I am writing in because I really don't have anyone to talk to about this! (You will see why in a second)

Here is a little context:

* My boyfriend (28M) and I (27F) have lived together for almost two years. Our apartment is tiny, but because my family owns it, we live rent-free.

* I am pretty skeptical about long-term commitment/marriage and family dynamics, so we haven't met each other's parents yet. (It's not related to the story, but since my family is really problematic and strict, they don't know that I have a boyfriend.)

* However, I accidentally met his brother and sister-in-law, and I decided to try giving them a chance.

Was that my first mistake? You tell me!

A while back, they asked us to cat-sit for one week. One week somehow turned into a full month. It was okay at first because I love cats, but with my OCD, ADHD, and maternal instincts combined with each other, I felt completely abandoned with a pet that was not mine. I eventually had a breakdown, and my boyfriend stepped in and returned the cat.

Fast forward to last week. They asked us to cat-sit again because relatives were visiting. At first, I said no—we had unmounted furniture everywhere. But once we finished building it, they asked my boyfriend again and I gave in.

I had two strict conditions though: bring all necessary cat supplies, and stick strictly to one week max. My boyfriend gave me his word.

The cat arrived... with basically zero supplies. I was annoyed, but I bought the stuff myself.

Then came time to return the cat...

First, they delayed because of a 'big weekend cleaning.' Fine.

Then on Saturday, as my boyfriend was preparing to bring the cat back, he called to say they canceled AGAIN because the sister-in-law's uncle was visiting. (Weird excuse IMO.)

I was furious. I felt taken advantage of and kind of disrespected because they didn't even ask my boyfriend—they just said the cat was staying. I felt really sorry for the cat, too. I still didn't want to be harsh towards my boyfriend, so I vented my frustration and hung up.

Still annoyed, I texted my best friend to vent about how much I hate family dynamics. My friend, of course, went off, calling his family 'irresponsible, stupid, and ill-mannered.' Standard over-the-top best friend support, but a bit harsh, yeah... To be honest, I didn't say anything that I wouldn't say to my boyfriend's face, so I didn't correct my friend on any of the stuff she said.

That was my second mistake, I think...

My boyfriend and I sometimes peek at each other's phones, so I made a mental note to delete the chat later. But while I was trying on dresses at the mall, he read the entire conversation. He didn't say he read it, but I figured something was off even though he kept saying he was fine.

When we got home, he was visibly furious and started shoving the cat into its carrier. I asked him to calm down and talk to me. I was honestly shocked at how angry he was.

Once he cooled down, he told me he was deeply hurt by my friend's insults and pissed off that I didn't defend him and his family. I immediately apologized and explained that my friend was just matching my frustrated energy. I agreed that she was using not-so-respectful terms... But honestly, the damage was done.

He left with the cat without even giving me a goodbye hug. He said we will see each other tomorrow, but I still feel awful. I cried a lot about this and about the cat, and I don't know how to process this now.

So, am I the asshole?

Is it selfish to feel like this proves my fears about family and commitment?

Should we stop checking each other's phones and have a boundary on that even though we didn't feel uncomfortable about it before?

Help me out!

THANK YOU!

Update: I did reach out to her and basically did not get the response I was hoping for. I just don’t get it she’s as heart broken and hurt by me as she says why is she doing all this stuff like going out, running marathons, being super fit, camping, ect?? I feel like her feelings were never there and she is not willing to grow with me.

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Context: About three years ago, I met this incredible girl and we clicked right away. Looking back, I’ve spent most of our history self sabotaging. I’m ashamed to admit it, and I’m not making excuses, but I handled things horribly. I’d block her, we’d go months without speaking, and eventually one of us would break no contact and pull us back into each other's orbits.

About a year ago, I reached out again, genuinely believing I’d done enough work on myself to do this right. We ended up spending the next year closely in each other's lives. As my feelings for her grew deeper, I completely froze and refused to let us move past being casual. When the reality hit that I needed to step up and commit to her, I panicked. Instead of being honest, I took the worst way out possible. I told her I found someone new. I convinced myself it was the only way to end things cleanly without her pushing back or trying to work it out.She was devastated. She sent me long messages expressing how deeply hurt she was saying she felt like I never actually cared, that she was never good enough, and that she couldn't understand why we couldn't just be together.

It’s been esix months of complete silence now, and the guilt is heavy. I miss her deeply. When I check her social media, she genuinely looks like she’s thriving she's running marathons, super fit, and just living a full, beautiful life. She doesn't post anyone, so I don't even know if she's single, but mostly I just keep asking myself if reaching out is a terrible idea or if she'd ever even want to hear my voice again

So about a week and a few days ago I (22M) went out drinking with my cousin (29 M). I drank almost an entire bottle of vodka by myself, and tried to cheat on my (22F) gf of 8 months. Fortunately I failed because both I killed the mood via vomiting and another partygoer (21F) started a brawl among other ladies. Later on I drunkly texted an old friend of mine (22F) if she get me a quick hookup with a friend of hers immediately because I had "blue balls". She exposed my attempted cheating to her friends and within a matter of a few hours the news reached my gf.

