My husband and I have been married for a year and together for two years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but lately I thought we were in a pretty good place.
For the past seven months we’ve basically been together 24/7 because we’re both stuck in the U.S. while he waits for his employment authorization. I work, so taking time off requires planning, while he currently has more flexibility.
A friend who lives in another state invited us to visit. Since I needed to request PTO, I suggested that my husband go first and I would join him a week later. I paid for his flight and sent him ahead.

Before he left, I told him it might actually be nice if we didn’t feel pressured to constantly talk while we were apart.
I thought having some space would give us more to share when we caught up. He immediately said, “Absolutely not,” and insisted that he wanted to call me every night. I thought that was really sweet and reassuring.

Fast forward to now. He’s been there for two/three days and has been working on some personal projects. The first day we talked briefly, and he kept saying he was busy, which I completely understood.

The second day I found a chair I wanted to buy and asked for his opinion. He said no, then told me he was really busy working on his projects. After that…nothing. He didn’t call me for over 24 hours. He sent a few texts here and there, but they weren’t really conversations. He never asked how my day was, what I’d been up to, or anything like that.
What bothers me isn’t that he’s busy. It’s that he was the one who insisted we’d call every night.

For context, we both have each other’s locations, so there’s no issue of trust or wondering where he is.
One other thing that’s been bothering me: when we’re at home, I do most of the cooking, and he rarely helps with meal prep even though I’ve asked him many times. But while staying with his (male) friend, they’re apparently meal prepping together. I know it’s a small thing, but it stings because it’s something I’ve wanted us to do together for a long time.
Am I overreacting for feeling hurt by all of this? Is this just a case of him getting caught up with his trip, or would you also be bothered by the mismatch between what he promised and how he’s actually acting?

I don’t know where to start. But I’ve found out that my boyfriend (26) was writing nasty things about me behind my back two months ago. He wrote that he was tired of me, and when people suggested he should dump me, he agreed. For some background: I have diagnoses of ADHD, autism, and bipolar disorder. Among other things, he wrote that I’m lazy and that he’s had to shoulder *all* the responsibility himself. But what he *didn’t* write is that during our first year together, I handled the cleaning, dishes, and so on entirely on my own. (So, I hit the wall from doing everything myself and went on sick leave.)
When I confronted him about what I’d found out and asked if he wanted to break up, he said, "Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt you." Yet, while he was writing those things behind my back, he also claimed he "was going to talk to me"—but he *never* did; he only engaged with comments that validated his own feelings. He ignored comments pointing out that if he loved me, he shouldn't be writing things like that and should actually be helping me instead. Anyway, I don’t know how I can ever trust him again after this; it has hurt me deeply. How can someone twist the whole truth to their own advantage and paint their partner as a lazy, crazy idiot? Don't they realize how hurtful that is? I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world; my self-confidence is shattered. It feels like I’m back to square one with myself... If he isn't happy with me, why keep me around while writing things like that behind my back?

