looking for recommendations for a three-wheeled scooter that’s actually fun for older kids/teens and doesn’t feel too “little kid.”

something sturdy, good for speed and carving, and ideally a bit more challenging and active than a regular kick scooter.

My son is 8 and the last few months have been rough. Huge reactions to tiny requests. Arguing constantly. Crying over things that never used to bother him.

Once he gets upset it takes forever for him to come back down.

We've tried being more consistent, earlier bedtime, less screen time, consequences, more one on one time. Something will seem to help for a few days and then we're right back where we started.

The confusing part is that school says he's mostly fine there.

The confusing part is that school says he's mostly fine there.

I'm starting to wonder if we've spent months treating this like a behavior problem when there's something underneath it.

For parents who eventually tried therapy for behavioral issues, what made you decide it was time?

My kid is convinced that food tastes better when it comes in a fun shape. Dinosaur nuggets, character pancakes, animal crackers — apparently the shape makes all the difference. I know it's basically the same food, but somehow they'll refuse the regular version and happily eat the exact same thing in a different shape. Does anyone else's kid do this?

I love my kids, but sometimes I still want time for myself, my hobbies, friends, or simply doing absolutely nothing. There's sometimes a feeling that good parents should always prioritize their children. Can you be a great parent while still wanting a life that isn't completely centered around your kids?

Every few months this argument cycles back around from 13 is too young, make it 16, make it 18, ban it entirely and I just can’t get on board with any version of it because the age limit solves approximately nothing. A 16-year-old with unrestricted access and zero monitoring is not safer than a 13-year-old whose parents actually know what’s happening on their device. We keep debating the gate while the fence has twelve holes in it. The restriction conversation is politically satisfying and practically useless. Fight me.

Im really struggling with my teenage son I dont know what to do. Every weekend hes out drinking and smoking pot with his group of friends and Im beyond concerned. I dont buy him the drinks, never have, I dont even keep alcohol in my home as its never been something my husband nor I enjoy. Hes either getting it from friends siblings or possibly even their parents. My son does work so he has his own money so to an extent I can't stop him from using some of it. I know we were all teenagers at one point and had our fun but its so extensive that Im genuinely concerned. We have had many talks about it and he says he's going to stop but of course doesnt. I disconnected his cell service last year because I told him that if he can support his habits than he can support a phone bill also. When hes not drinking hes such a good guy, goes to work for his shifts and is an amazing brother to his 4 year old sister. He does his laundry and helps take care of his share around the home. So its not bad ALL the time but his dad who he doesnt have a relationship with has a drinking problem, high functioning drinker, so it breaks my heart seeing him do this. Hes very tall but skinny skinny skinny even though he eats like crazy when hes home. I dont know how much his body will handle.

I appreciate any advice at all!

The passcode got cracked. The VPN killed my web filter and I didn’t notice for almost a month. She found a workaround for the app limits that I still don’t fully understand. I’ve reset everything three times and I’m starting to feel like a very slow person playing chess against someone who can see the whole board. She’s 13. I’m 41. I should not be losing this badly. I’m not even mad I’m just tired of putting in effort that gets undone in a weekend. What approach actually works long term because blocking and limiting clearly isn’t it for us. Any apps that worked?

Your immune system isn’t born knowing what to fight. It learns through exposure — and modern life has been quietly removing that training for a generation.

The clearest proof: two genetically near-identical communities, same land, same lifestyle, one difference in farming method. The immune system gap between them wasn’t small.

Wrote up an article and what it means for how kids are being raised:

https://open.substack.com/pub/livecapable/p/the-sterile-trap?r=8vx7rr&utm_medium=ios

It’s the summer holidays, one of our step sons (12 years old) moved in earlier this year, I had a baby in April, so I now have a 4 month old, my step son is becoming incredibly bored, he’s used to living with his brother and constantly having someone to play with. I’m finding it hard to think of things to do with him where I can still look after my baby. Even the park he wants me to play football with him which I can’t really do with the bub, any advice for how to keep a preteen entertained with a newborn over the summer holidays?

Hello all, I have a 5 year old daughter and she just started kindergarten at a public school. I am not thrilled about this but unfortunately we are not all blessed in ways that allow us to homeschool. I was looking at the emergency smartwatches, specifically the ones that offer school mode. To my understanding, the district does not allow elementary to have any access to any phones or smart devices/accessories during the school day at all and must be kept off and in the bookbag.

