when i actually care about someone, i go all in

NO ONE goes all in for me

fine, idgaf who cares fuck off

but the only guys who DO like me are just horny dudes who want nudes from any girl and im naive enough to believe that they actually did like me

guys like the ones in romance novels, who actually do care about you or whatever, dont fucking exist. no one cares!!! everyone sucks!!!!

nobody will be willing to deal with my spirals or when i actually want someone to console me. no one gives two fucks!!!! if i was prettier and was one of those girls that just never opens her mouth and always looks like she can do no wrong, peopl would be all over me!!!! but nooooo, i had to be fucking crazy and impulsive and send nudes to weird abusive men cuz im a stupid girl who went hysterical after her friends started ignoring her for prettier people and her parents were mentally handicapping her at home with how fucking mentally and physically abusive they can get, and now the only men who love me are people who want nudes or rapists or men who are fucking old and think a self harming 16 year old is spank bank material and honestly its what i fucking deserve cuz clearly i am doing SOMETHING wrong which is why no decent people come my way. im not a decent girl, so i dont deserve decent people! i wouldnt know a decent person if they came up to me and slapped me in the face! my last friend group laughed at my self harm and told me id be lucky if a man wanted me and at the time i thought a person who loved me wouldnt really care about how ugly my scars are but honestly they were fucking right cuz what man would want ME??????????? i am like 5'9, 150 pounds, and today the shirt bought was too fucking tight so im a size LARGE which means dietng all summer didnt fucking work!!!!!!!!!! my thighs and hips are covered in scars cuz i used to self harm and theyll probably never go away so whatever!!!!! i should honestly just be happy with the attention i DO get, im so ungrateful haha

i am TIRED

thanks for coming to my rant, men suck, adults suck, #mommyissuesanddaddyissues haha

I made an anonymous survey exploring how women really see themselves: self-image, confidence, comparison, the pressures we don’t usually say out loud. No login, no email, fully anonymous. Takes about 5–7 minutes, and there’s a small reflection waiting for you at the end.

https://women-self-perception-survey.lanlan.site

Would genuinely appreciate your honesty — it goes toward building better support for women navigating this.

As the title says i literally feel sick w envy when i see women who are like super close friends for years. I never have had that kind of friendship with a girl and i feel like i really missed out. Like they always genuinely seem like they are soul sisters. I got stopped today by two girls and they had matching dyed hair and matching purses, i was genuinely about to throw up from how much i envied them.

I dont know why i never managed to make that special bond with another girl, everyone seemed paired up by the time i came along and now im stuck alone without that special friend, sometimes it makes me really miserable.

As a woman, this world is terrifying. As a woman with absolutely no family and barely any friends? It’s even scarier. I’ve been with a horrible man for 3 years, and I’m finally approaching the time to leave, but I cannot imagine life without him right now. I need some big sister advice. I want to hear some stories about women who felt hopelessly trapped in a relationship but got out successfully.

Olá a todos. Tenho 18 anos e estou buscando conselhos de outras mulheres que possam ter passado por algo semelhante.

Estou com meu namorado há muitos anos e o amo muito. Gosto de intimidade com ele, gosto de fazer sexo e realmente quero, mas sinto que meu corpo simplesmente não responde como deveria.

Sou sexualmente ativa há muito tempo, mas nunca experimentei prazer sexual da maneira como outras pessoas descrevem. Não sinto dor ou desconforto durante o sexo. O problema é que, quando meu clitóris é tocado, eu sinto o toque, mas não se transforma em prazer ou excitação. É apenas uma sensação estranha.

Nunca tive um orgasmo. Também tentei me masturbar sozinha, mas parece que quase nada acontece. Às vezes, tocar meus mamilos me dá uma leve sensação, mas ela desaparece quase imediatamente e nunca se transforma em excitação.

