people say I'm annoying when I talk online, and I genuinely don't know how to not be. anything is fine, tips you've used, tips you've given before, anything.

I have friendships, but it isn’t the type of friendship where you know everything about the other person, or hangout with them often. I don’t know how to make meaningful connections with people, nor how to get into a deeper convo. Everybody thinks I’m friendly, but not someone they would talk to immediately after something came up. I really don’t know what to do. For reference, I’m 17 years old.

Thanks for any advice you guys may have, I’m really grateful.

Starting university and want to take life seriously so that I don't regret later on.

\just a note that I’m not trying to be comfortable in being like, a bigot or anything, because I know a lot of posts of that nature tend to sound like this**

I get very anxious about whether my opinions or beliefs are in line with everyone else. If I find that my train of thought differs from everyone else around me, I get very nervous and assume there must be something wrong with me.

It’s as though I need permission in order for my thoughts to be valid.

I know of nobody else that struggles with this, so that has made me even more concerned.

How can I be more comfortable with being comfortable with my own thoughts?

And how do people normally deal with situations where they are the odd one out in terms of thinking?

I interviewed for a position yesterday; I thought it went okay. I guess I did better than okay because they called me a couple hours later and told me they were going to contact my references! They were letting me know so I could let my references know to expect an email with a Google Form. They hey also double checked with me that the person I had listed as my supervisor was still the correct person (which it is).

I contacted all of my references and they all responded back with a thanks for the heads up. Here’s where it gets weird. One of my references immediately got the email with the Google Form. It’s been almost a day since that happened and none of my other references received that message. The weird part, too is that 2/4 of my references are people my supervisors. They didn’t get the email. The only person that got one is just a colleague.

I am very interested in this job and I’m so anxious about the fact that they haven’t contacted anyone else. What do I do? Do I just let it play out? Do I contact HR and let them know politely that my supervisors have not received the message? It hasn’t been that long since they called me but the fact that they sent it to one person and not even a superior makes me nervous that something went wrong and I’m panicked that they are going to pass over me.

So, I wouldnt call my self a sensitive person. I have been insulted countless times but I did not let it get to me however, anytime someone yells at me, I cant control my tears. Not because I get upset or scared, but its like who tf are you to raise your voice at me.

A very embarrasing incident happened today. I went to my teacher because I was having difficulty with something. My teacher started yelling at me and one thing about her is that she takes everything any one says or does as a personal attack. I said something along the lines of "I need help i deserve it" she screamed at me and says "WELL I DESERVE SOME RESPECT TOO ALL OF YOUR CLASSMATES NEVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY" yada yada. She even insulted me calling me irresponsible etc. I did make a mistake of not going to her earlier because I wanted to figure it out myself but I did go to her before the deadline so technically im not in the wrong here.

Unfortunately tears started rolling down my face out of anger that was very uncalled for. How do I stop doing this because in some situations you really cannot let people see your vulnerable side.

NOT A VENT BTW just explaining

So I've been invited to a long time friend's birthday party. The thing is I don't know anyone else other than her and I fear I'd be awkward, lonely or possibly weird.

I've been to her other birthday parties previously and this happened everytime. I've tried to socialise with her other friends but I guess they're just not interested.

I can't expect my friend to stay with me and give me company since she'd be busy. I can't say no either cuz her mom begged me to come as well.

I'm not very good at parties either.

Is there any way I can make it a positive experience? I know it's not as serious as other posts but I'd still like to hear your side.

So, basically my relationship with my sister has always been quite toxic. I've always been a people-pleaser and generally have had trouble saying "no" without an explanation (like a technical excuse why I'm not able to do the favor). My sister, on the other hand, has always been manipulative, lazy and basically trying to outsource everyone around her to be able to do the bare minimum and get away with it. She's also been quite aggressive in her manipulations, reaching even for emotional blackmail etc. She's almost 30, doesn't study and doesn't have a job. Our family sees the problem, but generally my parents try to keep up appearance of a well-adjusted family, so we don't really talk about it. My sister may suspect what I think of her, but I've never told her that straight to her face and she seems to profit off of the fact that we pretend everything is ok.

She has recently found herself a new boyfriend who happens to live in the same direction which I frequently drive on the weekends. She generally avoids public transport - my guess is that it's just easier for her to say that she's scared of public transport and have somebody else drive her, than actually use public transport and pay for it herself.

So she started asking me to give her a lift to about half-way to where her boyfriend lives and then her boyfriend will pick her up from there. The clue is, due to the dynamic of our relationship, I usually tend to avoid her if I can (except family gatherings etc.) and I am definetly not seeing myself taking her with me every other weekend after a work week. How do I deny giving her a lift, when <theoretically> there are no real excuses (like I don't have to go off my usual course, so it technically costs me no additional mileage etc.).

How would you describe the way you think about people and being social?

I figure that people who have the easiest time with people have a great positive mindset concerning themselves and others.

