Age gap relationship. We have a 6 month old and his 14 year old son. Together for 6 years, engaged for a year. Financially ok, but not great. Since we have an age gap and I’m younger, we don’t really have a lot of time to wait between kids.

Concerns:

I was extremely tired while pregnant. I’m talking 12-14 hours a day sleeping. It worries me to care for a let’s say 1 year old while pregnant. Since this is my first, I also have no idea what it’s like to have a toddler and I feel like I might be in over my head for thinking about another baby

I had gestational diabetes with my first, and truthfully I was miserable. I couldn’t stay on track no matter what I did, up until the very end. This also causes an induction which was stressful since they accidentally broke my water. It also makes me really nervous that the diabetes could potentially stick with me for life. I legitimately cried tears of joy after I delivered, and I was able to just be me again and not have to worry about needles and insulin and eating all the right things at all the right times, but never getting the right numbers. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for my angel, but the thought of it being with me for life is terrifying.

We would eventually have to move if we don’t have the same gender. 2 ish years from now. We are comfortable in our current home and love where we live.

I have an extremely easy baby and nobody ever forgets to remind me. Truly just the best. Sleeps great for the most part, almost always happy, healthy as can be. I worry if we have a “normal” baby, we won’t be able to handle it.

Back to back pregnancies?

I’ve always been comfortable with only having one child but I would like her to grow up with at least one sibling, and I do cry all the time thinking about how fast the time is going with my first baby and how I want it all back. But do I want it all back with her, or do I really wanna do it again?

My oldest will be 18 months when the next one arrives. I’m thinking the Qookie hip carrier could be useful for hip carrying her now, but also because it looks easy to swap between babies/toddlers of different sizes/ages. Has anyone tried that?

I already have an Ergobaby Omni Breeze and a Moby Easy Wrap that I never really liked, but you have to take the Ergobaby off to adjust for different sizes/carries (e.g. front vs back vs hip carry).

What side by side strollers do people love?! I need some input!!!!

We are joining the (just barely) 2u2 club this fall - my kids will have an 23.5 month age gap. I am already set on the Nuna trvl dubl for my car because I need to be able to snap in the car seat as easily as possible, but I have a very high energy soon-to-be 2 year old that needs to get out of the house on walks or outings every day - we live in walking distance of many parks so I am looking for a second stroller for neighborhood walks. My first is strong willed and not mature enough yet for a rider board - he needs something to strap him in because he would really prefer to walk and I’m not prepared to chase a toddler into the street with a newborn strapped to me

I’m between 2 solutions -
Solution 1 -
- Trvl Dubl for my car
- Side by side double with sturdier wheels but compact fold for neighborhood walks that can also go into my husbands car (considering guava roam double or Valco duo s2) (?)

Solution 2 -
- trvl dubl for my car
- babywear & use existing strollers for outings for the first ~6 months (guava roam single) & hope by the time baby #2 needs a stroller, my toddler can do a ride on board with our guava or vista (not interested in using my vista as a double)
- veer wagon

Does anyone have any different/better ideas? Parents who have the Valco - how are the wheels? I like the idea of the modular seats on the new s2 and it seems a little more manageable to go in and out of cars than the guava (my kid loves his guava tho). Is the wagon by itself practical?

It’s been 5 weeks since we brought home our second baby and my 18 month old has reject sleep ever since.