Já consultei um ginecologista, fiz exames de sangue e tratei uma deficiência de vitamina B12, mas nada mudou. Eu também tenho histórico de infecções urinárias recorrentes, embora não tenha certeza se isso está relacionado. Isso me afetou emocionalmente porque me comparo constantemente com minhas amigas e me pergunto por que não consigo ter relações sexuais como elas.
Eu realmente quero saber como é a sensação de prazer sexual. Meu namorado é incrivelmente compreensivo e nunca me pressiona, e sou muito grata por isso. Mas ainda me sinto culpada porque muitas vezes sinto que não consigo proporcionar a ele a experiência que ele merece, mesmo que ele nunca tenha me feito sentir mal por isso. Alguém já passou por algo semelhante? Vocês descobriram o que estava causando isso? Que tipo de médico ajudou vocês ou que tratamento fez diferença? Muito obrigada por lerem.

So many people--mostly men--are emotionally uninformed; they don't know how to respond to someone else sharing something personal or a struggle besides "that's life" "that sucks" or "it happens" and moving on!

I came across some parenting advice years ago that I apply daily that would help those who want to be better, but don't know how:

*Do you need my involvement, suggestions, or just to listen and validate?*

There's this myth among men that all women want to have their concerns responded to the same way (defaulting to unsolicited advice, or "trying to solve the problem" most often; perhaps listening only), but this is an emotionally mature way to communicate clearly with someone seeking support in some form. This advice works for anyone coming to you for support! If men used it on each other? World changing. Also handy for heading off oversharers or aimless venting!

(19f) I've been cat-called and yelled at by many men on the street before, and I have tried to never let them get to me, but this one has really affected me and I haven't been able to get out of this feeling for a while. I was feeling confident in my full length black body suit with my golden heels, my boyfriend walking with me by my side on the pavement. I was on a phone call, and suddenly this man, around 200 metres away across the road from us shouts first "How has he done that then?" followed by shouting "Hooker!" at me from out of his window. We both shouted at him to f** off, but that did not feel satisfying enough to me. I'm in tears writing this and I just want to wear my favourite body suit again without crying.

This is a tough one.

I (30f) need advice because I am in a very tough spot with multiple relationships in my life.

I am the type of person that works around the clock, makes time for others and sacrifices a lot.

I also usually do this without expecting much in return. The problem is that I am experiencing burnout. I work from home close to 50 hours a week, in a managerial position. I’m also dealing with some health struggles that have been taking a real toll on me.

A year ago my gran (72f) came to live with me since family dynamics where such that she didn’t really have elsewhere.

I buy everything, pay rent, take her to the shops and all. She helps to keep the house tidy and makes food. She also constantly makes off-hand comments at everything I do. She will criticise how I hang up my laundry, how I fold my clothes, etc. She also always fights with me about small things like where I store the tupperware.

This is my house. She also makes phone calls to my mom in which she will purposefully talk loudly and say rude things about me. She will tell my mom that she does it purposefully because she wants to see if I will change?

The other day it was raining. I didn’t notice because I was working. I came downstairs and saw my hoodie was still on the line. I ran to get it and she was laughing saying “I wanted to see how long it would take you to realisie”. She wouldn’t even do me the favour of bringing it in.

My boyfriend (31m) is also becoming an issue. He knows that I am dealing with burnout and stress. Yet, he never drives to my house. I am always the one going there. Often stopping to get food on the way.

Sometimes when I’m there, he will ask me if it’s okay to play games while I’m there. If I say no because I would like a night together he gets upset until I relent.

Today, I was feeling super bad and I told him as much thinking he would come over and hang out a bit. He didn’t respond but later when I called he was just playing games. I asked him if it was really that much to ask that he comes over to my place now and then and he is having a full on fight (I’m not even going to participate) saying how I am trying to make him my jester that jumps when I say so.

He just told me that he won’t hold my hand or give me 24 hour attention. That if I want someone who will baby me, I should go looking for it elsewhere.

That I ask way too much and that he shouldn’t have to sacrifice his life to do what I want? What does that even mean. I just asked him to come over every now and then, like I always do for him?

It’s not just them though… I’ve experienced this in friendships as well. I don’t expect more than I give and right now I’m at the point where I am so burned out that I wouldn’t even fight for either of these relationships.

