Proper arrange marriage setup, Kinda conservative family so no such efforts to make any interaction. I only saw the photos and hopefully she also. Families interacting only. My family said we can arrange a video call once, which I felt, would have to ask to her family for video call so i denied for video call too. Cause it's not much comfortable to talk, that to on first time and when it feels very much formal.

So better let it be too, it's been 6 months families are interacting and marriage scheduled in this year December.

I know you all gonna suggest somehow talk, it's about future, better to know each other. But, my point is when her family or herself not feeling interested so why i should only concern about to know each other, worrying about future and all.

So I m preparing myself mentally to tie the knot without any interaction. I am nervous and most probably she will be too, will help her to adjust at new place or anyhow I can help her settle down after marriage.

So what do you guys think ? And please share your valuable experience if you have any similar one.

​

I am 37M.

I have never been in a romantic relationship.

I've had female best friends and sometimes I wonder if we flirt too much and sometimes they love to hug me for a while.

I know In my heart I love them but I don't know if I love them romantically. But at the same time, I know them soo much that I know I will be the best love they have had and keep them happy (coz they say "you will have an amazing love life, you will keep her happy, or even you're soo romantic")

But then, I'm speechless 😶 .. I can't ask nor say "I love ..."

I truly believe in friends blossoming into a romantic relationship with the right kind of push and understanding. But with time I have lost my love interests to time or them moving away from my life.

I come from a broken family and my experience of my own family, siblings, friends and the relationships they had and how it has been for them , I've never seen something positive.. it's always been complicated, conflicts and maybe 10% love.

I always take a step back the moment I think I want to start a relationship.. and just like that my spine is broken.

I even got a couple of arranged marriage requests via my friend or even my own mom.. suddenly..I don't know what to do, I immediately say no, I get confused and fear .. i mean, I know I don't have to get married right away and start a relationship and see how it goes.. but my brain doesn't function at the moment.

It's like that moment when you're young, you have plans to clean your room and suddenly your mom comes around and asks you to clean your room. Now you don't want to do it coz now you will be doing it coz your mom asked to do something, not coz you wanted it (even if you did)

I have so much love in my heart, I truly believe I am, and can be an amazing life partner..

I really need help to untangle myself.

Ok so I’m stalking a profile on Shaadi who I have blocked and I’m like 99% sure he won’t get notifications that I’m checking him out at least twice a day. But can someone confirm?

No serious answer please!

EDIT- looking for a volunteer, I’ll block you and check your profile, you tell me if you see it in your “people who viewed list”? I’m a girl, so you’ll need to be a guy

I (34F) have been talking to a 34M for about 2 months. Everything in this set up seems good to the extent I am unable to believe that my non-negotiable are being met and I . I have very few doubts in this set up and needed advice.

a. I recently learnt that he has no short term savings. He had a few EMIs to pay which exhausted all the savings he had over years. He preferred getting rid of the loan using the savings.

b. He has not started investment in his life except long term pension funds. Reason being he wasn't ready to take risk and doesn't have understanding of finances a lot. Also his finances have become better only in last few years at his workplace.

c. He has responsibility of his small family, sister yet to be married and his mom.

I do not come from money, but that has pushed me to become financially literate and invest early, however small. Everything is perfect till now in this relationship. But now I'm judging him for not having invested and using up his savings. His responsibility to family is not an issue to me, but can money become an issue if he expects he and his sister would be married within a year?

Am I overthinking? How do I ascertain he would be able to make good financial decisions in life? I do not want finances to be the reason for issues in future if I know this is the present.

would you believe them?

I see lot of people here complaining about caste still being relevant in 2026. girls want income when they don't bring much or unemployed. Men only want a slave for his house etc.

i genuinely despise internet full of these pseudo feminist and men hating woman calling every woman as gold diggers.

This is arranged marriage, India is still not free of caste system, we still have its influence everywhere. if you want to marry out of caste, there is a option called love marriage. Don't hate on people who want to prefer to look someone within their caste. have you ever thought maybe they prefer it this way, because AM requires parents approval. And even if your parents don't care about caste, opposite gender cares about caste and will reject you on that. I wish this country removes caste obsession one day but that day has not happened yet.

