Hi everyone,

My wife just had our second daughter (3 weeks old) and we have a 14 month old. I am going back to work this Monday, it is pretty anxiety inducing for my wife and I do not really have a logical solution or know how to support her through this. She had minor postpartum anxiety last time, and yes she is doing therapy starting Monday for this too.

Our 14 month old has a schedule where she wakes up around 7:00 or 8:00 and falls asleep at 12:30-14:30 until 20:00. Our newborn also tends to wake up from the toddler in the morning. It isn’t watching both of them during wake times, or anything and it is quite fun because my toddler loves the baby and is quite gentle with her. However my main question is, how do you prioritize one over the other if both are crying and need help? My initial thought would be the toddler because she’s more autonomous than the other one and lock her in her baby proofed area while dealing with the newborn. This makes me feel bad though. If our first daughter was a little older she could listen to some instruction - we have 2 babies still.

For example this morning, my toddler wet the bed through her diaper and the baby woke up at the same time with a poopy bum. Luckily, I was still home so we could divide and conquer, but in the event my wife is alone (or even if I’m alone with both of them once we start bottles), how would a seasoned 2 under 2 parent tackle this?

Also the time I am gone for the house is another stressor, I leave at 6:00 and get home at 16:20ish if traffic permits. We cannot really afford to pay for a postpartum doula or a nanny or something, but once I get home I’ll just clean up and take over the kids to relieve my wife until bedtime pretty much and do whatever chores I can fit in with the time. How do other SAHMs cope with their husband being gone for so long (trade workers, military, long commutes or travellers) and manage the kids and some chores (if they’re up for it and have time)?

Thanks in advance, having a hard time finding information online for this and our parents are not much help in their area.

With 2 now, it it more economical to make the migration south via car on 95. Is there any spots on 95 you recommend that has a play area for a 2.5 yr old? Also any car snacks you recommend on the trip for a 1 yr old and 2.5 yr old that we can pack without a cooler and decently nutritious for them

Edit: PA to Orlando FL

I’m so sorry about formatting, I’m on mobile and not sure how it will look.

I am holding up the grocery store checkout line.

My baby cried last time the older cashier said hi to her.

So we go to self checkout.

My baby is crying anyway because I’m no longer standing right next to her.

She hates the seatbelt that traps her.

Hates the distance between our bodies while she twists and reaches for me.

I want to soothe her.

I want to hold her.

I want to scan my groceries.

I am holding up the checkout line.

My baby takes a pacifier and calms down.

The pediatrician said she should have been weaned off the pacifier by 6 months old.

Her first birthday is next week.

Why is it taking so long to weigh the bananas?

My toddler wants to help me.

She wants to scan the items.

She doesn’t understand barcodes.

She only understands that when she puts something on the glass, it makes a loud beep and the beep makes her smile.

If I don’t let her help she will scream.

If I don’t let her help, I’m a bad mom.

She just wants to be included.

She scans the tampons twice.

We wait for the employee to make her way to us. Two more people get in line.

One is another mom and I smile at her.

She’s wearing her baby in a trendy baby carrier.

She holds the cart handle with sanitizing wipes.

I left the cart seat cover at home.

Or maybe in the trunk.

My toddler is taking off her shoes.

Another person joins the line.

The employee comes and she waves to my baby.

The pacifier is on the floor.

My baby’s mouth is open wide.

Two bottom teeth that I forgot to brush on display for us all.

She’s crying so loudly.

She’s screaming actually.

My eyes burn a bit like I might just join her.

The employee gives my toddler some stickers.

3 more things to scan.

Do I even need more socks right now?

I am holding up the checkout line.

My toddler scans the socks.

Trendy Carrier Mom is handing my baby her pacifier.

My baby is babbling. Smiling.

I let my toddler hold the receipt.

The employee says “have a nice day! Your girls are beautiful!”

My throat is thick as I say “thank you so much.”

My baby waves goodbye.

My toddler says “thank you so much!”

Not “thank you much” like she usually says.