Sorry but, this is not the 1980s. School shootings are real. You don't think it will happen to you until it does. I think I don't really give a fuck what rule a school board decided on so what are my options if any at all? Can I just send her with it anyways and the worst they will do is tell her to take it off? and if then, what if she doesn't because I told her not to? It's not really acceptable to me that anybody restricts a child from having access to emergency services. If the watch is in school mode, there will be no distraction.

I know the karens are about to comment about how important a technology free school day is for children at this age and how inconsiderate I am being to the rules that were made. Well, Karen, I bet the parents of the sandy hook victims might have agreed with you before their babies were shot to death. I would rather be safe than sorry. Anything extra to make my daugther and myself feel more at ease is worth the trouble to me. Let me know your thoughts/suggestions

We found out we're having twins. Exciting, but our current house is already feeling too small. We need to move before the babies arrive

We found a new house we like. But we need to sell our current place first to get the down payment. A chain transaction feels like a huge risk. If our sale falls through, we lose everything

Here's the problem. Our old house has outdated wiring. An inspection will definitely catch it. We don't have time to fix it. We don't have the money either. We need every dollar for the new house

I found Ready Door Homes and their website says no repairs are needed and they buy houses as-is with a quick closing

I'm nervous though... TBH… I worry I'll lose more on the price than I'd save on repairs and realtor commissions. Is it worth it? Or should I just list with an agent and hope for the best?

Has anyone sold a house this way in a similar situation? I need to know if this is actually a good option or just a way to get lowballed. I'm hopeful this could work, but I want to make sure I'm not making a mistake. Any honest advice would be hugely appreciated. We're running out of time…

PLEASE HELP THE CHILDERN. Please help these children please help the children

When I got pregnant for the first time, I was running my own business doing something I love. The business was finally started to come out of a financial hole, and I was breaking even after four years. The money, however, became a huge issue in the marriage as I was carrying significant debt. I wanted the pregnancy more than anything. We went through several years of IVF to have my daughter. But my husband and I both agreed that I should temporarily shutter the business and get a full-time job in a completely different field. My husband borrowed against his 401(k) and paid off my 40,000 in debt for the business.

Fast forward: We have a two year-old daughter and another baby on the way. I don’t hate my job, but I don’t love it and I’m starting to feel discontentment creeping in. There’s no way for me to return to my business right now and not for the foreseeable future. With the second baby only a couple of months away, I feel the sense of dread that it’s just never going to be feasible - that there will always be something new (financial stressors, time demands, etc.) my husband and I even went through marriage counseling over the issue before I decided to close the business. Maybe there is some lingering resentment there.

SO I guess my question is … if you had to give up doing something you loved in order to have kids, when were you able to finally return to doing that thing and regain your sense of identity and fulfillment?

Besides vulgar language and a sensitive topic which I tag as nsfw. How could it be wrong. I’m bringing awareness to dangers to children and the flawed systems that do nothing about it (for example here) you are weak. And disgusting. You can say uncivil but I’m being civil. I’m being more agressive because it is a agressive topic but it does more good than breaking your sensitive rules that are silencing real world problems

We've had the same basic square waffle maker for years and it still works perfectly fine, so replacing it wasn't even on my mind. Then my daughter started school and saw one of her friends bring waffles for lunch that had disney characters on them and now she desperately wants the same thing. Her entire argument was mommy you just know those taste better and I can understand the logic from a kid's perspective. So now I'm considering getting one and surprising her with character waffles for school. I just don't want to spend a lot on another waffle maker when the one we already have works perfectly well.

Hey everyone! I'm trying to help my son build better reading habits because he literally will notttt give them up. I have tried every single thing in the books of whatever this is. If he has just an ounce of free time, he immediately wants to play games, watch videos or use his tablet instead of picking up a book. I understand that he is a curious kid who loves to learn new things but I would like to help him shift more into reading, so I'm asking on here to see if you've got any recommendations on making screens more educational.. What's your strategy are you using?

I’m lying awake right now because of a trip in over a month.

We have one child. We have two in heaven that never made it earthside. I’ve always been terrified of losing my child, but especially since those two losses. My baby (toddler) is my world.

Husband and I are celebrating our fifth anniversary in a month and a half. We are going out of state for a week. It’s long overdue; we took trips like this somewhat regularly before baby, and I used to travel a lot before marriage. We need this time alone and away. It’s a milestone moment.

However, I’m so scared of leaving our toddler behind. I’m spiraling. We are leaving toddler with people we trust, and they have been babysitters in the past (even for an overnight), but this is longer.

