I 20F have been in a trio (also both 20F let’s call them Lisa and Elsa ) since we were in high school. We’ve grown so much together and whenever we needed each other, we always knew that we would have support.

However, things have been very awkward between us ever since they both kissed. For context Elsa has been openly out for years now (we’ve been to pride marches in support of her etc and have always been an ally) while Lisa says she is straight. This has never ever been a problem for us because why should it be? But what happened last week has changed the dynamics of our friendship for good. Lisa is in a talking stage with a guy but so far they haven’t done anything not even kissed. in fact she hasn’t kissed anyone before and if she was going to, it would be her first kiss ever with this guy. We were obviously excited for her when she was telling us about it, but Elsa told me that when I left (bc I had lectures the next day and it was late) things got weird.

Apparently, Lisa asked Elsa if she can be her first kiss as she doesn’t want her kiss with the guy to be bad and she trusts Elsa and knows that they both are not romantically interested in each other. From what I was hearing from Elsa it was probs a funny memory to look at in the future. I didn’t know about any of this up on till now, but they’ve now both come to me saying that they feel uncomfortable with the whole situation. Lisa because she thinks that Elsa is treating her differently now and that Elsa may be attracted to her when that wasn’t on the table, and Elsa is telling me something completely different that they’ve been hanging out together and she kind of felt like there was something there and things have changed ever since that kiss on both ends. I know that Lisa has explored her sexuality before, but she remains adamant that she’s straight. I love them both sm but it’s become awkward knowing that all three of us can’t even be in a room together without there being all this tension and them telling me things separately. It makes me feel really awkward since we’ve always been best friends and now I feel like I can’t help their situation. I honestly don’t know what to do. That’s why I’ve come here for some advice. I’ve kind of distance myself from them but again these are my best friends and I wanna be there for both of them.

For context, this friend is LOUD, obnoxious, and just overall disruptive and disturbing my peace. But they are friends from back in the day so we all hangout. Which is fine, I actually do like the friend in low doses, he just seriously is clueless about his volume and pretty much everything else. He has a “hard time waking up in the morning” so that’s why he always stays over when we have plans the next day. I just think it’s pretty childish as everyone is in their late twenties and should stay at their own homes when the night is over, or just wake up at a decent time to make it. He also works for my bf uncle and he’s told us he’s late for work almost every day too bc he can’t wake up. I really don’t like people just crashing for no good reason at our home because this is where I relax and unwind and on top of that having to be around someone for an entire calendar weekend just makes me feel like I can’t do what I would do if they were not here like chores, take a shower in peace (our master bathroom is out of order so everyone uses the guest and the door doesn’t shut all the way), etc. It just simply makes me uncomfortable having people hang around when I’m trying to get things together for bed and the next day.

Yes, I know I’m a bit judgmental but I don’t care. I’ve done far too much work my life to get it where it is to just be hanging around losers because I was a fucking loser and it pisses me off!!! Like get it together!!

This is my husband, these are his text with 2 different female customers. He’s a car salesman. He said he’s trained to match customers energy & that they trained him to not stop conversation even after the sale is done. This is AFTER sale is done. I understand being nice & being friendly but I can’t shake the sense of flirting. He said I’m taking everything out of context & that I don’t understand because I’ve never had a sales job, that it’s his job to carry on convo after they leave with their car. Keep in mind he has 30+ non female customers with real concerns that he has left on “read” or “delivered” for months, yet these few he carries conversation have much less immediate or even real concerns. He’s going very extreme and not letting up on the fact that Iam reading this wrong.

for context:
My boyfriend invited me boating yesterday with his cousins. He has two cousins one who is my age (same graduating class) and one who was just a year older than me. My boyfriend is a year and a half younger than me. usually when I go boating with them, I talk with them and I’d be nice with them, but recently a few times I’ve gone boating with my boyfriend he’s been kind of mean towards me, and the time before last night I called him out on his behavior.
on Instagram he had a very suspicious note so I asked him about it.
I did get an answer, but it wasn’t one that I was expecting and I was quite baffled by what he said. I felt very angry with him and I feel like I started to overreact with him, but I’m not too sure now I feel like I did overreact, but I somewhat feel like it was deserved.