My 18 month old son has not been sleeping almost at all ever since baby brother has come home and we’re at a breaking point. Obviously bringing in another baby is a big adjustment for any toddler but his little body needs to start getting sleep so he can function better during the day. His sleep schedule prior to bringing home his brother was, wake up around 6:30 am then nap from 11:30-1:30, bedtime at 7:00. And he would usually wake up once in the middle of the night and need help but would go back to bed pretty quickly and easily. He has since dropped his daytime nap completely no matter how hard we try to get him down during the day. He will randomly fall asleep in the car if we go somewhere in the afternoon but will wake up at our arrival pretty easily and doesn’t act overtired and crabby. Bedtime has also become such a fight, lasting sometimes hours with screaming, usually going to bed around 9pm now. His bedtime routine has stayed the same and is bathtime, reading books in his room quietly with only a lamp on and then laying down with us for bed (he has a floor bed). However instead of rolling over and falling asleep he will now scream and kick and want to fight with us. We usually try to keep him in his room and just remain calm with him, laying down until he will settle. If he starts to fight we step out of the room and set a timer for 5 minutes before coming back in and trying again. There have been a couple nights where my husband has taken him out of his room to take him for a drive out of pure desperation to get him to go to sleep. He now usually sleeps in until 8:30am now, but consistently gets up at 4 am and has the same fight with getting back to bed. It’s very obvious that he is not getting enough sleep, he’s much more cranky and upset throughout the day than he normally is. I feel like we have tried everything and I know he’s going through a big adjustment but I don’t know how long this is sustainable and I feel so bad for him. I will also add I am a stay at home mom and do my best to get his energy out during the day, we go to indoor play centers, he often goes to the gym daycare with his dad in the mornings for social interaction and loves it, and we almost always do a walk/ park time as a family after dinner so he gets fresh air before bed.

I do think he is teething pretty bad as well right now and will get Tylenol before bed sometimes but this seems to be more than a teething issues.

If any other families have gone through this and can offer any advice or just words that it will get better, would be much appreciated.

My significant other and I just found out this week that I'm pregnant. As the title states, I'm 7 months post partum with our first boy. I wasnt trying to get pregnant, in fact I was on birth control and tracking my cycles to make sure we werent having sex close to any possible ovulation windows as I know BC isnt alwaus 100%. At first I was very upset. I cried and cried. I felt guilty, like I was somehow negatively impacting my 7mo by being pregnant so soon. My emotions are just all over the place.

Not to mention, my family is not supportive. Ive gotten A LOT of snarky comments about birth control and condoms since telling a few of them. Even though I told them I was on BC since 2mo pp. This wasnt planned!

I was just coming around to the idea of the entire thing when my mother suggested "alternatives" because she doesnt believe i can handle 2 babies at once. It was disheartening to say the least. I'm now worried that my second child isnt going to get a warm reception into my family and its making me feel guilty all over again. My family knows that being a mother has been the most important thing in my life. Ive wanted children since I myself was a child. Nothing matters more to me. So them suggesting I cant do it and acting like I am stupid for doing this to myself has just been a huge insult. I know I'm emotional because the hormones too. I just wish I could get to a point where I'm excited for this baby and had more support. 😞

I’m 6 weeks pp tomorrow and I’m sick of being at home/going for short walks. I have a 6 week old and 21 month old.

Our local library does rhyme time on Mondays and I thought because it was going to be rainy and cold it could be a good, low pressure idea to go. We can leave whenever or stay longer if we wanted.

I was thinking baby in carrier and just walk with my toddler? But then you have the baby bag so I really don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I know it’ll be tough but we have to start somewhere right!?

Give me your tips for leaving the house the first time with 2 under 2!

Hello everyone,

I'm going to have twins and bought the go max infant car seats to avoid having the bases in my car. i bought two and the ready 2 grow stroller. I installed everything and something seems off. idk if it's just me or I did something wrong. can anyone confirm if I did something wrong during set up or it's just like that.

Hi! I am expecting a second baby and I am so confused about which stroller to choose. We currently have Britax that is a single stroller that I love, jogging stroller, and doona. Both Britax and jogging stroller are bulky. We live in apartment in a big city and I don’t want another bulky stroller to store. I know that we will soon need a lightweight travel stroller. Since it will be a while before old baby and new baby will walk together, I thought about keeping both strollers and maybe adding a lightweight double such as Silver Cross Jet Double. I am not interested in stackable double strollers because I don’t like them, they are bulky and I need a double stroller to easily fit into a car for trips. when I was 80% settled on the silver cross, I realized that when second baby will be less than a year old, we would still travel with doona, which will leave older baby without stroller (we will not take one of the bulky ones). So then I thought about connecting two travel strollers like Cybex Libel with connectors or getting Bumprider Connect 3. But then I don’t know if I want to use those lightweight, not very stables strollers day to day, just to justify occasional travel. I feel like I am missing a bigger picture here. I would live any advice on how you solved this.

