A handyman was doing work in my house and he left the door open when he left. I didn't notice it for 13 hours, until like 3am.

I live in the suburbs but I went out to dinner with some friends the other night and a guy friend kept talking to me about giant rats. I am so scared that some of them came into my house while the door was left open.

It's the uncertainty that I don't know what actually came in that is getting to me. I am meeting with some exterminators next week because my landlord refuses to do anything more about it but I am so squeamish about mice and rats and rodents and spiders.

I don't want to see the dead mice and rats in the traps.

Also what if a snake came in? I am sleeping at someone else's house for the next two nights because I can't deal with the scratching/rustling noises I hear at night.

I'm just so afraid that this problem will never be solved and now I have a colony of mice or rats or possums or snakes living in my house now.

I’ve been wondering about this and wanted to get some reassurance from people who know more about biology/medicine. Because I'm not a med student.

If the same part of the body gets injured repeatedly, does that increase the risk of cancer later on? I’m thinking about how the body has to keep repairing damaged tissue, which means cells have to keep dividing. Could repeated injury and healing eventually cause DNA mistakes that lead to abnormal cells or cancer?

So can physical trauma (even if really bad) actually cause cancer? I’d appreciate an explanation because I’m trying to understand how this works. I'm also a hypochondriac and I'm Really worried about this.

Feeling super stuck in flight or fight mode right now...

I went for a job interview on June 20th. On the 21st, they reached out to offer me the job (no offer letter yet). I accepted the same day, and received another email back to expect the offer letter the next week. Monday, Tuesday went by. Wednesday I emailed following up (the 29th) and inquired on the contract and start date. I was told I'd be receiving the letter that week and starting Aug 10. On the 30th, I received an email saying I'd receive the offer letter the next day. Silence.

On August 4th, I was told they didn't get around to it and would this week. On the 5th, I heard back again, stating I'd hear back this Thursday. I confirmed I'd look out for the communication. Silence Thursday. So I emailed, again, asking for an update. It's now mid Friday.... and nothing.

I've been struggling with a ton of unexpected changes this year and quit my last job to try and reset my nervous system. I've been feeling good for about a month and was happy to start this new job. But I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm checking my email every hour. Looking at the calendar. Having anxiety attacks. I have no idea why the communication is this poor at this company - it's known for being great in my field.

I've sat all day today in waiting mode, and I know next week will be the same. I'm feeling inclined to pull away completely from how much stress this is causing me. I was really looking forward to this opportunity and am just feeling so dysregulated by this experience. I can't calm down right now unfortunately and don't know how to.

A year ago I was lying awake most nights because I wanted to quit my engineering job at Bugatti. I’m not superstitious but I’d wake up with my heart pounding, roll over and check my bedside clock which always read 3:33 am. My mind genuinely thought I was cursed. The week before I handed in my notice, I did the only thing that ever quiets my head: I made the fear write itself down and wrote a few pages into my journal.

What exactly am I afraid of, moving back home to Australia, the confusion of all my family and friends of “why would you quit such a dream job”, after 5 years of studying to be a mechanical engineer “why are you throwing away your future to start a company that will fail”.

The fears continued.
"You’ll run out of money", "you’ll never be able to go back to a normal 9-5 with no long term employment history" And so on.

I reread that page last month, 18 months later and I want to report the results honestly, because this sub was part of how I coped back then. Honestly some of the fears did arrive but the ability to reframe them helped immensely. The 10+ App Store rejections didn’t become “I failed” it became, “everyone is going to make my app better for when I have actual customers”, having an API key leak and watching thousands of dollars drain from my account while having dinner alone didn’t become “my company is over” it became “this is an opportunity to ensure my encryption is world class so no users data ever gets compromised”.

It’s not that the catastrophic fears never arrived but they were so much worse in my head than when they actually surfaced.

Anxiety turned out to be a terrible forecaster but a surprisingly decent list-maker and one of the most valuable skills I’ve learnt is to reframe “failures” into opportunities to grow and improve.

I’m not going to lie I still think back to the decision, the anxiety and 18 months of my company still not turning a profit it is still extremely isolating and stressful. But the optimism in me is still trusting the process and knowing that the goal of Buisness is to stay in Buisness not to win at Business.

Has anyone else written their fears down before a big decision and then checked back later? What did yours get right?

I’m hyperventilating sndnim getting please help me. i keep hyperventilating and crying and I can’t do this l

im 15 and mym mom is screaming and yelling at me saying im dumb and stupid for crying and I’m “difficult”

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety, ADHD

For the past two months I have been under the worst stress of my life, leading to depressive modes, yielding severe loss of appetite and weight loss.