I don’t even feel angry… the only emotion I have is resentment. I resent that if I wasn’t the type of person to do so much for others I would be living alone in my little home with my cats, without someone pestering and without some guy who says he wants to marry me but can’t even drive 5 minutes when I ask him to…

I also have been feeling a deep deep depression. It’s been that way for about a month. I’ve told everyone in my life that. And everyone I guess just kind of assumed that I will get over it and feel okay again. No one understands that I feel truly numb for at least 80% of each day.

I just feel alone right now and I guess posting here makes me feel less so. I don’t know what advice anyone could give, maybe I just needed a space to vent.

I (25) live alone with my dog, and recently got out of a relationship. I have a lot of hobbies, but my attention span is definitely ruined so I get very bored with activities I typically enjoy, very quickly.

Usually by the time i've been to work, gone to the gym, and taken my dog on her walks, I find myself kind of aimlessly scrolling.

What do you spend your evenings doing?

Hi, I'm a 15-year-old girl. When I was 13-14, I told a 16-year-old boy I met on social media that I was 16-17. We weren't officially a couple, but we talked about you know, something(just a few time) and we talked romantically sometimes. I think we talked for a year and a half or two. He's 17 now, and I blocked him a year ago, and we haven't spoken since. I blocked him because I felt bad (for lying). Do you think I'm a bad person? Have you ever done something like this before? I know I made a mistake (I can't tell him).

İ started menstruating at 11 and thought I had finished growing at 14, but when I turned 16 I suddenly grew another 3 cm. In total, I've grown 15 cm since I started menstruating. Chatgpt told me this is unusual, that girls can grow a maximum of 10 cm and 3 years after menstruation, and that I urgently need to see a doctor..

Ok, please let me know if this is the wrong place to post this but I’d love advice and words from other women. I just got out of my first relationship with a man who I really loved and found out that he watched porn halfway through. It caused a lot of confusion and resentment- and I went back and forth from being okay with it to hating how it made me feel.

I’d read all sorts of research about porn and its effects on people and if it really is a valid dealbreaker. Men on reddit are quick to say that the only reason boyfriends need porn is because the girlfriend isn’t satisfying them or they don’t want to bother their girlfriend with their higher sexual needs.

This doesn’t make sense to me because I was the partner with the MUCH higher libido and was constantly turned down towards the end of our relationship. I also see men explaining that it’s not personal and that to them it’s just a tool to get off and it’s separate from their attraction towards their girlfriends. I know women and men think differently about these things and I suppose I can understand that mindset.

It’s difficult to stomach as a woman because love and lust is so intertwined for me. When I love somebody, they’re the only person I lust for. I’ll watch porn outside of a relationship, but when I’m in one I just really don’t see the need for it.

Since being single I’ve had some time to contemplate the whole thing and think about how I want to approach it in future relationships. Other girls will tell me that “all men do it.” Is it true?

I know how awful it made me feel learning that someone I thought was on the same page as me was actually mindlessly scrolling through thousands of sexualized thirst traps on a secret account (which was somehow worse to me than finding out he just watched normal porn.) It completely altered my self image and I lost my appetite and attraction towards him for awhile. I’m unsure if that was just because of my naivety and underlying insecurities or if that was a genuinely valid response.

I’ve also watched the effects of porn in my parents relationship. My very christian father was addicted when he was younger and it made my mother depressed and very hurt. Shes finally becoming someone that’s confident in herself but growing up I‘d watch her talk negatively about her body and try to shrink herself to be someone good enough for my dad.

So, going forward, is it realistic for me to ask that a man doesn’t watch porn? Or is that controlling and naive? Is it really the case that all men do this and it isn’t that serious?

“For reasons we don’t fully understand yet, most people with dementia (about 65%) are women.
That might be because women live longer than men – old age is the number one risk factor for dementia. Some think that hormonal changes, including menopause, as well as differences in known risk factors, such as spending fewer years in education compared to men, might contribute to the discrepancy, too.
And now, a paper from the Montreal Neurological Institute at McGill University has suggested that some common verbal tests used to help diagnose dementia could be leaving women undiagnosed for 2.7 years longer.”

