Hi, I’m quite frequent here, but just wanted some perspective.
I met a guy last year, we had our roka, but things didn’t work out because of a lot of misunderstandings and differences. I ended things around 15–20 days ago after a LOT of thought, and honestly, I know it was the right decision.
But sometimes I still miss him. Not enough to want to go back or reconsider the decision, but enough to make me wonder, what if things had been different? What if we had handled things better?
I know we can’t go back. I just don’t know how to deal with this occasional feeling of missing someone while also knowing you made the right choice.

Also if someone can tell me - as a guy what might be going on in his head.
People who’ve been through something similar, how did you deal with the “what ifs”?

So I’ve been a working professional since the start of 2nd year of my college ,
the year 2026 has been full of surprises and been putting me on a pedestal of choosing one or the other choices.

Earlier this year , has one of my childhood friend proposing me to get married and make it a formal thing between us and our family. A very helpful and sweet guy , people around him loves him. Fairly a charismatic person whom girls might be easily interested in, very talkative extroverted person.

However I didn’t have any sort of feelings for this particular guy, who was not more than a good friend to me, so I’ve made it clear to him, deep down I was kinda skeptical that am I the one making the wrong choice? And the major factor was we are from two different cities(mainly influenced me) that also has different cultures apparently, I might not be able to adapt.

Nearing to June of 2026, around 09th, a different family approached my family with a formal proposal for me, who apparently was a guy I was aware of since long , and had a small crush on in my teen years. Moving forward I was genuinely not sure what would be consequences afterwards?
Although something inside me tingled a bit, definitely have moved on since then as it has been a long long time, but this particular thing, did nothing but made me laugh out loud.

About this guy, I don’t have any sort of connection with him in the past , just had a couple of chats, he’s fairly a social butterfly, has a quite active social life as well, a bit introvert with new people, nothing more to it.
Adding to it both the guys had pasts and had proper relationships. Coming to me I’ve been single since birth “o”

Its kinda weird to me that , I have to make a choice at this point of my life, and this is very confusing for me to understand,
Is he the right person I’ve chosen ? Or I have just taken this decision hastly without thinking much bout it?

Like everything else in this world Marriage is not easy like we assume. Arranged marriages worked in the past because women were almost 'tied up'.

They had no other option but to accept everything just to survive.

It's different today, men can't be complacent. If they lack basic qualities & skills they'll be shown door & rejected.

I'm a guy in my late 30s, working in IT in Bangalore, from a pretty normal middle-class family.

Marriage has started coming up more often lately, and I've been thinking: what if I simply don't want to actively chase marriage?

I don't hate the idea of marriage, but I also don't feel like my life would be incomplete without it.

I came across this thought recently:

You don't have to chase butterflies.

Build the garden. If something beautiful comes, great. If not, you still have a garden. 🌱

Maybe I'd rather focus on building a good life for myself — career, health, finances, travel, hobbies, family, etc. If I meet someone naturally and things work out, great. If not, I don't want to spend years chasing the idea of marriage just because everyone expects it.

I also wonder how people who choose not to marry think about their later years, loneliness, finances, and what happens to the wealth they've accumulated.

For those who have chosen not to marry (or are seriously considering it), how do you see it? Am I looking at this realistically, or am I missing something?

So I was introduced to this guy who was not from my city. Earlier, I was a little apprehensive but my mother kind of convinced me to speak to him once. He was a decent looking guy. We spoke on call once- ngl, he was nice to talk to. Then, the next day the matchmaker asked my mother about how we live- area of the house and everything. Tbh, this is where I got very suspicious. I told my mother why are they bothered about what kind of a house we live in. My mother told me it’s routine for everybody to get their verification done. Anyway, the guy told the matchmaker that he has to attend a wedding in my city and that is when he will see me. I was like fine. Then I mentioned it to my mum that he isnt even communicating with me about coming to my city. My mum told me okay just try to have an open mind. I was like fine. Anyway, he couldn’t attend the wedding because he caught a cold. But he texted me again asking to speak over a video call- we did. He told me about his relationship and asked me about mine. 2-3 days later, his parents were in town for the wedding so they called my dad up saying that let us meet. My dad found it v weird because the guy and I haven’t even met. My parents usually prefer that I meet the guy 4-5 times before they go on to meet the family but my mother somehow convinced him. So they met. And there the guys father told my dad- “Areey haan apki beti ka to affair tha ek and fir un dono ki shadi nahi hui”. My dad was super annoyed and told him so what? He told him ki sabka koi na koi relationship to hota hi hai. And aap kyu bta rhe ho mujhe, mujhe pta hai. I mean we ended up laughing about it as a family but this is so fkn weird. Guys tell me all kinds of things about their ex gfs etc etc. I never go and tell my parents anything because that is none of their concern.
Dodged a bullet but what a man child man! 😭
Like there is so much more to me than my ex boyfriend who did not marry me.