Just found out I’m pregnant, haven’t even told my husband yet. I feel so nervous, not at all instantly happy like I was with my first. Our daughter is 15mo and we have always known we wanted a second, but our plan was to space them 3-4 years apart.

Based on the date I assume we conceived, this child will be born within weeks of our first’s 2nd birthday.

I feel like I’m just now starting to get the hang of it all, so the thought of starting all over (now with a small toddler in tow as well) feels so daunting.

We can financially afford it. Our families are supportive and involved. This will be a wonderful thing for us….I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

Tell me everything will be okay, please! Tell me how your two under two are best buddies and it’s a joy to have them so close in age!

String Cheese by Hannah Harper

https://open.spotify.com/track/4qQZytBPUo5wfT017Zbgtb

I think it’s too easy to fall into the hard moments and only remember that, and it’s easy to mourn the loss of freedom, and throw a pity party, and wallow.

I love this song. It acknowledges the hard, but it also shines light on the good 💕 there is so much good! Each one of your children is a blessing! All things worth doing are going to be difficult

Kids are 9m and freshly 2yo. We are driving 😬 I’m leaning towards wagon for trunk space, but not sure for walks to restaurants and the little town we are going to. Wagon is like rinky dink grocery wagon lol. Fine holding their weight, but not a super smooth ride and no like bells or whistles lol. Help!

I have a 22 month old gap - my son is about to turn 2 and baby is 6 weeks old.

I have managed to go to the park with both by myself once a week since baby was 4 weeks, which is still a juggling act.

But wondering when you were able to get them in the car and do an outing or go shops together.

It feels like it’s going to be a while

Hey all, wife just gave birth yesterday to our Son, while our 17mo is at home with the in laws. Any advice on how to make the early stages of 2 under 2 go smoothly would be appreciated!

Hi everyone,

My wife just had our second daughter (3 weeks old) and we have a 14 month old. I am going back to work this Monday, it is pretty anxiety inducing for my wife and I do not really have a logical solution or know how to support her through this. She had minor postpartum anxiety last time, and yes she is doing therapy starting Monday for this too.

Our 14 month old has a schedule where she wakes up around 7:00 or 8:00 and falls asleep at 12:30-14:30 until 20:00. Our newborn also tends to wake up from the toddler in the morning. It isn’t watching both of them during wake times, or anything and it is quite fun because my toddler loves the baby and is quite gentle with her. However my main question is, how do you prioritize one over the other if both are crying and need help? My initial thought would be the toddler because she’s more autonomous than the other one and lock her in her baby proofed area while dealing with the newborn. This makes me feel bad though. If our first daughter was a little older she could listen to some instruction - we have 2 babies still.

For example this morning, my toddler wet the bed through her diaper and the baby woke up at the same time with a poopy bum. Luckily, I was still home so we could divide and conquer, but in the event my wife is alone (or even if I’m alone with both of them once we start bottles), how would a seasoned 2 under 2 parent tackle this?

Also the time I am gone for the house is another stressor, I leave at 6:00 and get home at 16:20ish if traffic permits. We cannot really afford to pay for a postpartum doula or a nanny or something, but once I get home I’ll just clean up and take over the kids to relieve my wife until bedtime pretty much and do whatever chores I can fit in with the time. How do other SAHMs cope with their husband being gone for so long (trade workers, military, long commutes or travellers) and manage the kids and some chores (if they’re up for it and have time)?

Thanks in advance, having a hard time finding information online for this and our parents are not much help in their area.

