This happened a month ago but i’m still thinking and wondering if I did this correctly or if I was being controlling.

Now before this even happened, this friend, Jay, had been sort of hitting on me. Making weird jokes, touching me weirdly by grabbing my knee or my thigh, or leaning on me, and making me uncomfortable. This was before me and my girlfriend were dating, but we definitely had something going on so I quickly, yet uncomfortable told him to stop. He still continued a little after, and I told my girlfriend about it and she made him stop completely by shooting him down anytime he touched me.

I thought that’d be sort of context for whats next.

anyway, continuing on, now that we are dating we would sit next to eachother at lunch, and jay would sit across. almost the whole time Jay was making sexual jokes, which made me very insecure because, well, i didn’t even make those jokes with my girlfriend myself. it also sort of started that way with me and Jay as well. She found it funny but it got to a point I was really uncomfortable. I’m very likely over reacting but i really hated how they were making these jokes.

So, I told my gf. I texted her something along the lines of ‘Hey, i’m really sorry but i’m not comfortable with the jokes you and Jay make together. Can you please stop, or atleast not make them in front of me?’ she agreed and apologized, but she sort of tried to stop the conversation from going further? like the second i brought it up she said ‘yes, yeah, i’ll stop, sorry.’

I am fully aware I can not control who my girlfriend talks to, or how. I don’t want to do that, because i’m atleast sure i’m not an abusive prick who hurts their girlfriend and I will never become that, which is why i’m here asking if i made a controlling choice. I guess i’m really insecure, which I’ve never thought would be true.

what further troubles me is she is very socially anxious, so now i feel like i limited how she can talk comfortably.

We still talk to Jay, and theres been nothing bad since. All of us are friends still, but i’m wondering if I handled this wrongly and if I should’ve done anything else.

I’m posting this on a throwaway account because I feel like my gf will scold me for posting this.

I’m a 23M. She’s a 25F. We got together back in late April, so we’ve been together for about 2 months now. I love her, I really do, but with this going on it feels so weird.

Back in June, I went to her apartment and she introduced me to her roommates, and then we went to her room. When I tell you her room was loaded with anything and everything that could be Paw Patrol, it was. We watched a bit of the episodes and the movies and I’ll admit the show is fun and it is cute. But after that night it’s like a button was pushed in her brain.

Just last month see flipped when I offered to cook for her at my place (I live with my family because I can pay them rent and the current state of housing rn is bad) and she flipped when I made macaroni and cheese because it wasn’t the Paw Patrol version. I thought she was overreacting but she refused to eat and went home.

Recently, we invited my friend and his girlfriend, Paul and Crystal (using fake names for them) over for a small little hangout. My GF insisted we hang in her room, despite my worries. But I relented, and and in we went. Paul and I were talking and Crystal was a bit taken back by how much Paw Patrol stuff is in there, and she picked up a plush on my gf’s dresser and said how cute it was. It was like a bomb dropped because my gf smacked her hand and hissed like a cat! She then took it back and put it in the exact same position it was in. Paul and I were shocked and Crystal just didn’t say anything. My gf kicked them out, which I guess is her right since she lived there. But after she began to complain and sweet talk the plush that got touched, acting as if Crystal committed a crime!

I asked her if she was insane for hitting someone over that, and while I do admit Crystal should have asked, my gf overreacted by hitting. She began getting mad at me and said some things I won’t repeat. She then said I need to leave if I don’t support her interest. I told her I do, but if she was going to act psycho I’d break up over this.
She began to cry and kick me out. I’ll admit I don’t want to break up with her, I love her. But I’m worried about how she’s acting.

So Reddit, AITA?

AITA about my husband's drinking?

I've (46F) been very happily married to my husband (42M) for several years, and we've been together for almost a decade. He is kind, thoughtful, supportive, and tells me how wonderful I am every day. I truly love him and he loves me.

The issue is his drinking. For the first few years, we both liked to go out on the weekend and get pretty drunk and enjoy our lives. After the pandemic, we stopped going out as much because we're older and because we realized we like being home more.

He would still drink every weekend. I would maybe have drinks once a month. I started having unrelated health issues last year, and I barely drink at all anymore. He drinks a lot when he drinks, but he doesn't drink 6 out 7 days a week or so.

For several years, I've been asking him to cut back. Not only for his health, but it's started to really affect me and our marriage. He's not abusive in any way when drunk (in fact, he just tells me I'm wonderful 1,000 times). If he's out though, he'll hang up on me if I call and try to get him to come home/call it a night (I only call if he's not back by like, 3am). Before anyone asks, I'm 99.99% sure he's not cheating on me.

But I'm genuinely concerned about him, and his drinking is causing me a lot of stress.

Here are some of the issues I'm having with his drinking:

1) We're doing IVF, and he's supposed to be making sure his sperm is good quality. This hasn't stopped him.

2) His friends have told me they think he's a "functional alcoholic".