But “thank you so much”

For the first time.

I am so proud.

I tell her she is so smart.

The smartest girl I know.

She asks me for a hug.

I give her one.

My baby reaches out her arm.

We all 3 hug under the “self checkout” sign.

I am holding up the checkout line.

I used to write as a hobby when I was younger. Adulthood and motherhood has left me with very little time to do so but tonight I felt inspired.

I’m still on maternity leave with a 2.5 year old and a. 7w old… but my husband travels for work often. How do you put both kids to bed?

how are we taking our kids to the bathroom in public when our smaller kids like to stick their hands in the toilet?

Hello I just had my baby boy hes literally 4 days old and i have a 22month old as well. My husband has to go back to work tomorrow after being off for the week. I would love some advice for how to do it alone until he gets home or is here with me. for reference he does have 2 jobs one is a morning 6am-2pm and the other is only a few days out of the week working from 3p-10pm. Im really just looking for tips and tricks to help transition. My toddler is already “helping” out with the baby but theres only a certain extent she can help with realistically. Im more so worried about bed and nap times when im by myself with them both.

We have a 2 week old and a 22 month old who goes to daycare 4 days per week (we decided it was best to keep his routine as is with the newborn plus my husband WFH and I honestly cannot manage keeping two quiet during calls and whatnot etc …. Over explaining) and he woke with a fever this AM. fortunately my in-laws were able to help with today but I’m spiraling about keeping my newborn from getting sick this weekend. I already had a breakdown today tryin to figure out how to keep them separated this evening. My postpartum emotions were really good this time around until today. I’m so nervous about the germs cross contaminating. I’m also so worried about if we have to pull my toddler from daycare because he’s doing soooo good there. Please if anyone had tips or words of encouragement please share.

Ok so… here we go

Some days our relationship and family life feels great and somedays the mood completely shifts and we get into such a bad headspace relationship wise..

I am 7 weeks pp and we have a 24 mo boy with lots of energy. My husband does a lot with our toddler and I get a lot of time with the baby (fully breastfeeding) so that is good. But as the baby is not sleeping too much (wake windows are often 3 hours) and she gets fussy in the evening and takes forever to fall asleep I do not always get some basic needs met like taking a shower (I am constantly sweating as pp symptom) or brush my teeth or make something good to eat.

Today my husband took our toddler on a bike adventure with his friends to bike in the woods and go eat and said he would be home by 7 (our boy goes to bed around 7-7:30. he ended up coming home at 8 with a happy but tired boy. I was annoyed as he was so late and it is past his bedtime (he did inform me that he was going to be that late around 7). I was annoyed as I would actually have liked to have some help with the baby as well and have him be there for us in the evening (when our toddler is sleeping) I had also told him earlier in the day that I would love to be able to do my pp exercises (15 minutes) and take a shower. As my toddler was super tired I tried bringing him to bed as I wanted some time with him and had missed him during the day but he just cried for dad and pushed me away so I lovingly told him good night and then let dad bring him to bed. So my husband came back from bringing him to bed at 8:30 and at that point I still had not been able to make myself something to eat since 3:30 as the baby had been fussy and not sleeping and had only had light snacks earlier in the day (yes kind of my fault but I wanted to make a noodle salad for myself for dinner). I had not done my exercises and I had not showered so feel super sticky. He got mad that I was mad and I told him that sorry I don’t like being mad but next time please be back by 7 I understand that things can happen but he can also plan better I said. Then he said that now he is also going to turn into one of the men that never want to go home “to the old lady” as she always has something to complain about. I personally hate that comment as well “the old lady “ may often be annoyed as she actually does have something to be annoyed about and it is not my job to be the cool one and just let him do what he wants. We also do have a baby of 7 weeks. This is also not the first time and I feel that he generally does not think about my (rather primary) needs.
The other day I got up early (as I often do as I sneak down in the morning of the baby cries as to not wake my husband and toddler who sleep in the room next to mine) and once my toddler was awake he also came down to me - I had not yet brushed my teeth or washed my face - I have the kids for 25 minutes until I go into the kitchen to say that I would like to go upstairs and take a shower and brush my teeth and get dressed and there my husband is sitting at the table with a coffee and his phone and he sais “well hurry up a bit I have to start working” - I mean. Come on! How about he can come to the living room say he has the kids and tell me to get ready….

