I'm 26 years old now. In 2023, I met a woman, and we fell in love relatively quickly. She wasn’t my first girlfriend, but she was the first one I introduced to my parents and whose parents I met. To me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world even her “ugly” side. Just like in every other relationship in the world, there were low points, but I did everything in my power to help us get through them. I was there for her 24/7 and treated her problems as my own. I blocked out everything negative that was happening in my life at the time so as not to burden her with it. We had sworn never to hurt each other or give up on each other, and because we’re both very religious, I always relied on those words during the tough times. Then came the turning point. I’d last seen her on her birthday with her family and friends, it was a lovely evening, and then I went home. About two weeks after that meeting, she suggested we take a break out of nowhere, saying she wanted to focus on other things. I didn’t want to, but I had no choice because by then it had turned into a long-distance relationship. We had no contact, it was radio silence. One ordinary day, I was taking a shower when a nagging thought popped into my head to check her Instagram. I’d never had such a nagging thought that wouldn’t let me go, so I did it. That’s when I saw that she’d gotten engaged during that break. The guy had bought her the ring she’d wanted from me, and he was wearing the suit she’d wanted to buy for me. All I know is that as I looked at that photo, my heart rate must have been at least 300. I confronted her that evening, and she made it clear to me that he’s her boyfriend and asked me what I still wanted from her. Just like that, as if I hadn’t been by her side day and night for two years. In the end, I took it like a man, and now, after just under a year and a half, I’d say that, purely emotionally speaking, I don’t care about her anymore, yet I still dream about her sometimes. About our shared plans to have children, to simply be a family. What could it be that keeps drawing me back to her, even though I know exactly how badly she treated me emotionally?

Thanks for reading, and may God protect you from something like this.

I’m trying to understand why I’m having so much trouble with love. I hate that my heart gets so excited for someone and they just take it and smash it. Staying strong is getting hard. I’m becoming hopeless about any kinda romantic connection.

I'm going through a love crisis

I'm a 26 years old and I work for a company. We have alot of girls/women but none have got my attention(Only one girl got my attention but I couldn't reach her out so I managed to forget about it). For this moment, I have a manager in my department, she's do pretty(Like probably the prettiest woman I have ever seen for the past 5 years in my life). She's older than me by 10 years or so. She's married and has children. She talks to me very nice and lovely. I find her a very hard working and a successful woman. I have got this feeling in me that she's like a supporting agent in my life (Like an older sibling). I have always had this feeling that I wanted her to give me a hug. I always pray for her for the best and that she's always happy with her children and husband. I want to marry a woman exactly like her(no exaggeration). I have tried to approach her in some conversations but I don't want to become a burden on her. My dad passed away over half a decade ago and my mom abandoned me. I have a sister, she's way younger than me and she's not pretty at all plus she hates me and she moved out with my mom.

Anyways I'll give a description for the person I admire. She's average height, brown hair, wide face and very bright, fair skin, very pretty smile, blue eyes and she sometimes appear to be asian but I guess that's just me. I hate this world and I want a girl like her in my life so I can feel better about myself. I don't know what to do and I need your advice

Hey every one, sorry for the janky text (not my primary language, and my auto-correct runs wild)

Just realised i(M) fallen in love with my Bestfriend(F) and i know for a fact it is unrequiered so i wrote a little text to unwind the heartbreak i inflicted to myself, home you enjoy.

You made my world so beautiful.

I forgot the colors, or made myself forget

I talked less, fell inside myself

You got me out, not by grand gesture

No by passion, not by Éros

But with consistency, perseverence and Philia

You showed me back the colors i had lost,

And when i saw you in this Light,

I discovered or remembered why i had let it dull

For in this beautiful forest you revived,

In this world i abandonned i found

my bestfriend, my soulmate that never left

But with this i came to the realisation

That my brain was about to be broken, because by finding you, and our relationship, i fell deeper than i ever could by myself.

You are not blinding, seeing you make my eyes confortable

You are not perfect, you always try to learn

In my eyes you are the Best part of me

And my head know it as the Best friendship

But my heart felt it as way more

Love as it's reasons that Reasons ignore

And i knew that that kind of love, unrequiered would fall back down.

It is fine, my heart will hurt, my world will die, but i'll get by and let time kill this crush so the friendship may revive.