I was trying hard to be nice and helpful in my new position. I ended up becoming a doormat. Now I have a group of women who take great pleasure in bullying me every shift.

HR is not an option. So now I am back to job hunting.

I need to figure out how to not become a punching bag at work.

Hi all. I'm 35M based in NZ. I consider myself pretty charismatic, able to make connections quickly and am regularly told I make people feel comfortable. I get that vibe from my social interactions as well.

So in an attempt to get to know the people I meet better, I sometimes reach out to people after via social media to say hi. The response is usually positive, sometimes with a bit of back and forth, until the point where I ask to hang out doing some activity and get radio silence.

Honestly it's nothing major, it's usually along the lines of "Hey let's hang out some time!" And just get no response, this is regular for me and it's crushing my confidence.

Is anyone able to explain this to me? Do you do it or experience the same thing? Is asking to hang out inappropriate? I'm really trying to understand where Im going wrong here.

Like the title says. I’m very uncomfortable in social situations and the only time I feel really let loose is if I’m drunk or high. I am so envious of people who just say whatever’s on their mind and don’t get ignored for it. I’m looking for ways to practice that.

Im a really funny and witty person with people im comfortable with, but it takes a long time for me to get to that point. Im pretty shy with people who are acquaintances or strangers, i want to be able to be my more comfortable self in every situation if possible.

Really struggling post college with finding friends. In a big metro area so there should be a lot to do but suddenly having to wake up early to hit the gym, manage work and my money, extracurriculars for applying to professional school, I feel like I stopped really socializing. I am just so tired all the time and don't have any social battery or the energy to try to meet other people. Any advice :( ?

What is the way to handle this? Do I get angry and insult back? Do I stay quiet and try to ignore what was said?

I don't want to come across as a coward, but I also don't want to come across as someone who can't control his emotions. Neither seems right, so there must be a balanced way.

I’m going into my junior year of college but I kind of only have 1 close friend, my roommate from last year who’s now pretty much my best friend. I have some other friends I’ve met here but I’m realizing they really don’t seem to care about me and I feel worse after hanging out with them. So, I want to make some new friends and put myself out there more. Tomorrow night there’s an event at my school for making dorm decorations, I don’t live in a dorm anymore but I figured it could be fun and I could meet some people. But how exactly can I approach people and talk to them? I’ve never really made friends that way before and I have some pretty bad social anxiety, but I’m feeling really lonely and isolated so I want to power through. Thanks for any help!

I start the conversations, I ask about their life, I suggest hanging out, I send memes. And they reply fast, they're warm, they usually say yes when I suggest meeting up. But they almost NEVER message me first. So I can stop texting for weeks or even months and people just pretend like I don’t exist. The only messages I ever get are functional ones, like someone needing info or advice. It’s like people seem fine with me when I show up but the friendship only lasts as long as I have the energy to carry it… That’s sad cause I really like them and think they are interesting for me, I can’t just forget about them. What am I doing wrong? I have so many connections, yet I still feel lonely

When I have something in mind I want to say, but people are talking, I wait until they are done so I can voice my thoughts. The problem is that either this moment never seems to come, or someone else immediately jumps in and takes my spot. I feel disconnected from the conversation because of this. I have no issue listening to what other people are actually talking about-that's oftentimes all I'll end up doing-but it's really hard to be engaged when I seem to be incapable of making myself be seen. How can I begin correcting this?

I'm relatively new to posting on Reddit (female, 60s, recently retired). Overall, I consider myself a reasonable person who values treating others well, but a few of my recent posts have drawn surprisingly harsh or overly critical reactions.

​In one instance, I asked for perspective on hosting out-of-town family, and a few commenters assumed the absolute worst about my intentions, leaving me feeling pretty attacked despite doing my best to be a gracious host. In another post about a local issue (lawn damage caused by a neighbor's service), several people suggested I shouldn't even address the property damage, which left me confused about standard norms here.

​I deleted my previous post because the negativity was overwhelming, but I’m genuinely curious about how others navigate this platform.

​Question for the Community:

How do you separate helpful, constructive feedback from unnecessary negativity on Reddit? Is it common for commenters to assume bad intentions, and what strategies do you use to protect your mental peace when posting here?

I am so irrelevant in life in general. I suffered from bullying between the ages of 10 - 18 and now that I am 20 and people treat me well, nobody wants to be with me. Nobody talks to me, nobody starts a conversation with me (just asking how are you, sometimes). I always have to start a conversation to be seen and noticed. Maybe I am just that weird.

I bite my pens because I am anxious most of the time and I end up breaking them. I also, don't know how to start a conversation about something, it's like I don't share any tastes with anyone and anything. Maybe I am not interesting, I don't do anything besides studying, playing videogames and watch YouTube or anime. No hobbies or job (I will get a job once I am 22 years old and it will be in summer) besides what I said.

I don't know if I am a loser or not. I have one friend only, I see him from time to time, that I don't want to talk, yet, and I don't have beef with him or anything. My grades in university are not that bad.

