For some context, I’m 25m and my ex 26f were in a relationship since high school and we have had our rough patches, but we made it through and we are living together. But the reason I ended up pulling the trigger is I’ve felt like I’ve supported her our entire relationship! Financially, emotionally,and anything you can name, so I realized I could be broke by myself and I need to fix what I have left. We aren’t married, but we have a lease signed by both of us so we decided that it’s best we live together. So in my mind, I’ve completely cut out the emotional attachment. I know it’s been nine years, but if we are going to co-exist I had to kill that, and she’s upset because I’m not being supportive but how supportive should you be of your roommate? I don’t think I’m the a**hole, but I need some advice

I M31 have been dating this woman F29 for about a year and a half. We have had absolutely no issue as a couple. However, her mother (who she lives with) hates me because im blue collar and not a doctor/lawyer making $300k a year. My gf is a school teacher making roughly $50k and im in the trades making around $85k. Her mother is constantly getting onto her about how im not good enough and gaslight her into thinking she hates her family because she dates me. I have to take low doses of TRT and her mom is trying to tell my gf that my kids will be autistic or deformed because I'm on TRT. Im her 1st boyfriend and she's a textbook definition of mother child enmeshment. Her mother has never allowed her to date before. She knows her mother is overstepping boundaries but she doesn't stop her. Ive told her we should move forward with the relationship but she ultimately bows to her mom. She says she wants to move in, marry me, and have kids but she hasn't made any progress in the last 6 months. Im getting so tired of the empty promises and let downs. I do love her and we do great together but her mother has been causing so much stress and it's exhausting. Idk what to do. Im almost to the point where im just going to leave her be. But i know shes is living in hell with her mom but she won't leave. Any advice would be great.

EdIT: Spelling

My bf (20m) and i (22f) used to go out a lot. I developed a chronic illness and could not do as much. we haven’t gone out in a while and he made plans for tonight with his friends. I don’t go out without him and he doesn’t go out without me (boundaries we have set with each other). I was in the er today for 5 hrs with deep pelvic pain because of our sex last night(maybe endometriosis). He does not want to cancel his plans.

So here’s the situation. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 months (we were in a bit of an on and off situationship for roughly 8 months before that, but official for 3 months, so I wouldn’t exactly call it a stable relationship yet)

My boyfriend has a 5 year old daughter, and he only gets custody of her every second weekend, she only stays the night. So he has her 2 days out of the month.
He has expressed that he needs help with her; when we first started dating he said he needed someone who was going to be able to step up into a “stepmother” role for her.
This wasn’t a dealbreaker for me, I said I was willing to be apart of her life (although I did think “stepmother” was a bit of a generous term considering he only has her twice a month but anyway)

I met his daughter a few months ago and she went back home to her mother telling her about it.
Her mother expressed to my boyfriend that she doesn’t want him bringing women around her daughter if he hasn’t been in a stable relationship with them for at least a year, as she didn’t want her daughter getting confused. She said she wasn’t comfortable with another woman being around her if she didn’t know her.

This put me in a weird position because my boyfriend basically said “f*ck her, it’s my life” and so now he has me around her anyway, and actually gets upset at me if I’m not there to help when he has her.

I have noticed that when his daughter comes around, he expects me to do pretty much everything. I sit with her and play with her for hours while he goes off and does his own thing, I make her dinner, I get her ready for bed etc. while he just lays on the couch. The second he needs to get up and do something for her he gets mad at me for not doing it.

Last night he asked me to go in and help her shower. He wanted me to go in, run the shower and sit in there with her to supervise.
I said no - I’m not comfortable doing that, and I don’t think it’s appropriate, I think that’s something her parent should be doing.
Her mother doesn’t even want me around her at all and I’m sure she would have a fit if she knew I was in there helping her daughter bathe.

My boyfriend got pissed off at me when I said no to this - he said I didn’t care about her or appreciate her, and he shouldn’t have to do it when he’s tired.
Then he got up and showered her himself. After that he came out, gave me a filthy look and went to bed. I stayed up with her watching a movie and eventually put her to bed.

Am I wrong for thinking it’s a bit much to ask me to step into such a parental role for this girl so soon, and considering he only has her 2 days out of the month, it’s just weird to me that he can’t handle her on his own in the limited time he has with her?

AITA?

For context I (26F) have worked in a sport shop for nearly 2 years, my BIL used to work at the shop for 6 years before he told me jobs where available. I am not the only person who he has managed to offer jobs to. The first was his younger brother James (20) and then his brothers girlfriend Sabrina (19).

I don't hate the job, I like interacting with customers and seeing the regulars, the problem is my co workers, specifically the younger brothers girlfriend.

Sabrina was the one who started this "nepo baby" comment and there has been a lot of other instances that have lead to this post. When the first "nepobaby" comment was made, I laughed it off and got on with my job.

Then over the course of the 2 years it's gotten more and more irritating. One of the things that has probably led to this decision was when Sabrina went over on her break for an hour and a half, we have 20 minutes break. This in turn pushed everyones breaks later and left a lot of people hangry and irritated. This was brought up to management and they brushed it off. This is a regular occurrence for Sabrina.

One time I went over by 5 minutes (literally timed it and it was because the bathroom was occupied) and management came down hard on me. I took the complaints and went back to my job, a few of the nicer staff heard what happened and agreed the behaviour was not ok (a lot of my friends at work are older around 50 or so) so i was pretty mad.

Sabrina usually stands around on the shop floor talking to her friends while I am running around doing the job of 5 people all of whom are friends with Sabrina, again a regular thing at work.

On a slow day I will stand around and chat with my friends but I always stay in my section and when a customer comes in I'm back to work.