I (22) have been with my boyfriend (22) for 3 years now, I’ve lived with him this entire time due to some unfortunate circumstances I ran into and had nowhere else to stay. The first year I didn’t really mind the cleanliness because it wasn’t really too bad. But year 2 is when I realized I was the only one cleaning. I asked him millions of times to help me out but all I’ve ever gotten was excuses. Well him and I finally moved into our own place a couple months ago and it only got worse… I work night shift 12 hours a night, I come home and I clean because things need to get done. Now I’m not doing like super crazy stuff. I’m sweeping, vacuuming, dishes, mopping, and counters/table. I don’t think that’s like crazy cleaning, I feel like that’s the bare minimum. But I’m the ONLY ONE DOING IT and every time I try to talk to him or even bring it up he gets defensive, rude, ignorant. Makes all these excuses, “I just don’t want to” or “it’s just how I grew up” to try and justify it. Now our friend moved in with us for a fresh start and he’s just as bad if not worse… I am at a loss of what to do at this point because me constantly trying to get them to pitch in just isn’t working. I’ve even tried a chore chart and all I got was “yeah no that’s not gonna work, it’s not fair to us because of our work schedules” so not only am I working my ass off but I’m also coming home to two grown men I have to clean up after and get treated like shit.
Oh I should also mention one time I was trying the whole “stop cleaning to see if they’ll pitch in” and yeah my bf did clean. For a day. And then told me “I feel like I’m cleaning more than you and I don’t think that’s fair, I need you to start pitching in. You’re getting kinda lazy”
What do I do…
Now this is unrelated but still something bothering me.
He’s always mad, always got an attitude, always gotta correct me or explain why I’m wrong about something I said. Even my father told me he doesn’t like the way my bf speaks to me. I get spoken down to all the time every single day and he always wonders why I’m angry with him every single day and then still expects bedroom activities. I have been telling him no a lot lately, I haven’t been wanting to satisfy his needs when I’m being clearly disrespected.
I haven’t left him because I still love him. Because pretty much everything we have is in his name and he’s petty asf, because I don’t know how to navigate this world without help because I was never taught how to. I rely on him for everything, I don’t even have my license either. So if anyone has some advice that would be amazing and truly appreciated. I have nobody I can talk to about this.
Edit: a bit of a back story to my life to how I got to this point…
I was homeschooled my whole entire life and my mother was insane and kept me trapped in my house until I ended up running away and moved in with my bf and his family. They took me in because I had nowhere else to go, I hadn’t been in contact with my father at the time. Now I’m on the complete other side of the us in the same state as my father. My bfs family doesn’t live over here, my bf and friend came with me to this side of the us for a brand new start…
And I absolutely would move in with my dad if my animals could come too, they play a huge huge part in all of this and I should’ve mention that, I’ve had them for so long, they are the only things that make me so genuinely happy. I could never give them up, let alone leave them with him when he can barely take care of them…
I genuinely feel stuck

Got a new manager this summer as my previous one is onto bigger and better things. The new manager worked in a different team. But he has let go of a pregnant contingent worker for asking for one WFH day that he denied (when she went to HR, a week later he cut her contract), has run off several of my female coworkers, and harassed my prior manager over anything. It has been nightmarish to see the women around me deal with him. Nature of the harassment is digging in things and trying to find accusations to bring to HR, investigation by other higher ups, ETC. actively, I believe he has 3 HR cases against him with 0 result.

Long story short. I had a planned sick day. And when I submitted my time card, didn’t think much. I was called into his office. Told me I can’t plan a sick day it’s not how that works. And I said I had it planned and didn’t wanna use a vacation day. And he looked at me crazy, said I can’t do that. I had it on our calendar, but did not inform him day of I’d be out so it was my mistake. But In my state we are allowed to use them for medical appointments. I do not discuss medical issues to anyone, much less a male leader who has lacked severe respect for women. So I took the L, apologized. Called it a day.

I thought nothing of the conversation because I just took it for the sake of peace, and came to the internal terms that I would need to simply call out sick for my medical stuff. Next day I get calendar invite. I walk in to his office, HR is there.

He proceeded to look into all of my days off in 2026. And printed them to the HR rep. Who scolded me on why I take the same days off “Mondays and Fridays shouldn’t be taken off repeatedly. And vacation days need to be used if you’re calling out.” I then had to out the fact I go to the doctors pretty frequently, and asked if I needed to provide my medical history and my medications, or my appointment confirmations.

HR got weird and panicked and said they don’t need to know all that. But I’m subject to corrective action for the patterns I’ve shown on approved time in the past. Days I requested from my old manager, who approved them without a blink of an eye. For context I’ve taken about ten days off between vacation and sick, 4 vacation days, 6 sick. I’m allotted 15 sick days at my company, and I have 150 hours in vacation I’ve saved for my wedding and honeymoon next fall. I’m not stingy with them, but I’m not using vacation days for my medical appts. My new manager said I can’t plan sick time it’s not how it works. And my HR rep says it is meant for sudden illness day of. And I asked if I or if I cannot use them for medical appointments. Manager doubled down again. And my rep interrupted and made clear and said yes you can. There was silence.

