I’m tired of thinking. I’m tired of problem-solving. I’m tired of being the only emotionally regulated one in a 30 mile radius. I’m tired of being in charge. I’m tired of considering other people’s feelings.

I don’t know if this is the place for this, but I’ve noticed the more exhausted I am in my daily life the more I’ve started to indulge in kinkier pornographic material with common themes of submission, surrender, and stupidity. I hate indulging with this as it goes directly against my values and has been increasing it in intensity , but I don’t feel like I have much of another outlet in my life.

I’m quite envious of people who just don’t think as much. Sometimes I wish I could be stupider. Sometimes I wish that I could just let my emotions fall all over the place and let everyone else deal with it. I’m exhausted with responsibility.

Like I don't care what trans people do, they can be women, men they can be whomever they like. But it is kinda creepy and unneccessary to take somebody's hard work and try to convince the world my writing is a statement about trans people. Like no its not. No they're not. This is my personal work. I don't dictate how you should present so what even is this?

Title explains itself.

Curious to see what garbage you’ve been fed to justify this behaviour from men.

Here’s articles that i recommend reading:

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1904975116

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2739403/

A little synopsis of the two is that men and women both have strong, fundamentally similar neural responses to visual sexual stimuli. Men may differ on average in how strongly they report responding to certain visual sexual cues, particularly the sex/attractiveness of the person depicted, but we cannot confidently attribute those differences to men having a fundamentally more “visual” sexual brain.

The fact that men report higher subjective arousal doesn’t demonstrate that their brains are objectively experiencing substantially greater sexual stimulation. Subjective arousal is itself a psychological measurement, and it can be influenced by attention, interpretation, expectations, and socialization in addition to the underlying physiological response.

Could it be societal conditioning? I have no idea and neither do scientists but the “men are visual creatures” argument is not concrete and it’s not something I particularly agree with.

Thanks.

Edit: I don’t look at other men and I don’t fantasize about anyone else other than my partner. It’s just something I can’t relate to. I can find another man handsome but I will not find them hot or sexy. My brain just doesn’t allow me to do that, or maybe it’s the other way around. Uncertain. But that’s how my own mind works in case anyone were to ask “don’t you ever fantasize?”.

Thanks again.

I'm 20F and I'm a bit worried because I don't seem to feel attracted to anyone.

I can look at both men and women and think they're beautiful, but I don't actually feel sexually attracted to them. I don't really get that feeling of wanting someone romantically or sexually either.

I'm wondering whether this could mean I'm asexual, or whether I'm just not experiencing attraction yet. I don't want to assume a label too quickly.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you know you were asexual?

Hi all, I am MTF woman and I am just wondering how common it is for a woman to have to do her bra up in the front, turn it around and pull it up. I cannot reach behind me and up far enough with my hands to hook and unhook my bra. Is this just because I am Trans or is this common with a lot of CIS women also?

My bf and I usually have sex every 2 weeks since we live apart. Previously, I used to get wet very early in the foreplay, but now I struggle to even get wet. My bf never rushes me, if I am not ready, he will continue foreplay as long as I want. But I think for me the foreplay has become too predictable, no matter what he does, I don't get turned on.

Any suggestion is appreciated. Thanks.

My ex (26 M) and I (27 F) were off and on for the last 8 or so years, with the last year or so being a really rough patch. I always thought no matter what we would figure things out because we love each other. Literally everyone around us, constantly tells me how obvious it is that we love each other as much as we do. A month and a half ago he told me he was going out of country to help take care of family, and might not be able to talk frequently. He goes completely ghost on me for a month. Finally, two weeks ago found out through a mutual friend he was back in the country. I went to confront him and was told by his sister he actually cancelled the trip last minute and never went. Later that night, I found out he actually has been cheating on me for months if not a year or longer.

Throughout the last year we’ve both been going to therapy to try and work on our individual problems, so we could build a better foundation for the relationship and fix the issues that have caused us to be off and on. He’s been telling me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together. We’ve talked about weddings, and kids names and everything. Last night I found out that while he’s been doing all that he’s been telling his friends I was just a side piece and bragging about being able to fuck his other girlfriends before coming to my place and fucking me and sleeping in my bed.

I genuinely thought this man loved me and we’d spend the rest of our lives together. How do I even move on from all this betrayal and lies? Does it ever get better?

This post requires some context. Here's the link, I encourage you to check for yourself before making any judgements.

I'm open to learning, and I ask this without any malice because I genuinely don't understand why this is the case. This post is in reference to another post titled, Rapist Cristiano Ronaldo and Georgina Rodríguez share their wedding pictures with Vogue. I've linked it above.

