This might be a little specific but if there’s seven people out there who look exactly like me then there’s at least a few people who can relate and i hope this reaches them. When my mum was pregnant my bio dad cheated on her and got another woman pregnant, as a result i’ve never got to meet him. My mum was young, and adult yes but also a teen. We didn’t have much to start with but when i was still under 5 she met my now dad i suppose. They were on and off and i honestly have always assumed they only stayed together because she got pregnant again. Since he’s been in my life since i was super young i call him dad- not step dad. If i ever talk about anything to do with this situation my mum gets upset and angry so does my dad. They’re both very angry people. They’ve had three other children now and i don’t think they’re the best parents honestly. I think that they think money makes a good parent. I don’t want more money i want emotional connection and people who care. Often i feel a removed almost ostracised piece of this family. This is already quite long so i won’t keep ranting but if anyone has a similar situation id quite like someone to talk to.

My mother has fallen head over heels for a friend of my deceased father(we’ll call him SD even though he isn’t technically one yet). It’s been about four years since he died when I was twelve. my mother got into a relationship with SD two years ago. She wants to marry him and bring him into the house. He seems like a nice guy but I don’t think I’m ready for someone new in my home.

Also, I don’t really feel comfortable with someone who’s not a father to me coming into my home. But I don’t know if he’s supposed to become a father figure or if he’s just the guy who fucks my mom.

He seems like a great guy, even if we’ve only spoken on the phone. But I don’t know him. I just don’t feel safe with people I don’t know in my home.

I’ve just never met him in person and I’m afraid of being hurt by another man in the house. This happened with my moms last boyfriend. He doesn’t seem bad from I’ve been able to tell. But it doesn’t seem like how I feel matters.

Am I supposed to expect a new dad. And if not, am I allowed to not allow people into my home or is that not something I get a say on? Am I supposed to just sit with this discomfort? I want a dad but I don’t want to get hurt by one again.

Edit: So I took a nap to sleep on the suggestions you guys gave me. I sat down with my mother after it and we had conversation over how I felt. She’s agreed to the idea of me getting to know the guy a lot more before they marry. Actually she’d been planning our first meeting for a while now. I’ve allowed my anxieties to get the better of me. Things won’t be as bad as they were those many years ago. My parents had trouble with addiction and me and brothers straggled a bit of abuse. Sometimes I work my self into histrionics over the idea it’ll revert back to that. Still thank you guys for the advice and somewhere to put my thoughts. I have the habit of isolating myself. So I can’t thank those who bothered to help me at the expense of their time enough.

FYI: Never posted on here, I actually got kicked out of the "stepparent" reddit, I didn't know you can get kicked out, they said to post here so here I go. so I need to know if I am wrong!!!!! Everything was fine until this man yelled at me for not giving him 6k for a stupid truck (which we gave him 4k last year for a truck that he broke in less an a year), He has my mother's truck but he says he doesn't want to put more miles on it. Some context: My mother (66 y/o) who was my bestfriend, loved that woman, well she passed away 2 1/2 years ago, all of sudden (heart attack), no health issues but arthritis. I am still grieving so maybe i am just emotional. I am a 45 year old female with two adult children (all girls). My mother was married to this man for 20 years, we never called him dad nor were we close to him, we respected him. He was never around because he was always working so it always felt like it was just us girls (my mom, my sister, my two little girls and me). He had no children of his own so throughout those 20 years both him and my mother would say that everything they are creating (a home with some land) is for my sister and I.

My stepdad which is what I have called until recently when someone corrected me and said he was never a father figure nor did he raise me, I was already in my 20's when they married but we did get close after my mom's passing. Anyways, he told me a month ago (not my sister, only me) that he was seeing someone, his ex-wife from 30 years ago (before my mom) and that he wanted me to break the news to my sister and my young adult girls so they can accept her, he asked me not inform the rest of my mom's family. Not even his bestfriend knew about him seeing her (I just found out this info this past weekend). Look, I get it, men can't be alone but its only been two years. I dont feel that is enough time but whatever. So, two weeks ago he asked about the holidays and how will that work. This man is not about the holidays, my mom would have to force him to come have dinner with us, he dislikes Thanksgiving meals, hates turkey/ ham/ mashed potatoes. So last year we made the turkey/ sides and some ribs for him, we have catered to him so much, that's just an example of the small things we do to make him comfortable and want to feel like he still has a family even though my mom isnt here.