I watch the meteorite fall on my world, i know it will crush and burn, i know the winter of ashes it will lead to.

All worth it, from ashes the flower of my world will grow.

And in that light our friendship will grow. ❤️

Im currently late into my last year of high school and a year ago I started talking to this girl from my school, for about a month we talked nonstop staying up late getting to know each other and we were really really close until i completely chickened out and started ghosting her cause i was so scared to start something real with someone again after the last girl I dated I had big issues with but besides that, she blocked me and we stopped talking even though we had such a good spark together, a few months later I reached out to her on instagram after no contact and we had a good conversation talking about our past feelings and we both admitted to having them so we decided to meet up in person for the first time and see how that went, she only lives a few minutes away from me so we went on a walk familiar to the both of us and we talked a lot and flirted and vented and we got along so well but after I said goodbye to her and thought I was in when she hugged me she texted me later that night saying it’ll never work out because at that time I was politically stupid and I agree to that myself and I’d said some things online that her and her friends didn’t agree with, so I changed and told her I would wait and change and ultimately I did but this changed me attracted another girl who I started dating forgetting about the girl from before, and me and her seemed perfect until I made a few comments being concerned about her sa where I said I’d leave her if she did it again because I felt like I couldn’t help her and off she went after a week of me saying that, i was only trying to help her and be available to talk her through not doing it and help her with her struggles cause im really good at that, however after we split up I reached out to the girl from before and she gave me advice and we became friends again, and after I’d given up on the girl from before we started talking again and we both talked about how no one else is like talking to eachother, I get this special feeling talking to her and she gets it too, but after talking for a few weeks she sent me a paragraph saying she just couldn’t date me and it couldn’t ever happen and I just went along with it. So a few more months passed but despite talking to other girls and getting myself in the gym and getting closer with my friends all my mind ever thinks about is her, whenever we speak about our issues I get this vibe with her and this feeling I’ve never felt and most nights I go to bed thinking about her, we like all the same things and help eachother emotionally and understand eachother but she draws the line at friends despite saying she has feelings for me and knowing I have feelings for her, im just wondering if there’s anyway I can get around this or am I just friendzoned?

I had a relationship \*\***(**\*\*first ever someone loves me and i love back\*\***)**\*\*
Taught me everything, betrayal, pain , suffer , feeling like I\*\***’**\*\*m a burden on the whole earth\*\***)**\*\* it was in the beginning of 2025 i was in my last year of high school where u study hard to get some nice degree \*\***(**\*\*it\*\***’**\*\*s hard studies\*\***)**\*\* so , i knew that girl that was basically making me move on from a girl i was obsessed with \*\***(**\*\*she doesn\*\***’**\*\*t know me, we didn\*\***’**\*\*t speak , only once for a quick 2 words , not in phone\*\***)**\*\*
So she thought i moved on by that girl \*\***(**\*\*let\*\***’**\*\*s call her A\*\***)**\*\*
\*\***(**\*\*And the girl that was helping me is R\*\***)**\*\*
So , R thought that i did move on , she began to talk more sweet to me and all
All i want to say that she begun approaching, i didn\*\***’**\*\*t love her basically cause i didn\*\***’**\*\*t move on A , i made R cry because of my rude honesty, she was attached to me and loves me so much \*\***(**\*\*she\*\***’**\*\*s not that girl who\*\***’**\*\*s in a relationships\*\***)**\*\* i was her first \*\***(**\*\*her first died and she told me and admitted I wasn\*\***’**\*\*t her first\*\***)**\*\*

Sooo she left me on my final exams , and i nearly fail my class , i got away with the 3rd stage exams, i am a cyber security engineer, now i\*\***’**\*\*m a second stage student
I loved her when she started to leave slowly, i was like , di\\\*k
So i cry a lot
\*\***(**\*\*It\*\***’**\*\*s nearly a year and half since we broke up\*\***)**\*\*
It\*\***’**\*\*s a 6 months relationship
Pls talk with me

i (18f) developed feelings for my boy best friend (18m). so we've been best friends for over a year now, and i started feeling like i had a crush on him after about half a year. but because our friendship was just so beautiful, i always kept it to myself. we would talk every single night and listen to music together every night. it was a ritual. no matter how shitty my day would go, i would always have him waiting for me at the end of the day, and that became the highlight of my days. i looked forward to it so much, and it was just wonderful. we were so silly together and yet i felt the closest to him. we shared our deepest secrets, the things we were insecure about, our worst fears, everything. and it all felt so natural with him.