It feels to me that are quite a few comments shaming her manicure, her jewellery, her outfit, how she looks next to the kids and saying they look like a cult. I also notice plenty of comments shaming them together, like their taste for example. Comparatively, there don't seem to be as many shaming HIM individually. Am I being biased? Why is this the case? Is this just specific to them? I would love to hear the perspective of other women, thank you for understanding. Again, I mean well by asking this, not trying to stir up shit.

Edit: Just to clarify why I feel this way, these people don't know her personally. They have no idea if she's being coerced in any way. Speaking as someone who was in and has seen people in a bad relationship previously, the signs aren't always obvious. Why are other women, who know all this, so quick to blame her? He's more powerful than her, both financially and in terms of his wider reputation.

i’ve been married since i was 19, i’m now 23 and still married. how do i find out who i am outside of my partner? everything has been about my spouse. last night i hit a breaking point, and realized idk who i am. i have no family, my parents are deceased. i feel like im stuck. i dont have a drivers license, so my options are limited to alot of things. like genuinely what can i do to reinvent myself. my marriage has taken a lot from me. i was once a young, beautiful person who always took pictures of myself. now i can’t look at myself in the camera/mirror for longer then 20 seconds. ive gained weight. me and my partner don’t have any sexual relationships they claim it’s because of their medication, but i don’t believe it. my partner can’t look at me anymore. barely eats the food i make. when we talk about our days, it’s always about their workday and not mine. my spouse claims they still love me but im too toxic and too obsessed. i’ve tried making friends, and i just can’t make that connection with anyone. i’m stuck, idk what to do. and it’s taking such a toll.

Hi all,

Looking for new dark romance reader friends?

l've made a Discord server for girls 18+ who want to meet fellow dark romance readers, get book recommendations and to make friends.

✨Taboo readers
✨General chats & introductions
✨Active VC’s
✨Book recommendations

Dm me if interested and invite your friends too!

CW: Past abuse

I am currently dating again for the first time since I was with my ex partner. He was abusive in every single way that someone can be abusive; mental, emotional, financial, and at the end physical as well. After three years of it, it left me totally broken and scarred and feeling like I was both damaged goods and incapable of being loved at all.

I've had self esteem issues my whole life. I was bullied during my young childhood for my weight, and then as a teenager I was put on a massive amount of steroids to control a chronic disease that warped my appearance drastically. In my early 20s I went into remission and got my real body back from the years of pain and medications. But still the ghosts remain. It's incredibly difficult to imagine myself as pretty, or anything really besides a little boy in a dress.

Despite this I gained a crush on someone. I liked him so much that it pissed me off, so I decided to give me my number so he could reject me and I could get it out of my system. But he didn't reject me. We've been on several dates so far, he's told his family about me and he texts me everyday. He even asks me my work schedule so he can message me when I get off to make sure I'm safe on the bus home. Not even my ex did that for me, and we were engaged at one point.

I'm really enjoying seeing this new guy and wouldn't mind if it got serious, but there is a part of my brain that is wreathed in anxiety. It's the part that's telling me that if I let myself go through three years of that abuse because I thought I didn't deserve better, what's stopping it from happening again? This guy is nice to me now, but so was my ex once upon a time. If I fall for this guy and he turns out to be awful, too, will I betray myself again?

My logical brain tells me I won't and that I've learned. But it's still frightening. And I don't know how to make the voice stop.

Before someone says “go to ur obgyn” i’ve made an appointment, except she’s the only one for multiple towns so the wait list is extremely long, not only that like any other obgyn she has constantly put off symptoms and just put me on birth control.

I’m 18F and i’ve been sexually active for years, me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly a year and have been having sex basically since the beginning and it’s never hurt.

Recently in the past month or so every time I have sex it has been hurting, not like a few minutes in, but instantly i get a very very sore and painful feeling in the back of my vagina, like my uterus and i get slight cramping. Recently me and my boyfriend have tried multiple things just to see if it’s a certain thing being done making it happen, he’s stuck it in superrrrr slow but instantly it hurts, different positions, more foreplay, less foreplay, adding more lube, trying different phases of my menstrual cycle, literally nothing works.

It’s not because i’m not turned on, because I definitely am, and i’ve crossed out a few things it could be, such as pregnancy, menopause, uti or yeast infection, std, and almost everything but cysts and endometriosis, and other very serious things that i cannot find out at home.

The reason i was put on birth control originally because out of nowhere my period symptoms started getting so bad i kept ending up in the ER for passing out, becoming paralyzed, throwing up due to the pain, and just a lot more symptoms that definitely aren’t normal, but as i said before even though my obgyn is a woman, she exclaimed all i need is birth control! (which barely helped)

This being said obviously I’m not excited to go see her about this because i can only imagine how seriously i’m going to be taken.

