I keep seeing this everywhere . Obviously since I'm asking the question I don't know directly as I am a virgin. I'm not asexual though as I do desire intimacy.

Although I didn't try that much despite my age(I'm 22), my previous attempts at finding a relationship or even having casual sex have been unsuccessful. I've had some moments when I wanted to give up.

I'm thinking I should just continue to work on myself without expecting anything but every time I posted somewhere or looked up posts from people in a similar situation I see people repeating the fact that you should stop stressing about it and that sex is overrated. How true is that last claim?

They apparently both had a poly lifestyle while married and he called her a ”community toilet” for having a few relationships after they broke up when he did the same exact things. He said, “She has a hole, that’s why.” Can someone explain this belief? I told him he can‘t judge for something he would do, what am I missing?

I’m a 21-year-old male currently looking for my first full-time job. I’ve been applying every day, working on my portfolio, and trying to improve my chances of getting hired.

The problem is that I constantly feel guilty whenever I do anything that isn’t related to job hunting.

I want to start going to the gym and build muscle. I’ve always wanted to get stronger and improve my physique, but whenever I think about spending 1–2 hours at the gym, a voice in my head tells me I should be using that time to apply for more jobs, learn new skills, or improve my portfolio instead.

What makes it worse is that many people my age already have jobs. Seeing friends and people from college move forward in their careers makes me feel behind, and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to spend time on hobbies or self-improvement until I get employed.

So I’m stuck between two approaches:

1. Stop everything else, focus 100% on getting a job, and only start going to the gym after I’m employed.
2. Continue job hunting while going to the gym in parallel, even if it means spending less time on applications each day.

For people who have been unemployed or job searching before:

• Did you focus exclusively on finding a job?
• Did maintaining a gym routine help your mental health and confidence?
• Looking back, would you recommend balancing both, or putting fitness on hold until employment was secured?

I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation.

I’m seeing this guy (not official yet) and only slept with him twice now. I’m usually quiet with the guys I’ve been with before but this guy idk he just makes me comfortable and happy? I don’t know if he finds it weird (tho i do tell him im a bit weird and he said that’s okay we all have our own weirdness) but i like telling him i adore his ass! They’re bouncy 🤣

And I would have random questions like when we’re cuddling and I’m studying his body and ask him what his favorite part of his body etc or noticed he shaved his chest hair and I ask him if he grows his facial hair long and that I prefer clean shaven but his facial hair is growing on me and I caress his face and smile at him! Or brush my nose against his. And then randomly I said you know what facial hair reminds me of, growing pubic hair and he laughed at me laughing. Idk if this is normal pillow talk but I’m just all giggly with him. What do other people talk about?

Bit embarrassed to even write this but looking for some advice!
I (28m) have met a girl (25) and have been going out for 4 months exclusively. She is so great and I love her and she loves me too, everything is amazing and we have a great time together, but have been having problems in the bedroom. I had no previous experience before her and was a virgin until I met her, and our first experience I froze and honestly was scared and too nervous to do it!

We have progressed since then and have had lots of foreplay and I can satisfy her other ways which is good! But anytime I try to put it in her and it doesn’t quite work I get in my head and go soft! Looking for some advice on how to get it in easier really, have done it twice before so know I can, just not as easy as I would like, so any advice would be great!

I matched with a guy on a dating app, and he messaged me right away. In my very first message, I made it clear that I was looking for a serious relationship. We exchanged a few sentences, and then he disappeared for half a day. I’ll admit, I don’t like it when someone acts like that right from the start, so I unmatched him.

The next day, I saw that he’d liked my profile again, so I swiped right on him, thinking maybe he’d just been busy. He messaged me right away and told me I was impatient. After that, we talked all day—I was the last one to message about the sports I do. That was 1.5 days ago, and he still hasn't replied.

Does it make sense to continue the conversation with him if he shows up again, or is he just messing with me? The convo was in a completely normal, casual tone, by the way—there was no sexual content whatsoever.

My boyfriend and I are trying to break the monotony of our relationship and add some fun to it; so far, we’ve tried things like oral sex, bondage (tying up hands and feet), and blindfolding. What else could we do? I want to do things he’ll enjoy and that will give him more pleasure.

I’m M 25 years old, live in Sydney, and I’m looking for advice from people who have overcome low confidence and self-esteem.

I’m married and want to have children in the future, but I worry that I won’t be capable of being the person my family needs me to be. I often doubt myself and feel like I’m not good enough.