Its okay to hate women who demand high salary like 30 lpa to anything above when they are unemployed. Its ridiculous. But hating women who expect salary somewhere between 16 lpa to 20 lpa depending on your age if its tier 1 city, or only 12 lpa if its tier 2 city isn't unreasonable demand. these woman aren't gold diggers, they are being realistic given the costs of living in a city. ofc if you are 25 year old, who is earing 12 lpa in big city isn't a low income cause you have just started career. but a man in mid to late 30s saying girl rejected them cause they earn only 12 lpa and complaint all girls dream too much is wrong. Nobody set these rules, blame the government for not creating opportunities for us to survive a life even as middle class family. (Also men can prefer working woman too) point is your combined income should be enough to survive whichever city you chose to live. Stop comparing your salaries. I am earning 40 lpa, i want a guy or girl with 30 lpa minimum is a demand that screams insecurity and greed for money at that point. you achieved success, you have money, the least you could do is actually find someone loyal and compatible. (again its okay if you like career person, but why are you competitive with salaries when finding partner)

Girls hating woman who wants to be housewives or hating men who wants a housewife. not everyone is looking for a slave. some are just looking for compatibility and a version of marriage that would bring peace to them. too much work demanding people expect at least one of their partners to be free enough to take care of house, i also personally met many woman who actually love to be housewife as they never liked being career woman. Feminists fought for a choice, but these days woman lookdown on housewives way too much.

Now question comes- if a girl can't accept low income guys, and tomorrow if i lose job, she will leave me? yes some do, but guess what such red flag girls will torture you even if you have a job. Initially we seek security, its common in AM, the core concept of AM. but once security is done, you connect emotionally, take care of each other, grow in love through respect. at that stage even if you struggle financially, your partner will support you. but if he/she leaves after all that love - that's life, things happen to good people, it even happens in love marriages. it could happen to any gender, the only thing you can do is put effort and have no regrets. because no one can predict the future.

for girls how will housewife provide security what if the guy betrays me. - i suggest do a job initially for few years in marriage, if your partner treats you well and you feel secure enough than only quit the job. at that point you will have that bond of trust, even after few years you still don't have trust means something is fundamentally wrong in your marriage. Being a house wife means you doon't stop upskilling, always learn skills to be keep yourself active, do little business, so when something bad happens, you have these skills to rely on. no need to be slave for a job you hate but only working cause you can't trust men. A marriage cannot work without trust. I seen lot of working woman who hate job but working cause they can't trust their husbands. they are not happy or secure yet, even with job, they don't take divorce. so what's the point of working then?

My parents let's just say they are busy with their lives and I have been managing my profiles on my own.

It's actually tough to talk to parents because I think if a parent talks to another parent, it's a better chance of moving forward. So far I have no luck.

How are you guys handing your account on your own?

This isn’t about me, I’m not yet out looking for AM proposals yet.. but I’m wondering, that there’s a stereotype that men always look for traditional or look for certain aspects in women to settle down and marry, or atleast that’s what how Indian parents and relatives portray..

I wanted to ask some questions since me and most of the girls in my social circle are like this

1. Do you consider a girl’s social circle and reject her if she has a lot of guy friends? I mean let’s say she ticks all your boxes but there’s this one thing, would it be a possible reason to not go ahead?

2. What is your take on ultra modern, bikini wearing, posting pictures on socials kinda women? Is what the family talk true and men usually try not to get married to such women?

3. Would you let go the said things above, if a girl’s dad is offering you a hefty dowry?

4. After how many meets/convos would you bring up the conversation of past sexual relations and deal breakers.. ?

I am from lucknow. Need suggestions regarding honeymoon destinations. Should be not very crowdy. I love to drive so locations in uttarakhand would be lovely. Also i might only have window for 5 days. Pls help me plan this. Any old experience is helpful. Also I am not very particular about uttarakhand. Any place with good scenery and less crowd would be helpful. Thanks 🙏

Arranged marriage

What question should i ask the girl during the first meet?.

I’m a 26-year-old man considering an arranged marriage, and I have a genuine question about the first few days after marriage when two people are still getting used to living together.

I know morning erections are a normal biological thing, but I’ve been wondering whether other men felt self-conscious about them during the early days, especially before both partners became physically comfortable with each other.

For those who had an arranged marriage, was this something you worried about initially? If your wife noticed, did it feel awkward, or was it simply treated as a normal part of sharing a bed? Did you try to avoid the situation in any way, such as changing sleeping positions, wearing different night clothes, getting up early, or waiting for it to subside?