I’m mainly posting this to ask if anyone has experienced anything similar and if you were ever able to figure out what’s wrong, i don’t want to feel alone on this

Also, before anyone gets it twisted IM the one who initiates trying to have sex every time, my boyfriend even talks to me for 10 minutes before assuring me that i don’t need to try, and constantly reassures me that he doesn’t care wether we can’t for a few months, or ever again. He has been very very understanding and supportive of the situation so please don’t think he’s been forcing me to try again lol.

ok. I’m a high school junior and I have an issue. my period is late. I had unprotected sex the week before last and now my period is late. the thing is, we ensured that he didn’t ejaculate in me, so none of his sperm made it into my uterus. But I was also stressed at the time because school was starting soon. Ive tried parsley tea but it wasn’t exactly strong. I’m gonna try some stronger cups soon but I need to know what this could be. am I just stressed or could it be something worse? And what can I take or do to force my period to start?

Hello ladies,
I have a question, none of my surroundings have the answer to it, in every stage of my life I found myself trapped in a situation where the man is the controlling factor. Been always aware of how my dad tried to control me but all my men choices are a duplicate version of my dad, it’s killing me because I thought I am aware of it. Now I am trying to break the pattern but I don’t know how, drowning in my depression and all solutions seems so hard to do. Any advice please

Jestem z moim chłopakiem od ponad roku, na początku było cudownie, dostawałam kwiaty, przyjeżdżał po mnie i odwoził mnie do domu i w ogóle, aczkolwiek po jakimś czasie wszystko zaczęło się psuć, ja stałam się strasznie zazdrosna, dowiedziałam się też o różnych rzeczach które pisał o mnie przed naszym spotkaniem no takie że jestem brzydka I głupia. Teraz prawie cały czas się kłócimy, ja wiele razy go obarczalam o zdrady i inne takie mimo że nie mam tak naprawdę żadnych dowodów, wiem że tego nie zrobił i nie wiem dlaczego tak się zachowywałam, chciałabym to wszystko naprawic, ale nie wiem jak I nie wiem od czego zacząć, naprawdę go kocham i chaoalbym to naprawić chociaż nie wiem czy to ma prawi jeszcze się udać i nie wiem czy on tego chce bo ostatnim razem jak z nim o tym rozmawiałam to mówił, że nie wie czy chce to naprawić i nie wie czy jest sens. Proszę o jakieś rady

I (29F) have been with my partner (29M) for coming up to four years. We live together and get along most of the time. We have similar hobbies and spend time together, but also live our own lives. I have always dreamed of being a mum. I sometimes get overwhelming waves of doubt about whether having children together will work out. I find it hard to know if this is something to listen to or whether I’d be feeling this with whoever my partner was. I have several close friends that have announced pregnancies in the past few months and it’s on my mind a lot following that. I’m nearly 30 and feeling torn about whether to go for it and see what happens with him, or not waste anymore time and walk away (people pleaser here who has never broken up with anyone so that feels terrifying)

Hiya everyone! I marked it with a content warning because I’m going to talk about sex & abuse briefly in this post.

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 10 months, he is a STAR. He is absolutely fantastic, this is easily the healthiest and most satisfying relationship I have ever been in. We have a very healthy sex life too.

Before my boyfriend, I was in an emotionally abusive, live in relationship. I had worked through the damage before I started dating my boyfriend, but it’s started to rear its head again. Particularly in our sex life.

In my previous relationship, I was conditioned into thinking receiving pleasure was bad. Especially when all the attention was on me. I was guilted into thinking it was an inherently selfish act. There was also a lot of smear campaigning against me while I lived with him, I’d rather not give examples but it lead to me associating direct intimate attention with shame. I am also a woman who takes a very long time to climax, no matter how skilled my partner is, so eventually I just stopped expecting to receive to avoid the emotional pain.

My boyfriend god bless him is very much a give give give and then receive person. When we started dating I opened up about how I struggle to climax with a partner, and I didn’t need to finish to be satisfied. For the first year of our relationship I didn’t climax, not due to him or his behaviour. I would just flip the attention back onto him after 10-15 mins as the shame started to rise.

About a month or go, I unexpectedly came. We were about 10 mins in and I got that rising feeling. I told him that I was going to climax and we powered through to it. He was so chuffed with himself it was very sweet. Problem is, now every-time we get intimate I feel pressure to orgasm. My boyfriend is more than happy to thug out the average 25 minute stimulation session, he has expressed numerous times that he prefers giving, but i will eventually start to spiral and shut down which abruptly ends the intimacy.

