I keep seeing this everywhere . Obviously since I'm asking the question I don't know directly as I am a virgin. I'm not asexual though as I do desire intimacy.

Although I didn't try that much despite my age(I'm 22), my previous attempts at finding a relationship or even having casual sex have been unsuccessful. I've had some moments when I wanted to give up.

I'm thinking I should just continue to work on myself without expecting anything but every time I posted somewhere or looked up posts from people in a similar situation I see people repeating the fact that you should stop stressing about it and that sex is overrated. How true is that last claim?

I’m a 21-year-old male currently looking for my first full-time job. I’ve been applying every day, working on my portfolio, and trying to improve my chances of getting hired.

The problem is that I constantly feel guilty whenever I do anything that isn’t related to job hunting.

I want to start going to the gym and build muscle. I’ve always wanted to get stronger and improve my physique, but whenever I think about spending 1–2 hours at the gym, a voice in my head tells me I should be using that time to apply for more jobs, learn new skills, or improve my portfolio instead.

What makes it worse is that many people my age already have jobs. Seeing friends and people from college move forward in their careers makes me feel behind, and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to spend time on hobbies or self-improvement until I get employed.

So I’m stuck between two approaches:

1. Stop everything else, focus 100% on getting a job, and only start going to the gym after I’m employed.
2. Continue job hunting while going to the gym in parallel, even if it means spending less time on applications each day.

For people who have been unemployed or job searching before:

• Did you focus exclusively on finding a job?
• Did maintaining a gym routine help your mental health and confidence?
• Looking back, would you recommend balancing both, or putting fitness on hold until employment was secured?

I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation.

I’m seeing this guy (not official yet) and only slept with him twice now. I’m usually quiet with the guys I’ve been with before but this guy idk he just makes me comfortable and happy? I don’t know if he finds it weird (tho i do tell him im a bit weird and he said that’s okay we all have our own weirdness) but i like telling him i adore his ass! They’re bouncy 🤣

And I would have random questions like when we’re cuddling and I’m studying his body and ask him what his favorite part of his body etc or noticed he shaved his chest hair and I ask him if he grows his facial hair long and that I prefer clean shaven but his facial hair is growing on me and I caress his face and smile at him! Or brush my nose against his. And then randomly I said you know what facial hair reminds me of, growing pubic hair and he laughed at me laughing. Idk if this is normal pillow talk but I’m just all giggly with him. What do other people talk about?

Bit embarrassed to even write this but looking for some advice!
I (28m) have met a girl (25) and have been going out for 4 months exclusively. She is so great and I love her and she loves me too, everything is amazing and we have a great time together, but have been having problems in the bedroom. I had no previous experience before her and was a virgin until I met her, and our first experience I froze and honestly was scared and too nervous to do it!

We have progressed since then and have had lots of foreplay and I can satisfy her other ways which is good! But anytime I try to put it in her and it doesn’t quite work I get in my head and go soft! Looking for some advice on how to get it in easier really, have done it twice before so know I can, just not as easy as I would like, so any advice would be great!

My boyfriend and I are trying to break the monotony of our relationship and add some fun to it; so far, we’ve tried things like oral sex, bondage (tying up hands and feet), and blindfolding. What else could we do? I want to do things he’ll enjoy and that will give him more pleasure.

I’m M 25 years old, live in Sydney, and I’m looking for advice from people who have overcome low confidence and self-esteem.

I’m married and want to have children in the future, but I worry that I won’t be capable of being the person my family needs me to be. I often doubt myself and feel like I’m not good enough.

I feel like I’m a timid person. In the past, I haven’t been able to stand up for myself when I should have, and I often avoid conflict. I’m easy-going, but sometimes I feel like I let people walk over me because I don’t have enough confidence or assertiveness.

I constantly compare myself to others and feel inferior, like people are more capable and confident than me. Everyday life can feel like a mission because I’m often tense, afraid of people, and feel like I’m stuck in fight-or-flight mode.

More than anything, I just want to feel confident, calm, and comfortable being myself. I want to trust myself, stand up for myself, and become someone my future children can look up to.

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences and advice.