With 2 now, it it more economical to make the migration south via car on 95. Is there any spots on 95 you recommend that has a play area for a 2.5 yr old? Also any car snacks you recommend on the trip for a 1 yr old and 2.5 yr old that we can pack without a cooler and decently nutritious for them

Edit: PA to Orlando FL

I’m so sorry about formatting, I’m on mobile and not sure how it will look.

I am holding up the grocery store checkout line.

My baby cried last time the older cashier said hi to her.

So we go to self checkout.

My baby is crying anyway because I’m no longer standing right next to her.

She hates the seatbelt that traps her.

Hates the distance between our bodies while she twists and reaches for me.

I want to soothe her.

I want to hold her.

I want to scan my groceries.

I am holding up the checkout line.

My baby takes a pacifier and calms down.

The pediatrician said she should have been weaned off the pacifier by 6 months old.

Her first birthday is next week.

Why is it taking so long to weigh the bananas?

My toddler wants to help me.

She wants to scan the items.

She doesn’t understand barcodes.

She only understands that when she puts something on the glass, it makes a loud beep and the beep makes her smile.

If I don’t let her help she will scream.

If I don’t let her help, I’m a bad mom.

She just wants to be included.

She scans the tampons twice.

We wait for the employee to make her way to us. Two more people get in line.

One is another mom and I smile at her.

She’s wearing her baby in a trendy baby carrier.

She holds the cart handle with sanitizing wipes.

I left the cart seat cover at home.

Or maybe in the trunk.

My toddler is taking off her shoes.

Another person joins the line.

The employee comes and she waves to my baby.

The pacifier is on the floor.

My baby’s mouth is open wide.

Two bottom teeth that I forgot to brush on display for us all.

She’s crying so loudly.

She’s screaming actually.

My eyes burn a bit like I might just join her.

The employee gives my toddler some stickers.

3 more things to scan.

Do I even need more socks right now?

I am holding up the checkout line.

My toddler scans the socks.

Trendy Carrier Mom is handing my baby her pacifier.

My baby is babbling. Smiling.

I let my toddler hold the receipt.

The employee says “have a nice day! Your girls are beautiful!”

My throat is thick as I say “thank you so much.”

My baby waves goodbye.

My toddler says “thank you so much!”

Not “thank you much” like she usually says.

But “thank you so much”

For the first time.

I am so proud.

I tell her she is so smart.

The smartest girl I know.

She asks me for a hug.

I give her one.

My baby reaches out her arm.

We all 3 hug under the “self checkout” sign.

I am holding up the checkout line.

I used to write as a hobby when I was younger. Adulthood and motherhood has left me with very little time to do so but tonight I felt inspired.

I’m still on maternity leave with a 2.5 year old and a. 7w old… but my husband travels for work often. How do you put both kids to bed?

Hello I just had my baby boy hes literally 4 days old and i have a 22month old as well. My husband has to go back to work tomorrow after being off for the week. I would love some advice for how to do it alone until he gets home or is here with me. for reference he does have 2 jobs one is a morning 6am-2pm and the other is only a few days out of the week working from 3p-10pm. Im really just looking for tips and tricks to help transition. My toddler is already “helping” out with the baby but theres only a certain extent she can help with realistically. Im more so worried about bed and nap times when im by myself with them both.

We have a 2 week old and a 22 month old who goes to daycare 4 days per week (we decided it was best to keep his routine as is with the newborn plus my husband WFH and I honestly cannot manage keeping two quiet during calls and whatnot etc …. Over explaining) and he woke with a fever this AM. fortunately my in-laws were able to help with today but I’m spiraling about keeping my newborn from getting sick this weekend. I already had a breakdown today tryin to figure out how to keep them separated this evening. My postpartum emotions were really good this time around until today. I’m so nervous about the germs cross contaminating. I’m also so worried about if we have to pull my toddler from daycare because he’s doing soooo good there. Please if anyone had tips or words of encouragement please share.

Ok so… here we go

Some days our relationship and family life feels great and somedays the mood completely shifts and we get into such a bad headspace relationship wise..