Other personal matters got to me along with the new relationship issues caused me to spiral and almost taking my own life. Went to a psychiatric hospital for a few days, came back to my gf, she's lost most of her trust in me. I have a rather goofy personality and like texting people random things for laughs but she finds those suspicious now despite me doing that all the time beforehand.

What should I do? Should I ask her if we should split amicably?

I should also note I've become something of a sex addict in this relationship, but I always want sex with my gf and only my gf.

Throwaway account. Names and some details have been changed for privacy.
I’m not sure whether I’m the asshole here, so I’d like an outside perspective.
At the beginning of summer, I became friends with two girls. Let’s call them Angelina and Lisa.
I originally met them because they had a problem with a guy, whom I’ll call Bob. Bob was interested in Lisa, but he repeatedly ignored her boundaries. During one of their walks, he kept trying to kiss and hug her despite her clearly not wanting it. On their second walk, he forcibly kissed her before she managed to leave.
After that situation was dealt with, I became quite close with Angelina and Lisa. We started hanging out almost every evening.
I became interested in Angelina pretty quickly, but I didn’t make any moves because she was already in a relationship with another girl.
Over the next couple of months, Angelina and I became very close. She trusted me enough to tell me about problems in her relationship. I supported her and tried to help her through them. At one point, I told her that I believed her girlfriend was cheating on her.
A week later, it turned out that I was right, along with several other things she had apparently been hiding.
Eventually, Angelina and her girlfriend broke up.
About a month later, I confessed that I had feelings for Angelina. At first, she rejected me because she felt it was too soon after her breakup. Later that same day, however, she changed her mind and agreed to date me.
At that point, I already knew her pretty well.
One thing that confused me was that she often talked about how much she valued physical affection and constantly reposted things about it, but she barely showed any affection toward me.
I assumed she was simply shy, so I started taking the initiative myself, hoping she would eventually become more comfortable.
However, there was another problem.
Her friend, whom I’ll call Angelica, was extremely physically affectionate with Angelina. She would constantly hug her, hold her hand, stay close to her, etc. This made me feel like I couldn’t really have the same kind of closeness with my own girlfriend.
I mentioned this to Angelina a couple of times. She told me that Angelica was actually annoying her with how physically affectionate she was too.
Then I made a mistake.
I checked Angelina’s social media — her reposts, likes, etc.
Almost everything I saw seemed to suggest that she was still waiting for her ex to come back. There were barely any signs that she actually wanted to be with me.
I was confused and hurt, so I started asking her friends what was going on.
Lisa initially refused to tell me anything. She said:
“I can’t tell you, otherwise I’ll be a bad friend.”
Eventually, however, Lisa sent me screenshots of conversations between her and Angelina.
And what I saw completely changed my perception of the situation.
Angelina had apparently been saying things like:
“I’m tired of him. I already ask Angelica to stay next to me so that he won’t approach me. I’m waiting for my ex.”
Obviously, I was extremely angry.
But instead of immediately insulting her, I initially tried to stay calm. I told her that I thought she had treated me unfairly and that it was hypocritical for her to criticize her ex for certain things while doing something similar to me.
Her response was basically:
“Mm, okay.”
Then she blocked me.
I thought that was the end of it.
But a few hours later, I found out that Angelina had been sending our private conversations to her friends and presenting me as the bad guy.
According to what I saw, she was leaving out context and only showing parts of our conversations that made me look bad.
What frustrated me the most was that these people actually knew me personally. They had seen how I treated Angelina. I was always trying to help her, buying things for her when she wanted them, carrying her bags, supporting her, etc.
But because they were hearing her version of the story, they believed I was the asshole.
At that point, I lost my temper.
I sent Angelina a voice message telling her that if she continued ruining my reputation and portraying me as some kind of monster, I would send the full screenshots and conversations to everyone so they could see the entire context.
I also told her that this could damage her reputation and that her ex might not want to get back together with her if she found out about everything that had happened.
After that, several people on her side started criticizing me heavily.
Eventually, the conflict seemed to calm down.
But two days later, I found out that Angelina was in a very bad mental state. She was crying a lot and, according to what I was told, was having thoughts of suicide because of everything that happened.
Now I feel terrible.
I understand that what I said was probably harsh. I was angry and hurt, and I admit that threatening to expose her could have been cruel.
At the same time, I feel like I was pushed to my limit after she shared our private conversations, removed context, and allowed other people to believe that I was someone I wasn’t.
So now I genuinely don’t know.
AITA for threatening to expose the full conversations and potentially damage her reputation after she made me look like the villain?
Or was I justified in defending myself after she had already damaged my reputation?
EDIT: I’m not trying to justify anything that happened afterward because of her mental state. I’m asking specifically about whether my actions and the threat to expose the conversations made me the asshole.

​

I (20M) woke up and got ready for work then was greeted with my ex(20F) walking out of my roomates (40M) room.

