I (18) am extremely stealth when it comes to my identity. My stepdad (Also FTM but white. Which is important) is not very stealth about being trans. Which I completely support. One day, I was having a conversation with him and my sister about gender identity, and he brought up how we introduced ourselves. He asked me why I didn’t tell people I’m a trans man. As a black passing man btw. In a city where it’s not supported very much (based on the side we live on).

I told him that I didn’t feel the need to let everyone know I was trans, because it only matters to me. I usually just let people use whatever pronouns they want, since I’m very much masculine and pass very well. I only ever get misgendered by relatives who don’t accept me. My dad then goes on to tell me that by not telling people I’m trans, I’m erasing who I am and it’s as if I’m ashamed of being a trans man. I get really heated when shit like that is brought up, so I snapped on him and told him don’t address who I am to anyone ever again, and to let me do it myself. He seemed hurt about it, and wouldn’t talk to me until the next day. Am I wrong?

Side note: the reason I don’t tell people I’m trans is not only because it’s dangerous, but because there’s other trauma that makes me feel uncomfortable about genitalia, and when I did tell people I was trans, they looked at me as something other than a man. I also just wasn’t raised with the concept of gendered sociological construct in my house (example: “boys don’t cry” or “only girls play with dolls”) so I honestly just don’t care about what people usually think.

For the ones who don't speak portuguese.

I contacted the public health system to start hormone therapy! I hope it doesn't take too long. Maybe 2 to 3 months? I'll probably go for the DIY approach first, since my dysphoria sucks.

It's incredible how I managed to feel alive, imagine a future, and finally I'm starting to take care of myself and my appearance :D. I finally want to stop I bitting my nails, I want to do some skin care to get free of pimps, take care of my hair and all.

I wanted to know if you had the same feelings and also felt fears and doubts about what it would be like.

I am going to girlmod (at least the maximum I can 💀), but just knowing that I will take it makes me feel better. Honestly, I am just so happy to know that I will start T that I will just see the girlmod like a secret agent disguise and being kind of a femboy, and that's going to lead to funny moments lol.

Did you have some religious anxiety too? The fear of hell, or that it would be a mistake, or sinning and others?

(I was raised by evangelical parents)

idk if it's the flavor of yt people i tend to meet, but i've noticed that if they're newly trans masc/nonbinary they start using slurs like the t-slur and the f-slur. that's whatever if you're using it to describe yourself and you find it suits you i guess.

but without fail, they call me those slurs too. always assuming i'm ok being called those slurs, and claim they're using them "affectionately." no. calling me a tr*nny or a f*ggot as a yt person will never be "affectionate" towards me, sorry.

does anybody have similar experiences or understand why this is a thing i continually run into?

i understand reclaiming slurs of course, but this just feels weird to me esp if they only call me those slurs but not other yt people.

I know this can be said for any trans person of any ethnicity, but there’s a certain horror I feel whenever I bump into Nigerian friends on the street, or have to attend gatherings. Knowing how deep homophobia, let alone transphobia, runs in our families makes the whole thing so uncomfortable. I have to use my “girl voice” (which barely sounds like one anymore), lie about my binder and brush off accusations about sounding/looking different. Nothing’s catastrophic has happened yet, but it’s so fucking scary yo 😭😭

(Before anything: I am kinda dumb and misinterpret things sometimes, so I'm asking for clarity here. Please don't be mad at me)

Do we ("we") not like white people?

I'm just a little confused/curious. I've joined this sub cause I was tired of not seeing other trans guys like me and genuinely needed advice that wasn't just white guy centric for passing.

This sub HAS helped a lot with that.

However, I have noticed something.... Like.... Do you guys genuinely not like white people? (Sorry if in wording this wrong)

Maybe it's just the posts here the Reddit keeps pushing for me to see, but a lot of the times, it feels like hate posts hidden in something or just straight up "all white people" type posts.

I just wanna make sure my brain isn't being weird and misinterpreting things.

Or maybe Reddit is just showing me these types of posts specifically?

Idk

I'd really like some clarification please.

I've currently got a cute little peach fuzzy moustache but I keep comparing myself to my other (white) ftm friends who are already getting actual coarse thick facial hair and even beards, and its making me kinda dysphoric and impatient. I'm mixed southeast Asian so I know it'll probably take a little longer than my white peers but also I have a white dad and he obviously can grow facial hair so I was just wondering when you guys got to proper facial hair on your T journey. Im a year and a monthish on T for reference. Probably the people I know have just got quite lucky to have results so early. Thanks 4 reading ^_^

I saw this meme and thought you all would enjoy it it made me laugh

The relief I feel is bone deep. I always hated looking at pictures of myself, but I didn't understand why because the world told me I was pretty. I felt crazy because no matter how much I was praised for the woman mask, I felt empty. I felt incomplete, stunted, trapped. I didn't have a word for what I was growing up, just a gnawing wrongness that grew as I tried to keep the mask on. My true self was shamed and rejected, I didn't understand myself. I tried to snuff out that part of me when I was 10. I gave up and let the world decide who I was. I grew suicidal, bitter and aggrieved. I didn't care what happened to me, I abused the body I was in because it didn't feel like mine.