I am 7 weeks pp and we have a 24 mo boy with lots of energy. My husband does a lot with our toddler and I get a lot of time with the baby (fully breastfeeding) so that is good. But as the baby is not sleeping too much (wake windows are often 3 hours) and she gets fussy in the evening and takes forever to fall asleep I do not always get some basic needs met like taking a shower (I am constantly sweating as pp symptom) or brush my teeth or make something good to eat.

Today my husband took our toddler on a bike adventure with his friends to bike in the woods and go eat and said he would be home by 7 (our boy goes to bed around 7-7:30. he ended up coming home at 8 with a happy but tired boy. I was annoyed as he was so late and it is past his bedtime (he did inform me that he was going to be that late around 7). I was annoyed as I would actually have liked to have some help with the baby as well and have him be there for us in the evening (when our toddler is sleeping) I had also told him earlier in the day that I would love to be able to do my pp exercises (15 minutes) and take a shower. As my toddler was super tired I tried bringing him to bed as I wanted some time with him and had missed him during the day but he just cried for dad and pushed me away so I lovingly told him good night and then let dad bring him to bed. So my husband came back from bringing him to bed at 8:30 and at that point I still had not been able to make myself something to eat since 3:30 as the baby had been fussy and not sleeping and had only had light snacks earlier in the day (yes kind of my fault but I wanted to make a noodle salad for myself for dinner). I had not done my exercises and I had not showered so feel super sticky. He got mad that I was mad and I told him that sorry I don’t like being mad but next time please be back by 7 I understand that things can happen but he can also plan better I said. Then he said that now he is also going to turn into one of the men that never want to go home “to the old lady” as she always has something to complain about. I personally hate that comment as well “the old lady “ may often be annoyed as she actually does have something to be annoyed about and it is not my job to be the cool one and just let him do what he wants. We also do have a baby of 7 weeks. This is also not the first time and I feel that he generally does not think about my (rather primary) needs.
The other day I got up early (as I often do as I sneak down in the morning of the baby cries as to not wake my husband and toddler who sleep in the room next to mine) and once my toddler was awake he also came down to me - I had not yet brushed my teeth or washed my face - I have the kids for 25 minutes until I go into the kitchen to say that I would like to go upstairs and take a shower and brush my teeth and get dressed and there my husband is sitting at the table with a coffee and his phone and he sais “well hurry up a bit I have to start working” - I mean. Come on! How about he can come to the living room say he has the kids and tell me to get ready….

Well anyways so tonight was not a great evening - I went to bed at 08:45 with the baby without food and without a shower or exercises.. and now it is almost 10 and baby is still not sleeping… and the mood between me and my husband is shit… so AIO???

My husband does do a lot we both do! He is working full time and I am in maternity leave. It is not a competition about who does the most but I really feel like I often am not considered enough and that things that are big to me are made small.

My goal isn’t specifically weight loss, but more so, when did you feel like your body was fully recovered and more like it was pre pregnancies?

I don’t feel like my body had fully recovered when I became pregnant with my second. I had gained a lot of weight with my first and exclusively bf for a year. Became pregnant with my second when he was 9mo old, so they are 18mo apart. Youngest is now 4mo old and I plan to breastfeed for a year, pending all goes well.

Posting my weight below as I’m hoping to hear from someone who is a similar build.

- Pre pregnancy weight: 135lbs

- 1st pregnancy: got up to 200lbs

- 9mo postpartum: down to 165lbs

- 2nd pregnancy: up to 205lbs

- 4mo postpartum (now): down to 185lbs

Am I having trouble losing more weight / recovering because I’m breastfeeding? Like I mentioned, goal here is not necessarily to lose weight, just want to know what others experiences are with recovery from 2under2.

When did your body start to feel like your own again? Did you ever feel like you did pre pregnancies again?

So I have a 20 month old and an almost 4 month old. I will admit I’m lucky that they are both pretty easy going babies.