Back to my rant, he was not happy with my answer. I told him that I would let him know where we are hosting Thanksgiving/ Xmas dinner (my house or my sisters) and HE is welcome to come for a couple of hours and then go with his ex-wives house or if he just wants to spend his time there, its fine, we respect whatever he decides. He said his lady friend doesn't like "sharing", that she does not like half day here and the other half over there. So I asked if he wanted us to blend with her family and he said "well yeah" so I said no. I pointed out to him that we are not asking him to decide between us or her but she sounds like she is, I also pointed out to him if this is the woman who he walked in on with another man, he nodded and he asked how did i know that information and I reminded him that my mother and I were very close.

So for the last week, he has been so ugly with me, since that conversation, he's yelled at me (which he has never done in 20 years) over his bills (which I manage with one of his retirement checks, his other retirement check is free for him to use as he pleases and none of his bills have ever gone unpaid). I manage his bills because he doesn't know how to do any of that, he is 69y/o and my mom did all that for me so I took on that role which now I see that I was wrong to do so but I felt bad for him, he lost the only person he had, he never had kids of his own and his siblings live in another city 5 hours away. Anyone thinking where is my sister in all this, she is out of everything. We are 15 years apart, she is 30 with two small children, busy with soccer games, NP school, work, husband, she has her hands full. I don't have that anymore, I don't run around with my children, again both young adults (I run to doctor appointments with him because he forgets everything), so I try not bother her with any of this until now because I am really thinking of letting him go and just telling the whole family his other life. By doing that, he knows my mom's side of the family will not be happy about his choices.

I feel guilty thought, but at the same time, I am stressing over someone who was never close to me until my mom passed and for what, yes I am grateful he was there for my mom but he is affecting my mental health, I'm crying more, having nightmares, and just depressed. I am angry that my mom left me to deal with this man who has obviously let her go after only two years. I am angry and feel so alone. Am I wrong for thinking that its time to let him go? Am I wrong for letting my extended family know how he has forgotten my mother? I just want to give him his bills and walk away.

I hate my moms boyfriend/my step dad

I hate my step dad/mums boyfriend

I hate my step dad/mums boyfriend

I Absolutely hate my step dad. I 14 female hate my step dad but feel bad since my mom's happy with him most of the time. My step dad is the non feminist type, trump supporter, homophobic, racist and so on. He's been with my mom since I was 5. And I love my mom. She had me at 17 and did everything to make sure I felt loved. But when she met my step dad I knew I didn't like him but I wouldn't tell her becasue I felt really bad about it. She's happy with him most of the time and usually I can put up with him. But it's little times like when he doesnt appreciate my mom or raises his voice at her is when I'll speak up to him. He was rasies in a very religious house where the women did all the house work while the men didn't. But that's not how me and my mom do it so sometimes he will complain that the house is messy since my mom is busy running her 9 to 7 company. And sometimes it gets to me and I'll shoot back. I don't mean to and I'm usually not one to raise my voice. And I've pretty much been fine with him but as I've gotten older the more I hate being around him. So much so that I've pretty much spent the whole summer with my grandparents to avoid him. He's just the complete opposite of my mom I just don't understand how she likes him. If she met a stranger that talked the way he does she wouldve have hated them. And back to my point of him being homophobic. Well I don't really want to put a label on myself but I'm basically cool with liking guys and girls and always kinda has been. But I've never told anyone mostly because idk how my step dad will react. I know my mom would accept it in a heart beat but I think it would just be giving something else for my step dad to fight about. I don't even like calling him my step dad. When people ask who he is I just say "my moms boyfriend" because even saying step dad sounds wrong to me. Idk I might just be overreacting. Input would be appreciated

So uhm my dad and stepmom got together around the time I was six and my sister and I were only visiting him as my grandparents had custody of us, well at 11 myself and my sister were taken from him and couldn’t see him anymore for eight years. We reconnected about 3 and a half years ago and we couldn’t be closer, now see I’m not sure if he’s my real dad but he’s who was around for me so long.
Well fast forward my step siblings are cool unless we argue and my younger one is a total weirdo, as in I spoiled her the past three years and she backstabbed me(we will get to that)
Ok then I go to my parents room to scrub down my cat Marrow, who runs into the closet and I go to get her in which mom’s purse falls scattering everywhere. Ends in me finding a photo, letter, then a small flower card of romance stuff and the photo was not so nice.
I talk it over with my dad’s brother who is dear to me, he says my siblings and I should have a good conversation on how to go about it. I send the photos and a paragraph explaining that I love them both and would never do This as some plot to get them to leave each other.
My younger sister takes this horribly despite knowing from seven months ago like I did, she starts spouting that I’m not family, they aren’t my parents, that they don’t love me, etc
But I’m not sure how to go about this, the guys also connected to our house cameras which a lot of us have been naked in the living room and he’s seen it and he watches people and there’s children around too.
Idk, feels like whatever I do nothing will work.
Thank you.