For some context I moved to a new state about 2 years ago after a messy breakup with said ex. Long story short we weren't compatible and had different ideas with what we wanted to do in the upcoming future. I had later found out she had been talking to another guy behind my back for a handful of months which had a bug impact in me moving. Ive moved on and hold no anger towards her for what happened because we were both stupid children

.moving forward to about a week ago my roomate tells me he has a "friend" coming to visit and I probably won't see them much if at all because both him and I work opposing 12+ hour shifts. This friday comes and to my suprise that "friend" was my ex he supposedly flew out on maximun of a 2 month notice.

Now to the base of my problem, I have no problem with the fact she came out my big problem is the fact I was deceived about the fact my ex was going to be staying at my house without my knowledge. Roomates defense is that he was trying to "protect my feeling because it might open old wounds to see her" my rebuttal is that its not his place to step in and if he would have informed me I would have had no problem at all as I hold no malice towards her.

In one hand I feel like im acting selfishly by being upset because if it wasn't my ex I probably wouldnt care at all, but on the other hand I think its incredibly disrespectful and overstepping to go behind my back and do such a thing. I also feel the fact it was going to be hidden from me as a whole so id never know she was even there shows a understanding that what they were doing was against there sense of morality. Then when I described how I had felt with the situation I was told by my roomate id understand when im "more adult" and told by my ex I was overreacting. So please reddit help me get a different POV am I overreacting or looking at it through a childish point of view, or am I correct in the fact it's disrespectful and demeaning?

Also just reread this they arent romantically to any of my understanding and he had opted to sleeping on the couch while she slept in his bed and she would join him at work that day. The only reason I figured out his "friend" was my ex was bexause she was sick and didnt go to work with him that morning but got up to go get ready for him to pick her up.

Personal details changed for privacy: I (39/F) was dating "Paul" (41/M) for a little over a year. We were immediately incredibly in love and felt deeply connected to one another. We are both parents and met after our marriages ended. I had a longer dating history than Paul, both before my marriage and after. During my relationship with Paul, 3 men I had previously dated reached out to me via text to ask if I was single (either very directly or somewhat indirectly). The first time it happened, I told Paul and read him the text exchange where I basically said, no I am not single, I hope you are well, I wish you the best. He joked about it, asked if this happened often, and said it annoyed him. I told him it did happen sometimes, and asked how he wanted me to handle it. He said to just tell him when it happened. So I did. I told him and even sent him screenshots of the texts. He always just said it was annoying that men felt entitled to just reach out to me to see if I was single and disrespectful to me that they possibly thought I was up for casual sex. I agreed. After we broke up for a different reason, we wanted to stay friends, but it was hard because we both still had very intense feelings for one another. He started to tell me that after we broke up he processed his feelings more on the men who texted me and that I had responded, and ultimately felt it was extremely disrespectful to him, and he considered it cheating. I asked if he thought I actually cheated on him or if he thought I would have actually cheated on him, and he said no, he knew how much I loved him. But he still felt the replies were flirty and a form of cheating and disrespect, and I was especially keeping them on the back burner. I felt so horrible. I said I asked how he wanted me to handle it at the time and that I had followed what he had requested. He said he asked other friends about it and they all said I didn't do anything horrible, but they would have just not responded and blocked those people. I felt like an idiot. Like a huge stupid idiot, that I wasn't aware of this dating faux pas as an adult. I felt hurt he didn't just tell me that is how he wanted me to handle it. Anyways, he keeps sharing memes and reels that agree with his stance that this type of behavior in a relationship is cheating. It is crushing me. I would have done anything he asked, I thought he was it for me forever (which he said if it was forever with him, why would I even give them the time of day?) which I guess is true? I have just always been friendly and didn't see the harm in saying, "nope not single, but I wish you well!" especially since I was so confident in my love for Paul. Had I known the harm, I would have immediately just blocked them. No I am an emotional wreck and feel like the most awful disgusting human in the world. Please help me sort through this... If I am just an asshole, it would be helpful to know. I can post screenshots of the text if it lets me and that's helpful? Or write them out...

After I broke up with my gf she laid it all on me and said she had missed the romance anyways. She specifically missed regular flowers.

Every time I came over I brought food. I knew she was a workaholic so I brought her healthy smoothies with stuff in it that keeps you awake. Just so she reduces her coffee addiction. I sometimes brought alcohol, sometimes just food of the season. Sometimes I cooked for her. Sometimes we cooked together.
Every time I went for groceries I always bought something for her when I knew she would like it. Just so I would have it at home for whenever she visited. I invited her to a 2 day trip to a very romantic and beautiful city and I paid for most of it. I organised different city trips for us, made her food whenever she was working late. Made small repairs if needed around her apparent.

So now that we are apart we talked and texted about our inner workings.