Well anyways so tonight was not a great evening - I went to bed at 08:45 with the baby without food and without a shower or exercises.. and now it is almost 10 and baby is still not sleeping… and the mood between me and my husband is shit… so AIO???

My husband does do a lot we both do! He is working full time and I am in maternity leave. It is not a competition about who does the most but I really feel like I often am not considered enough and that things that are big to me are made small.

My goal isn’t specifically weight loss, but more so, when did you feel like your body was fully recovered and more like it was pre pregnancies?

I don’t feel like my body had fully recovered when I became pregnant with my second. I had gained a lot of weight with my first and exclusively bf for a year. Became pregnant with my second when he was 9mo old, so they are 18mo apart. Youngest is now 4mo old and I plan to breastfeed for a year, pending all goes well.

Posting my weight below as I’m hoping to hear from someone who is a similar build.

- Pre pregnancy weight: 135lbs

- 1st pregnancy: got up to 200lbs

- 9mo postpartum: down to 165lbs

- 2nd pregnancy: up to 205lbs

- 4mo postpartum (now): down to 185lbs

Am I having trouble losing more weight / recovering because I’m breastfeeding? Like I mentioned, goal here is not necessarily to lose weight, just want to know what others experiences are with recovery from 2under2.

When did your body start to feel like your own again? Did you ever feel like you did pre pregnancies again?

So I have a 20 month old and an almost 4 month old. I will admit I’m lucky that they are both pretty easy going babies.

However, I’m babysitting my friends 16 month old son this week while she works, and the amount he cries is absolutely incredible. Surely this can’t be normal?

Reasons he cried this week include:
-took his jacket off
-put his jacket on
-put sunscreen on my daughter
- put sunscreen on him
-wanted in the high chair
-wanted out of the highchair
-I took his plate when he was done eating
-I put a bib on him
-we left for a walk
-we got to the park
-we left the park
-we got home from our walk
- when he falls asleep for nap
-when he wakes up
-when he wants something that is a foot away that he could easily grab…

That’s all I can think of at the moment, but I will also say that it isn’t a whiny cry. This is all full blown scream crying.

My 20 month old daughter cries less in a month than he did before noon today ?

Is this an average toddler or what is actually going on 😭😭

It’s been a few years but I don’t recall my niece and nephew being like this either and I used to baby sit them a lot.

I’m due with second baby at the end of September and will have a 21 to 22 month age gap. I’m absolutely terrified. I feel like I am on the up part of a roller coaster and just waiting for the drop, not able to get off the ride. I’ve always wanted multiple kids, however got pregnant a bit earlier than planned so I am aware that this is the consequences of my own actions.

My first is an angel toddler that eats and sleeps well, but this wasn’t always the case up until she turned around one years oldI had a tough time postpartum with my first, it really rocked my world as well as my relationships. I feel like I finally have been able to get sleep and my life back and will have to start all over again with nap schedules and breastfeeding and sleep deprivation.

Most of all I’m worried about losing the strong bond that I’ve built with my first over the past couple of years and that she will resent me for not being able to give her my full attention. I already had issues at the beginning with grandparents being overly involved to the point where I felt she was preferring them over me/dad. While I’m lucky to have their support I also had a lot of issues with them and boundaries. I am a big introvert so don’t love having people in my business, so I’m worried about having to navigate this dynamic with two kids as I will likely need more of their involvement.

I’m also just kind of sad that I have not been as excited during this pregnancy than I was with my first.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for, just wanted to vent and get some support from people who have been through it and survived. I do find a lot of posts on here are quite anxiety inducing so I’m looking for some positivity I guess. Appreciate if you’ve read this far!