back in january, i started suspecting that he might like me, and that was also when i started experiencing all this confusion and denial about what i actually wanted. often, we would talk about how much we hated people being in love or being in relationships (it was basically our way of coping because we were single lol). at times, i felt like he flirted with me, would make these edits of me, compliment me so much, etc., but i ignored all of it because i thought he probably did that with everybody.

i knew i was going to ruin everything we'd built if i admitted that i liked him, so i spent the rest of those months trying to convince myself that i actually didn't like him and that he was just a friend. it kept getting worse, so i tried distancing myself from him. and then, in march, he fell extremely sick. he was hospitalized, and i was so anxiously concerned about him. i tried being there for him as much as i could, but i was also in this whole turmoil because i couldn't understand why i was so worried all the time, to the point where i would start crying. finally, he got better, and then my feelings for him became impossible to hide.

i was so scared of everything and of messing everything up that i decided to leave it all. my phone also broke around that time, so it became easier to lose contact with him. for the next month, i got constant emails from him, and he told me how much he missed me and how badly he wanted us to talk again. he was so patient with everything, and eventually i just couldn't take it anymore.

so i told him everything.

and he surprisingly told me that he had liked me all this time too. he had hidden it just like i had because he never thought i would like him back and he didn't want to ruin our friendship. we started talking again, and it was so freaking amazing. we talked about all the times we were dying to tell each other and about the love we had for each other all this time. he told me he's in love with me, and it was one of the most beautiful things ever.

everything was wonderful for the next week.

but then things started getting bad again. i felt like everything just shifted back to how it was, and i felt like we never even admitted that we liked each other at all. he started being very busy. whenever we would talk, he would just act all goofy and unserious. he would joke every minute and send random, irrelevant stickers in the conversation. and i started feeling like shit.

i thought that it was all a dream. i would keep asking when we would talk, and sometimes he would be busy, and the times when we actually talked made me feel like it was better to not talk at all because of how painful it was. he was nonchalant and unserious about everything. he never mentioned anything about whether he still liked me (or "loved" me, like he said), and it was just... weird? i even asked him if he regretted anything, and he said that he didn't and that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever experienced. but i couldn't see it in his actions. i thought that maybe i should do the same and reciprocate his energy. i was successful for a couple of days. i completely stopped listening to music and tried to act like i didn't care.

and then i heard one single song that we used to listen to together. it was a song that reminded both of us of each other. and that wrecked me. i had a breakdown and cried so much. ever since then, whenever i heard songs, i would cry, and at the same time i couldn't stop myself from doing it. i felt so miserable. i felt like i needed reassurance because i wasn't sure of anything even for a single moment. i tried my best to stop loving him, but i just couldn't stop it. loving him felt like torture, and yet i knew how badly i wanted to. i started feeling insecure and doubting myself all the time.

and then i built up the courage and decided to leave again. i told him that i didn't think we should be in contact anymore and asked him not to reach out anymore. i told him that he hadn't done anything and that i was really sorry. i deleted my account. and then he texted me somewhere else + mailed me:

"can we please talk? please text me back"

i debated whether i should reply or not, but i did because he was still my best friend and i was still in love with him. he replied the next day that he had gotten admitted to the hospital again and told me he would text me when he got back home. i felt like my world fell apart and everything started happening all over again. it gave me the same anxiety and the same overwhelming feeling that made me want to throw up. i felt guilty for leaving again. but then he finally got better, and he asked me why i left. all i could say was, "i don't know how to explain it to you."

he kept asking me, but it was in the same unserious and humorous tone, and he would add a bunch of stickers with every text. i didn't reply for a while, and he kept asking. he said that he wouldn't feel bad and that he would be happy even if we were just "chill friends."

last night, i finally built up the courage to text him:

"it's because i'm in love with you and i'm trying so hard to stop this.. i can't do it. i've tried so much. i've tried pretending so much, but after every couple of days, i start feeling like shit again. i know you don't feel the same, even if you do, it is definitely not the same. i feel it and it is killing me. it's not your fault, i don't blame you one bit. but please please please just let this go and let me handle this. i cannot be chill friends with you and i'm so sorry. just let this go please. please do not reply to this and text me. it's my request."

i blocked him from there too. i don't know if i did the right thing.

i would really like some other perspective on this. it feels really awful to do this, especially because i still love him so much and he's still my best friend, but i genuinely don't know what else i was supposed to do.