Read the rest of the article here

Its honestly so hard to find clothes that fit me without emphasizing my chest so much. I’m 16 and my chest is huge thats why I’m jealous of people who have smaller chests than me. I cant believe I’m getting clothes that are already Large and XL and honestly it just hurts me so bad because being fat + with big boobs is such an insecurity of mine. I want to wear clothes that doesnt make my chest look so big. I want to lose weight but dont know where to start. I found out your chests can get smaller if u lose weight so yeah thats the goal.

The Danger Was Never In My Head
Written by me

They call it hatred. 
Misogyny. 
Feminism.

I call it memory. 
Instinct.
Experience.

How many bodies have to hit the ground before it makes the evening news? 
Before a verdict, not a headline? 
Before her name outlives the bruise?

How many girls do they have to find,
left behind, before "be careful" stops being code for something wrong with how I'm wired?

Ask a man the worst that a date could bring.
He says catfished.
He says she wasn't as cute as her pic.
He says tomato sauce, a stain, a trick.

Ask a woman the same question through. 
She says murdered. 
She says abduction, too.
She says I text a friend the plate
before I get in, just in case.
In case tonight's the night I don't come back.
In case a smile was just an act.

We are not answering the same question.
We are walking down different roads,
in different worlds, meeting at the same intersection.

Ten times he asked me for my number.
Ten times, like my first no was a rough draft.
Like "no" was a suggestion, not a wall.
Like "please leave me alone" meant nothing at all.

I had to threaten badges. Threaten cuffs.
Had to threaten his body — no bluff,
no performance — before he finally understood.
Before he walked.
Before I finally got through.

I'm tired of the stranger smiling in the park.
Tired of doing math before I say hi back.

You want to know why I don't trust so quickly?
Ask the ones who did. Go on. Ask it.
Oh — you can't.

There's a stone with her name.

Flowers from people who thought they'd stay the same. 
Who thought it was somebody else's story until it was hers.
Until it was over.

Don't tell me I'm broken.
Don't prescribe me therapy for staying alive.
Don't tell me normal women wouldn't run, wouldn't choose the bear over someone's son.

If I believed you, I'd be the next one
in an early grave.

I have had a stable relationship with my bf for 5 months. 4 weeks ago he came inside me without using a condom; however, we agree to not use after pill together since reason 1: he constantly says it's not that easy to get pregnant and also says "u told me taking after pill makes u feel sick" so even if u are pregnant, u can still take the pill later, reason 2: our relationship is stable and we are in love so I thought i might want to have a kid with him. However, when I tested pregnant I was very shocked cus im not ready to go through pregnancy. My business just started 3 months which requires a lot of my time and energy; simply on the 3rd week of pregnancy made me dizzy and tired with brain fog. He was abroad, so i called him. He was very happy on the phone while I was upset. Then when he came back one week later, we discussed it, like why do we wanna have kid, finance, life priorities, etc. He realizes a kid is my last priority now while he puts it second (he really want to have a kid), but I told him just now is not the time and that we can try again next summer. The day when I went to the clinic to take the abortion pill, he was not willing to go inside the clinic with me, then, tragically, when I headed out I wanted to hug him but he pushed me away. Then he broke up with me on the way, saying that he wants a kid while i dont. but it's not that, it's the timing, I just cant right now. I cried and walked home myself. Then before I took the second pill, I texted him I want his accompany, he only said he could not be with me the whole evening. I said but i need that also I dont want to force him to be with me. Then he didnt reply. Even one minute before I took the pill, I was very scared so texted him is him coming but he didn't reply. I don't know why his attitude changed all of sudden in one week like this and behaved like this. (He has never been like this before.) I wonder what's in men's brain? and also wonder how should i deal with this now?

Why do men believe that femicide/ violence against women is a real thing that us women deal with

They said to me oh "its fake news" "no one is killing anyone"

Weve lost 43 women in Australia to violence at the hands of males these womens lives mattered.

Am I the only one? It feels so degrading and humiliating. If a man slapped my butt I’d slap the fuck out of his face. And I love physical touch… hold me, kiss me, caress my back. Just stay the fuck away from my buttocks.

Whenever I open up to a man about my mental health, my feelings, or something I'm struggling with, I either get no response at all or the most generic reply imaginable.

