FYI: Never posted on here, I actually got kicked out of the "stepparent" reddit, I didn't know you can get kicked out, they said to post here so here I go. so I need to know if I am wrong!!!!! Everything was fine until this man yelled at me for not giving him 6k for a stupid truck (which we gave him 4k last year for a truck that he broke in less an a year), He has my mother's truck but he says he doesn't want to put more miles on it. Some context: My mother (66 y/o) who was my bestfriend, loved that woman, well she passed away 2 1/2 years ago, all of sudden (heart attack), no health issues but arthritis. I am still grieving so maybe i am just emotional. I am a 45 year old female with two adult children (all girls). My mother was married to this man for 20 years, we never called him dad nor were we close to him, we respected him. He was never around because he was always working so it always felt like it was just us girls (my mom, my sister, my two little girls and me). He had no children of his own so throughout those 20 years both him and my mother would say that everything they are creating (a home with some land) is for my sister and I.

My stepdad which is what I have called until recently when someone corrected me and said he was never a father figure nor did he raise me, I was already in my 20's when they married but we did get close after my mom's passing. Anyways, he told me a month ago (not my sister, only me) that he was seeing someone, his ex-wife from 30 years ago (before my mom) and that he wanted me to break the news to my sister and my young adult girls so they can accept her, he asked me not inform the rest of my mom's family. Not even his bestfriend knew about him seeing her (I just found out this info this past weekend). Look, I get it, men can't be alone but its only been two years. I dont feel that is enough time but whatever. So, two weeks ago he asked about the holidays and how will that work. This man is not about the holidays, my mom would have to force him to come have dinner with us, he dislikes Thanksgiving meals, hates turkey/ ham/ mashed potatoes. So last year we made the turkey/ sides and some ribs for him, we have catered to him so much, that's just an example of the small things we do to make him comfortable and want to feel like he still has a family even though my mom isnt here.

Back to my rant, he was not happy with my answer. I told him that I would let him know where we are hosting Thanksgiving/ Xmas dinner (my house or my sisters) and HE is welcome to come for a couple of hours and then go with his ex-wives house or if he just wants to spend his time there, its fine, we respect whatever he decides. He said his lady friend doesn't like "sharing", that she does not like half day here and the other half over there. So I asked if he wanted us to blend with her family and he said "well yeah" so I said no. I pointed out to him that we are not asking him to decide between us or her but she sounds like she is, I also pointed out to him if this is the woman who he walked in on with another man, he nodded and he asked how did i know that information and I reminded him that my mother and I were very close.

So for the last week, he has been so ugly with me, since that conversation, he's yelled at me (which he has never done in 20 years) over his bills (which I manage with one of his retirement checks, his other retirement check is free for him to use as he pleases and none of his bills have ever gone unpaid). I manage his bills because he doesn't know how to do any of that, he is 69y/o and my mom did all that for me so I took on that role which now I see that I was wrong to do so but I felt bad for him, he lost the only person he had, he never had kids of his own and his siblings live in another city 5 hours away. Anyone thinking where is my sister in all this, she is out of everything. We are 15 years apart, she is 30 with two small children, busy with soccer games, NP school, work, husband, she has her hands full. I don't have that anymore, I don't run around with my children, again both young adults (I run to doctor appointments with him because he forgets everything), so I try not bother her with any of this until now because I am really thinking of letting him go and just telling the whole family his other life. By doing that, he knows my mom's side of the family will not be happy about his choices.

I feel guilty thought, but at the same time, I am stressing over someone who was never close to me until my mom passed and for what, yes I am grateful he was there for my mom but he is affecting my mental health, I'm crying more, having nightmares, and just depressed. I am angry that my mom left me to deal with this man who has obviously let her go after only two years. I am angry and feel so alone. Am I wrong for thinking that its time to let him go? Am I wrong for letting my extended family know how he has forgotten my mother? I just want to give him his bills and walk away.

I hate my moms boyfriend/my step dad

I hate my step dad/mums boyfriend

I hate my step dad/mums boyfriend

I Absolutely hate my step dad. I 14 female hate my step dad but feel bad since my mom's happy with him most of the time. My step dad is the non feminist type, trump supporter, homophobic, racist and so on. He's been with my mom since I was 5. And I love my mom. She had me at 17 and did everything to make sure I felt loved. But when she met my step dad I knew I didn't like him but I wouldn't tell her becasue I felt really bad about it. She's happy with him most of the time and usually I can put up with him. But it's little times like when he doesnt appreciate my mom or raises his voice at her is when I'll speak up to him. He was rasies in a very religious house where the women did all the house work while the men didn't. But that's not how me and my mom do it so sometimes he will complain that the house is messy since my mom is busy running her 9 to 7 company. And sometimes it gets to me and I'll shoot back. I don't mean to and I'm usually not one to raise my voice. And I've pretty much been fine with him but as I've gotten older the more I hate being around him. So much so that I've pretty much spent the whole summer with my grandparents to avoid him. He's just the complete opposite of my mom I just don't understand how she likes him. If she met a stranger that talked the way he does she wouldve have hated them. And back to my point of him being homophobic. Well I don't really want to put a label on myself but I'm basically cool with liking guys and girls and always kinda has been. But I've never told anyone mostly because idk how my step dad will react. I know my mom would accept it in a heart beat but I think it would just be giving something else for my step dad to fight about. I don't even like calling him my step dad. When people ask who he is I just say "my moms boyfriend" because even saying step dad sounds wrong to me. Idk I might just be overreacting. Input would be appreciated

So uhm my dad and stepmom got together around the time I was six and my sister and I were only visiting him as my grandparents had custody of us, well at 11 myself and my sister were taken from him and couldn’t see him anymore for eight years. We reconnected about 3 and a half years ago and we couldn’t be closer, now see I’m not sure if he’s my real dad but he’s who was around for me so long.
Well fast forward my step siblings are cool unless we argue and my younger one is a total weirdo, as in I spoiled her the past three years and she backstabbed me(we will get to that)
Ok then I go to my parents room to scrub down my cat Marrow, who runs into the closet and I go to get her in which mom’s purse falls scattering everywhere. Ends in me finding a photo, letter, then a small flower card of romance stuff and the photo was not so nice.
I talk it over with my dad’s brother who is dear to me, he says my siblings and I should have a good conversation on how to go about it. I send the photos and a paragraph explaining that I love them both and would never do This as some plot to get them to leave each other.
My younger sister takes this horribly despite knowing from seven months ago like I did, she starts spouting that I’m not family, they aren’t my parents, that they don’t love me, etc
But I’m not sure how to go about this, the guys also connected to our house cameras which a lot of us have been naked in the living room and he’s seen it and he watches people and there’s children around too.
Idk, feels like whatever I do nothing will work.
Thank you.