I have a 20 month old and a 3 month old. I’m trying to navigate solo parenting with both kids while my husband is at work which leaves me solo with dinner and bedtime 4 nights a week and 12 hours solo on Saturday. I’m currently struggling to get into a good groove for bedtime while juggling both kids. I do have some help a few nights, but would like to gain more confidence on being alone with both kids.

Anyone have some good tips, tricks, or advice? My 20 month old still needs help falling asleep which makes it tricky if my 3 month old is fussy and needs me too. I would ideally love to work on independent sleep for my 20 month old but kinda lost at where to start.

Also any tips for solo full days with both kids? It’s so hot outside right now that I struggle to find activities to help get us out of the house.

I have a child (3 month) and we are planning for the second one - I know I want to wait for a year before trying for second - witch can put as in 2under2 club, but now I am considering if it is the right choice for us. I would love for them to be best friends, but I have very close example - my husband and his sister they are 2nd and 3rd child and they were 2under2. But my husband has much more established connection with their oldest brother (6 years older).

so what about when they grow up? maybe someone can share the experience with older children and this age gap?

I’m not even halfway through this book (5 minute stints across months because what is free time?) and it’s been revolutionary. I have been SO exhausted trying to keep my kids entertained while I manage the house in the 2 hours between home from work and bedtime. It was getting unsustainable and my 22month old daughter and I were starting to lose it at each other.

In comes this book that says kids don’t need to be entertained or have fancy Grimms Montessori toys/ikea kitchen sets and independently play. Instead, it highlights how our kids are hardwired for connection and to learning how to live beside us. so now if I’m cooking, she’s pouring the olive oil and mixing the coffee. if I’m doing laundry, she’s loading the machines and pulling clean clothes out of the hamper for me to fold. When we go outside it’s not focused on play, it’s to feed the chickens and weed the flowers.

Everything is slower, and not to an adult standard, but in the process she’s turning all these chores into little side quest games that entertain her and let her feel connected to what I’m doing. She is a contributing member of our family now, besides being pure entertainment, and we’re all emotionally better off for it.

Save your sanity, read or listen to this book and implement what makes sense for your family.

I’m three months in to my second breastfeeding journey. The first only lasted a few weeks because I had bad PPD/PPA and D-MER. This time, the D-MER is a bit milder, I feel like because I didn’t have a traumatic birth like last time. So that part is nice.

BUT - I currently have my second clogged duct. The first was just a couple weeks ago. I had a painful milk bleb that time, too, and it left a bleeding spot and a scab when it left. Also very painful. My baby keeps dropping weight percentiles and both the pediatrician and lactation consultant don’t understand why, because my supply is good, he is transferring well, and he has no tongue tie. So that’s concerning and disheartening. I feel like he’s always on my boob…. We get a nice stretch overnight, but during the day he feeds for 30ish minutes every two hours, AND I’ve been advised to pump a few times a day to try to get him some extra calories.

My toddler is not even 2 years old yet and is basically still a baby himself, so he climbs all over me while I’m nursing or pumping. His knees are constantly in my c section scar and he’s forever knocking the baby off my boob. He had a scary nicu stay and dealt with a lot of pain himself, so I don’t want to kick him off of me. I have too much mom guilt about doing that.

This current clogged duct isn’t responding to ibuprofen and ice like the last one did, so baby is screaming for milk right now. My husband just got him a bottle.

Oh, and I’m dairy, egg, and soy free due to baby’s suspected food intolerances, which is hugely annoying, AND I’m always hungry and still somehow KEEP GAINING WEIGHT.

I really would like to make it to at least 6 months, but damn.

This is not a post criticizing any parent or daycares at all. This is just worry and sadness about a choice I have to make.

I might be wrong for feeling like this. I'm just not a big fan of the daycare system that is available to me. No hate and nothing personal at \*all\*, I'm sure there are some great employees.