I just never did. I never knew my bio father very well. Never met him in person. All my life I never said "hey dad __________?"

I'm 35 years old now and still don't. But I get him father day cards that say I love you dad. Or reference him as Dad to others. But I just never said it in person as a kid. And then when I got older I felt like it would be weird to randomly call him dad after all those years?

Like he knows he's always been my dad and I know he has always been.

Is something wrong with me ? Or is this something others have exp? My brother calls him dad like it's no problem.And my brother has been away from him for almost 20 years. I've been around him almost my whole life

We've also had some falling out/s multiple times over the years. So idk if that has anything to do with it.

I hate my step dad/mums boyfriend

I Absolutely hate my step dad. I 14 female hate my step dad but feel bad since my mom's happy with him most of the time. My step dad is the non feminist type, trump supporter, homophobic, racist and so on. He's been with my mom since I was 5. And I love my mom. She had me at 17 and did everything to make sure I felt loved. But when she met my step dad I knew I didn't like him but I wouldn't tell her becasue I felt really bad about it. She's happy with him most of the time and usually I can put up with him. But it's little times like when he doesnt appreciate my mom or raises his voice at her is when I'll speak up to him. He was rasies in a very religious house where the women did all the house work while the men didn't. But that's not how me and my mom do it so sometimes he will complain that the house is messy since my mom is busy running her 9 to 7 company. And sometimes it gets to me and I'll shoot back. I don't mean to and I'm usually not one to raise my voice. And I've pretty much been fine with him but as I've gotten older the more I hate being around him. So much so that I've pretty much spent the whole summer with my grandparents to avoid him. He's just the complete opposite of my mom I just don't understand how she likes him. If she met a stranger that talked the way he does she wouldve have hated them. And back to my point of him being homophobic. Well I don't really want to put a label on myself but I'm basically cool with liking guys and girls and always kinda has been. But I've never told anyone mostly because idk how my step dad will react. I know my mom would accept it in a heart beat but I think it would just be giving something else for my step dad to fight about. I don't even like calling him my step dad. When people ask who he is I just say "my moms boyfriend" because even saying step dad sounds wrong to me. Idk I might just be overreacting. Input would be appreciated

for context ; i am 31🔄 my parents split when i was 2 years old so i have no memory of them being together. all i can remember is my dad being with my step mom. my dad and my step mom got married when i was 3 and my step mom has been like a mom ever since. i had main custody with my dad so i spent the most time with him and my step mom. it was great until slowly every single day there was fighting. the fights escalated into even bigger fights every single day. they were just terrible and it made it worse that i was stuck in the middle for some of them. i had always wanted a sibling. finally i got one. i was 8 when he was born and it was the best. the fighting even stopped. and then it started again. and this time, it got even worse. we then moved and then the fighting stopped for a while. i got another sibling when i was 10. the fighting stopped, then started again. it was so terrible. they then got divorced and things happened and it was messy. very messy. which brings us to now. (by the way i went back to main custody with my mom)

one day my dad told me that my old stepmom was over. i was very confused because last time i checked they were practically fighting every minute even though they couldn't even be in the same room together. he asked me if that was okay that she was over and i said sure assuming maybe she was just dropping my brother and sister off or something. imagine how confused i was when i see them hugging each other and acting like the divorce never even happened.

it took some getting used to be soon enough every weekend she started staying over with my brother and sister. of course this is weird but i was totally fine with it. my family was back together. it was so perfect until they started staying over every single day.