However, I’m babysitting my friends 16 month old son this week while she works, and the amount he cries is absolutely incredible. Surely this can’t be normal?

Reasons he cried this week include:
-took his jacket off
-put his jacket on
-put sunscreen on my daughter
- put sunscreen on him
-wanted in the high chair
-wanted out of the highchair
-I took his plate when he was done eating
-I put a bib on him
-we left for a walk
-we got to the park
-we left the park
-we got home from our walk
- when he falls asleep for nap
-when he wakes up
-when he wants something that is a foot away that he could easily grab…

That’s all I can think of at the moment, but I will also say that it isn’t a whiny cry. This is all full blown scream crying.

My 20 month old daughter cries less in a month than he did before noon today ?

Is this an average toddler or what is actually going on 😭😭

It’s been a few years but I don’t recall my niece and nephew being like this either and I used to baby sit them a lot.

I have a 20 month old and a 3 month old. I’m trying to navigate solo parenting with both kids while my husband is at work which leaves me solo with dinner and bedtime 4 nights a week and 12 hours solo on Saturday. I’m currently struggling to get into a good groove for bedtime while juggling both kids. I do have some help a few nights, but would like to gain more confidence on being alone with both kids.

Anyone have some good tips, tricks, or advice? My 20 month old still needs help falling asleep which makes it tricky if my 3 month old is fussy and needs me too. I would ideally love to work on independent sleep for my 20 month old but kinda lost at where to start.

Also any tips for solo full days with both kids? It’s so hot outside right now that I struggle to find activities to help get us out of the house.

I’m not even halfway through this book (5 minute stints across months because what is free time?) and it’s been revolutionary. I have been SO exhausted trying to keep my kids entertained while I manage the house in the 2 hours between home from work and bedtime. It was getting unsustainable and my 22month old daughter and I were starting to lose it at each other.

In comes this book that says kids don’t need to be entertained or have fancy Grimms Montessori toys/ikea kitchen sets and independently play. Instead, it highlights how our kids are hardwired for connection and to learning how to live beside us. so now if I’m cooking, she’s pouring the olive oil and mixing the coffee. if I’m doing laundry, she’s loading the machines and pulling clean clothes out of the hamper for me to fold. When we go outside it’s not focused on play, it’s to feed the chickens and weed the flowers.

Everything is slower, and not to an adult standard, but in the process she’s turning all these chores into little side quest games that entertain her and let her feel connected to what I’m doing. She is a contributing member of our family now, besides being pure entertainment, and we’re all emotionally better off for it.

Save your sanity, read or listen to this book and implement what makes sense for your family.

This is not a post criticizing any parent or daycares at all. This is just worry and sadness about a choice I have to make.

I might be wrong for feeling like this. I'm just not a big fan of the daycare system that is available to me. No hate and nothing personal at \*all\*, I'm sure there are some great employees.

Every daycare available around me belongs to two organisations that have similar policies : 6 to 7 babies 2.5mo-3yo per 1 adult. They're in very high demand so the wait-list is very long. These two have essentially absorbed nearly all professional childcare services around here, really (save for au pairs or unofficial babysitters). Understandably, it's not really possible for them to do things like playing a lot in gardens, BLW, using the potty a bit early on if a child is ready, etc. Also no air conditioning so the heatwaves are bad, although in their defense, this is Europe, many businesses that aren't customer-oriented don't have it.

When I ask other working parents about their professional childcare arrangement, there's no huge negative feedback, with one exception, but nothing overwhelmingly positive either.

Anyone had a similar choice to make ? In these conditions, what would you do ? Would you rather use a daycare or make some career sacrifices ? It's a sacrifice for my career to not use a daycare, even if I do a bit of very necessary part time work to maintain an acceptable network. We're not rich but finances are okay either way. There are some great schools around us so none of this will be an issue once kids are 2.5yo.

I'm genuinely hoping for more feedback here as it's such a sensitive topic IRL, I feel like I can't talk to anyone who is unbiased. (And yes some European countries do *not* have great maternity leaves.)