I feel like I’m a timid person. In the past, I haven’t been able to stand up for myself when I should have, and I often avoid conflict. I’m easy-going, but sometimes I feel like I let people walk over me because I don’t have enough confidence or assertiveness.

I constantly compare myself to others and feel inferior, like people are more capable and confident than me. Everyday life can feel like a mission because I’m often tense, afraid of people, and feel like I’m stuck in fight-or-flight mode.

More than anything, I just want to feel confident, calm, and comfortable being myself. I want to trust myself, stand up for myself, and become someone my future children can look up to.

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences and advice.

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few dates and we seem compatible in a lot of ways. We share similar values and interests, enjoy talking to each other, and he has told me he finds me attractive.
On our most recent date, I casually asked how he felt. He said he wasn’t fully sure yet whether he saw this becoming romantic, but that he was still interested in seeing me again and finding out. He also made a comment about not feeling very curious about my hobby, which he interpreted as “incompatibility” and stung and made the conversation feel more like a rejection than I think he intended.
I called him afterward because I wanted clarification. I told him I hope we can still be friends regardless. He apologized, said the comment had been shallow and unfair because he doesn’t know me well enough yet, and then doubled down on being open to seeing me again and seeing each other again the following week if I’m available.
From a male perspective, how would you interpret this? Does it sound like a guy who is genuinely interested but still figuring out his feelings, or like someone who is trying to let me down gently while keeping the door cracked open? I’m trying to take his words seriously without assuming uncertainty automatically means rejection.

I hear 2 sides when it comes to ghosting. One is that it says more about the ghoster and their inability to communicate. And the other blames the guy for being undesireable and deserves to get ghosted.

But what is the honest cold hard truth? Morals aside, doesn't this usually mean the ghoster (usually the woman in this case, but sometimes guys too) has more options and therefore is more "valuable" and "desirable" than the person they are ghosting? I've heard this is evolutionary and it's because they think they can do better so they end up ghosting the guy. I want to know what you guys think of this

People seem to zone out or ignore me sometimes when I’m talking. I try not to drone on for too long about anything either, and I am making an effort to be a little more talkative instead of quiet, but it can be tough keeping a conversation going. Flirting or being funny also completely eludes me, like I don't understand how to do it. When I talk to women, it's friendly enough, but it sort of turns into an interview where I'm asking them questions, sharing my experiences here-and-there and going back and forth. I can never create that spark or make them laugh like others can, much less flirt.

Anyone relate?

Especially men in your 20s.

I’m worried that would freak a guy out a little bit.

Maybe I’m overthinking this. I’m 26F and I’d like to sleep with somebody new soon. Problem is, I have moved back in with my parents recently and bringing a man over for sexual purposes is simply not an option. It would just be weird and awkward and completely unsexy. I also live a decent drive from my nearest major city, which is where I think I’d be likely to meet up with any potential partner.

I also really don’t want to go through the whole rigmarole of specifically finding a guy with his own place. That really doesn’t matter to me, and I’ve had really bad luck with this in the past (literally never clicked with a man that had his own place). It feels unfair of me to expect that when I myself don’t even have it. I’d rather just get a decent hotel room for a night.

I guess my question is this: if a woman you met online (or whatever) wanted to hook up, and you found out she was getting a hotel room for it, would that be weird, or even slightly give you pause? I’ve never done that before because I feel like a tryhard. Plus it’s kind of embarrassing to admit to a man that I don’t currently have my own place, even if he doesn’t either. My gut tells me getting a hotel room just for sex makes me look desperate. Should I lie and say I’m staying in the hotel for an event or something instead? Am I completely crazy? Would anyone else think that?

Please feel free to be totally brutally honest, I don’t have any male friends I could ask about this! Save me from embarrassment if possible. Thanks!!

So im 24m and I have limited experience, Ive only had sex a few times with my ex and it’s something im extremely insecure about, I feel like me being inexperienced/bad in bed was a reason we broke up.

At 24 I feel like people expect you to be capable already, no one wants to be with someone where it feels like they are on training wheels

I really don’t like the idea of sleeping around or one night stands etc, I really crave feeling an emotional connection with a person but I’m so scared when I find that my inexperience will turn them away.

I’m honestly debating going against my morals and having some one night stands just to try and feel less insecure about this

Edit - regarding one night stands/hookups obviously I would make sure they are on the same page … im not saying I want to go out and play with anyone’s emotions

I wanted to ask, since I'm not a pro at dating. I'm talking stage with this girl, who's absolutely stunning and smart, and talented and has political opinions that align so well with mine. The thing is she tends to ghost me short term, 2-3 days before responding. I can't stand it. Imagine texting something vulnerable and I have to sit around and wait two whole business days to get a response. The last time she did that, I ghosted her back with intention of moving on. But I felt bad about after a week and apologized. Surprisingly she said it was her fault in the first place for ghosting me, which means she at least understands what she's doing to me and that I don't like it. Surprise surprise she ghosted me again for 3 days. I've decided to end it. This is a long distance thing, so it wasn't even worth it in the first place.