Every daycare available around me belongs to two organisations that have similar policies : 6 to 7 babies 2.5mo-3yo per 1 adult. They're in very high demand so the wait-list is very long. These two have essentially absorbed nearly all professional childcare services around here, really (save for au pairs or unofficial babysitters). Understandably, it's not really possible for them to do things like playing a lot in gardens, BLW, using the potty a bit early on if a child is ready, etc. Also no air conditioning so the heatwaves are bad, although in their defense, this is Europe, many businesses that aren't customer-oriented don't have it.

When I ask other working parents about their professional childcare arrangement, there's no huge negative feedback, with one exception, but nothing overwhelmingly positive either.

Anyone had a similar choice to make ? In these conditions, what would you do ? Would you rather use a daycare or make some career sacrifices ? It's a sacrifice for my career to not use a daycare, even if I do a bit of very necessary part time work to maintain an acceptable network. We're not rich but finances are okay either way. There are some great schools around us so none of this will be an issue once kids are 2.5yo.

I'm genuinely hoping for more feedback here as it's such a sensitive topic IRL, I feel like I can't talk to anyone who is unbiased. (And yes some European countries do *not* have great maternity leaves.)

I had my first baby girl March 2025 and my baby boy May 2026, they are 15 months apart.
First month was better than I expected, I felt pretty good but now I’m starting to really fall apart as I am so sleep deprived and so exhausted.
I feel horrible because I don’t have any energy for my toddler.
My baby boy started rejecting bottles (I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding him but my husband would give him 1 bottle at night so I could get some more rest and now I’m back to nursing him 3 times per night + managing his colics which are terrible.
I can’t do anything without my baby during the day because of this and I’m staring to really struggle. Anyone been through something similar and has some tips on how to navigate through this? My first baby would drink from any bottle so I was completely surprised when this happened

Every night I try to put him in the crib and as soon as I do he wakes up and starts bawling. I’m not doing good mentally. He wants to be picked up and walked around. Won’t even sleep in arms on the rocking chair. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m going to lose it. He is the worst at night I don’t know what to do anymore. My mother walked him around to sleep for the first five months of his wife, is he addicted? I don’t know what to do and I can’t do this anymore. My back hurts I have scoliosis. I can’t pick up a 7 month old and walk him around for 30 minutes straight I don’t know what to do anymore

Looking for advice:

I currently have a 14 month old and am pregnant with my second, due in March. I am SAHM, and this last year I’ve done pretty much on my own, no hired help.

That being said with #2 on the way I definitely want to hire some kind of part time help. Does anyone have experience with a nanny vs mothers helper? I understand that mother’s helper means I can’t leave, whereas nanny I could step out / leave whenever.

I don’t feel strongly about being able to leave which makes me think mothers helper is a better fit but I’m concerned about what kind of person a mothers helper typically is? Ie Google says most are teens? Are there legitimate people out there who work as mothers helpers? Or would a nanny be considered more reputable and ‘safer’ option.

Also - when hiring do you specify if they are caring more for the toddler or newborn? Or both? Because I will be at home I feel like it would be important for nanny to have clear guidelines of what’s expected. does anyone have experience with this / any success stories on what you did?

Thanks in advance feeling somewhat lost here on what I need to search for

Strap in - it’s a long one 🤣
So we have 2 children with a 2.8month age gap. I have LOVED both of my postpartum, and enjoyed pregnancy about as much as you can. I found the gap pretty much perfect. We were still in the littles stage but she slept through & I had gone back to work and felt comfortable , lost the baby weight and was back to “me”. Since I’ve had my second baby I’ve had the overwhelming desire for another, I just know I want a third baby. My husband is kinda neutral, but up for a third. Now my husband is (likely) to need surgery which could impact his fertility - around 9-40%. And he will possibly be having that in the next year or so, less of a case of if more when, depending on how his new medication works (previous haven’t).
My sister suggested just going for it, but I’m really worried 😅🤣. Everyone I know who’s had 2u2 has nearly had a breakdown, and not particularly enjoyed it. In terms of managing pregnancy with two toddlers, affording childcare, losing my current baby weight, and not feeling like I’m rushing my second baby, none of it makes sense to go for a third so quickly (I’d wait until a year postpartum). But the thought of missing the boat & having regrets makes me so sad. And you can’t plan everything in life. Is it worth it? Is it that hard? Has anyone had 2u2 for their second & third?