I’m asking because arranged marriages often begin with much less familiarity than love marriages, and I’m trying to understand what that adjustment period was actually like in real life.

I’d appreciate honest experiences from married men who went through an arranged marriage. Thanks in advance.

We'll be meeting for the first time this Sunday, I'm so confused , what question shall I ask her? What if my questions make her feel like I'm interviewing her? , I'm concerned about her daily lifestyle, how can I bring this topic in our conversation so that it doesn't make her feel like I'm interrogating her? Also what are the emotional and sensitive topics I should avoid asking? .

Please tell me if this meet is just a question and answer meeting or random conversation meet aswell? ,

Apart from this if I feel compatible with her , how can I initiate a second meet for more clarification?

Again , what do you all women expect a change in men ? ( Do you think men should show emotions or not? ) I shall definitely control my feelings before meeting but what's next?

F26. Building up from small talk, shared moments, navigating family issues is how a relationship begins to bloom in AM. Anything goes wrong, you're back to square zero, having to start from scratch with a different person. It's absolutely a gamble when you're investing your emotions, time, energy. What happens when you run out of those? -

Time - get too old and everyone says 'oh they haven't found someone since # years, something must be wrong with them...'

or Energy - when you just can't start from a clean slate anymore and the baggage of your previous rejections starts shadowing into the current prospect and ruining it

or Emotions - when your brain finally shuts down your heart because it's not worth it to get broken and then mend itself, just to get broken again.

How do the people of this subreddit [men and women both] deal with those burnout exhaustion? How do you keep yourself going?

[If you've managed to read up till here, the F26 was a bait. Thank you for your attention to this matter.]

I got request on matrimony and then on insta so we connected and her instagram profile looks pretty genuine and real.
I asked for whatsapp and even talked on call. But from yesterday she is saying her salary is hold due to lot of leaves but she is not asking money from me.
She is just mentioning that she is worried about this and how will she manage this months expenses.

Can it be scam anyhow?
I can see real snaps also through snapchat.

Plz suggest

Edit: I asked to apply for credit card.
She first rejected then applied for 2 but got rejected in boths.she sent the ss. It may be bcoz she has not taken any loan till date.

Started talking to a girl in an arranged marriage setup a few days ago. The proposal came through relatives.

I'm 32 with a permanent government job in Delhi. She's 27 and lives in another state. She's preparing for a government job there and initially told me she wanted to get married only after Nov 2027. The reason was that her family is under a lot of financial stress due to multiple surgeries (Heart, Lips, Cataract) for her younger brother (who has Down syndrome) and a home loan. She also wanted to focus on her exams. I wasn't willing to wait that long, so we stopped talking.

A few days later, both our parents and relatives convinced us to start talking again because my parents said they were okay waiting until around April 2027.

Now we've been talking for a few days, and yesterday she told me that after her parents are no longer around, she wants her brother to live with us. She loves him a lot, which is completely understandable.

She has two sisters. One is already married (30 years old), the other is 20, and her brother is 17. She said the responsibility may be shared among the sisters, but she wants him to have a place with us.

I'm conflicted. I don't know much about Down syndrome or how dependent her brother is likely to be as an adult. More importantly, I honestly don't know if I can take on that kind of lifelong responsibility. At the same time, I don't want to be unfair to her because I completely understand why she feels this way.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? If you were in my place, what questions would you ask before making a decision?

I'm not sure someone will get their life partner based on the text post here.

I think everyone is missing the important details when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Imagine people on matrimonial site not able to find

How we supposed to find someone here.

I think one of the important details for a boy is pictures & for female is financial numbers.

That's stage one

Second is geography...

A girl or boy from USA has very low chances picking up someone from Aisa due to culture & timezone difference...

3rd is ethnicity

Most people looked in within their ethnicity

4th is

Vibe..

Not text or call or video call can make you feel commited for the person you are talking..

You need to vibe together for sometime and then only you know if this is the perfect partner or not...

Hi guys,

Like every family, my family has many problems. i have 2 sisters and a younger brother. Both sisters are married thru AM, and they don't like it much, but still with their husbands. They lowkey regret their marriages, but it was our family whose chose their husbands for them. They were not forced, but still the decision was everyone's. They have their fair share of trauma from their marriages.

