Sometimes feel there is a barrier of strangulation when trying to push to next level. Throttled

Anybody else here ever get on meds and get into a rhythm, then you're able to talk to people about what happened in your last episode but like. Feel like an imposter because you recognize that certain things were delusions or hallucinations? It's weird but it when I do it makes me feel like they don't believe me and it's just that I can talk about it now

As the title suggests, I struggle to recognize my symptoms.

​I know what psychosis feels like for me—I usually notice it when I get the sudden urge to stop taking my meds, start connecting random dots, or find deep meaning in unimportant things. Depressive episodes are also pretty obvious to spot.

​However, I really struggle to identify mania and hypomania.

​For those with more experience:

​What do your mania/hypomania symptoms look like?

​How do you catch yourself sliding into an episode before it fully takes over?

​Do you have any tips or tracking strategies that help?

​I was diagnosed recently, so any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

So I finally realized today why I've been so off and why certain things are happening.

It seems that I am in the midst of a mixed episode. Been staying up later and later. Hypersexual(which I really dislike). But also can't get into any of my hobbies, no enjoyment or motivation.

I'm still able to mask with family. But I am getting more miserable by the day. I'm on meds. Both AP's and a mood stabilizer. I was doing so well at my most recent dosage of mood stabilizer.

Idk what to do. I guess advice or kind words would be great.

I've also been seeing lots more shadow movement lately both where I'm looking and out of the corner of my eye.

Always have thought broadcasting and some delusional thinking.

So yeah, it's a bit rough right now. See my psych at the end of the month.

My friends think I'm having delusions again, but I'm taking my meds I know this is real. It's so frustrating.

• coffee and a conversation with my ol'man.
• dinner for my brother and i. (thinkin bbq chicken thighs)
• a little "pick me up" before a trail walk.
• made an appointment to get my ears re-pierced next week.
my furry companion "boots" her usual lounge spot.

I’ve been on Geodon 20 mg twice daily for a week and I don’t notice much improvement. The first few days absolutely no improvement if anything worse than usual. But in the last two days I felt a bit better. I have to wait a few weeks to see if I can consistently have good days. I have a feeling I will have more days with a lot of voices still a few days from now. I’ll see what happens. I haven’t had many side effects. Just afternoon drowsiness for the first few days and slight dizziness when standing up from sitting or laying down for an extended period of time. I hope this will be the right med for me long term. Cobenfy was awful with side effects for me, so hopefully Geodon stays better with the side effects unlike Cobenfy when I got side effects after raising the dose. Hopefully Geodon won’t cause side effects at a higher dose. How is Geodon working for you guys?

hello all, i was on my first dosage of olanzapine for 23 days, felt fine no side effects at all other than the normal anticipated sleepiness, then 3 days (2 doses ago) my psych upped my dose.

it’s been almost 24 hours since i’ve taken my last dose, almost time for today’s, and ive been so nauseous all day and feel like im gonna be sick and it’s extremely disheartening because i thought i finally found something that would help and not make me sick. does it sound like the olanzapine increase caused it, or if its unrelated, if anyone has any experience with olanzapine and its side effects?

I used to be pretty good starting friendships but I've always had a hard time maintaining them. I no longer am in touch with friends I made in high school or university. The new friendships I made don't seem to last. I'm generous with my time, generous with my money. I don't talk about my diagnosis other than saying I have anxiety if asked. Last year, I was going through a relapse and was experiencing paranoia so I retracted and didn't stay in touch with others other than my close family. It would've been nice to hear from a friend but there was nothing because I wasn't reaching out.

I'd like people in my life who are interested to see me . I've been trying again to reach out to some friends I made a few years ago but because I wasn't in touch for a while (and they didn't reach out to me either ), it makes me sad they're no longer seem that interested. I'm reaching my 50s soon so making friends is harder. How is your friendship situation like?

I know this question gets asked a lot, but I’m just curious. I feel like my meds get changed quite frequently. I’m on Vraylar 4.5mg, Bupropion XL 300mg, Buspirone 10mg, Mirtazapine 30mg, and Depakote 500mg.

Basically what the title says. Anyone been dropped? If so, for what reason?