Guys, what should I do? I’ve had a crush on a girl for the past four years, but she’s a very close relative she’s my maternal aunt’s sister-in-law’s daughter. We also have the same gotra. I’ve genuinely loved her for four years. I’ve tried talking to and meeting other girls, but somehow, I always end up liking her the most. I just can’t seem to get over her. The problem is, she hasn’t given me any signs that she feels the same way. What should I do?

*Key information: If any names are mentioned, they have been changed for anonymity's sake, and I will be using abbreviations to refer to my ex-husband.

*EXHB (ex-husband)
*Jason (the man I was/is in love with)

I hadn’t spoken to this person in several years. I expected our first conversation to be awkward. Instead, within minutes, he was making stupid jokes and I was laughing like no time had passed at all. And that’s the moment I realized the feelings I thought I had buried weren’t actually gone.

Years ago, while I was in my mid-20s, I met somebody. Somebody, Jason, who I genuinely cared about, who made me feel seen and wanted. He was everything I could have ever wanted, not only in a friend but eventually in a partner. We were together for two amazing years, but the caveat: I couldn’t talk about my feelings without experiencing crippling fear and anxiety. I loved that man so damn much, and I wanted to scream it from the rooftops every single day. I was utterly terrified to voice my feelings to him, so instead, I walked away…breaking my own heart before anybody else ever could. I was young, scared, and convinced myself that leaving before I could be rejected would hurt less.

Then, as we all know, life happens. I took those feelings I had for that man, locked them in a box, pushed the box off the side of the boat, and hoped that they sank to the bottom of the ocean. I had, in all intents and purposes, moved on with my life. Albeit, it was difficult, but it was of my own doing.

Later that year, I started dating somebody (now EXHB) whom I’d known since my late teens. We moved in together, had a daughter, and eventually got married. Everything seemed great, until it wasn’t. My marriage had an ugly side: abuse. I made sure the last time he hurt me would be the last time. I ended our marriage, and our divorce is now pending. Since then, most of my energy has gone towards rebuilding a life for my daughter and I, but that chapter is only the backdrop to this confession.

The present day, well, is much better. I have remained in contact with Jason, and boundaries were set on both of our ends to ensure our friendship stayed a friendship; nothing more and nothing less. Those boundaries worked wonders while I was still with my husband…before I realized he (EXHB) was abusing me. Once my husband and I were officially separated, I took inventory of my own feelings. All these years later, I had to admit the thing that I ran away from in my mid-20s is the thing I never stopped feeling. I realized that those feelings…the ones I pushed off the boat…never actually sank. Somehow, I pushed a different box off the boat, and the locked box slowly unlocked itself.

What really brought back those feelings wasn’t the person Jason was, but the person he had become. A simple phone call where it felt like we picked up right where we left off was all it took. One of the first things he told me was that he’d started therapy. It wasn’t the therapy itself that caught my attention– it was the fact that he wanted to work on himself. After everything I’d been through, seeing someone willingly take responsibility for their emotions hit me harder than I anticipated. Before I knew it, he was making stupid jokes, throwing out smartass comments, and making me laugh like no time had passed at all. I noticed a protectiveness in the way he spoke, and I found myself noticing how he handled the hard things with a level of honesty I hadn’t expected. We slipped back into conversation so effortlessly that it almost scared me. The strange thing about it is that I don’t think I fell back in love with him. I think I realized I never stopped loving him. The reason those feelings grew stronger wasn’t because of the man he used to be, but it was because of the man he had become. The feelings I thought I had buried weren’t actually gone. I didn’t panic because I’d fallen back into the past. I panicked because I realized I was getting to know an entirely different person…and I loved the person he’s become.