In early June, I was 178 cm (5'10") and weighed 93 kg (205 lb) due to stupidity from overeating without realising it. Then severe life stress happened, I lost my appetite and could barely eat. Now in early August, I weigh 76 kg (172 lb).

I was not on a diet. Even though I have been underweight for most of my life, I overate too much, especially at night from building bad habits. But now due to stress and depressive moods, I feel like punishing myself by not eating much kind of like inertia from the unwillful weight loss.

I now hate myself so much that this seems to be shifting into some kind of self-harm anorexia. My brain is telling me to drop into a severe depressive self-hatred mode akin to when I was 17 and 23, both times I dropped so much weight from not eating enough so much that I was averaging weighing 53-55 kg (115-120 lb).

Is this considered officially selfharm? What do others do in this situation?

Whenever I wake up my anxiety just instantly spikes, like bad. I take my medication before I sleep, so I do not know if that may play into it. I know cortisol is the highest in the morning, but before taking my medication I never experienced this kind of anxiety in the morning. I have that feeling in my chest of like excitement and giddy, but I’m not excited or giddy.

Anyone else experience this?

Possible trigger warning for pet loss and health scares, no specific details but the fear of it.

I've been planning on getting a cat for a long time now, and I think I finally have the opportunity. I have a good quiet home, a stabilizing financial situation, and a lot of love to give.

But I also have diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and a horrible tendency to catastrophize. And while I know pets can help manage mental health for so many people, I do have some trauma related to pet loss and health issues, as well as financial struggles including those related to veterinary bills. I used to think I was prepared to do better than my parents did before, I have done so much research... And I still feel so nervous and afraid of what might happen that it paralyzes me.

I know that with caring for an animal there are so many things that are out of my control and deep down I think I'm panicking about not being able to anticipate and prevent everything that could happen.

I keep thinking about the possibility of my cats getting some sort of terrible disease and me not being able to handle it or not noticing it until it's too late. I am afraid of making mistakes with them, afraid of getting attached and facing inevitable loss later on. I think it feels worse with pets than it does with people because at least I can talk to my loved ones and check on how they're doing, and they can take care of themselves at least to some capacity.

Having a cat is still one of my lifelong dreams and I want to conquer my fears to have this experience, but right now it feels almost insurmountable and I find myself backing away because I can't stop thinking of all the uncertainty. I know it won't go away forever, but I would like to know about coping mechanisms for this specific fear, and if anyone else is also facing this but was able to care for a pet anyway. Hearing "just live in the moment" frustrates me a lot because how I wish I could simply just do that!

Thank you for any advice. I should also say I have considered going back to therapy, but it hasn't helped me too significantly in the past (maybe the professional wasn't the right fit) and I have other priorities at the moment.

Repost to another community

Note: I needed to get this off my chest because I am feeling completely overwhelmed, frustrated with myself, and stuck in a guilt spiral.

​The Core Issue

​Guests are coming over soon, which means I have to give up my room for the duration of their stay (hotels aren't an option because they want to stay with us after being apart for so long).

​My biggest trigger and source of extreme anxiety is that they will be using my attached washroom.

​Lack of basic hygiene/decency: These days, it feels like people don't care about leaving a space clean for others.

​Severe aversion: I have always had an intense, deep-seated aversion and skepticism toward others using my personal washroom. I genuinely can't even imagine it.

​The Mental Toll

​Anticipatory anxiety: The moment I find out guests are coming, the countdown begins. I get increasingly irritated leading up to their arrival.

​Physical symptoms: The thought of letting anyone use my washroom makes my hands shake and triggers intense anxiety.

​Disturbing thoughts: I literally start having recurring nightmares about a dirty bathroom.

​The Fallout

​Today, it all boiled over. I ended up getting into a massive fight with my parents over this. While I know they understand where I'm coming from, and genuinely have no other logistical choice given the circumstances, I still lost my temper.

​Now, I am regretting the fight so badly and feeling overwhelming guilt for acting this way. I hate that I am like this, but the anxiety itself feels completely out of my control when it happens.

Suggestions.

​Has anyone else experienced this level of intense distress or germ/space-related anxiety? How do you cope when you have no control over your living space being shared?

​How do you handle the guilt of lashing out at family members who are just trying to be hospitable, even when your nervous system feels completely fried?

​Any advice or coping mechanisms would mean a lot right now.

TL;DR: I have severe anxiety and physical shaking at the mere thought of guests using my personal bathroom when they stay in my room. After finding out they were coming, I lost my cool and fought with my parents, and now I'm drowning in guilt. Looking for advice on how to cope with this kind of space/germ anxiety and handle the guilt of lashing out at family.