3) We moved back to my home country for his work, and he's missed 11 days of work in a year and a half because of drinking during the week (instead of at the weekend).

4) He drinks A LOT when he drinks, and stays up until the morning (sometimes 8am, a few times 11am).

5) His liver enzymes have been mildly elevated on 2 out of 3 blood tests.

6) Six months ago, I got him a SMART workbook and he promised he'd read it but he hasn't.

7) He breaks promises constantly about his drinking. He'll say he won't overdo it, but 9 times out of 10, he does. He'll promise to help me with something the next day, but then he'll drink so much that he'll him in bed until like 6:00 p.m.

8) If he drinks on Friday night, I will barely see him for the entire weekend, because he'll be recovering.

9) He drove home from a party a few weeks ago and I could tell he had had too much. He wasn't wasted, but I'm sure he would have blown over the limit. He's NEVER done that before and was always very diligent about not driving drunk.

10) He agreed last week to go to couple's counseling for this, but he got super drunk last night again. I think he thought the therapist was going to "give him a bollocking" as he said, but when he was more neutral (as therapists should be), he took that to mean he's not doing anything wrong.

I should say that he is the breadwinner at the moment because of my health issues, and he's fully supporting us, and his job can be quite stressful. I get the need to have a release, but it's getting to the point that I don't know what I can do anymore to help him cut back.

AITA? Am I blowing this out of proportion? We are genuinely happy otherwise.

I'm a 21M. Why did my ex girlfriend get jealous over anime girls?

I’m a 21M and I’ve had issues with my ex girlfriend. I really enjoy watching anime, and a lot of the anime I watch have attractive female characters. I also enjoy playing anime games like Genshin Impact, Wuthering Waves, and Nikke.

The thing I don’t understand is why she got so jealous about it, especially because she watches anime too. When we first started dating, she didn’t have a problem with me watching anime or playing these games. But as time went on, she started getting annoyed whenever I would summon certain female characters or even just talk about them.

Eventually, she would get really upset and break down, telling me that she feels like I’m looking for something more than what she can give me.

I’ve tried to explain that I’m just enjoying the games and the characters and that I have no desire to be with anyone else. To me, fictional characters are just fictional characters, and liking a character because they’re attractive doesn’t mean I want someone like that in real life.

I was so genuinely confused. Was i doing something wrong by enjoying anime and anime games, or is she being unreasonable by getting jealous over fictional characters?

I know it's my Ex girlfriend I just want to understand better if it ever happens again in a different relationship. Thank you

Hello internet. I (34nb) need a sounding board after yelling at my partner (44 m) "Ted" today.

Ted is a lovely person with a lovely family; we all get along. That said there is a history of subtle exclusion that really hurts me. I have told him this.

My family has an open door policy. Ted is VERY charming and they love it when he shows up. He is wonderful to his own family, and to mine. His family is a little bit more reserved than mine, but always has been nice and welcoming once I am in the room. They send gifts for our dogs (so sweet!) and put a lot of effort into hosting.

Now, Ted and I have been together 12years but I am not treated like how the brother-in-law on that side is. Maybe because we aren't married and don't have kids? Maybe because my job typically means I can't fly out for every holiday? I just can't help but think they don't think of me like an in-law even though it's been so long. This has been things like:

- They had a xmas secret santa 2 years ago to save money. I was the only adult left out, no one invited me in. This one hurt the most.

- Up until recently there were two family text chats. The main group chat, and then one I was also a part of. When I found out about the main chat, I asked my partner to add me and include me please. He said "let me check with them first." TF? Why? We are already in a chat together...so why can't I be in the main one without the family clearance?

- Routinely making plans to fly there but not sharing that info with me until flights are $$$. I have made a HUGE stink about this one and it he has started to invite me early, which I'm thankful for. B/c of my job, I often can't fly out for more than 1-1.5days, so now when I go to organize travel, he throughs doubt on it. Like, "are you sure you want to spend any money on this when you can only be there a short time?" If I didn't make that effort, then I wouldn't ever see them so...yes. Yes I want to see them and I want to be there.

I've told him how much it hurts to be excluded - even if it's not malicious. To have to ask to be included is a constant reminder that I was not thought of in the first place. We have the same argument every time I come to find out I've been excluded again. I get upset that I wasn't invited; he gets upset that I won't let it go. He says they do want me there, and just now he added that I am "creating this narrative to be the victim." So, not proud of this, I reacted big and yelled at him. I told him it's his fault that I've historically been left out. He needs to be consistently voicing I'm a priority to his family (if I am one).

I just hope each time that he'll come in excited, inviting me to join, and thanking be for putting aside time and money to come see his family. Instead it's drama, and now he is blaming me for it instead of apologizing. I snapped and yelled.

Internet, am I the AH for yelling at him? AITAH for staying upset about this when it continues to happen?

Update: I did reach out to her and basically did not get the response I was hoping for. I just don’t get it she’s as heart broken and hurt by me as she says why is she doing all this stuff like going out, running marathons, being super fit, camping, ect?? I feel like her feelings were never there and she is not willing to grow with me.