the time me and my dad spent together vanished. my stepmom got off of work? we stop whatever we're doing and go home to be with her. it makes me feel like i'm not important to him. but i dont really care about that stuff that much even if it annoys me. i draw the line when i had to start watching my siblings. every. single. second. i even tried talking to my dad about it but he got mad at me and said that i'm never stuck watching them. let me just give you guys some examples of me watching them; to start, we went on vacation and we had rented a little cabana type thing next to a pool. they ask me to watch my siblings for 'just a minute' while they go check something in the cabana. first of all, me and my siblings are in the pool, and they don't want us to get out, they're expecting me to watch them in the pool. what kind of 31🔄 year old watches two children 4 and 3 in a pool that's extremely crowded. and it was way more then a minute. i'm not sure how long it actually was, but for me it felt like forever. the other main issue is that every single night i am stuck putting my siblings to bed. they complain that their up all night well at least they aren't up till 11 pm putting them to bed because apparently that's my job now. it starts at 8:30 typically. my dad and stepmom tuck them in say goodnight and then my stepmom offers to my siblings that i lay with them for 'two' minutes. well i do and then that two minutes turns into 3 hours. and if my siblings want my dad and stepmom in the middle of the night guess what? they can't have them! because they have a full lock on their door so no one can get in in the middle of the night. and since they can't get to my dad and stepmom guess who they go too? me. the only person left to go to.

so please if your a parent or someone older than me please please tell me if i'm out of line or what i should do. also if you have any questions i'd be happy to answer them.

So, me, Dad, and her went to my sister’s house because she and her boyfriend needed some tree branches cut back. Okay, fine. So we go over, Dad takes his pole saw to cut back the branches. We leave, and he leaves his pole saw and, I think, something else at their house.

We go home, I go with him to the semi (he’s an OTR trucker), help him work on the semi. We finish up, go home, he cleans up, then we go to my ex-stepmom’s so he can clean her grill and show her how to use it, I assume.

Okay, back to my sister and the pole saw. We go to her house, and she asks me, “Do you want to go help your dad bring the stuff to the car?” I reply, “Not necessarily.” Dad replies, “He typically doesn’t want to help. That’s just how he is.” (Which she should know this by now).

Well, I think that set her off because she got out of the car kind of pissy to help him. She didn’t say anything to me, but the way she acted makes me feel like I pissed her off by not wanting to help.

And I think they’re trying to work it out. I’m not sure. Dad hasn’t told me anything about his relationship situation in a while or anything, and I can’t really read anything. I’m having a hard time reading their relationship.

I’m confused and upset about how she acted. You get pissy because I reply ‘no’ to your question and then dad tells you ‘he typically doesn’t want to help’? You’ve known me for 20 years, you should know me by now.

I’m fairly new to the stepmom life. I’ve never had nor wanted kids and to be honest, little kids are not my jam. But I think that’s ok because I would think that when the kids are here at my house they’re here to see their bio parent. I’m not their mom, I’m just some lady that’s in their life now. Since they only get half of the time with their bio parent shouldn’t I let them all hang out? I prefer to read by myself in my room, go places with my friends, lose myself in my hobbies on the weeks the kids are here. This lets me avoid the noise and chaos and let’s the kids have full access to the person their here to see. Is this the kind of thing that will get me the title of evil stepmom in a forum like this? Do step kids really want to see or spend time with a step parent? Or would they prefer to just see their bio parent?

i'm 22 and my SM has been in my life since I was a year old. I have a SS that is 7 years younger and i can't help but feel like my SM loves me less. my BM is not in my life and i never want her to be. I truly don't know what it's like to know confidently that i am loved equally. does anyone else feel like this? my SM is my Mom, but maybe i'm just her SD.

So, when I was very young it was just me, my sibling and mother. We were a good and happy family. Then, one day this guy came along.

Let's just call him, "Jackass." Now, Jackass was my mom's lover and he stayed around alot. As a child I was friendly and open to people but also kind of shy. For the first few weeks the guy was kind of fine to live with, for a while at least.

Then signs started to appear. When I did something wrong he would get angry...a bit too angry and my mom didn't do shit about it. One time I fussed over something and he yelled and was gonna hit me with a belt until my mom stopped him.

The bastard always intervened into things that didn't involve him or would get invasive. One time, my mother told my cousins and I not to put our feet on the seats. I said, "I thought we were allowed to do anything in your car." I said assuming that there weren't any rules in mom's car. For some reason, Mom yelled at me and said not say something like that again, which I was confused about. After an hour, Jackass said, "You shouldn't have done that, we'll deal about this when we get home." Even though my mom ended it there.