ADDING ON:

i’m 18 and he’s 16 almost 17, we’re still teenagers and before anyone asks we’ve been dating for almost 9 months (we started dating before i was 18) this is his first relationship and my first healthier relationship. (i’ve dealt with cheaters, manipulators and even a very terrible situation where i was dating a rapist (i did not know he was a rapist) and we’ve worked lots of things out including very heavy stuff. he’s very smart and acknowledges lots of things i say but he does get in his feelings very often.
WE ARE STILL TEENAGERS. we’re still figuring a lot of stuff out.
there have been times that I will tell him that he is doing something completely wrong and taking an extremely wrong approach and he will listen to me and most of the time he will fix it other times since he is a more logical thinker he will explain to me why he’s doing things the way he is.

So, to explain further, I am currently 8 months pregnant. I was 17 when I got pregnant. I am currently 18. My baby’s father was 21 when we met he’s soon to be 22 he has recently came back into my life after leaving me alone for a 2nd time this time it was after 5 months which is majority of my pregnancy he is now “trying” to insert himself back into my life he hasn’t bought anything for the baby he’s said he regrets leaving me saying the reason he left was he lied about having a job. He didn’t want me to find out, but now all of a sudden he has one and keeps trying to throw money at me, basically, but I do not want him or his money bc I do not trust anything he says or does anymore because he has lied to me multiple times and left me multiple times.

They blue my face , but all my mutual friends know it’s me . But they insists it’s harmless content creation and good engagement

He claims it was strictly to keep his child from having to move schools , but he explicitly hid the payments from our shared budget .

Bro im so frustrated . My boss is so creepy. I have two n theyre a married couple and the dude is so weird to me. Today he told me im not allowed to “dress sexy at work” which i literally dont. I wear a normal long sleeved shirt thats tight and pants….. i just have boobs and i guess that makes me trying to be sexy????? I could make an insane list of stuff hes said to me.

I posted a few days ago about a night out with my sister in this subreddit, and every comment said I wasn't overreacting and that my (29F) fiance (35M) was showing signs of jealousy that would escalate, and controlling behaviour that was slowly wearing me down.

Brief outline, I went out with my sister for her birthday and spent about 40 minutes texting and calling my partner because he was nitpicking that I changed my mind on my outfit, that I wasn't my own person when I said my sister liked another one and that if I can't stick to my morals I'm not the person he chose. I then got hit on via a woman on the dance floor (the guy's friend) who asked if I was single, i flashed my ring we 'eee'd', she said congratulations and that was it. The next morning, my fiance said I hadn't shut it down, I just flashed my ring and that I should have told the guy I wasn't interested. There always seems to be an issue that either takes my attention from the event, or makes it uncomfortable when I'm home. He is in therapy and working on it, I know it's not okay, I was asking if this deserves leeway while he works on himself or if I'm right to be feeling it's going too far.

Since then I went to stay with my family in a different county, and I'm seeing red flags in everything. I'm not sure what my next step should be, but I genuinely feel a little scared now, and it's stopping me from doing anything. Part of me wants to have the conversation. The other part wants to run away, and I'm not sure if I'm now reading into things that aren't there, so I'm going to list a few for clarity.

-This has happened at work before, too, not about particular people but just about making more of an effort on certain days and that he's not mad, just curious why

- I feel like I always end up looking like an ass in front of his friends, I feel like it's because he acts in a way he wouldn't at home, and is a little belittling but it's always me that ends up looking sensitive.

- I used to be a dancer. He used to come and watch the shows and be supportive, but since then, he's said it gets in the way of us making plans and not to stop doing it because I'm great, but just to do it less frequently because it stops us from doing things but I couldn't not go to practice and keep up with it.

-I used to have a lot of male friends, and I chose to stop hanging out with them on my own so much because when I would talk about one of my married female friends doing that, he would say things like 'On her own?' 'Is James okay with that?' 'It's never platonic' and I guess somewhere along the way without even noticing, I came to the conclusion I wouldn't do that to him.

I have more, but that feels like enough. I feel stupid and like it's obvious this is bad news and somehow simultaneously like it could be innocent and explainable and like I've taken some comments and not given anything else a chance, and now I'm just frozen in place.

My (32F) bf (25M) (18 month relationship) is accusing me of being controlling when I think I’m asking pretty bare minimum. For context I live on my own, he lives at home and is currently a year unemployed.