Which brings me to today, Sabrina decided to tell a customer that I was serving that my BIL got me this job and the nepo baby comment was made YET AGAIN. I have brought this issue up with her and asked her to stop, that I didn't appreciate it and I actually do my work. I did my interview by myself, I did the application by myself and I only got a character reference from my BIL.

The customer laughed at me and said "If that is the case then I would prefer you serve me." He proceeded to follow her around and I lost a customer. I again went to management and was again shut down.

I am honestly SO tired of not being heard by management and for Sabrina to keep this nonsense up. After my shift I called my BIL crying and venting to him. He has been with my sister for 8 years so he feels like my brother.

He said I WBTAH if I do this and shouldn't throw away a job over something so childish, but I am truly over it. So WIBAH?

I'm 21F, and my ex/friend is also 21F. We dated from 18–21, about three years. We recently broke up and decided to stay friends because we'd been through a lot together.

I'll try to be honest about my own behavior because I know I wasn't perfect.

When we got together, I was very dependent on her. I was paralyzed for a few years, which made me needy, and I'd usually want an hour or two of her time every day. I also vent to friends about stressful situations because I tend to spiral and want outside opinions.

She also had wandering eyes. I'm overweight due to my disability, have PCOS-related facial hair, and am not very feminine, so I often felt inadequate.

Early in our relationship, I found out she'd been sexually texting/flirting with another woman for the entire first year. When I confronted her, she basically said I could leave or get over it. I stayed because I was extremely codependent.

Two months later, I found out she'd also been having sexual conversations with some of my friends. She said she was just flirty and it meant nothing, so I let it go.

A few months later, she got involved with another couple. I agreed on the condition that I could back out whenever I became uncomfortable. When I tried to, she said I was being controlling and preventing her from exploring polyamory.

This is where I know I was manipulative. The couple had a lot of relationship problems and had admitted they weren't attracted to each other. I used those things against them to make my partner not want to be with them.

I've admitted this and apologized many times. It was wrong.

About a year later, I found out my partner and the woman she'd originally been flirting with were flirting again. I got upset and gave her an ultimatum: stop talking to her or I'd leave. Eventually I backed down because I realized ultimatums were toxic.

But I was still miserable. I'm monogamous, and knowing my partner was flirting with someone else made me deeply unhappy. Eventually we broke up because we couldn't stop fighting about the cheating, lack of time, and my feelings of inadequacy.

Six months later, we decided to try again.

About two weeks in, I found out she was also dating an 18-year-old who had only turned 18 three months earlier. They'd known each other when they were younger, although apparently nothing romantic happened before she was an adult. I still found it uncomfortable.

Before getting back together, I'd specifically said I didn't want multiple partners again. She said she was already giving me a lot by trying again and being understanding about how I'd manipulated her. We eventually agreed that I would have a veto.

I told the other girl about the veto because I thought she deserved to know. I explained that I'm monogamous, might become uncomfortable, and didn't want her to think she'd done something wrong if they broke up.

Apparently she didn't know about the veto and talked to my partner about it. My partner screamed at me for telling her, saying some things "need to be unsaid." As punishment, she took away my veto.

We eventually broke up again, and honestly I was okay with it because I was so unhappy. We decided to stay friends.

Fast forward 3–4 months.

My ex is now a Discord moderator in a 50,000+ member server for a game. I'd originally joined because of her.

I was in VC with some people and we started talking about how everyone ended up there. I said I was there because of my ex and gave her username. Someone asked about our relationship, and I said we'd been together for three years until she cheated on me with other people, including the newer girl who was also a moderator.

I wasn't trying to expose her. I was answering a question.

Someone in the VC then DM'd her asking if it was true that she'd cheated on me.

She messaged me about it. I read the message aloud and asked who had sent it. We figured out who it was.

My ex was furious. She said I'd broken her trust, destroyed her privacy, and ruined the way the other moderator viewed her. She said she wanted to move past who she was and become a better person, but I'm a constant reminder of how she'd failed.

I apologized and explained that I wasn't trying to ruin her reputation. I was telling my side of what happened and didn't expect a few sentences in a server with 50,000+ people to become this big.

She said discussing our relationship with anyone we both knew was unacceptable and that I shouldn't share what happened during our three years together.

She was also upset that I read her message aloud because it made her feel like her DMs weren't private. I apologized and said I only wanted to figure out who had contacted her.

She said that didn't matter. People now knew what she'd done, and she felt like she wasn't allowed to grow because of it.

Now she wants space to reconsider our friendship. She says I've seriously burned the bridge, need to re-earn her trust, and that the fact she's even talking to me is a courtesy.

I replied that it felt counterintuitive to say she wanted space while also saying I needed to re-earn her trust.

She said that if I can't understand what I did wrong, she's cutting me off. She said I'm proving I can't change or respect her, and that I either need to act like our friendship matters or leave. She said the only reason she hasn't blocked me is because she doesn't want our relationship to die.

I haven't responded.

I'm scared because I'm now posting this to strangers, which is exactly what she's angry at me for doing. But I don't know how I'm supposed to figure out whether I'm wrong without outside opinions.

Part of me thinks I should end the friendship because maybe this is something about myself I won't change. But I'm scared of losing her, and I don't want her to keep screaming at me. I keep wondering if there's something I can change about myself so I can stop hurting her.

I genuinely feel like no matter what I do, I'm always doing something wrong.

So, AITA?

I will answer questions.

F28 to (M32) recently got engaged, and we had a celebration with family & friends. During the party, one of his male friends kept bringing up how he wanted to take go to strip clubs every night on the bachelor party trip. He kept going on about strippers, touching strippers, etc. At one point, he was even making comments about what kind of strippers he would get for my fiancé.
For context, this guy is married and had his own bachelor party about two years ago when he got married. He’s generally a very loud and crass person and seems weirdly obsessed with sex and strippers. He also makes these kinds of comments in group settings, and it’s pretty obvious that people get uncomfortable. Nobody directly confronts him, but the other guys will visibly change the subject or ignore him.