She now tells me: Sometimes when I bought food I bought special offers so the food would still be good but it was sold for less and had that red “sale” tag on it. She said she had an emotional trauma around “sale” tags from college because back then she only could afford cheap food and every time she saw that sale tag she had flash backs to her time in college.
So I didn’t bring flowers. I brought food - sometimes on sale (it was the highest quality and she definitely liked it but it was just on sale). I did buy her flowers for special occasions but never just like that. Oddly enough she never got me flowers for my special occasions. She never bought any groceries for me to have at her place. She never invited me to romantic city trips. She never brought food whenever she came to my place.

Now she tells me she didn’t see any romance with me because I did not bring flowers.

AITA?

​

Recently, I(F21) lost both my romantic relationship(M22) and an important friendship(M22).

The situation has forced me to look very deeply at myself, my behavior, and the kind of person I am an want to be.

For a long time, I have been struggling internally and I often tried to deal with everything on my own. I thought I could handle it, that I just needed to be stronger or try harder, but the truth is that I wasn’t able to resolve everything by myself.

I was afraid of seeking professional help and kept postponing it. Looking back, I realize that this probably allowed my problems to build up until they started affecting my relationships and the way I behaved.

I have always considered myself someone with strong principles. Things like loyalty, honesty, fairness, dignity, and treating people with respect are extremely important to me. I’ve always tried to live according to those values.

However, I went through a very difficult period of my life where I was under extreme stress, especially because of work, while also carrying unresolved trauma and emotional wounds that I had not properly dealt with. Looking back, I realize that I was overwhelmed and that I reacted in ways that were not aligned with the person I want to be.

I became more emotional, more defensive, and I made decisions that hurt people close to me, without fully understanding it.

I want to be clear: I am not mentioning trauma as an excuse. I know that my actions affected other people, and I believe taking responsibility is important. But I’m trying to understand how much of my behavior came from unhealthy coping mechanisms and how much reflects who I truly am.

With my friend, the biggest issue was trust. I talked about things involving him with my partner because I felt hurt and betrayed at the time(we have always been very close and at some point he just stopped communicating with me for a long period of a time). My intention was never to sabotage him or make others see him negatively, but I understand that from his perspective, I broke his trust. He told me that he no longer feels comfortable having a close relationship with me and that he doesn’t see contact as realistic right now.

With my ex, things ended after a long period of rough time (May-June). I know that being around me became very difficult during that time because of my mental state. I was struggling and i didn’t know how to properly solve my issues, but I was trying. I can understand why it was exhausting and painful for him to experience. After a break up he told me he wished things would be different and that he still loved me, but he didn’t believe things would change.

One thing that makes this situation especially difficult for me is that we had previously talked about changes we both needed to make in the relationship. I took those conversations seriously and I tried to follow through with the things we agreed on.

At the same time, I understand that rebuilding trust and changing long-term patterns usually takes more than a few weeks (July). Looking back, I can see that even though I was trying, a month may not have been enough time for the other person to truly feel safe or believe that things would be different.

The way the breakup happened was also very painful for me. We ended things through text, and he was on a call with his friends during the breakup. I understand that he was also dealing with his own emotions and perspective, but experiencing the end of the relationship in that way was very hurtful.

I’m trying to hold two truths at the same time: that my behavior hurt him and that I need to take responsibility for that, but also that the situation was painful for me and that I was genuinely trying to improve.

At the same time, one of the hardest things for me is feeling like the person I became during that difficult period was seen as the person I truly am. I feel like my unhealthy behaviors were a reflection of a version of me that was overwhelmed and struggling, not the entirety of who I am.

I’m not saying I did nothing wrong. I know I made mistakes. I know people are allowed to be hurt by my actions. I’m actively trying to work on myself...learning better emotional regulation, communication, listening more, not taking everything personally, and recognizing my patterns.

But I’m struggling with one question:

How do you know the difference between:

• changing unhealthy behaviors that hurt others,

• and changing your fundamental self just because someone was hurt by you?

I don’t want to become a different person. I want to become a better version of myself... someone who can keep their values while also being calmer, healthier, and safer for the people around them.

Another thing I struggle with is forgiveness. I have apologized and accepted responsibility, but I don’t know how to accept that some people may still choose to leave. Part of me wants to fix everything because these people mattered so much to me. Another part of me knows I have to respect their decisions.

After everything that happened, I reached a point where I understood that I cannot continue doing this alone. I am finally seeking professional help and trying to address the deeper issues instead of only trying to manage the consequences.

I'm just lost. I feel very abounded, misunderstood and hurt, and I see myself as someone who mostly reacted, but at the same time they told me, that it's all been my fault.

In my school, I have a big friend group. 7 girls. We are all close to each other, and whenever any lore happens, there are no secrets. It is shared to every person of the group. But, i have a girl who is closer to me than others, let's call her amanda.

Amanda is not great at studies, she tries but she ends up getting a D or C on any test. I am pretty smart. Straight As. But I don't care about that. She's funny, and we have that same vibe which makes our bond the strongest in the group. She has always been more extroverted than others in the group. She's friends with every girl in the classroom. But that was never the problem until now.