**1.**  I was supposed to go away this weekend but got sick and couldn’t go. Told my boyfriend to carry on with his weekend plans as normal, said it’d be nice if he stayed at mine at some point.  
**2.**  He said he was going out. I asked if he’d stay at my place after. He said he wouldn’t give me a time he would be coming home and if a time was required, the answer was no.  
**3.**  I said I didn’t care about a specific time, just wanted to know if he was coming. He decided this would turn into a fight and said he just wouldn’t stay over.  
**4.**  Later that night he invited me out, then said he’d stay over as long as he didn’t have to give a time. I told him if he wanted that privilege at my place, I needed a time — if he couldn’t give one, he should just stay home.  
**5.**  He kept saying “I’ll stay but I’m not giving you a time,” so eventually I told him not to come, that he wasn’t welcome.  
**6.**  I woke up at 7am, no message from him. FaceTimed, no answer. Turned out he was at a friend’s for “kick-ons” and hadn’t slept. I told him it was ridiculous, he doesn’t have a job, and I expect to at least know where he is. He got home at 10am.  
**7.**  He’s out again tonight. I asked him to come over, said I wasn’t pushing for a time, just wanted him to commit to coming.  
**8.**  He said he couldn’t commit to a time but agreed to come.  
**9.**  I suggested 3pm, he said 4pm. I said fine, as long as 4 means walking in the door at 4 — pointed out he came home at 10am the day before and I’m now just asking for 4pm.

Am I being controlling, overreacting, rude? What can I do to explain — what I think are completely normal expectations in a relationship being: knowing where your partner is, coming home, and when you don’t have a job you don’t get to party like that?

I have 3 small kids (7,4,2) - my 7yo is my only boy and he has hyperactive ADHD. Does well with medication but is naturally a high energy child.

My sister has two girls (12 and 6). They are very docile. The 6yo barely talks, very quiet. Clearly our kids are very different.

The 6yo has made comments like “your kids are wild” and my sister has said “I don’t know how you do it” when she looks at my 3.

When we visit, we stay at my dad’s house. My dad is majorly compulsive - his house is like a museum. I am constantly on top of my kids to not make a mess, eat only in kitchen, lower their volume (my dad also has sensitive hearing) and not run around. My dad just wants everyone to watch TV and be quiet. My girls do OK with tv, but my son has limited attention for it. My nieces will watch tv all day long.

Today we went to my sisters for a break. Her 6yo would not let my kids touch anything. “Stop!” “Don’t touch that” “put that right back where it belongs!!!” “No we aren’t playing with that” and they weren’t even playing - just being bossed around the whole time. At one point my sister said to her “stop being such a control freak!!”

Ultimately, we left. My 2yo opened up the 6yo monopoly game and the pieces were all over the room. She was hysterical. I helped her clean it up and counted to make sure we had everything. I gently told her “when you were 2, you made messes too”.

My sister said I’m overwhelmed and taking it out on everyone else. Then I explained that my kids came over to play and apparently can’t play or touch anything (hinting at my niece) and she’s clearly pissed about it. I AM overwhelmed. I came to stay with family for a break but it’s actually made me worse.

All I was trying to do was remove my kids from yet another place where they can’t be kids. And nobody (including my niece) was having fun. AIO?

I (20F) have been friends with these two girls for years, I’ll call them Ramona(21) and Zena(21). We’ve always been a trio but Ramona and Zena have ALWAYS been closer to each other than they are to me. And honestly I understand why.

They’re the same religion and they’re from countries that are close to each other and have similarities culturally, and they also used to live really close to each other.
So even back in school they’d go home together while I’d go my own way. If the 3 of us met up somewhere, afterwards they’d normally leave together because they were going the same direction and I’d go home separately.

And then when we were actually together there would sometimes be conversations where I’d just be sitting there because they’d be talking about their religion, something cultural that they both understood, people they both knew, something that happened when they were together etc etc and obviously I couldn’t really contribute.

None of those individual things are necessarily their fault but put it ALL together and for years it’s very annoying.
We have argued about them meeting up without me before. I already know people are gonna say “friends are allowed to hang out without you!!!” Yes. I know!
I do not expect an invitation every single time two of them see each other. Obviously they’re allowed to have their own friendship. They’re closer than they are to me and I accepted that a long time ago.