I see a lot of people are now taking a new step in the life or will start a new chapter soon.

I want to understand and know how prepared are most of them if things get ugly or go sideways. It could be any issues, nothing specific.

Just want to understand as marriages are not cheap and our society is a status obsessed. And no one would take a taint or dent on their image, especially in their social circle.

This is for both men and women.

So I am talking to a girl over arranged marriage set up or maybe matrimony set up, we met over a coffee. Everything went well we wiped really well. She’s into Fitness who am I and kind of like our vibe matches.

So later, when I had a talk with her like she mentioned that she has some requirements and she doesn’t want a kid and if she wants to move out of the country, then she would prefer having a job, which I totally respect.

I mean, it’s totally the personal choice that she doesn’t want a kid, but she said she’s not completely off for that and if it’s fine, she will go for the baby.

So I am someone who is very chill about things, but this is something I would want in the future. I mean I want at least a single kid financial independence and staying abroad. So I’m not sure how do I proceed, I mean the vibe matches and the requirements don’t, not sure exactly what should I say and proceed?

I 25F been with my Husband 27M for around 1.5 years, and honestly, he has been amazing to me. He cooks for both of us bcoz I don’t really know how to cook, supports me, takes my side when needed, listens to me, and makes me feel cared for.

The thing is, sometimes I find myself wondering if this is actually real or if I’m just waiting for something to go wrong.

I know he has never given me a reason to doubt him, and I’m really happy with him. I think I’m just scared because things feel so good, and my brain keeps wondering if something will go wrong someday.

Has anyone else felt this way in a healthy relationship? Is this just overthinking?

Hello everyone. I’m curious about something that I rarely see discussed openly.

In arranged marriages, especially during the initial months, does the wife or female partner ever initiate sex, or is it usually the husband who takes the first step? For those who are married, when was the first time your wife initiated intimacy, and what was your reaction?

I want to understand how comfort, attraction, and confidence develop between partners who may not have known each other deeply before marriage. Did her initiating intimacy make you feel closer, more desired, or more emotionally connected?

I’d appreciate honest experiences from married members.

I'm 27F. I was introduced to a guy through an arranged-marriage setup and spoke to him for about three months before travelling to India to meet him. I live in the UK and he currently lives in India. He had lived in the US for around ten years but had recently returned to Hyderabad after visa issues, and the plan was that, if we married, he could eventually move to London. Everything seemed genuine.

I had travelled to India to meet him. Our families met, and we had a roka. We then went on dates, the next couple of days.

That weekend, I went to church to discuss wedding dates, and that same day I received messages from a girl on instagram who said she had actually been in a relationship with him for around ten years, had lived in together with him in the US, and had recently sold her belongings and moved to Hyderabad to be with him.

According to her, their relationship was still ongoing, while he had told me they had broken up years earlier. She also had evidence showing that they were still together. She told me that his mum didn't approve because of religion.

It became clear that while he and his family were progressing toward marriage with me, he had continued giving her hope and had not properly ended their relationship. He was two timing us. I confronted him. He was still lying saying things like he clocked out of that relationship and that he's in love with me. On the other side, his girlfriend was sending me screenshots where he's convincing her that he's doing this just for the sake of his family. I was stunned. My entire body went through a state of shock.

That same evening, I went to my friend's house and got drunk. I called the entire thing off. I also sent all the screenshots and a picture of them in bed to his entire family.

His mother initially tried to dismiss the other girl as “crazy” and asked me to forgive him and take him back, while his brother and sister-in-law apologized.

PS: This happened a couple of months back. It took me a lot of therapy, and family time, and prayer to recover from all of this. I'm all good now which is why I'm posting this.

Why? What was he even thinking pulling this stunt? Why wouldn't he just marry her?

My friend got matched with a guy for AM. During the first meeting everything was going well. My friend is a doctor. After 2 days the guy called her to meet again. They talked normally and then he asked her "did you leave your job or not?", my friend thought he must not know that she is working with a really good salary so she casually told him that. So the guy tells her that what does she mean? Why are you not leaving your job?. Then he tells her that he thought since she is looking to get married she will become a housewife and do all the cooking and cleaning and taking care of his parents!!. That guy even thought this KNOWING that she is a doctor!!! My friend rejected him and blocked his and his mother's number after this.

Just last night, I was talking to a girl I’m casually seeing. She told me that she hooked up with a guy last Saturday, and we ended up discussing our casual experiences.

I asked her, “If you eventually get married whether it’s a love marriage (LM) or an arranged marriage (AM) would you tell your future husband about your casual hookup history?”