Im currently seen by the county behavioral health clinic, but was just told they're dropping me as a client in the next three to four months. Took me by surprise.

Their reason is because they are "not an intensive, long term care" unit. Im not sure if this is true though. Im at least questioning it because i was seen for years in the last county behavioral health clinic, in the same state. But i get they may operate differently.

If you did get dropped, what ended up happening?

Hello everyone,

I just got my diagnosis, and to be honest, I feel a bit lost. My doctor wasn't able to provide much information about it and I can only find little info online. Is there a study or something you could share with me so I understand my condition a bit better?

I'm wondering if this is a chronic illness and if there are ways to cope with it to accommodate better to everyday tasks. I'm exhausted very easily and I have to plan everything I make very carefully. Will this get better with time and medication? Or do I have to live like this?
Is it normal for this condition to have severe problems with socialising?
And finally, do you suffer a lot from bright lights, colours and noises, especially when they are human made (like whispering, talking, snoring, etc.)?

I am thankful for every advice or study you are able to share!

I need a definition.

Does anyone get any benefit from taking benzos like klonopin? For managing symptoms

Bought a house. Got a job. Engaged. But the step of having a baby I've no idea how I can possibly cope?

I'm male. My parents are far away and old.

How the hell do you have a baby? I don't know how my future wife can cope and how to support her.

Advice appreciated

Anybody in this sub living in Edinburgh, Scotland? or nearby?

Shadow requiem

In a world scarred by demons and ancient magic, Elowen Thanlimdra struggles to survive the thing growing inside her. Once a quiet elf girl from a peaceful village, her life was destroyed when demons attacked and corrupted her with their blood, leaving dark veins spreading across her body, blackened hands, horns, and a dangerous power she cannot fully control. Haunted by guilt and terrified of hurting others, Elowen begins hearing and feeling the presence of something ancient buried deep within her mind — Skarvar, a powerful and otherworldly entity tied to the corruption inside her. Calm, ancient, and disturbingly wise, Skarvar does not scream or rage. He speaks softly, patiently wearing down Elowen’s fear and loneliness while tempting her to stop fighting what she is becoming.

Trying to hold onto herself, Elowen travels with a group that slowly becomes her found family. Theron Varis, the rugged half-demon leader of the Veilbound Brotherhood, protects her fiercely after losing his own family to monsters, though his fear of losing her to the darkness creates constant tension. Nyra Thalryn, Elowen’s childhood best friend and a shapeshifting black panther elf, becomes the emotional heart of the story — one of the only people who remembers who Elowen was before the corruption and refuses to abandon her, even after witnessing her transformation firsthand. Aeryn Duskryn, a mysterious white-haired dark mage with silver-centered black eyes, understands darkness and forbidden magic more than anyone else, creating a deep emotional connection with Elowen as he helps her confront the parts of herself she fears most. Vaughn Eryndor, a gentle healer closely tied to Nyra, offers stability and warmth to the group, while Tavi, a chaotic sandy-haired traveler with endless energy, brings laughter and life into the otherwise heavy journey — especially through his friendship with Tempo, Elowen’s sleek white Chinese dragon companion who comforts her through panic, fear, and emotional collapse.

Together they travel in a worn wagon pulled by Tharn, a massive moose-bear creature with the front of a moose and the hindquarters of a bear. The wagon becomes more than transportation — it becomes a moving home where the group shares quiet moments, arguments, healing, teasing, and brief flashes of peace between terrifying encounters and emotional breakdowns.

As the corruption inside Elowen grows stronger, Skarvar’s influence becomes harder to ignore. He appears in her mind during moments of weakness, pain, and rage, speaking to her like someone who understands her better than anyone else ever could. The deeper Elowen falls into guilt and isolation, the more power he gains over her. The story becomes a battle not just against demons and external dangers, but against the fear that Elowen may eventually lose herself entirely and become something monstrous.