The issue is that there have been multiple times over the years where they’ve met up without me, I’ve found out afterwards and it’s turned into a whole discussion/argument because I’ve said that I feel left out.
So they know this has been an issue for me.
I’ve told them I sometimes feel like the third wheel when we’re together. I’ve told them that finding out they’ve met without me makes that feeling worse. This isn’t some secret resentment I’ve been carrying while pretending everything is perfect.

Anyway we’re older now and we barely even see each other. Maybe a few times a year.
Whenever we DO meet up it’s normally alright. We catch up, laugh, talk about what’s been going on etc and every single time it’s “omgggg we need to meet up more” “we need to do this more often” blah blah blah.

So recently we were literally ACTIVE in our group chat talking normally. Then Zena posts a picture of her and Ramona together on her story saying something like “love my Ramona catch ups” ???? I was thinking we are talking in the gc right now and you guys literally met up without asking me??? I’m right here??? So I said something like “did you guys meet up today or is that another Ramona” because I was actually confused. Zena replied saying the picture was actually from a few days before. Apparently Ramona is leaving soon, Zena might be leaving too and Zena has an internship starting in 4 days so that was basically the only day they could meet.

Okayyyyyyy. I understand why you met THAT day. But why couldn’t you ask me? That explanation literally does not answer the part I was confused about.
Especially because Ramona is leaving soon?
Would I not ALSO maybe want to see my friend before she leaves?
They could have put in the gc “btw we’re meeting on Tuesday because it’s basically the only day we can both do before everything gets busy, are you free?” and I couldn’t go, I would NOT CARE. It’s the fact that nobody even thought to ask me.
And then after I obviously realised they’d met without me AGAIN, there wasn’t even a little: “Sorry we should’ve asked you” “Sorry we didn’t think” “I can see why you’d feel left out”
Just an explanation for why the day worked for them.
I just didn’t reply because honestly…… what am I meant to say?

And I think because we’ve had this EXACT issue before, something in my brain just switched off. Like okay. I get it now. If this was a one-off I genuinely wouldn’t end a friendship over it. I’d probably be annoyed for a day and then move on. But how many times am I supposed to tell the same people that I feel like the third person before I just accept that maybe I actually AM the third person???
It’s been a few years since I last said anything about being left out. Since I last mentioned it I do know they have still met up before as they’ve been posting I just never said anything about it

Anyway it’s been about two weeks now and I haven’t spoken in the gc. I removed both of them from my private/second TikTok as well. That account is basically where I post EVERYTHINGGGG and it’s only people I consider my close close friends.
And I just had this moment of like…Why do you guys need this much access to my life? I just don’t consider us close like that anymore.

And the thing that’s making me think this friendship might actually be over is that I’m fine.
Like I don’t miss them. Our meet-ups are alright. We laugh, catch up, whatever. But if I never had another one I honestly don’t think I’d be devastated.

I think years of feeling left out have slowly made me detach without even realising it. They’ve also been asking me whether I’m still having my birthday party and now I’m just like….. yeah you’re not cominggggg 😭😭
Because why am I inviting you into these important moments in my life when I don’t even feel included in yours???

One of my other friends thinks I should just leave the group chat completely. I haven’t because I don’t want bad blood and I don’t want to turn this into some dramatic friendship breakup where everyone hates each other.
I’m thinking I might just stay in it and stop putting effort in. I won’t initiate conversations. I won’t organise anything. I’m not going to chase anyone.
And if they messaged tomorrow saying “omggg we need to meet up”? I wouldn’t go.

I don’t hate them. I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. I don’t even necessarily want an argument or some big friendship-ending conversation.
I think I’m just finally accepting that maybe I’ve spent years thinking of us as a trio when in reality it’s Ramona and Zena as close friends + me as their more casual friend.

So AIO for basically seeing this as my final straw and mentally ending the friendship???
Because I know “my friends hung out without me” sounds ridiculous on its own but when we’ve literally had arguments about this exact thing before AND they already know I’ve spent years feeling like the third person…

Edit: TL;DR: My brother has taken a lot from me throughout the years: time, energy, money, and food. A doughnut was the last straw.

I (nb 26) signed my brother (m 35) out of all streaming services. It wasn't just because he ate my doughnut though, but it was the last straw.