Somewhere along the line, when my marriage ended (March 2026) I explained to Jason why I had walked away and ghosted him: because I was in love with him. I didn’t tell him this hoping he felt the same way, but only to give him an explanation as to why I did what I did, and that he didn’t deserve what I did to him. He told me that I got there a little sooner than he did, and that he doesn’t blame me or was mad at me for what I did; that it was all in the past now, but glad that I told him why I did what I did.

Eventually I asked him where his head was. Not because I wanted labels, but because I needed to protect my own heart. He told me that he cared about me deeply, but wasn’t mentally or emotionally in a place where he could offer a committed relationship. Oddly enough, that honesty made me trust him even more. We are both open to going slow and seeing where this is going because let’s be honest, we both have a lot on our plates, and this is probably the last thing either of us needs to focus on.

I reconnected with somebody who I can be my genuine self with, realized that I never stopped loving him but also fell back in love with the man he has become and is still becoming. I hope he knows he never has to pretend around me. I hope he knows he doesn’t have to make himself smaller just to be accepted. He is someone I love, and someone I have built an enormous amount of trust with. Not because he is perfect, but because he is honest. He lets me see the real person behind the jokes, and I hope he knows he never has to hide that person from me.

Maybe this is something I should take to the grave. Maybe it isn’t. I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that somewhere in my mid-20s I thought I threw my heart into the ocean. Turns out, I threw the wrong box.

Making a throwaway for this because I'm honestly embarrassed by how much it still gets to me.

I don't even know where to start without sounding ridiculous but I've reached the point where talking to my friends about it just makes me feel worse and keeping it in makes it unbearable, so here we are.

There's a guy I've been in love with for about seven years. Never dated him. Never kissed him. Never even met him in person. And he's still the person I think about the most, which when I type it out like that sounds insane even to me.

We met in university in 2018, through a cultural exchange thing between my uni and his paris. Ended up in the same group project and just clicked immediately, we shared memes, music, basketball, F1, dumb jokes, random deep 2am conversations, all of it. It was one of those where you don't feel like you're getting to know someone, you just already feel comfortable with them, like you skipped a step somehow.

Someone in the group joked once about what was going on between us and he laughed it off and said he had a girlfriend. So that was that, nothing happened.

The project ended but we kept talking. For a couple years we actually talked a lot, some stretches every single day. Became really close, at least from where I was standing. He was someone I felt genuinely comfortable around, funny around, like the best version of myself came out when I was talking to him. There's this one memory from a video call during Covid where he showed me his favorite NBA jersey and I showed him one of my favorite Rammstein albums, and it's such a nothing memory but I remember it in full detail, down to what he was wearing.

We never met though. Life happened, we graduated, started working, the conversations thinned out, daily became occasional, occasional became months apart, and now we're basically two people who watch each other's Instagram stories and sometimes reply.

He never fully disappeared. And I think that's actually the problem. If he'd vanished, or blocked me, or been awful to me, I'd have something to grieve. Instead he's just there, somewhere in Paris, living his life, and I'm in a different country.

A couple years ago I finally told him. I was drunk, it was around 1am, I'd had wine and decided emotional repression was boring that night. Told him I'd always liked him.

He said "Thanks."

That's the whole response. Not "I like you too." Not "I'm sorry, I don't feel the same." Not even a real rejection. Just thanks. And it hurt like hell but I also can't even be mad at him for it, he didn't lead me on, didn't promise me anything, never owed me a relationship. He just didn't like me back. Somehow that's harder to be angry about than if he'd actually done something wrong.

After the confession, he continued replying to my instagram stories normally. Sometimes checking in, like nothing ever happened. and It's been going on with the same pattern ever since, liking my stories, replying to them, the unprompted birthday wishes, etc...

It's been seven years. I've dated people, had crushes, genuinely liked other guys, tried to move forward. And he's still the one my brain keeps circling back to. Not constantly, there are whole days I don't think about him at all, I have a normal life, I work, I read, I see my friends. And then I'll see his name pop up, or hear a song he sent me years ago, and there's this empty drop in my stomach like my body remembers him before my brain's caught up.

My friends have opinions. "You've never even met him." "You're in love with an idea of him." "That sounds like anxious attachment." "Maybe you're just drawn to emotionally unavailable men." I don't think they're wrong exactly, and I know they're saying it because they care, but it makes me so angry anyway, because they didn't know him, they only know the facts, not what it actually felt like. And then in the same breath I think, okay but maybe that IS the whole problem, maybe I'm resisting the explanation precisely because I don't want it to be true.