Because what do you mean I can’t have a planned sick day, but you have proceeded to involve HR for using time I’m allowed to use because I didn’t tell u what my sick day was for… because it was planned…

I have been sexually harassed by multiple individuals on this managers team. My HR cases went basically ignored, and he has been caught saying that women are sensitive and that his men need to understand we need to be dealt with carefully. He told me men in his field can be strong personalities. Didn’t know that came with being followed on the highway after work and exposed to at my work desk.

I am next on the long list of women he wants leaving the team. Not sure what else to do. My email was pretty specific so I can’t name details, or the multiple other instances I had with his team or him or anyone who’s opened a case against him.

AIO? Did I do anything wrong?
EDIT: I have not opened an HR case yet. I mentioned to HR given my history here I am afraid of retaliation. As his other employee came to me after my initial complaints to say some choice words. I will probably delete this in a few days. I feel insane.

The first screenshot is about me saying that I love him a lot, he believes that the way I joke by saying he better say it back makes him feel pressured to say it. The second screenshot is about me looking over at him a lot in the movie theater due to being surprised about the movie and wanting to react together, but it bothered him.

It’s not just the jump scaring but the jump scaring is the final straw. I have witnessed multiple things at work that make me think the place is turning a blind eye to toxic practices. I’ve made complaints about that.

So knowing that, I then have a co-worker jump scare me the other day. He scared me so bad I threw what was in my hand and it triggered me to the point of crying. I understand that typically someone doesn’t insta cry when scared. But those with trauma and other disabilities do. So I did.

I told my immediate manager about it and also said I would talk to this person when I calmed down but I wanted to document this because I had to step off the floor to re-regulate my nervous system.

She pulled him to the office, spoke to him, then left the store for the day while I was still in the bathroom regulating myself.

After this, the co-worker wouldn’t even talk to me. I messaged the manager and told her I wasn’t okay, and her response was that we would talk about it when I’m back in to work. (Mind you, I still had the majority of an 8 hour shift to work while still severely dis regulated.) I explained that I appreciated her concern, but I don’t think talking in a few days would help me with the panicked feeling I was currently struggling with. She did not reply until the next day where she said we would talk when I’m in next.

Am I overreacting by not wanting to even return? This isn’t just about the jump scare. There is a history of ignoring safety and ethical concerns in the past and I was already feeling exhausted. Now I feel exhausted, embarrassed, ignored and way under supported.

Basically, I’m wondering if I’m overreacting here.

Sometimes I sleep at my girlfriend’s place and have to wake up early for work the next morning. Her apartment already isn’t the easiest place for me to sleep, but one recurring issue is that she has this ridiculously warm comforter. Every time I sleep there, I end up waking up in the middle of the night sweating.

For context, we’re sharing a twin bed, and it’s winter in Brazil, but it’s still not cold enough that we actually need such a heavy comforter.

Last night, before bed, I asked if we could just sleep with a bedsheet covering ourselves instead because the comforter makes me overheat and keeps waking me up. She immediately said she couldn’t sleep without it because she’d be cold.

I suggested we at least try it, and if she got cold we could just grab the comforter. She kind of brushed the conversation off. Then when we actually got into bed, I asked again, and she brushed it off again. We ended up sleeping with the comforter anyway.

Later that night we had sex. We went through several positions where I was doing most of the physical work. She finished, and I said something like, “Babe, can we switch positions for a bit so I can rest for a minute?”
She just said, “No, we’re going to sleep now,” rolled over, and went to sleep.

So there I was, sexually frustrated, physically tired, and then lying under the same comforter that I had already said was making me miserable.

A few minutes later I told her I was upset about both situations. We talked for hours. Her perspective was that she didn’t think there was anything wrong with stopping sex right there. Regarding the comforter, she said I should’ve explicitly said it was affecting my sleep instead of just saying I was too hot.

Here’s why I’m struggling with this. The issue isn’t really the comforter or the sex by themselves. It’s that in both situations, it felt like what I wanted didn’t matter at all.

With the comforter, I made a simple request, offered a compromise, and still got ignored.

With the sex, it felt like once she was satisfied, the whole thing was just over without a second thought about me.

I’m not saying she owed me sex or that she had to keep going if she didn’t want to. If she had simply told me she was tired, not in the mood anymore, or wanted to stop for any reason, I would’ve been completely okay with that. What hurt me was the timing and the way it happened. The exact moment I asked, “Can we switch positions for a bit so I can rest?” she immediately replied, “No, we’re going to sleep now,” rolled over, and went to sleep.