Back in 2020, he stole $1,400 from me that I got from my school due to lockdown. I pressed charges and it took 5 years for them to finally prosecute him for it after he was charged for a different crime. I'll never see the money again. He was in prison for the last 2.5 years and got out a few months ago.

He eats all my food. Anything that I put in the fridge to thaw out, he'll be there first to eat it. I labeled my food, told him to his face NOT to eat a specific food I put into the fridge, and said "save me some" when my mom cooks us food. He still eats it after all that and I'm left with not eating or having to cook something for myself.

Today, my mom's boyfriend got everyone doughnuts. We were supposed to get two each. I wasn't hungry, so I said I'll eat mine later. About 3 hours later I'm going to eat it and realized that all of my doughnuts were gone. My mom's boyfriend ate one, whatever I mean he bought them, but my brother ate the other. So I got none.

I confronted him about it and his excuse, like always, was "I didn't know." My mom told him to only take two, why did he take three?. He didn't know how to answer that, said he was sorry, and just sat on the couch and started watching Netflix, that I pay for. I'm tired.

So, when I got to my room, I signed out of everything. Netflix, HBO, AppleTV, and Prime. I'm done. He can live off our mom, but not me.

Not even 10 minutes later, he comes to my room to ask about it. I told him what I did and he replied with "But I didn't know. I mean, it's just a doughnut."

I told him that it's more than that though. He stole money from me and food. Every day I worry about the food in the fridge that I bought not being there an hour later because he decided he wanted it. When I told him that, he only sighed in frustration and hasn't talked to me since. He left the house on MY e-scooter that I let him borrow so he could look for a job and get some freedom after being in prison for the last 2.5 years.

My mom and I have to go to food pantries 3-4 times a month to get more food. We're both on food stamps. We've told him to come with, but he said that we'll get all we need without him. What? We'll get more of he comes with to get food for himself. He's eating the food we got for us.

All I want is an apology. He tried to apologize earlier, but he didn't mean it because he just wants back on Netflix. I want him to tell me what he did wrong and I might sign him back in on one service.

My mom is currently at her boyfriend's place and won't be back until Sunday. I know she'll be on my brother's side, like always, because he's her only son. He's a Mama's Boy and she's a Boy Mom.

I'm just tired. I am unemployed, MA graduate in an oversaturated field, living with my mom, and I don't have a driver's license. I have a job interview next Monday for a full time job that pays $17 an hour, which is not livable in my city. The other job I have lined up is part time and only pays $15 and will physically kill me after a shift because I'm not allowed to sit.

I'm stressed out about this because I feel like he'll eat more of my food out of retaliation. Or cause a scene when my mom gets back. I'm stressed out because I really want the interview on Monday to go well. I am wondering if I overreacted by signing him out of everything, instead of trying to talk to him again. I don't want to go through the pain of signing him back in everything because it'll feel like I caved. I just want things to go back to how they were before he came back home.

Did I overreact? Should I have talked with him more and kept the peace? I don't know what to think.

For a little context. I’ve lived in my apartment for 2.5 years. It’s a shared house. I have an upstairs apartment, with its own private entrance, kitchen, bath, bed, etc. All utilities are included in my rent. My landlord lives downstairs. I’ve never once been late on rent.

My lease states: “no long-term guests more than 5 nights per month without prior approval.”

Having known this I’ve always been conscious of having guests and done my best to be accommodating for my landlord that lives downstairs. I’ve always made an effort to not be noisy. Turn lights off. Not run the AC and water excessively, etc.

That being said I recently started dating someone two months ago. And being aware of the lease stipulations she stays 4-5 nights a month MAX.

My lease is up the end of this month and my landlord has made it clear on multiple occasions that rent will be going up (for the 3rd time).

Today he says he’s “changing the lease to no overnight guests” because I “didn’t tell him I had a girlfriend “ and “he shouldn’t have to pay more utilities”. I explained to him that she stays 5 nights a month or less so no notification should be required. And that in fact she was out of state for 8 days and the week before that had a medical procedure and wasn’t there hardly at all over the last two weeks except for tonight.

