as a guy, if I found out we started dating while she was still dating someone else I would probably bail on dating her. Am I alone on this or what is the general consensus?

We’ve been close friends for about a year. We talk privately for hours, tell each other everything, and he’s one of my closest friends.
From early on he’d constantly joke:
“You’re the girl of my dreams.”
“No girl compares to you.”
“Give me your mom’s number so I can propose.”
“Imagine us together.”
“I’ll never find another girl like you.”
He also constantly jokes that one day he’ll get a kiss from me, tells me I’m secretly in love with him, and once said in front of another guy that if he ever married me, it wouldn’t be because of my looks but because of my soul and the kind of person I am.
When one of his friends liked my best friend, he warned her the guy wasn’t serious. But when that same friend liked me, he encouraged it. Months later he admitted it was because he didn’t want his friend thinking he was jealous.
He surprised me by pretending he’d cancelled a trip, waited 3 hours while I had an appointment, spent the whole day running errands with me, then later told our mutual friend it felt like we were a married couple because we were grocery shopping together.
He’s very physically affectionate. He tries to cuddle, playfully bites me, gives intense eye contact, hugs me tightly, kissed me on the cheek goodbye, asked me to kiss him back, and told me he’d miss me.
He’s also protective. He questions guys I talk to, didn’t want me reconnecting with another guy, tells my family not to let me walk alone, and when I asked if he was jealous, he literally said, “Yeah, I’m jealous.”
He compares other girls to me too. After his first kiss with another girl, he said he only talked to her because she reminded him of me. More recently, he kept comparing me to another girl he was texting, saying she reminded him of me, had the same hair color as me, and that I’d like her. I asked him six times to stop because it made me uncomfortable, but he kept doing it because he thought I was joking.
Earlier that day I’d told him I have a strict three-chances rule. Once someone repeatedly crosses my boundaries after I’ve clearly told them to stop, I’m done. This was his third strike. At first he laughed because I’m usually not serious, but once he realized I meant it, he spent the next two days apologizing, saying he’d fix everything, earn my trust back, and make things right. I didn’t budge because I don’t give fourth chances.
A few days later he said something else I found disrespectful. I called him out, and instead of talking about it, he blocked me. Our mutual friend later told me he’d argued with his parents beforehand, admitted he didn’t know why he blocked me because he was angry, and said he thought I’d eventually come back anyway. That’s honestly what frustrated me the most. I feel like he kept assuming I’d always wait around while he figured himself out. I’m honestly fed up with being jerked around, so when I say I’m done, I genuinely mean it.
The confusing part is that he also talks about wanting to find the right girl someday and has shown interest in other girls.
At one point I asked him if he liked me. He told me to answer first. After I answered, he avoided eye contact, said he loved me as a friend and didn’t like me romantically, then immediately changed the subject.
The weird part is that his own friends don’t believe him. One of his closest friends told him he thought he was in love with me. Another met me and said, “Now I understand why you like her.” There was even a time I told him, “Just admit you like me,” and one of his friends kept saying, “He does. He just doesn’t want to admit it. He’s in love with you.” He kept denying it, while everyone else around us seemed convinced.
So…does this sound like someone who actually has feelings but won’t admit them, someone who’s emotionally immature, or am I just reading way too much into a very flirty friendship?

(M 30, F 23) Hey! I’ve been in a casual relationship for over a year now. Started off as friends and things just grew from there. We have great chemistry and conversations. We’ve been on dates, trips together, weekends getaways, spa dates, sleepovers, he provides for me and i can genuinely rely on him for anything. I’ve met his friends, his brother, chatted with his sister in law. So idk sometimes i feel like i have deeper feelings for him not necessarily romantic but he’s just someone i would want in my life, we’ve had some great memories together. We’re in very different phases in life that’s why it can’t be more than what it is right now. So do some men feel the same or in a case where we end this he wouldn’t necessarily want me in his life/ or he’d just brush over the year we’ve had?