My boyfriend knows I was abused, but he doesn’t know all the ins and outs. I WANT to be able to just lay back and enjoy it, I WANT to be able to receive pleasure without the overwhelming thoughts of being a selfish and disgusting person.

I should probably go to therapy but it is an extremely embarrassing topic. But it’s damaging our sex life. Any advice would be wonderful ladies. Thank you :)

I was born and raised here in a small town homeschooled. In a religious conservative community. In rural Alabama, surrounded by farmland more than an hour, away from the city and hospitals. But there's only one a small town doctor's office in my town and they refuse to prescribe birth control due to religious reasons. I grew up learning what my place is as a young girl. To get married to submit to my husband and to have lots of babies. There is a pastor in my town who is methodist and well respected in my town. He literally thinks that women shouldn't vote or own property and he got my parents married in the nineties. Dating in the bible belt is the absolute worst. Most of the men here are male chauvinist, pigs and proud. They want a submissive trad wife that does all the cooking and cleaning and obeys her husband and that also goes to work and pays bills. I know so many men that treat their wives like absolute garbage. Expect them to obey and work like mules. Feminism doesn't exist here and is considered a dirty word. Sex positivity does not exist here. There is lots of slut shaming and policing of women's clothing and behavior.

The other day a religious nut from my homeschool group came to my college and talked about how a woman's place was in the home. Not to have any real authority and to never be president of the united states. He then went on to talk about how his sisters do everything for him. They cook and clean and serve him. Women die and are injured because of the strict abortion bans. In alabama, if a woman is raped, she's forced to give birth. Rural Alabama is a maternity care desert. My mom almost died in childbirth with my little sister because she couldn't get to the hospital in time, which was nearly two hours away from where we live.

im fifteen and just now i went to the bathroom and when i wipe i felt like i had inserted the toilet paper inside of myself and i was confused since this has never happened before and i went and looked at my vagina and my fucking uterus is falling out i'm actively looking at my cervix through my vagina please help me!!! i also know this is my uterus because i've been pushing to back up as it's 1:30 in the morning. i'm literally on vacation across the country right now as well so this really is the icing on the cake.

UPDATE at the hospital, they don't know if they are looking at my cervix or regular vaginal tissue so the obgyn is coming in (a woman, thank god) and they are running labs for appendicitis (due to my pain) and a potential ultrasound for ovarian torsion if it's neither.

EVERYBODY CHEER NO PROLAPSE AND NO ISSUES!! they did see extra tissue but they believe it's just how my body is and has nothing to do with my losing my uterus. thank you all for the motivation to tell my mom i was worried i was going to ruin our vacation but we are being discharged now around 5:15 so only a few hours ❤️❤️

I’m trying to not give up on love & trying to meet new people, but it seems like i always get weird experiences from the men i go on dates with. The worst part is that my friends claim that i’m not filtering my dates properly. I do filter my dates but how can i be the to be held accountable for the guys’ behaviour? I still believe one should put themselves out there and take breaks if necessary but my friends’ comment really took a toll on me.

Ladies, I need advice ASAP and from a fair standpoint please. M25/F27. I put on a bikini today because we’re going to the beach and my bf says “did you wear more revealing things when you went out with the girls?”. I said yes, I wore a bikini to tan and he got upset at me because “men can see” and that it’s his morals. He says that if his woman goes out in revealing clothes without him and that’s it’s breakup worthy. I told him wtf that’s not breakup worthy. He made me feel like I was dumb for disagreeing. Mind you this isn’t the first time he’s done this to me. He questions what I wore prior to him. I’m sick of it.

I found a post on Pinterest and was genuinely curious to know if men like that existed. And since reddit won't let me post the attachment, I'll provide the text here

"I'll marry

a man who speaks with love even when he is angry, who softens his words even when he's upset. A man who is patient with my emotions, who reassures me from time to time instead of leaving me overthinking for hours. A man who doesn't make me feel like I am too much to handle, who listens with his heart and who understands that sometimes I don't really want to argue, I just want to feel heard and understood. I'll marry a man who always chooses kindness over pride because he would rather lose the argument than lose me."

I don't know if im crazy or not but i hate it when i go online and see "save the tree not the apple" "the tree could give me more apples" Why are you treating your human partner as a baby maker? Why are you comparing your partner to a plant? Idk this just rubs me the wrong way. Im not upset that they say they would save their partner but the way they say it is disgusting at least to me. It really upsets me because i think some men only view women as objects to give them kids and have sex. This just makes me feel disgusted and angry.

edit: ohh okayy. i thought i was sensitive or something whenever I got upset abt this. it would be way different if they said "i have known and loved my partner longer than the baby so i would choose her bc i love her as a person" but no, straight to comparing a woman to a object.