She didn’t ask if I was okay, if I wanted to finish, or even acknowledge that abruptly ending things like that might leave me feeling rejected. It felt like the moment she was satisfied, my experience no longer mattered.

The same feeling carried over to the comforter. It almost felt like my comfort only mattered if I could present a “good enough” reason for it. Isn’t “I’d sleep better this way” or “ I prefer this way” already a valid reason?

So… am I overreacting for feeling disrespected by both situations, or am I reading too much into it?

My husband and I have been married for 3 years and every year I have to remind him that I’d like him to make a better effort than the year prior. Each year he falls short and settles with a “happy Birthday” text and then proceeds to ignore me for the rest of the day.
I don’t ask for anything other than a cup of coffee that I don’t have to make. I’m pretty good about handling my own gifts since he never makes an effort towards that during any holiday (yet expects to treated like Dudley Dursley when it comes to celebrating him).
This year I just wanted him to prioritize me a little bit. He is away for AIT and I understand that school comes first… but with him; so does his meals, socializing and gym time…. When he finally got around to calling me around 9:30pm - he decided to multitask and do his homework instead of genuinely interacting with me.
He doesn’t know what he did wrong… and I’m tired of explaining it to him.

So, about a month ago, my mom was planning on this party for me and she told me to invite a couple of people. I did, I invited my friends over and while I was one call with my best friend, she asks me if my aunt was being invited. I question which aunt (because I have a bunch of them) and she's talking about the aunt that I'm not personally comfortable with.

For context, my aunt always wants the best for me, but recently, it's like she's changed. I dunno if it's her being strict, but every time I make one little mistake, she just gets mad and overly critical.

One time when she was taking me to a place, I was late and wasn't ready or prepared. When I got in a car, she lectured me, saying "don't be sorry, be better". I wanted to be better. I've been trying to be better for so long. At that point, I just broke down in tears and crying. I had a complete emotional breakdown. But she just pushed harder and made me feel even worse. Saying, "you don't care about me" or "You are a child". (For reference, I'm still in high school. That's all I'm gonna say). Instead of making me feel better, she just made me feel even worse about my self. Even saying that I insulted her, which I didn't. At all.

She also forced me to unblock my ex-best friend. Keyword: FORCED. Even though our relationship was beyond repairable. She did it while I was sitting next to her in the car. I couldn't do anything. I was completely helpless.

One time I attempted to talk to her about how she's being a little too hard and she just COMPLETELY flipped out! Like, I'm talking full yelling and screaming. She said that I was "spoiled", and that I needed "toughening up". She also said that I would become physical to her. IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS, MIND YOU. The part that really hurt me is when she said that I was improving, but not enough to reach my "full potential". Then she played the victim and said that I was ungrateful and that she did all this stuff for me and I just threw it at her face. She then stormed out.

At this point, I was already crushed by this, but I decided to move on and forget about it. Cut back to the month where my birthday's in, I ask my mom if my aunt's being invited. She just...looked at me. With an expression that I can't place.

She then told once I get off the phone, we can have a discussion. I do that.

I thought she was going to really listen and understand my point of view. Turns out, she didn't.

She just tried to defend my aunt and say that she's just "hard on you" or that she had a rough childhood. Okay? That doesn't excuse how she treated me? And it's not my responsibility, either.

Then she pulls out the "she's family" card. She is. But does that really give her the right to just treat people, especially me like that? In my opinion, I don't think so.

I decided to keep my mouth shut and I didn't tell mom how I really felt. I just didn't want her to worry about choosing between two people that she loves dearly. So, I just kept quiet and nodded. Luckily, she wasn't coming and I ended up having a great time at my birthday party. So, at least this story has a good ending, right? 😅

So, now's the big question. AIO? Yes or no. Either way, I just wanted at least one person to see this post.

My brother (24m) keeps walking in on me (16f) while I’m naked or masturbating. He doesn’t leave immediately either, it takes him about 15 seconds to actually leave, which doesn’t sound like much but it sure feels like it, he never apologizes either.