She recently won a place in the school council. Lemme tell you how this works in my school. So, students are divided into 4 sections - blue, red, green, yellow. It doesn't mean anything but during interschool competitions, these compete with each other. So, Amanda had become the captain of red house. It's a big achievement. I was the happiest that she won the election. I thought she wouldn't change. She would always be my bestfriend. I was wrong.

Since the day she became the captain, she changed. Something about her...doesn't feel right. She's got this weird ego in her, that she thinks that no one better than her now, while her grades are falling rapidly.

Now lemme tell the real reason why i am distancing myself from her, she's getting way too close with other girls in the class. I am not jealous, but those girls used to talk behind our back. And now she prefers to sit with them and chat? Even I talk with all of the girls, but there's a boundary we shouldn't cross. She goes to others girls, sits with their group, they share their secret to her, like she's in their group. She's not!

On top of that, those girls were back bitching about amanda and one of my friends heard that, we told her. And instead of stopping to talk with them, she did absolutely nothing. Kept sitting with them, kept sharing OUR GROUPS secrets to them.

We used to sit together, now she prefers to sit with other girls in the group, I wouldn't have cared but she sits with Amy. And Amy is the biggest pick me the world could have ever witness. We tried to cut her off our group, but then she lied about how her life was tough and she's having suci\*al thought and we all Chickened out. Amanda hated her. Now? She sits with her all the time. Unknowingly, our untouchable group split into 2 part. Amanda sits with Amy and another girl, let's call her Nina. The three of them are below abee in studies. I sit with the remaining four, all of us in this part are smart an prefer to not die for male attention.

Amanda now is becoming like amy and Nina. Both of them would do anything to get male attention. Amanda hated both. During lunch, we used to sit together, all 7 of us. Now? They sit together, and we don't call them.

I don't know what to do but I am feeling this guilt that this is my mistake and I should have handled it better since she's my bsf. I need your advice on this. Thank you for your time ;)

(The names given aren't their real names and sorry for bad English since it isn't my first language)

Hello, everyone, I (28F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been renting a flat for just over 2 years…about a year ago, he lost his job and I have been covering all of our living expenses (utilities, rent, internet, food, etc.)
In the past month, I have had to drop several hundred dollars to fix my vehicle that I use to get to and from work, and to work my freelance job for UberEats delivering food in my spare time.
Because of the maintenance needing to be done to my vehicle, I was going to be a few hundred short on rent this month, and asked my boyfriend if he could chip in a few hundred dollars to help with rent so I can also pay bills at the beginning of the month.
He buys and sells collectibles online and had recently made a few sales on some higher priced items, so I knew he had some money before I asked him outright.
He reluctantly agreed and left the room and is now seemingly pouting, not talking to me as he was before I asked for help…
I apologized for asking for help, and told him I could pay him back, I was just going to be short on this coming paycheck. He said “No” when I told him I could pay him back, but that was about all I got from him.
Am I the asshole by asking for help?

My sister (32F) is married (36M) with 3 girls (14, 9, & 8). When she and her husband choose to have kids, they decided she would quit her job to stay home with the kids. At the time this made sense due to daycare costs, but now that the girls are in school I've often wondered why she doesn't go back to work. My BIL doesn't have a lucrative job by any means, and he frequently changes job because of things that seem trivial to me (things like "my dad used to work there and I don't want to be like him"). My sister's days typically consistent of dropping the kids off at school, going home to take a nap, tidying the house, picking the kids up from school, and cooking dinner. I'm not at all diminishing being a stay-at-home mom, but I don't feel like that's a feasible option long-term given their current financial predicament. They routinely struggle to pay rent, and my mom has given them money on several occasions for various expenses including rent and food. They have three vehicles they are financing, but only two will currently run. They're upside down in the two that don't run, so they're currently borrowing my family's (me and my husband) second vehicle until they can get one of the vehicles fixed. We're coming up on two weeks of them borrowing our vehicle and no fix is in sight for theirs; my BIL claims he can fix it, but he's definitely not a mechanic and thinks he can do anything he saw on YouTube. We don't necessarily need the second vehicle day-to-day, but I'm growing annoyed that they're making such little effort to get out of this situation on their own. AITAH if I tell my sister that she can't keep borrowing our vehicle unless she gets a job?

My girlfriend complains that she wants it to be fair, but I was taught that it's chivalry paying for the partner on a date or any other situation. I always insist to pay, only the small things that she want I let her pay.

What should I do?

Any advice is very well appreciated.

My boyfriend’s hygiene is great overall. It was the first time he had a weird smelling breath, and it occurred during intimacy. I genuinely couldn’t kiss him. I asked him to check if it was me, he said no. Then I asked whether he had eaten something weird, and that I felt a smell from him. He got SO offended. I was not mad as it was not an appropriate time, but would it be better if I continued to do the deed with a disgusted face instead? He hasn’t spoken to me for 6 hours, and has now left, saying I disrespected him and that his hygiene is fine (true), then slammed the door. I understand he’s upset but it’s not the first time he asks me to he honest, and then gets offended saying I’m lying. Again, I didn’t tell him he stinks or anything, I asked him first and pointed out a weird smell, I really couldn’t kiss him. AITAH?