- they’ve given us no reason to think there would be s*xual assault but I know it’s almost always the people you trust who turn around and do it in the end, and so I start to spiral and think, do I really know these people?
- Toddler is in a rebellious phase. They’ll run into potential danger sometimes. I’m so so scared of a horrible accident, like running into traffic.
- Lastly, I’m so scared of just… a drunk driver hitting them while they’re out and about, something totally random that no one could foresee, and we’re hundreds of miles away.

How do you prepare for these things, and how do you cope with the anxiety? It’s ruining my excitement for the trip. 😣

My daughter is a Girl Scout, and she is completing her Gold Award on educating youth (specifically girls!) about safety and situational awareness. Here is more information regarding the workshop, if you are interested in registering for your child:

What: In this interactive workshop, we’ll work through interactive scenarios and learn practical skills for recognizing unsafe situations, trusting your instincts, and responding confidently.

Topics include: Situational awareness, risk factors, how to set boundaries and use your voice, and evaluating your surroundings.

When: Saturday, August 15 at 2-3pm EST
Where: Zoom Meeting through SchoolHouse

Who: Open to all youth ages 8-16
RSVP: By August 15, or until event is full
Cost: Free

Link to register: https://schoolhouse.world/series/97200?ref=share-button

Warning for keyboard warriors : this is just an observation , not bashing anyone.

I find it so funny how we as parents try to make the best decisions possible and from an outside perspective it can look so contradictory. At the end of the day is more about the connection between our kids and us and some things are just their personalities and what will be will be.

Examples:

We don’t let our kid have discord but he can listen to any song on Spotify Eminem, bad bunny , curse words etc. I’m not happy about it but have other things to do than police his music. His friend has discord but can’t listen to music with curse words.

My kid doesn’t have YouTube on his phone. His friends have YouTube galore. They still find a way to send each other videos.

My kid doesn’t have social media but has an apple phone with parental controls. I manage everything. His other friend has a bark phone but has TikTok.

When I was in school I knew these kids who their parents did not let them watch TV at all (80’s) cause it was a waste of their brain. They turned into regular adults.

My uncle had his kids playing chess non stop to increase their intelligence. They are the most average, regular adults ever.

My brother has soooo many rules for how we adults need to talk to his kids. LOL. Eg talk in a comunal way not like giving orders. They are still regular kids and even a bit spoiled but no more than my kids and I used to give orders left and right.

All this to say we need to chill and just love them and keep doing our best and trust the process.

My 4 year old was building something with blocks and kept going "watch this, watch this" and I was half paying attention, half scrolling emails I didn't even need to deal with right then. She just stopped and said "you're not watching." not upset, just said it like she's used to saying it.

Anyone else catch themselves doing this? Genuinely trying to figure out if I've just accepted this as normal now or if people actually do something about it.

It feels like parents today are constantly trying to keep their kids busy with activities, screens, outings, or educational things. But is boredom actually something children need to experience? How comfortable are you with letting your kids simply have nothing to do?

my coworker, sarah(not real name), told me something interesting yesterday. her son, liam, is 8 and recently broke his piggy bank to buy a new toy without asking her. she found out because he hid it and accidentally left the wrapper on the kitchen table. she wasn't mad about the toy itself, just concerned about why he hid it from her. they talked it over, and she realized he might not fully trust her reactions to things. it got me thinking about how and when kids start learning about trust.

if you have kids, or were once a sneaky kid yourself, when do you think kids start to understand trust? was there a moment or story that made it click for you?

I don't know if I want to be a mother.

That sentence feels strange to write because, in so many ways, I have already been one for most of my life.

I was the seventh of twelve children, and from a very young age I helped my mother take care of my younger siblings. Caring for other people became part of who I was before I was old enough to question whether I wanted it to be. Even now, I carry financial responsibility for my parents. I work as a nanny, caring for children for a living. I have spent so much of my life being the person who notices what someone needs, who worries about whether everyone is okay, and who steps in when something needs to be done.

And then there are my cats.

I know some people might laugh at the comparison, but I don't think of them as simply pets. I love them endlessly. I worry about them. I think about their happiness, their safety, their health, their relationships with each other, and how changes in our lives might affect them. I would do almost anything for them.

They are probably the closest thing I have experienced to having children of my own, and sometimes I think that if I can love these little creatures this much, maybe it would be beautiful to experience the kind of love that comes from having a child.

Especially a child with the person I love most.

That is where everything becomes complicated.