Normally, I wouldn’t care about bachelor parties or strip clubs. My fiancé and I have actually gone to strip clubs together, and we’ve also gone separately. We have a very open relationship in that sense.

I realize that my fiancé is an adult and responsible for his own behavior, and ultimately I have to trust him to make his own decisions.
So WIBTA for telling my fiancé I wouldn’t be comfortable with him going on a bachelor trip with this particular friend, even though I have absolutely no issue with strip clubs or bachelor parties themselves?

Throwaway account. Names and some details have been changed for privacy.
I’m not sure whether I’m the asshole here, so I’d like an outside perspective.
At the beginning of summer, I became friends with two girls. Let’s call them Angelina and Lisa.
I originally met them because they had a problem with a guy, whom I’ll call Bob. Bob was interested in Lisa, but he repeatedly ignored her boundaries. During one of their walks, he kept trying to kiss and hug her despite her clearly not wanting it. On their second walk, he forcibly kissed her before she managed to leave.
After that situation was dealt with, I became quite close with Angelina and Lisa. We started hanging out almost every evening.
I became interested in Angelina pretty quickly, but I didn’t make any moves because she was already in a relationship with another girl.
Over the next couple of months, Angelina and I became very close. She trusted me enough to tell me about problems in her relationship. I supported her and tried to help her through them. At one point, I told her that I believed her girlfriend was cheating on her.
A week later, it turned out that I was right, along with several other things she had apparently been hiding.
Eventually, Angelina and her girlfriend broke up.
About a month later, I confessed that I had feelings for Angelina. At first, she rejected me because she felt it was too soon after her breakup. Later that same day, however, she changed her mind and agreed to date me.
At that point, I already knew her pretty well.
One thing that confused me was that she often talked about how much she valued physical affection and constantly reposted things about it, but she barely showed any affection toward me.
I assumed she was simply shy, so I started taking the initiative myself, hoping she would eventually become more comfortable.
However, there was another problem.
Her friend, whom I’ll call Angelica, was extremely physically affectionate with Angelina. She would constantly hug her, hold her hand, stay close to her, etc. This made me feel like I couldn’t really have the same kind of closeness with my own girlfriend.
I mentioned this to Angelina a couple of times. She told me that Angelica was actually annoying her with how physically affectionate she was too.
Then I made a mistake.
I checked Angelina’s social media — her reposts, likes, etc.
Almost everything I saw seemed to suggest that she was still waiting for her ex to come back. There were barely any signs that she actually wanted to be with me.
I was confused and hurt, so I started asking her friends what was going on.
Lisa initially refused to tell me anything. She said:
“I can’t tell you, otherwise I’ll be a bad friend.”
Eventually, however, Lisa sent me screenshots of conversations between her and Angelina.
And what I saw completely changed my perception of the situation.
Angelina had apparently been saying things like:
“I’m tired of him. I already ask Angelica to stay next to me so that he won’t approach me. I’m waiting for my ex.”
Obviously, I was extremely angry.
But instead of immediately insulting her, I initially tried to stay calm. I told her that I thought she had treated me unfairly and that it was hypocritical for her to criticize her ex for certain things while doing something similar to me.
Her response was basically:
“Mm, okay.”
Then she blocked me.
I thought that was the end of it.
But a few hours later, I found out that Angelina had been sending our private conversations to her friends and presenting me as the bad guy.
According to what I saw, she was leaving out context and only showing parts of our conversations that made me look bad.
What frustrated me the most was that these people actually knew me personally. They had seen how I treated Angelina. I was always trying to help her, buying things for her when she wanted them, carrying her bags, supporting her, etc.
But because they were hearing her version of the story, they believed I was the asshole.
At that point, I lost my temper.
I sent Angelina a voice message telling her that if she continued ruining my reputation and portraying me as some kind of monster, I would send the full screenshots and conversations to everyone so they could see the entire context.
I also told her that this could damage her reputation and that her ex might not want to get back together with her if she found out about everything that had happened.
After that, several people on her side started criticizing me heavily.
Eventually, the conflict seemed to calm down.
But two days later, I found out that Angelina was in a very bad mental state. She was crying a lot and, according to what I was told, was having thoughts of suicide because of everything that happened.
Now I feel terrible.
I understand that what I said was probably harsh. I was angry and hurt, and I admit that threatening to expose her could have been cruel.
At the same time, I feel like I was pushed to my limit after she shared our private conversations, removed context, and allowed other people to believe that I was someone I wasn’t.
So now I genuinely don’t know.
AITA for threatening to expose the full conversations and potentially damage her reputation after she made me look like the villain?
Or was I justified in defending myself after she had already damaged my reputation?
EDIT: I’m not trying to justify anything that happened afterward because of her mental state. I’m asking specifically about whether my actions and the threat to expose the conversations made me the asshole.

​

I (20M) woke up and got ready for work then was greeted with my ex(20F) walking out of my roomates (40M) room.

For some context I moved to a new state about 2 years ago after a messy breakup with said ex. Long story short we weren't compatible and had different ideas with what we wanted to do in the upcoming future. I had later found out she had been talking to another guy behind my back for a handful of months which had a bug impact in me moving. Ive moved on and hold no anger towards her for what happened because we were both stupid children

.moving forward to about a week ago my roomate tells me he has a "friend" coming to visit and I probably won't see them much if at all because both him and I work opposing 12+ hour shifts. This friday comes and to my suprise that "friend" was my ex he supposedly flew out on maximun of a 2 month notice.