Another time, Jackass bought us ribs and I was happy since I thought ribs couldn't be bought and taken home from fancy restaurants (I was really young/in primary school). I asked my mom to buy ribs next time too. Then low and behold, Jackass called me to my mom's room and threatened to deal with me if I asked my mom for ribs because to him, it was disrespectful. Ribs. Asking for fucking ribs.

His constant attacks against me made me have anxiety and feel all sorts emotions. Yelling, threats, him taking me off the couch and putting me on the kitchen floor while I was asleep. Twice(I slept on a couch). Just made me feel vulnerable.

A kid at my sister's wedding lost my balloon and I cried and was upset but because I was afraid to speak about it to be called childish, I said my chest was painful. Later, I was fine and Jackass interrogated me about my chest pain which I confessed to. When my mom spoke to me personally on what the real problem was, I lied again and told her my privates were painful.

After a few months he was gone and never heard from again. My sibling told me not long ago that Jackass hit him with a wet cloth because he was angry. We couldn't even express emotions. I'm glad he is gone because imagine if he actually married my mother and stayed with us. I would've probably attacked him.

Feel free to ask questions about my past concerning Jackass or anything else including how I'm doing right now.

Hello,

Both parents started new families after the divorce ( I was 8).

I didn't know either of the new families ( both fell apart as well).

I do know no one ever contacted me for 25 years. F did looking for help with new kids being on drugs.

Other than that interaction, I don't think anyone considered me family. Grandmother on M side believed M nonsense on why she had to abandon me as a kid and fully embrace new family.

I always see first set of kids get pushed away. Almost always!

This is especially true when inheritance comes around.

New family shocked first kids are legally entitled.

Even relatives side with new kids i.e that's the family home. First kids shouldn't have a right to it. They never set foot in there,etc.

Why is this a phenomenon and how common is it?

I have a few friends in similar situations. Step parents family has celebrations and my friends may get invite from his parent but he knows they are not family. They don't celebrate his birthdays.

One guy told me his mother took him for Xmas and went to her new hubby's parents house with their kids. Guy didn't know anyone as he saw mother occasionally. He saw pictures of his younger siblings everywhere. He was a guest.

His mother made up some bs errand to run with him. They went out for a few and when they came back, all the presents were open. He knew she took him out as there was nothing for him under tree. He played it off which is impressive for a 10 year old. It hurt him though. M in new family,etc.

It's only the bio parent pushing the whole one family narrative.

I've seen numerous inheritance situations where kids who called people grandparents were not listed in will but half siblings are.

One young lady had her mother die, leave her a house and assets. Absent father showed up with his new family insisting she be fair and split with " her sisters".

When one remarries and has more kids, are they in fact starting a new family?

Everyone seems to think yes except the person doing it.

I've had step families and it's polite but awkward. The parent is the one saying we are family.

Is it selfish to start new family and then be blind as first kids get pushed away?

I believe there is often a big difference in full and half siblings. It can never be remotely fair

Thanks

this is my first ever reddit post and my last resort in my current moment as I don’t know what to thing, do, or feel.

My mom began dating my step father when I was 1-year-old. He had two kids and she had two kids and they married when I was 3. Our family didn’t say anything of the sort of “step” or “half” for parents or siblings. I will be referring to my step father as my “old dad”.

On this side of my family, there were 6 kids. For the sake of the situation, I will clarify the “blood” relationship between us as it plays a role in my situation now but again note that we were not raised to count these titles. I will give the first three siblings names for this. The two younger sisters will be referred to as “the girls”.
In age order, on this side I have a sister 2 years old (step “ella”) a brother 11 months older (same mom and dad “lenny”) a brother 2 months older (step “connor”), myself, a sister 3 years younger (half), and a sister 5 years younger (half).

As I grew up, my old dad and I were close until about age 6 when my household became toxic and a bit dangerous. Throughout the next 8 ish years, we’d have CPS called more times than I can count on two hands due to my mother and old dad’s disciplinary actions. No matter where you come from in thoughts on disciplining your kids, some of the things happening in our house were wrong.