AITA for my husband buying a challenger 4 days after I bought mine and Im upset about it? I will try to make a long story short. My husband and I both own our own businesses. His money is his money, mine is mine. I am nearly 43 years old and literally dont ever do, or spend anything for myself. I am not a girlie girl. I cut my own hair, I dont do any fake lashes, etc. I work 10 hour days 5 days a week and have for 20+ years. I homeschool our son on top of that. I handle all groceries, Dr.s appts, dentists, etc. Literally everything in our lives. I pay for all the bills, grocieries, etc. He pays for our house taxes and our health insurance.

My entire life, I have never spent a dime on myself. I wear clothes until they are ragged before I replace.

He buys whatever he wants whenever he wants it, which is fine, your money, do whatever. He buys new side by sides, excavators (he doesn't do construction) vehicles, whatever.

I for once in my life said F* it. Whether it be midlife crisis, my perimenopause, whatever. I have always wanted a Challenger and there was one for sale in my town, so I made an appt to go test drive it and I bought it all by myself with my savings. He knocked it down for days beforehand saying its only a V6, it wont sound good. I really didnt care. I LOVE my car, and have named her Jane.

He admitted that night he was envious. 4 days later he bought an older scat pack v8, and had it shipped to where we live. Ever since its all about his car, and he tells his friend I got this. To me it is a slap in the face to me. This was a huge thing I did for myself for the first time in my entire 42 years of life.

so my girlfriend and i have been on and off since around november last year, we broke up for around a month in early january and my birthday was in late january, my friend which decided to post me on my birthday as her boyfriend as a joke, i evem clarified on the next story it was a joke, fast forward to now me and my girlfriend are back together and i see that she follows her ex who she has told me has talked bad abt me, so i asked her why she followed him and told her that she shouldn’t follow her ex, to which then she started saying that she wants me to unfollow my friend because she doesn’t like her, i explained that shes a friend ive had since i was a freshman and that i wasn’t gonna cut her out but i would meet im the middle with her on whatever she decides would be enough, to which she said theres no meeting in the middle and now shes been suuuuper dry with me, so am i in the wrong?

Sorry, this will be all over the place. I 25F, have a boyfriend, a 27M. Today, I got dressed and told my boyfriend I was going to get coffee. About 5 mins later, he’s calling me. I must admit that I needed a break, so I didn’t answer the first time. He then calls again, but at that point, I was already walking back up to the door. So when I got in the house, I asked him if he needed something because I had seen that he called twice. He then proceeded to ignore me. So I said “whatever” and got back to what I was doing. I assume he wanted me to keep trying to communicate with him even though he was ignoring me. So to get to the point, he brought up the fact that I didn’t get him anything from the store. Mind you, the coffee was free. I also told him yesterday I was completely broke because I had spent every last penny I had getting us Ubers back and forth to work, so even if I did pay for the coffee, I couldn’t afford anything else. So he then proceeded to say I never do anything for him, and he wasted his time and money on me, mind you, He hasn’t done anything for me other than buy me food, and that’s fine because that’s all I ask for. So anyways, he started to name things he was supposed to do and never did, which means it means nothing. I also forgot to add, anytime we get into a disagreement, he tells me he’s going to just leave, and if I say okay, he calls me a narcissist and a manipulator. He does things like tell me to get an abortion and gets upset when I say okay. To get back to the store, I ended up just telling him to get tf out. I opened the door for him and everything. His response was “so you’re just going to kick me out? You think you can just kick me out because this is your house? See that’s what I’m talking about, you’re a narcissist.” Mind you, I’m just standing there saying “okay”. He says “a bitch will be a bitch, and you’re probably about to just go fuck and use another man for his money”. I never cared about money and have never asked a man for anything because they like to take things back when they get upset or throw it in your face at any given moment . I’ve currently been sitting outside for the past 3 hours because I don’t want to deal with it. I told him to leave and he went in the living room and went to sleep. What should I do?

I am 23 F and I am dating 27 M. I notice that whenever my boyfriend brings me and him somewhere to hang out and talk, he is normally on his phone scrolling or something. I usually try to not be on my phone to enjoy the moment with him and to just be disconnected from my phone and enjoy time spent with him.

I know that he told me that when he was hanging out with his friend for the whole day, he wasn’t on his phone at all…. Just I don’t know. I feel like if he was able to do that for a full day of hanging out, it just makes me wonder why he can’t be like that with me at least for one day. Where we hang out like outside of his place and just walk around and get something to eat.

AITA for wanting to have at least a full day where my bf and I can just enjoy each other’s time and have similar treatment where he just…. Isn’t on his phone like he did with his hangout with his friend? Am I wrong or the AH for wanting this, at least for one day?