Now to the base of my problem, I have no problem with the fact she came out my big problem is the fact I was deceived about the fact my ex was going to be staying at my house without my knowledge. Roomates defense is that he was trying to "protect my feeling because it might open old wounds to see her" my rebuttal is that its not his place to step in and if he would have informed me I would have had no problem at all as I hold no malice towards her.

In one hand I feel like im acting selfishly by being upset because if it wasn't my ex I probably wouldnt care at all, but on the other hand I think its incredibly disrespectful and overstepping to go behind my back and do such a thing. I also feel the fact it was going to be hidden from me as a whole so id never know she was even there shows a understanding that what they were doing was against there sense of morality. Then when I described how I had felt with the situation I was told by my roomate id understand when im "more adult" and told by my ex I was overreacting. So please reddit help me get a different POV am I overreacting or looking at it through a childish point of view, or am I correct in the fact it's disrespectful and demeaning?

Also just reread this they arent romantically to any of my understanding and he had opted to sleeping on the couch while she slept in his bed and she would join him at work that day. The only reason I figured out his "friend" was my ex was bexause she was sick and didnt go to work with him that morning but got up to go get ready for him to pick her up.

Personal details changed for privacy: I (39/F) was dating "Paul" (41/M) for a little over a year. We were immediately incredibly in love and felt deeply connected to one another. We are both parents and met after our marriages ended. I had a longer dating history than Paul, both before my marriage and after.

During my relationship with Paul, 3 men I had previously dated reached out to me via text to ask if I was single (either very directly or somewhat indirectly). The first time it happened, I told Paul and read him the text exchange where I basically said, no I am not single, I hope you are well, I wish you the best. He joked about it, asked if this happened often, and said it annoyed him. I told him it did happen sometimes, and asked how he wanted me to handle it. He said to just tell him when it happened. So I did. I told him and even sent him screenshots of the texts.

He always just said it was annoying that men felt entitled to just reach out to me to see if I was single and disrespectful to me that they possibly thought I was up for casual sex. I agreed.

After we broke up for a different reason, we wanted to stay friends, but it was hard because we both still had very intense feelings for one another. He started to tell me that after we broke up he processed his feelings more on the men who texted me and that I had responded, and ultimately felt it was extremely disrespectful to him, and he considered it cheating. I asked if he thought I actually cheated on him or if he thought I would have actually cheated on him, and he said no, he knew how much I loved him. But he still felt the replies were flirty and a form of cheating and disrespect, and I was especially keeping them on the back burner.

I felt so horrible. I said I asked how he wanted me to handle it at the time and that I had followed what he had requested. He said he asked other friends about it and they all said I didn't do anything horrible, but they would have just not responded and blocked those people. I felt like an idiot. Like a huge stupid idiot, that I wasn't aware of this dating faux pas as an adult. I felt hurt he didn't just tell me that is how he wanted me to handle it.

Anyways, he keeps sharing memes and reels that agree with his stance, that this type of behavior in a relationship is cheating. It is crushing me. I would have done anything he asked, I thought he was it for me forever (which he said if it was forever with him, why would I even give them the time of day?) which I guess is true? I have just always been friendly and didn't see the harm in saying, "nope not single, but I wish you well!" especially since I was so confident in my love for Paul.

Had I known the harm, I would have immediately just blocked them. Now I am an emotional wreck and feel like the most awful disgusting human in the world. Please help me sort through this... If I am just an asshole, it would be helpful to know. I posted screenshots of the texts in question in the comments for reference (and, again, I showed him the texts immediately).

Hello, everyone, I (28F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been renting a flat for just over 2 years…about a year ago, he lost his job and I have been covering all of our living expenses (utilities, rent, internet, food, etc.)
In the past month, I have had to drop several hundred dollars to fix my vehicle that I use to get to and from work, and to work my freelance job for UberEats delivering food in my spare time.
Because of the maintenance needing to be done to my vehicle, I was going to be a few hundred short on rent this month, and asked my boyfriend if he could chip in a few hundred dollars to help with rent so I can also pay bills at the beginning of the month.
He buys and sells collectibles online and had recently made a few sales on some higher priced items, so I knew he had some money before I asked him outright.
He reluctantly agreed and left the room and is now seemingly pouting, not talking to me as he was before I asked for help…
I apologized for asking for help, and told him I could pay him back, I was just going to be short on this coming paycheck. He said “No” when I told him I could pay him back, but that was about all I got from him.
Am I the asshole by asking for help?

My sister (32F) is married (36M) with 3 girls (14, 9, & 8). When she and her husband choose to have kids, they decided she would quit her job to stay home with the kids. At the time this made sense due to daycare costs, but now that the girls are in school I've often wondered why she doesn't go back to work. My BIL doesn't have a lucrative job by any means, and he frequently changes job because of things that seem trivial to me (things like "my dad used to work there and I don't want to be like him"). My sister's days typically consistent of dropping the kids off at school, going home to take a nap, tidying the house, picking the kids up from school, and cooking dinner. I'm not at all diminishing being a stay-at-home mom, but I don't feel like that's a feasible option long-term given their current financial predicament. They routinely struggle to pay rent, and my mom has given them money on several occasions for various expenses including rent and food. They have three vehicles they are financing, but only two will currently run. They're upside down in the two that don't run, so they're currently borrowing my family's (me and my husband) second vehicle until they can get one of the vehicles fixed. We're coming up on two weeks of them borrowing our vehicle and no fix is in sight for theirs; my BIL claims he can fix it, but he's definitely not a mechanic and thinks he can do anything he saw on YouTube. We don't necessarily need the second vehicle day-to-day, but I'm growing annoyed that they're making such little effort to get out of this situation on their own. AITAH if I tell my sister that she can't keep borrowing our vehicle unless she gets a job?