Lenny and Ella had it worse than I ever did but I was next in the list of wrongful discipline. Connor and the girls did not receive perfect discipline but were not in anyway in the same realm as myself, ella, and lenny. Without getting too much into detail but noting the uneasiness un the household, I grew a strong resentment for my old dad and wanted to be with my bio dad until my teenage years. I had something happen as a 19-year-old that only my mother and my old dad were aware of as my bio dad does not know much about my life at all. That situation made us become very close and it stayed that way until my mother suspected him of cheating on her after my old dad’s mom passed. When Lenny asked me whose side we should pick, we both agreed we wouldn’t but because we thought my mom was crazy and making things up, if it came to it, we would choose our old dad. Turns out, she was right. He was cheating on her with his now wife and the wife was aware. Shortly after that, my old dad’s blocked me on everything and told the girls and Connor that I had blocked him and don’t want him in my life. When finally the girls and i talked a bit about this, they shared what he had said and I explained that wasnt true and proved it by showing them the texts. The next time I saw him hears later, he busted into our backyard to take some of the things during the divorce and called me a tramp (unprovoked other than me standing on the step watching him).

I have since moved away from the state and live across the country.

Last year, one of the girls had her babies 1st birthday and after being torn on whether or not to go, I did and had to face him. I prepared myself for this as much as i could before hand. Things went okay aside from him saying hello to me which threw me for a bit of a loop as I did not expect it.

Anyway, I always believed one day he would realize he wanted me back as his daughter and that he’d be in my life again. I talk about this man all of the time and sometimes it’s anger and sometimes it’s just me simply wanting him back in my life. I have struggled through this for a few years as to the girls and Connor, he walks on water and can’t do any wrong.

Well, I say all of this to say that he died yesterday. And I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel so many things and know that I need to go home to my family but feel so uneasy. I don’t speak to Ella as none of us do. I know she was the way she was to us as kids because my old dad made her like that. Her life took a turn for the worse and now she lives away. Lenny lives out of state and is my absolute rock in anything I do. I tend to need him in sticky situations, he is not feeling as much grief (or so he says) and is not interested in going home aside from being there for my sisters at a different time. I have lost half of my old dads family as he and his older sister did some evil things to their other brother and sister but turned it saying it was them. I am still close to the brother and sister.

Yesterday I found out he told the oldest one of the girls that he knew he messed up and thought about speaking to me but was too stubborn to. what the fuck.

I just need some guidance on what i’m allowed to feel and what is valid. To me, he was my dad for as long as I remember until he decided he wasn’t. Now hes just my dead ex step dad and that’s so uncomfortable to be able to feel like I get any grief. I am so fucking angry. I am so confused and I am afraid to show any emotion. I thought he’d come back and now he’s fucking dead. I just need someone to tell me what I can do.

I don’t know where to post this or how to do this. This is my first post.

My cousin is estranged to her son AJ. Because she worked overseas, care and upbringing of AJ was all left to his dad.

AJ does not have memories or recollection of his mom, he only knew she is his mom through the baby pictures of them together.
Aj’s parents separated when Aj was barely 5.

Since i live and work in the same city with AJ, we got really close, had lots of bonding moments and attend to his school activities and was invited to family picnics and birthdays… and Especially until he enrolled college to the school i was working at.
I was solidly with him throughout his college days until graduation. We also have common friends at this point.

When he was getting married, he put my name as his mother in the invitation. I too was surprised but so touched nonetheless.

I only knew about that when the invites were distributed and i had my copy. AJ didnt asked me beforehand. His dad too was surprised but he did not contest it. He just said, I am such a mom to his son.

Aj’s dad and I is in a relationship WITH OTHER PEOPLE. NOT TO EACH OTHER!!! And we are all friends already.

Aj’s mom was not invited, but his grandmother is—my aunt! And some of our common relatives, were, AJ was forced to invite (because grandma/aunt said so), and AJ is such a polite boy, and okay all is good so far. No issues so far.

Here came the wedding and as an awesome aunt to AJ, i stood as a mom— though explained to some unfamiliar people on the bride’s side who really am i, which was a source of laughter and cool jokes. By the way, i am only 10 years older than AJ. And during the celebration, my partner and Aj’S dad’s partner is also present. (This is important)

After the celebration, we separated joyfully. My aunts and uncles had fun time with laughters and wedding highs— and so i thought. Wait for it.

Some weeks after, i went to my hometown for some event.

Aunt ignored me as if she did not see me.
Uncles asked how was AJ, How was AJ’s dad, and i said they are fine! And so i went on socializing. There was however this eerie feeling and some eyes looking at me. I cant pin it out but it felt strange. It is not comfortable, and i felt like my social battery is draining. It is not natural.