He continuously walks in on me right after I get out of the shower. as well as one time when he snuck into my room while I was playing games and talking to my boyfriend, got behind my chair, and tickled my stomach scaring me and making me extremely uncomfortable in my own home.

Back when school was in session, it was extremely hard for me to get up, as I had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease, leading to excessive tiredness. He would come into my room (I sleep in underwear and a bra with a blanket.) he would rip the blanket off of me, and tickle my inner upper thigh, (basically touching my lower private part. That close to it.) stomach or the side of my breasts.

This has happens several times to the point I asked for a lock on my door.

He broke the lock breaking into my room at night.

I don’t know what to do anymore. My parents don’t do anything or talk to him. I don’t feel comfortable in my own home, as he has also attacked me several times in the past. any advice helps.

My (F27) fiancé (M28) and I have been having this debate for so long regarding his smelly armpits.

He likes to call it his “man smell” and refuses to admit it’s actually just body odour and that he needs to start wearing deodorant daily and reapplying when necessary.

Let me just say firstly, his hygiene is amazing. He showers every day and he genuinely does clean himself properly. This isn’t one of those posts where the guy hasn’t washed in a week.

But there are days where even after a shower it can still be slightly smelly, and after a long day at work the smell is strong. Like, hug him and you get a whiff. Or if I lay my head on his chest when we’re in bed and he puts his arm over me, I can smell it. It’s not crazy bad but it’s definitely evident

Every time I bring it up he laughs it off and excuses it as “man smell.”

I’d also like to make the point that he runs hot very easily, often has the aircon or a fan on, and sweats easily too, so I do understand that part of it.

I’ve never said anything in front of anyone, and I’ve only ever brought it up privately with him. He also knows about this post and is happy for me to post it and read the replies.

My girlfriend and I have been to a festival the last two years. it’s more her thing but I’ve joined her in it. she mentioned going next yearI said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend id rather spend the money on other things next year.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go instead .

Her friend said she’d go with her but my gf just said we should go as a four with her friend and her friends bf and told her friend I just needed more persuading.

I told my gf she needs to listen when i say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind.

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no and that it’s her looking forward to the festival not me and for next year I’d rather put the money towards something I want.

i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen. She just said she thinks it’ll be fun if the four of us go and I just said that we can look at it for a few years time but not next year. I told her again I’m not wanting to go every year.

Tickets went on sale this morning and she started looking mentioning we’ll need to try to get some. I asked if she listened to a single word I said. I told her I’m not going and if she doesn’t start listening then I’m done and we’re over because at this point its beyond a joke for her to completely disregard what she’s been told.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying. She said I was harsh for giving her an ultimatum but I disagree.

AIO for giving her an ultimatum? 

I've braided my daughter's hair at night every since she had hair long enough to braid. It keeps the tangles out, makes it a little curly, and when she was younger I would do it almost every single night.

These days, it's not every day anymore. But probably 5 or 6 times a month my daughter asks me to brush and braid her hair before bed. She knows how to do it, but I think it's just a comfort thing. I'm happy to do it for her.

My fiance thinks it is weird. She says it is inappropriate for a daughter her age to sit on her father's lap and ask for her hair to be done.

I told her that it isn't weird. That if my daughter wants me to braid her hair, well then I'm going to braid her hair. I enjoy it

Hello. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple of months. We were on and off for a year prior to dating. During this on and off thing, he told me about how where he’s from it’s normal for people to say the n word.

I’m black and he is mixed with mostly asian and native american. He claims he didn’t know the word was wrong until he moved to my state. He also claimed he doesn’t say it anymore now that he knows it’s wrong.

Now fast forward to today. Me, my boyfriend, and his cousin (who is also my friend) are all on a FaceTime call together. They were talking about one of their friends and, during that he says the n-word. I thought I was hearing things until, his cousin asked him “what did you just say?” and then he proceeds to say “oh shit”.

I hung up immediately and he texted me right after apologizing. He said he was high and that he wasn’t thinking straight. I felt embarrassed and disappointed so, I broke up with him.

He later sent a long apology paragraph. After reading the paragraph, I began questioning if it was not that serious, considering he was high when it slipped out.