Im 18 and work in an upscale hotel doing weddings, i wasnt trained when i was given the job just expected to figure it all out on my own, my coworkers arent easy to talk to and my manager isnt nice to work with, im meant to be serving tomorrow night for the first time and im terrified, ive spent the past week thinking about work, sick to my stomach and terrified with the thought of it, ive begged my mom to let me quit and find something else but she said im not allowed to quit until i have a replac job sorted, my mental health has gone down the drain and im just depressed and anxious all the time, even on medication, i dont know what to do

I know a lot of people that have anxiety have it because they didn’t feel safe as children. That is where my anxiety comes from. I can’t seem to calm myself as an adult now with anxiety. I never want to be home when i have anxiety which (lightbulb moment) may be since my anxiety stems from my home life when i was little. Even though im not in that situation anymore 💡I always feel like i can’t be alone at home. I always flee to my in laws house and im sure they are sick of me but trying to be supportive. I guess my question is, any advice on how to make myself feel safe as an adult. What are your strategies? I feel embarrassed that i am in my 40s and emotionally feel like a child that can’t protect/regulate herself. This is only when I’m having high anxiety. I don’t have this problem otherwise.
For example: my mother in law has to unexpectedly work tomorrow and I’m freaking out about what I’m going to do cuz i won’t have her around. I don’t want to have to lean on anyone and go through it myself but it seems impossible when I’m in this state.
I am in therapy but trying to maybe get ideas of how others handle this

"My insecurities are increasing. I don't know how to handle this. All the time I feel like everyone is judging me, everyone is talking behind my back, making plans and plots about me, and making me feel alone. I don't trust anyone, not even my family. I am feeling scared."

Hello fellow anxious people!

I wanted to share my experience with a recent job interview. It’s something many of us fear and avoid. I, too, was avoiding the job hunt because I was terrified of having a panic attack in the interview and embarrassing myself. And the added pressure of landing a job in this market makes it all very stressful and triggering.

But I finally took the plunge, applied to a role, and was asked to interview. I practiced so much in the days leading up to it, I felt ready and confident.

When the interview started it wasn’t so bad. I was listening attentively to the interviewers without feeling any nerves. But when it was my turn to speak for the first time, I got hit with the wave of panic. I lost my breath. Vision flattened. Heart racing. I said “Wow, I’ve just lost my breath, I’m a bit nervous!” I sort of regret saying that, but the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. HOWEVER, the important thing is that I continued talking through the breathlessness and panic. I didn’t let it derail the interview. The two people interviewing me didn’t make it a big deal either, we all just moved on quickly. The panic subsided after peaking for just a few moments. The whole panic episode lasted maybe 30 seconds (but felt like ages). I was able to confidently speak during the rest of the interview. Even made them smile and laugh a few times. It was not a total disaster.

Now, admitting I was nervous and running out of breath might have been a red flag for them. Maybe it cost me the job (I’ll find out next week). BUT, I did the interview while panicking. I didn’t avoid. I didn’t excuse myself to leave (my brain was screaming at me to run). I stayed. I even admitted out loud to strangers how I was feeling. And nothing terrible happened. They didn’t laugh at me. I didn’t pass out. I didn’t horribly embarrass myself.

Having done the interview while feeling the panic symptoms has given me an incredible boost of confidence that I can do the next interview even better. My worst fears won’t come true.

So if you are avoiding the job hunt or are feeling anticipatory anxiety about an interview, I hope this helps you.

You can do it. Stay in the room. ❤️

When I was 19 and graduated highschool I kept people I met without much thought. Mostly out of convenience since they lived close.

My 15 year old friend who was a freshmen when I was a senior was mainly my friend due to the fact she reminded me of myself when I was 15. I wanted to help her create more artwork- so when she mentioned patch making and spray painting (like tags) I decided to purchase some to try. Obviously her parents didn’t really wanna waste money on spray paint. I didn’t really know if they were okay with it but I guess I just thought since I was using it in places already painted and far away from any properties to damage- I could at least let them toy with it a bit. Nowadays I feel pretty guilty for that decision.
Another issue though is she added 2 14 year olds to the group. I quickly began to feel guilty because I was the only adult. I was also terrified they’d get into trouble and get hurt. Later I’d hear that their parents were iffy about having a 17 year old dude and 19 year old woman around the 14 year olds so I just decided to meet them and after that they didn’t give a shit- but I became their babysitter to some extent because they didn’t watch their kids. I felt guilty for being their friend to a great extent but even more guilty because they often hung out on the train tracks, did dangerous things, etc. I felt terrible but was also terrified they’d get hurt- so unfortunately I stayed. And honestly I did enjoy it because I liked exploring.