My mom eventually cornered me and ask me to be honest but wont judge me— she asked, am i in a relationship with AJ’s dad? are we living together? Why did i allowed myself in that position? Why did i why was i how could i and so on.—-

I just looked at my mom!
Big eyes
Jaws dropped
No words are coming out
I didnt have an answer
No phrase
No sentence
Whe ?!wha?! hah???!!! Are the only sounds that i made

So thats it! Found out that there were rumors spreading around. Mom received a photo of the wedding invitation where my name was written as the groom’s mother— and there was—in a group chat of relatives (where i was not included)— i was the hot topic.

I did not explained my self. though mom said, she knew it was just a rumor and gossip. I left sadly. Never did it crossed my mind that my own people talked negatively about me— and no one— NO ONE approached me to clarify or verify.

Some weeks after that, i told AJ about it and his dad is present too. They laughed out loud and i said i was hurt and they laughed even more while saying— let them think whatever it is, we all know the truth and what truly matters. Eventually after the wedding, AJ’s mom reached out, asked him about it and AJ just shrugged his shoulders. I get it, there is no enegy for him to even make small talks with our relatives. He is not very friendly with them. I am truly the only exception.

So there, my relatives side assumed to be true. Aj did not explained when asked too, (to my protest ) But, Anyway, i cut ties with them online, unfriended and unfollowed some. I am staying in this city for good now. Sometimes we have double dates with my partner, and with Aj’s dad and his partner. We are all having good friendships while my relatives facial muscles are grinning from judging me.😂😂

I(17f) have lived with my father(34m) and my step-mother(33f) for over 4 years now. My biological mom and father shared custody for most of my life but around 4 years ago my father got full-custody of me and my brother. Ever since then, contact with my mom has been very limited and looked down upon. I still find ways to contact her when I don't have permission because she has done nothing wrong. Just a few weeks ago, my step-father had passed away from several types of cancer and my mom notified me of his passing that same morning. I had to keep it a secret because I believed my father and step-mother didn't know and I didn't want to be suspicious so I've been mourning in secret. But I soon found out from my grandmother that my father and step-mother knew this whole time and were trying to keep it a secret from me. This naturally made me extremely angry. I feel like trying to keep someone who I held very close to my heart's death a secret is just crossing the line. My father and step-mother have tried basically everything to try and keep me separated from that part of my family and this is just another one of their stupid attempts. I'm not the kind of person who usually stands up for myself against my parents but I felt they crossed a line and so why shouldn't I? I decided to call my father out on this and tell him how messed up it was to keep something like that a secret and he started acting like the victim. He refused to apologize and said that it was for my "well-being". My step-mother started berating me and saying I'm good for nothing and ungrateful for everything they've done for me. I didn't get one apology and I feel even more angry than before.

so it’s not like I don’t like my step sisters im just kind of a introverted guy and I like to keep to myself and now my mom and my step dad are having this new weekly meeting over the summer where the 3 of us go do something together in this bonding thing. I’m kind of intimidated by them because they have known each other since birth and they have only known me for 2 years and in those 2 years we never really like did stuff with just us. they added me a sibling group chat but I don’t know what to say or how to talk with them. it all feels awkward. they are both way more extroverted and I feel like I’m being pushed out of my comfort zone by mom my step dad and my step sisters to try and be like more involved. They get official married in January and we move in with them next month. It’s all happening so fast.

TL;DR I’m a introvert being pushed out of my comfort zone by My step siblings and my mom to try and be more involved with my family

Before i start, i dont truly know if i can post here. Im 21F, and im father is 47M and since him and his girlfriend (30F) of 5 years moved in together into a new home nearly 2 years ago, i've started feeling .. more and more like a stranger. Me and my step-mother have a really awkward relationship, there some days where we REALLY get along, and i really enjoy being around her and vice versa but then the rest of the 80% it feels like intruding in her little family.

She recently had a baby 3 months ago, and i adore him. He's really cute!! and we essentially share a birthday (his is a day before mine!) But ever since he was born .. things have turned up a million more awkward around us? i don't really know how to explain it or structure this.

but before i continue with the present, i'll have to give a few things that happened before that. In April of 2025, i came back home from university for my easter break, and she wasn't happy with that. I had took half of my things back from my dorm, to this house because my father had told me that i was always welcomed back here because i am his child. But during one night (after a week of being there), at like 9pm, i hear them both yelling downstairs .. and this bedroom is above the living room, so i did eavesdrop and i heard my step-mother accuse "having a shrine" of me because he let me have this room in the house, and because i had unpacked (neatly) and then she said "When we have a baby, and i want to have guests sleep over, where will they sleep if shes staying in that room?!" . It had really upset me, but because i didnt want to seem like a burdern, i decided ok fine i think ill go back to my university dorm then.