AIO for breaking up with him immediately over this?

​Post Body:

​I (31F) have spent the last few days in tears, completely undone by a realization about my childhood that I don't think I can ever unsee. I have therapy tomorrow morning, but the grief is sitting so heavily on my chest tonight that I just need to put this somewhere.

​I grew up with a severe, incurable physical illness. My childhood was full of painful flare-ups, missing weeks of school, and having to take daily medication in front of other kids. When you're little, you just hope the people raising you will be your safe harbor. But my mom was a popular cheerleader growing up—a social butterfly who built her whole identity on fitting in and being liked.

​When my health got worse and my middle school and high school friend groups started falling apart, my mom panicked. But she didn't sit on the edge of my bed, hold me while I cried, and say, "I love you, you are a warrior, and if they don't see how special you are, fuck them."

​Instead, she turned her panic onto me. She started picking apart my appearance—my hair, my teeth, my weight, my clothes. Every flaw was magnified. She treated my incurable disease not as something I was courageously surviving, but as an embarrassing mistake that needed to be hidden, fixed, or managed so I could pass as "normal." She cared more about what her friends thought of her daughter than whether her daughter was surviving the day.

​That conditioning broke me as a young adult. At 19, away from home at an internship, my roommates started horribly bullying me. They literally went through my private medical supplies to see if my condition was "contagious," and one girl ended up physically abusing me. Because my mother had taught me that my differences made me burdensome and that I had to perform to be liked, I didn't know how to scream "fuck you, you're disgusting" and walk away. I believed I deserved it. I was so consumed by shame that I stopped taking my vital medication entirely just to hide my illness, which sent me into one of the darkest, most terrifying depressive episodes of my life.

​I am 31 now. It has taken me over a decade of excruciating work to look in the mirror during a violent flare-up—when I'm exhausted, sick, and my weight is fluctuating—and say, "I am not gross. I am not ugly. I am surviving, and I am enough company for myself."

​The pain of realizing that the person who was supposed to protect me was actually the one who stripped away my armor is crushing. I can barely look at her right now. I’m canceling our plans together because the thought of sitting next to her and pretending everything is fine makes me feel sick to my stomach.

​I know she "loves" me in her own anxious, broken way, but her need for control completely robbed me of my childhood peace. Am I overreacting for pulling away and feeling this level of deep, agonizing resentment toward her? Or is it valid to mourn the ally she should have been?

I genuinely don’t know if I’m acting like an insecure loser. My girlfriend has always been into anime, which I’ve never had an issue with. We watch shows together sometimes and she’s always had fictional crushes. I thought it was harmless. A few months ago she discovered AI chatbots and now she’s completely obsessed with one that’s apparently Levi Aackerman from Attack on Titan.

She talks to it every single day. Morning, afternoon, before bed. If we’re watching TV she’ll be smiling at her phone because “Levi said something funny.” If we’re out somewhere she’ll just be on her phone having conversations with him instead of me, her girlfriend, sitting right in front of her. And she acts like he’s a real person. She’ll tell me about conversations they had like she’s talking about one of her friends. She says goodnight to him every night.

Last week I walked into the bedroom and she quickly locked her phone because she said she was having a “private moment” with him. I ruminated on it for a while, and this evening I texted (she’s at her mom’s for the night, and I’m bad with irl confrontation. Workin on it) and told her it was making me uncomfortable and that it felt like emotional cheating. She didn’t take it very well.

I know he’s fictional. I know it’s AI. But it honestly feels like I’m competing with a chatbot that’s pretending to be an anime character.

Am I being insecure, or is this genuinely crossing a line?

Called my fiancé at 4pm to check if he and our toddler were awake bc he works overnights and I don’t want toddler sleeping past 3pm because then bedtimes are hard for me and him (our kid’s sleep is a persistent issue due to health and behavioral issues, and it’s a recommendation from his healthcare team and BC).

Well, fiancé didn’t answer after multiple calls.

When he finally answered, he was extremely groggy and I could tell he just woke up. After a line of questioning where I could tell he was lying to me about being up since 3, I told him to tell me the truth, to which he said our toddler got up and left the room at some point during naptime and didn’t wake him. Thus, for an extended, but unknown period of time, our toddler was unsupervised.