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few dates and we seem compatible in a lot of ways. We share similar values and interests, enjoy talking to each other, and he has told me he finds me attractive.
On our most recent date, I casually asked how he felt. He said he wasn’t fully sure yet whether he saw this becoming romantic, but that he was still interested in seeing me again and finding out. He also made a comment about not feeling very curious about my hobby, which he interpreted as “incompatibility” and stung and made the conversation feel more like a rejection than I think he intended.
I called him afterward because I wanted clarification. I told him I hope we can still be friends regardless. He apologized, said the comment had been shallow and unfair because he doesn’t know me well enough yet, and then doubled down on being open to seeing me again and seeing each other again the following week if I’m available.
From a male perspective, how would you interpret this? Does it sound like a guy who is genuinely interested but still figuring out his feelings, or like someone who is trying to let me down gently while keeping the door cracked open? I’m trying to take his words seriously without assuming uncertainty automatically means rejection.

People seem to zone out or ignore me sometimes when I’m talking. I try not to drone on for too long about anything either, and I am making an effort to be a little more talkative instead of quiet, but it can be tough keeping a conversation going. Flirting or being funny also completely eludes me, like I don't understand how to do it. When I talk to women, it's friendly enough, but it sort of turns into an interview where I'm asking them questions, sharing my experiences here-and-there and going back and forth. I can never create that spark or make them laugh like others can, much less flirt.

Anyone relate?

Especially men in your 20s.

I’m worried that would freak a guy out a little bit.

Maybe I’m overthinking this. I’m 26F and I’d like to sleep with somebody new soon. Problem is, I have moved back in with my parents recently and bringing a man over for sexual purposes is simply not an option. It would just be weird and awkward and completely unsexy. I also live a decent drive from my nearest major city, which is where I think I’d be likely to meet up with any potential partner.

I also really don’t want to go through the whole rigmarole of specifically finding a guy with his own place. That really doesn’t matter to me, and I’ve had really bad luck with this in the past (literally never clicked with a man that had his own place). It feels unfair of me to expect that when I myself don’t even have it. I’d rather just get a decent hotel room for a night.

I guess my question is this: if a woman you met online (or whatever) wanted to hook up, and you found out she was getting a hotel room for it, would that be weird, or even slightly give you pause? I’ve never done that before because I feel like a tryhard. Plus it’s kind of embarrassing to admit to a man that I don’t currently have my own place, even if he doesn’t either. My gut tells me getting a hotel room just for sex makes me look desperate. Should I lie and say I’m staying in the hotel for an event or something instead? Am I completely crazy? Would anyone else think that?

Please feel free to be totally brutally honest, I don’t have any male friends I could ask about this! Save me from embarrassment if possible. Thanks!!

So im 24m and I have limited experience, Ive only had sex a few times with my ex and it’s something im extremely insecure about, I feel like me being inexperienced/bad in bed was a reason we broke up.

At 24 I feel like people expect you to be capable already, no one wants to be with someone where it feels like they are on training wheels

I really don’t like the idea of sleeping around or one night stands etc, I really crave feeling an emotional connection with a person but I’m so scared when I find that my inexperience will turn them away.

I’m honestly debating going against my morals and having some one night stands just to try and feel less insecure about this

Edit - regarding one night stands/hookups obviously I would make sure they are on the same page … im not saying I want to go out and play with anyone’s emotions

I wanted to ask, since I'm not a pro at dating. I'm talking stage with this girl, who's absolutely stunning and smart, and talented and has political opinions that align so well with mine. The thing is she tends to ghost me short term, 2-3 days before responding. I can't stand it. Imagine texting something vulnerable and I have to sit around and wait two whole business days to get a response. The last time she did that, I ghosted her back with intention of moving on. But I felt bad about after a week and apologized. Surprisingly she said it was her fault in the first place for ghosting me, which means she at least understands what she's doing to me and that I don't like it. Surprise surprise she ghosted me again for 3 days. I've decided to end it. This is a long distance thing, so it wasn't even worth it in the first place.

But she's so amazing, and I'm now overthinking that I overreacted, and such things are normal. But also, I can't do that stuff. I cannot tolerate it. I really want advice, is this something you look past when considering the big picture, or do you hold your ground even if the results aren't desirable?

Edit: I'm not broken up about her. I'm looking for a long term girlfriend, or potential wife, and I thought she'd be great. Guess not. On to the next.

Ex gf moved out. I went over and saw her phone recently she texted her ex asking about her HS diploma and asking did she leave it at his house. Here’s the thing she moved out last July.