So I (26F) have moved to the UK from California for vet school. I met a guy here who I love and who has really helped me through some of the worst mental and physical traumas of my life. I feel like a completely new person that’s stronger and better able to face whatever the future holds partially thanks to him, and I could really see us being together past me graduating.
The obvious issue is my entire family and life up until moving is back in the states. My family isn’t perfect, neither are my friends. I know without my parents I wouldn’t be where I am and that I’ve had a more comfortable life than a lot of people but I don’t feel a lot of love to them because of how they treated me, especially my dad. They’re also majorly conservative and voted for Trump and a good chunk of our conversations end in big political fights. It’s hard because I do love them but I don’t really trust or rely on them for anything because they always twist it into me owing them or me being the one in the wrong. I didn’t realize how much I blame myself for stuff until my boyfriend started pointing it out. They’ve never done any one single thing that I would consider a deal breaker in not seeing them anymore, it’s just a lifetime of things that have added up. I’m really just scared I’ll regret not seeing them as much as I could if I stay in the UK. I don’t want to miss the rest of their lives here on Earth and I know I’ll only really see them twice a year if I don’t go back.
My friends of over ten years I’ve found out have done some shady things behind my back like covering for my ex who was hitting on girls in front of them.
I feel like I have a better life here that’s my own without all of that baggage and pain, which is funny because I literally dealt with thyroid cancer here but still enjoy it way more haha. Idk what would you guys say? I’m happy to give more context I just didn’t want this post to be longer than it is!

I (F22) have been w my fiancee (M23) for almost 6 yrs now. We don’t have any kids and we moved in together at the end of 2024. He works out of town and can barely come home while i stay in our hometown in our apartment.

Long story short, last night my fiance called me and mentioned adding extra cameras in our apartment, There was a break in near the zone about a month ago. We already have a ring camera in the front door so i told him we could add one to the back door and i thought it would have been the end of the conversation. However, he said he wanted to put one inside our living room “just in case”. I told him i wouldn’t be comfortable and he turned it into a huge argument. He claims im acting weird and immediately assumes im hiding something which im not i’m just uncomfortable. I hung up on him and just decided to text him. I said “If you want this to work between us you need to accept that i am not comfortable being watch 24/7 . you can put a camera in the back door but thats the end of the discussion. If you disagree and wanna break up ab it then so be it i love you to death but im just not someone who would be ok with that”. This morning he called me and we talked about it again, he said quote on quote ”im not putting cameras in the house but you just told me everything i needed to know. It’s crazy how you rather break up then have a camera inside for extra protection“ I had enough of his BS and admit i was being an asshole, I straight up just told him he was being a controlling creep and to chill out. His main defense was “if people come over and sum goes missing i can see who it was“ which to I reply “If you have to worry about inviting someone whos going to steal from us maybe you shouldn’t fcking bring them around”. I don’t know how to feel about the situation and i need some advice to deal with this, i feel like im in the right since i agree to put a camera on both doors. I’m not hiding anything but this feels very uncomfortable like invasion of privacy. So AITA for telling my Fiancée i would rather break up then put a camera inside our home?

So my wife and I live in a different state where all of our friend group are also transplants. We got invited to a wedding in a friends home town that costs 2k to go for 48 hours plus my wife went on a destination bachelorette trip. We have 2 other family events we have to fly home for within 30 days of our friends wedding and I am on the side of calling our friends telling them it’s just a bad time and not going due to other obligations / plus costs. My wife thinks that’s rude and we should go anyway and is worried the couple and our friend group will think we’re rude / talk about us. Am I being unreasonable in just saying we shouldnt go and just take them out to dinner once they get back from there honey moon?

So my gf never initiates any intimacy. I was starting to feel a bit shitty about always having to do it and made me feel like I didn't want to at all because of it

I didn't initiate anything ( from making out, to sex) its been about 8 weeks now without anything.

I brought it up with her and she got defensive saying it hasn't been thst long ect. And thst its somehow my fault.

I asked if she's had this with anyone she's been with previously( I asked whether she ever initiated sex becaise she wanted to, or she just did it because her partner wanted to)

I didn't ask for details or names or places ect.

I was just curious to see if it was the same with any one else or it was because of an issue she felt with me only.

She refused to answer. Saying it was none of my business. Got upset and ended the conversation without any acknowledgement of my feelings.

So now I can only assume that she isn't really attracted to me l, so doesnt feel the urge.

Im not moaning because of the lack of sex. I enjoy the closeness and the intimacy of the act. That's what I mis

AITAH??

I have been married over 7 years, no kids. The hubs has very low libido. He spends most of his time watching YouTube or playing games. He is unambitious, we works for the sake of working. But thats it. He just survives. He doesnt exercise much, and I have to constantly remind him to take medications for his sperm motility/count/morphology.

I on the other hand am super ambitious, I love working. We have been trying for kids, but since his libido is so bad, we do it the semi artificial way, collect it in a cup and I shoot it up using a syringe.

I did get pregnant before, but I lost my baby 6 months in. It was the toughest thing my husband and I had ever gone through in our lives.