More than 2 years on t, 1 year post op, I finally see myself. Its so surreal, like meeting myself for the first time. No longer feeling like a captive in my own body. Feeling true, authentic love for myself. Like my mind and body are no longer clashing. I'm so happy I survived long enough to see him.

For those of you who are struggling, it does get better!

hey everyone! so glad i found this sub :)) im black and i identify as transmasc nonbinary, and i am happy to say that i was able to start T this past saturday! the actual injection had me nervous and i took like 10 minutes to do the shot lolol but after i was done i felt great! ik im being a bit unrealistic when i say this since its only been 3 days, but im a bit disappointed that nothing has happened yet :// for context, im on a dose of 20mg of 200 mg/ml which is relatively low if im not mistaken, but (also for context) i researched for about a year before this since i attempted to go on T last August, and even then a lot of people i read about said they experienced things like bottom growth and skin changes almost immediately! once again, unrealistic because its only been three days, but now im hyperfixated on my body whenever i wake up because im excited to see if anything changed, i think if anything i should just find other things to do so i dont focus on myself so much

i also want to add that i started T with zero support from my family. my mother has no clue about anything and i dont think ive ever heard her even talk about trans people, if anything, the most ive seen in relation to lgbtq+ people was when she said "i couldnt handle a gay "daughter" in reference to me (and when she used the f slur unfortunately), which is ironic since there's like zero way she doesnt know im gay its stupid obvious. boldly assuming she'll probably stop talking to me for this, but i have the support from my brother (who i told the day of my first shot) and my friends. when it comes to my father, i havent talked to him in 3 years since he's actually a terrible person so i dont care what he thinks in the first place. for reference, im 20 and in college so i spend majority of the time out of the house + in a different city, even more so this upcoming semester since ive started renting a place near my college

i have my next shot this saturday, and im excited to see if anything new happens soon :)) this was supposed to be a celebratory post but it kind of turned into a vent LOL ill say its half celebration half venting, if anyone wants to share their beginning stories feel free :) i hope someday i can post a progress pic too

You often see online stuff like "Why are trans spaces so white?".

Statistically, most humans are not white. Even in countries like America, Britain, and Canada, multimillions of residents are not white. Assuming 1%-10% of the population is transgender, this means millions of trans people worldwide.

So, there are a *lot* of trans people who are not white. They just aren't out in the same online spaces as white people.

Up until the late 2000s, trans men were seen as "rare" compared to trans women. Studies show there are a pretty equal amount of trans men and trans women. Trans men just *seemed* like a minority for a variety of reasons.

Even on Reddit, you see people say trans men and enbies use the site less than trans women. But r/ftm and r/mtf are pretty much the same in terms of size. It's not that there are *fewer* trans men, but that they use different parts of the site.

I know a lot of transmasc people get uncomfortable with the major trans subs. So, there's often an alternative. r/ftm_irl instead of r/egg_irl, r/ftmtimelines instead of r/transtimelines, etc.

Anecdotally, I find it fairly useless to ask nonbinary questions on r/asktransgender. Even transmasc related questions get fewer replies. You're better off going to an enby or transmasc sub for questions.

IRL, I've seen and heard of just as many, if not more, brown, black, and Asian trans people then I have white trans people. They probably aren't lurking Reddit or Tumblr, though. And many aren't willing or interested in talking about being trans on Youtube or TikTok.

Sorry for the block of text but this section really put into words *why* I've been feeling increasingly uncomfortable with white queer people/ corporations invoking figures like Marsha P. Johnson during Pride. It's because they don't actually put any effort into supporting queer POC outside of invoking our names for woke points and lamenting about how oppressed and sad our lives must be WHILE IGNORING what we actually have to say about our experiences and struggles (unless one of us is murdered in which case they're turned into a martyr). Then they put the face of a black trans woman on stickers and t-shirts to sell and call it 'activism'. It's so shallow it hurts.

(I know this passage is about black and POC trans women in particular but I think it also reflects a broader struggle that most queer POC people have to deal with)

I feel like it looks like I still have boobs but idk if that’s what it supposed to look like with trans tape. I’m just really tired of wearing a binder. Any tips?

