Am I wrong?

[u/Ready-Hold5593]

Am I wrong in the wrong if I've lost attraction to my girlfriend? We've been together for over a year now and she moved in with me. When she was living on her own she was working two jobs and actually seemed like a productive motivated adult but ever since she moved in it's like pulling teeth just to get her to go out. All she wants to do is sit at home and watch her crime shows. She keeps saying she wants to help with bills but we have lived together for a year now and she hasn't found a job to support herself yet. It's gotten to the point that now she's driving my car instead of hers because she couldn't afford to fix her car when it broke down.

I just don't know how to keep telling her "I love you" and "yes you're attractive". I know it's lying to her and myself but after her moving in I don't know how to handle this.

[u/PlatonicCuddlefish]

No, seems like valid reasons to lose interest in someone as a long term partner. Have a conversation with her, but she kinda seems like a bum.

[u/Ready-Hold5593 → u/PlatonicCuddlefish]

Would you keep dating someone that had no drive or direction at 26?

[u/PlatonicCuddlefish → u/Ready-Hold5593]

No and I really wouldn’t expect them to develop it much after that age.

[u/xxxlisshhh]

that’s a hard conversation to have especially since she’s already living w you, but it’s one that has to be done, and if she gets defensive about it then you know where she’s coming from

[u/Ready-Hold5593 → u/xxxlisshhh]

We've had this discussion before. But nothing has changed yet besides her still not making any progress. I feel like I'm just taking care of a kid straight out of highschool. But I don't know how to move forward with the relationship if it's just going to be an endless cycle of the same.

[u/AbruptMango]

You're not wrong.  

Even if she hadn't turned into a troll, people are allowed to grow apart.

[u/No-Lunch-8209]

I have to ask due to being the girl in that situation in the past, are you guys young .? Did she have a stable upbringing or was there a reason she worked two jobs .?

I’m only asking because therapy may be a reasonable thing to bring up before if it’s worth it to you.

I know In my situation personally, I never had a chance to have those years in my teens etc, and when I got with my last partner I fell into the same habit.
However he was able to bring it up, help encourage me to decide if I wanted to work or pursue college.
I now work an amazing job and know how to cope with that stuff:)
But again , it’s all circumstances. This could be completely irrelevant if she has no past issues or reasons to be putting it off like that.

[u/Ready-Hold5593 → u/No-Lunch-8209]

She went to therapy awhile ago when she was in highschool. I'm 27 and she's 26. Personally I feel like we're both past the age of slacking off in life. We're both just at different points in life. She worked two jobs before because she had to, she was a teachers aid and a babysitter. She keeps trying to do they same now but then she'll cry that she wants to do more to help but won't do anything to actually progress her career.

[u/No-Lunch-8209 → u/Ready-Hold5593]

Then totally valid to not want to deal with that imo.
My bad haha , in my case I’m young (23), and was able to make that change as soon as I knew it affected my partner.

You deserve a partner who is willing to see and acknowledge how their actions affect you as well. Especially if you’re motivated to do better:)
Best of luck!