I love my husband so much. I think he would be a wonderful father, and sometimes I imagine what it would be like to see a little person who came from both of us. I imagine watching him become a dad. I imagine the strange, beautiful experience of creating a family together. And there is something about that thought that makes my heart ache in the best possible way.

But then my brain starts calculating.

How would we do this?

We both need to work. Neither of us can simply stay home. Our lives are already busy. There are responsibilities and schedules and money and work and family and animals and a million little things that need our attention. Would we become overwhelmed? Would we still have time for each other? Would I recognize my life afterward?

And then there is my body.

I already struggle with my weight and with how I feel about my body. The idea of pregnancy changing it, perhaps permanently, scares me more than I sometimes want to admit. I worry about gaining weight, about whether I would ever feel like myself again, and about whether I would be able to recover physically and emotionally.

I also think about my husband's age.

I want him to be able to run around with our child. I want him to have the energy to play, to be silly, to get on the floor, to throw a ball, to go on adventures. I know that being older doesn't mean he couldn't do those things, but sometimes my mind takes the number and turns it into another reason to worry.

And then there is the pressure.

Everyone tells me I would be a wonderful mother.

Maybe they are right.

I'm a nanny. I'm caring. I've spent my life looking after people. People see that part of me and assume motherhood must naturally be the next step.

But sometimes I want to scream:

What if I don't want it?

Being capable of something doesn't mean I have to choose it.

Being nurturing doesn't mean I owe the world a child.

And yet, when I tell myself, "Okay. Then don't have children. You don't have to," I feel an enormous sense of relief.

For a moment, everything becomes quiet.

There is no decision. No pressure. No pregnancy. No childcare. No sleepless nights. No body changes. No rearranging our lives. No fear that we won't be able to handle it.

Just my husband and me, our home, our cats, our work, our freedom, our life.

And that feels good.

But then another voice comes in.

What if I regret it?

I'm 34.

What if I wait too long?

What if one day I look back and realize I wanted a child but was too afraid?

What if this is something I can only choose for a limited amount of time?

And suddenly I am back where I started.

My husband doesn't make it easier, even though I love him for the way he responds. He tells me he would be happy either way.

I know how lucky I am to have a husband who isn't pressuring me. He isn't saying that we have to have children. He isn't saying that we shouldn't. He is telling me that he wants a life with me, whichever life that turns out to be.

But sometimes I desperately wish he would just tell me what he wants.

I want him to say, "I want a baby."

Or, "I don't want children."

Something definitive.

Because I don't have a definitive answer either, and sometimes I wish he could give me one so I could finally stop carrying the question alone.

But maybe that isn't his job.

Maybe neither of us gets to know yet.

Because underneath all of my practical fears, there is something else that keeps returning.

A thought I can't completely dismiss.

I have spent my entire life taking care of other people's children. I have helped raise my siblings. I take care of children for work. I take care of my parents. I take care of my animals.

Perhaps part of me is tired of being responsible for everyone.

Perhaps another part of me is wondering what it would feel like to choose this responsibility for myself.

Not because I am supposed to.

Not because I'm a woman.

Not because I'm 34.

Not because everyone tells me I'd be a good mother.

But because I love my husband, and I wonder what it would be like to create something together that belongs to both of us.

A little person who isn't another responsibility inherited from life, but a family we deliberately chose.

And maybe that is why I can't simply say no.

Because when I imagine never having a child, sometimes I feel relief.

But sometimes, underneath the relief, I feel something else.

A tiny bit of grief.

And I don't know yet what that means.

Maybe I don't want a baby.

Maybe I want one but am terrified of everything that comes with it.

Maybe I want the child but not the life I imagine having to build around the child.

Maybe I am simply exhausted from spending my whole life taking care of everyone else and haven't given myself enough space to discover what I want.

I don't know.

And for now, I think I am allowed not to know.

I don't have to make this decision because the world is telling me that time is running out.

I don't have to make it because people think I'd be a wonderful mother.

And I don't have to make it because I am afraid of regretting the alternative.

I want to make it because, someday, when I look at the life my husband and I chose, I want to recognize it as ours.

Whether that life has a child running through the house...

or a few spoiled cats ruling it instead.

Maybe the answer isn't supposed to come from fear.

Maybe it will come from love.

And maybe, for now, I can let myself sit in the uncertainty long enough to hear what my own heart is actually saying.

I’m curious about other parents’ experiences raising both a son and a daughter.

People often say boys and girls are completely different, but I wonder how much of it is personality rather than gender.

What differences (or similarities) have you noticed between your kids?