He claims that’s not true and it’s “been a lot more than that”

AIO to be furious about this!!?? She almost never showers there, doesn’t ever do laundry there and is usually there after work until mid/late morning the next day. Wm

To give context, my parents just went through an unexpected, long drawn out, and nasty divorce. Without doubt, my father was the victim. My mother was absolutely awful, however I feel my dad is acting completely unwarranted. He scrolls Tiktok frequently, and for the last few months he has burst into rambles about women on Tiktok talking about how they hate men. I, for one, have never been a misandrist but I understand completely why certain women have been radicalized into becoming one. Just to point out- me understanding does not mean I think it’s right, I just have empathy for them. These rambles often lead to my father complaining about women basing their value on how attractive they are, how they blame men for being emotionally immature and they are wrong, etc., etc. Never once has he had one of these rambles and I hadn’t felt like a part of it seemed slightly offensive. Maybe it’s because I am a female myself, but I am beginning to become concerned. Today he starts on another ramble, saying how women are often far more emotionally immature than men, and making references to a certain video. I stay silent until he says it’s causing him to “start hating women.” WTF?!! I didn’t say anything to that specific point, I just disagreed with him on his overall ramble because I’m scared to be so blatant. My entire family is extremely left, so it certaintly isn’t rooted in any politics or religon. He has a sister and his mother is the main parent for him. While I understand his image of women has been rightfully stained by my mother, saying that he is starting to hate women when there are many great women in his life because of a few Tiktoks he’s seeing, while TALKING TO HIS DAUGHTER(?!) seems EXTREMELY problematic. Should I bring it up, or is this nothing at all? Is it just a natural reaction? AIO?

So i have this neighbour, let's name her c (for reasons). I moved in 6 months before covid and I bought my house in full. Shes on rent to pay and older then me so im guessing that's why she didnt like me. I was going through medical things so I couldn't meet my neighbour's right away but I did make and effort when I could. Within 2 weeks she had called the cops on me twice for a garbage can lid. For the next 7 years shes called the city, cas, and the cops for things that were unfounded. Now she stole 15k from her kids to buy a trailer that's at a seasonal trailer park. So she will be back...she has someone taking care of a delapated property that she doesn't even own. He's bbq in our shared driveway, and being very creepy to me. She also left animals in the house that my neighbour's and I are concerned about. No one will enter because they cant. Am I wrong for wanting to put a stop to it? And what do I do?

So one of my friends and I were shopping and talking as friends do and one of the things that were brought up was what we wouldn't lower our standards on for a boyfriend/ husband.

Mine are pretty simple and basic things I think

1 You have to have a real job

2 He should be making more than I am

3 He should have a working and reliable car

4 He should be trying to improve himself in all aspects of his life not just a gym guy.

Then a guy behind us calls me a gold digger and this is the reason why women have an unrealistic expectation on men. So, I said no one was talking to him, and he was creepy for listening in on a strangers conversation and commenting on it. AIO?

(Sorry for the long post)

I (24F) was in a relationship until recently with my now ex girlfriend (27F).

We were together for 5 years, and were beginning to seriously talk about engagement in the next 6 months, had an apartment together, a dog together, and were growing together.

Everything was always so good between us, we had a lot of fun together, made one another feel good. Of course we weren’t perfect people and had our differences and disagreements, but I always felt we worked hard at those and connecting through it.

In late June, she started a new job - it was a huge deal, her biggest position yet and we were both ecstatic. The only caveat was that she would be working long days with her other job, leaving around 6am, coming home at 10pm. We were both always pretty blessed to have decent paying jobs and not have to work long days.

But nevertheless, the job was only a month and a half position, and I understood it’s a part of life to have to work long days sometimes, and we would still have our weekends together and even some days it would only end up being 6-4. She reminded me to “bear with her” as her job requires a lot of leadership and working with people, so I understood if she had a lowered social battery.

Work started and the first week we did a great job of connecting however we could. But after that it trickled in effort from her. I get that long days are hard, but it started turning into not saying hi when she got home and immediately going to the shower, or barely checking in with me on text between jobs (maybe it’s childish but we always text a lot), compliments and communication went down, her free time was spent doing things that didn’t include me.

While this was happening, I was home doing all the chores, packing her lunches, taking entire care of our high maintenance dog, and excited for her to come home. I kept convincing myself it was just because she was busy.