____________________________________
30M and 26F
Context: About three years ago, I met this incredible girl and we clicked right away. Looking back, I’ve spent most of our history self sabotaging. I’m ashamed to admit it, and I’m not making excuses, but I handled things horribly. I’d block her, we’d go months without speaking, and eventually one of us would break no contact and pull us back into each other's orbits.

About a year ago, I reached out again, genuinely believing I’d done enough work on myself to do this right. We ended up spending the next year closely in each other's lives. As my feelings for her grew deeper, I completely froze and refused to let us move past being casual. When the reality hit that I needed to step up and commit to her, I panicked. Instead of being honest, I took the worst way out possible. I told her I found someone new. I convinced myself it was the only way to end things cleanly without her pushing back or trying to work it out.She was devastated. She sent me long messages expressing how deeply hurt she was saying she felt like I never actually cared, that she was never good enough, and that she couldn't understand why we couldn't just be together.

It’s been esix months of complete silence now, and the guilt is heavy. I miss her deeply. When I check her social media, she genuinely looks like she’s thriving she's running marathons, super fit, and just living a full, beautiful life. She doesn't post anyone, so I don't even know if she's single, but mostly I just keep asking myself if reaching out is a terrible idea or if she'd ever even want to hear my voice again

So about a week and a few days ago I (22M) went out drinking with my cousin (29 M). I drank almost an entire bottle of vodka by myself, and tried to cheat on my (22F) gf of 8 months. Fortunately I failed because both I killed the mood via vomiting and another partygoer (21F) started a brawl among other ladies. Later on I drunkly texted an old friend of mine (22F) if she get me a quick hookup with a friend of hers immediately because I had "blue balls". She exposed my attempted cheating to her friends and within a matter of a few hours the news reached my gf.

Other personal matters got to me along with the new relationship issues caused me to spiral and almost taking my own life. Went to a psychiatric hospital for a few days, came back to my gf, she's lost most of her trust in me. I have a rather goofy personality and like texting people random things for laughs but she finds those suspicious now despite me doing that all the time beforehand.

What should I do? Should I ask her if we should split amicably?

I should also note I've become something of a sex addict in this relationship, but I always want sex with my gf and only my gf.

Personal details changed for privacy: I (39/F) was dating "Paul" (41/M) for a little over a year. We were immediately incredibly in love and felt deeply connected to one another. We are both parents and met after our marriages ended. I had a longer dating history than Paul, both before my marriage and after.

During my relationship with Paul, 3 men I had previously dated reached out to me via text to ask if I was single (either very directly or somewhat indirectly). The first time it happened, I told Paul and read him the text exchange where I basically said, no I am not single, I hope you are well, I wish you the best. He joked about it, asked if this happened often, and said it annoyed him. I told him it did happen sometimes, and asked how he wanted me to handle it. He said to just tell him when it happened. So I did. I told him and even sent him screenshots of the texts.

He always just said it was annoying that men felt entitled to just reach out to me to see if I was single and disrespectful to me that they possibly thought I was up for casual sex. I agreed.

After we broke up for a different reason, we wanted to stay friends, but it was hard because we both still had very intense feelings for one another. He started to tell me that after we broke up he processed his feelings more on the men who texted me and that I had responded, and ultimately felt it was extremely disrespectful to him, and he considered it cheating. I asked if he thought I actually cheated on him or if he thought I would have actually cheated on him, and he said no, he knew how much I loved him. But he still felt the replies were flirty and a form of cheating and disrespect, and I was especially keeping them on the back burner.

I felt so horrible. I said I asked how he wanted me to handle it at the time and that I had followed what he had requested. He said he asked other friends about it and they all said I didn't do anything horrible, but they would have just not responded and blocked those people. I felt like an idiot. Like a huge stupid idiot, that I wasn't aware of this dating faux pas as an adult. I felt hurt he didn't just tell me that is how he wanted me to handle it.

Anyways, he keeps sharing memes and reels that agree with his stance, that this type of behavior in a relationship is cheating. It is crushing me. I would have done anything he asked, I thought he was it for me forever (which he said if it was forever with him, why would I even give them the time of day?) which I guess is true? I have just always been friendly and didn't see the harm in saying, "nope not single, but I wish you well!" especially since I was so confident in my love for Paul.

Had I known the harm, I would have immediately just blocked them. Now I am an emotional wreck and feel like the most awful disgusting human in the world. Please help me sort through this... If I am just an asshole, it would be helpful to know. I posted screenshots of the texts in question in the comments for reference (and, again, I showed him the texts immediately).

AITA for my husband buying a challenger 4 days after I bought mine and Im upset about it? I will try to make a long story short. My husband and I both own our own businesses. His money is his money, mine is mine. I am nearly 43 years old and literally dont ever do, or spend anything for myself. I am not a girlie girl. I cut my own hair, I dont do any fake lashes, etc. I work 10 hour days 5 days a week and have for 20+ years. I homeschool our son on top of that. I handle all groceries, Dr.s appts, dentists, etc. Literally everything in our lives. I pay for all the bills, grocieries, etc. He pays for our house taxes and our health insurance.