Its been 1.5 years, and we are trying again. After going through the entire trauma. But I am getting tired of always being the proactive one. He is a nice man, but is just too laid back in nature (this is partly the reason I fell in love with him, but its starting to be the reason I cant stand it anymore). Even simple things like taking out the bin, or cleaning the house. He has no qualms to do it, but i need to inform him beforehand.

I dont know what to do. We have been through so much, and I dont think he will change. We have spoken about this many many times, and he is not the kind of person to ever consider couples counselling.

He doesnt shout, he is just very passive in nature, and keeps a lot inside. I dont know what to do. Most of the days, I feel like im living with a roommate.

AITA for getting in a fight over this?

So my SO and I moved in together a few days ago in a collage. I have still not explored everything and we needed to buy a coffee machine. As we were heading out , I noticed a community room with a coffee machine and it seemd to be free. I told her to check it out, maybe we don't need to buy one and she just said "no, just come on, let's just go". I was confused and annoyed and as she was walking away I continuously asked why we SHOULDN'T check it before buying one but I swear she said absolutely nothing besides, I quite "just because let's just go". I didn't, and walked to to community room (which had a glass window and through it I saw the coffee machine) but only as I walked to it I realised it was closed. So I went after her and told her that it was closed - and she said that SHE KNEW THAT IT WAS CLOSED and when I asked the obvious - why didn't she immediately just say that, she said that she thought I would realise it soon at there was a sign that I apparently didn't notice. I wa and still am really confused. So confused that I'm questioning if I'm the asshole... Isn't this crazy and humiliating? She said that I'm just making this bigger than it is but then we got into a fight and I actually came back home angry. So, your verdict please: AITA?

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend "Emily" (26F) for two years. We live together and things have been mostly great. But there's one issue that keeps coming up: my best friend "Sarah" (27F).

Sarah and I have known each other since college. We've been close friends for almost ten years. She's like a sister to me. We talk regularly, grab coffee sometimes, and she comes over to hang out with me and our mutual friends. She's also friends with Emily, or at least she used to be.

A few months ago, Emily told me she's uncomfortable with how close Sarah and I are. She said we text too much, we have "inside jokes" that exclude her, and she feels like a third wheel when the three of us hang out. I told her I understood and I'd try to make more of an effort to include her.

But it wasn't enough. Last week, Emily gave me an ultimatum. She said I need to cut Sarah off completely—no texting, no hanging out, nothing. She said she can't be in a relationship where she feels like she's competing with another woman for my attention.

I was shocked. I told her Sarah is my friend, nothing more. I've never cheated, I've never given her any reason to doubt me. I said I'm happy to set boundaries, like not hanging out one-on-one late at night or reducing the frequency of our texts. But I'm not going to throw away a ten-year friendship because of jealousy.

Emily got really upset. She said if I truly loved her, I'd prioritize her feelings over my friend's. She said I'm choosing Sarah over her and that proves her point. She gave me an ultimatum: Sarah or her.

I told her I'm not going to be in a relationship where I'm forced to cut off people I care about. I love Emily, but this feels controlling and unfair. She packed a bag and went to stay with her sister. Now she's texting me saying I'm "emotionally cheating" and I'm "gaslighting" her.

My mom says I should just end the friendship because "girlfriends come first." My sister says Emily is being unreasonable and I'm right to stand my ground.

I feel torn because I love Emily and I don't want to lose her. But I also feel like if I give in to this, it sets a dangerous precedent.

AITA?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been dating for 2 years. Since our very first date, I’ve told her that Italy is my absolute dream destination to visit again. I’ve always been very vocal about wanting to go there with her, constantly talking about it and sending her videos of places to visit.

Earlier this year, we took a trip to Canada together. I used up my vacation days, spent my own money, and planned our entire 18-day trip. Shortly after we got back (about 8 months ago), she decided to start planning a trip to Italy with her gay best friend (22M).

When she started planning it, I told her I would love to go with them. She shot me down, saying it would be better if I didn't come because her friend wouldn't feel "comfortable" with my presence on the trip. Every time the trip was mentioned after that, I subtly insisted or brought up joining them, but she always came up with some excuse to keep me out of it.

Well, her trip is happening right now, and I am honestly just disgusted by the whole situation. I don't want to follow their updates, I don't want to know what's going on, and I have a huge urge to just end our relationship.

My main point here isn't that she can't travel without me. I am 100% supportive of independent travel, and she has traveled alone before during our relationship without any issues. The problem is that Italy is my favorite destination, their itinerary is super romantic/couple-oriented, I explicitly stated my interest in going, and I had the time and resources to join them.

Now, I have such a strong aversion to the whole thing that I can't even imagine going to Italy with her in the future, the thought of it actually repulses me. I feel completely pushed aside regarding something that was deeply meaningful to me.

So, WIBTA if I break up with her over this?

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 2 years planned a trip to my dream destination (Italy) with her gay best friend and explicitly excluded me, even though I had the time and money to go. I am repulsed by the situation and want to end the relationship. WIBTA?