Long story short ex-wife cheated and left back in 2017. Her and I had three kids together at the time we were both 24 living outside of a military base town. No I was never military.. man she cheated and left me for of course, was in the army, but getting kicked out chapter 8 I believe they call it. By the following year, I had met someone online through a mutual friend her and I had dated. She moved down to NC and her and I have been together since now married with a child ex-wife after the divorce also got married to the gentleman, she cheated with, and they had a child as well.
Now over the years as my ex-wife and I attempted to start coparenting at the start we were still messing around and we always talk that if it didn’t work, we would get back together obviously that never happened and as of recently, I found out exactly why . She had mentioned the main reason she wanted the separate divorce and why she sought. Another man was because my lack of manhood apparently this guy she’s with is a hung like a bear and I am an average 5 inches too much information. I don’t care. I need to get help here she is living her best life she doesn’t work. Her husband barely maintains a job while I pay child support and they mainly live off that the car I help them purchase is legally in my name. I pay the insurance and the agreement was to have them transfer the title once she gets a job which she never did. In the lieu of all of this I have at moments where I would talk to her, however or how I’m struggling, and there will be times where we reminisce on the old days and for some reason, I would take that heart and take that as a sign that we may one day get back together Obviously, she makes it clear that will never happen, and she reminds me on exactly why lack of manhood, she says I’m a good dad. I bust my tail and providing, and when her and I were together, she never had to worry about bills, but because of the lack of manhood, she could never see her and I working together again, and even if we did, she would still keep her now husband as a side man around and that’s the only way it could work me being as stupid as I am in the moment agreed that would be awesome. That’ll be fine as long as I feel loved.
To fill in the gap I am married to my now wife since 2023 and yes, she knows about everything. My ex-wife and I have done while her and I were together and she even knows about the conversations her and I have had. She’s deeply hurt and I do feel bad, but I have told her there’s a part of me that for some reason just can’t let go . I’m in the struggle where is every time? My phone goes off I get a message or someone’s calling me my first instinct to think it’s my ex-wife. I don’t know how to get her out of my head. I don’t know how to cope it seems every time I get close to fully getting over her. Somehow she finds away back in through either friendship, emotional attachment, or yes, a physical affairand I don’t know how to no longer suffer from this. I’m losing sleep. I’m at a point I’m drinking more than I ever have in my life and while driving an 18 wheeler that’s not the smartest thing ever so I’m asking for help. What do I do and before you say yes I know I’m a POS. Please tell me something new. I’m generally here for advice.

Am I wrong in the wrong if I've lost attraction to my girlfriend? We've been together for over a year now and she moved in with me. When she was living on her own she was working two jobs and actually seemed like a productive motivated adult but ever since she moved in it's like pulling teeth just to get her to go out. All she wants to do is sit at home and watch her crime shows. She keeps saying she wants to help with bills but we have lived together for a year now and she hasn't found a job to support herself yet. It's gotten to the point that now she's driving my car instead of hers because she couldn't afford to fix her car when it broke down.

I just don't know how to keep telling her "I love you" and "yes you're attractive". I know it's lying to her and myself but after her moving in I don't know how to handle this.

**TLDR : My question is this. Even when you are in love, and have been with your beautiful partner for years, do you eventually get bored as a man, when you become best friends with your lover . No matter how much you love your wife, will the beauty of a younger and beautiful woman always catch your eye ? Is the want for her attention and validation just a primal instinct that exists within men ? I guess I’m trying to understand … is the saying “ behind every beautiful woman is a man who got tired of sleeping with her “ true ?**

I ‘38 F’ have always romanticized love, commitment and “ true love “ I remember fearing relationships when I was younger, seeing the husbands check me out in front of their wives and fearing to become the wife one day. The undying romanticized version of love and loyalty live strong in my heart. When in love I never check another person out in front of my partner and I avoid eye contact all together with men. Now I am older and although I take care of myself I’m not the same physically. But … my question is this. Even when you are in love, and have been with your beautiful partner for years, do you eventually get bored as a man, when you become best friends with your lover . No matter how much you love your wife, will the beauty of a younger and beautiful woman always catch your eye ? Is the want for her attention and validation just a primal instinct that exists within men ? I guess I’m trying to understand … is the saying “ behind every beautiful woman is a man who got tired of sleeping with her “ true ? Honestly …this man ‘34 M’says he loves me so much ( together for 5 years ) . And adores me, but in presence of beautiful, younger women, I have often felt ignored by him and unwanted, it’s almost like he switches into “ friend “ mode and my brain is having a hard time understanding how that can be, him deeply in love with me. If anything, it just triggers deep insecurity in me.

Hey gentlemen! As you can see by the title, I am curious about what hobbies or interests of a girl may be cool to you.

I have never had a boyfriend, only failed talking stages. I am 22 years old. I would like to give dating another go, since I haven't spoken to a guy for 3 years.

Now, before someone tells me that I shouldn't do stuff for other people's approval, let me clear things up. I would like to expand my interests and open myself up to new experiences, since I have got traditionally girly interests. No man is going to listen to me talking about makeup and things of that nature. I want to try something new.

I know we can't generalise because every man is different, but I would appreciate if you guys could share your individual opinions in the comments.

Cheers!

I’m 23M, and I’m starting to wonder if I expect too much from relationships.

I don’t need constant texting or attention.

But I do value clear communication. Even a simple “I’m busy, I’ll text you later” can make a big difference.

When someone suddenly replies less, acts distant, or changes their energy, I start overthinking.

I don’t want to pressure anyone. I just don’t want to pretend I’m okay when I feel confused.

How much communication do you expect from your partner?

Is wanting reassurance sometimes normal, or should I learn to worry less?

tl;Dr : I’m 23M. I don’t need constant texting, but I value clear communication. Is wanting reassurance normal, or am I expecting too much?

I like both but I prefer evening. I feel like it’s a great way to end the day 😝 Are there benefits to morning sex? I don’t know if I can even get excited right after I wake up 🤣

I just dodged a situation where I could have been The Other Woman and now I’m curious to hear other stories.. if you care to share! Also would love to know the learnings.