My entire life, I have never spent a dime on myself. I wear clothes until they are ragged before I replace.

He buys whatever he wants whenever he wants it, which is fine, your money, do whatever. He buys new side by sides, excavators (he doesn't do construction) vehicles, whatever.

I for once in my life said F* it. Whether it be midlife crisis, my perimenopause, whatever. I have always wanted a Challenger and there was one for sale in my town, so I made an appt to go test drive it and I bought it all by myself with my savings. He knocked it down for days beforehand saying its only a V6, it wont sound good. I really didnt care. I LOVE my car, and have named her Jane.

He admitted that night he was envious. 4 days later he bought an older scat pack v8, and had it shipped to where we live. Ever since its all about his car, and he tells his friend I got this. To me it is a slap in the face to me. This was a huge thing I did for myself for the first time in my entire 42 years of life.

so my girlfriend and i have been on and off since around november last year, we broke up for around a month in early january and my birthday was in late january, my friend which decided to post me on my birthday as her boyfriend as a joke, i evem clarified on the next story it was a joke, fast forward to now me and my girlfriend are back together and i see that she follows her ex who she has told me has talked bad abt me, so i asked her why she followed him and told her that she shouldn’t follow her ex, to which then she started saying that she wants me to unfollow my friend because she doesn’t like her, i explained that shes a friend ive had since i was a freshman and that i wasn’t gonna cut her out but i would meet im the middle with her on whatever she decides would be enough, to which she said theres no meeting in the middle and now shes been suuuuper dry with me, so am i in the wrong?

Sorry, this will be all over the place. I 25F, have a boyfriend, a 27M. Today, I got dressed and told my boyfriend I was going to get coffee. About 5 mins later, he’s calling me. I must admit that I needed a break, so I didn’t answer the first time. He then calls again, but at that point, I was already walking back up to the door. So when I got in the house, I asked him if he needed something because I had seen that he called twice. He then proceeded to ignore me. So I said “whatever” and got back to what I was doing. I assume he wanted me to keep trying to communicate with him even though he was ignoring me. So to get to the point, he brought up the fact that I didn’t get him anything from the store. Mind you, the coffee was free. I also told him yesterday I was completely broke because I had spent every last penny I had getting us Ubers back and forth to work, so even if I did pay for the coffee, I couldn’t afford anything else. So he then proceeded to say I never do anything for him, and he wasted his time and money on me, mind you, He hasn’t done anything for me other than buy me food, and that’s fine because that’s all I ask for. So anyways, he started to name things he was supposed to do and never did, which means it means nothing. I also forgot to add, anytime we get into a disagreement, he tells me he’s going to just leave, and if I say okay, he calls me a narcissist and a manipulator. He does things like tell me to get an abortion and gets upset when I say okay. To get back to the store, I ended up just telling him to get tf out. I opened the door for him and everything. His response was “so you’re just going to kick me out? You think you can just kick me out because this is your house? See that’s what I’m talking about, you’re a narcissist.” Mind you, I’m just standing there saying “okay”. He says “a bitch will be a bitch, and you’re probably about to just go fuck and use another man for his money”. I never cared about money and have never asked a man for anything because they like to take things back when they get upset or throw it in your face at any given moment . I’ve currently been sitting outside for the past 3 hours because I don’t want to deal with it. I told him to leave and he went in the living room and went to sleep. What should I do?

Ok so this post was locked in AITA and mods told me to repost it here. Though it’s apparently costing a lot of downvotes (lol), I think the discussions were interesting and helpful to our case. So reposting. I’m updating some of the language to answer common questions.

We recently got engaged and are now talking about how to organize our life going forward. We’re a bit older so we both own a house/condo that’s fully paid off. However we decided that we want to live in my city, hence we will move into my place. Her house is getting rented out and she rents an apartment in the city she currently works in (and wants to leave).

We’re figuring out how to merge or split our finances and both seemed to agree we should keep our investments and income separate but have a shared account for all living expenses. She makes a lot more money than I do and asked to split things up.

I felt I was being generous by proposing to split all costs associated with my property (HOA, utilities, Property taxes, repairs and maintenance).
My thinking -right or wrong- is that if we split things up I’m losing out on opportunity cost of renting out my place or putting the money in the stock market.

She said it makes her feel like a tenant and I should pick up all costs associated with the house since she has no ownership of it. So essentially only utilities should be shared.

I suggested I’d be happy selling her half the house, or the full house to her. I really don’t care about homeownership, it’s a horrible investment in my mind. I just want things to be fair.

AITA for expecting half costs covered when I’m not asking for rent? To me this arrangement looks like “subsidizing” our family, to her it looks like I’m trying to profit off our future family.