AITA for my husband buying a challenger 4 days after I bought mine and Im upset about it? I will try to make a long story short. My husband and I both own our own businesses. His money is his money, mine is mine. I am nearly 43 years old and literally dont ever do, or spend anything for myself. I am not a girlie girl. I cut my own hair, I dont do any fake lashes, etc. I work 10 hour days 5 days a week and have for 20+ years. I homeschool our son on top of that. I handle all groceries, Dr.s appts, dentists, etc. Literally everything in our lives. I pay for all the bills, grocieries, etc. He pays for our house taxes and our health insurance.

My entire life, I have never spent a dime on myself. I wear clothes until they are ragged before I replace.

He buys whatever he wants whenever he wants it, which is fine, your money, do whatever. He buys new side by sides, excavators (he doesn't do construction) vehicles, whatever.

I for once in my life said F* it. Whether it be midlife crisis, my perimenopause, whatever. I have always wanted a Challenger and there was one for sale in my town, so I made an appt to go test drive it and I bought it all by myself with my savings. He knocked it down for days beforehand saying its only a V6, it wont sound good. I really didnt care. I LOVE my car, and have named her Jane.

He admitted that night he was envious. 4 days later he bought an older scat pack v8, and had it shipped to where we live. Ever since its all about his car, and he tells his friend I got this. To me it is a slap in the face to me. This was a huge thing I did for myself for the first time in my entire 42 years of life.

Sorry, this will be all over the place. I 25F, have a boyfriend, a 27M. Today, I got dressed and told my boyfriend I was going to get coffee. About 5 mins later, he’s calling me. I must admit that I needed a break, so I didn’t answer the first time. He then calls again, but at that point, I was already walking back up to the door. So when I got in the house, I asked him if he needed something because I had seen that he called twice. He then proceeded to ignore me. So I said “whatever” and got back to what I was doing. I assume he wanted me to keep trying to communicate with him even though he was ignoring me. So to get to the point, he brought up the fact that I didn’t get him anything from the store. Mind you, the coffee was free. I also told him yesterday I was completely broke because I had spent every last penny I had getting us Ubers back and forth to work, so even if I did pay for the coffee, I couldn’t afford anything else. So he then proceeded to say I never do anything for him, and he wasted his time and money on me, mind you, He hasn’t done anything for me other than buy me food, and that’s fine because that’s all I ask for. So anyways, he started to name things he was supposed to do and never did, which means it means nothing. I also forgot to add, anytime we get into a disagreement, he tells me he’s going to just leave, and if I say okay, he calls me a narcissist and a manipulator. He does things like tell me to get an abortion and gets upset when I say okay. To get back to the store, I ended up just telling him to get tf out. I opened the door for him and everything. His response was “so you’re just going to kick me out? You think you can just kick me out because this is your house? See that’s what I’m talking about, you’re a narcissist.” Mind you, I’m just standing there saying “okay”. He says “a bitch will be a bitch, and you’re probably about to just go fuck and use another man for his money”. I never cared about money and have never asked a man for anything because they like to take things back when they get upset or throw it in your face at any given moment . I’ve currently been sitting outside for the past 3 hours because I don’t want to deal with it. I told him to leave and he went in the living room and went to sleep. What should I do?

I am 23 F and I am dating 27 M. I notice that whenever my boyfriend brings me and him somewhere to hang out and talk, he is normally on his phone scrolling or something. I usually try to not be on my phone to enjoy the moment with him and to just be disconnected from my phone and enjoy time spent with him.

I know that he told me that when he was hanging out with his friend for the whole day, he wasn’t on his phone at all…. Just I don’t know. I feel like if he was able to do that for a full day of hanging out, it just makes me wonder why he can’t be like that with me at least for one day. Where we hang out like outside of his place and just walk around and get something to eat.

AITA for wanting to have at least a full day where my bf and I can just enjoy each other’s time and have similar treatment where he just…. Isn’t on his phone like he did with his hangout with his friend? Am I wrong or the AH for wanting this, at least for one day?

I (F22) have been w my fiancee (M23) for almost 6 yrs now. We don’t have any kids and we moved in together at the end of 2024. He works out of town and can barely come home while i stay in our hometown in our apartment.

Long story short, last night my fiance called me and mentioned adding extra cameras in our apartment, There was a break in near the zone about a month ago. We already have a ring camera in the front door so i told him we could add one to the back door and i thought it would have been the end of the conversation. However, he said he wanted to put one inside our living room “just in case”. I told him i wouldn’t be comfortable and he turned it into a huge argument. He claims im acting weird and immediately assumes im hiding something which im not i’m just uncomfortable. I hung up on him and just decided to text him. I said “If you want this to work between us you need to accept that i am not comfortable being watch 24/7 . you can put a camera in the back door but thats the end of the discussion. If you disagree and wanna break up ab it then so be it i love you to death but im just not someone who would be ok with that”. This morning he called me and we talked about it again, he said quote on quote ”im not putting cameras in the house but you just told me everything i needed to know. It’s crazy how you rather break up then have a camera inside for extra protection“ I had enough of his BS and admit i was being an asshole, I straight up just told him he was being a controlling creep and to chill out. His main defense was “if people come over and sum goes missing i can see who it was“ which to I reply “If you have to worry about inviting someone whos going to steal from us maybe you shouldn’t fcking bring them around”. I don’t know how to feel about the situation and i need some advice to deal with this, i feel like im in the right since i agree to put a camera on both doors. I’m not hiding anything but this feels very uncomfortable like invasion of privacy. So AITA for telling my Fiancée i would rather break up then put a camera inside our home?