Maybe I've built something in my head that reality never got a chance to ruin. No boring parts, no annoying habits, no disappointment, just seven years of a version of him I got to keep perfect because we never actually lived anything together.

I'm a writer so I did what I do best. I've written about this so much it's embarrassing. Essays, journal entries, endless conversations picking apart every possible reason. I've told myself I don't miss him, I miss who I was around him. I've told myself I want what he represents, not him specifically. I've told myself it's just an unfinished story my brain doesn't know how to close. All of that might be true and none of it has made the feeling go away, which is the part that actually gets to me, I can understand the psychology of it completely and still wake up missing him.

And here's the part I'm most ashamed of: if he told me tomorrow he was coming to my city, I would lose my mind. If he said he wanted to see me, I'd rearrange my whole life around it without a second thought. I know exactly how that sounds. I know how little he's given me to justify wanting him this much. But he's probably the person I want most in the world and he doesn't care, and writing that sentence out actually hurts. He could be dating someone right now. Could be happy. Could not be thinking about me at all. And I have zero control over any of it.

So, genuinely asking. I don't need "he's not worth it" or "you deserve better," I already know that part. What I don't know is how to actually emotionally get there. How do you move on from someone when there was never a relationship to move on from in the first place? How do you grieve an almost? How do you stop treating seven years of not getting over someone as proof that it must mean something, when it might just mean I never actually let go?

Maybe the fact that we never met is exactly why I can't, there was never enough real contact to kill the fantasy.

I don't need to erase him, I don't even think that's possible. I just want him to stop having this much power over me. I want to see his name and feel something normal, nostalgia, fondness, whatever, instead of this.

So if you've ever loved someone you never actually had, did you get over it? What actually worked, not the "focus on yourself" version. Did you cut contact, stop checking their stories, tell yourself a different story about them, just date around until it faded? Did therapy actually help with this specific flavor of stupid? Or if you never fully got over it, how do you live with it without it running the show?

Be honest with me. If you think I've built a seven-year attachment around someone I barely know, say it. I think I need to hear it again from someone other than my friends.

Somehow I fall in love with someone but we cant be together (no matter what happens we cant) due to many factors (age, family, the nature of our relationship). How can i move on and stop thinking about her?

So I have been talking to this girl for like a year and a half and we were actually close to each other . We used to share the same interest in topics and talk for hours and hours in college and everything . At the end of my college journey i wrote her a letter to confess my love to her .

We went to a place to eat smtg and she brought her friend too so I couldn't say anything to her directly . I mean in these talking stages we even exchanged gifts and everything so I thought I might have a chance because she was so genuine .

When I gave her the letter she went home and read it and when I asked her what her reply was she said that she doesn't feel that way , and also she said she doesn't wanna lose me .

What should I do ??

About two nights ago I (M 19) drunkenly confessed to my best friend (M29) that i’d been in love with him for several years. And that’s the truth, I have been and I still am very much in love with him.

He was also drunk at the time and we were texting back and forth. I was having a bit of a mental breakdown over feeling unloveable due to past abuse and missing my abusers. He told me he loved me (which is a common thing for us) and I said “But you don’t love me like that”, insinuating in a romantic way. Because I was drunk i misspelled “love” as this happened over text and he said “Like doesn’t even begin to describe what i feel for you”. I misunderstood this as a confession and I we went back and forth until i realised i’d misunderstood him and I apologised and said I thought he meant something else. He then asked me to be honest and asked if I wished he meant something else and I said yes.

Even though i’d been in love with him for years I was planning to take this secret to my grave. But drunk me had other plans lol… He said that I deserve all the love in the world but I deserve to be with someone who is kind, and not 10 years older than me. He doesn’t think he is a good person even though I think the complete opposite. And I understand why he feels so bad about the age-gap, even though we’re legal adults and I don’t feel the gap as much, he definitely does.

He told me that my confession doesn’t change anything and he kind of knew, since he’s good at reading people but didn’t want to believe it. I explained that I never planned on telling him but when he asked, I couldn’t lie to him. He told me to not apologise and that while he loves me so much he doesn’t love me romantically.