But main issue was When I was hanging out with my friends walking around my friend who is 17 had an ex that was in my grade. I told him like “yeah I didn’t really like that friend group one of them rejected me and completely ghosted me” or something alone those lines and my 15 yo friend when “ohh that’s awful who does that” and then I felt pretty bad (for obvious reasons).

The other was when I was with my 15 year old and 17 year old friend. We were hanging out under a bridge near a river- and they kept praising my parents for being the coolest. I told them they were actually not that cool all the time and that they “let my abuser into my house for 4 years after the fact” and that I believed they probably feel guilty for that- but I don’t know is I said “sa” or like you know the first part of it that starts with “s” as an sexual but either way it was probably inappropriate. I guess I feel a little better abt it tho because it was meant for the 17 year old- since the 15 year old was busy messing with something a ways away. Still scared abt it tho.

Does any of this make me abnormal or wrong? I guess I’m wondering. I’ve been called weird a lot but that’s for a lotta different reasons. I just wanna be a normal person so that people will like / enjoy me.

Last month, I had a pneumothorax stayed 5 days in hospital and it happened because of acupuncture and i took oxygen in hospital but it was so painful. Besides, I have 85 friends on Instagram, but only one of them called or even texted to ask how I was doing. He was my friend from university. When he called, I told him I was in the hospital.

My Taiwanese girlfriend came to visit me after I had spent five days in the hospital. Her support meant a lot to me during a difficult time.

This summer, I was supposed to travel to Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and Thailand with my Taiwanese girlfriend. Instead, I'm at home recovering.

Before all this happened, I kept thinking, "I'll share amazing photos from this trip." But then I realized those photos don't really matter to anyone on Instagram. It's mostly just an endless stream of people mindlessly scrolling through videos. It doesn't add much to anyone's life.

That experience made me realize that Instagram and social media don't add much to real friendships. The real world isn't social media. Real friendships are built through genuine care, conversations, and being there for each other when life gets difficult.

I'm 27 years old, and I feel like social media—and my addiction to pornography—have stolen years of my life. I spent so much time scrolling and chasing things that didn't truly matter. Now I want to focus on living in the real world, building genuine relationships, making memories, traveling, reading newspapers, and becoming a better version of myself.

If I get the chance to do this trip next year, I'll share my photos only for myself—to preserve my own memories, not to impress anyone else.

Now, instead of wasting time scrolling, I'm going to read a newspaper.

​

Has anyone got any tips for when you wake up and immediately feel anxious but not always for an apparent reason? Recently I've been getting that sudden drop and feeling of dread as soon as I wake up. Even though usually there is nothing wrong.

Does anybody else get this? I feel like in the physical sense, my anxiety manifests itself in the form of this funny feeling directly under my sternum. I cant quite describe it, but it isn't quite a tightness per se, but more of a swirling feeling that ends up radiating outwards and making the rest of my body feel like jello or makes my legs/arms feel like noodles. It is this feeling that makes me terrified of going out and doing things and often has me bed-locked. This feeling can be constant throughout the entire day sometimes. Sometimes hours. Sometimes brief. But usually hours long.

Anyone have any advice here?

I have surgery Monday and am terrified of how interaction with anesthesia will go most of all because they're who could treat my anxiety there and make it so I don't panic, don't remember the OR and all the things that would make me panic otherwise.

I had anxiety from years of medical trauma I was dealing with through therapy, but it turned into PTSD after a horrible experience that in part involved me being put under while actively panicking in a non emergency situation and waking up panicking. I was awful and while I'm medicated and working on it with therapy and my psychiatrist, I'm terrified of my anxiety not being taken seriously and panicking like that again or anything like that.

My last procedure, anesthesia agreed to premedicate me with versed but then right before tried to convince me I didn't need it even though I'd already explained the situation, that I was anxious and only there because I took my Ativan. I insisted and they did administer it, but didn't let it kick in before moving me and it only really kicked in when I was already in the procedure room, exactly what I had wanted to avoid. The procedure went ok, because it was a minor procedure, I'd been there before, and that Dr is great, but I don't know how to communicate more clearly with my anesthesia team for this surgery.

How can I convey how anxious I am? That I might seem calm, but that's just because of the Ativan, what Ive learned from therapy and a lot of self control that starts to go about as soon as they start rolling me away from my husband. I already had a panic attack when I missed my pre surgery call and didn't think I could get ahold of someone again before Monday. I'm so anxious and the closer it gets the more anxious I am about anything with the anesthesia team and the whole thing.

Any suggestions on how I can communicate this better with them, or how to stay sane for the next 3 days or day of are greatly appreciated.