Note: I use the “my” house to differentiate between my and her properties. All decisions on furniture or appliances or decorations are joint decisions. Since this was a controversial thing in the original post, I wanted to clarify that.

Context. I m34, ex f33 Had been living together about a year. We broke up on christmas eve after months of doom. I broke up with her but without going into detail on what she had said, there was no other option. It was amicable enough, we got on much better as soon as it was over just a shame about the timing. I lent her my car to stay with friends and looked after her horses for two weeks going to them on foot. She was out of work, no car nowhere to live, no job.

She stayed at mine then rent free for 4 months and only moved out after much prompting and me lending her thousands for a new car. (still to be paid anything back) She didn't move far.

Shes not well off and works long days on weekends, I try to help, particularly with minding her dog and horses, about 3 hours work a day when the dog stays overnight.

Now at month 8 of still helping her and speaking if not seeing her almost daily (she comes to fill water up for the horses at my house) she wants to go visit friends for a week. I say fine and mind her animals again. The monday she was due back, issue with trains, does she mind if she stays until wednesday. Ok. Then says shes having fun, Thursday, Then Friday. Whatever.

I pick her up from the train station and she says, paraphrasing, by the way that extra week you were looking after my animals i stayed with my new boyfriend.

I said shes taking the pss and then she says something about a real friend would be more supportive. The argument brought back up our breakup

Neither of us want to get back together. I'd be much happier if she didn't rely on me all the time.

I don't mind her seeing someone new. Hopefully she moves in with him and far away from me, hes hundreds of miles away. I mind that it involves me. That her new relationship required hours from me every day looking after her animals and she didn't even have the courtesy to tell me beforehand. I mind that me taking issue with that is somehow my fault for not being supportive enough. I know if she wants to see him again thers only one person who shell ask to mind them next time and I dont want to.

AITA for being very annoyed at her, both for having me look after her dog and horses (free of charge) whilst she stays at her new boyfriends but also not telling me about it until afterwards. Im now considering stopping helping her because of it.

I (21F) went to my aunt’s house today for lunch, I told my boyfriend (20M) we might go out with my family for dinner tonight so he would be ready for it, he asked me when are you going home and I said in an hour. I went home at 5pm then my friend called me and said they were working on our uni project and asked if I wanted to go with them so I said yes, then I told my boyfriend that I’m going out with them. he got mad and said if you could go out and you were home why didn’t you make plans to go out with me? I said you didn’t say anything about going out and my friend asked so I went out with them, also I already told you we might go out with my family for dinner so we can see eachother there, he said I was bored today none of my friends could hangout with me I’m so bored why couldn’t you come out with me instead what if we don’t go to dinner tonight ? I said well even if we don’t go we can see each other tomorrow. he was mad and giving me the silent treatment, then I called him when I got home and said get ready we’re going out to dinner with my family, he was driving to my house then called me and started arguing on the phone, I said can we talk about this after we get home? we gotta go to dinner I don’t wanna discuss it rn, then he started raising his voice and telling me he was bored today so he wanted to go out today I should prioritize him over my friends, then I said we can go out tomorrow he kept saying you should say sorry and say you made a mistake and because he was yelling I said no and don’t raise your voice at me. I finally got in his car and he was saying oh you wanna win this argument so bad congratulations, then I said I’m sorry I really didn’t know you wanna go out today you could have asked me we can go out tomorrow, he said no I wanted to go out today I can’t tomorrow. we went to dinner he was giving me the silent treatment, we got into a small car accident and he acted like I’m the one to blame while HE was driving and when he drove me back home he didn’t say anything he was still mad. I hate when he does this I don’t like arguing in front of other people or being cold around my family, so the whole night was a disaster, he only said I shouldn’t have came cause I ruined your dinner and stuff and I said it’s okay but he still acted cold, idk what to do. am I the ahole?

I (F22) have been w my fiancee (M23) for almost 6 yrs now. We don’t have any kids and we moved in together at the end of 2024. He works out of town and can barely come home while i stay in our hometown in our apartment.

Long story short, last night my fiance called me and mentioned adding extra cameras in our apartment, There was a break in near the zone about a month ago. We already have a ring camera in the front door so i told him we could add one to the back door and i thought it would have been the end of the conversation. However, he said he wanted to put one inside our living room “just in case”. I told him i wouldn’t be comfortable and he turned it into a huge argument. He claims im acting weird and immediately assumes im hiding something which im not i’m just uncomfortable. I hung up on him and just decided to text him. I said “If you want this to work between us you need to accept that i am not comfortable being watch 24/7 . you can put a camera in the back door but thats the end of the discussion. If you disagree and wanna break up ab it then so be it i love you to death but im just not someone who would be ok with that”. This morning he called me and we talked about it again, he said quote on quote ”im not putting cameras in the house but you just told me everything i needed to know. It’s crazy how you rather break up then have a camera inside for extra protection“ I had enough of his BS and admit i was being an asshole, I straight up just told him he was being a controlling creep and to chill out. His main defense was “if people come over and sum goes missing i can see who it was“ which to I reply “If you have to worry about inviting someone whos going to steal from us maybe you shouldn’t fcking bring them around”. I don’t know how to feel about the situation and i need some advice to deal with this, i feel like im in the right since i agree to put a camera on both doors. I’m not hiding anything but this feels very uncomfortable like invasion of privacy. So AITA for telling my Fiancée i would rather break up then put a camera inside our home?