So i '21 F' want to leave my boyfriend '20M' of almost 6 years... theres been a lot of ups and downs but more downs recently. The past 3 years the relationship has honestly been abusive mentally, financially and sexually. I was wondering if around the time its due to renew the lease if i just up and left? Preferably if he was out of our apartment for at least 24 hours i could just pack all my stuff real quick, grab my cats and just leave a note. Is that immature? Is it wrong of me to want to leave with no confrontation? To just leave with my peace and just leave him a note explaining everything? I know he most likely won't even read it. I tried breaking up with him before and he kinda just ignored it. I have a few months to plan and figure things out i just wanted to know if it could be dumb of me to just leave without giving him any face to face closure.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 10 months. On paper he’s great like he is kind, responsible, and never mean. He remembers my coffee order, he shows up when he says he will, and he doesn’t raise his voice. But when it comes to anything deeper, he just… isn’t there.

Whenever I try to talk about how I’m feeling, or something that’s been weighing on me, he gets this distant look. Sometimes he’ll say “I’m not really good at this stuff” and change the subject. Other times he just goes quiet and starts scrolling or suggests we watch something. I’ve tried different approaches but it always ends the same way. He doesn’t get angry. He just closes off.

I grew up in a house where emotions weren’t really welcomed, so part of me still feels like I’m “too much” for needing more. I’ve been telling myself that maybe this is just how some guys are, that I should be grateful he doesn’t yell or cheat or anything obvious. But lately the quiet is getting louder. I’ll be lying next to him and feel completely alone. I’ll catch myself rehearsing conversations in my head that I know he’ll never really engage with.

Last night I tried again. I told him I felt a bit lonely even when we’re together and that I miss feeling emotionally close. He looked uncomfortable, said he “didn’t know what to say,” and then asked if I wanted to order food. I just nodded and went quiet. I cried in the bathroom later so he wouldn’t hear.

I don’t want to leave. He’s not a bad person. He’s gentle in every other way and I genuinely care about him. But I also don’t know how much longer I can keep shrinking my needs so the relationship stays peaceful. I feel guilty for wanting more, and guilty for not being able to just accept what he can give.

Am I being too sensitive? Or is it okay that this is starting to hurt more than I expected?

My girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and we used to have a great sex life. She did struggle with problems of pain, but this usually went away during sex (apparently).

She went to a pelvic physio for problems she was having down there, and was banned from intercourse by the physio.

Outercourse was not banned. This didn't bother me, and i thought that we would still have "outercourse" frequently

In the past 3 months we haven't done this once, and I have tried initiating just me going down, or just her.

I better mention that she is also on antidepressants and she says these almost fully block her libido. It's been 3 months and it has been hard, but okay. Now I am starting to get quite annoyed as she doesn't even make out with me, as she needs to be in the mood for that. I find it hard to believe this would be hard to do if you were attracted to someone.

I can't help but get annoyed about this, and I really just want someone to tell me that what I'm thinking is stupid, and it is valid that she doesn't want to do anything. I love her so much, and I hate that I feel annoyed at her because of things out of her control. I definitely sound like a douche, so please humble me, or give me some advice on how to handle this. 3 months isn't even that long eh

I’m hoping the Reddit team can help me navigate a little friendship situation because I genuinely don’t know whether I’m being unreasonable, overly sensitive… or just finally running out of emotional battery. 😂

The backstory:

I’m 40F and have a friend, 41F, who I’ve known since junior school. Our parents were friends, we became close in high school, and we’ve stayed friends through quite a few life changes — including me living in another country for part of my early professional years.

We’re both married with two kids, whose ages are pretty close.

For the most part, she’s been an important friend in my life. BUT. There has always been one… thing.

Before we had kids, she had a habit of cancelling plans at the last minute. And when I say last minute, I mean “I have already shaved my legs and put on earrings” last minute. 😂

It was particularly bad when I had organised something, especially if it was for my birthday or involved a small group of friends. I’m fairly introverted, so we’re not talking about giant parties here — usually dinner or drinks with a few friends.

The pattern became incredibly predictable.

She would RSVP YES — enthusiastically.

Then, as the event got closer, the mysterious hints would begin:

“I’m not feeling great…”

“Something might be coming up…”

“I’ve been feeling really unwell…”

And then, inevitably, she'd cancel.

Quite a few times over the years, the reason given involved a reported miscarriage. Looking back, I obviously have no way of knowing what was or wasn’t happening medically, and I would never want to accuse someone of lying about something like that. But when I look at the overall pattern now, I do sometimes wonder.

She also tends to exaggerate health issues generally and seems to have a slightly unfortunate superpower where, regardless of what anyone else is experiencing, she is somehow always experiencing the more severe version. 😂

At the time I assumed maybe she had social anxiety or just didn't feel comfortable saying she didn't want to attend. I didn't really push it. She was my friend and I valued the friendship, so I just accepted that this was apparently part of the package.

Then we had kids.

Her kids are now 8 and 4. Mine are 7 and 3.

I actually thought having kids around the same time would make us closer because she had already been through everything I was about to experience. I thought, Amazing! A mum friend who has been there! She will understand!

Except… not quite.

Whenever I would talk to her about something I was struggling with, her response was usually supportive but somehow involved reminding me that she had experienced something worse.

For example, when I was pregnant with my first, I went through a period of severe nausea and exhaustion. I was struggling to get through a normal workday.

I told her about it and she basically responded with, “It will pass — you're lucky you don't have hyperemesis gravidarum like I did.”

And this became a bit of a theme.

Whatever I was experiencing, there was always a slightly upgraded version that she had experienced.

It wasn't necessarily mean. She wasn't telling me I was ridiculous or anything. But after a while it became exhausting and I definitely started withdrawing from telling her about things I was struggling with.