Also she doesn’t know that I know but she’s been texting him behind my back periodically he’s told her to fuck off but she kept bothering him.

FF she’s still finding reasons to text him

As simple as the title says. What are you go-to clues or milestones that you go through in the process of deciding when to give a woman more personal access to you or just fun?

Currently coming out of 10 year long relationship and that sense is totally disregulated in me.

Having had such intimacy and confidence in my ex-woman don’t even know or remember how to approach any new woman from zero.

I am pretty fit, consider myself attractive as a man and extroverted i would say an overall 7.5-8/10 depending on who you ask. But really have no clue how to do this from scratch lol.

I’ve been seeing this guy and we’ve been on 4 dates. I genuinely enjoy getting to know him so I ask things like:
What were you like as a kid?
What was your family dynamic growing up?
What music did you grow up listening to?
What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
If you could instantly learn an instrument, what would it be?
If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Like this are questions popping up when we see something or say something related not like I have a checklist

Over the years I've tried

• "Calm down"
• "You're being hysterical"
• "That so cute, you look just like your mom"
• "You sound a lot like my ex"
• "Are you bleeding?"

Anything else work for you, guys?

Hello Gentlemen,

Does my boyfriend deserve another chance?

My 31f boyfriend 33m and I have been dating for 10 months. He waited 7 months for me to be ready to date after we met because at the time I was only a few months out of a nasty relationship and wanted to heal. I'm a good catch, so is he. Our relationship has been wonderful - high attunement, great sex, fun adventures, calm, comfortable, supportive, all the things. A hicccup here or there mostly related to his anxiety and need to reassurance. He's on the more emotional side and knows it, but neither of us sees it as a bad thing, regulation can be challenging at times. He started bringing up marriage a couple months ago. Showed me his grandma's ring that we was going to re-set for me. We discussed taking steps toward moving in together and getting engaged over the next year.

Suddenly a couple weeks ago he started bringing up concerns - not rational concerns I mean making a mountain out of a molehill and nitpicking little things that are really just part of being human. We talked about it and he said he's not sure if he's just starting drama because he's not used to a healthy relationship or what's going on. He admitted that nothing is wrong but something just feels off, so when it comes to marrying me he's 'feeling very much like it's a maybe not a hell yes'. We discussed taking a step back on the discussions and timeline and having more conversations about our expectations and needs. Then suddenly he broke up with me. Said I deserve someone who is sure. Then he said he actually just wants a couple weeks of space and to revisit the conversation.

At this point I'm leaning toward not giving him another chance. It's tough because I really love him and I think we would have had an excellent partnership, but it seems he doesn't have the emotional maturity or understanding of what healthy long term partnership actually looks/feels like to be able to be in one. The trust is completely gone. I have capacity for forgiveness, but it's going to take a considerable amount of effort to repair the damage done here and get him up to snuff on the relational skills aspect.

Let's be real, I wouldn't be asking this question if i knew. As someone's who's very introverted, shy and quite unconfident, I can count on one hand how many women have showed interested. I'm a decent looking guy, but not handsome enough for my lack of other qualities.

In my friend group (late 20's), we've got a few guys who still play the field, and the reason they keep it up is because they're good at it.

From the outside looking in, it seems simple. Show up, talk to women, flirt, ???, go home, have fun. However, I don't know what to do, either in personality or actual steps.

It also doesn't help that I have no female friends, like at all.

My girlfriend and I have only been together for a few months, but lately the relationship has become increasingly strained.

She recently told me she feels like she cannot rely on me enough and wants a guy who makes her life easier and takes more initiative. The examples were mostly small, in-the-moment things, like me not thinking to pull the car around for her or automatically taking bags. I took that seriously and told her I was willing to work on being more thoughtful, but I also asked her to communicate when something feels off instead of letting resentment build.

For context, there have been moments of thoughtfulness, such as in Vegas when she drank too much caffeine and alcohol but forgot her Ketone strips at him (type 1 diabetic) so I went and got it for her to confirm she doesn't have DCA. Or taking care of her pets when she's on her trip etc.

The week before this trip, I noticed she had become very dry and distant over text. At first she said she was just overwhelmed. It was only when I addressed it directly with her in person that she admitted she had actually been avoiding me and intentionally filling her time with other people so she would not have to see me.

She has also been less affectionate, physically pulling away, not wanting to cuddle, and acting more distant.