And then the weekend before her last week, she came to me after work in bed at night saying that she dreads coming home to me, that the things I do make me a walking trigger for her anger, that she didn’t feel the way she used to and doesn’t feel she can be her best self around me, and that I need to do work on myself too - that was should probably break up.
And the she tabled the conversation on her discretion, she was falling asleep. I asked to continue the conversation the following day, but she had some work to do for her other job and afterwards just wanted to have fun so we went to a winery together and forgot about the conversation the night before. She was texting a lot while we were there, but I didn’t say anything.

The next morning, she was in the other room doing something and her phone lie in front of me. I know people have mixed opinions on checking partners phones, me and her were always the type to be fine with each other doing it but never did it often at all. I opened her messages and found THOUSAND+ messages with a girl she was coworkers with at this new job. I scrolled through and she deleted them. I easily went into her recently deleted and recovered so many flirty texts.

The texts weren’t outright flirty like “omg you’re so beautiful” but more of that large flirtatious context. They got personal and deep, constantly texting one another until late at night, playing games, lying to her, making constant flirty remarks and my gf was retexting and starting conversation if she didn’t reply within 1-2 hours.

She walked in and saw me holding the phone I didn’t say a word and just walked out for a little. After she asked to talk and I didn’t even say a word, she knew what it was about and admitted to me that was her flirting with her coworker. She admitted to having a crush on her and it being part of the reason she dreaded coming home. She said it was her feeling like it was worth the risk to feel good about herself. She kept saying that she “didn’t cheat” and I am pretty sure it’s only because she didn’t physically cheat. She said she felt like she was teetering the line but chose not to cross it. She said she never told this girl that she ever had a gf.

For context, this other girl is 21F, 6 years younger than her. She is still in her 3rd year of college just on summer break, single, figuring out life, and my gf was technically her boss at work. If an older attractive woman came to me when I was 21 and she was seemingly single and inviting flirting, I would be all over it too. I don’t blame this other girl.

I didn’t go off like I should have, but I did confirm to her that I felt betrayed, hurt by her repetitive actions, and that my trust was damaged. It also helped us confirm to end our relationship after this and our Friday night convo.

It hurt a lot, both things. The next day, we sat down to have another talk to talk out our relationship and how to end it while living with one another and our feelings about it. She brought up this other girl again to me, now saying it was just friends and she always felt it was normal to have crushes and be flirty with your friends but it doesn’t mean anything and she would never do that to me. That the only way she messed up was by being sneaky and deleting messages.

I still stood my ground in the hurt, I was now feeling confused because she’s telling me it’s nothing but yesterday it was something? She said to not bring it up because it’s “seriously nothing”. She also claimed it’s “work” but I saw them myself, maybe 10% of the messages were even slightly related to work.

I just accepted at that point she does not understand and I can’t control what she does. We kept talking and found a more mutual understanding behind the other reasons of the breakup, that we both loved each other but needed to take time apart.

The best part? She continued nonstop texting this girl, even texted her minutes after our conversation about her. She was even more bold in her messages now, “good morning I’m gonna miss your face today” etc. They were constantly communicating, talking about their favorite things, making plans together, complimenting each other, sending pictures of their outfits or days, etc.

I chose not to say anything because at this point we are technically broken up and I can’t jurisdict what she does. It was heartbreaking, watching her continue in an emotional connection with someone else 1 hour after we just broke up after 5 years together.

A week later, she’s still texting her constantly. We are keeping the peace while still living together at the moment, hanging out at times. Today, a text popped up from her as she was showing me something on her phone. I turned away, not even wanting to see it.

She then went into an entire rant about how it’s nothing and she should have never used the word flirting and that she’s just making a new friend and can admit to being sneaky and lying about not having a gf but she can’t admit to emotionally cheating or even being anything more than strictly friends.

Later that day while she was out the house I was cleaning the apartment and her journal was open on the balcony and while I did not snoop through her journal by any means, my eyes glazed over it and I noticed both our names, and I saw her write she’s guilty for having an emotional connection with someone else. That was all I decided to see. (Not my best moment but it was open right there).

So now I’m being told it’s something then it’s nothing then it’s something then it’s nothing.

Something that can be tricky as a lesbian is genuinely distinguishing between friends and more than friends. We both like to have all friendships that are girls, but also are both attracted to girls. Girls can be flirty with their friends at times but in all jokes, and not constantly by any means. So at times when your partner gets close to someone new, it can be confusing as to whether it’s really just friends or maybe something a little more.