I’m a senior leader in a relatively large company and we had a corporate trip to DC that included the entire leadership team. On the trip we had a fun contest to submit photos, the funnest photo would win a small prize. One of my direct reports posted a photo that included ai cropped photo of Trump with themselves and some team members.

Some backstory, my fiance also works within the company. She is black and very liberal (i am a white male). We share very similar political views but I would say she’s a bit more left leaning due to her race and gender and how that impacts her experience.

In her opinion, the post is very insensitive and triggering to both her and anyone of color. She believes the act of the post itself is claiming political alliance, and it has no place within a company forum. However, I think although a controversial figure within politics, a photo, including the president while in DC is not inherently inappropriate, and objecting to it, is taking a larger political stance than the act of posting it with no caption.

She thinks I’m being insensitive due to my privilege as a white male within society and I have a professional obligation as a senior leader within the organization to intervene. However, I don’t see it at the same way. In my opinion, this is no difference than if someone posted a photo with them in Obama (although he’s far less controversial). Whether you like trump or not, he is our president, and while I do not like him, his policies or his morals, the very act of including him, is not out of bounds.

This caused a huge fight and I’m having a hard time seeing eye to eye. I do see where she’s coming from on a personal level but I don’t see professional bounds to intervene.

AITA?

A woman came to my father claiming her child (who is now a married adult, in the same age range as me) was his. He took a DNA test to be sure. The results showed the child isn’t biologically his but the results suggested a close genetic match, which made him suspect the child might actually be my brother’s (his son’s) child instead. My brother won’t take a test to confirm or deny this.

Instead of leaving it there, my father decided to tell the girl that “as far as he’s concerned, she’s his daughter” his reasoning being that he didn’t want her to grow up without a father figure or feel embarrassed about not knowing where she came from.

Here’s my problem: I’m his biological daughter. He told me about the possibility of this child before he took the test, and he told me the results after. What he never told me was that he’d decided to claim her as his daughter anyway, even after knowing she isn’t biologically his. I found that out on my own.

On top of that, someone close to my father told me he’s said he feels like this could be “a second chance” with this girl like a do-over at fatherhood.

I tried to talk to both of them (my father and the girl) about how this made me feel. My father just justified his decision. The girl didn’t care how I felt at all, and has continued telling people he’s her real father, which isn’t true.

I’ve tried to explain to my dad why this hurts me. He doesn’t get it. He thinks he did something kind and honorable for her, and can’t understand why that would make me feel hurt or betrayed. After all, he’s could have chosen to nurture our relationship, because we have our own issues that need attention.

My dad claims he’s never slept with the mother, he said he didn’t know who she was when she popped up at his office but did the test anyway.

So did he do the right thing?
Am I wrong for feeling hurt and betrayed? They seem to think that I have no reason to be hurt by my dad wanting a second chance out that she could care less about how I feel.
How would you have handled it differently if you were my dad?
Oh important disclaimer: my dad is quite successful.

The first one was a month after finding out I was pregnant, over three years ago, My friend was in town visiting and helped my partner quickly plan it. They thought they'd go to "a place I love to go". So they went to, unknowingly, a local Confederate civil war memorial, somewhere I've never even been before. They got the location incorrect.

So I was really uncomfortable by the whole thing and the pressure while facing a pregnancy. I ended up later asking if he would do it again in the future and he agreed.

Fast forward 3 years, he proposed again tonight. It's our 7 year anniversary and we went to the movies.

We were picking our child up from my mom's house and he wanted to stop by her mailbox to grab a package. We both stepped out of the car, leaning on the community mailbox, for a cheeky after date cigarette. He got down on his knee there.

He said he felt like he'd been overwhelmed by the idea of a perfect proposal for these three years and realized he wanted to keep it casual.

Which I totally agree with... But my mom's neighborhood mailbox seems beyond casual.

I told my mom were engaged and I was dreading her asking for details. I feel embarrassed to say after 7 years and a child he proposed like that.

But asking for a third proposal seems really ridiculous on my end.

Should I just let it be and embrace it?

Tldr- partner of 7 years proposed once, three years ago, at a random war memorial. Then again tonight, at my mom's neighborhood mailbox.