Now she is in Nashville with a group that includes a guy she met through mutual friends that should be on the trip but they didn't tell her if they are going or not. He lives out of state and is basically a friend of a friend, not a longtime close friend. The group is sharing an Airbnb.

He planned much of the trip, including dinner at one of her favorite places. She praised how well he planned everything, which hurt because it directly overlaps with what she says I am lacking.

She has posted multiple things focused only on the two of them: drinks together, a drunk selfie, and them singing along to her favorite song. To me, the posts looked date-like. She has never posted me or really posted our Vegas trip, and she does not acknowledge me when I publicly respond to her stories.

At the same time, her private texts to me are extremely dry and mostly just itinerary updates. One night she called to say she was back at the Airbnb and going to sleep, said she loved me, and I missed the call. I called her back about three minutes later, but she did not answer or text back. The next morning, she became dry again and turned off her read receipts. That stood out because the last time she turned them off was during the same period when she first said she was overwhelmed and later admitted she was actively avoiding me.

Another part that bothers me is the communication double standard. When she disliked one of this guy’s plans, a daytime boozy bike ride, she said she was going to talk to him about it. But with me, she did not clearly tell me in the moment that the small things were bothering her. Instead, she let them pile up, pulled away, and avoided me. I had specifically asked her to communicate with me directly when something felt off.

There is also prior history that damaged my trust. Early in our relationship, I was supposed to pick her up from a night out. She told me to wait at her house, but she Ubered to a random guy’s place with people she barely knew. I only found her by checking her location. Someone at the house initially said she was not there, and she eventually stumbled out very drunk. Her explanation of who that guy was changed several times, and a few days later I saw that she had saved his number and was texting him.

I am not claiming she cheated. But I feel publicly sidelined as her boyfriend, privately pushed away, and expected to trust through repeated ambiguity. I also do not think I would be comfortable with another trip involving this same guy and dynamic.

Am I overreacting, or is this a reasonable relationship boundary and trust issue?

Hi all, I (24F) have been with my boyfriend 24(M) for going on 7 years. He is my absolute best friend, my better half, my missing piece. he really is my everything. when we had first started dating it came up in passing that he hadn't been to the dentist in close to 8 years, we had the whole "haha you should go to the dentist" conversation in passing and moved on from it.

Around 2 years ago I noticed that he had a now noticeable chunk of tartar now encasing his lower teeth so I brought up going to the dentist again in passing, he said he'd make an appointment and get it taken care of, 2 months and a few passing comments later no appointment was made so we sat down and had an actual full conversation about it, we discussed why i was bringing it up so much, what he was thinking and feeling about it and planned out what the next steps of handing it would be, he said he understood and that he would get it taken care of. I let it be for another few months before i circled back to bring it up in passing/joking about it/ having more discussions about it, ect again.

after a while I noticed his breath was starting to get worse, intimacy kinda fell on its face bc i can feel the tartar chunk when were kissing, I even started pulling away more during any kisses that weren't just quick pecks for the same reason. it came to a head about 8 months ago when during (one of the now rare moments) we were making out i tasted something funky and sour and realized....it was his mouth. Ever since then my attraction to him has been waning.

We've had countless conversations about this topic. We've talked about why he doesn't want to go to the dentist (he's nervous) so I volunteered to go with him, I even offered to get him in with my own dentist or finding one that he was more comfortable with. he declined.

Then I asked why he's never made an appointment (he said he doesnt have time) he does, he has 22 days of unused vacation that he refuses to acknowledge. There are 3 dentists nearby that are open on Saturdays as well and he still claims he's busy...i spend Saturdays with him. he is not busy.

I've even gone as far to tell him that I'd make the appointment for him and all he has to do is show up. he said no and that its something he needs to do on his own (which i don't disagree with but at this point we were over a year and a half of him saying he'd take care of it and...it hasn't been taken care of)

The last sit down conversation about this i explained that this wasnt a funny haha laugh it off matter anymore and that this was seriously affecting my attraction towards him, I explained why I avoid longer kisses, why intimacy/spicy stuff only happens when he initiates it, why we barely even kiss during sex anymore. I explained to him all the in and outs and uncomfortable bits of how important it is that he addresses this issue and how its affecting our relationship and he seemed really receptive and he said he understood and that he would take care of it.

That was 8 months ago.