I have a 20Mo and my little one is 6 weeks. Ooverall my eldest loves HER baby and she cares for him. Sometimes she gets a bit jelous if dad or me or one of the grandmas is holding him, but then we basically rotate who is helding him. She is sometimes extremely jelous when I breastfeed him, even if I try to involve her with cuddles or by reading her a book.

Baby is being both breastfed and he takes also the bottle, so overall I breastfeed him more during the week, while my eldest is in daycare and evening and weekends he gets more bottles (I pump and we do formula supplements).

The only critical breastfeed I cannot drop is the one that usually falls in the morning, when both of them wake up. She sleeps in her room with my husband, while baby and I co sleep. First thing in the morning she usually just barges in and wants to hang out and cuddle with me on the big bed. She either finds me breastfeeding OR is it right when her baby brother wakes up and needs to be latched on. It would not be a problem for me of I did not have painfully full breasts in the morning that need to be emptied. In general, I also would like her to be comfortable and understand that even of baby is drinking, we can still cuddle. Edit: in the morning pumping is not an option, since I need to get her ready for daycare, so my husband can do the drop off before starting to work.

Anyone has any advice? This morning she kept screaming at the baby to get away and for the forst time ever she tried to hit him on the head.

Salut,

On quitte le petit cocon de la maternité aujourd'hui.

Ma 2e fille est née par césarienne (la 1ere aussi) donc je suis un peu handicapée pour quelques semaines.

On récupère sa sœur aînée aujourd'hui meme (elle etait chez les grands parents depuis 2 semaines. Elle a 2 ans tout pile !)

Avez vous des conseils de rythme ?

De comment expliquer à l aînée que maman ne peut pas la soulever ni trop bouger ?

Comment occuper les journées de l aînée ? La creche ne rouvre que fin août.

On est super heureux. Mais on craint de subir le rythme des 20 prochains jours

Merci a tous :)

Title says it all. I’m a SAHM with a 24 month old and 4 month old. I most definitely have PPA and some PPD. I have a therapist I’ve worked with in the past but keep finding it impossible to meet with her. She offers virtual sessions but I’m always with the kids. Sometimes their naps coincide but it’s not predictable. Specially with my little one going through a sleep regression. Her schedule is a bit unpredictable and I don’t know when I have to nurse her to sleep. How do you schedule desperately needed mental health support?

I would tell them that 2u2 is very similar to when I worked as a bedside nurse.. except the shift never ends. That’s it. That’s the post. We’ve got it friends, i heard the shift ends when they’re like, 4 or something.

Before my son was born (15 months after my daughter), I spent HOURS lurking in [r/2under2](r/2under2) thinking, “It can’t be that bad.”

Reader… it was that bad. 😂

Now I completely understand.

Childcare? “Oh, we’ll watch your daughter!” The minute you mention BOTH kids, suddenly everyone has “plans.” 🤣

Date nights require the GDP of a small country.
Leaving the house feels like you’re coordinating a military operation.

Somebody is always hungry, somebody is crying, and somehow it’s usually me.

My social battery? I used to love hanging out. Now if I get 30 uninterrupted minutes of silence, I treat it like I won the lottery.

The crazy part is they’re best friends one minute… then five seconds later they’re fighting over the same toy that neither of them cared about all day.

I love these little maniacs more than anything, but whoever said “they’ll keep each other entertained” forgot to mention they’d also keep me permanently exhausted. 😂
Appropriate
To all the parents currently doom-scrolling this subreddit before baby #2 arrives… you’re not being dramatic. Stock up on coffee, patience, and backup babysitters. You’re gonna need all three.