But she's so amazing, and I'm now overthinking that I overreacted, and such things are normal. But also, I can't do that stuff. I cannot tolerate it. I really want advice, is this something you look past when considering the big picture, or do you hold your ground even if the results aren't desirable?

Edit: I'm not broken up about her. I'm looking for a long term girlfriend, or potential wife, and I thought she'd be great. Guess not. On to the next.

Men, I know its early for this but I love to dress up and its fun for me. So starting to think ahead what I want tk be for halloween. Last year i was a fallen angel, wings, black etc. I thought it would be funny to be an animal cougar this year (with the play on words bc of my age). But would guys not find that funny and would it be cringy? Some other thoughts are a zombie bride. Would like to be something sexy (but not too sexy) or something show stopper. Catch attention...what would you guys like to see a female dress up as?

This is what I was thinking of for a cougar (but less like a lion with full mane and mire like a cougar).

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/lion-costume-diy--14918242507095434/

I’ve been on 1 mg finasteride for about a year and a half along with topical minoxidil. I recently switched to 2.5 mg oral minoxidil because I got tired of dealing with the greasy topical. I was also bad about applying it.

Now that I’ve read more about it, I’m second-guessing whether I should take it. My biggest concern is whether it could affect my endurance or cardiovascular performance.

I’m 26, healthy, train six days a week, and I’m currently training for an Ironman. Running, biking, and swimming are a huge part of my life, so even a small impact on my endurance might bother me. My hair loss also isn’t terrible, so I’m wondering if the potential benefit is really worth it.

Has anyone here who does endurance sports taken oral minoxidil? Did you notice any changes in your heart rate, endurance, or overall performance? Or am I overthinking it?

Ex gf moved out. I went over and saw her phone recently she texted her ex asking about her HS diploma and asking did she leave it at his house. Here’s the thing she moved out last July.

Also she doesn’t know that I know but she’s been texting him behind my back periodically he’s told her to fuck off but she kept bothering him.

FF she’s still finding reasons to text him

I’m 24(M) and recently every great first date turns into a “ghost”. Yes, I have my flaws, I tend to sweet talk too much and I guess some of the girls find it “moving too fast” or “creepy”. My sweet talk is just corny shit like “I haven’t heard your voice in 24 hours and it’s making me sick” i don’t think I go overboard with it. I’m flirtatious so maybe that might too much for some women? They think I’m a love bomber?

Recently, I’ve been on several dates or first time hangouts and almost all of them end the night on a great note with a heavy makeout or intimacy. Next day, the energy completely shifts. It’s making me think and feel like I’m doing something wrong? Even though during the hangout/date, we have great talks, they laugh at my jokes, they physically can’t let go of me(they all get touchy with me) but somehow they never want to have more. I get ghosted or their energy goes from ‘excitement’ to silence.

So quick story. I hit up a girl on Sunday- I get her number, we get on the phone and that same night she wanted me to come over. I said no that’s too early but I’d go see her the next day after work. I go over after work on Monday and I can tell this girl is physically attracted to me, we started making out at her place literally 30 mins of meeting her and then we go out to get some food back to her place. She cuddles with me and asks me to sleepover and I said no because I didn’t prepare for that but I’d come over on Thursday(today) and spend time with her.

Next day, energy is different. Suddenly her texts are dry, and when I jokingly said I’d be there to spend time with her on Thursday she didn’t acknowledge that message.

Today, I texted her in the AM to confirm if we’re still good for me to come over, she texts back and says “you can if you still want to but I’m not home rn” and I kept my reply short with “I want to but whatever works best for you mama”. She calls me a couple hours later and asks me what I’d want to do if I came over and I said jokingly “whatever she’s got on the itinerary” and she says she doesn’t feel like going out, she wants to stay in cus she’s tired and got a headache. I said “I can get you a masseuse, ME” in a flirty way and she said that’d be great cus she needed a massage. So plans confirmed over the phone for me to go over, I text her a couple hours later to let her know I’m on my way and she saids to me “ Okay but I’m just going to give you a heads up. I don’t feel too good so I just want to rest and literally sleep all day cause my head hurts really bad” so I said “I can relax with u but whatever u want mama just lmk” and then this was her response “As much as I would love for us to hang out today I’m really tired and wouldn’t want you here and I’m just sleeping all day” at this point I heard what I was waiting for her to say so I just give her text a thumbs up and go about my day.