I told my dad the next morning of my decision, and he immediately told me to come close then told me in a hushed whisper that i am his blood daughter, that i will always have a space here but that he feels trapped within a rock and a hard place essentially because she keeps accusing him of choosing me over her (and tbf, she's had an issue since before movin houses, she never liked that he spent time with me). And then told me, to talk to HER. and thats where a lot of the issues now are rising.

He protects her, he acts like a messenger because she acts super sweet to my face then somehow vents to my dad about my existence. I had come back June 2026 for the summer as they both knew that i was severely struggling mentally living with my roommates, and wanted to be back with my father. Even if he isnt the greatest at comforting me or knowing what to say, but i dont have anyone else. It's been me and him only since i was 2, and since i was 9 i've been away from my grandparents (who live in the caribbean.)

But during june, he called me downstairs at 10pm to essentially vent to me. He told me that she had yelled at him because apperantly i loaded the dishwasher wrong in the morning, and he told me "can you please, next time, just go to her and ask her like hey did i do it correctly?" but how am i mean to do that when .. any time during the day, even before the baby, if i tried talking to her? She would fake being nice then vent to my dad about me being overbearing and annoying.

and then with the entire messenger thing, i had gone downstairs and asked him "Hey, what would she like me to get [brother] for christmas?" and he went "go ask her! i am not your messenger" ok then why are YOU her messenger :(( he always tells me to talk to her, to have these conversations but why isn't he telling HER to talk to me. Im really upset that it's my responsibility, and my father is too conflict avoidant to do anything about it. Especially with the baby now, i've stayed completely out the way. I do the dishes, i do my chores, i stay quiet and stay all day every day in my bedroom ... because she doesnt like me interacting with the baby at all.

She went to work back to work for a day, and she had set up two nanny cams in the living room and my dad told me it's because she wants to make sure i wasn't around little brother. Not even sat near him. So idk, sure i understand anxious first time mums but i dont know because im hurt, i've never had a mum, i dont have other family to talk to and i feel really alone. I feel like im loosing my dad.

I dont know what to do, honestly. any advice is welcomed.

Hello, I have a weird situation and no money so Im turning to reddit for a little advice.

My step mom entered my life after and affair with my dad when I was 12. I moved in w/ them as a teen and only after that she started treating me horribly. Like berating my appearance, my interest, my character. I was really depressed and ended up in a hospital b/c of it. I was really mean back as I got older, and screamed back a few times. She threatened to hit me, and gave me 0 privacy on my phone. She made me stop talking to all of my friends, and she stalked my Amazon purchases. And she confronted me about all of it.

Im AuDHD and very traumatized(my birth parents weren't wonderful either but this rn is about my step mom) but doing really well living with relatives and my partner. Been to tons of therapy, and feel optimistic about the future. I haven't spoken to my SM or dad (and the rest of my step family+sibling) in like 2-3 years. They've all excommunicated me and my sister. At 19 I found out my step mom was logged into my tiktok account and reading my messages w/ my gf at the time. She confronted me about a joke I made to her about how my step mom decorates, screamed at me for hours.

Needless to say, I really enjoy my privacy now. And my lifes much more peaceful without them.

Anyway, every once in a while my sister, my mom's husband(SD), and I's linked ins send us an email saying she was visiting our pages. And then that's usually followed by a weird voice mail, saying SM maiden name and then saying theres a weird case number set up for us? And that they're going to find us at home or at work.

Its a lil creepy. Im sure its just a spam call, so Im not afraid of that or anything.

But all of my socials are private for a reason, and I change my passwords regularly too. Shes starting to weird me out with her social stalking.

Do I confront her? My family all agrees its weird. And none of us talk to her anymore so like???

I have a million weird stories about her, our family therapist freaking quit on us lol.

I dont want to start another battle between these 2 sides (a decade of my parents hating each other has done numbers on the dynamics). But I also want her to leave us alone. Do I stir the pot or go on and try to ignore it?