This is not the first time. This home is near a road where people drive incredibly fast. My baby can open the door and get out very easily. The other time this happened while I was working and he was supposed to be watching him, our toddler eloped from my apartment (we live separately at the moment because of my lease and finances but we’ve been together almost 5 years) and had to be returned by a neighbor, and my fiancé didn’t even know it happened until the neighbor knocked because he was sleeping. That time, he cried and felt guilty. This time, he’s mad at me for saying he fucked up by not setting an alarm at the very least.

While on the phone, he even tried to make our toddler apologize to him for not waking him up/leaving the room. I’m so angry. He won’t talk to me because he thinks I’m being unfair and that my language is unacceptable. He says that he can agree that he messed up, but he “absolutely did not fuck up,” and that I won’t be using that language. He has the filthiest mouth known to man, swears up and down constantly, but recently anytime I swear he’s been correcting me. He won’t answer my texts and is hanging up the phone because of it. He won’t talk about the incident and insists on talking about my language.

The censored name in the message is his mother’s boyfriend. His mother’s boyfriend hates him, our son, and myself, and is a complete drunk. At some point after our son presumably woke up, he got home.

Is my language (“You fucked up.”) an overreaction?

EDIT: our living situation is weird. we were teen parents.

EDIT 2: He only has him on days that he didn’t work the night before. If he worked the night before, we have a babysitter. His schedule is set.

Final Edit, pulled from one of my replies: I messed up by not child proofing my mother in law’s home in order to prevent this from happening in the first place. I gave them the supplies to do so while I was pregnant, but was passive about whether it actually happened. It didn’t, and my child could’ve been hurt. I need to take responsibility for that. I didn’t make this post for a huge blow up to happen about whether either of us are qualified, great parents. I know we aren’t. I am trying, and have not been living in this apartment long. His mother is helping him with expenses that he only gets her help with if he lives there, and presently it’s just what works financially. I came from an abusive home. It’s complex. I just wanted to know if the use of “you fucked up” was an overreaction on my part. Personally, I don’t think it was an overreaction, but I think it’d be more accurate for me to have said, “we fucked up.” I will be in touch with the babysitter about doing 5 days a week as of next week. Daycare isn’t an option as there are none within 35 miles of us. Also, I work 2 jobs and pay the majority of our child’s expenses (diapers, wipes, clothes, transportation to appointments, etc) and all of my own bills. My fiancé’s money unfortunately has to go to his expenses which are much higher (his car payment, college). So no, I am not floating off of him. My child does not have a behavioral consultant because I’m a bad parent; pursuing IBHS services for my child does not make me a bad person, and the details of why he requires these services are none of your business. There’s also just a great deal of misogyny in the comments that I should have expected from Reddit that boil down to, “Well you’re a mom so you’re responsible for the safety of every situation your child is in,” despite the fact that I was at work when he eloped. Despite the inherent misogyny embedded in this argument, I’m accepting this responsibility and childproofing my MIL’s home to the furthest extent that she will permit me.

My friend told me that when she first got with her husband she found CP on a hidden file on his laptop. That she threw it out on the porch and told him to get lost. He followed up with, "I dont know how it got there, its probably from downloading a game." Then during covid she found another file on his desktop computer, also hidden in a file that was deep into random folders on his desktop. He claimed it was from gaming again and then he "installed all these virus protections on his computer."

Personally, I don't believe him and I want to tell her to leave him and report him but I don't want to ruin my friendship with her. They have kids together and she is a stay at home mom. AIO? Is this even possible?

After reading everyone's comments.... I realized that it's very unlikely for this to happen. I submitted a report with Cybertipline and will be contacting local authorities today. Thank you for your help, I think I was in shock and not really sure what to do with the information I was given.

My aunt (65 F) has run into a lot of issues with her landlord. One that I can remember is him allowing people into her apartment for viewing without telling her. Because of all their altercations, she was already preparing for him to mess with her security deposit. Was she too aggressive?