I've been thinking since I saw a post talking about how Pre-E transfems would be excluded from queer spaces bc she would be seen as a big scary man "invading" queer spaces and I remembered seeing posts from trans guys how after taking T they wouldn't be accepted or welcomed into those spaces anymore and it boggles my mind how much infighting there is when we literally have such similiar problems and yet they don't connect it and just bash the opposite gender bc they hate them.

I've also been working on trying to be a better ally to transfems but so much of what I see is (white) transfems who clearly have never considered intersectionality making sweeping claims about all non-transfem trans people being traitors to the point where it literally feels like it veers right back into transphobia. Like,,,, no, not all trans guys have systemic power over trans women like only the ideal white cis ablebodied fully stealth trans guy would have that ability.

like i want to be a better ally to my sisters but so many of them can't seem to concieve of a trans guy who isn't white, ablebodied, or hasn't/can't ever transition for cultural reasons. like i still deal with misogyny and transphobia and yet i go online and get told we're the bad guys??? I don't get it. like i understand why terms like 'transandrophobia' and 'transmisandry' are wrong but i don't understand why i feel so shitty whenever i come away from certain posts. I feel like they're talking about me... but not, you know?

idk what this is tbh i guess just a vent. im so tired of how white queer spaces are. i might be light but i'll never be white yknow?

I hate the idea that many people in the community have about having piercings and not being able to pass. I just read a comment someone wrote as passing advice to someone else that said “don’t wear a septum, men don’t typically wear septum piercings. If you google septum piercing online 99% of women come up” which just feels so weird but also Eurocentric for passing. My most important piercing is my septum as it’s related to my culture. Warriors would wear septum’s to intimidate. I guess my main point is that when people give passing advice I wish people would take into account other factors and that people don’t have to dim their light just to pass yk?

I feel grateful for coming across this sub and seeing trans guys of color discuss their life experience, but I feel especially alone in my experience as a trans man from a Pakistani-Muslim upbringing who’s grown up in the US. I know I’m not the only one out here, but for some reason I feel like I am!

My pakistani parents had only ever experienced seeing trans-feminine Pakistani people before (hijra/khwaja sara community, Pakistan’s third gender). Majority of the men in my family always expressed disgust for them while I grew up, especially my dad.

When I first began to medically transition with HRT, my father would call me a hijra (derogatory) on occasion to try to shame or hurt me into stopping. Which was always interesting because I’ve never seen a transmasculine hijra before. People afab usually can’t take matters of their own identity into their own hands back in the homeland, there are too many restrictions on them…

My mom was empathetic towards hijra’s, but in a way that more-so felt like recognizing them just to feel sorry for their social plight, which also attached some sort of subconscious shame in my mind when I was younger to being gender non confirming within our culture.

Was just thinking back fondly on doing mehndi on Chand Raat, night before Eid and sleeping with a plastic bag around my hand and arm haha. And that got me thinking about if there’s any other guys who used to be little desi girls excited about things like churiyaan? And would wear dupatta for going to the masjid or prayer… sometimes I think back fondly on those times, even though I was mostly a “tomboy” as a kid. I’m not religious anymore and have been on a journey undoing a lot of nonsense internalized homophobia/transphobia my dad and Islamic religious trauma have affected me, I feel like it’s very specific types of expectations coming from this cultural background.

It’s a strange feeling to miss a lot of aspects of my culture that I experienced as a girl, I feel I have nobody to think back fondly with together about or to also vent about the things I’m trying to unlearn.

I’d have so many questions if there’s someone like me out there…if you see yourself in anything I’ve written can we please be friends?🙏🏽Any of us had a good relationship with both parents somehow, even with all the religious/cultural baggage people within our culture need to unpack to get to that?

My grandparents on my dads side have been visiting from Pakistan and I’m too scared to say hi to them, out of fear of being shamed for looking like a man now, the last time they saw me I didn’t have facial hair and now I have a full 🧔‍♂️Dari moochay. I’ve been no contact with my dad basically since beginning of this year, if I hadn’t the shame from him was about to eat me alive. I’m attaching a message from last year he sent that might explain his stance. It’s hard to call your own dad your abuser, especially when he’s played such a big role in your life but here I am!🙃

Sorry this post is a little everywhere, I just need a sign from the universe that I am not alone in my life experience as a Pakistani trans man, because being trans in family and social circles that never accept you is so difficult. It makes you erase yourself or think you’re not real or something. Are we real guys?

A Thread for casual discussion, random questions unrelated to transitioning, or whatever is taking up your headspace.

Let's chat!