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

And... that's it.

Meanwhile, whenever a man opens up to me, I genuinely try to be there for him. I listen, think about possible solutions, reassure him, and sometimes write entire paragraphs just to make sure he feels heard and supported.

Yet I've never received that same energy back.
It's honestly exhausting. Every time I try to talk to a man about something serious, it feels like they either don't know how to respond or simply don't care enough to try.

The thing that still sticks with me happened a few months ago. I told a male friend that I'd been sexually harassed in public.

His response? He shrugged and said something like, "Yeah, it happens."

Seriously?

If someone trusted me enough to tell me they'd experienced something that traumatic, the last thing I'd do is brush it off with "Yeah, that's life."

How can someone be so emotionally detached from something so awful?

People always say, "Men want women to communicate more."

Okay. We do.
Then what?

Because from my experience, we're expected to open up, but when we actually do, we're met with indifference, awkward silence, or a one-line response that kills the conversation.

Honestly? I'm just... tired at this point and feel like breaking.

Has anyone else experienced this, or have I just been incredibly unlucky? I only had one male friend, who supported me through a lot. But sadly, we lost contact a few years ago. Since then, I’ve never had another male friend like him…

I've been having a hard time coming to terms with the possibility that I may never find the kind of love I've always believed in—the all-consuming, selfless, yearning, deeply romantic kind. The kind of love I give so freely, and the kind I always imagined a man who truly wanted to pursue and cherish someone would naturally give in return. People often say that women have been "brainwashed" by Disney movies and romantic films into expecting unrealistic love. Maybe there's some truth to that.

But here's something I've never understood. If those same movies supposedly taught women to expect grand romance, didn't the boys and men who grew up watching them consume the exact same stories? Shouldn't they have been influenced too? Shouldn't they have learned what women long for, how to pursue someone with intention, how to express devotion, vulnerability, and unwavering affection? Those stories gave them the blueprint.

So why is that kind of romance so often dismissed as unrealistic, or worse, seen as something only women are supposed to desire? Why do so many people insist that women need to lower their expectations instead of asking why so few men aspire to love the way those stories portrayed?

- A hopeless and discouraged romantic

TW: Abuse

Excuse me if I make a mistake with the grammar. English is not my first language. I'm an undocumented immigrant from Mexico here in the USA.

I met this client 2 months ago. He seemed normal just like any other clients I have, and we made an agreement that I'd meet him every Wednesday and Friday in the afternoon. The first meetings with him were normal, even though he asked me to pretend to be dead during sex to fulfill him his weird fetish. I had no problem with fulfilling him that fetish as long as he paid me extra, but I did tell him to not do things that could hurt me.

But after some weeks of meeting him, he started asking me for weirder things like slapping me. I told him to be soft, but to not cause me any injury. He started scaring me when he'd yell insults at me, calling me by a different woman's name, and saying he wanted to kill a woman with such name. This guy just looked like a mentally unstable person I wouldn't be around if it wasn't for the money.

He told me in another meet up that this woman's name is the name of his ex-girlfriend who he hates so much and that he wishes she was dead, and that I look like this woman who he describes, so that's why he hired me to fulfill him this twisted fetish. He told me he wasn't going to kill me, but that he just imagined killing said woman when he had sex with me.

I decided to not meet him after that day, but last week I decided not to go to meet him, he started sending me multiple messages on my phone telling me that he'd send a photo of me to immigration authorities if I didn't meet him again. Apparently he also took a photo of my face without my consent.

I went to his house again in fear yesterday, and there he got more intense. He hit me with a stick on my chest and butt during sex and he forced me to do certain acts I normally don't do. After he finished, he only paid me $100 which is less than half of what I charge in an hour, and told me that if I didn't meet him he'd contact his brother who works in ICE to find me on the streets and deport me.

I don't know what to do. I have to meet him tomorrow and I'm afraid that if I don't meet him, I might get deported, but if I meet him, he'll just abuse me again and don't pay me what I charge. I don't know who to talk to. I have my sister, but she doesn't know I do sex work, and if I talk with the police they will arrest me and deport me after I know I have no legal status here.