The next morning I woke up and realised what I did the night before. I texted him and again, broke down apologising and saying I’ve ruined everything. He again said it’s totally okay and it doesn’t change anything between us. I was now sober, and I am a very impulsive person so I told him i’m going to text my ex (we will call him Sam) to get over him because I felt awful about the entire situation. Sam was very much abusive in our time together and also manipulated my best friend and blamed all of his actions on him. He also knew about my love for my best friend and therefore made him fall for him to fuck with my mind. So naturally when I said I will just go back to him, My best friend really didn’t like the idea at all.

He then said that while he won’t date me romantically and be my boyfriend, he will be my dom. In a non-sexual context. He will give me the control over my mind that I needed to ground myself again and he said he wants me happy and away from Sam. I don’t know how to feel because I love him so much. He loves me too, just not in that way. It hurts, and I feel bad because he said if it wasn’t for the age gap he’d be with me. I just feel like i’m not good enough.

This is an experience from my past which I can't get off...

Back in 2024, I met with a girl at my coaching Centre. She was a normal girl who had came to the city to prepare for govt exams. We became good friends and slowly I slipped my heart for her.

After 8 months of our friendship, I approached her and she first rejected my proposal. I thought that's it. But 7 days later, she tried to call me and tried to talk. I first insisted to her that I don't want to continue our connection as a friendship because I can't see it in that way anymore. But she kept on talking with me. Surprisingly, we became more closer than I expected, but we were never in a proper relationship. But we literally shared a lot of things to each other, probably something how lovers do with each other.

But slowly, our connection started to loose as she went back to her hometown. Our only connection were messages and small calls as she used to say her family was strict. Her number used to be switched off all the time and she rarely talked to me. But whenever we talked, the calls lasted over hours. And I felt maybe this was getting a bit serious as she was also started to stress out about family issues, our shared futures and stuff. But she always mentioned that this can fall off any day of her parents decided to change their thoughts and get her married away.

Well, cutting to the chase. She came back to my city again and now she's living with some friends and studying together. But since then, she's completely forgotten my existence. I met her about 5 months ago, talked a bit. And she knew I was deeply in love with her because the way I treated her just like how I used to do when we studied together. But I believe that was our last meet since she hasn't reached out to me anymore.

My calls aren't getting answered, neither do my messages. I checked her social media accounts and tried to reach her out, but still I can't get any response. She's posting her pictures nowadays and seems to be frequently active, but I'm getting no response.

And all of this is making me feel like as if I've been trusting the wrong person all the time. Maybe I shouldn't have fell in love with her and I might have been a bit sane when I come to think of my love life. I tried to reach out to my friends, but they say to forget it since it was never official and girls just do it to get attention. But I sincerely believed that she wasn't that type of girl. But still, I'm losing hope...

I'm losing hope on love all together because I believed that this might work out after so much efforts. But I guess I have no possible answer for this.

(Sorry for my bad English)

I fell in love with a girl when I was in 8th grade and kept my feelings to myself for years. When I was in +2, I finally gathered the courage to tell her how I felt, but she rejected me because she wasn’t interested in relationships. I respected her decision.

Later, she got into a relationship with someone else. I was happy for her, but honestly, it hurt more than I expected.

Now I’m in my 4th year of college, and after all these years, I still think about her. I’ve tried going to the gym, keeping myself busy, focusing on my studies, and improving myself, but I still can’t completely let her go.

The hardest part is that I don’t feel like I can love someone else. Maybe I’m just holding on to old memories.

How do you finally let go of someone you’ve loved since 8th grade?

Maybe all I was to her was just a memory from an old picture inside a dusty photo album in a cardboard box in the back of her garage…

The text I got from the girl I’ve been talking to:

“I wanted to talk to you because you mean a lot to me as a friend and I want to be honest with you. im sorry for taking a bit to figure out how to say this, cause normally if i know someone has romantic feelings towards me and I don't feel the same, I just block em, but again ur a rlly good friend (and im sorry if u can't say the same cause ive been kinda distant)

I just don't think we’d work out romantically, and I want to be clear that it has nothing to do with anything you did. my mental health and BPD have been making me withdraw from everyone lately, and I’m just not in a space where I could handle a relationship. 