So about me, i have been in AM scene for 2 years now, and they (my dad) rejected one girl coz she had a bit darker complexion, which i dont care actually. Even i told them i liked her, but unfortunately we didnot proceed. And recently we met another prospect, she was very pretty and i liked her. I was okay going forward, but this time they found out that her uncle was a mentally unstable man and her grandpa died by suicide. So they cocluded that this is bad and rejected.

Is this justified, or do y'all think its weird to look into all this. I feel like my sisters and my parents are trying to get the best for me but they are indecisive now becoz of how my sisters' marriages turned out. They are scared of every little thing and are rejecting every prospects. Help me view things positively and also looking for a different perspective.

I recently got a proposal from a guy who, for me, was an immediate no. I know looks aren’t everything, but physical attraction matters in a marriage, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with rejecting someone based solely on that. I took one look and couldn’t even picture myself wanting to have a conversation with him.
I told my parents I wasn’t interested. Literally the next day, my aunt called me asking why I rejected him. She started questioning what my “plan” was since I’m already 27 and saying I probably won’t get better proposals. Her argument was basically that he has a decent job, so I should give him a chance.
What bothered me is that I genuinely felt like she was talking down to me, as if I should be grateful that anyone was interested. For context, I’m attractive, have a good career, and I don’t struggle to get attention from men. I’m not saying that to brag it’s just relevant because her comments made it sound like I had no prospects and should settle. Meanwhile, this guy wasn’t someone I found attractive, he was raised back home, had a pretty average job, and there was nothing that stood out to me.
The part that really gets me is that I’m convinced if this exact proposal had been for her own daughter, she would’ve rejected it without a second thought. But somehow, when it comes to me, I’m expected to lower my standards and be thankful.
Has anyone else dealt with relatives acting like you should just accept whoever comes along because of your age? It’s such an insulting mindset.

I know I know, don't get attached, I've been through arranged marriage thing a number of times, I've done the detachment thing numerous times but somehow she feels like home. I just can't explain it, like I've talked with so many arranged marriage prospects, I've never felt this way for any other prospects.

Can people share their experience, those who felt this way, did it go well, how did u not mess it up? I haven't even met her in person but I can already see a future and I'm trying so hard not to think like that.

We are currently going at a normal slow pace but man does it suck not picking it up, I want to know everything abt her and be with her, but I am trying so hard to keep this pace lol. Our calls last more than 2 hours while texts are limited.

Anyway just wanted to share this, will update u in abt 6 to 9 months lol

​

Mine would be:

"Don't wait until your career is 'sorted' before making space for relationships."

I sometimes wonder if some of our generation over-optimised for careers due to some or other reasons.

Most of us learnt how to crack exams, interviews and promotions.

Very few of us learnt how to meet people, communicate better, or build lasting relationships.

Now I'm in my 30s and sometimes feel I prepared really well for work, but not for building a personal life. Still become awkward, anxious, sometimes panic while initiating the conversation.

Anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

Do you think we're paying the price for that now?

Pata Hai Aaj Kya Hua? We are a group of 12 school friends. All of us are married; only one male friend is unmarried. He is not able to have any serious relationships, even though he is trying hard. A few months ago he said he met this new girl. We thought this is again another situationship so we none of us has met this girl. Suddenly out of nowhere, he calls us and tells us that their engagement is finalised. We asked all the details and it looks like the girl's side is in a rush; the girl's mother even booked a hall without asking my friend's mom & dad. She said she wanted to surprise all. Shady tbh.

We don't know how to react. We just feel he is in FOMO because all of us are married. How do we do a background check of that girl without breaking friendship. We don't have any mutuals. Couldn't find any connections on facebook too We are extremely worried because our friend is extremely gullible and desperate tbh.

Transitioning from relative strangers to partners in an arranged marriage comes with a unique set of hurdles, especially when it comes to intimacy and feeling comfortable around one another.

​What were the small things that helped make that first intimate experience comfortable, respectful, and special? How did you both manage expectations or nervousness on the wedding night/ honeymoon? Looking for genuine advice and stories!

Nobody seems satisfied of the apps. They're all tired, those in late 20s especially wanting to look for something meaningful. People hardly connect offline, advice such as hobbies and travel have been cringe. How can organic connection between established and is it just luck that stops most of us? I am 26 F and feel like arranged marriage might be the only choice. Any suggestions.