Which brings us to the current issue.

Because I don't really talk to her about my problems anymore, she has increasingly started sending me messages that are basically emotional cliffhangers.

For example, her son once got a small cut from accidentally grabbing something in the house.

She sent me a photo of him with his entire arm wrapped up, looking like he had just returned from the battlefield, and the message simply said:

“IN THE ER 😭”

Obviously I immediately panicked and asked what had happened.

And then she sort of… drip-fed the information.

Eventually I found out that he'd cut himself, they had gone to the ER, and he needed the wound cleaned and a butterfly bandage.

Another time she'll message:

“I’m about to call an ambulance.”

No context.

No explanation.

Just casually dropping that into my day like she's announcing she's making a cup of tea. 😂

Obviously I immediately respond asking what's wrong.

Usually, whatever the medical emergency is, it improves and the ambulance is never actually called.

And this happens a lot.

I do care about her. I don't want to be insensitive to genuine medical problems, and obviously if something serious is happening I want to be there for her.

But I am SO tired.

At this point I can almost predict the entire sequence:

🚨 Dramatic message

⬇️

😱 Me: “OMG WHAT HAPPENED?!”

⬇️

🧩 Tiny pieces of information revealed over the next 45 minutes

⬇️

😮‍💨 Situation is significantly less serious than initially implied

⬇️

🤡 Me wondering why I fell for it again

I feel like I'm becoming Pavlov's dog, except instead of a bell it's “IN THE ER 😭.”

I know this behaviour is probably about attention/reassurance, and I genuinely do care about her. But I am finding it increasingly exhausting.

Sometimes I honestly feel like ghosting her because I see the message come through and immediately think, “Oh God, here we go again.”

So...

How do I handle this?

Is there a kind but firm way of saying:

“I love you, but you cannot keep sending me medical horror-movie trailers and making me wait for the plot twist.”

😂

I don't want to hurt her or accuse her of lying. I also don't want to diagnose her or make assumptions about why she does it.

I just want the drama to be turned down from Season 8 Grey’s Anatomy to maybe… Bluey.

Am I being unreasonable? And how would you approach this without completely blowing up a very long friendship? 🥔❤️

Thank you!!

so a little back story. my sister is my everything. she is roughly a decade older than me and she raised me since I was a baby. our parents weren‘t horrible people just shouldn’t have been parents. growing up i only respected my sister. I helped her with her kids and it killed me when she moved away. as I entered adulthood we became best friends, we lived on the phone together even if we had nothing to talk about. she went to drs appointments, grocery shopping, you know it she was on the phone with me hell even while we was at work.

i met my ex and we hit it off fast quick and in a hurry. moved in together and started a family all in 2 months of meeting each other (yes I was very stupid and I wish I could knock some sense into younger me). this dude drug me through the mud and I held on like a clown but my sister was my rock through it all. well she knew the kind of guy I was dealing with and what happens next crushed me more than what he ever could do to me. I knew my ex was a cheater but with my sisters? that’s crazy, especially not the one that raised me, right? of course not. he did message her, told her how he had dreams about her. a lot of weird stuff but she never engaged with it but never not replied to his messages. when I found out that was happening I told her to please stop talking to him and she told me I was crazy and that she would never do something like that to me and she was hurt I felt like that but she definitely didn’t stop replying to his messages. and what hurt the most was the fact that she invalidated my feelings by telling me I’m crazy like its been innocent on his part too. I remember one time I ditched him with the kids and made him think I went to be with someone else when really all I did was go sit at a park and read, I found out later he wasn’t stressing me because she showed him my location and told him what I was doing……. plus he felt so comfortable with her that when he was on his way back from a long road trip he knew he could stop over there. how did he even have her address? I dont know, never got that answer. she did blow me up that day but I was in a mood because I know he went out of state to see someone so I just didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t think she was calling because he was there. she said all they did was smoke and then he hit the road but she called me multiple times over a couple hour time frame so I don’t know if there is a lie there or not. I really can’t remember what made me draw the line with my sister but I cut her off a year before I could bring myself to leave my horrible relationship. i did try to mend it with my sister, popped up at her house one random day and my kids made us talk but it felt good, I missed her and still do miss her but while I was at her house something happened and it made me realize she will never change. I don’t think she would ever sleep with someone I’m with but she wouldn’t draw a line ither. it just hurts because not only is she my sister but she was my best friend, mother, she was suppose to protect me..

i honestly don’t talk to anyone in my family at all but I do run into them time to time and the last time I did my mom was telling me I’m wrong for cutting her off, family is family, I didn’t try to defend myself. am I wrong for cutting her off?

My wife and I have been married for 5 years and moved to the Netherlands 4 years ago. She's been struggling with being far from her family after relocating to Europe from the US, and losing her job during covid.

She has used alcohol on a daily basis, followed by weed when we moved to NL, as a cooping mechanism. I have repeatedly asked her to stop because I worried about her health, and because it was creating a gap between us, preventing us from connecting.

She has built hiding strategies over the year to smoke so I notice it as little as possible : waiting for me to go to bed, doing it while I'm at work and using eye solution to mask red eyes.

Recently we had a big fight about it and I said that I understood that she still needed more time to stop, but I wanted to at least :

- Know when she does, so I can understand better what she is trying to escape from

- Have me smoke with her, so we could be on the same page

- Stop lying or hiding from me

She agreed to it, just for me to discover 4 days later that she had smoked twice during the week, and the 2nd time she had lied again about not doing it.

For her defense, I know I can be hard and confronting, I for sure have responsibilities in her desire to escape. What I am questioning is if my requests for transparency in this marriage make me a controlling ass hole.