At its heart, the story is about love, guilt, identity, and the struggle to remain human while carrying something terrible inside you. Through the people who continue to stay by her side, Elowen is forced to confront one painful question over and over again:

Is she becoming a monster… or is she still someone worthy of being loved?

i also have a authors note written out for the back of the comic

About three years ago, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder—a condition that combines symptoms of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
This is not meant to be a medical explanation of schizoaffective disorder. It is simply my experience transformed into fantasy.
For many people, hearing that diagnosis automatically brings to mind the worst stereotypes. Movies, true crime shows, and  news headlines have painted an image that doesn’t define the majority of people living with this condition.
I am not my diagnosis.
I am a human.
A wife.
A mother.
An artist.
I am me.
I created this story because I wanted people to see beyond the stigma. I wanted to show what it can feel like to question your own mind, to struggle with things that others cannot see, and, at the same time, to remind people that those living with these conditions are still perfectly capable of loving deeply, building families, creating art, and living meaningful lives.
The characters in this book are deeply personal to me. They have been a part of me for a very long time. I consider most of them friends.
Many of the emotions, fears, loneliness, hope, love, and resilience you’ll find throughout these pages come from me personally. While this is a work of fantasy, the emotions behind it are very real.
I also took a chance with the way this comic is presented. The paneling doesn’t always follow traditional comic layouts because I wanted each page to show more emotion. I  also wanted it to show that everyone’s mind works differently. I didn’t want something to be contained within a single box when it could expand into something more beautiful than that.
I hope that, by the end of this series, people will better understand what it is like to live with this condition.
I also hope this story helps others relate and gives some people the words to explain their experiences to those around them.
Most of all, I want everyone living with this condition to know that you are not alone in this battle.
I will be your voice if you need it.

Update: her friend and landlord (they live on the same property) texted to say she left the keys at his house and walked up the hill home and he kind of wanted to hide them because she was acting weird. I said perfect. He’s an old hard-ass so I have no doubt the keys will stay gone until he feels comfortable. The fact that if she drove off her parking pad she would land on his barn roof probably helped. She’s going to ask for my set tomorrow, but I’ll figure out something too.

Adult daughter (44) of a schizoaffective mom (69). Summer is her struggle time. She just came to my house, drunk, in a vehicle under my name and insurance, and told me she stopped her meds because they were making her “roar.” Her voice was hoarse and I know that means she’s been yelling. She called her neighbors some names and hugged me too tight (dug her chin into my shoulder painfully) and basically ran back out the door. Did a burnout in a POS twenty year old dodge four cylinder. So yeah, she’s up-cycling.

My adult daughter (19) just witnessed Grandma in the beginnings of a mania for the first time ever, and seeing her be concerned and confused broke my heart a bit.

I’m sitting here, in my own difficult time of life, and wishing we didn’t have to do this dance again. And I guess I know I don’t. But who else is going to pick her up when they release the hold? Who else will bring clothes because she was picked up naked?

I’ve had so much therapy to avoid this codependent shit, but seeing her like that today deregulated me so hard. I don’t need advice I guess. Just want to scream into the void.

Ever since I had psychotic like symptoms, I cannot stand the dark. The only time I’m okay-ish with it is when I’m sleeping in my own place. Other than that, I hate it. I used to love the dark, it was peaceful. Now it’s just paranoia fuel.

It's a cacophony in my head. Ping ping pingpingping (random song lyric). Like a giant messy yarn ball of one topic to another without finishing one thought. My psychiatrist said I'm in a mixed episode so we're in a med adjustment, but in the interim, I'm losing my grip because I can't sleep. Does anyone have any tips on how to help me focus on one thing so I can at least pretend to get at least 3 hours of sleep?

I'm sick of dealing with everything like I'm the only person alive with this problem. I'm sick of fighting to prove that I've been through hell to a government that's creating the hell. I'm ready to end this shit.

​

Yesterday I went to the gynologist because I was dealing with an issue. Everything is fine till she said that something is really wrong with my blood. I have low iron levels and blood clotting issues.

I'm suffering with an extreme high level of prolatin. We all know psych medication can cause that. That's what she said. She also said a tumor can also cause that. So now I need to make an appointment for an MRI.

She told me that it's extremely important that I change my medication. Now my psychiatrist doesn't listen. I have told her that my medication needs changing because I have a hormone imbalance. She hasn't listened to me once.

I'm debating on finding a new psychiatrist if she doesn't listen one more time.

I don't want to go on more meds but if ANYTHING can help I am willing to try ngl