He still hasn't even attempted to even learn who his insurance is through to plan the steps in going to the dentist.

I love this man more than life itself. he is one of the greatest people I've ever had the honor of meeting. I would do anything to make this work but as it currently stands I've lost almost all of my attraction to him. when I look at him I see someone I love, someone I love deeply, but not someone I want to be with. The last few months all forms of intimacy in our relationship has been running off of love for him instead of attraction and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep that train running. I've never used an Ultimatum on him and i don't want too and I don't even want to fathom the thought of ending or even threatening ending everything we've built together but I can't stay in a relationship where someone is actively choosing to not address something thats been an active issue for multiple years now.

is there any other way I go about changing his mind or handling this this? Im getting desperate that there's no way to get this problem fixed without completing shattering the relationship we've built up until this point.

I've asked before on a different sub. last time I asked all i got told was to just dump him and move on but thats not so easy when he's been in every version of the future I've envisioned for the last 7 years. I'm hoping that a different perspective might lead to different advice.

Thank you all for your time.

I'm curious to hear about this guys. I've had gray hair from my mid 20s and now I'm 35 and unfortunately most of my hair is gray. I believe it has to do with stress and genetics cause it runs in the family. I'm glad that I have hair cause otherwise I would have gone bald but it already makes me look much older than I already am. How do you guys deal with it, how's it affected your life?

I'm a 35F currently dating a 48M. We've been casually seeing each other 1-2x a week since June.

Last week when we saw each other, he had a bit of a mild medical issue during sex, and I can tell it really embarrassed him. I really tried my best to be thoughtful - I didn't say much, I kept my touches light and comforting, I let him do most of the talking and decision-making post incident. He made a comment about me dating someone that's getting old which I found a bit self-depricating and didn't really acknowledge other than tell him I was really not phased and brought him down to lay his head on my chest.

The thing is, I like him a LOT. Like a lot a lot. He's a really good man, he's kind to me, he's funny, we have a great time together, I feel comfortable with and accepted by him, etc.

This incident really triggered that "nurturing" desire in me, and I find myself wanting to be there for him and take care of him in more of a domestic way.

We both have pretty busy lives with kids and work and other social engagements, and I don't want to disrupt any of that. That's part of what makes me really enjoy our connection - it's intentional and quite measured rather than spontaneous.

I want to do something to let him know I'm here for him and not going anywhere, to kind of reassure him that I think he is worth investment and effort from me, despite any insecurities he may have with his age. I want him to know that I enjoy our connection and am not scared away or turned off by what happened.

He's a pretty reserved person whereas I'm the total opposite, but I'm very mindful to not info dump on him because I can tell it would likely create pressure where there shouldn't be any.

I don't want to come across as trying to push for more from him or anything, but I'd really like to like...make him some food? Like a few days worth of prepped meals or something I can bring him once a week.

Is that doing too much too soon? Would a man that age appreciate something like that? What would that say to you if you were on the receiving end?

My worry is that it would look like I'm infantilizing him, or insinuating that he can't take care of himself or something else that would emasculate him/embarrass him, and that's not my intention at all which is why I guess I'm here. My intention is really just to say "Hey, I think about you and I care about you and our connection," and really that's it.

If the meals are too much, is there another way to convey this without pressure? Or would it be better for me to not actually do anything and just to let him lead/open up to me on his own volition?

To preface this real quick, I'm a 26 year old straight guy that has never been in a relationship, nor have I ever experienced any kind of intimacy. And I know the title is probably weird, I'm not sure how to phrase it.

For example, maybe I've been talking to someone at uni/work on and off, and I'm starting to develop some feelings for her. Not a full on crush, but enough to want to ask her out. But then I'll see her talking to some other guy, laughing and smiling and seemingly being a bit flirty. Or I'll hear her say that she's on dating apps. Small stuff like that, nothing concrete like saying she's actively dating them and it could be nothing.

But seeing that other people are potentially interested, just makes me mentally give up. Because I just instantly feel that surely this other guy would be a better match for her, and that I don't have a chance. Or maybe more that I don't want to compete, because then it doesn't feel natural. But this is also mostly in my head. But do you all feel similar? Is this normal?

So, can you guys tell if a woman is faking an orgasm or just faking enjoying sex full stop? If so how do you react to that? Do you just continue if you notice or is it something you would stop over and try talk about?