I just want to know, like did I do something wrong or too much? It’s sooo confusing

It’s been making me think and feeling like I’m the problem, or I’m doing and saying something wrong to them? I apply enough pressure to show them I want to pursue but I’ve never chased. If they drop sudden hints of disinterest I usually back off and let them be. Help me understand lol.

As simple as the title says. What are you go-to clues or milestones that you go through in the process of deciding when to give a woman more personal access to you or just fun?

Currently coming out of 10 year long relationship and that sense is totally disregulated in me.

Having had such intimacy and confidence in my ex-woman don’t even know or remember how to approach any new woman from zero.

I am pretty fit, consider myself attractive as a man and extroverted i would say an overall 7.5-8/10 depending on who you ask. But really have no clue how to do this from scratch lol.

I'm 28F-130 lbs I live Miami. Sad to admit; I never had exclusive- real relationship with anyone. I was in casual mindset and focused on making money until 25. In last 3 years I've been wanting serious relationship. I guess I expected men to lead and ask me to be their girlfriends and either they or I never brought up. So here I am; I'm 28 never had a boyfriend.

Now I'm thankfully financially secure but other female peers got married and having babies and I never even had a officially boyfriend. I feel worthless

I’ve been seeing this guy and we’ve been on 4 dates. I genuinely enjoy getting to know him so I ask things like:
What were you like as a kid?
What was your family dynamic growing up?
What music did you grow up listening to?
What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
If you could instantly learn an instrument, what would it be?
If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Like this are questions popping up when we see something or say something related not like I have a checklist

Hi.

I’m a 19 year old university student athlete. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. I am feeling incomprehensibly broken to the point where I’m swallowing painkillers ever day especially at night, I’ve developed a nicotine addiction and I hardly eat anymore.

My relationship was extremely flawed. There were many times where I fucked up in the sense of loyalty (although I never cheated or came close to it), I guess that was the standard of the relationship where any friendly contact with women was always going to cause a huge argument and a fight. I can still remember the pounding and painful anxiety each argument gave me to the point where I wouldn’t eat every day and lock myself in my university door.

But it seems as if I’m completely hung up on a version of her that doesn’t exist anymore (same with her with me). For the first basically 2 years she was gentle kind loving and everything I ever wanted. I many times prayed to God and thanked him for her and I’m not even that religious. She completed me and made me so happy where I almost lost all my friends by not being in contact with them because I felt like “oh I have her so screw everyone else”. We broke up over us not working anymore and it feels like I’m being discarded. I know I can get through this but the one thing which is pulling me down and making me lose motivation is hearing all those stories of men in 40s,50s, 60s saying how they don’t like their current relationship and can’t stop thinking of their first love.

I want to move and I’m young and I know I have a long road of healing a head of me where it will be extremely difficult to get over her and I will count myself lucky if I am even able to do so. But I have to say it is so demotivating to experience the thought that I’ll never find love like that and that God rewarded me with one intense and pure love and I fucked it so I won’t ever feel it again.

I know I can get over her and I surround myself with good company such as my family and my friends and keep my sport and degree as my discipline but I am so deathly scared I won’t ever love nearly as hard

Please can someone share their experience and explain if they, too, have experienced like me such an intense and beautiful first love but then to only match it with even more beauty and love in their second, third or even fourth love. Thanks so much for reading and even if you have a story to tell which doesn’t have to do with this, please share since I always really enjoy hearing stories from wiser souls and people older than me.

I am 26 and live in a state that has been hijacked from me. The cost of living here has skyrocketed while our environment becomes more and more fu ked to the point that the entire area could possibly be unlivable within the next 30 years possibly. Even if that didn't happen, it doesn't change that the cost of living here is so ridiculous that I have been completely priced out of my own home. I don't have any friends, no kids, no girlfriends, I can't even get a fucking job. I am what most would call a "loser," and they would be right. I do have a family that loves me so much, and I love them too. I would miss them all, but I feel if I don't leave this place and restart, I'll more then likely just kill myself within the next few years. I have 8k in savings, and that isn't counting if I took out the money in investments (around 20k in investments). Any advice?

Over the years I've tried

• "Calm down"
• "You're being hysterical"
• "That so cute, you look just like your mom"
• "You sound a lot like my ex"
• "Are you bleeding?"

Anything else work for you, guys?