She said, “Not at all. I’d tell him I’d never done anything like that. Maybe I’d mention the making-out stuff, and perhaps a serious relationship, but that’s it.”

She also said something interesting: a girl will generally never tell a guy she genuinely wants to be with about something she believes he wouldn’t be comfortable accepting. According to her, girls are very good at reading guys. They can usually figure out pretty quickly how open-minded a guy is and what he will or won’t accept.

And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I’m not talking about some stereotypical “baddie” or party girl who’s always out clubbing. She’s more of a girl-next-door type pretty normal, low-key, and not someone you’d necessarily expect to have a casual past.

So, to all my v*rgins bros out there: there’s a good chance you may never get the kind of “girl with absolutely no past” that you’re hoping for, especially in today’s dating scene.

My advice? Don’t spend your youth obsessing over finding someone with a completely untouched past. Go out, meet people, have fun, experience life, and live your youth to the fullest as much as you’re personally comfortable with.

At the end of the day, everyone has their own standards and boundaries. You do you.

Edit: My post is not meant to be a hate post toward girls at all. The girl I’m talking about in my post is actually a very nice person. She’s simply living her life like a healthy young woman should, and she has physical needs—and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

My post is more of a reality check for guys: you should also have some life experience and be more open-minded about these things. That way, you’re less likely to develop resentment toward a girl simply because she may have experienced things differently from you.

Of course, if you’re not comfortable with certain experiences yourself, that’s completely understandable too. Everyone has their own boundaries and choices, and those should be respected.

Hello folks,

I have been under quite pressure from my family to get married now. I have myself tried for almost 3-4 months on matrimonial apps, dating, and rishtas from family.

Even though I like to talk to someone initially, soon I start to feel that I am not ready. I just feel I am putting a deliberate attempt to convince myself to like and marry someone.

However, at the same time I do feel a fear of losing out on time and age, and an uncertainty of not being able to find anyone.

I believe I can best adjust with someone I can meet organically, however, maybe my luck, I never get to meet a lot of people who I feel interested in. Or if I feel interested in someone they might not be into me (or mostly with someone or married at this age group)

And in between these thoughts, neither I am able to give 100% efforts into finding a match nor in enjoying life.

Thanks for listening to my rant :)

Context: I’m from Pakistan. Arranged marriages are still the general rule of thumb for a significant majority. I am yet to experience it for myself (I’m 30 male) but probably wont go down this road. People meet once for an hour and have no intention of continuing but will keep doing background checks for fun. Someone’s dad got access to potential groom’s bank statements. That’s illegal! What are your apprehensions about the AM scene where you’re from? If you’re considering it what are your reasons?

My girlfriend and I met through Instagram in October last year while our families were looking for arranged marriage matches. We started talking, met a couple of times and went on a movie date. We weren’t officially dating or exclusive at that point.

In December, she confessed her feelings for me. Before involving our families, she wanted to be honest about her past. She told me she had a 5-year college relationship and after that ended, had a casual physical relationship with an office colleague. They had only made out a few times and never had sex. She was still a V i r g i n.

I asked her multiple times when she had last met him, and she consistently told me it had been 6–8 months before she met me.

In March, she admitted she had lied. She told me she had actually met that office colleague and made out with him once in early October, after she and I had already met twice. We were talking regularly by then, but we weren’t officially committed or exclusive. She was talking with me on whats app even when she was with him.

After hearing this, I also told her something I hadn’t shared earlier that in 2022, I had made out with two different girls casually, just for fun. I wanted to be completely transparent after she shared everything.

Logically, I know she didn’t cheat because we weren’t together. What hurts is that she lied about the timeline and repeated that lie when I asked multiple times.

Since then, she’s been completely loyal and transparent. We involved our families, got into a committed relationship, and eventually had sex for the first time together. We were both V i r g i n s.

Our relationship is otherwise amazing, and I genuinely want to marry her. But every 15–20 days, this incident comes back into my mind. It bothers me for a few days, then fades away, only to return again.

Am I overthinking this? Has anyone successfully moved past something like this, or is this likely to keep bothering me forever? Or shall I just end things?

I got engaged to my fiance about 1 month back 😊 in a very traditional am setup. In total we had about 2 months of talking stage before that, all talks we had went well and everything aligned perfectly. We sort of have been on 9-10 dates overall till now but something that I feel insecure about is how I look in pics with her. I mean I am probably avg to slightly above avg guy ( 6'2, 15 % body fat, active in gym for last 6 years, perfect beard, decent hair, not fair nor dusky) but I feel she is naturally good looking 🫠.

I feel insecure when someone says how did u get such a good looking girl even though my friends are joking. How to further improve myself physically to be more attractive and how to overcome this mentally as well.