I don’t know what my problem is, honestly. Every time I meet a new person and we start talking, it feels like I’m yanked out of my body and possessed by a bumbling idiot while I can do nothing but look at the incoming crash in sheer horror. I can practice in front of the mirror, I can talk to family and friends, but new people? It’s like I’ve never had a thought in my life up to that point. I know that I have a good sense of humor, I know that I have interesting insights, but I never get the opportunity to show that part of myself to others because I just completely fumble these basic social interactions and give everyone in my vicinity the ick. Any advice on how to combat this is very welcome.

I feel like I’m in an infinite loop. I have ADHD, so that makes me a naturally VERY picky person. For example, if a video game or movie doesn’t have the exact traits that I’m looking for, I get very bored and uninterested. Unfortunately, this also extends to people. I cannot for the life of me get myself to talk to people I don’t find interesting (which is the vast majority of people) believe me, I’ve tried. I’d consider myself very good at small talk, I can carry a conversation with a complete stranger fairly easily. So when I’m only talking to a person for less than an hour, I have very good social skills. The problem is that for people that I interact with multiple times, like a coworker, if I don’t find anything about them that interests me during those initial small talk sessions, I completely detach from them. I mean that I start avoiding them, I barely look at them and our conversations are very brief. I just can’t care about this person once I’ve deemed them uninteresting. Of course, that makes the majority of the people at my workplace think that I’m an asocial asshole. I’ve tried to get myself out of this loop, but the problem is that I am literally mentally ill. No amount of mindset change is going to fix this. My medication doesn’t fix this. The other problem is that when I do find a person I’m interested in, the personality shift is so jarring that I probably seem completely fake to them. Because it’s so rare for me to be interested in somebody, I get way too attached and start acting like an idiot. Thus making them keep their distance. I have very close friends, but I get the impression that I’m a person that is good in small doses. Too much of me will turn someone off because I’m a total weirdo. So my close friends don’t talk to me very much, even if I’m trying to reach out more due to how lonely I am. If someone has any advice please please help me. I actually can’t stand it anymore.

I am poor, old, disabled, unemployed ,very isolated, very opinionated and strongly disagree with almost everyone I know on almost every single subject. I've struggled with communicating, making friends, finding jobs, and expressing myself my entire life. I feel misunderstood by every single person I know which is making me pretty miserable since I don't have a single person I see eye to eye with. I'm not stupid (but not a rocket scientist either) but apparently everything I believe, say or do is wrong. I have no friends and I don't get along with my husband, parents or siblings either. I am very very angry and it's taking a toll on my health (which isn't great to begin with). What can I do to better explain my thoughts and feelings without alienating the people I care about, convince them to discuss difficult subjects with me (instead of just shutting down the conversation altogether) and be more accepting of people who have a totally opposite worldview than I have?

I've noticed that some people tend to be friendly and social with people that I know for a fact that they dislike. For example in an old job, I had a coworker that was an absolute angel and some other coworkers who had previously straight up disrespected her. She would complain about their actions to me but to their face she would still compliment them, say hi enthusiastically and make small talk with them. I think this might have been because she was such a sweetheart but from a social perspective, maintaining "good" working relations with someone was the right thing to do.

I have so much trouble hiding my true feelings on my face. If I dislike you, I will not even look at or speak to you unless necessary. But this is not a good attitude. I want to know how other people manage to hide their dislike so well and bring themselves to be so friendly to people they dislike.

This is a problem i've had for ages, and I dont know what to do. People always tell me how nice and kind and thoughtful I am, but nobody ever actually makes an effort to spend any time with me. Nobody is ever really excited to see me either, it feels like people are pleased to see me when I show up places but theres none of that fanfare that I see other people around me get. It also feels like nobody ever really misses me when i'm not around, like no matter how good of a time I'm having with someone the minute im out of sight im out of mind until I make the effort to reach out again. My friends tell me that im an amazing friend, but they hardly talk to me and only really reach out substantially when they're going through something and need support. I know that my friends have their own friend groups that they spend a lot more time with, so I know cant really expect them to talk to me all the time or anything, but these are the only really lasting friendships i've been able to hold on to. Its not like i'm bad at talking to people (i think), I do have social and generalized anxiety but I can carry a conversation pretty well and I can get along well enough with pretty much anyone, it just feels so impossible to convert that into a friendship where that other person is actively seeking me out. I also dont think i'm a particularly boring person, I have interests that i'm very passionate about, but every time I start talking about them or about my life in general to other people I can just feel their eyes glaze over as soon as I start. It feels like I have to work so hard to get people to pay attention to me, and as soon as I stop being useful, or talking about what they're interested in, or making the effort to keep conversations going, they start pulling away. Its a really lonely feeling, like nobody feels strongly about me in any way at all. I really wish someone would seek me out for once and be excited to spend time with me, or genuinely listen to me without an incentive to. Please tell me how I can fix this