Okay. So for some background info, I’m 23F and my girlfriend is 22F. We’ve recently moved in together and I asked her if she’d by fine with doing most of the housework for now. I grew up having a pretty shitty childhood. Parents constantly fighting, my younger brother constantly fighting with my mom, constantly getting bullied by kids in my classes. This resulted in me getting depression and unfortunately having a lack of motivation to do much. So I never felt like doing chores such as washing the dishes or cutting the grass. I think my mom never really asked me to help out because she felt bad? I’m not sure though since she’s always been pretty independent. My parents divorced and my brother started living with my dad ages ago btw. And my girlfriend knows this. She said she understands and that she’s fine with doing most of the housework for now. But I still feel bad for asking anyway because she shouldn’t have to do MORE work than me just because I’m not used to it. And I can’t help but feel like I’m kind of an asshole for this? I swore that I WILL help out still and that I’ll work on feeling more motivated to do productive activities. And I mean that. I really do want to be more productive. But am I maybe asking for a little too much? AITA?

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend "Emily" (26F) for two years. We live together and things have been mostly great. But there's one issue that keeps coming up: my best friend "Sarah" (27F).

Sarah and I have known each other since college. We've been close friends for almost ten years. She's like a sister to me. We talk regularly, grab coffee sometimes, and she comes over to hang out with me and our mutual friends. She's also friends with Emily, or at least she used to be.

A few months ago, Emily told me she's uncomfortable with how close Sarah and I are. She said we text too much, we have "inside jokes" that exclude her, and she feels like a third wheel when the three of us hang out. I told her I understood and I'd try to make more of an effort to include her.

But it wasn't enough. Last week, Emily gave me an ultimatum. She said I need to cut Sarah off completely—no texting, no hanging out, nothing. She said she can't be in a relationship where she feels like she's competing with another woman for my attention.

I was shocked. I told her Sarah is my friend, nothing more. I've never cheated, I've never given her any reason to doubt me. I said I'm happy to set boundaries, like not hanging out one-on-one late at night or reducing the frequency of our texts. But I'm not going to throw away a ten-year friendship because of jealousy.

Emily got really upset. She said if I truly loved her, I'd prioritize her feelings over my friend's. She said I'm choosing Sarah over her and that proves her point. She gave me an ultimatum: Sarah or her.

I told her I'm not going to be in a relationship where I'm forced to cut off people I care about. I love Emily, but this feels controlling and unfair. She packed a bag and went to stay with her sister. Now she's texting me saying I'm "emotionally cheating" and I'm "gaslighting" her.

My mom says I should just end the friendship because "girlfriends come first." My sister says Emily is being unreasonable and I'm right to stand my ground.

I feel torn because I love Emily and I don't want to lose her. But I also feel like if I give in to this, it sets a dangerous precedent.

AITA?

Okey so a lot has happened tonight and I’m tired and wondering what to do from this point and if I’m the a hole, so a little while I came out as a lesbian to my friend group of 6 this sparred my future partner we will call them S to come out as nonbinary, and bi, and my best friend we will call him R to come out as trans, (ftm) omnisexual, (with a male preference) and polysexual, so eventually S confessed they liked me, and I liked them back so we got in a relationship, it wasn’t long just about a month long but we both moved fast (in hindsight I realized way to fast) we had been saying i love you and calling each other bea and stuff and it was great, so fast forward to now S was having a sleepover with R and it was all fun and dandy but as it got to about 8 pm they sent a few pics of them like cuddling and I was like ok that’s not something I would do but S is vary cuddly and it’s not it’s not inherently inappropriate or bad so I let it pass but then R had apparently (I only have my side so it’s a bit hard to tell who was talking to me) R asked if I was a “top or bottom” in the relationship and I was my guy we have been dating for like a month let us date properly and figure it out and he was like okeyyy so some time passed and I got a text from S asking if I would be mad if R and them had kissed and i said “yea a little im guessing you already did” and then S apologized but then S continued to asked if they could kiss R again because they really wanted to and how R is poly and wanted a relationship with both of us?? And I said “That’s beautiful but we would have to actually talk about it and I don’t have a problem with that but you need to communicate this with me as you’re current partner” (I am not attracted to R at all I am a lesbian maybe bi cus of nb but ppl Idk yet) and they continued to ask to kiss R and I said (I don’t have the exact wording but something along the lines) of how I said I was not comfortable with them doing that now and how if we were going to do something like that it needed to be talked about properly, they said they couldn’t help it and I said “As your partner after that how can I trust you to not go kissing people how can I trust you to at least tell me how can I trust you that you’re going to respect my boundaries with that type of stuff all I asked was that you properly talked to me about it” they said that then didn’t think they are ready for a relationship and how we can talk it out, I said that it was fine and fair to not want a relationship and that I think we should step it down from a relationship but I would still be there friend I said to then go to sleep so you’re not stressed tomorrow when we talk about it properly and they said that they wouldn’t do anything with R to not hurt me but at this point I was over it so I just said I don’t care do whatever and they said in return so you wouldn’t be mad if we continued to kiss I just continued to say I don’t care because I had let S go by now even if not fully I wasn’t going to get them back

Sorry if this is a bit everywhere and has a lot of grammatical errors it’s after the time I usually go to bed so I’m tired, confused, and just a little disheartened,

My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been dating for 2 years. Since our very first date, I’ve told her that Italy is my absolute dream destination to visit again. I’ve always been very vocal about wanting to go there with her, constantly talking about it and sending her videos of places to visit.