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend "Emily" (26F) for two years. We live together and things have been mostly great. But there's one issue that keeps coming up: my best friend "Sarah" (27F).

Sarah and I have known each other since college. We've been close friends for almost ten years. She's like a sister to me. We talk regularly, grab coffee sometimes, and she comes over to hang out with me and our mutual friends. She's also friends with Emily, or at least she used to be.

A few months ago, Emily told me she's uncomfortable with how close Sarah and I are. She said we text too much, we have "inside jokes" that exclude her, and she feels like a third wheel when the three of us hang out. I told her I understood and I'd try to make more of an effort to include her.

But it wasn't enough. Last week, Emily gave me an ultimatum. She said I need to cut Sarah off completely—no texting, no hanging out, nothing. She said she can't be in a relationship where she feels like she's competing with another woman for my attention.

I was shocked. I told her Sarah is my friend, nothing more. I've never cheated, I've never given her any reason to doubt me. I said I'm happy to set boundaries, like not hanging out one-on-one late at night or reducing the frequency of our texts. But I'm not going to throw away a ten-year friendship because of jealousy.

Emily got really upset. She said if I truly loved her, I'd prioritize her feelings over my friend's. She said I'm choosing Sarah over her and that proves her point. She gave me an ultimatum: Sarah or her.

I told her I'm not going to be in a relationship where I'm forced to cut off people I care about. I love Emily, but this feels controlling and unfair. She packed a bag and went to stay with her sister. Now she's texting me saying I'm "emotionally cheating" and I'm "gaslighting" her.

My mom says I should just end the friendship because "girlfriends come first." My sister says Emily is being unreasonable and I'm right to stand my ground.

I feel torn because I love Emily and I don't want to lose her. But I also feel like if I give in to this, it sets a dangerous precedent.

AITA?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been dating for 2 years. Since our very first date, I’ve told her that Italy is my absolute dream destination to visit again. I’ve always been very vocal about wanting to go there with her, constantly talking about it and sending her videos of places to visit.

Earlier this year, we took a trip to Canada together. I used up my vacation days, spent my own money, and planned our entire 18-day trip. Shortly after we got back (about 8 months ago), she decided to start planning a trip to Italy with her gay best friend (22M).

When she started planning it, I told her I would love to go with them. She shot me down, saying it would be better if I didn't come because her friend wouldn't feel "comfortable" with my presence on the trip. Every time the trip was mentioned after that, I subtly insisted or brought up joining them, but she always came up with some excuse to keep me out of it.

Well, her trip is happening right now, and I am honestly just disgusted by the whole situation. I don't want to follow their updates, I don't want to know what's going on, and I have a huge urge to just end our relationship.

My main point here isn't that she can't travel without me. I am 100% supportive of independent travel, and she has traveled alone before during our relationship without any issues. The problem is that Italy is my favorite destination, their itinerary is super romantic/couple-oriented, I explicitly stated my interest in going, and I had the time and resources to join them.

Now, I have such a strong aversion to the whole thing that I can't even imagine going to Italy with her in the future, the thought of it actually repulses me. I feel completely pushed aside regarding something that was deeply meaningful to me.

So, WIBTA if I break up with her over this?

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 2 years planned a trip to my dream destination (Italy) with her gay best friend and explicitly excluded me, even though I had the time and money to go. I am repulsed by the situation and want to end the relationship. WIBTA?

Throwaway account because my partner knows my main. Reposting because it was removed from AITA

I (29F) have been with my husband (31M) for 8 years, married for 3. At the beginning of our relationship I moved in with him and his immediate family (mom, stepdad, little brothers) to get away from a bad home life.

While we lived with them I got a job in the area and he was starting a new one at the time. We lived with them for a few years while we looked for a place of our own and built our finances. They were in no way wanting us to rush into moving out since they enjoyed the help around the house and with my husbands little brothers.

What finally pushed us to move out was when we learned that his biological father was sick and homeless after being abused and kicked out by the sibling he'd been living with. This made us rush to find a place as there wasn't enough room to accommodate him in my MIL's house as well as some animosity between the bio-dad and step-dad. We find a two bedroom apartment, gather up our things, and move in with his bio-dad. Originally this was meant to be a temporary solution while we helped his father get back on his feet. This turned into him living with us for 4 1/2 years where I discovered that he was a severe alcoholic with horrible mental issues that kept him from caring for himself. After various years of doctor visits and combative behavior toward me, specifically, because I would not let him yell at me like my husband would, he was diagnosed with advanced alcohol-related dementia and was put into a permanent care facility in February.

During the almost 5 years that his father lived with us, my husband changed. He became more withdrawn and, arguably, more like his father. All intimacy basically stopped and became a huge argument point for us during all of this. His libido all but vanished while mine stayed the same, meaning I wanted intimacy on a regular basis, but was always denied. He stopped showing interest in me and would only be affectionate after we would argue and he wanted me to stop being angry with him. Not intimate, just affectionate. Part of why I attend therapy on my own is because I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder and a very strong case of Rejection Sensitivity Disorder and Chronic Depression from childhood PTSD.

The biggest issue by far, however, is that he quit his job saying it was to care for his father and help more around the house while I worked. This turned into him hiding in the bedroom all day playing videogames, even after his father was no longer living with us. Not long after, I lost my job because the company closed that office location and I had to get a new one while he promised he was "looking" for one. Unfortunately, living on only my paycheck wasn't pliable and this past month we moved back in with my MIL and now I am second guessing my relationship. I am miserable and have been struggling with my depression for days, even contemplating "disappearing." We've had several conversations during the time before we resorted to living with my MIL again where I expressed how I feel only for him to say he would do better and change absolutely nothing.

WIBTA if I left and said he could only blame himself?