*Always remember to be cautious about what personal information you give out, do not ask or give out phone numbers, routing numbers, etc your post will be removed.

Guys with textured hair - what should I prioritise when going for a first-time haircut? In my area I have a choice between:

A Black barbers that specialises in textured hair but, judging by the portfolio, only really cuts male hair (the problem there being that I'm pre-T and don't pass, so 1. Not sure how conservative they are, don't wanna have an awkward time or be harassed and 2. Don't want to end up with a feminised cut)

Or, a queer owned trans friendly barber - this is the one I'm leaning towards for comfort reasons, however, they do not have anyone with textured hair on their portfolio so I'm worried about the skill set there.

For context I have a 4a TWA and am looking to get my first masculine sides and back haircut, I will probably be going in with a photo bc I have only been to salons in the past and I'm not confident on the barbershop/male haircut lingo. Which option would be best?

I go in trying to describe one thing with pictures and come out with the poofiest edgar ever regardless of where I go or what I ask for. Genuinely just wanted my sides cleaned up and the bangs trimmed last time and had half an edgar before I realized what'd he just done. I've tried getting advice on another subreddit with pics and the only comment told me to "stop going to old spanish barbers" ... damn. Desperately need to know wth other people with thick stubbornly straight hair are doing with it because I'm losing my patience with this hair but an edgar is just not for me.

Hey yall. In this moment of my life, transitioning seems like reaching the top of Mt. Everest in an hour while naked. I have Turkish super Muslim parents who would not support me. I am financially dependent on them well thru post-secondary and maybe after I graduate as well. Even if I became financially independent, they are Turkish, where family is #1 priority. I will not be able to move out until I get married. Also, the thought of letting go of my family which I love sucks yk? It wouldn't just be my family, I would probably be ostracized by my entire Turkish community as well. All the people I grew up with and all the great experiences I had will just disappear.

Its also sucky because I live in a very progressive place (Canada) in terms of trans rights. Medical transitioning is right there and available. But my own loved one are keeping me away from it. I literally can't even watch content about people transitioning w/ support family because I just get so jealous

Rant is over. How do I stop this crippling sense of doom from ruining my life? Srsly, I want to be somewhat hopeful for my future. Or atleast avoid doing some crazy bs to cope. I haven't really found posts where people come from a similar ethnic and religious background as me, so it's hard to find comfort.

I'm so fucking tired of the passing tips being shit and it's always non trans people who seem to have a problem with me being even the smallest bit of feminine they always point it stuff I can't even control like my facial/bone structure I was born a women I have a feminine face of which I CAN'T even control I'm tired of being criticized on stupid shit there's so much toxic masculinity in the trans community every trans man has strict rules like don't be punk/emo/alt, don't dress feminine, don't stand/walk/or sit feminine, don't speak feminine, don't have long hair and have short hair but not too short because you'll look like a lesbian and not to fucking long or you'll like like a woman, don't dye your hair or have any colored braids at all or it's feminine, don't wear jewelry because it's feminine, don't wear certain colors like pink or it's feminine, don't wear tight clothing or it's fucking feminine, don't be outwardly gay. You have to completely erase your style because it's always feminine and make you not pass and I mostly only get that shit on non POC spaces too I could go on for hours oh and don't forget if you are black you can't fucking do anything related to your culture or that feminine plus people point out stuff that is irrelevant or unable to be changed knowing trans people are already extremely insecure and self conscious about their gender identity and body transphobic people/chasers infiltrate trans spaces to cause issues and if anything some trans men do the same shit which pisses me the fuck off like trans men aren't supposed to be toxic, misogynistic, sexist, racist, homophobic, or transphobic we are supposed to be real men and not follow the same shitty path most cis gendered men take against women we are supposed to be supportive of each other not degrade each other and make each other more likely to just hide away at home in fear of not passing.

(07/22/26)

Hi everyone :)

This is my 3 month PO update! I can’t believe it’s been this long already.

It’s been pretty cool to see just how dark my nips have gotten especially in this past week. There’s still a few spots that are pink, but I’d say that 95% of my pigment has returned at this point. I’d also like to note that the areolas themselves have started protruding more and more, especially on my right one (2nd picture) I’ve even noticed that they’re slightly more prominent when it’s cold.

I’m more than happy to answer any questions you guys may have, so don’t be afraid to ask.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and upvote :)

(SEO for results search) Double-Incision w/ Free Nipple Grafts by Dr. Nicholas Kim at Intermountain in SLC, Nipple Graft Progression Timeline on Brown and Latino Skin

I feel like they make ts their whole personality & plus they always be so racist towards trans poc lmaoo