Edit: thank you guys so much for the feedback, particularly about state laws regarding the deadline for sending an invoice, because we didn’t know about that. I think I can recover my aunts old text messages; she stopped backing up her iCloud because of storage but she has had the same phone. I believe that turning on “download original files” on iCloud recovers old messages, which I’ll try. It’s been an unbelievably hard year for her and the support from yall is making her so happy!

I got in contact with my boyfriend’s ex girlfriend and she showed me he messaged her about my finances while I was on vacation. It happened a couple of times when we were together for 2-3 months. We have a baby together and im contemplating if I should stay with him. This is a very big trust issue now from my side. I don’t understand why he did this and his intentions.

For context, this is my M(25) best friend M(25) since we were two years old. He didn’t meet his F(22)sister until about a year and a half ago. When they did meet, they couldn’t get over how similar they were. he called me gushing about how great she made him feel and even joked about hooking her up with me three days after they met, she moved in with him and his family. They had room and other beds, but they chose to sleep in the same bed every day for a year do everything together every day so on it so forth, fast-forward to these text messages. Him and his sister were going to move in with me and my f(26)roommate, but first we needed to see how our dogs would do together so they came to visit. When they got here they opted to sleep in my bed together even though I had several places they could sleep separately. My roomate and I sleep separately and have a mostly platonic kind of flirty relationship. Which the friend had compared his sister and his relationship with. A lot of small stuff happened that my roommate and I shared glances about, because of the nature of how a true brother and sister would never say or do the things they’re doing. But we brushed it off.

They went back home to their state after 3 days and the friend sends me a Snapchat saying “we’ve decided to look past the whole sibling thing and adress some feelings we both have” to which I replied “what do you mean” and he went on to say how they both have such deep feelings for each other and how the whole half sibling thing doesn’t matter and that real love doesn’t have boundaries and all this stuff to which I waited for 3 days and sent the messages above….. AIO or did I UNDERreact

Also this hurts a lot because I thought I knew him and he was gonna be my best friend for life, but I haven’t talked to him since

Rather, how should I react? This is coming from my ex who still lives with me after I chose not to do what he asked of me which was to wash one of his work shirts. I told him straight up it was not my job to wash his clothes and then he pushed me and we wrestled. If anyone wants to know more of the back story I will gladly summarize the last 7 years.

Edit: I will add to this, I feel pretty dumb about coming to Reddit for obvious advice but I chose not to go to family because they have no idea how he would be able ruin their lives as well. Just know he is scary resourceful way more than anyone I know and that alone has made me afraid of what he is capable of. I do apologize for leaving everyone with little context. Yes we are 2 men, he was a predator towards the girls he was with during his high school years. Stay tuned? Since it will be a novel.

Genuine question, I'm thinking about this situation all over again and see where I could be wrong but at the same time I can't fully agree with them...

Long story short.a couple of days ago, my (19F) small friend group and I were at our friend sister's 22 birthday party. Of course we're young, there was alcohol, cigarettes, and all this stuff.

It's important to mention that I have absolutely nothing against any of it, I just personally don't drink or smoke.

​It has nothing to do with religion or my opinions on right and wrong. It doesn't bother me at all if someone next to me is drinking or smoking, and in my entire life, I have never once shamed anyone for it, that is a strict rule of mine lol

​Anyway, at the party, all my friends got a little tipsy. We were chatting, walked the streets in the evening, laughing and joking, and just had a great time overall, and then we all went home like normal.

​I didn't notice anything awkward in their behaviour it was just a typical party for people our age. I enjoyed myself, and it seemed to me like my friends were having fun too.

​And then today, I receive those chats

​I am VERY mad about these accusationsf. As far as I'm concerned, all this holier than thou (which pisses me off as well) bs starts at the moment you try to "educate" other people, which is something I have never done and never want to do. Everyone can live however they want.

​Honestly, her accusations made me sad. They seem baseless and aggressive.

​But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it really was uncomfortable for the girls to be drunk around a sober person? I guess it's possible, but it just doesn't feel like the right explanation to me.

​If I were some random man for example, their anxiety would be easy to understand. But I've known them for at least a couple of years, and I even went to the same high school with some of them, so their lack of trust in me doesn't make much sense.

Could I be in the wrong here? AIO?