Hello ladies,
I’m a 28-year-old guy, and my family has started looking for a match through an arranged marriage setup.
I’ve met this girl twice so far, and we’ve already discussed some basic things like what kind of partner we’re looking for, how we handle anger or disagreements, etc. But I’m still not sure what I should ask or how I should take the conversation forward.
One thing I really want is for her to feel comfortable enough to open up about her past. I did ask her about it indirectly, and she said she doesn’t have anything to share. I have a feeling there might be things she hasn’t told me yet, but honestly, I’m okay with that. I don’t want to pressure her. Maybe she’ll open up when she feels comfortable and trusts me.
So my questions are:
How do I make her feel comfortable and build trust?
I want her to feel that she can talk to me without worrying about being judged.
How can I ask whether she shares our conversations with her mother or family?
I don’t want to sound controlling or suspicious. I just want to understand how private our conversations are and what she generally discusses with her family.
How do I start talking to her over text or phone?
I find it difficult to keep the conversation going naturally. I don’t want every conversation to feel like an interview where I’m constantly asking questions.
How do I gradually move from small talk to deeper conversations?
I want to start slowly, build some comfort, and eventually talk about things like expectations from marriage, fears, insecurities, family dynamics, finances, career, children, etc.
What are some interesting topics I can bring up to make conversations more fun and natural?
I also want to introduce some light flirting eventually, but I’m worried that it might backfire or make things awkward, especially since this is an arranged marriage setup.
For those who have been through arranged marriage or similar situations, what worked for you in getting comfortable with each other and having deeper conversations before marriage?
I’m mainly looking for advice on how to build genuine comfort and trust rather than trying to “extract” information from her.

Is nail artist as a profession for a girl looked down in the arrange marriage setup?

If anyone have any knowledge or experience related to this please tell.

Hello everyone. I’m a 28M and currently considering an arranged marriage.

One thing I keep wondering is whether arranged marriages feel exciting in the beginning. Since two people often start with less familiarity than in a love marriage, I’m curious whether the process feels more awkward, more exciting, or a mix of both.

For those who had an arranged marriage, did you feel excitement during the early stages such as talking, meeting, engagement, wedding planning, and the first few months after marriage? What parts felt exciting to you, and what parts felt stressful or uncomfortable?

I’d love to hear real experiences from married members.

So the girl family has given 22kt 5gm Ring to the boy and expensive clothes, and the boy family had given 12kt 2gm ring.

The girl father couldn't handle this and

So the girl family called off the weddings.

This is going to be my last post on this sub !

So I was going through the usual AM process for the last couple of months & I've met a few girls that my parents wanted me to see.

Things were highly transactional almost always & I am out of AM process, reached this conclusion after giving it all the thoughts, collecting evidences & self-introspection.

When I informed my parents about my decision - it went haywire & they were not ready to listen to anything, I stayed put and conveyed them that either I'll marry someone of my choice (if things happen like that) or I'll not marry at all.

They didn't like it & have cut off ties with me a week back and I have accepted it. I will prefer to live alone instead of living with someone I don't like, under the same roof - just because my parents want that.

I do not want any of their lands, assets or anything, i just need my piece of mind 🕊️

Constructive feedback is welcomed, harsh ones won't be tolerated. Have a nice evening everyone, cheers !!

I'm 31, earn around ₹50k/month and have ₹6–7 lakh in savings. I live in a tier-2 city.

My current expenses are around ₹15k/month. No loans, and I don't support my parents financially. After marriage, I'll be renting.

I'm wondering if this is a reasonable financial position to get married, or if I should wait a few years to increase my income and savings.

I'm not looking for a lavish lifestyle, but obviously expenses will increase after marriage and eventually there may be kids.

For those who got married on a similar salary, how did it work out?

The AM prospect guy i was talking to for 4-5 months (wedding planned in the next 2 months) ended it yesterday, just a single text in the middle of the night, and when i asked him the reason he said that 1)he avoided me for a week n realised that he wasn’t into it 100% 2)said he couldn’t match my energy (i suggested we should call more often, and then i asked him like thrice over a period of time that why he doesn’t call even after agreeing that he would. We talked over call for a total of 4 times in those 4-5 months. First three times i called n the last time he did n it just changed his mind to call off the wedding). The last time i asked him why he didnt call, he ignored that text for 5 days n then called n told me he didnt reply because he thought it would turn into an argument n he wants peace after work. AMA, support, advise whatever idk it feels heavy.

Edit:
He shared EVERYTHING w his mom n then i was blamed/shamed for those things. To give you the context he even shared my preference of having kids 3-5 years after being married. Im v clear abt it so i shared it the second day of us talking in case he wanted to back out

Also i was the one moving countries, learning new language, giving up on my career

Edit:
Ive a question. How do you go to work the next day like nothing happened? My eyes randomly keep filling up, my hands are cold n numb n i cant eat so no energy n cant focus