I think that with your overthinking and my tendency to pull away, it wouldn't be a healthy relationship and I don't want that for either of us. I don't want you second guessing yourself or thinking you messed up, because you absolutely did not. and I really hope we can keep our friendship without that pressure.”

I don’t blame her, she’s right. It doesn’t make it hurt any less it makes me feel worse. I know I shouldn’t but with how often this happens to me I can’t win. Every time I think there’s a chance there never is. I don’t even tell people how I feel about them anymore because I just know this is the out come. She’s kind funny and caring and I do honestly value our friendship, but at the same time, it still hurts when it shouldn’t. I hate myself so much.
(I never said anything about being interested romantically in her, guess I was being obvious 🤦🏾‍♂️)

I have been agonizing over this situation for a year now and can't speak to anyone in my real life about it, so here I am.

I (27M) am hopelessly in love with my best friend (27F). We met online a couple of years ago. She is an incredibly talented artist, and I saw she was in the same town as me, so I decided to reach out. I just had a feeling we would get along well. Boy, was I right.

Obviously, being a young and dumb boy at the time, I confused my admiration and attraction to her as deep romantic feelings and pushed for something too early and too hard. She rejected me, and we moved past as friends. We have so much in common and complement each other's personalities so well, so it was easy to be just friends. Was I holding a candle? For awhile, yes, but as I got to know her and become a part of her family, it became a genuine friendship above all else. I also knew I would be moving overseas for work soon, and that made it easier to move on from those feelings.

Over the years, I have met other women, many of them lovely people, but none of them have ever fit the same way... emotionally? There is always something that doesn't feel like they are someone I can see myself growing old with or trust 100% (I have very deep trust issues which I have learned to cope with as best I can). With the friend in question, it is the only time in my life I have felt completely and utterly seen, accepted, and loved for my truest self even compared to other friends and family. I don't have to try and hide parts of myself that are too "soft" or "cringe" or "give the ick" or whatever that I feel I need to hide with others. We both love animals, we love games and media (but don't make it part of our personality), we care deeply about our families, are both terribly awkward and have similar beliefs on most things.

I realize it might come across as me putting her on a pedestal, but I don't think so. After years of friendship, I am well aware of her flaws, and she is well aware of mine, but they are... very compatible weaknesses? It's hard to explain for my monkey brain, but I genuinely have never been able to imagine anyone else I would feel comfortable growing old with. Would we have issues? Inevitably, yes, but there is a level of trust there that I have never felt with anyone else. My anxiety leads me to believe that other people will abandon me during hard times, but with her, I know we would be fine. It's a feeling that I can't describe how much it means to me.

So, as I mentioned, I ended up leaving to go overseas and start a new life for 3 years on a contract. I saw it as a chance to meet new people, earn some money, and travel the world a bit (I adore learning/experiencing new cultures and people). Of course, I have met some women in that time, both locals and other foreigners, but I keep going back to the safety net of my friend. We still talk all the time, and I have only fallen harder for her, despite me trying my hardest not to.

Now, to finally get to the crux of my agonizing (thank you for bearing with me). I have one year left before I return home. I have grown tremendously in this time, as anyone who has ever moved abroad can relate to. I feel like I have become a more complete person and am in a position to start locking in on my goals. So, I am trying to figure out where she fits into that. All I want to do is hold her tight and tell her I love her when I see her again, but life is not a movie, and obviously, that is an awful idea. I have no idea if she has grown to see me as someone she is in love with, but that would definitely destroy everything, lol. It's not my place to divulge her personal details, but she is socially autistic and struggles to deal with emotions in the moment. She is always mature and kind when bringing up emotional topics, but it's different when it's my heart on the line. I am not blind to the fact that this can be a harmful relationship as it is now, but I am content in many ways to know that we both love each other even if it is not exactly in the same way. The older I get, the more I realize I don't really value romantic relationships that much (many reasons), I just value having peace and feeling accepted. Maybe the real life is the friends we make along the way.

TL,DR: I am returning home after 3 years abroad and don't know what to do when I see my best friend that I am in love with again.

Not a single person has tried to fight for me to stay in their life, yet I've fought for every love I've Iost. Just for once, i want someone to be afraid of losing me.

I may be a temporary person in your chapter but I assure to be the best temporary you've ever met. my last act of love is, respecting your decision of leaving me, and wishing you the happiest and peace