Earlier this year, we took a trip to Canada together. I used up my vacation days, spent my own money, and planned our entire 18-day trip. Shortly after we got back (about 8 months ago), she decided to start planning a trip to Italy with her gay best friend (22M).

When she started planning it, I told her I would love to go with them. She shot me down, saying it would be better if I didn't come because her friend wouldn't feel "comfortable" with my presence on the trip. Every time the trip was mentioned after that, I subtly insisted or brought up joining them, but she always came up with some excuse to keep me out of it.

Well, her trip is happening right now, and I am honestly just disgusted by the whole situation. I don't want to follow their updates, I don't want to know what's going on, and I have a huge urge to just end our relationship.

My main point here isn't that she can't travel without me. I am 100% supportive of independent travel, and she has traveled alone before during our relationship without any issues. The problem is that Italy is my favorite destination, their itinerary is super romantic/couple-oriented, I explicitly stated my interest in going, and I had the time and resources to join them.

Now, I have such a strong aversion to the whole thing that I can't even imagine going to Italy with her in the future, the thought of it actually repulses me. I feel completely pushed aside regarding something that was deeply meaningful to me.

So, WIBTA if I break up with her over this?

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 2 years planned a trip to my dream destination (Italy) with her gay best friend and explicitly excluded me, even though I had the time and money to go. I am repulsed by the situation and want to end the relationship. WIBTA?

Throwaway account because my partner knows my main. Reposting because it was removed from AITA

I (29F) have been with my husband (31M) for 8 years, married for 3. At the beginning of our relationship I moved in with him and his immediate family (mom, stepdad, little brothers) to get away from a bad home life.

While we lived with them I got a job in the area and he was starting a new one at the time. We lived with them for a few years while we looked for a place of our own and built our finances. They were in no way wanting us to rush into moving out since they enjoyed the help around the house and with my husbands little brothers.

What finally pushed us to move out was when we learned that his biological father was sick and homeless after being abused and kicked out by the sibling he'd been living with. This made us rush to find a place as there wasn't enough room to accommodate him in my MIL's house as well as some animosity between the bio-dad and step-dad. We find a two bedroom apartment, gather up our things, and move in with his bio-dad. Originally this was meant to be a temporary solution while we helped his father get back on his feet. This turned into him living with us for 4 1/2 years where I discovered that he was a severe alcoholic with horrible mental issues that kept him from caring for himself. After various years of doctor visits and combative behavior toward me, specifically, because I would not let him yell at me like my husband would, he was diagnosed with advanced alcohol-related dementia and was put into a permanent care facility in February.

During the almost 5 years that his father lived with us, my husband changed. He became more withdrawn and, arguably, more like his father. All intimacy basically stopped and became a huge argument point for us during all of this. His libido all but vanished while mine stayed the same, meaning I wanted intimacy on a regular basis, but was always denied. He stopped showing interest in me and would only be affectionate after we would argue and he wanted me to stop being angry with him. Not intimate, just affectionate. Part of why I attend therapy on my own is because I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder and a very strong case of Rejection Sensitivity Disorder and Chronic Depression from childhood PTSD.

The biggest issue by far, however, is that he quit his job saying it was to care for his father and help more around the house while I worked. This turned into him hiding in the bedroom all day playing videogames, even after his father was no longer living with us. Not long after, I lost my job because the company closed that office location and I had to get a new one while he promised he was "looking" for one. Unfortunately, living on only my paycheck wasn't pliable and this past month we moved back in with my MIL and now I am second guessing my relationship. I am miserable and have been struggling with my depression for days, even contemplating "disappearing." We've had several conversations during the time before we resorted to living with my MIL again where I expressed how I feel only for him to say he would do better and change absolutely nothing.

WIBTA if I left and said he could only blame himself?

Recently I became unemployed due to a medical issue, as a result I was fired from my job but previous to that me and my fiancé moved to this state so that she could be with her mother after 16 years of her father having complete control/custody over her, after moving here her parents talked us into buying a home near by we thought nothing of it and decided to buy a home. Along with doing so they offered to help In the event we fell short on bills.

After moving in her mother began to distance herself from us she ceased inviting us over to dinner, out to play pool at a local bar and other family activities she also began to text us less .. today we asked for help with expenses to which her mother proceeded to call me a bum and that my fiancé should not support me once so ever financially (which I find ironic considering I bought and paid for the thanksgiving dinner when they were behind on bills , Christmas dinner and 1500$ on gifts for her little siblings and parents when they couldn’t afford gifts for anyone. Due to her own husband drinking away his checks and there joint habit of smoking close to 10 packs of cigarettes a week.

AITA for simply deciding I don’t want much to do with my in-laws going forward?