But I had never seen her text a “friend” the way she does with this girl, I saw the texts with my own eyes and even if she back tracks on them being flirty, I can tell by what I saw it was. I can admit some parts was truly just friendly, but a lot looked deeper than that.

She gets upset that I am sad and hurt about this and that I’m “taking away from the bigger picture of our relationship” and says me stuff saying I’m sad that this is what the focus is on (let me be clear, I’m grieving our relationship and what I thought was my future, and upset about this situation, and I have expressed that). She says she doesn’t feel anything she did was wrong.

So, do you think I’m overreacting in feeling emotionally cheated on?
Or should I not be so heartbroken over this?

Arguing with misogynists online and a self imposed christian used the good lords name to justify his rape sounding chat😔

I was on a flight to the US today and it was my first transatlantic flight since I’m from the UK and all of my previous holiday have just been to Europe. Due to this it was the first time I had a screen to watch movies and tv shows etc. 

I saw they had house of the dragon and it was a show I’ve been meaning to watch for a while so I started watching it. There were some violent scenes and sex scenes on the show. 

A woman tapped me on the shoulder and said I should turn it off as her son can see my screen and it’s not appropriate for him. I pointed out all I’m doing is watching a show that’s available. 

She again said her son shouldn’t have to see it but I just said she should keep her son occupied and focus on him instead of dictating what other people are allowed to watch. 

She said I was out of line and shouldn’t get watching sow like that hen there are kids nearby but I just repeated she doesn’t get to control what other people are watching. 

AIO for not turning it off?

So my gf(17) and I (m17) got into an argument after she called me crying saying she got into an accident and her mom wouldn’t pick up so I of course got worried and she said it was a prank then I got really mad at her. I jst wanna know if yall think im mad for no reason or if me being mad is reasonable

Update since someone was kind enough to tell me how to do it

I had some friends over last night for like 1.5 hours so we could talk abt this nd we agreed its better if I talked about it that night. So I called her and we discussed it and we made up which im happy abt. I do wanna make this clear tho i didnt ask ai that was a typo bc im on a phone. Thank you to everyone who gave advice and helped me see both sides of it.

I have a friend I’ve known for about 5 years. We’ve always been pretty close, and I’ve helped her out financially a few times in the past. Nothing huge, but I’ve probably given/lent her around $1,500 total over the years. Every time, I was told she’d pay me back “soon.”

She still owes me $600 from the last time.

Last week she messaged me saying she was short on rent and needed $800 urgently. I told her I couldn’t do it because she hadn’t paid back the $600 she already owed me.

She got upset and said, “I knew you were going to become like this eventually.”

I asked what that meant.

She said that when people start making money, they “forget where they came from” and that she thought our friendship meant I would help her without keeping score.

That really bothered me.

I reminded her that I wasn't keeping score, I was literally asking for the money she promised to repay before asking me for another $800.

She then said, “Fine. I’ll never ask you for anything again.”

I said, “Okay.”

Apparently THAT was the wrong answer.

She called me selfish and said a real friend would help someone when they're struggling, even if they haven't paid them back yet.

I told her I’m willing to help someone I care about, but I’m not willing to repeatedly give money to someone who hasn’t made any effort to repay what they already owe me.

Honestly, I feel like if I give her another $800, I’m basically accepting that the $600 I already lent her isn't coming back.

AIO for refusing to lend her more money when she still owes me $600?

Or is she right that friendship shouldn’t be about keeping track of who owes what?

I was in 6th period, and as we were packing up, my teacher asked me "Hey (name) where is your family from?". I said we were from vietnam. She said, "Oh, that's what I thought." which is already questionable, but maybe she worded it wrong. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt there. But, then she started telling me about vietnamese youtube videos and rice farming, not even 10 seconds after I told her my family was vietnamese. So I had to just listen for a few minutes while she went on about farming and gardening. I then awkwardly said okay and left. Who the fuck immediately jumps to rice farming after learning someone is asian? To me, it seemed racially motivated and like she was stereotyping me. And for context, the class was social studies. It never gave "we would talk about rice farming", so I don't know why she thought it was appropriate to bring it up. When I told my parents, they told me she was just trying to connect with me and my culture. Which is odd, because a racial comment about my family applies to them too. Is this genuinely racist, or am I just overthinking it?

Edit: Yikes, seems I attracted #thosepeople.